Fight Coercive Control, Collusive Infidelity (Sander's Shared Fantasy)
Channel: Prof. Sam Vaknin
Date: 2021-02-26

Projective identification is a form of coercive control within the shared fantasy. It sometimes results in collusive infidelity. Paradoxically, serial cheating BUTTRESSES object constancy: (“he keep coming back to me, choosing me over all his other women”).

The term "shared fantasy" was coined by Sander, F. (1989) in "Shared unconscious conflicts, marital disharmony and psychoanalytic therapy", published in J. Oldham & R. Liebert, eds., The middle years: New psychoanalytic perspectives (pp. 160–176). New Haven, Conn.: Yale University Press.

Why SOOTHE the narcissist when you had mortified him?

Enabling and Codependency

Toxic Masculinity

"Coercive control refers to a pattern of controlling behaviors that create an unequal power dynamic in a relationship. These behaviors give the perpetrator power over their partner, making it difficult for them to leave."

Monitoring activities, Exerting financial control, Isolating the other person, Insulting the other person, Making threats and being intimidating, domestic violence, Using sexual coercion, Involving children or pets.

Projective Identification and Collusive Infidelity 

“Collusive Infidelity, Projective Identification, and Clinical Technique
Robert Mendelsohn, The Psychoanalytic Review Vol. 101, No. 4, August 2014

Criminalizing Coercive Control

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