What Failure and Success Taught Me About Identity | Subscriber Question
Channel: Dr David Maloney Psychotherapy
Date: 2020-04-27

Procrastination and feeling paralyzed can result from feeling pressure about expectation from others. Here, I try to address this issue from a subscriber.
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Question:
I feel completely paralyzed around my work. Most of this is down to pressure I feel from other people. I am clear about my goal and I know it will take a lot of work to achieve it. However, the thoughts of failure fill me with a sense of terror. I see the disappointed looks from my family and friends, my partner. They’re all expecting me to succeed but, in my mind at least, this is far from guaranteed. What if I fail? What if all my effort leads me nowhere. I know this might seem a bit dramatic, but I feel I’d be a disgrace in other people’s eyes. I’m not sure how to get past this. I know I’m seeing this wrong and being negative, but I feel helpless in terms of shaking off this feeling of being paralyzed. Any insights or advice would be helpful and might help some of your viewers. Ben.

Answer:
- Work is wrapped up in your sense of identity.
- I am successful (I am a failure).
- Complete success is complete engagement.
- Nothing to achieve and nothing to avoid or put off.
- No one actually cares.

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Dr. David Maloney is a Psychologist and therapist. His has trained in a variety of techniques (person-centered, Gestalt, ACIM, psychodynamic) and works with people on a wide variety of issues. His main areas of expertise are in self-esteem, motivation, and relationships.