Cat vs. Dog
Channel: aethercowboy
Date: 2024-01-06

A hip-hop rap battle between pets.

Lyrics: Me (@aethercowboy)
Music: Suno (suno.ai)
Images: SDXL

Lyrics
[CAT]
I'm the purrfect pet picture, pitter-pattering on my precious paws.
My predilection for affection is pure and demands applause.
I'm up all night as the light takes flight from the house,
Keeping crepuscular creatures from competing to be mouse

King and I'm thinking of asking 
For my royal repast to be served with a glass ting!
And as I clean my face, I'm facing a question mark:
Does this dippy dog have any bite to his bitty bark?

[DOG]
You think you're great? I'll have it said,
That the humans don't like finding mice without heads!
I'm the number one fuzzy,  man's best friend,
You're a little hissy fit with two smelly ends.

I play fetch, play ball, go on W-A-L-Kays,
You're just sitting around expecting to be praised.
Find a sunbeam, and you're down for the count,
But I'm there by their sides, without fail, without doubt.

[CAT]
You're only by their side 'cause you can't decide on your own,
Barking boisterously at boogey men when you're bored and alone.
And you want to go declaring that this kitty cat stinks?
Well, the stinky skunk don't smell itself. And you have a stripe I think.

You're stupid, it's plain and simple, you fall for invisible balls,
While you're diggings dugouts on the backyard I'm the queen of comfort with four walls.
I can plainly see that you'd be a grouchy grump.
If you weren't currently too busy sniffing at your own rump.

[DOG]
(Woof!) Shall we say nothing of the cat?
An animal thats too scared to take a real bath?
Get too dirty and the water starts steaming,
Take one dip and you're screaming like a demon.

I'm the D-O-G G-O-D of the P-E-T.
Put this battle to the B-E-D!
This dog's tale is enough to rock your socks,
Leaving you sifting through your lyrics like a messy litter box.

[CAT]
I for one am surprised you can even spell!
Who's a good doggy? You can go chase your tail!
This puddy tat's getting catty, and all chatty with divine rage,
While puppy piddles puddles in the parlor, spending nights in a metal cage.

I know you're a dumb doggy, so I'll put it in terse words ,
The best pet's not the one who wags his tail at curse words.
You're slovenly, slobbery, and lack basic appeal.
The cat's in the bag, so sit, stay, heel!

[DOG]
Put your claws away, you're no DJ, you can't scratch.
I'm the son of a biscuit with the itchiest back.
You want to step to me? This thing ain't fair .
I'm spitting out lyrics, while you're coughing up hair. (Cough cough)

I'm the goodest boy that the others wanna be like,
I'm wagging my tail while I'm dropping the mic.
Pay attention, if you must, write it down in your blog,
When asked why you lost, you can blame it on the dog.