Awesome Things
Channel: wozify
Date: 2011-07-02

This year saw Bioware's most divisive launch to date - Dragon Age 2. A lot of Origins fans were disappointed at the sudden shifts in direction, style, feel and depth of the game as Bioware chased after that elusive 'action gamer' audience.

But see it from the other side. A certain type of gamer must have fallen in love with this game at first sight...and so here's a song for them (with apologies to the Fun Lovin Criminals for the chorus).

Lyrics below:

Thought I'd try out a new game, so I picked up Dragon Age 2
Never heard of Bioware, but what the hell - the screenshots looked good
The hack n' slash is great because I don't care much for story
Watch me swing my massive sword and skip your allegories
I'll take down armies by myself and rise to power covered in glory

Because I'm running around doing awesome things with every button press
Turn my mind off and keep on bashing A A A and dealing death
(There's nothing wrong)

I'm a Call of Duty fanboy, action games are my favourite thing
I don't really like sitting through game dialogue 'coz I find it boring
Just tell me where to Fed Ex to and the rest I'll be ignoring
If there's more than thirty seconds between fights I'll start snoring
I don't play RPGs but I'm the audience I know you're adoring

I just like running around doing awesome things with every button press
Stab enemies and watch them all explode in such a gory mess

I like the way you streamlined all of my decision-making
Railroaded stat choice and companion itemisation
I don't quite understand this falling metacritic rating
Its like you changed the game in ways your fan base wasn't anticipating

But now we're running around doing awesome things with every button press
You could have re-used more places, and put in more waves to impress

Running around and doing awesome things
Running around and doing awesome things (There's nothing wrong)
Running around and doing awesome things (There's nothing wrong)
Running around and doing awesome things

Suck it up, princess