TMDMM 1: Pedro Fernandez's Cock
Channel: Migueltzinta Solís
Date: 2011-06-19

I graduated last week with a Bachelors of Arts in Experimental Media and Queer Chican@ Studies. You may not have heard of this emphasis before. That's because transgendered Mexican's don't make movies. We make essay films.

Pedro Fernandez's cock is pushing against his fitted pants. My abuelita puts on her glasses to see if he's wearing his wedding ring. Her high definition tv reveals he is. Disappointed she states, "Ah chucks". Pedro Fernandez wiggles his ass and my abuelita suggests he "Chake it bat don brake it."

During the commercial break there's a news teaser about some women who committed an unspecified crime against two innocent children. "Mercen que las quemen con lena verde pa que nunca se dejen de quemar." says my abuelita. She says that's what her mother would have said.

Father's day is this Sunday. My abuelita frets about making my cousin-in-law chuletas. I plan to raise kids but something tells me I ent never gonna get no chuletas for father's day. My inner fag takes revenge, plotting to learn to make them by watching her make them for el Bill.

Mama says she's being neutral about my transition. So sublimely PC. PFLAG woulda been proud.
Neutral, as in neutered, desexed, sexless.
For now I am my mother's ken-doll son.

The first change I noticed was the busy-ness in me.
Busy-ness like encyclopedias, like lists, like recipes, like birth certificates, like job applications, like scripture. Busy-ness like a roomful of ancestors sitting in folding chairs telling stories to each other in my sleep. And my body, a chemistry, an alchemy set in motion, listening intently.

Luke tells me I yelled, "Pinches mapaches," in my sleep the other night, before rolling over and squeezing her in my arms saying "Te quiero un chingo, guera." She says it was like I was suddenly possessed by a rough campesino man. She says, Whoever he was, I loved that man. - Migueltzinta C. Solis