Macavity The Blistery Cat by D S Idiot  recited by my friend David Conrad Linus
Channel: Fluentlingua
Date: 2022-01-03

Macavity: The Blistery Cat
by D. S. Idiot (1968 - )
based on 
Macavity: The Mystery Cat by T. S. Eliot (1888-1965)

Macavity was a Blistery Cat: he had blisters on each paw,
For he was the hardened criminal who daily defied the Law.
Police, people, detectives, all tried but tried in vain,
For when they reached the scene of crime, he watched them with disdain.

Macavity, Macavity, there was no one like Macavity,
He’d mastered how to break each law with abandon and audacity.
He twisted laws of nature as if he cared for them a fig,
For him the sense of order was like a useless piece of twig.

You’d give it top priority to nab him when at fault,
You would search him in the hall, you would hunt him in the vault, 
He would hide behind a barrel, or he would lose himself in the attic,
You could search him everywhere till you got utterly frantic.

Macavity was a ginger cat, he looked tall and sublime,
You would know him if you saw him, for his grin smacks of crime.
He had a long tail, sharp claws and glossy auburn coat,
but he had no mercy at all when his victims he smote.   

Macavity, Macavity, there was no one like Macavity,
For he was a devil in flesh and blood, a master of brutality.
You might have seen him on rooftops, or in verandas or on stairs,
but when a crime was discovered, he was busy elsewhere with his affairs.

His demeanour was of a cat contented with his life,
but his misdeeds clearly hinted a strong internal strife.
When the kitchen was ransacked or you spotted a broken glass,
Macavity was responsible, but he wouldn’t be there alas.  

When there were smudges on paintings or scratches on your walls,
or clothes ripped to shreds, and mud on your shawls;
for sure it was Macavity who had just finished his deed,
and run away slyly as wily he was indeed. 
   
Macavity, Macavity, there was none like Macavity,
For he committed every act with grace, fun and alacrity;
Even when he was caught once, he just sat there sucking lime,
‘twas no surprise he was called, the Napoleon of Crime!