THIS BODY HAS SEEN THINGS by SHIVANI KSHIRSAGAR | VOXSPACE | SLAM POETRY | HYDERABAD
Channel: VoxSpace Studios
Date: 2018-12-17

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Hyderabad Slam Poetry "This body has seen things" by Shivani Shirsagar

All my life I had been asleep
Until my first attempt at death
Where I popped tablets
Hoping to hop on the first train home
No matter the crowding hustle
The stifling bustle
And the cacophony of human songs
All unheard -
All I wanted was to get out of there
Get out of this body
And be somewhere, neither here nor there, but away;
I could not afford a rocket,
But tablets? Death by overdose is better than jumping off the moon,
better than being consumed by a soundless abyss of no oxygen, and only
untethered, aimless satellites for company
Now that's a sad death.

But I digress
I speak of my regression into a quick impression of death
To escape a repression that's life and offer a blow to the suppression
courtesy my mind

But I digress
For I plan to offer a happily ever after
Of how I became a Goalcast video
Or 10 million views TED talk
Or an Oprah or a Times Influential
But well. Yeah.
Else I wouldn't be here. A sad writer awake at 1.53 am.
Still. I am a survivor still.
Still. I am here. Still.
Still. I speak and share and rant and digress. Still.
I lost and cried and pained and... And held my body in the lonely
space of human life
And held my body as seasons passed by
And held my body for none did - people are busy and you are not a
liability. You're their friend and daughter and sister and every other
human relation except to be a real-time witness to your collapse and
drain.

But I digress.
I left a lot of things behind.
And people and places and memories and moments and emotions and
feelings and thoughts and prayers and grudges and my mess behind.
A lot of lot behind
Why?
For I am my own God,
My own goosebumps-inducing Goalcast
My own fairy godmother
My own godamned heroine
And I don't digress.

Baby girl.
Go give yourself unexplainable love
Else remain comatose in the human dream.

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