Valiant Vanquished Recap Season 2, Volume 3, Issue 4
Channel: James Pistole
Date: 02/08/2017

Valiant Vanquished Recap Season 2, Volume 3, Issue 4: Music and lyrics by James Pistole
Valiant Vanquished Season 2, Volume 3, Issue 4: https://youtu.be/hWqEU3GzDlA
New episodes live Wednesdays at 7 PM Pacific: https://twitch.tv/HyperRPG
Audio: https://soundcloud.com/jpistole/valiant-vanquished-recap-3
Lyrics:
Noa and Dike and Karen and Jay
Da Powa Group in the faraway
Well things don't always go as planned
Now they’re off to visit Heretic land
He might have some info that da group needs
So, they all mount up on their dinosaur steeds

Lots of dinosaurs in the faraway
Plants are made of metal, water's mercury
It's outside of time, they might be here for years
At least no dies, nothing’s as it appears

Keep your wits about you, and keep your eyes peeled
Heretic land might be a real minefield
Wandering in blind could be an epic fail
They gotta find a way to clear a safe trail

Lots of dinosaurs in the faraway
But, why risk them, when they could risk Dike?
With increased density, he's as hard as stone
Da group hangs back, as he walks in alone

They're starting to think that there aren't any mines
But that's no guarantee that they're gonna be fine
A shot rings out, and Noa gets thrown
With a glimpse into his mind, the shooter's placement is known
Next shot's towards Dike, but he instantly ducks
Now it's heading for Karen, and she might be out of luck
But, she summons Wally the Wall, and he takes the hit
Stick 'em wants to know why they always doing dumb shit

But, if all else fails, maybe try and talk?
Sometimes that's all takes, I know; what a shock?
Or if you're Noa, there's always mind intrusion
Force him to relax, a more peaceful solution

With things calmed down, they meet that grizzled old man
All alone, except his gun ProfessorDanDan
He calls himself the Heretic, and while we're sharin'
He talks with his gun, just like PewPew and Karen
Well the Heretic shares his traumatic story
How he's come to think that they're all in purgatory
Da group tries to explain that this is the faraway
What a strange concept, there isn't much left to say
The Heretic sighs, and he leaves the room
Then ProfessorDanDan lets out a mighty boom

They say no one dies in the faraway
But there are things that you can't come back from
Why, after all this time,
would the Heretic choose to die?

Well, there's no time to mourn when things are this chaotic
The Walking are coming, looking quite necrotic
Survivors of the same crash that stranded the Heretic
They never really died, but they look even worse than sick
Jay emits his green mist, and it goes to their heads
Every single Walking falls down dead

But wait, are they just asleep?
Such control from Jay? I think I might just weep.

After all this commotion, CactaurStirFry is gone
He took all their dinos with equipment loaded on
ProfessorDanDan offers to track him non-lethally
But remember this gun wants to let you kill easily
A shot rings out, and a dino goes down
Dike cries as it hits the ground

Lots of dinosaurs in the faraway
But no more Hardboy Lillyjammer
Why, would they let Dike
name a living creature?

Well, Cactaur's long gone, so they need a new plan
But what's the sound from the bushes? A robotic trash can
Not just one but a bunch, not shy and they don't cower
They're very insistent that they need food and power

They say
FOOD FOOD BATTERY FOOD

Those robots must recharge before they're beyond repair
Ironically enough Da Powa Group has no power to spare
But those robotic trash cans have an incinerator
So, anything organic can fuel their generator

Lots of dinosaurs in the faraway
Here comes a T-rex as trash cans lead the way
It might be dino meat that the robots pick
But Da Group themselves are also organic

Rather than wait to see if they're on the menu
Da Group decides to vacate the venue
Jay takes a shot with ProfessorDanDan
The incinerator explodes, man oh man
Noa thinks that T-rex could serve as a car
She convinces it with a well spoken Raaaawwrrr
Well they finally catch up with CactaurStirFry
He built a bomb from those parts, but it's not clear why
He's no match for Da Group, they don't even need their powers
But the bomb's on a timer, and it's down to two hours

Cactaur says the bomb cannot be disarmed
Can they find a way to make sure no one's harmed?
The next challenge, for Da Powa Group!