Orange Plates
Channel: Dave Phillips
Date: 2023-03-02

Some years ago here in Ohio USA we had an interesting law that required a convicted drunk driver to put specially-colored license plates on his or her vehicle (assuming s/he was still allowed to drive, of course). Law enforcement officers can easily spot such plates, and of course everyone else gets to cast humiliation on the yahoo who decided to drink and drive. The following song is dedicated to a foolish neighbor who managed to fall afoul of the authorities, winning himself some brightly colored tags for his pickup truck. Hilarity ensues. 

Caveat auditor: Some of my songs include rather rude lyrics. This is one of those songs. You have been warned. 

I got orange license plates on my car
Ran into something coming home from the bar
Orange license plates on my car
I can still drive, just not very far
The whole damn neighborhood knows what they are
Those orange license plates on my car

    I wish I'd never seen a bottle of gin
    Can't wait to see another bottle again
    I wish I'd never seen a line of cocaine
    But that's how I met my sweet Rosaline
    I wish I hadn't touched that last glass of beer
    Cause I'd be somewhere else now, anywhere but here

Where it's no license plates and no car
I'm spending the next ninety days behind bars
With no license plates and no car
Sweet Rosaline ain't so sweet no more
She says she's got no time to wait for a tard
Who's got orange license plates on his car

I got orange license plates on my car
Orange license plates on my car
I got orange license plates on my car
Orange license plates on my car
I got no woman, no job, I had to hock my guitar
To pay for orange license plates on my car