AITA for saying that no one was getting any food until I finished my work?
Channel: Story Time
Date: 2023-01-07

AITA for saying that no one was getting any food until I finished my work?

I (29F) live with my husband Tom (32M). He has a child Anna (5F) that he sees on weekends. I love Tom a lot, but honestly he can be a little exhausting sometimes. Anna is always sweet. 

A little background context: in my family, my mother always did much of the work. She had a high paying job just like my dad did (both of them software engineers) but my dad was often on the couch playing video games while she worked on her laptop and cooked and cleaned all at the same time. I hated the dynamic and brought it up with my mom often but she had always just defended my dad saying that he did a lot of work. I promised myself that I was never going to grow up and marry someone like my dad. 

Now, years later....I'm kind of in that position. It's true that Tom does bring in a lot of money, but so do I. The first year or so was good. Sometimes he forgot things and had to be reminded, but overall he did what he was supposed to. After that, he just started slacking until I was doing the majority of the household chores and work. Every time I brought it up and tried to get him to change, he at first promised he would and then go back to his normal routine a few days later, and then later on he would just sulk every time I asked him to do the chores. I guess I kind of stopped asking because it never got anywhere. 

Over the weekend, Tom brought Anna over. I was working on a big project on my laptop, and had been since early morning. He went out with Anna for breakfast, and then came back around noon asking what was for lunch. I told him I would sandwiches or something later because I was busy. He kind of looked at me weirdly, and then went and sat on the couch and played video games while Anna napped. Every once in a while he would look over at me, and then go back to playing video games. Later he finally puts down the controller and came up to me and asked why the sandwiches weren't ready yet. I told him that he knew I had a big project I was working on and would do it later. He tried to take the computer away from me coaxingly and saying that Anna would be hungry and that the project could wait. 

At that point I kind of snapped. I was stressed from the project and I hadn't eaten all day (my fault) and I sort of yelled. I told him that he had arms and legs and a working brain so he could make lunch too, and that he does this all the time, and that he needs to start pulling his weight. He got startled but then yelled back that cooking was my job (I usually do the cooking and usually it isn't a problem because I like cooking). I told him fine. I said I was sorry for trying to push my duties onto him. I had been about to make the sandwiches after a small portion of the work was done, to relax with a bit of cooking before returning to the project, but I then told him that I absolutely would make the sandwiches - but only when all my work was done. He started whining, but I told him either he finds some other form of food for him and Anna, or they wait. 

AITA?

                    #reddit #AmItheAsshole #tts