The Outer Critic Sabotages Intimacy & Relationships through perfection & safetyism
Channel: Visceral Gravitas
Date: 2022-12-25

Excerpt from Visceral Gravitas Community zoom group 6/25/22
"INTIMACY SABOTAGE⛔The Outer CRITIC 👀 path = Forever ALONE 😞 for Codependents" 1h20m https://youtu.be/sd7XRX8w2xQ

Community discussion forum https://www.visceralgravitas.com
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rough transcript: 
The outer critic sabotages intimacy through unrealistic expectations for perfection 
or the outer critic is looking for any imperfection 
and the outer critic is projecting an expectation that you deserve safety 
you go into a place, you just expect safety 
safety isn't because you develop and cultivated long-term relationships 
it's just you go into a place you say you deserve safety and it comes, if it doesn't you hold people accountable by setting boundaries and just demanding safety
and just testing everybody constantly shit testing people to see if they're perfect 
that's how the outer critic sabotages intimacy 
but perfection and safety is something that is cultivated, that's nurtured 
that comes out of relationships that are healthy, that's an after effect, after you have an embedded, consistent, building of trust and trusting patterns of interaction 
then you have the reward of safety and perfection 
you're going towards more perfected relationship because people are consistent with each other 
which develops trust and then you have patterns of interaction so people are familiar and you trust people's patterns 
safety trust gradual vulnerability leads to intimacy 
there's a progression of a linear formula 
for your outer critic