Overcoming People Pleasing with Leslie Howard Smith | Jen Liddy Coaching
Channel: Jen Liddy | Content Creation For Your Business
Date: 06/07/2019

“What do you WANT?” This question is terrifying for many women. 

Why? Because we get trained to put everyone else’s needs above our own…So we never know if something we want is for us - or to make someone else happy. 

Welcome to the mind of the People Pleaser!

This week, Leslie Smith, self-proclaimed people pleaser, shares how this experience kept her from her own dreams for so long - and also how she’s learning to OVERCOME the habit!
What’s the Issue? 
A lot of women put themselves down because they are afraid of what other people might think. What ends up happening is they say “yes” to so many things, for other people and end up not putting themselves on their to-do list. It keeps them from actually moving forward in their businesses and their goals. I brought Leslie back as she is a proclaimed people pleaser. It has affected every aspect of her life, and overcoming this behavior changed it even more. 

Let’s Define People Pleasing 
“People pleasing is always being hyper-aware of social situations and relationships and how I personally influence them either positively or negatively. When you’re aware of that, always trying to be one step ahead and making sure you’re taking care of the people around you.” 

Putting peoples needs in front of your own as your default keeps you from taking care of yourself. What ends up happening is… you aren’t being taken care of! When you’re in this state you can end up feeling lost, not even knowing what you want anymore. Your focus has been on the wants of others rather than yourself. Heck, you can even lose sight of who you are. 

Leslie faced this issue throughout her life but it hit her as a reality in college. A teacher pointed out that she was unable to figure out who she was or what she wanted! She realized it stemmed from wanting other people to have a positive opinion of her. She wanted to study for a career in college to have her parents be proud. She wanted the other people around her to feel good. 

Where Does People Pleasing Come From? 
We all want to feel worthy and lovable. This can manifest in your life as people pleasing. If you are able to serve other people and give them what they might need you to feel indispensable. If you can give them what they want they will see you as valuable. This causes the value you hold in yourself to be dependent on what you can provide other people. 

Well, I have a reality check for you… 

You are valuable in the world simply because you are in the world. 

Getting To The Root Of It 
If you find that you are a people-pleasing, you have to get to the root of it all. 

Why are you doing this? 

Why are other people more important than you? 

What value do you put in yourself and your goals? 

What do you need to process in order to overcome this habit? 

Sit down with yourself and answer these questions. See what comes up in your next journaling session. Make time for yourself to see if you can figure out some of your behaviors when it comes to people pleasing. Write a list of what you want and desire from your life. See what time you can give them. 

It’s time to get self-aware and get your shit together! 

I believe you can do this and do amazing things in the world. 

You are worthy of feeling confident in your life!

You are worthy of making your dreams a reality! 

You are worth taking care of yourself. 


If you want to get clear in your business, be sure to join me on July 17th! I’ll be running a workshop for you to “Stop Struggling & Start Your Business” in Syracuse. Click the link and join me! 

Join me: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/stop-spinning-start-your-business-wise-womens-business-center-workshop-tickets-63363774756


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