Spotting Implied Meaning, Assumptions & Hidden meanings | Don't get lost in the story Trap!
Channel: Visceral Gravitas
Date: 2023-08-26

excerpt from: Powerful Questions, Wonder/Wander & Challenging assumptions | Self Coaching role play 7/15/21 Visceral Gravitas Community Zoom group https://youtu.be/fvr9stF_TGM

Community discussion forum https://www.visceralgravitas.com
Local Washington DC metro In person community & online Zoom meetings https://www.meetup.com/HealingNPDabuse

transcript: 
implicatory statements 
so every statement we make or most every statement has an implied meaning 
and if we then spot that in ourselves and others 
we can not get triggered 
we're taking the bait based on the implied innuendo underneath the words, underneath the attack 

if we can spot that consciously then we can just let it go or recognize that it's an attack and then we don't have to get all defensive 

It really shifted my thinking 
was called assumptions and presuppositions 
and I got very very good at hearing people's assumptions and presuppositions about when they open their mouths 
and that's all I need to hear 
I didn't need to hear their story 

if you get good at catching people's assumptions 
then you don't need to hear the story 
so if you have a narcissist that's love bombing you, gaslighting you 
if you can catch the Assumption at the beginning 
then you can disregard the rest 
then you don't need to have all the boundaries and all the other gimmicks 
what matters is the underlying assumptions and implicit meaning underneath the words 
that's usually at the beginning or close to the beginning of intellectual debate or an attack 

so I'd let them you know run out of gas when they tell a story and I go back and ask a question and address their assumption 
they go how'd you know to ask that and I would go look 

it looked like magic if someone was good it'd look like ...

all you had to do is connect with and hear their assumptions about what they were saying 
and just get them to think about it differently 
which they had never done 
this isn't rocket science 
this is just figure out the assumptions the presupposition that are running this person's life 
right like I need this thing 
and be like what if you didn't need that 

they go how'd you know to ask that 
Well you told me when you sat down in the first 30 seconds and then you talked you know 
everything was based on that assumption that's all I had to catch 
I didn't need to hear their story 
I didn't need to hear their story 
I didn't need to hear their story