Todd Haberkorn Presents "Italy's Drunken Rant" *Original*
Channel: Rachel Winship
Date: 2017-10-21

Recorded at Wasabicon 2017, in Jacksonville, Florida. 

Italy gets drunk on some spiked pasta sauce and just lets loose on the Axis powers.

He was really awesome, sorry for the bad quality. But I made up for it in subtitles!

Here is the script I wrote for him to read:

Alright, I’ve got a bone to pick with everyone in this room, so everyone just shut up and listen!

I’ll start with mio fratello here.

I want to know why you’re so *hiccup* angry all the time!

You’ve had Spain taking care of you your whole life with a smile and yet you’ve got the meatballs to curse at him and take him for *hiccup* granted!

He’s stayed by your side no matter how many times you crush his vital regions to wake him up! Who the hell even does that!?

Dios mio, Prussia! 

Stop telling everyone how *hiccup* “awesome” you are! Just shut up in general! Are you so insecure that you boast about your own hype just to feel like a *hiccup* man?! 

News-flash! Your milkshake is what everyone gets sick of because it’s expired!

Japan!

Learn to *hiccup* smile more often! Are you even capable of smiling? Cheer up, thing’s aren’t so bad!

And you! Germany!

We all know why you’re so uptight and why you like to yell at everyone! 
It’s because you don’t get *hiccup* laid enough!

I’ve seen what’s in the secret box in your closet! I had to go to a confessional after that nightmare!

Either go get a lady of the night or you can *hiccup* yourself!

And another thing!

Who are you calling drunk?

[Pause briefly]

You’re not drunk, I’m drunk!

*Snore*

THE END

I own nothing!