The Fresh Comrade of Soviet Union
Channel: The One True Thinker
Date: 2013-01-10

Now this is a story all about how
    My service got flipped, turned upside down
    And I'd like to take a minute just listen with compliance
    I'll tell you how I became the commander of faction called Red Alliance
     
    In Soviet Union, born and raised
    On the base where I spent most of my days
    Chilling out, trainin', bulkin' up
    And all shooting some Allies all around Europe
    When a couple Frenchies, up to no good
    Started making bases in my neighborhood
    I got in one little mission and my body got flung
    Across space and time, thank God I'm still young!
     
    I asked around and found some friends
    Of all sorts and colors, we were really a blend!       
    Some empire making fucks started coming in
    But I thought nah, I'll kill you, I'M THE BEST THAT'S EVER BEEN!
     
    I built up entire military, stayed few years
    And, for a while, citizens had nothing to fear!
    But then I got nuked, and Candide was the guard
    To sit on my throne as protector of Graveyard


The story behind this is that I was using Volkov as a character on a roleplay site. He arrived by blowing up a Chronosphere just as it went off, creating a temporal anomaly that flung him and Chitzkoi through time and to the planet it was set on. He reestablished the base, getting it under control via his electronic systems. Then some people came in attempting to take over the planet, so he put together a paramilitary faction called the Red Alliance and used the base's resources to resist them.

Then the Chronospheres destabilized from being left on so long and set off the base's nuclear warhead, killing him.

He was later revived and disguised himself as a farmer named Aleksandr to investigate what happened during the 18 years he was dead.


Thanks to Freakin' Kadoo for singing this for me.