How to Help Someone with Suicidal Thoughts: Lessons I Learned Volunteering at a Crisis Line
Channel: Jellis Vaes
Date: 02/07/2020

If there is one topic in this world that I am willing to take a risk being judged for, ridiculed, despised, or whatever, it is suicide. Even though it is not easy for me to talk about it publicly, the importance of being open about the subject burdens me.  Knowing how easy it can happen to ANYONE outweighs everything else for me. 

Whoever you are, reading this text, watching this video, you have my deepest respect. I am grateful for the chance to inform you about the bitter reality of suicide and how to help someone on the edge.  Suicide is a heavy topic. It is a confusing and complex topic. It is mystifying and mind-boggling, yet, it is real. It happens every day. But because of people like you, the statistics can also decrease.  From the bottom of my heart, thank you again for being here🧡. 
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ℹ️ I OFFER THERAPY/COACHING ℹ️

I am a therapist who practices cognitive behavioral therapy, an evidence-based therapy. 

If you struggle with one or more of the following: a lack of satisfaction with life; feelings of emptiness and sadness; feeling stuck in life; burdens you've been carrying around for some time that you can't or dare not talk about with anyone; emotions that make life difficult for you, such as insecurity, fear, sadness, etc.—I can help you. 

You can book a 35-minute consultation with me through this link, https://calendly.com/jellisvaes/35min, so I can assess what you are struggling with and what you want to work on to improve yourself or your life. If I can help you, we will continue by booking our first session; that is where the real work will start. 
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⏱️TIMESTAMPS⏱️

- Intro 00:00

Top 3 Frequently Asked Questions I Get Asked About Suicide
- Why did you feel suicidal? 9:01
- Do you feel happy today? 26:25
- Do you still think about suicide? 29:06

How to Help Someone with Suicidal Thoughts 
- The Lessons I Learned at the Suicide Hotline 30:37
- The Do's and Don'ts of Suicide Prevention
DO NOT:
• Minimize 36:45
• Inflict guilt 37:55
• Say it will be fine 39:01
DO:
• Listen with the intent to understand 40:02
• Have/show empathy 42:00
• Be non-judgmental/Positive acceptance 43:35

Conclusion on How to Help Someone with Suicidal Thoughts 45:00

❓QUESTIONS❓

It is important to ask questions that cannot merely be answered with a simple yes or no. To learn more about this and how to have more meaningful conversations, check out the video we made on the YouTube channel of The IPS Project: Three Golden Rules for More Meaningful Conversations

👉https://youtu.be/lfTpHkhM490

🚏Phase 1: Questions to better measure the acuteness
• Do you often think about suicide? If so, how much?
• Do you feel like losing control sometimes? 
• Do you have concrete plans?
• If you think about your death, does it bring tears to you?
• How fast would you want to commit suicide?
• Have you ever talked with anyone about this?
• How have the past months been for you?

🚏Phase 2: Questions to better understand their ‘why’
•  What do you seek to accomplish in suicide?
• What does suicide mean to you?
• What hurts the most in your life right now?
• How does it feel to talk about suicide?
• What is the most difficult thing you are struggling with presently?

🚏Phase 3: Questions to work towards a solution. Reason of Living
• What stop you from committing suicide?
• How come you think suicide is the only solution?
• Could it be that somewhere along the line you do not want to commit suicide?
• What would you like to see changed in your life?

✅HELPFUL RESOURCES✅

List of suicide crisis lines:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines

🎧PODCAST🎧

✔️Dr. Guy Macpherson, Ph.D. What is Psychological Trauma and How to Heal It
https://theipsproject.com/2019/08/what-is-psychological-trauma/

✔️How to Stop Self-Harm | Dr. Stephen Lewis, Ph.D. – Identification and Recovery
https://theipsproject.com/2019/06/how-to-stop-self-harm/

✔️Mark Henick – Mental Health Advocate, Coping With Suicidal Thoughts
https://theipsproject.com/2018/04/coping-with-suicidal-thoughts/

📺YOUTUBE📺

✔️Three Golden Rules for More Meaningful Conversations
https://youtu.be/lfTpHkhM490

✔️How to Find a Good Therapist and Know You Are Making Progress
https://youtu.be/Ew6m5g_yDsA

✔️Going to Therapy for the First Time? - Top 3 Reasons People Don’t go to Therapy
https://youtu.be/ZytgQJiPUMw

✔️Are You Traumatized? Discover the Signs and Symptoms of Psychological Trauma
https://youtu.be/hpeU73JgX2Q

📚BOOKS📚

• Why We Sleep
• Reasons to Stay Alive
• Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life
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🎉CONNECT WITH ME😀

WEBSITE: http://Jellisvaes.com
FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/Jellis.Vaes
INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/JellisVaes
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#ItsOkNotToBeOk #Suicideprevention