Alexander Hamilton Presents: A Potluck Invitation
Channel: Derek Crowe
Date: 2013-05-15

While you're alone in your houses
all snug and in your chairs
their lurks outside a monster 
the size of 17 baby black bears

both fantastic and terrific
and too terrible to be true 
last night it nibbled on your thoughtscicles 
and left big-ass footprints in the dew

you teeth your way through more dessert
some milk dribbles down your chin
unbeknownst to you, it's watching, waiting
smirk, blink -- smirk, blink, grin... 

lock the door behind you
and quickly grab the cat
the irony is just plain gruesome
it's on your welcome mat...

At this point the fear is crippling
the deadbolt starts to turn
you realize you left the oven on
"oh great," you think. "I won't just bleed, I'll burn."

for a second you get real meta
and ponder what lies beyond 
deciding that you'll be dead regardless
you lay there, wishing only to abscond

As it turns out we heard you
and teleported your scaredy ass outta there
into the dining room at 279 Hamilton
where you're met by a wooden, hard-back chair.

And a table full of bounty
the season's harvest, prepared by and for you
want some apples and pumpkins and cinnamon
all together in a stew?

How about a glass of wine?
Or beer or cider or gin 
all have the right ingredients
to ensure that the night is a win

so swing by our haunt on the eve of the 28th 
and dress yourself with ghastly garbs
bring a dish, a friend, or a nice bedtime story
or prepare to meet a fate worse than barb's! 

(she died)