Narcissist? Trust Your Gut Feeling: 4 Rules to Avoid Bad Relationships (Intuition Explained)
Channel: Prof. Sam Vaknin
Date: 2020-09-04

Links to academic sources at the end.

Four Rules to Avoid Bad Relationships:

1. If it feels wrong - it is wrong.

2. S/he is trying too hard? Involves too much conspicuous and ostentatious effort? It is fake.

3. Too good to be true? It is not true.

4. Verify everything: 90% of the time, people lie and 90% of the time we believe every word they say (90:90 rule or base rate fallacy).

You feel ill at ease because you are flooded with info that generates cognitive dissonance (he says one thing and behaves another) and emotional dissonance (I am so into him, I will ignore). This leads to confirmation bias.

But all the info is there (misogynist vs. narcissist vs. sadist), available to your intuition.

Philosophers have a lot to tell you about your gut feeling and whether, when, and how you should trust it.

Ariely’s studies on dishonesty https://www.psychologicalscience.org/observer/the-truth-about-lying

Neuroscience of unthinking trust https://www.pbs.org/newshour/science/how-to-keep-conspiracy-theories-from-ruining-your-thanksgiving

Everyone lies all the time https://theconversation.com/truth-is-everyone-lies-all-the-time-6749

We trust everyone all the time https://hbr.org/2009/06/rethinking-trust

Ariely’s new book about lying https://www.amazon.com/Honest-Truth-About-Dishonesty-Everyone-Especially/dp/0062183613

Everyone cheats all the time https://www.wsj.com/articles/SB10001424052702304840904577422090013997320

TED Talks on lying https://www.ted.com/playlists/222/5_talks_on_the_truth_about_lyi

Find and Buy MOST of my BOOKS and eBOOKS in my Amazon Store: https://www.amazon.com/stores/page/60F8EC8A-5812-4007-9F2C-DFA02EA713B3