"Didn't You Know" - A Visual Poem || lajennvee
Channel: Jennifer Vignali
Date: 26/04/2016

Background Music: "Promise" by CHGRIN
https://soundcloud.com/chgrin

One night in EPA, on the midnight hour...

I've always tried to be a very open person. I lay my cards out freely for anyone who wants to see them and that makes it easier for me to discard people who don't accept me since I’m then able to detect false admiration faster. 
A close friend once asked me why I'm so open if that makes me more susceptible to being hurt and I answered that it's quite the opposite - when our hearts are heavily guarded and we finally open up to someone, that someone has more power to hurt us than if we're unguarded, freely open to everyone and no one has power over anyone else. The investment of time, seeing how far a person is willing to bury themselves in to find my heart is erased when I plainly lay my heart out and see if someone accepts it as-is. 
This method has worked for me really well but, consequently, I’ve also learned that being an open person is so uncommon that it’s found to be not only unauthentic but also unworthy. Let me rephrase, if I’m freely open and unguarded and there are no barriers for someone else to climb through to find the real me, then my heart seems to lose value by being so accessible. It’s a real conundrum that I’ll make a poem/video about when I find out how to have a balance OR till I find a heart equally open as mine. I don’t know.. I’m fumbling through life like you. Here’s my lesson so far. Much Love. Ciou 😊

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CONNECT WITH ME, LET'S BE FRIENDS!

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© "Didn't You Know" - D12

Written by Jenn Vee
Self directed and self produced
Audio by Jenn Vee
Filmed by Jenn Vee
Colored and edited by Jenn Vee

"Didn't you know?
I would have given you my soul.
My love in its entirety
my heart in whole
everything I could muster inside me
all that I could create, transcend, and unfold,
all yours.
Unconditionally.
All yours,
every piece of me.
Didn't you know?

Or maybe you did know.
Maybe you saw me unfolding before you, 
unraveling pieces you couldn't recognize
you didn't know how to love these pieces
So you didn't.
You didn't know how to harness power,
how to take hold of a reign,
to pick up, envelope it, seal it, stamp it yours
so instead you left it
discarded, ripped, and shredded
But didn't you know!
Didn't you know?
I Would Have Loved You The Most. 
Those seconds of jealousy,
the fear behind your eyes,
the questions in your head
of whether we were right
You found comfort in assumption
and resolution that 'we tried' 
but don't you know -
we tried not.
Didn't you know.

Or maybe you saw that I was more willing.
All the more eager to work 
and love
and build
and maybe you felt that you couldn't love me
and you didn't know how to confess,
how to take back those pretty little words
you should have never said.

Maybe you knew
that you wouldn't love me.
But you don't know how lovable
I can be."