Narcissist's False Self HATES, FEARS Your intimacy!
Channel: Prof. Sam Vaknin
Date: 2023-09-09

NPD much like old conception of MPD unintegrated system while BPD like modern conception of DID (OSDD). Both are dissociative, post-traumatic conditions with external regulation of ego functions, affects, and moods.

WATCH Is Borderline Multiple Personality? (BPD and OSDD) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wl9RHGxS3yM

WATCH Narcissism: Multiple Personality Disorder/Dissociative Identity Disorder? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xJWwfaJPS5w

WATCH Narcissist's Multiple Personas https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yxo4gjG8GpM

Main role of compensatory False Self is to protect the True Self which is shy, fragile, and vulnerable.

True Self no longer psychodynamically active, but False Self is inertial, believes that narcissist will die without it. So, False Self is anxiolytic and aimed to prevent regression to borderline emotional dysregulation.

Like all mental constructs, False Self is self-preserving (aka resistances).

False Self regards therapy and intimacy as not only threats (hurt, pain, heartbreak, hostile takeover), but also as competition: they offer emotional self-regulation and a coherent sense of self-worth, obviating the needs for narcissistic supply and grandiosity, the False Self’s main functions. 

Cathexis in the False Self is diverted to therapist or partner and this generates envy of both outsiders and self as good object. 

Therapy and healthy (non-dependent) intimacy (friend, lover, child, parents, mentors, etc.) also push towards the emergence of a core identity to replace the False Self. This newly emerging identity feels imposed and external. It constitutes a repeated narcissistic injury (vulnerability rather than omnipotence). 

False Self fights back by inducing the twin anxieties (insecure attachment style), amplifying aggression and grandiosity, impairing reality testing via the shared fantasy, leading to paranoid and psychotic ideation thus undermining therapist or intimacy partner. Paranoia is also a form of self-supply.

WATCH Narcissism as Theatre: More on the False Self  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jdFexohftNg

WATCH Narcissist's False Narrative and False Self https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tTUsmliZl-g

WATCH Loving Gaze, Adulating Gaze: False vs. True Self  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rlBevrfwabM

Borderline’s False Self is different to the narcissist’s although it is equally grandiose and reliant on others for external regulation. 

WATCH YOU: Trapped in Fantasy Worlds of Narcissist, Borderline https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yHa1hsxglPU

WATCH Loving the Borderline in Her Fantasy https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=isDXioOEztE

WATCH Borderline Seeks Fantasy but Flees to Reality  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KxAM0Yt-a-Y

WATCH Borderline vs. Narcissist Idealization Fantasies https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=luegzfzClCY

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