Forging Success - Get off my but
Channel: AdvantEdge Joy@Work
Date: 11/03/2014

In this exercise, we're going to review your past. You might be tempted to blow this off, saying that you know what happened. You may not want to revisit your past because it really was unpleasant. Well that in itself suggests strongly that you need to have a good look at it now. Perhaps go and find your buddy or work with a coach.

This exercise is a critical component of forging success in the future. Remember we need to acknowledge, learn and adjust.

I'm going to ask you seven questions. You can write single words, short statements or entire paragraphs. This is for your review and you'll be learning from it as you do the exercise.
Let me take you through the questions first and then you get on with the exercise:
The first questions, I'm asking to imagine that a famous film director was making a movie of your life. What genre would your life movie be? Would it be a comedy, action thriller, romance, comedy, tragedy, drama, horror, or a combination?
A friend of mine told me his past couple of years had been a "tragedy'. His wife's father passed away, then her mother. Then his father. One of his other friends had been involved in a  messy divorce, whilst another had had a nasty car accident. All served to make him think of tragedy. And then, as he reflected a little more he saw this as a wake up call for himself, that life is short. So the tragedy is already transforming into a new action adventure.

Then I'll ask you "What are the major themes that keep recurring?"
Now these might be single words or phrases. For me this past few years have been about "progress". Another theme has been security and a feeling of safety as we moved into our own home (after renting for many more years than was sensible). A connected theme was feeling settled as I became assumed Singapore citizenship having chosen that Singapore is where I am staying... no more moving around the world for me.

Third question is "In the last year or two, what have you accomplished that makes you really proud of yourself?"
For me, this past two years have been especially proudful, all because my coaching clients have been getting tremendous success. They tell me of goals accomplished, dreams realized, procrastination beaten and life restored to balance. I've enjoyed celebrating with clients who got a double promotion, an unexpected bonus and a decades old bad habit broken.

Fourthly, what should you have been acknowledged for but weren't?
So much of your efforts aren't acknowledged by others. Perhaps your boss doesn't recognize your talents, yet promotes someone less capable. Or a spouse who takes you for granted. Perhaps your friends never bother to contact you and ask you out for dinner... it's always the other way round. Or nobody seems to notice that you do a full time job, come home to do another full time job cleaning, cooking, kids homework, preparing, planning, working, working, working.

Fifth, what do you regret about the last few years of your life? What are you disappointed about?
We all set ourselves high expectations and some things we hoped to achieve just didn't happen. Perhaps it was the economy, or someone else who got that job that was supposed to be a sure thing. Perhaps it was too much of a stretch then. It's good to list these out as it's the next step in completing them.

Sixthly, was anything in particular missing form the past few years as you look back again?
More often than not I hear from my coaching clients that they really would like better balance in their life. More time with the family, or get back to keeping fit, enjoying sport or books you would like to have read. These are things missing, go ahead and write them down.

Lastly, what are the major life lessons you have learned in the past few years?
Let's now distil these down into short, pithy sentences. For example, one of my lessons in recent years was "people don't need a sage on the stage, they need a guide on the side". It served me well to focus my business to individual coaching rather than the mass conferences and workshops I was doing before. Another has been about planning and my own todo list which is always pretty vast, but I used to try and plan everything and then do it, my life lesson was "focus on the end and do the very next action." That's worked brilliantly for me. Now I look at my todo list and don't get that massive overwhelm and get disheartened.

Now, over to you. Start the exercise and steadily answer all seven questions. Take as much time as you need. As you go though the exercise, you'll process not only intellectually, but emotionally as well. And this is important, if we are to put the past behind where it belongs you will not be stuck in the past, so that you can turn to the future.