Brene Brown It's so much EASIER to OFFLOAD PAIN and stay ARMORED UP hiding behind words & rules
Channel: Visceral Gravitas
Date: 21/04/2022

sourced from https://youtu.be/NsreWfKwIhc

transcript: 
when tim asked me that question 
i wanted to like hit him over the head with a topochica bottle 
you know what was going on there 
you know what was going on there 
because it is so much easier to offload pain than to feel pain 
than to feel pain 
than to feel pain 
when tim asked me that question 
i wanted to like hit him over the head with a topochica bottle 
what do you say to the people you meet who are on the third marriage, their kids don't talk to them and 
there are certain things that they have convinced themselves subconsciously 
or otherwise maybe through an abusive upbringing or trauma whatever 
it might be that it is unsafe to feel certain things right 
they do not want someone to drag them into the deep waters of emotions that they've kept under lock and key 
for so long i buy it 
like i get it and yet what do i do because i've been 
i've had on this armor for so long 

i'm a researcher and so i'm not a therapist 
like i don't see clients 
and if the water is super deep and swift 
you need to go through that with a therapist 
you need to go through that with a therapist 
and get that that that settled before we work in the organizational way 
i would say that it's not serving anymore and now the weight of the armor is too heavy and it's not protecting you 
it's keeping you from being seen and known by others 
it's not protecting you it's keeping you from being seen and known by others 
there was my response 
which i was like screw you bring it through you bring it 
through you bring it can you 
do you think you can best me 
and then it was just one nightmare situation after another 
until you know you're not gonna win that fight right 
because it is so much easier to offload pain than to feel pain 
offload pain than to feel pain 
i think you can't replace the armor with something 
i think it's curiosity is what you replace it 
you just become very curious about yourself about the world 
why did i react that way when tim asked me that question 
i wanted to like hit him over the head with a topochica bottle 
you know what was going on there 
you know what i mean like what is my obsession about this 
you just become very curious 
is curiosity is really the superpower because it keeps us learning 
it keeps us asking questions and increases our self-awareness 
there's trauma for all of us 
it's just different levels of trauma yeah you know 
i mean to escape childhood with nothing is 
i haven't met that person yet 
no i haven't either right 
so literally the trauma message in our body is you take this armor off we die 
you take this armor off we die 
so you protect us at all costs and leave this on 
a lot of that work has to be done with a therapist 
you take this armor off we die 
screw you bring it 
a lot of that work has to be done with a therapist 
because it is so much easier to offload pain than to feel pain 
you need to go through that with a therapist