Narcissist’s Karma: Fantasy and 2 Strategies (Antisocial-defiant vs. Conforming Pseudo-normal)
Channel: Prof. Sam Vaknin
Date: 2023-11-26

In his childhood, the “love” of the narcissist’s mother (or, later in life, father) was conditioned on his/her performance. 

In intimate setting, the narcissist’s partners are substitute mothers (maternal figures).

To gain their love, to be rendered lovable, the narcissist feels compelled to perform.

Hence the performative shared fantasy.

Grandiosity gap creates frustration-aggression which is the aim of the shared fantasy as it leads to separation-individuation. 

Narcissists: arrested stunted development, age-inappropriateness

Compensatory strategies: antisocial-defiant vs. conforming pseudo-normalcy

Childhood: mimicry, identity formation, separation-individuation (both strategies combined in secure base)

Adolescence: peers, role models, overt rebellion=conformity

Adulthood: life plan, goal attainment, shared fantasy (in lieu of object relations)

Middle age: diffuse mortification, rebellion, anxiety/panic, regression (“midlife crisis”), shared fantasy, impaired mate selection

Senescence (old age): consequences (social isolation, ostracism, incarceration, indigence)

Find and Buy MOST of my BOOKS and eBOOKS in my Amazon Store: https://www.amazon.com/stores/page/60F8EC8A-5812-4007-9F2C-DFA02EA713B3