Doo-doo Residue Dude
Channel: John Sakars
Date: 2021-07-24

When I walk with dogs, I can hear my friend's word,
from a story she told that is quite absurd. 
The word is "residue." If it's never said to me, 
by an angry neighbour, I will be happy. 

One day, my friend took a dog for a walk, 
around her lovely neighbourhood block. 
The dog defecated on a lawn. 
I swear this song gets interesting, before you yawn. 

My friend picked up the shit and put it in a bag.
She's considerate like that. I don't mean to brag. 
Well, that wasn't good enough for a certain bloke.
This is what happened. This is not a joke. 

Through his front door he flew, 
and he yelled, "There is still some residue."
I guess even one molecule of shit is enough, 
to make this privileged man feel justified in acting tough.

Doo-doo residue dude

Imagine being so much of a snowflake, 
that any trace of doo-doo makes your heart break. 
Watcha gonna do, get a magnifying glass? 
Search for particles from a dog's ass? 

Do dog walkers need to bring a crime scene cleanup crew? 
How thorough of a cleanup is good enough for you? 
If the existence of shit is so hard on your heart,
maybe fly to Mars and make a fresh start. 

To my friend's neighbour, if this happens again. 
And you know that it will. Just a matter of when. 
Take a deep breath and try to calm down. 
Dog shit residue outside needn't make you frown. 

Please do not harass people going for a walk. 
That's right, dogs are people too. At this, don't balk.  
Also, rewild your lawn. Grow dandelions for bees. 
Bees poo, but who cares? Please, be at ease.  

Doo-doo residue dude
Please don't be a doo-doo residue dude
Doo-doo residue dude
Never be a doo-doo residue dude