r/tifu By Missing a Wedding by Masturbating (NSFW I Guess)
Channel: One Life
Date: 2020-01-26

Check out this funny reddit post from r/tifu, this guy wanked so hard he actually had to miss a wedding. OMG!!! Don't forget to sub to the channel for more funny stories like this one.

Obligatory this happened a few years back

Imagine the most romantic wedding: A beautiful warm summer day, a large and festive white tent, a string quartet, a befriended priests holding the ceremony for the couple from different countries, with guests from all over the world who use the wedding as a nice getaway to a Northern-ish country.

Then imagine my dumbass. Half an hour before my family and I had to get off to drive to the ceremony, I decided to be a good boy and shower, so my hair looks nice and soft. After shampooing and rinsing I decided that a little solo fun couldn't hurt (god I was wrong). But, you know, with water being a terrible lubricant and me not having any imagery but the one in my head available, things took some time and departure was approaching. I still needed to get dressed, and as I didn't want to leave for the wedding with blue balls, I started manhandling my meat a little more furiously. Much more furiously. Finally, arrival came and I finished. And by God, I was finished. Just as I was feeling the sweet release of orgasming, another feeling hit me. And it hit me good. I felt like my head was exploding, the worst headache I've experienced to this day. Like a vein in my brain had exploded. Without being able to see really, I managed to turn the shower of, sry myself and put on some underwear. The pain only got worse, so I stumbled outside to lay down on a lounger in the garden of the house we were staying at. My mother came out side, concerned, asking what was wrong while implying we had to leave. "Headache", I moaned with my eyes closed. She seemed to understand it was bad, so she suggested we wait five more minutes before leaving to see if I was better.

Five minutes, which felt like an eternity, passed and off course I wasn't better. My family in the end decided to leave without me, so I missed the wedding and stayed where I was. I did manage to make it to the reception later, as the pain had left after sleeping for a bit.

tl;dr: Missed a wedding because masturbating too hard gave me the worst headache of my life.