Victim of Abuse: Rescue Me NOT! Back Off!
Channel: Prof. Sam Vaknin
Date: 2022-09-14

Some victims of narcissistic abuse don’t want your help, resent you for offering it, the shared fantasy is their refuge, too. They dread loneliness.

BPD God fantasy: I am the perfect intimate partner, beautiful, irresistible, fascinating. 

There are six common fallacies of victims of abuse:

1. His abuse is actually a sign of love and commitment

2. HE DEFINES WHO I AM (HE MADE ME)

3. I AM LUCKY

I am worthless, damaged goods. I am lucky to have found even my abuser. If I leave the relationship, who else would want me and where will I find another partner?

4. THE BEST OF ALL WORLDS

Life is harsh and it doesn't get much better than this. The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence, but that is merely as an optical illusion. This is as good as it gets.

5. MY PARTNER IS NOT WORSE THAN OTHERS

Every other partner I may find will have flaws and quirks that I will have to get used to and accommodate all over again. Better stick with what I know. No one guarantees that my next partner will not be even worse than this.

6. HAPPINESS? BAH!

Life is a serious business. It is not about the selfish pursuit of elusive "happiness". It is about meeting your obligations and getting on with it. At best one can expect companionship and mutual support in old age. Anything more than that is self-defeating and destructive wishful thinking.

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