CoNVax – The First Blood Clot-Free Vaccine on the Market (Satire)
Channel: Daily Insight
Date: 12/05/2021

Welcome to CoNVax – the first blood clot-free vaccine on the market. At CoNVax, we believe in Medical Honesty. We believe in it so much that we’re the first large pharmaceutical company to score over 80% on the Pandered and Sores Medical Honesty Index. We came in at a massive 83% Medical Honesty score. That means that 83% of our data is based on actual facts, the highest in the industry. For comparison, our largest competitor, Pfeezer, only came in at 78%; Johansson & Johanson 63%; AstroXonica 47%; and only 23% of SiloFarm’s data is based on actual verifiable fact. What does this tell us? CoNVax is Honesty. In the name of honesty, we will be fully publishing our clinical trial results. In our initial group of 67 trial recipients, all of which were chimpanzees who volunteered their time, only six died. That's a 91% survival rate! Three of the chimps died from underlying health conditions; Two died from heart failure; and one died from misadventure. None of these deaths were attributed to the CoNVax vaccine. But the most important thing we found in this trial study was that not even one of the chimpanzees that survived died of blood clots. And that’s 100% verifiable fact. Either way, you can be rest assured that CoNVax is Safe.

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