Dashel Millihart LIVE at MINSTREL CrAMP 2014
Channel: Dashel Milligan
Date: 10/09/2014

Alive and well at MINSTREL CrAMP at the 2014 Burning Man event.  This is as good as I get on video--a perfect venue, a perfect audience, and I am in my pyjamas.

OK.  I am going to have to tell the truth about this.  This is not a video of me.  Unfortunately for the expectations I succored you into (sic), this particular video was actually not filmed at Burning Man either.  It was filmed at the exact same time, but in a parallel universe.  The person holding the camera is me.

In this alternate plane of time, Allmost the Court Jester has murdered me and assumed my identity just before the event.  Mind you, Allmost the Court Jester is actually me, as well.  He is a third version of me who also happened upon this parallel universe which is identical to our own except for the fact that a Dashel from any universe can come and go into and out of it (respectively) as he pleases.  It is a universe full of all of the Dashels who have realized that we have our own personal alternate universe to discover.

As it turns out, very few other universes have such Dashels as Allmost and myself, who have long exploited this "Dashelverse" as experimental ground for extreme speculation.  In fact, Allmost is the only other extra-universal Dashel I have encountered.  I believe there are a few who stick to the shadows.  We traveling Dashels appear to be on the vanguard of Dashelism.  Allmost figured that out immediately.  As is the case with every person, I have the potential to be corrupted by power and Allmost's brazen claims in this video are exceptional proof that he is no exception.  Do not believe his blue eyes, Allmost has not written a single song, preferring to tout a pouty attitude of resentful give-it-up-ness.

Having alienated loved ones and burned bridges in his own universe, Allmost came to the mutual parallel site depicted in this video permanently in 2007 when he failed to attend the correct New Year's Eve party and did not meet his soul-mate, Airy Fairy.  Seeing the entirely innocent Dashel from the Dashelverse find success and inspiration in her spirit, Allmost became sickened with love and desired most (above all) to prove how empty and shallow he believed love to be, by acting in every way like a real, loving Dashel, but not really meaning it.  He sought to prove once, and for all, that there is no such thing as true love and that he needn't but act like someone in true love to garner the same experience.  He is a cynical and unkempt Dashel, a dastardly and evil Dashel.

However, he is a brilliant mastermind who, like most Dashels, has studied crime investigation and lock-picking.  Most Dashels only speculate on how to get away with murder, but Allmost created the perfect crime: he got a clean slate in life, he hid the body impeccably (It's pigs or the swamp for sure), and he is not missing for there to be a murder to investigate!  Most diabolical is the fact that he is able to speak about it openly without being taken seriously.  I have to hand it to him, no murderer has ever had the luxury of his ridiculous boastfulness.  Careful as ever, he hides his laughter under a sheen of false-humility, playing it off like he's just making it up.  He actually did sit down and deface the cover of every copy of our 2013 album, Free Range Folk Rock to read "Allmost the Court Jester."  Why, he even drew moustaches on some of them.

Frankly, I wish I had thought of it before me!  Of course, I did not.  The Dashel I have chosen to be in this life is the greatest and best Dashel I can ever be.  Why would I want to murder my doppleganger and live out my life in a parallel dimension?

Luckily, you (if you are reading this) probably do not live in the universe where I was done away with.  Lucky for me I got to visit and return safely with a video that any military intelligence agency worth its salt could fabricate out of thin air anyways.  With no proof that it is me except your own lying eyes, it might interest you that there is no proof it is not me, either.  Witnesses are just people saying words and, in the Platinum Era, any video can be faked.  For those reasons, you had better presume this is not me.  However, for pragmatic purposes, I will likely be the only source for further footage, so you might as well go on pretending it's me...that is, if you're into me.  I'm into me, too.

This video is licensed free under Creative Commons with attribution.