Hoovered by Narcissist? Now What?
Channel: Prof. Sam Vaknin
Date: 2024-03-29

Hoovering involves re-idealization of a persecutory object (or of an object re-idealized with successive partners) within a resumption of a disrupted shared fantasy. It is an attempt to establish object constancy based on introject constancy at the exact point of the breakup. Time stands still (dissociation and confabulation). The object is frozen in time. 

Hoovering shared fantasy unstable because it has lost its raison d’etre: separation (accomplished in the discard phase). It revolves, therefore, around individuation which, in the narcissist’s case is antisocial (defiance, contumaciousness, recklessness, etc.) and self-defeating or self-destructive.

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