Betonhölle
Channel: Nuclear Jurisdiction
Date: 2024-03-03

Reverberating echoes of the falling structures fill the void with their agony. Distant concrete forms collapse, slamming against the grey pavement with all their might. Silence fills the rest of the space as the moments of evanescent chaos subside. Ringing quiet envelops my thoughts once again. For a brief moment, I felt grateful for this sudden disruption. Anything is better than an eternity filled with nothing but austere pre-cast stone and endless, tasteless rain.

I raised my head and looked up at the deeply blackened sky: no light would dare to sneak through a dense mass of rainclouds, would it? One question remains: what could have caused this sudden collapse? In all the forgotten years I've spent in this hell, I've never seen a movement caused by anything other than me and the rain.

Come to think of it, how much time have I already lost lurking cluelessly among these concrete coffins? If I were corporeal, my tired body would've collapsed from hunger or boredom a dozen years ago. There is nothing of sustenance in this hypercube of hell, except for the moss that grows in abundance in the creaks and cracks of the concrete. Life finds its way, it seems, even in the harshest of places. I drew inspiration from all the greenery I could see to summon up the courage to continue.

Before I could take a step, a truly rare sight stunned my ghostly self: a speck of color! Small rays of light began to section the heavy clouds. Their mere presence was enough to make me feel something other than ennui and a desire to end myself. The soft light gradually turned into an azure blue sky, a gust of cold wind escaping from its maw. A cold touch of heaven formed crystals, dropping a blizzard on my prison. I was standing quite close to the battle of the unseen forces, so I could clearly see the rain droplets freezing and forming an icy mist that began to permeate everything in the vicinity.

My soul began to smile and cry at the same time, a vision of such beauty was the cause of these forgotten emotions. I spotted the nearest entrance to one of the stone monoliths. Its roof was high enough for me.
I climbed the blocky stairs until I spotted some snowflakes flying through the stairwell. Inspired, I quickened my pace and approached the roof. The density of the snow increased exponentially as I climbed, but it was no problem for me, except for when it was: a door leading to the top of the building was blocked. My hands dug into the body of snow, trying to weaken it, but the snow was stronger: sharp pain made my fingers stop what they were doing. It wasn't the fear of the pain that made me stop, but a surprise. I had simply forgotten what pain felt like. And it felt good. In fact, I was happy. I felt alive. This feeling alone was enough for me to continue.

In the end, the blockade didn't stand a chance against me. Stepping outside, my eyes immediately went up. A whirlwind of color assaulted my senses. My lifeless body was set ablaze by the pain and the beauty of the sky above. I felt my feet leave the ground as if something was pulling me into its vast, bright blue abyss. The sky claimed its territory by forming a massive portal between the clouds, exposing only a small fragment of its magnificence.

My physical self was manifesting through pain and stress, I was no longer just a flimsy ghost. The feeling of exhilaration gave way to a new fear - a fear of physical death. What had once been a wish to be fulfilled - had become a grotesque possibility. I clenched my teeth, my eyes watering from the pain I was enduring, and yet I never stopped looking. Looking at the dancing stars that shone so brightly; looking at the magnificent northern lights that shimmered with their greens, reds, and blues; looking at the moon that was partially obscured by the darkness. I longed to join their company, to find comfort in the moonlight and the starlight, to be absolved of all my sins...

And yet I closed my eyes. The pain and the possibility of an absolute death frightened me. The stars felt my fear, so they stopped lifting me up and returned me to the forces of gravity, which took hold of my almost unconscious body, pulling me back into the concrete hell. The pain stopped and so did the fear. I became incorporeal, merging with the hell that I was trying to escape.

I felt ashamed. My lack of experience, and my pain threshold were simply too low to win. And so, I chose to give up. For now, that is. Deep inside I knew, this was not the end. If a miracle happened once, it is bound to happen again, and again, and again.

Roaring wind stitched the clouds together, filling the emptiness caused by the heavenly intrusion. My back landed on the melting surface of the snow. Here I was lying again on a nameless street of an unknown city. As the darkness envelops my form, obscuring any trace of the diaphanous glow above, my heart remains resolute. My mind will remain pure and hopeful. Next time I will run six times faster.