Trisha Roselle: Learning to Love Your (Less-Than-Perfect) Self (1 John 3:20)
Channel: King of Kings Worship Center
Date: 18/03/2021

Trisha Roselle: Learning to Love Your (Less-Than-Perfect) Self (1 John 3:20)
Trisha Roselle and her husband Peter co-founded King of Kings Worship Center in Basking Ridge, NJ in 1999. On March 9, 2021, she taught part 2 of an eight-week course on the topic of Deliverance. 1 John 3:20 in the Voice translation says, “Even though our inner thoughts may condemn us with storms of guilt and constant reminders of our failures, we can know in our hearts that in His presence God Himself is greater than any accusation.”

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Children can perceive things that are incorrect. Like for example, the parents could have been having a fight and the child thinks, "It is my fault that they fought." In reality it had nothing to do with the child. We've seen that in counseling so often where the person mis-read the situation. How many times have we perceived something that we thought people were talking about us?  Or we thought people were looking at us in a funny way. You're thinking, "I know they don't like me. I can see the way they looked at me, they're looking at me with a dirty look." Meanwhile, they are squinting because they can’t see something.

Rejection causes emotional wounds. If it's not cleansed and released, if we don't address it, we'll grow into something that God didn't create. We'll have an emotion, we'll have a personality that's not who we are. These spiritual wounds can open us up to spirits of rejection that need deliverance. It's such a shame that the church at large has denied this. The goal of the enemy is to cause us to, to live with emotional baggage. The bible says Jesus came to set the captives free then he came to set us free. Amen?

Rejection produces lots of bad fruit. A parent could be disappointed in the baby's sex. My mother was good to me, but she wanted me to be a boy. On my birthday, she would say, "You know, I was so upset when you were born.” She told the doctor he can have me because I wasn't a boy. Then she said, "But when your father saw you, he loved you. He said you were a beautiful baby so we can keep you." 

I know my mom loved me but as a kid growing up hearing this for my birthday each year, how do you think it made me feel? I didn't feel real good about myself. I would get really angry about that and felt so rejected. I felt bad that my father didn't have a boy. So I tried to be that boy. I tried to be mechanical.  Let me just say this – I don’t mean to put anybody down. People are trying to do the best that they can.

You can see how alcoholism in the home could cause a child to feel rejected. When a child lives in poverty they can receive cruel treatment from other children in school because they don't have the latest clothes or a cell phone. They're really embarrassed by that, right? That can create a tendency in them to reject others. They think, “I will reject others before they reject me.” It is done as a protective step, but God is saying, "No this isn't how I created my people. I want you to have joy. I want you to have relationship with people. I want you to interact with people." But rejection causes us to always wonder, "Will they like me?" That can lead us to try to earn love by performing well. I was the poster child for what we call “performance orientation,” which is believing the lie that I will only be loved and accepted if I perform well. That is a trap. Trying to earn love by performing leads to disappointment because you cannot live up to that standard.

I struggled so much with this. I was so embarrassed to invite people to my house. If they said they could not come I interpreted that as rejection. I couldn't even ask babysitters to watch my children because if they said no, I took it as a criticism of me. 
[Husband] "You have come a long way baby!"
[Trisha] "I have come a long way, baby!"

One time I was trying to make everything so perfect. I stuffed everything in this one closet and while we were having dinner I hear, in the closet, “ba ba ba ba ba ba boom!” And everything that is stuffed in the closet came out of the closet. The door came flying open. And I'm like, "Oh Jesus." The Lord's like, "Girl you're going to get free from this thing." 

I was asked to preach and asked my husband, "Was it okay?" But there was no right answer for him. If he said it wasn't, he was in trouble for criticizing me. If he said it was okay, he still got in trouble because I didn't believe him. Rejection creates havoc and strife in the home.