Kill Study | Contract Wars | Shotgun Edition
Channel: Declan B
Date: 2015-02-17

From a 16:51 video, I created this six-and-a-half minute video. It's a total turn-around from what I used to make -- this is compact and not sparing in quality. I gave this video everything I can. 

The struggle was real.

"The script": Before today, the world had not seen the my near-absolute suckage with shotguns. But now, with a little help from this wall, I will bring to light the brutality with which I miss my targets. 

Let's review. As you saw, it took four shots to not actually kill that gun-totting, pipe-cover-seeking jerkface. 
The first shot went cleanly into the doorframe. Harming nothing, but non-existing hinges. The second shot missed by about 83.7%. We will disregard the third shot as being pure chance and only hitting him fully in the chest because he got in the way. 
In just a second you will see that I have successfully not killed the moldy lemon, but for good measure, I decided to wreck him. 

Let's review the next failure. For this one, you will see that I spent too much time examining the side of this blue dumpster. By the time I was able to look at this sunglass-wearing leg-walker, he had shot me. The remedy for this problem would be to not examine the dumpsters – no matter how interesting they are. A simpler way of remembering this would be to remember that you should aim your shotgun at where people will be, not at walls or dumpsters. 

For no particular reason, things started working after this point for about a minute. But because this isn't a study of why my shotgun suddenly started killing people: I will fast forward. 

And it was at this point that my shotgun returned to it's state of missage. But I guess it's not really my shotguns fault. 

It's quite obviously the fault of the air in between me and those gray, shoe-wearing janitorial face-washers. 

 

 To aid with this study, I am going to cover some strategies relating to the use of shotguns. 
The first strategy I will look at will be the strategy of not actually using your shotgun. This strategy involves switching to whatever other gun you might have, and actually killing someone with that. Look at how effective it can be.

One strategy I have not found helpful, is the strategy of not checking for mold-colored-sentient-floorboards before reloading where they might be watching. 

Mild entertainment. 

Finally, to illustrate my point that switching to your secondary is often more effective than the muffin your eating, you can watch this fast-forwarded clip of me WRECKING the noodle-despensor-weilding, pan-handles. 

Let's review my final strategy. It consists of popping around the corner, aiming at the grass-stomping, body-hair-loving, Sasquatch's head, and pulling the trigger.  
You would think this is a pretty sound strategy, but it's not. 
Let's watch the cluster of Sasquatch-shot go around his hairy head.

For my last strategy, I will let this clip play through and have you try to figure it out. (Never fear, I will of course tell you the strategy later.) I haven't reached the strategy part yet, so this whole thing has pretty much just been a stall for the slo-mo. 

In conclusion, my level of suckation with shotguns is because I don't use them, I reload in the worst places, and I can't get head shots. But baby, give me anything else, and I'll wreck the buck-shot out of them.