"Eat the Earth" from Stephen Gashler's A KRAMPUS KAROL (2022 Cast)
Channel: The Gashler Family
Date: 2023-02-09

Starring Michael Mehner as Giovanni.

Find upcoming performances of A KRAMPUS KAROL at http://greathall.live.

Lyrics:

I WISH I COULD EAT THE EARTH,
BUT I ONLY HAVE SO MUCH GIRTH.
LET ME DESTRUCT
IT ALL FOR MY TONGUE.
LET ME CORRUPT MY HEALTH WHILE I'M YOUNG.

EACH SWEET BUTTERBALL I INGEST
ADDS LAYERS OF MASS TO MY CHEST.
WITH EACH CAVITY,
THE ROUNDER I APPEAR,
THE MORE GRAVITY
TILL I'M ONE WITH THE SPHERES.

WOULD MY TUMMY WERE SO GREAT,
I COULD EAT UNTIL IT'S LATE.
NO HIGH CALORIC TOUCH
COULD EVER BE TOO MUCH.

IF IT CRAWLS OR IF IT FLIES,
SERVE IT UP WITH BATTERED FRIES,
SPARE NO CHOLESTEROL
TILL MY ARTERIES ARE FULL.

CHOC'LATE WITH SWEET CAFFEINE,
CHEESE DRIPPING WITH MORPHINE,
SPARE ME NO DRUG.
FOR A FEW SPECIAL YEARS,
LET ME INDULGE
BEFORE CANCER APPEARS.

GIVE ME FRUCTOSE, GIVE ME STARCH,
PYROPHOSPHATE. MAKE IT LARGE.
HYDROGENATED OIL,
YELLOW FORTY WRAPPED IN FOIL.

FRY IT ALL UNTIL IT'S CHARRED
WITH AN EXTRA SCOOP OF LARD.
PLEASE HOLD NOTHING BACK
UNTIL MY HEART ATTACK.