Outgrow Your Social Circle Today
Channel: Charles Botensten
Date: 2018-11-15

Here's the thing about life: you're going to keep outgrowing people and continue on your path, as they continue on theirs. Be it the girl who was your classmate since 6th Grade, or your gym buddy who you've known for two years - people drift apart at some point in their lives as they evolve. Should the hold you back from pursuing what you want in life? Do you have to comply with your current friend's outlook and do what they expect you to do? 

When I started on my personal development journey several years ago, I had my fair share of naysayers who thought I couldn't do it. Who subtly mocked me for the things I was trying to do. And for the person I wanted to be. Most of those people don't happen to be a part of my life anymore. An important lesson I learnt from all this process, was that it's perfectly OK, in fact healthy, to outgrow your social circle. 


Ay any point in your little, it's important to make sure that you're just associating with the right people. The people who seem to be a healthy and positive influence in your life. I also believe in discarding away negativity from your life - regardless of what shape or form it exists in. The negative people, the negative environments, negative news - you become the negativity you ingest. If you're looking to evolve as a person and groom yourself, it's important to stay focused on the positive and avoid the negative. It's also important to remember that you can't change everyone. You can make everyone align with your views. They have their own story, and you have yours. In fact, even the dearest people in your life - you'll always have some disagreements with  

Nobody throws away another person. Some people just move faster, and those that get left behind consider themselves rejected. This is one of the most crucial lessons I've learnt in my life. But the upside, has been how natural the whole process of outgrowing your social circle is. Fact is, and this might be a sad realization for many - that's it is inevitably going to happen at some point. And there's nothing you can do about it. Of course, this doesn't mean you'll outgrow every person you've ever associated with. But barring a few people who will stick with you till the end - you're going to eventually drift apart from everyone.  

If you're a person with ambitions, someone with your own perspective on life - you'll inevitably clash with other people and their outlook. It's natural. And it's ok. Your friends move on with their lives. Have their own priorities. Get married, have kids. They don't have the time to align themselves with you. They have their own duties and responsibilities, and you have your own. This is nothing to take personally. It's the process of life. But what's important to maintain during this process, is your own integrity.


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Charles Botensten lives & works in New York City as the founder of a residential real estate agency. 
Passions: cycling, hockey, and personal development.