Virtual Christmas
Channel: someguycalleddoug
Date: 2020-12-20

Virtual Christmas, virtual tree
Virtual visits with your family
There’s no way to be there physically
We’re socially distanced this year
Virtual shopping, Santa dot com
No more rushing hither and yon
Where would we be without Amazon
God rest you merry gentlemen let nothing you dismay
With Next Day Air your presents should arrive by Christmas day
If not the means of tracing them is just a click away
‘Cause it’s a hunkering Christmas this year


He’s making that list, he’s checkin’ it twice
He knows if your screen name’s naughty or nice
Delete all those bookmarks…that’s my advice
You need a drama-free Christmas this year
This Christmas we hunker, and all through the house
Not a creature is stirring…except for the mouse
The glow of the screens should dispel any doubts
Jingle bells, no Noel’s ever been like this
‘Cause it’s a COVID Christmas this year


Won’t need to travel. That suits me fine
We’ll get the whole family together online
Happily tapping out Old Lang Syne
We’re chattin’ and Zoomin’ this year
Of course there’s a downside…when put to the test
The video streams were jerky, at best
Though great uncle Albert was duly impressed
We streamed our Christmas at internet speed
Our lockdown lives truly enriched
It warmed our hearts, affirmed our love
That is... ‘til the internet glitched

Oh, Christmas tree
E, Christmas tree
E you were never meant to be