How Narcissist Snapshots YOU as Bad Object (Starts 03:56)
Channel: Prof. Sam Vaknin
Date: 2021-01-28

Starts 03:56. The narcissism of the schizoid-narcissist predisposes him to experience all external objects as bad. He forces all objects - even good ones - to actually become bad objects by infantilizing himself (and so frustrating them) and by abusing them. Consequently, he spends most of his life reacting to these manufactured bad objects with a depressed-angry state followed by a schizoid-avoidant one.

The schizoid-narcissist transforms every external good object (e.g., intimate, loving partner) into an internal bad object (the only kind he know) by frustrating her (child) and hurting her (abuse) within a shared fantasy. When, inevitably, she ends up hurting the narcissist cruelly and egregiously, he reacts with a short period (up to 1 year) of anger-depression (aggression) followed by years in a schizoid state (withdrawal, avoidance, indifference, sexlessness).

The schizoid-narcissist reacts with depression-anger and schizoid-withdrawal states to external bad objects - real or manufactured - and to the mortification that they produce, actual or anticipated.

The long sexless stretches in his relationships are artefacts of the reactive schizoid state, not a primary feature of his psychosexuality (which is autoerotic, kinky, or even sadistic). 

Depression is aggression towards the bad external object directed inward for fear of destroying the desired and exciting - though frustrating - external object.

The Schizoid state is self-defense: it protects the grandiose self-perception and prevents the narcissist from being consumed by the hunger for a rejecting object (Fairbairn: or from consuming the external object).

Good objects in safe relationships are internalized as memories, not as objects (Bion and Fairbairn differ from Klein). 

The Narcissist snapshots sources of supply (converts them to internal objects) owing to his abandonment anxiety and anticipated injury or mortification.

The partner is perceived as a bad, threatening external object and needs to be internalized in order to possess, neutralize, and control the threat.

The narcissist's object relationships are only internal (schizoid) and driven by anxiety (borderline): schizoid-borderline position.

Bad internalized objects are foreign, create dissonance and anxiety, and have to be projected.

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