Electro-Thermal Conductivity Cylindrical Proteins
Channel: DevConf
Date: 2019-02-20

In recent years, the research teams at BSS Labs have made great strides in understanding the thermal and electromagnetic properties of muscle tissue. Most of their experiments have been done on cellulose casings in the shape of truncated cylinders capped on each end by hemispheres. This casing is generally filled with a mixture of approximately 75% water, 20% protein, 2% fat, 1% carbohydrates, and 2% soluble non-protein substances. In recent years the most prevalent ways of cooking these beefy circular cylindrical capsules have been to grill, pan fry, boil, or microwave them. However, thanks to a significant archaeological discovery by one of their senior scientists, BSS Labs have rediscovered a revolutionary way to heat beefy capsules to an edible temperature. This is achieved by implanting conical iron electrodes into either end of a beefy circular cylindrical capsule and then passing an electric current through it. Through arduous and painstaking scientific experimentation, the team at BSS Labs has concluded that, of all known cooking methods, electrocution yields the most optimal cook time to taste quality ratio. Many of their senior scientists claim that what they have uncovered is a Beefy Miracle.