Use THESE 4 Steps To Set Boundaries
Channel: Lady Tina Leder
Date: 2023-04-26

0:00 The Key Principle To Social Boundaries
2:53 Core Issue Of Boundary Setting
6:19 Real Standards VS Secret Standards
9:09 Boundary "Words To Use" Framework
10:11 The "No"
10:30 The Reason
11:07 Value Emphasis
11:33 The Bow
12:03 2 Key Mistakes To AVOID
15:30 On Family Members and Close Friends

Boundary "Words To Use" Framework
1) The "No"
"Hey that's not a priority right now."
"I won't be able to [make it / do that / be there]." 

2) The Reason
"I won't be able to because [insert reason here]."
"Not [right now / at this time / this week] because [insert reason here]."
Ex. I'm focused on paying off my debt and prioritizing non essential spending towards my debt pay off.
(Share as little or as much as you'd like here. Generally, the more sensitive or relationally close to me someone is, the more I offer relevant details). 

3) Value Emphasis
"This is important to me."
"I value [insert value here]."
"I know you want what's best for me." [assigning a value to the other person]

4) The Bow
"I'm sure you understand."
"I'm sure you're with me on this."
"I'm sure you get it."
"I appreciate you asking." [if they asked for permission]

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