Small Differences, Big Hatred
Channel: Sam Vaknin
Date: 2013-04-25

Freud coined the phrase "narcissism of small differences" in a paper titled "The Taboo of Virginity" that he published in 1917. Referring to earlier work by British anthropologist Ernest Crawley, he said that we reserve our most virulent emotions -- aggression, hatred, envy -- towards those who resemble us the most. We feel threatened not by the Other with whom we have little in common -- but by the "nearly-we", who mirror and reflect us. The "nearly-he" imperils the narcissist's selfhood and challenges his uniqueness, perfection, and superiority -- the fundaments of the narcissist's sense of self-worth. It provokes in him primitive narcissistic defences and leads him to adopt desperate measures to protect, preserve, and restore his balance. I call it the Gulliver Array of Defence Mechanisms.

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