LOTR Gandalf feat. Bilbo Baggins "TheShire" Drill Remix Freestyle [Gone Wrong]
Channel: AntiHeroFX
Date: 2022-12-11

Gandalf returns to the shire.  He finds Bilbo cooking up in the crib. The wizard directly hops on this hard UK drill type beat.  In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit. Not a nasty, dirty, wet hole, filled with the
ends of worms and an oozy smell, nor yet a dry, bare, sandy hole with nothing in it to sit down
on or to eat: it was a hobbit­hole, and that means comfort.
It had a perfectly round door like a porthole, painted green, with a shiny yellow brass knob
in the exact middle. The door opened on to a tube­shaped hall like a tunnel: a very comfortable
tunnel without smoke, with panelled walls, and floors tiled and carpeted, provided with polished
chairs, and lots and lots of pegs for hats and coats ­ the hobbit was fond of visitors. The tunnel
wound on and on, going fairly but not quite straight into the side of the hill ­ The Hill, as all the
people for many miles round called it ­ and many little round doors opened out of it, first on
one side and then on another. No going upstairs for the hobbit: bedrooms, bathrooms, cellars,
pantries (lots of these), wardrobes (he had whole rooms devoted to clothes), kitchens,
dining­rooms, all were on the same floor, and indeed on the same passage. The best rooms
were all on the left­hand side (going in), for these were the only ones to have windows,
deep­set round windows looking over his garden and meadows beyond, sloping down to the
river.
This hobbit was a very well­to­do hobbit, and his name was Baggins. The Bagginses had
lived in the neighbourhood of The Hill for time out of mind, and people considered them very
respectable, not only because most of them were rich, but also because they never had any
adventures or did anything unexpected: you could tell what a Baggins would say on any
question without the bother of asking him. This is a story of how a Baggins had an adventure,
found himself doing and saying things altogether unexpected. He may have lost the
neighbours' respect, but he gained­well, you will see whether he gained anything in the end.
The mother of our particular hobbit … what is a hobbit? I suppose hobbits need some
description nowadays, since they have become rare and shy of the Big People, as they call us.
They are (or were) a little people, about half our height, and smaller than the bearded Dwarves.
Hobbits have no beards. There is little or no magic about them, except the ordinary everyday
sort which helps them to disappear quietly and quickly when large stupid folk like you and me
come blundering along, making a noise like elephants which they can hear a mile off. They are
inclined to be at in the stomach; they dress in bright colours (chiefly green and yellow); wear
no shoes, because their feet grow natural leathery soles and thick warm brown hair like the
stuff on their heads (which is curly); have long clever brown fingers, good­natured faces, and
laugh deep fruity laughs (especially after dinner, which they have twice a day when they can
get it). Now you know enough to go on with. As I was saying, the mother of this hobbit ­ of
Bilbo Baggins, that is ­ was the fabulous Belladonna Took, one of the three remarkable
daughters of the Old Took, head of the hobbits who lived across The Water, the small river that
ran at the foot of The Hill. It was often said (in other families) that long ago one of the Took
ancestors must have taken a fairy wife. That was, of course, absurd, but certainly there was
still something not entirely hobbit­like about them, ­ and once in a while members of the
Took­clan would go and have adventures. They discreetly disappeared, and the family hushed
it up; but the fact remained that the Tooks were not as respectable as the Bagginses, though
they were undoubtedly richer. Not that Belladonna Took ever had any adventures after she
became Mrs. Bungo Baggins. Bungo, that was Bilbo's father, built the most luxurious
hobbit­hole for her (and partly with her money) that was to be found either under The Hill or
over The Hill or across The Water, and there they remained to the end of their days. Still it is
probable that Bilbo, her only son, although he looked and behaved exactly like a second edition
of his solid and comfortable father, got something a bit queer in his makeup from the Took
side, something that only waited for a chance to come out. The chance never arrived, until
Bilbo Baggins was grown up, being about fifty years old or so, and living in the beautiful
hobbit­hole built by his father, which I have just described for you, until he had in fact
apparently settled down immovably.