Pawpaw and a Goat Test Positive for Coronavirus
Channel: Daily Insight
Date: 2020-07-22

A papaya, a quail, and a goat tested positive for coronavirus back in May this year in the East-African country of Tanzania, at least, according to their President John Magufuli. There have been a total of 509 confirmed cases of COVID-19 in Tanzania — 307 pieces of fruit, 193 animals, and 9 inanimate objects, one of which was the President’s left shoe. Sadly, 13 papayas have passed away, 7 goats, and the President’s left shoe — who had initially been placed on ventilation — but sadly didn’t make it. It had to be replaced with a new Nike Air Jordan. Understandably, the President’s right shoe is not taking it very well and is currently in Europe In Mourning, that is, it’s now with the melodic death metal band from Vansbro, Sweden. The World Health Organization have rejected the President’s claims stating that, “A shoe cannot catch coronavirus, nor would it require ventilation, except for the classic Reebok Pump which does require daily inflation”. In other news, “Sea gull rescued with face mask wrapped around legs”, “Coronavirus prompts Country Time to offer lemonade stand stimulus checks for kids”, and “‘Let it out’: Iceland offering coronavirus stress relief by broadcasting world’s screams”. As you’ve probably already gathered by now, only half of what I mention in this video is true, but the very fact that even half of it is true, means that we’re living in pretty strange times. By the way, the pawpaw did actually test positive to coronavirus, but whether it survived the ordeal or not is yet to be established. Tanzanian presidential insiders state that they were unable to locate the remains of the pawpaw but suspect the President of eating it. Although this news sounds far-fetched, it certainly is as accurate, if not more accurate, than the actual news. Next time I’ll be discussing the kangaroo that was arrested in Florida for not practising good social distancing. His owner is now facing charges as expected. For those of you who don’t understand these social distancing rules, the Australian Government have a great website just for that which can teach you all about it! Our tax dollars at work!

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SOURCES
Coronavirus kits slammed as ‘dirty game’ after pawpaw ‘tested positive’, https://7news.com.au/lifestyle/health-wellbeing/coronavirus-kits-slammed-as-dirty-game-after-pawpaw-tested-positive-c-1014449
Tanzania says 'faulty' WHO test kits showed coronavirus in a goat and a pawpaw, https://www.sbs.com.au/news/tanzania-says-faulty-who-test-kits-showed-coronavirus-in-a-goat-and-a-pawpaw

IMAGE RIGHTS
Nike Air Jordan, https://www.nike.com/jordan
In Mourning, https://www.progarchives.com/artist.asp?id=3807
Reebok PumpOmni, ReebokUSA / CC BY-SA (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0)

ADDITIONAL IMAGES
https://pixabay.com

OUTRO MUSIC
Fortress Europe by Dan Bodan (https://www.youtube.com/user/danbodan)

#coronavirusupdates #tanzaniacomedy #pawpaw