Pipe Down
Channel: Richard Schweitzer
Date: 2022-03-22

Events in the Society for Creative Anachronism (SCA) often center around elaborate courts.  However, as most participants aren't trained performers, it is often difficult to hear what is being said.  People chatting at the back of the hall don't help.

PIPE DOWN
by Richard Schweitzer (Master Martin Bildner), Oct 2019 

Your Excellencies gathered at the back of the hall,
I know you sat up here that time in the Fall.
Your honours and peerage made everyone cheer.
Now please hold your tongues so the front row can hear.

Chorus   Pipe Down! Pipe down! Court's underway.
                  You had time to talk through the rest of the day.
                Pipe Down! Pipe down! Pray you attend.
                 You've time to talk when the court's at an end.

The heralds are trained to silence a crowd.
Their diction is clear and their voices are loud.
Heralds are called as the voice of  the crown.
But this ain't your court, so you heralds pipe down.

Those honoured for service give of their time
But ask for two cents and they'll give you a dime
And nothing is noisier then a whole flock
You Pelicans certainly know how to squawk.

You'd think that the Laurels would silently work
But they seem to think court is time to network
you'd think they could quietly play with their string
But rather than listening, they're always blabbing.

It's hard for a child to sit still during courts;
There's nothing of interest through lengthy reports.
Now there's noise enough to drown out my livestock
As parents you should know best when not to talk.

The rest of you lot are the worst of the bunch
Still talking of classes, tournies and lunch
But most are complaining that some noisy bard
Won't give up the floor to Their Majesties guard
      (the baronial)