Paploo: First Barbarian of Steel (1993) | 30th Anniversary Ultimate Edition
Channel: SMOOKASFILM, LTD.
Date: 2023-02-09

𝗖𝗵𝗮𝗽𝘁𝗲𝗿𝘀:

 1) Opening Titles — 00:00
 2) Barbaric Introductions — 00:19
 3) Tainted Meat — 01:11
 4) No Love for Wizards — 01:46
 5) A New Brotherhood of Thieves — 03:50
 6) Use That Weapon — 05:34
 7) A Long Night's Journey — 06:54
 8) Ruction on the Road — 07:19
 9) Audience with the Evil King — 08:39
10) Bad Head — 09:27
11) Proving His Mettle — 10:38
12) Thievery at an End — 12:44
13) Good Head — 13:17
14) End Credits — 14:53

Ah, you never forget your first....We grew up on sword and sorcery movies. 𝘋𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘭𝘬𝘦𝘳, 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘉𝘢𝘳𝘣𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘢𝘯𝘴, 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘉𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘮𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳, the incomparable 𝘉𝘢𝘳𝘣𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘢𝘯 𝘘𝘶𝘦𝘦𝘯. Over the course of many moons did we progressively less jokingly talk of making a “quality B-movie” ourselves. Finally, in September 1993, we did: with nothing more than a bunch of cheap costumes (brown pants and shirts purchased from Goodwill, a black robe saved from high school graduation, Star Wars masks, a loincloth made from a bathroom rug) and props and weapons we already owned (some plastic, some actually metal—and dangerously sharp) we went out into a field across the street from a farm and committed this magic to “film” (or videotape, since we were poor college-students at the time and didn't have access to an actual film camera). We had only a simple outline of scenes and plot points, so we ad-libbed every bit of the dialogue, shooting the entire thing in a single afternoon. Clearly, 𝘊𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘉𝘢𝘳𝘣𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘢𝘯 (not so much 𝘊𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘋𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘰𝘺𝘦𝘳) would serve influentially, but the characterization in this our first attempt at filmmaking plainly owes much to two animated series, 𝘊𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘈𝘥𝘷𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘦𝘳 and 𝘛𝘩𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘢𝘳𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘉𝘢𝘳𝘣𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘢𝘯. Our barbarian character, however, had to be even coarser and less intelligent.

So we had made our “movie,” and that was that—or so it seemed for quite a while. Until 2009 the videotape containing the footage sat unwatched in a closet. A piece of abandoned work, it had never been edited. Then came the rediscovery of the brilliant improvised comedy! Yes, with editing, sound effects, and music even the biggest turd can be polished and made into a passable piece of entertainment (provided, of course, that Disney Imagineers aren't involved at any stage). For the next two years, work would be done on weekends to get the piece up to snuff. The soundtrack would be the crowning addition—music, it has been said on more than one occasion, which is far too good for what it is being used in; but the over-the-top quality of the music obviously is meant to contribute to the overblown charm of the whole thing.

Unfortunately, back in the 2009-2011 work-period we knew little about digital editing. That was our major learning experience. Now, for the 30th anniversary we've gone back and, with what we've learned since the initial reworking, gotten the piece as close as it ever will be to an actual film. The circle is now complete. The bad camerawork has been stabilized as much as possible (a tedious process of going frame-by-frame), grain has been reduced with video-noise reduction software, sound effects have been redone, and the format has been upgraded to true theatrical proportions (2.35:1).

Everyone just needs a little good head, and now everyone can get some primo head right here—smook 'em if ya got 'em, freaks!