AITA for taking back control of Thanksgiving meal planning and cooking from my husband?
Channel: Radio Stories
Date: 2022-11-21

AITA for taking back control of Thanksgiving meal planning and cooking from my husband?

I cook Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners every year for my husband, his family, and our kid and have for 16 years. I put a lot of love, planning, and effort into making it a really special day. 

This year, between work, parenting, and everything else, I’m tired and I don’t want to cook Thanksgiving. I went to him and asked if we could just go to a nice restaurant instead. To my surprise, he said he’d handle it.

However, even cooking a simple Thanksgiving meal requires forethought, like getting the frozen turkey in the fridge to defrost multiple days in advance. NOW is the time to pick up some items. I don’t know if he knows what he signed up for. 

I started asking when he was planning on doing his grocery run and what dishes he was planning to serve. He just dodged the question and said he’d handle it. He has a habit of underestimating tasks and rushing last minute.

I finally was like, “Look, why don’t we work together and start planning?” He admitted he was only going to cook a simple meal of turkey breast, mashed potatoes, and broccoli. That’s it. 

Basically, I said that’s not really a special holiday dinner and I wouldn’t have agreed to that had I know that’s what he meant. I said I’d be happy to work together and balance simple like he wants and special like I want. I suggested turkey, potatoes, packet gravy, box stuffing, pre-made mac and cheese, canned cranberry sauce, broccoli, rolls, and a store made pie.

He got really defensive and made it about him versus me, very black and white (your way or my way), his offer isn’t good enough to me, I’m just trying to get my way. When I explained no, that’s not what I mean, he insisted I did.

I cannot imagine family showing up and being served a very simple meal like that, it’s just bad holiday hosting. Maybe coordinating a potluck would be okay, but he wasn’t doing that. We already committed to hosting them.

AITA?

TL;DR husband offered to cook thanksgiving dinner for the first time instead of me, unbeknownst to me until now his offer was only to cook turkey, potatoes, and broccoli. Upon learning that, I insisted on working together to make a simple but more complete meal. He says I’m being controlling for insisting on serving more than that.

                    #reddit #AmItheAsshole #tts