The Begatting of The President: #2: The Defoilation of Eden - Orson Welles
Channel: DonQuixtote
Date: 2012-10-31

Now LBJ said, "Let us make a Voter in Our Image, that He may Glorify us and Elect us Forever."
And He had It made.
Then LBJ said, "It is not Meet that Man should Vote Alone,"
So he caused a Deep Sleep to fall upon the Man, while his eyes grew heavy with The Late Show
And He took one of the ribs from his T.V. Dinner, and from It he fashioned a Woman
And He called their names Adam and Eve
And They were both Registered Democrats. They were not ashamed.
And He gave unto them a House in a Tract which he called "Eden Estates"
And LBJ said unto Adam and Eve, "Of every Fruit of the Great Society, save One, Ye Shall Eat. But of the Fruit of Dissent, Ye Shall not Eat, for on That Day Ye shall surely Doubt. Wherefore you may not Tune the Tube under the Forbidden Channel of Fullbright, nor seek to understand the Accursed Code of Morse."
Wherefore did they gather them before the Tube, for truly that was the Light of the World
And Adam rested, beside his six-pack, and Beheld the Eternal Cowherds beset by the Feathered Tribes of Geronimo
But unto Eve, this was an abomination, and a drag
Now did Adam drift off to the Land of Nod
And there entered into Eden Estates an Intellectual, who was more subtle than any Serpent
And he said unto the Woman, "Thou mayest indeed tune unto the Forbidden Channel, and see it like it is, baby"
And Lo, she beheld a flash of light, and great speckled birds from the sky hurling great bolts of flame upon the followers of the bearded Prophet, Ho
And there was a great battle, and its name was Tet
And it was Offensive
Now when Eve beheld this, she was so afraid and she cried out, so that Adam awakened
And he said, "What manner of channel beholdest though? This scene is forbidden! And for this disobedience, LBJ shall surely smite thee."
But in her pride Eve answered, "Stupid. Thy brain hath been washed. Remove the veil from thine eyes."
Therefore did Adam look, and the scene changed to the Chambers of the Senators, and it was Fullbright who did speak like unto a Dove, "This War profiteth He not, nor doth this sucker our sons. Therefore, escalate not, lest ye be escalated"
Whereupon did the Heavens thunder, and there was a Flash of Light beginning the mighty blast of the Texas Longhorn
And Lo! The Omnipotent one appeared, surrounded by his host of cheribu
And foremost among these was the Angel Rusk, who said, "Ye shall honor your commitments before the SEATO of the mighty, all the rest of your days,"
And unto Adam and Eve Spake LBJ, "Who first seduced ye unto this Foul Revolt?"
Whereupon did Eve cry out, "The Intellectual. It was he who turned me on."
And did LBJ say unto the Intellectual, "Because Thou has done this thing, Thou art accursed. And thy Head shall be of Egg."
And unto Adam and Eve he said, "Because ya been disobedient, and harkened upon the Dissenter, a Surtax shall be layed upon Ye. Inflation shall be visited upon your heads, and your Stocks and Bonds shall be brought low."
Therefore did LBJ banish them East of Eden Estates, and they wandered in desolation, until they came to a place called Credibility Gap