Parasteatoda tepidariorum--the song.
Channel: zeppmusic
Date: 2020-06-16

I awoke one morning trying to set this spider's scientific name into Haiku' 5-7-5 format, which I did and posted to Facebook. Moreover, at a friend's suggestion to make a song from it, I set it to the melody of Meredith Wilson's 𝘎𝘢𝘳𝘺, 𝘐𝘯𝘥𝘪𝘢𝘯𝘢 from his musical 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘔𝘶𝘴𝘪𝘤 𝘔𝘢𝘯.

The usual caveats apply--I can't sing, and it's only getting worse, and as the words sorta get squeezed in, herewith my lyrics:

This song’s about a spider,
𝘗𝘢𝘳𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘰𝘥𝘢 𝘵𝘦𝘱𝘪𝘥𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘰𝘳𝘶𝘮
and the fact its name has changed.
This little cobweb spider,
𝘗𝘢𝘳𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘰𝘥𝘢 𝘵𝘦𝘱𝘪𝘥𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘰𝘳𝘶𝘮’s
Synanthropic, throughout its range
.
It’s a species found in virtually every country,
Thanks to its close association with man.
It makes its cobwebs in practically every corner
And in every other place that it possibly can.

It’s certainly not imposing,
𝘗𝘢𝘳𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘰𝘥𝘢 𝘵𝘦𝘱𝘪𝘥𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘰𝘳𝘶𝘮:
non-descript and boringly plain
No larger than a chickpea,
𝘗𝘢𝘳𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘰𝘥𝘢 𝘵𝘦𝘱𝘪𝘥𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘰𝘳𝘶𝘮’s
small but it’s always had a big name.

The binomial’s awfully long for such a small critter,
It’s hard to enunciate quickly by this old man
And while its original name of “𝘛𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘥𝘪𝘰𝘯” fits into triplets,
“𝘈𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘦𝘢” just didn’t scan.

Now the species name is
Paras𝘵𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘰𝘥𝘢 𝘵𝘦𝘱𝘪𝘥𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘰𝘳𝘶𝘮
Different, though the spider’s stayed the same,
But 𝘗. 𝘵𝘦𝘱𝘪𝘥𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘰𝘳𝘶𝘮,
𝘗𝘢𝘳𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘰𝘥𝘢 𝘵𝘦𝘱𝘪𝘥𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘰𝘳𝘶𝘮’s
a really good name (I think)
Yes, 𝘗𝘢𝘳𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘰𝘥𝘢 𝘵𝘦𝘱𝘪𝘥𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘰𝘳𝘶𝘮...
That’s a really cool name!