Narcissist’s Grim Fairy Tale
Channel: Prof. Sam Vaknin
Date: 2023-08-19

Narcissist’s shared fantasy involves regression and infantilization. It is a fairy tale for children.

WATCH Narcissist’s False Self: Primates, Perverts, Serpents, God https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kfjvYo_Dag8

Fairy take-like Fantasy is codified and structured enchantment.

Similar to dreaming, fantasy uses symbolic language and magical spells (wish fulfillment is one such spell) and is nonsensical (unreal, involves magical thinking). 

Like the fairy tales that they are, fantasies are “magic mirrors which reflect some aspects of our inner world, and of the steps required by our evolution from immaturity to maturity”.

In the narcissist’s shared fantasy, both his intimate partner and himself are nurturing mothers (dual mothership) – and both are infants. He aims to transition to adulthood via separation-individuation. 

Like the Heroes in fairy tales, like Hercules, he passes tests and accomplishes tasks assigned to him by the gods (False Self). 

The narcissist splits: he is all good. Witches and usurper kings in fairy tales are all bad, for example. 

Initially, both he and his extension are all good and the rest of the world is all bad (it is a rejection of life) but then – as his intimate partner acts in and on the world – she gets “contaminated”, she brings the world into the fantasy as a third party, and is thus rendered all bad, frustrating, and rejecting. 

The narcissist sublimates aggression via the shared fantasy by displacing it onto his intimate partner (devaluation), by acting passive-aggressively, or by fantasizing about revenge and justice restored. These are the behavioral precursors of separation-individuation.

The narrative of the fantasy includes God, Death, and Life voices 

WATCH Resist When Narcissist Triggers Your Inner Voices (Death, God, Life Introjects) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CxzWF8exZio

Death voice (bad object): You are not lovable, unworthy, inadequate, failure, better off dead. Can be loved and deserving of life only if perfect (impossible) Terrified of failure (performance anxiety), the narcissist rejects, disowns, sabotages, and avoids all aspects of life, rendering himself invulnerable by being dead within and without as a form of rigid, proud, defiant, sadistically self-punitive and self-denying ideology. S/he acts entitled and contemptuous (e.g., celibate).

He gives up on and denies his body, health, sex, romance, intimacy, all positive emotions, relationships, family, academic degrees, career, country, language, success, reputation, business, social life, fans, and friends. 
With nothing left to take, death voice is appeased and ameliorated by my proximity to actual death, its mission accomplished and it is placated, content to let the narcissist decay and decompose inertly. 

God voice: Grandiose, magical thinking, mental illness (cruel false self) eroded by reality (injuries, mortifications). 

Life voice: Creativity and cooperation are intermittent, haphazard, corroded by aging and is often too late, failing the narcissist amid cognitive decline.

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