Separating-Individuating from Borderline Partner
Channel: Prof. Sam Vaknin
Date: 2023-04-01

Mirror image of separating-individuating from the narcissist in the wake of narcissistic abuse

Engulfment anxiety and dependency cause the borderline to cast you as an abuser

Admit your contributions as an intimate partner (mate selection, for example, or savior-rescuer complex)

I am not an abuser: your authentic voice, get rid of guilt and shame

Borderlines parentify: Get rid of the maternal function in the shared fantasy

Hand over ownership, regulation

Separation: silence your voice in her mind, enhance your authentic voice

What about individuation?

Once your voice is silenced, both external regulator (“abuser”) and savior, mother and child are gone.

Authentic voice is disembodied.

Embodying.

Individuation requires mind-body work: owning your voice also by connecting it to your body.

Reconstituting three lost functions: self-mothering (self-love), self-saving (agency), choosing and affirming life (negating depression, anxiety, catastrophizing, and ANTS)

Watch Take These 4 Steps BEFORE Therapy for Narcissistic Abuse
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JAE_z8gD5-8

Watch Love Yourself: Here’s How - or, The Four Pillars of Self-love https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2vzBf9QvClo

Watch Decode, Heal Your Mind with IPAM (Intrapsychic Activation Model)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YTfpJ3RHf7g

Watch Hijacked by Narcissist’s Serpent Voice? Do THIS!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fT7pQ35LYlU

Watch Take Your Life Back, Own It
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SUggi8tRTbE

Watch Go to Your Desert, Listen to Your Inner Silence
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qOh-iOaWTt8

Watch How to Individuate, Heal from Narcissistic Abuse
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I3gmcbWsyBM

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