The Matrix of interpersonal conflict (and how it's related to conflict training)
Channel: AsafShaniConflict
Date: 04/04/2014

http://www.IwinConflict.com
In this video -- The Matrix of Conflict -- Asaf Shani speaks about one of the most fundamental processes that occurs in interpersonal conflicts and negotiations: regarding the other side as the source of the conflict, Hence the first thing every conflict activity and every conflict training should do is to enable a person to realize 'The Matrix has him'.
The Matrix of interpersonal conflicts means that we're "being trapped out of ourselves" -- our full attention is given solely to what happens in the world around us -- to what the other side to the interpersonal conflict is saying and doing. The tragedy is that we get so focused on the external reality -- the Matrix -- is that we lose connection to our own goals. Hence, all conflicts, especially interpersonal conflicts trap us. 
"Waking up" from the Matrix means understanding that conflict resolution or conflict management starts by realizing one first has to define his goals and then see how he should act in order to best achieve these goals. It sounds both logical and simple yet in 'real' life this is not an easy task. Interpersonal conflicts has an enchanting power over us -- that's why Asaf Shani is using the metaphor of the Matrix. That's also why undertaking a good conflict resolution training is recommended, in order to show a person, in his real life situations, how he has fallen into the Matrix of conflict rather than taking control over his life and managing the situation in the best possible way with accordance of his real goals.