"We've Grown Apart But Don't Want To Breakup" - How To Handle Conflict In a Relationship
Channel: Sylvester McNutt III
Date: 12/08/2020

How To Handle Conflict In a Relationship

So this direct message says, " So Sylvester, me and my lover have grown apart, but we don't wanna break up, what advice do you have for us." This is a great question because this happens all the time. People grow apart, they grow in different directions, you're so busy working here, you're in school over there, there's just so much going on. You guys don't wanna break up, but you've grown apart. 

So I actually think that's a good thing because you have a realistic viewpoint of where the relationship is at. You have a realistic assessment of what's missing, and you have a goal; you wanna be together, and you wanna grow back together. Because of that, I don't see this as a bad situation. I see this as a normal, regular situation that happens. I think sometimes the advice could be, go back to what worked. Well, I think that's true, I think there are some elements of that's true, but I think that you guys have changed and you've evolved. 

So what I think that you both should do with compassion and support of each other I think you both should go on individual journeys figuring out exactly what you want out of life, exactly what you want out of you're relationship, exactly what you're willing to give to your relationship. I think both people need to do that and introspectively on their own but in the comfort and in the support of the relationship, maybe journaling. I will recommend journaling those thoughts and then being willing to share those thoughts, like look, here's what I'm thinking, we've grown apart, there's a lot of love there, we don't wanna separate, we're not toxic, we just don't have as much passion as we would like. 

And I'm just gonna make up a random thing off the top of my head, I'm not telling you to do this, but I'm just thinking if I was in this situation. How about one of us takes a two-month trip, one month trip, you go to Europe for a month, I will travel the United States driving with my cousin, whatever, I think when you do that, when you give yourself a chance to find some of the other things you're passionate about in life, you can bring that back to your relationship. Part of the time, some people's relationships lose their passion cause they have no other passion in life. 

How do you expect to have passion in your relationship when there's nothing else outside of you that you're willing to scream about and talk about and shout about. You need to be able to come to the relationship like, "Oh man, I went on this hike, there's this trail I wanna do, or looks at this book," like you need to be able to bring passion to it, if you want there to be passion. 

What I think you should do is instead of breaking up and just saying FU, I think what you do is you figure out how to go on an introspective journey within the relationship with the relationship supporting them, creating a healthy space, an intentional space so people can find new things that they're passionate about, so they can bring that back. Thank you for that one; that's a good one. 

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