Cowy
Channel: Andrew Jeffrey
Date: 2012-03-04

Thing

The rain falls painfully upon my head [possibly colloquial metaphor]. They have stolen -- from out of my hands -- our distinctive collective identity. Why have they done this, for a few pounds sterling [possibly rhetorical]? Friendly young men came round to visit and cleaned up my house, which was very untidy. Doesn't that sound great [possibly sarcastic]? But remember to look more closely if they knock on your door. Don't feed them, get a stick and chase them. Before you get hurt, call the police. Perhaps light a fire to warn others they are within the area. I've warned you [note my hair standing on end] -- don't run away -- all you see is my dirty mouth and my dog on a string now that I wander round town like a drunk, exhausted old man that can't talk nicely like what they could (Note: this extract ends with an interjection impossible to translate accurately].