Narcissist: Your Pain is his Healing, Your Crucifixion - His Resurrection
Channel: Prof. Sam Vaknin
Date: 2020-08-27

The narcissist needs to hand over to you his own suffering and this way regain his inner peace and sense of control. Your pain is his healing, your crucifixion - his resurrection.

Narcissism is a delusional disorder but with 2 peculiarities:

1. The delusions are self-centred. Even idealization is co-idealization.

2. The narcissist is self-aware but attributes the discrepancies that inevitably and invariably arise not to impaired reality testing but to the inferiority, malice, envy, etc. of others. He uses devaluation to bridge the gap between perception and reality (the grandiosity gap).

Narcissist is emotionless and is uninterested in people. He is a spectacle: good for an hour or two, but dull and excruciatingly boring with his interminable monologues. He is a one trick pony. He is internally dead (destrudo, Thanatos).

Yet, the narcissist is convinced that he is awe-inspiring and fascinating. 
Narcissist is hateful, aggressive, and destructive to both self and others, even significant others. But realizing these qualities lead to ego-dystony. So the narcissist project them. But he is dimly aware of his projection, so he uses projective identification to coerce people to act hateful, aggressively, and destructively.

Narcissism feels special. But he is cast in a mold, cloned stereotype or archetype (Jung’s divine child). So, he needs counterfactual narcissistic supply to buttress his sense of uniqueness. Healthy people have a sense of self-worth and idiosyncrasy. The narcissist has a sense of superior idiosyncrasy. 

Is the narcissist ambitious?

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