Narcissist's Emotional Involvement Preventive Measures (EIPMs)
Channel: Prof. Sam Vaknin
Date: 2021-07-10

Emotional Involvement Preventive Measures - Full List here: https://samvak.tripod.com/narcissismemotional.html

Personality and Conduct

Lack of enthusiasm, anhedonia, and constant boredom
A wish to "vary", to "be free", to hop from one subject matter or object to another
Laziness, constantly present fatigue
Dysphoria to the point of depression leads to reclusiveness, detachment, low energies
Repression of the affect and uniform emotional "hues"
Self-hatred disables capacity to love or to develop emotional involvement
Externalised transformations of aggression:
Envy, rage, cynicism, vulgar honesty, black humour
(all lead to disintimisation and distancing and to pathological emotional and sexual communication)
Narcissistic compensatory and defence mechanisms:
Grandiosity and grandiose fantasies
(Feelings of) uniqueness
Lack of empathy, or the existence of functional empathy, or empathy by proxy
Demands for adoration and adulation
A feeling that he deserves everything ("entitlement")
Exploitation of objects
Objectification/symbolisation (abstraction) and fictionalisation of objects
Manipulative behaviour
(using personal charm, ability to psychologically penetrate the object, ruthlessness,
and knowledge and information regarding the object obtained, largely, by interacting with the object)
Intellectualisation through generalisation, differentiation and categorisation of objects
Feelings of omnipotence and omniscience
Perfectionism and performance anxiety (repressed)
These mechanisms lead to emotional substitution
(adulation and adoration instead of love),
to the distancing and repulsion of objects, to disintimisation
(not possible to interact with the "real" narcissist).

The results:

Narcissistic vulnerability to narcissistic injury
(more bearable than emotional vulnerability and can be more easily recovered from)
"Becoming a child" and infantilism
(the narcissist's inner dialogue: "No one will hurt me",
"I am a child and I am loved unconditionally, unreservedly, non-judgementally, and disinterestedly")
Adults don't expect such unconditional love and acceptance
and they constitute a barrier to mature, adult relationships.
Intensive denial of reality (perceived by others as innocence, naiveté, or pseudo-stupidity)
Constant lack of confidence concerning matters not under full control
leads to hostility towards objects and towards emotions.
Compulsive behaviours intended to neutralise a high level of anxiety
and compulsive seeking of love substitutes (money, prestige, power)…

Instincts and Drives

The Cerebral Narcissist

Sexual abstinence, low frequency of sexual activity lead to less emotional involvement.
Frustration of emotional objects through sex avoidance encourages abandonment by the object.
Sexual disintimisation by preferring autoerotic,
anonymous sex with immature or incompatible objects
(who do not represent an emotional threat or pose demands).
Sporadic sex with long intervals and drastic alterations of sexual behaviour patterns.
Dissociation of pleasure centres:
Pleasure avoidance (unless "for and on behalf" of the object)
Refraining from child rearing or family formation
Using the object as an "alibi" not to form new sexual and emotional liaisons,
extreme marital and monogamous faithfulness,
to the point of ignoring all other objects leads to object inertia.
This mechanism defends the narcissist from the need to make contact with other objects.
Sexual frigidity with significant other and sexual abstinence with others.

The Somatic Narcissist

The somatic narcissist treats others as sex objects or sex slaves or masturbatory aides.
High frequency of unemotional sex, lacking in intimacy and warmth.

Object Relations

Manipulative attitudes, which in conjunction with feelings of
omnipotence and omniscience, create a mystique of infallibility and immunity.
Partial reality test
Social friction leads to social sanctions (up to imprisonment)
Refraining from intimacy
Absence of emotional investment or presence
Reclusive life, avoiding neighbours, family (both nuclear and extended), spouse and friends
The narcissist is often a schizoid
Active misogyny (women-hatred) with sadistic and anti-social elements
Narcissistic dependence serves as substitute for emotional involvement
Immature emotional dependence and habit
Object interchangeability
(dependence upon ANY object – not upon a specific object)…
Limitation of contacts with objects to material and "cold" transactions
The narcissist prefers fear, adulation, admiration and narcissistic accumulation to love.
To the narcissist, objects have no autonomous existence except as PNSSs and SNSSs
(Primary and Secondary Sources of Narcissistic Supply).
Knowledge and intelligence serve as control mechanisms and
extractors of adulation and attention (Narcissistic Supply).

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