CryptoRaptor - The Crypto Rap
Channel: CryptoRaptor
Date: 2017-05-13

@Cryptopoly - Satoshi Swagamoto on Twitter

A satirical comedy rap about bitcoin and other cryptocurrencies

Lyrics-

Introducing the CryptoRaptor,
Getting you ready for the crypto rapture,
Gonna free you from your banking captor
Listen as I rap about a monetary fracture

"Chancellor on brink of second bailout for banks"
Shortly after everything tanks
Barely gave a little spank to the ranks
And they still haven't drained the swamp of the skanks

Groundbreaking white paper, thesis,
Satoshi Nakomoto, innovation ceaseless, 
Worldwide bitcoin! Fiat, don't need this!
Not long to the stage, introducing faeces(coins)

Crypto-alts n technical analysis
Tapping up exchanges and wallets inspectin' balances
Price alerts got me in paralysis
I'm sick of this I need a hit of TA dialysis

Twitter feed hype: perfect catalyst
One day I'll be a crypto panelist
Fight for Core, BU or Classicist
A strategist, I rattle this, baghodling philatelist

Dived in to a crypto-nexus
Locked wallet and encrypted necklace
AES-256-CBC to protect us
Cryptographic blockchain network connects us

FinRisk ridden I pledge to hedge this
Got peaks like Alexis Texas
Buy dips with a wedge and dredge this
Sea of shitcoins I'ma buy me a lexus

Geez weez oh baby please
Let me take you to the moon where there ain't no breeze
If the blocks too big then raise transaction fees
And if the fees too much, then pray to Jeeeeees-us

PBoC pounce to inspect us
E.T.F hype nearly rekt-us
But crypto so damn infectious
Charts flow mean green obscene erectus

Pennystock crypto, trading wreckless
Scamcoins leave peeps resepectless
Stop loss, take profit, price corrects us
Gut wrench trading hits the solar plecxus

I inject respect back into the rekt, trust
Deflect the loss and collect the rest, just
DYOR, ANN Thread prospectus
Kept us ticking ticking ticking sleeping restless

Our lexicon got you flexing long, soon
You'll be rapping to the crypto song
Crypto robot on automaton
Getting buy\sell signals on decepticoins

Fiat fake pumped, crypto-debtless
Quantitative easing, just can't respect this,
All time highs eat forex for breakfast
Check your eyes goldbugs stop going speckless

It's time to know my ICO-go,
Straight to Polo got a flashy logo
Leave out the FOMO, crypto hans-solo
No time for dump bro, Coins like YOLO

So I crack a beverage trading leverage
Made redudant so I'm packing severage
Find a coin fading into featheredge
While another dumps to cerebral hemorrhage

Only room for bulls and bears, When it
Rains it poors when it rips it tears
Catch you out in your underwears
Rushing to stop losses on your trading pairs

This margin call got me up the wall
Now accept Litecoin in my OJ stall
If it climbs too high then it's got to fall
All in, now I ended up with bugger all

I erase the gains with learning pains
Hard fork, soft fork, dev changing lanes
Authorities threatening with chains
Myopic world views, sociopolitical games

All time high on my own supply
No addition just mulitply
To the moon, next stop the sky
Packing rocket power like a Saturn Five

Bag-hodlers hodling, poker face shows fodling
Tweet to the masses, crypto-doh modelling
Forget about dem petty sharehodlings
You're hobbling, grovelling, whales boiled, waters' scodling