Two Ways to Punish Sex Withholding Partner
Channel: Prof. Sam Vaknin
Date: 2018-06-23

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When a woman with mental health issues is sexually or otherwise rejected by her intimate partner she acts out in one of two typical ways. This is especially true if the husband also justifies his sadistic cruelty by adding abuse & overt humiliation to injury: "You are ugly, you do not turn me on, you do not know how to be a woman, you are stupid & repulsive, you are whorish, you do not understand my sexual & psychological needs." The union then devolves into a power match. The personality disordered (narcissistic, histrionic, borderline) woman seeks to obtain two goals to redress her grievances & her sense of offended justice.

The first goal is to disprove her partner's evaluation of her & restore her self-esteem & self-confidence by proving mainly to herself how other men desire her. This she accomplished by becoming a flirtatious, promiscuous & seductive cockteaser.

The second goal is to punish her (non) intimate partner by rendering "his woman" (herself) a slut - or by transmogrifying into a non-woman.

By sexually egregiously misbehaving with multiple men, the rejected woman transforms herself into a "whore". This is her way to penalize her abuser by devaluing & debasing herself (his "property"). But some women choose the exact opposite solution: they passive-aggressively stop being women altogether. In a way, they unconsciously adopt the abuser's view of them as repellent & validate it. They neglect their appearance, abandon their personal hygiene, dress in tattered & shabby garb, put on no make up, are physically inert, and neglect their duties - including in business, childbearing & childrearing. This is their way of defying their mean and nasty partner: "You say that I am not a woman? Well, here you are, I stop being one". These women eradicate their femininity & womanhood as a way of getting back at their mistreating spouse.

(From the book "Malignant Self-love: Narcissism Revisited" by Sam Vaknin - Click on this link to purchase the print book, or 16 e-books, or 3 DVDs with 16 hours of video lectures on narcissists, psychopaths, and abuse in relationships: http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/thebook.html)