How to improve self esteem after a breakup | 3 EASY Steps
Channel: Brett Williams
Date: 2020-05-11

https://lifewithoptions.net
https://consciousbrothers.net

How do we improve your self esteem after a breakup?There's three particular aspects that we're going to jump into today in today's video. So stay tuned for those. But before we actually do that, let's define what is self esteem. That way that we are all on the same page and then we know exactly what we're talking about.So according to the dictionary, self esteem is defined as confidence in one's own abilities or worth. 
So if you've just gone through a breakup, there's a high chance that you probably feeling any one of the following, 
• loss of direction
• lack of identity, 
• lack of confidence
• feeling angry

We're going to dive into the three ways to rebuild your self esteem after the breakup so that you can attract in a healthy, positive relationship. And no, none of those steps is getting in bed with somebody else.

The first way to build your self esteem, and you're probably going to say, Brett, this seems extremely counterintuitive, but the truth of the matter is it's extremely crucial and it's something that too many people I think, overlook it because it's so simple. It's so easy. But it's also kind of hard and difficult at the same time.

And that is to really isolate yourself of what it means is spending that time with yourself and really asking yourself that key fundamental question that I love so much, which is, who am I? And when you ask yourself, who am I, it's not a case of that interrogation of like, who am I? Like, you know, what do you.. No.

It's an inquiry to actually start to understand what are some of the things that you like, what are the some of the things that you dislike and really starting to be able to understand who you are in this world and start to uncover your own identity. Now for me, this is exactly what I did after my relationship. I started to sit in meditation a lot more. I started to journal a lot and just really sit with my own self and ask myself the questions.

What am I feeling here? Why am I feeling this? And really starting to understand who am I and how I operate? And it's one of the key things that I speak to all of my students that I work with. You have a responsibility to yourself and to yourself alone to understand how you operate! 

Number two, which is all about self compassion and self compassion is a really key thing when it comes to healing and rebuilding and improving your self esteem and the other side of a relationship breakup.

Because what self-compassion allows you to do is to forgive yourself.

I did my best. I did the best that I could with what I had, the knowledge that I had at the time. Okay. It wasn't right. I might be hurting right now, but I'm going to have that self compassion for myself that says I'm okay and I'm going to be okay on the other side of this as well.

So really being able to sit with that self compassion will also help the self isolation part, because in those moments when you're sitting in that space, you get to actually be comfortable with yourself. And allow yourself to have that self-inquiry. And ultimately self-compassion is something that plays out in so many areas in life.

Diving into number three, it's all about trying a bunch of things. I said at the start, there's a high chance that in that relationship that you're in, there's a loss of identity. There's a questioning like, who am I? And that's perfectly fine. Maybe you've been living out their life for the last however long your relationship was around for. 

But at the same time, now is your opportunity to start to actually understand, you know, what did I even enjoy half the things that we did or like was I just enjoying it because I was doing it with them and I was doing it for them. So now is your opportunity to try so many things like, I don't know, go bowling, go to different restaurants, go dancing, go do some videos.

You know, look into so many different areas of life and really start to experience all of it. Because what that is going to allow you to do is start to develop your identity and it's going to build confidence as well as your self esteem. Because in doing so, you know who you are!You know what you like, you know what you dislike and ultimately you're going to start to create boundaries for yourself. Which means when somebody asks you, "Hey, this is what we're doing do you want to come along?" You know it's something that, you know what, I just don't actually even like that.

So you know what I'm going to pass, I'm going to honor my own boundaries. And when you honor your own boundaries, it's going to increase your self esteem, self confidence, self worth and ultimately have you feel a lot more happier with inside. Because let's be honest, the whole point of a lot of the things that we're talking about here is the fact that you just want to be happy.