LoLWin — Tale of a Tanknivia
Channel: Magikchicken
Date: 28/12/2011

An affectionate parody of Zilla Persona's LoLFail. The instrumental track is not owned by me, but is the property of Zilla Persona. =)
Said background music (originally from LoLFail) is registered under a Creative Commons license, meaning I *am* allowed to use it as long as I give credit to the original creator, so don't worry. Also, Zilla himself sent a link to a download of the off-vocal track. ^_^ Thanks, man!

The lyrics are mine, though. They are as follows:

~~~~~~~~~~

I'm in Summoner's rift, doin' solo queue ranked,
And my team's QQ-ing 'cause we don't got a tank
Our last-pick locked Twitch, to the sound of groans
Leave it to a noob to play the only champ he owns.

"ELO hell," my teammates are all cryin'
Watchin' that last-pick Twitch keep dyin'
But meanwhile mid,
I'm peltin' and meltin'
This feeder Fidds,
My Q is shuttin' down his bid.

Twelve minutes in,
And I've got my Rod of Ages,
Telling that Twitch to stop stackin' up Phages!
Merc Treads to counter that Fiddle's fear,
And now it's time to build a Glacial Shroud and Goddess Tear.

I'll rock Anivia and stack her tank,
Because to break the egg you'll need to bring a five-man gank,
With a regrowth pendant starting off mid lane,
For mad sustain,
To let my aggro bring the pain;
You say I'm trollin' with Philosopher's Stone,
When my history confirms that it's probable to positive I'll own;
My team sighs at my Banshee's Veil,
But when I finish Archangel's, it ain't no fail.

I get -- no AP
'Cause my base damage wins
If you want me to prove it
Watch me melt Lee Sin

Pilin' on more mana
Like my armour and health
They've nearly egged me when that Twitch finally comes out of stealth!
With an egg as epic bait, my team takes all the kills they want,
Because my tanky tanky passive's just an instant global taunt!
One kill, two kills, three four five,
And when their whole team's dead, that bulky egg is still alive!

Now my team is pushing middle
with their Baron buff on,
They haven't even noticed
Th'other team's already spawned,
When the counter-push happens, I show up with a wall,
Perma-slow my foes and watch their nexus turret fall!

I'll rock Anivia and stack her tank,
Because to break the egg you'll need to bring a five-man gank,
I'll finish my build with Warmog's Armour,
Press R to farm her,
Till I have more health than Skarner;
You say I'm crazy runnin' Sunfire Cape,
When my KDA confirms that it's pretty certain I'm in good shape!
They all wonder 'bout Frozen Heart,
But ya know I'm a Tankbird, don't even start!

~~~~~~~~~~

Anyways, LoL players will probably be divided over whether I'm trollin' about building Anivia as a tank. To preemptively put all doubts to rest: 
I MAIN TANKNIVIA. FTW.
^_^

~~TEXTWALL OF JUSTIFICATION~~ 
(read no further if you don't care/don't play LoL. xD)

While Anivia *does* have what amounts to a 1-to-1 AP ratio on her E (provided you chain it properly with her other skills), her scaling is decidedly average (especially when her Q is compared to, say, Sion's.) On the other hand, she's got so much good CC — including an AoE stun and a MASSIVE circle of slow that isn't affected by Tenacity — it's actually a travesty to see her die so quickly that she can't use her wall more than once. And that's aside from the facts that her wall doesn't scale with AP at all (but its usefulness DOES scale with longevity in a teamfight) and that her egg, when built tanky, goes from underpowered to OVERPOWERED in a flash. =)
The best part? Build RoA and Archangel's along with a bunch of tank items that also give mana, and you've got a good 250AP end-game to melt squishies with. (Early-game, of course, you don't even *need* the AP to melt people.)

Link to Tanknivia Guide:
http://www.mobafire.com/league-of-legends/build/tanknivia-bane-of-squishies-165047