Masochism: Borderlines, Psychopaths Self-trash
Channel: Prof. Sam Vaknin
Date: 2021-04-15

Psychopaths: no switching and self-trashing promiscuity.

Sexual Masochism: Self-trashing in BPD, Cleckley (psychopathy).

Feeling bad/trashed leads to sexual arousal.

Self-trashing strategies:

Despoiling
Cheating (shame, guilt, immoral “bad object”)
Substances
Inappropriate mates

Cluster B personality disordered patients are goal oriented.

All goals forms of supply: abandonment (BPD), sadistic narcissistic supply (NPD), money-sex-power (AsPD).

Each personality disorder has its own form of Supply:

HPD (Histrionic PD) – Derive their supply from their heightened sexuality, seductiveness, flirtatiousness, from serial romantic and sexual encounters, from physical exercises, and from the shape and state of their body;

NPD (Narcissistic PD) – Derive their supply from garnering attention, both positive (adulation, admiration) and negative (being feared, notoriety);

BPD (Borderline PD) – Derive their supply from the presence of others (they suffer from separation anxiety and are terrified of being abandoned);

AsPD (Antisocial PD) – Derive their supply from accumulating money, power, control, and having (sometimes sadistic) "fun".

Borderlines, for instance, can be described as narcissists with an overwhelming fear of abandonment. They are careful not to abuse people. They do care deeply about not hurting others – but for a selfish motivation (they want to avoid rejection).

Borderlines depend on other people for emotional sustenance. A drug addict is unlikely to pick up a fight with his pusher. But Borderlines also have deficient impulse control, as do Antisocials. Hence their emotional lability, erratic behavior, and the abuse they do heap on their nearest and dearest.

There is a huge difference between promiscuity and sexual self-trashing.

Self-trashing is always compulsive, promiscuity is not (though it is sometimes impulsive and situational).

Promiscuity is an active role and is often experienced as an empowering lifestyle choice or a conquest. It boosts the participants’ self-esteem and their inner locus of control.

In contrast, self-trashing is masochistic, self-punitive, passive, and is chiefly intended as an anxiolytic (anxiety ameliorating) and antidepressant activity. It is self-medication via temporary, self-loathing sexual self-annihilation.

In self-trashing, the preliminaries (flirting, courting, dating) are perfunctory, minimal, or nonexistent: sex is the first move, not the culmination. The self-trasher actually ends up bedding unattractive mates as a way to further despoil and degrade herself. She typically engages in kinky, reckless, or extreme sexual acts in the first few minutes with unknown strangers.

Alcohol and drugs frequently precede both types of sex. But the promiscuous use substances to disinhibit themselves while the self-trashing leverage the same to numb themselves often to the brink of a blackout or unconsciousness.

Finally, promiscuity is usually ego-syntonic. Self-trashing is always ego-dystonic. Self-trashers describe the sex as cursory, disappointing, objectifying, “disgusting”, “unpleasant”, or “uncomfortable”. Many of them report shame, regret, anger, disappointment, and guilt, emotional blunting, and an increase in anxiety and depression after the act.

Find and Buy MOST of my BOOKS and eBOOKS in my Amazon Store: https://www.amazon.com/stores/page/60F8EC8A-5812-4007-9F2C-DFA02EA713B3