The PERFECT Video — Unnatural Desire for Perfection
Channel: Daily Insight
Date: 2018-11-14

Many people strive to be perfect — whatever that means. They focus on getting their report, or essay, or new YouTube video, perfect. But the desire for perfection is actually a burden that can bring about unhappiness, because as many of us can rationalise, perfection is impossible. Perfection does not exist in nature. Perfection, as we know it, is a man-made construct. Who decides that the design of a particular house is perfect? Who says that this novel is a perfect example of literary prose? It’s all subjective. Perfection is a fabrication and utterly unattainable!

However, I have struggled with perfectionism all my life. Even to this day, I spend far too long writing emails, trying to word them succinctly and precisely. But for what? So that the other person thinks that I’m a good writer? So that the other person respects me?

But I hate it! I hate being a perfectionist! Sometimes I can control myself and not give in to it. I teach my son, “It doesn’t matter if you write every sentence perfectly — it’s better to finish your homework with some errors, than to only finish a quarter of it with no errors. I see it all the time with students.

I do feel for them. I’ve struggled with the same perfectionist obsessions myself. But luckily, the realist in me trumps my perfectionism. If I know something is due, I’ll get it done no matter what. If I can’t work out the title for my next video, I’ll just stick with whatever pops into my head. Perfection is irritating. It’s dull and boring.

So why do we have perfectionists? Why do we see people always striving to achieve some perfect state?

I was at the dentist yesterday, and she was telling about all the problems associated with dental braces. She sees people coming in who had braces put on at a young age. Many of them had to have perfectly good teeth removed in order to fit the braces and “make room”. But unfortunately, there are side effects later in life. Things like sleep apnoea and mouth breathing. So why do so many people get braces? Sure, some of them have a legitimate reason, but mostly, it’s because they want to achieve the perfect smile. You can see it written all over the walls of most dental surgeries, or read about it in the myriad of pamphlets. 

Look at the world around you. Look at the trees. Look at the animals. Look at the clouds in the sky. Is anything perfect? Are any two trees identical? Of course not! Trees are just a somewhat random growth of branches, twigs, and leaves in a somewhat upwards direction. Rocks were created by volcanic eruptions millions of years ago, all with their own unique look and composition. But yet, despite all this lack of perfection, nature is beautiful.

Look at the photo of the Korean ladies on the right. They’re Miss Korea 2013 contestants who have all tried to achieve the perfect look. It’s no secret that South Koreans have an obsession with plastic surgery, but what have we ended up with? — A beauty pageant full of clones. Their facial features are almost all the same. Is this what perfection is? Everybody ending up looking and acting the same way?

In nature, we appreciate uniqueness. We like looking at all the different kinds of flowers and trees. We enjoy the earthy smells and the floral scents. We enjoy the imperfection. Humans are a part of nature, too.

The Japanese have a concept known as wabi-sabi. Proponents believe in the acceptance of transience and imperfection — that one can only find beauty in things that are imperfect, impermanent, and incomplete. By its very nature, nature is imperfect.

Psychologically speaking, perfectionists suffer greatly. They spend their lives trying to achieve something that will never eventuate. It has a huge psychological toll. Perfectionists are never living in the moment. They are forever trying to critique the past, or worry about the future. It’s a fruitless endeavour. Perfectionism robs us of the ability to live in the moment and experience the vitality of life. Perfectionism is not happiness.

So what is one to do? Live life in the moment. Admire nature. Enjoy the feeling of the warm Japanese cup in your hands. Treasure the time spent with loved ones. But most importantly, realise that perfection is overrated and utterly unattainable. As adherents of wabi-sabi would say — enjoy the imperfect, accept the impermanent, and treasure the incomplete.

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SOURCES
5 Good Reasons NOT To Have Teeth Removed for Braces – Kanata/Ottawa Dentist
https://drandreastevens.com/5-good-reasons-not-to-have-teeth-removed-for-braces-kanataottawa-dentist/
The Problem with Perfection
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/shift-mind/200811/the-problem-perfection
Wabi Sabi your home: How embracing imperfection can benefit your health
https://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/health-and-wellness/wabi-sabi-your-home-how-embracing-imperfection-can-benefit-your-health-20180822-p4zz2j.html

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