Identify Narcissist in Your Shared Fantasy
Channel: Prof. Sam Vaknin
Date: 2021-01-11

All narcissists end life in a schizoid state. In interpersonal relationships, they progress from narcissism (lovebombing/grooming) to abuse (or to sadism) to discard (schizoid). This is true also in their careers and in their general social engagement and attitude to the world, as narcissistic injuries and mortifications mount and reach an intolerable crescendo, causing extreme withdrawal and avoidance behaviors. 

As distinct from the overt-classic narcissist, the schizoid, cerebral, sadistic, and covert types of narcissist prefer anonymized, faceless narcissistic supply. The sadist, though, derives sadistic supply also from one-on-one encounters. 

Within the shared fantasy with an overt narcissist, the abuse is intended to test the partner and re-enact early childhood conflicts. But it has added functions in the case of the schizoid narcissist (to re-establish a solitary space by pushing the partner away), the sadist (to pleasurably inflict pain), the cerebral (to deny intimacy and forestall sex), and the covert (to establish dominance in a power play).

All types of narcissists mourn the passing of the shared fantasy, never the permanent loss counterparties involved in it. This is how they can transition so smoothly to a new mate/friend/business associate.

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