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Date: 16/09/2023

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111 Funny quotes that will bring some humor to your day
Add a dash of comedy to your day with this collection of funny quotes for every part of your life, and free customizable templates to make your own quote designs.


Adobe Express
01/08/2023
   

Summary/Overview
19 Funny quotes about life
12 Funny work quotes
15 Funny motivational quotes
11 Funny family quotes
19 Funny quotes about love and marriage
8 Funny quotes from movies and television
27 Funny holiday quotes
Free Adobe Express templates with funny quote posters
Free Adobe Express templates with funny quotes for social media
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Whether you’re stuck at work, waiting for your train, or just scrolling down your feed, you may need a little extra enjoyment to make your day feel brighter. This collection of fun and funny quotes will hopefully bring a smile to your face, and can be used for a variety of crafts, like cards, posters, and signs, or for social media captions and graphics. Sit back, relax, and bring a bit of comedy into your life with these 111 lines of reflection, humor, and lived experience.

19 Funny quotes about life
When life give you lemons… you know the rest. Take yourself a little less seriously with these funny quotes about life.

“You know you’ve reached middle age when you’re cautioned to slow down by your doctor, instead of by the police.” — Joan Rivers
“Money cannot buy health, but I'd settle for a diamond-studded wheelchair.” — Dorothy Parker
“Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.” — Jack Handey
“I'm sick of following my dreams, man. I'm just going to ask where they're going and hook up with ’em later." — Mitch Hedberg
“Never follow anyone else’s path. Unless you’re in the woods and you’re lost and you see a path. Then by all means follow that path.” — Ellen DeGeneres
“Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.” — Groucho Marx
“I like freedom. I wake up in the morning and say, ‘I don’t know, should I have a popsicle or a donut?’ You know, who knows?” — Oscar Nunez
“Someone asked me, if I were stranded on a desert island what book would I bring: ‘How to Build a Boat.’” — Steven Wright
“Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.” — Anonymous
“If I’m not back in five minutes, just wait longer.” — Ace Ventura (Jim Carrey),  Ace Ventura: Pet Detective
“Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?” — Robin Williams
“The only thing that separates us from the animals is our ability to accessorize.” — Claire Belcher (Olivia Dukakis),  Steel Magnolias
“A good rule to remember for life is that when it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain.” — Graham Norton
“As you get older, three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two.” — Sir Norman Wisdom
“You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.” — George Burns
"Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves." — Albert Einstein
“People say, ‘But Betty, Facebook is a great way to connect with old friends.’ Well, at my age, if I want to connect with old friends I need a Ouija board.” — Betty White
“Accept who you are. Unless you’re a serial killer.” — Ellen DeGeneres
“My ability to turn good news into anxiety is rivaled only by my ability to turn anxiety into chin acne.” — Tina Fey,  Bossypants


12 Funny work quotes
Five days of your week are spent under someone else’s roof, so use up some of that time with these fun quotes about being a working stiff.

“Here’s some advice: At a job interview, tell them you’re willing to give 110 percent. Unless the job is a statistician.” — Adam Gropman
“Doing nothing is very hard to do… you never know when you’re finished.” — Leslie Nielsen
“No man goes before his time — unless his boss leaves early.” — Groucho Marx
“By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.” — Robert Frost
“I choose a lazy person to do a hard job, because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it.” — Bill Gates
“I used to sell furniture for a li