Vultures, performer artists, funerals and Kabod
Channel: Nadia Bet-Seber House of Hope
Date: 2019-05-08

So I had the beautiful blessing and opportunity to say goodbye to my granny two weeks ago, she departed from the African red soil to the streets where they have golden paving. The last seven years of her life she truly was a prisoner of her ill health, even though I will miss her dearly, I’m so happy for her that she obtained liberty and freedom from her body. It was truly an interesting journey, the goodbye journey. I also knew that this writing was inevitable, but I had a bit of a writers block, hence now it feels just right to write about it. 
I’m grateful to God who has given me quite a few angels and cheerleaders on my journey while my granny still had His air in her lungs, due to her circumstances she was a difficult person. She had her moments where she was a delight to be around with, but as her health deteriorated, the moments of happiness and bliss also decreased. With my personality on the Ennaegram board, I’m a 7, and we sevens just like to have fun. So the more she became bitter, the less my visits became. I have my angels, reprimanding me and also encouraging me to visit her even more. My one wise friend Milydia said: “one day your granny will not be here anymore, then you’ll have regrets if you do not make time to visit her” 
So Milydia and myself started this campaign, every time I visited my granny, I will take a selfie to show her that I did listen to her advice. Today I’m grateful, I’m grateful that I made the effort, I’m grateful for people like Milydia that encouraged me to visit her, because today I really live with no regrets towards my granny. Afterwards we both realized that our two grannies, as her advice was pay it forward, as someone years ago reprimanded her about her granny, to also visit her more, that our grannies past away on the exact same date, hers left this world three years ago, but on the exact same date, isn’t God just too amazing and His timing is perfect. 
Milydia also attended the funeral, she and Tanja gave me a beautiful pink gift, I love pink, filled with Hug in a Mug, a sponge to wash away my tears and my sadness and a big box of Astros to allow the colorful life to enter into my life again. And the crowd goes aaaagh, may you too have people that surround you with so much love. I’m currently working through Proverbs, on a treasure hunt for more wisdom, this is what they make me think of: Proverbs 3:16 you will have beauty and blessings surrounding you, you will be inside a bubble of blessings. This is what these two friends manifested in my life. 
Tuesday, the day after the funeral I heard the song – in the living years, I could listen to this song with literally not having any regrets, in my Granny’s living years, I said all that I had to say, I wrote her letters reinforcing what she means to me, I celebrated her while she was still there. My dad made a bookmark for her, also celebrating her life, his way of an eulogy, we celebrated her, this made me think, people that only write about their loss and shock when someone passes away in the funeral letter, is it a reflection of regrets? Versus how people really celebrate someone’s life in their last letters. Is a funeral note a reflection of your own condition of your heart? 
Then we need to talk about the vultures, the people that tries to steal all the shine and sympathy on funerals. I have seen that when someone was really loved, the level of vultures decrease, you celebrate the memories, instead of grasping on material goods, just to have one last grasp on that person. I have seen people that demand to sit in the front rows, I have seen people rushing to grasp the first flower petals as a show that they were the closest to the deceased to make almost a performing art at showing their last respects, versus the ones that deserved the front row seat, gently sitting in a different row, patiently waiting their turn to say goodbye by dropping rose petals on the casket. 
I have seen holy sacred moments in grief, I have felt a warm, old, boney hand, gently grasping my side, just to share one last story about my Ouma, that is a holy sacred moment I will always cherish, I have felt the loving embrace of my sister-in-law’s, small hands, holding both my brother and me, I have felt the love and embrace of my step mother, a relationship I have prayed for years to be blessed. In moments of grief, loss and sorrow, I have seen vultures and performer artists, but luckily the darkness flees for God’s light, I have felt more love in our little family this past week, than what I have felt in years and I soak this up, I feel like Spongebob Square pants, just wanting to soak up the brother-love, the daddy-love and the precious plus-ones in their live. I have also felt the love from my support group and I’m grateful for that, it is really from a full and grateful heart that I had to give this emotion a shape and a rhythm,  with God on your side, He can bless you even in the most horrible