The Never Settle Podcast - What to Expect When Having Expectations with Ben Winter
Channel: Mel Clarke
Date: 14/06/2022

Ben Winter is an Author of What to Expect when Having Expectations as well  as several other books. He is also a Speaker, Actor, Improvist, Entrepreneur,  Traveller, Father, and much much more. He loves to explore physical  places around the world, but also explore the mind.

Introverted when younger and is his own words 'with a sad existence' it was his ex wife who introduced him to improv and when he learned the rules it was the most magical thing that had ever happened. 

Newly married with a 2 month old, his wife suggesting quitting his job and moving to Europe with no agenda. So 4 months later they did and when returning home after 3 months, Ben did not want to go back to his corporate life, so started own web design and graphics business. 

A divorce he wasn't expecting, personal growth and a powerful meditation gave him the subconscious download to know that he needed to be doing an improv business. 

He loves teaching and speaking in front of people and wants to help people become happier.

Also Life is more fun when you know the rules of improv. 

One rule is 'Yes And'. You have to accept whats happening in the moment. When you do that it's then the "yes, and.....", adding onto whats happening in the moment, even if the statement was wrong in your opinion. i.e. One person says 'don't ignore your mother and who spilt the paint?' the other person then needs to respond as being the child in the improv, so accepting the other person is mum first and then giving an explantion to the paint spilling. 

'Focus on the Present' is another rule, which is the here and now also known as your intuition. 

Some people are in complete denial of where they are, and never change their behaviour to change their situation. When you accept you are not happy where you are, then you can move somewhere else. 

Be specific, use words, body language and inflection to communicate what you want. ie. put the trash out is fine but when? what time? why now? etc. 

People only get upset when their expectation wasn't met, there is always expectation. Knowing this doesn't solve the problem and  solve thats how the book came about.  

It needs to becomes a practice when you understand what runs you, why you have the thoughts you do, and then you can be more aware of how to change that. 

If you believe your expectation is reasonable then share it with the other person, but just know they might not buy into it, as they have their own expectations. Once you have shared you need to ask them what their expectations were or are. And quite simply If you don't share your expectations then get over yourself. 

Ben has also just written his first sci fi novel in the last 12 months which will be released Jan 2022. He finishes with 'If you have an idea to do something just start, don't wait for perfection'.

You can find Ben at successimprov.com or check out his book at havingexpectations.com

As well as The Never Settle podcast host Mel Clarke is also a Life Purpose Coach &  Reiki Healer helping people come out of chaos to  find their purpose  driven direction in life. You can find out more  about Mel at www.melclarkecoaching.com, Insta & Facebook @melclarkecoaching