Is It OK to be Ordinary? Dr Ronald Siegel on the Plant Yourself Podcast
Channel: Sick to Fit | Plant Yourself Podcast
Date: 2022-09-13

The inner work I've been doing recently has brought me face to face with something that is probably quite obvious to people who know me or even who just see me in action, but which really I wasn't aware of until very recently: the extent to which my mind wants to rank everybody on whatever continuum, whatever dimension it can find.

And, of course, the goal there is to figure out where I rank.

Looking back, one of the patterns of my childhood was if I couldn't be the best or near the best or one of the best, or at least get a lot of praise and admiration for excelling then I would drop it. So there were some sports in which I excelled, and there were other sports that I didn't participate in at all; basketball and swimming being two of the most significant.

Lately I've been observing the phenomenon, as well as its cost in terms of the ways I limit myself and in the ways I can put other people in a box, judge them, and dismiss them.

I've also been recognizing how this impulse has been reinforced by my society; by all the social structures that celebrate excellence, that celebrate talent, that rank people, and honor people who have exceptional abilities in something or other.

And so I was wrestling with all this when I saw a book called The Extraordinary Gift of Being Ordinary: Finding Happiness Right Where You Are, by Dr. Ronald Siegel. And the minute I read that title, I just breathed out.

Just the title alone gave me permission to be ordinary. And once I played with the idea, I discovered that embracing it took a huge weight off. And I'm not saying that the ranking impulses in my mind still don't exist, but I can now put them in that context and remember that ordinary is not a problem.

In fact, it's a way to connect. It's a way to belong.

Whereas constantly aiming for achievement and ambition and success so that other people would think of me as special and allow me to belong is really a fools game.

After reading the book, I reached out to Dr. Siegel, who was gracious enough to agree to the conversation you're about to hear.

Dr Siegel is an assistant professor of psychology at Harvard Medical School, and the author of many books. He's a big deal in the meditation and mindfulness communities, and a genuinely wonderful human being (while being refreshingly ordinary at the same time :).

Enjoy!