American Holidays Are Stupid 8of13
Channel: Johnathan Masters
Date: 2014-04-02

1Groundhogs Day. Midway point to Vernal Spring equinox. Feb. 2. First "spring is almost here" celebration. James Joyce, the Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man, Ayn Rand, Fountainhead, and Shakira, her hips don't lie, are all born on Feb 2.
9Valentine's Day. Love. Feb 14. 2nd "spring is almost here" celebration, with romantic love as it's central theme. 
2St. Patrick's Day. Vernal Spring equinox. March 17. March 21; Springtime Dates: Africa Day. Mar 14, b, and April 18, d, Albert Einstein's dates. March Madness. Albert Einstein Madness. Alos, we can laugh at Tennessee. On March 21 1925 - State of Tennesee enacts the Butler Act.
8Easter/Passover. Monthlong celebration for the Springtime, in general. 
*June 20, 21. Summer Solstice. Kentucky Day. 4th of July. June 21; Summertime Dates:Summerfest: June 21. Che's birthday is June 14, 1928, 7 days prior to June 21. Tau Day (Jun. 28) Star Wars vs. Star Trek? Buffy vs. Twilight? You ain't seen a geek feud until you've waded into the Pi vs. Tau debate over which is the more worthy scientific shorthand for the ratio of a circle's circumference to its diameter. Celebrations include educating others on why pi is wrong;  June 28, b, July 2, d, Rousseau's dates. July 4, 2012, Higgs Boson was invented. We should take back our 4th of July fireworks. July 5, 1996. - Ian Wilmut and Keith Campbell cloned the first animal from adult cells. Dolly the sheep, born on July 5, 1996, was created using the so-called Roslin Technique (see "How was Dolly clone?" section of this webpage). The cloning of Dolly is one of the most important milestones in the history of animal cloning, as it proves that cloning of adult animals is possible. 
August 21, 1869. The Gripshover Arrival Day. 
*Sept 22. Autumn/Fall Equinox. Africa Day. First Monday of Sept. is Labor Day. Sept. 22; Sept 22. Kentucky Day. Fall Equinox. Labor Day, 1st Monday in September, at least 14 days away from Sept 22.. Programmer's Day (Sep. 12 or 13) 10 days before Fall Equinox. On the 256th day of the year (AKA the hexidecimal 100 day), the code monkeys that make the modern world possible finally get a quasi-official holiday (except in Russia, where it's an actual holiday). The one day of the year where hacking is always white hat, and not knowing what "reindeer flotilla" means is uncool. Oct 2, 1865. Ghandi's Birthday. Oct 7 to 13 is International Metric Week. 
5Christopher Columbus Day. Oct 13. 
7Halloween. Oct 31. Midpoint between Autumn/Fall Equinox and Winter Solstice. 
6Thanksgiving Day. 2nd Winter Solstice celebration is upon us. 4th Thursday of November. Green Corn Harvest Festival. 
4Christmas. Dec. 25. Winter Solstice. All of the Northern Hemisphere on Saturday will experience the darkest day of the year. Specifically, at 12:11 p.m. ET, we will witness the winter solstice. In the U.S., we'll have just nine hours, 32 minutes of daylight. For many this time of year, that means leaving home and returning from work in darkness.Dec. 22 to 25; Dec. 23. Festivus. The next best (non-commercial) thing to Christmas, enjoy your meatloaf, airing of grievances, and feats of strength as you gather 'round the Festivus pole and collect donations for The Human Fund. Just don't forget the true meaning of Festivus. Rainbow Kwanzaa. Cultural regeneration for all folks. Black power Revolution.  Simon Girty was born on Christmas Day, December 25, 1741. Simon Girty was a white man who fought against the American revolutionaries in defense of native Americans. There is nothing to corroborate his specific accurate birthday, but that's the point. Nothing corroborates Jesus Christ's December 25 birthday either. Like a Pope, I now designate December 25th to be for the immaculately conceived Sun-god, American revolutionary hero, Simon Girty. Dec. 25. Grav-Mass. Sir Isaac Newton, inventor of both calculus and physics and thus the ur-geek of all geeks, was born on Christmas Day.
3Kwanzaa. Dec 26 to Jan. 1. end of year celebration.