The Ghost of Cliff Burton - The Annexation of Puerto Rico
Channel: Jef Rouner
Date: 02/12/2011

"The Annexation of Puerto Rico "
The Ghost of Cliff Burton
The Maybe Laser
No Label (2011)
Director: Gorilla Bill
Lyrics: Jef With One F
Music: Gorilla Bill
 
Starring:
Scarlett St. Vitus as the Prey
Olga Von Snatchenschlammur as the Predator
Jef With One F as the Intrepid Explorer
 
Shot on location in the Montrose, Houston , TX . Special thanks to Mariana and Avant Garden for permission to film and for the free drinks.
 
Production assistance provided by Craig Wade.
 
Nomenclature research provided by Spleen.
 
Hundreds of mosquitoes were brutally murdered during the making of this film.
 
LYRICS
 
Ever since the dawn of man we've written questions on our hands like, "Why are we here?" and, "Why do we wonder why we're here?" But the question I seek an answer to is not the nature-mind of God or a cure for cancer. It's the explanation of certain mating habits. So join me, won't you? As we delve into the mysterious and little seen world of the armless lesbian rapist.
 
She stalks her prey, like many predators, at oft-frequented watering holes. The natives call these bars. The lack of front appendages gives her the deceptive appearance of being in need of assistance. Once the bait is taken, the unsuspecting victim I drawn into the spider's den. Now this is where it gets kinky. When the prey least expects it, here throat is caught in the jaws of our hero. Or was she the villain? With death close at hand the victim follows every command hissed through her captor's teeth. The clothes come off. They begin to grind against each other in a process I have coined a name for, "The Annexation of Puerto Rico."
 
A certain kind of syndrome can overtake the victim of such an act. They may even cease to try and escape. They may even agree to drive the getaway car when their captor attempts to rob a bank the next morning, and when the grenade goes off at the wrong time, killing the armless lesbian rapist and several innocent people her mate will stand beside the car and whisper, "I've never been so in love."