I'm not gay, but I've got a gay bum (poem)
Channel: jason john
Date: 2021-06-29

A short poem for Pride Month.
I’m not gay
but I’ve got a gay bum
As I saunter down the street
I see him looking lit
It says “oh yum”
Get me a piece of that
And I say “No, I want twat!”
And it says “come on I need a really firm dick”
And I say “no way
I’m not having it!”

I’m not gay
I like boobs and VJ
Buy my bum wants pecs and peckers
I want ladies
It wants fellas

...
If that’s you, 
if your grace seems like disgrace, 
I’d love to say “come on out!”
with a massive self-affirming shout!  

But I’m not you, 
I don’t have to live your life, you do.

So all I’ll say
When you give up on “praying the gay away”
Or hitting it with meditation, 
repression 
or self-medicated suppression

Is come and whisper in my ear
Or fake facebook account me if there’s still too much fear

Or there’s probably someone better really near at hand
Who will understand…

Perhaps you’re not a bit wa wa 
perhaps your kid is
And it fills you with fear or it gives you the shits
That it looks like 
they might like 
the wrong bits

Did you grow up in a culture where gays have to be attackded
Or sing halelujiah in a church with a bible all selectively redacted
Come on.  
Sing a new song.

‘cause the bible also worries that 
they could be a banker, 
or some futures trading wanker
Wear a shirt of polyester
Or tempt you with an oyster, 
or really any shellfish.
They could grow up arrogant or selfish

The bible’s a voluptuous moral mess
Which is why it got boiled down, I guess
To love God and your neighbour too
And surely that means the neighbour 
who actually came out of you!

Judge not, lest ye be judged.  
Learn from the filthy Samaritan
God loves your kid SO  much
More than you can imagine.

And they’re your kid
So zoom them tonight
or hold them tight
Whether they're fifteen or 55
Look them in the eye and say
I'm SO glad that you arrived