Narcissist's Discipline: Love, Pain, Intimacy (ENGLISH responses)
Channel: Prof. Sam Vaknin
Date: 2020-03-10

The Narcissist's Psychosexuality: From Fantasy to Deviance and Beyond (ENGLISH responses) - Part 13 of 22

QUESTION (translated from Hungarian)

15. Now let’s move on to the second letter of the acronym: D, which stands for discipline. Where does the fantasy and desire for spanking (one of the popular branches of BDSM) originate from? Many of my narcissistic clients have told me about passionately fantasizing about spanking or experiencing it, even though they reported that they have never been physically abused by their parents in their childhood. Yet these spanking fantasies appeared at an incredibly early age, between 3 and 6 years, and continued throughout their lives, growing to such an intense desire that they might even fantasize or masturbate on such fantasies on a daily basis. Can this be related to the stage when the false self is being developed? Or is it related to being stuck in the Freudian anal stage? Why do certain individuals have such an intense desire to spank another person (often their partners)? And why do they desire to be punished really hard by someone else? Does this restore some kind of balance? Because they report that they calm down and become a brand new person after each session. 

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