Nobody can take away other's Defenses for Feelings - ISTDP principle Jon Frederickson
Channel: Visceral Gravitas
Date: 17/09/2022

excerpt from "repression seminar - Jon Frederickson" https://youtu.be/8k2lijaDp-g
@-istdp.yuvalalon5954 

transcript:
Anna's wondering about the stability of change and what happens 
oftentimes we wish that we would somehow be purified by a transformative therapy and have no defenses or whatever 
but I've actually never met anybody who's been purified
including myself, in case you were wondering 

so what do we mean then when we help patients defenses 
if I was in the room with you and I would, 
say I handed you my glasses case, take my glasses case 
and she would hold it herself and says no you can't have it Jon.  She could take my glasses case because it's a thing 
but no one can take your defense, because the defense is how you handle feelings 
so for instance I've had about 20 years of therapy myself 
and if I want to project today on Inga Marie I can 
no one can take that away 
if I want to intellectualize with Amir, I can 
Let's suppose I'm with Samantha and I want to go to self-attack, I can do it 
defenses are ways we handle with feelings 
those options are always available 
it's just like as a driver you always have the option to drive in reverse rather than go forward 
so the important thing to know is 
we can't take defenses away 
Their choices about how to handle feelings 
ideally the therapy is going to help patients see their defenses, face their feelings rather than use defenses, and be able to deal with conflicts more successfully 
because remember 
We're helping patients be able to embrace deal with their humanity 
and no therapy is going to offer patients omnipotence or omniscience 
life is hard 
No one can take your defense because the defense is how you handle feelings 
those options are always available