Steve Goodie - Love Me Tinder
Channel: The Funny Music Project (The FuMP)
Date: 2015-02-09

If you haven't heard of Tinder [www.tinder.com], this song ain't gonna make a heck of a lot of sense. And if you've never heard of Elvis, this is going to be ridiculously pointless. If you need to do a little Googling before you listen, that's just fine. Take your time. I'll wait. 

 Tinder is, basically, a new-ish dating app (aka "casual sex app") for 20-somethings. You sign up, and the app tells you if there's a good match (aka "willing partner") in your vicinity. If you like him/her, you swipe to the right on your phone and "hook up." If you don't, you swipe to the left and dismiss the poor, unlucky soul. 

 I think The King would have loved this app. 

 Words: SG, Maya Rogel, and Carla Ulbrich 
Music: Elvis Presley, Carl Perkins, Ken Darby, George R. Poulton, Vera Matson, Jerry Leiber, Mike Stoller, and Otis Blackwell 
Guitars, bass, drums, piano, vocals, production: SG 

--- Lyrics ---

Hey there... 

Tonight's musical interlude is brought 
to you by www.tinder.com. 
For dating in the 21st century. 

All right, let's see... 
Ooh, she looks good! Swipe right. 
Yech! Swipe left! 
Ohh baby... swipe right! Swipe right! 


Love me on Tinder, love me sweet 
I don’t have all night 
And you’re within 100 feet 
So swipe me to the right 

Love me on Tinder, swipe me through 
Say my dreams are real 
You have a smoking profile pic 
And darlin’ I’d like to cop a feel 

Bathroom selfie, 3 am 
Boy I sure look fine 
You’d never know I’m three foot ten 
Or that my hair ain’t mine 

Love me on Tinder, love me fast 
I love this f’ing app 
I’ve got two more after you 
Hope no one’s got the clap 

Love me on Tinder, hey you’ll do 
Your name, sure, I’d like to know [why not?] 
We’ll be done in just a few 
I don’t actually love you… so…? 

Well bless my soul, you look so good 
And you’re right here in my neighborhood 
You like my smile, and I like your butt 
It ain’t love… but let’s hook up 

Mmmm mmmm, oo oo, yeah yeah, let’s hook up 

Well this one’s a honey, this one’s a ho 
It’s three in the morning, let’s go 

I ain’t nothing but a horndog, scrounging all the time 
I ain’t never had a woman ’cept the skanks I find online 


Yeah, that was real good. Why don't you go make 
me a fried baloney sandwich? With a twinkie.