Understand your Co-Workers Energetic Patterns (Steven Kessler)
Channel: CJ Liu
Date: 2022-01-06

CJ Liu interview Steven Kessler about his book "The 5 Personality Patterns" and upcoming class (https://the5personalitypatterns.com/free-webinar-better-rels/).  How do you spot different personality types during a work meeting? And how can you act with self-awareness, compassion to yourself and treat others with kindness. In the interview Steven shares the "tells" of different types. 

LEAVING
Feels Scared by...
Big, strong emotions or energies. Aggression, conflict, personal unhappy feelings, lack of an exit path, living in a cold, unloving world needing others, feeling attached or dependent on others

Tries to feel Safer by...
Limiting contact, leaving, disappearing, dissociating. Avoiding conflict. Avoiding inhabiting the body. Staying up in their head. keeping it abstract and general. keeping it light, playful, impersonal

MERGING
Feels Scared by...
Loss of the heart connection, abandonment, rejection, feeling empty or alone, having needs, conflict with others, disappointing others, not being enough, and having to struggle to do a task

Tries to feel Safer by...
Merging with others, maintaining heart connection to the other person, appeasing, accommodating, flattering, manipulating, giving to get, focusing on and expressing feelings, 
Simple Merging, getting others to take care of them, crying out for help, Compensated Merging, 
ignoring own needs & taking care of others

ENDURING
Feels Scared by...
Loss of a buffering space around them, being found, exposed, humiliated, energetic probes or invasions, attempts to find or control them, feeling messed with, obligations, deadlines, tests
others' desires and needs

Tries to feel Safer by...
Retreating into their own space, hiding, being unreachable, unmovable, passive, no self-expression; no self action, enduring, not responding or sharing feelings, not initiating or taking a position on anything, automatically saying No at first, resisting all attempts to move or control them

AGGRESSIVE
Feels Scared by...
Abandonment by others, betrayal by others,any deception or manipulation of them, any loss of control, any challenge to their dominance, feeling weak, needy, or scared, having to trust and let go
depending on others

Tries to feel Safer by...
Dominating self and others, controlling the situation,distrusting others, trusting only self, manipulating or charming others into compliance, intimidating and scaring others into compliance, energetically tracking others, detecting any untruthfulness, assessing who has power & how much they have

RIGID
Feels Scared by...
Deviations from the Rules & Forms, chaos and disorder,  imperfection, making a mistake
changes in plans, broken agreements, loss of control, being wrong, being blamed or guilty
uncontrolled play or spontanaety, surrendering into feelings

Tries to feel Safer by...
Performing well, according to the Rules & Forms, enforcing the Rules & Forms on others
maintaining Standards, maintaining Order, planning & executing the plan, keeping agreements, 
keeping everything under control, being right and doing what is right being and doing what is expected

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