Autistic, & Autistic with attention differences in a restaurant following shutdown/overwhelm
Channel: Aucademy
Date: 02/10/2021

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CONTENT NOTES/WARNINGS for video: swearing; vaccination; attention differences impulsive thoughts/talk about flaying human skin

I went for my second vaccine. It was at a big sea cadet venue, with everyone in seats lined up across the hall to get vaccinated.

I had my stimmy, had my earplugs, and I don't have a needle phobia.

I sat for a few minutes waiting and realised I was going into shutdown and trying not to cry because of all the people and noise. 

Typically I would mask and push the tears back and try to dissociate, but I thought, "I have to self advocate", so asked through tears if there was a quiet room.

The nurse couldn't really hear me through the noise of all the people and my mask so I just pointed at my #ActuallyAutistic badge, crying, and she took me to a quiet room (Louis realised something was wrong and came too).

In the room she asked me about autism, so I started to calm down as I could concentrate on my favourite subject and get my vaccine.

Usually I would power through, but I just couldn't that day.

Funnily enough, as I sat down initially, someone I work with in the local NHS was talking about autism, saw me, and said "if you want an expert, she's over there", then I proceeded to have my shutdown 🤣

Following my vaccine I decided I'd calmed down enough, although I was tired, to go to a restaurant with Louis because we haven't done any nice things in over a year, and the video is the conversation we had 🤣

This video is about my having a shutdown and crying at a vaccination centre, it also demonstrates having a conversation with my partner Louis who is Autistic with attention differences, although that wasn't the purpose of me making this short video. 

Yes, there are content notes/warnings for the video as Louis can have very random thoughts he says out loud, but I wanted to show the reality of conversations with some neurodivergent people who are similar to Louis. 

Aucademy is about gentle education, but that does not mean censoring people's lived experiences when those are difficult topics or content. 

Many young neurodivergent people have impulsive thoughts and talk about things similarly to Louis in this video - and it is ableist to assume they grow out of it, or that there's something wrong or inappropriate about that impulsivity. 

I have put content notes so that you can decide whether you are able to listen to someone with attention differences casually talk about flaying human skin, that is a choice everyone is entitled to. But I won't censor people like Louis and his lived experience. 

Chloe - @Aucademy ❤