Homosexuality as Othering Failure
Channel: Prof. Sam Vaknin
Date: 2023-11-29

Are All Homosexuals Narcissists? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JCu1608fhbY

We are all pansexual, but we integrate all these sexual predilections and then differentiate (develop sexual orientation and preferences). Some orientations remain repressed, other latent, and one prevails, is dominant and manifest. This is merely a nosological effect: it is real.

The Other triggers and then actualizes potentials interactively (emotions, affects, cognitions, behaviors, unconscious primary processes). When triggering becomes overwhelming, we get autism: the avoidance of Othering. Same in BPD. 

Integrated and differentiated sexual identity is triggered and actualized with the same potentials similarly via object choice. 

Integrated and differentiated sexual identity is he outcome of Othering and activated by Others.

Sexual identity diffusion or disturbance (failure) are forms of narcissistic Othering failures of an Integrated and differentiated sexual identity. Contra to Freud and Frommer who suggested that object choice is not about who we love but how we love – it is about both. 

Homosexuality is about object choice: a failure of Othering, not narcissistic libidinal investment : the object is NOT loved on account of its similarity to what the subject is, once was, or hopes some time to become. 

Like heterosexuality, homosexuality is anaclitic, being dependent on the object providing what the subject cannot himself be: in the case of heterosexuality an Other, in the case of homosexuality an Integrated and differentiated sexual identity. 

But is homosexuality such a disturbance? Yes, but more precisely not of differentiation. It is a failure of integration. It is an immature or arrested Integrated and differentiated sexual identity. 

Why the failure? Biology, not psychology (as is the case in pathological narcissism). 

Othering sexual objects (in object relations) is modelled on Integrated and differentiated sexual identity. It is rendered impossible in its absence.
 
When formation of Differentiated sexual identity is disrupted, the result is autoerotism, devoid of any Other. It leads to an inability to Other sex objects (relate to them as external, separate objects): an incapacity to actualize intensional emotions, affects, cognitions, and behaviors. 

All autosexuals (Erotic Target Identity Inversions) are autoerotic, but only a minority of autoerotics are autosexual. 

Autoerotism more frequently finds expression via activities such as same-sex partnerships (homosexuality), or incest (which is sex with the living expression of one’s own genetic makeup). 

Gender dysphoria, transvestism, autogynephilia, autopedophilia, and similar paraphilias are all autoerotic.

Fantasy is an attempt to compensate for these deficiencies by Othering oneself or internal objects. The failure of normal Othering (aka incorporation) leads to homosexuality which is a fantasy defense (shared fantasy). 

LITERATURE

WATCH Are You Attracted to YOURSELF? Autoerotism https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DTI5E8Rj3uY

WATCH How Narcissist Others YOU, Himself https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KAUNSMSF9pA

WATCH Narcissists: Homosexual and Transsexual https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w3y45QYKg9k

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