The Art of Cory J. Peak: 36
Channel: coryp
Date: 2021-10-18

Trigger warning; Drugs, Abuse, Sexuality, Violence

Follow link to view all images and text in this series:
https://blizzanthra.blogspot.com/p/36.html

I had been meaning and wanting to create a new body of visual work for some time, as I have been mainly focused on making animated videos, beat tapes, doing band stuff etc. which took up the bulk of my leisure time and creative inspiration for the last couple of years and I hadn't done much standalone work or things that I could make prints of.Shortly before September hit, I decided to do a series of 36 images - correlating with my current age, 36- that were inspired by my life and things that have happened in it, and or memories that I have held onto. Some of these things are very significant and have affected me greatly. Others may be less profound or meaningful and may just be random recollections of times in my life but still have stuck with me for whatever reason. I decided to take this approach to help myself express and let go of some things, to a degree, that have clearly stayed with me and or bothered me over the years. Art is the closest thing I have to therapy and this was intended to be just that for me - Therapeutic. 

Getting some words and images out of my head and onto some digital pages felt good. I cried while writing many of these entries and while drawing these images. Something I have been unable to do easily for some time now, as I must suppress much of my internal worry and distress in order to get by daily as a 'normal' functioning member of society.  Some of these experiences I haven't thought about for years. Some I would be okay with forgetting, others I never want to forget. Most but obviously not all of these occurrences happened prior to my being an adult. Now, perhaps these scenes will live less in my head, causing me to relive the past - but will always be collected in this series for me to look back on if I want to.

This exercise leaves me vulnerable and exposed to those who will read and view it. I think that is an important and beautiful part of art. To let out what is inside for people to experience, speculate upon, relate to etc. - Though I don't think anyone is obligated to share anything they don't wish to - or to view anything they don't wish to for that matter. I simply seek to know myself better and be comfortable in what I am. I absolutely see how these self-absorbed attitudes could be seen by others as narcissism. I get that. However, I feel that all of my self serving/focused endeavors have been in an effort to try to find out what makes me 'tick' and or how I could be a better/happier person - not celebrating how cool or great I am as a person or artist - which are not things i necessarily think to be true anyway. I focus mainly on myself because that is the one who torments me, gives me the most ridicule, the one I am always forced to be with and will not escape til perhaps death. If people are turned off by it, I understand. I am uncomfortable with myself and feel that the more I share with others and am not shamed or shunned for it, the more I feel I am closer to being comfortable in my own skin. And if I am shamed or shunned then I feel it further justifies my internal disgust with myself. So win-win, right?  Also I should note that this is not a cry for help. My self deprecating adjectives are only half-hearted. I am not as pretentious as I may seem.

By the end of this exercise slash project I was quite exhausted of ideas, tired of reaching for fuzzy details from my childhood and writing about them and bored of the whole thing so some of these entries may be scraping the bottom of the barrel a bit but I guess that's a good thing, it means I got a lot out. 

These drawings were all done digitally sometime between early September and October 4th, 2021. The accompanying writings were done during the same timeframe. Obviously doing all of this takes time, thought and editing but I tried to let it all just flow out as organically as possible without too much altering aside from minor touches for aesthetic satisfaction and readability. As of the time of this posting, every image in this collection is available as a framed 5x7" print at either Meg's Vintage Collective in Muscatine, Iowa or White Rabbit in Iowa City, Iowa. Each store has 1 complete collection - meaning 1 print of each image. They may be restocked if demand is high enough, they may not. If you are interested in a print and are unable or unwilling to visit one of those locations - or they didn't have the print you wanted just let me know and I'd be happy to get one in your hands. So, without further explanation or delay - here is '36' - a series of autobiographical images by Cory J. Peak.