Baby Got Back -- Jonathan Coulton at Dingwalls, London, 20 March 2008
Channel: Angela Brett
Date: 02/07/2011

Another video I'd forgotten I had from Jonathan Coulton's first ever UK show: his slow cover of Baby Got Back by Sir Mix-a-lot. It's interesting to watch this now that I'm used to seeing it with Paul and Storm doing harmonies. He didn't bring them over for this first show because if I recall correctly he was flown to Glasgow for some kind of interview and just did a show on the side to make the most of it.

You can get the song from http://www.jonathancoulton.com/songdetails/Baby%2BGot%2BBack

LA face with the Oakland booty 

I like big butts and I cannot lie 
You other brothers can't deny 
That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist 
And a round thing in your face 

You get sprung and you wanna pull up tough 
You notice that butt was stuffed 
Deep in the jeans she's wearing 
I'm hooked and I can't stop staring 

Oh babe, I wanna get wit'cha 
And take your pretty picture 
My homeboys tried to warn me 
But that butt you got makes me so horny 

Ooh, Rumple-smooth-skin 
You say you wanna get in my Benz? 
Well, use me, use me 
Cause you ain't that average groupie 

I've seen them dancing 
The hell with romancing 
Cause she's sweat, wet, 
Got it going like a turbo Vette 

I'm tired of magazines 
Saying flat butts are the thing 
Take the average black man and ask him that 
She gotta pack much back 

So, fellas, fellas 
Has your girlfriend got the butt? 
Tell her to shake it, shake it 
Shake that healthy butt 
Baby got back 

I like them round and big 
And when I'm throwing a gig 
I just can't help myself, I'm acting like an animal 
Now here's my scandal 

I wanna get you home 
And wo, double-up, wo-oo-wo 
I ain't talking bout Playboy 
Cause silicone parts are made for toys 

I want 'em real thick and juicy 
So find that juicy double 
Jonnie C's in trouble 
Begging for a piece of that bubble 

So I'm looking at rock videos 
Knock-kneed bimbos walking like hoes 
You can have them bimbos 
I'll keep my women like Flo Jo 

A word to the thick soul sistas, I wanna get with ya 
I won't cuss or hit ya 
But I gotta be straight when I say I wanna... 
Til the break of dawn 

Baby got it going on 
A lot of simps won't like this song 
Cause them punks like to hit it and quit it 
And I'd rather stay and play 

Cause I'm long, and I'm strong 
And I'm down to get the friction on 

So, ladies, ladies 
If you wanna roll in my Mercedes 
Then turn around and stick it out 
Even white boys got to shout 
Baby got back 

Actually when it comes to females, Cosmo doesn't have very much at all to do with my selection 
I mean, 36-24-36" Maybe, if she's 5'3". 

So your girlfriend rolls a Honda, 
Playing workout tapes by Fonda 
But Fonda ain't got a motor in the back of her Honda 

My anaconda don't want none 
Unless you have got buns, hun 
You can do side bends or sit-ups, 
But please don't lose that butt 

Some brothers wanna play that hard role 
And tell you that the butt ain't gold 
So they toss it and they leave it 
And I pull up quick to retrieve it 

So Cosmo says you're fat 
Well I ain't down with that 
Cause your waist is small and your curves are kicking 
And I'm thinking bout sticking 

To the beanpole dames in the magazines: 
You ain't it, Miss Thing 
Give me a sista, I can't resist her 
Red beans and rice didn't miss her 

Some knucklehead tried to dis 
Cause his girls were on my list 
He had game but he chose to hit 'em 
And I pull up quick to get wit 'em 

So ladies, if the butt is round, 
And you want a triple X throw down, 
Dial 1-900-JonnieC 
And kick them nasty thoughts 
Baby got back