The 7 Principles for Making Marriage Work | Tamil Book Summary | Karka Kasadara
Channel: Karka Kasadara
Date: 2023-08-06

This video is the summary of the book "The 7 Principles for Making Marriage Work" by John M. Gottman and Nan Silver in Tamil.

About the Book:
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is a 1999 book by John Gottman, which details seven principles for couples to improve their marriage and the "Four Horseman" to watch out for, that usually herald the end of a marriage. The book was based on Gottman's research in his Family Research Lab, known as the "Love Lab", where he observed more than 650 couples over 14 years.

In The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, Gottman argues that the basis for a happy marriage is a deep friendship with mutual respect and a positive attitude. He also emphasizes the importance of emotional intelligence in couples.

In the course of the book, Gottman details seven principles for couples to follow in order to nurture their friendship and improve their marriage in order to help them endure during challenging times. These principles include: enhancing their "love maps"; nurturing their fondness and admiration; turning toward each other instead of away; letting their spouse influence them; solving their solvable problems; overcoming gridlock; and creating a shared sense of meaning.

Gottman also writes about the "Four Horseman" that are important to minimize and avoid: 1) criticism, 2) defensiveness, 3) contempt, and 4) stonewalling. Of these four, he warns that contempt is the highest predictor for divorce. He defines contempt as a spouse viewing themselves as better than the other spouse. Gottman defines criticism as attacking a spouse with complaints, defensiveness as usually a response to criticism which results in the defensive spouse criticizing the other, and stonewalling as being avoidant which can manifest itself in the silent treatment, leaving, and not being willing to properly communicate during contention.

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00:00 - Introduction
01:24 - Marital Friendship
03:03 - How to Improve Marital Friendship?
08:14 - Marital Conflict
11:38 - How to Handle Conflicts?

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