Why Do #Adoptees Feel Alone Sometimes with Nancy Verrier - Feeling Alone for Adoptees
Channel: Jeanette-ically Speaking
Date: 2020-01-03

NEW BOOK: What is Adoption? FOR KIDS in PRINT FORM: https://amzn.to/3DIUfhY
FULL Audible Play "What's Your Name, Who's Your Daddy?" https://adbl.co/3qBjsFu

In this adoption video Nancy Verrier helps us understand how adoptees feel internally, genetically and adaptively.

The core self can be rejected internally by the adoptee themselves due to their early separation of "feeling" rejected by their first birth mother. This is psychological, not intentional. It is a defense mechanism devised in the psyche so the baby can survive the abrupt trauma of separation. 

3 Hard TRUTHS:
1. The adoptee must reconcile internally, to adopt themselves and honor their true, core, genetic self in order to be their authentic self in the world. 
2. This will take practice on the part of the adoptee. 
3. It is the adoptee's responsibility to do this for themself. 


HOW TO CONNECT WITH YOUR AUTHENTIC SELF 
by Jeanette Yoffe M.F.T. Adoption Psychotherapist

1. Make a list of what you WANT in your life and what you DON'T want in your life.

2. Speak up for yourself and ask for what you want.

3. Make changes and choices based on gathering information, thinking through the outcomes, and make a commitment to yourself to follow through with your decisions about any Persons, Places & Things in your life.

3. Every day take an action that reflects your deepest needs, wishes, and values.

4. If something doesn't feel good, don't go through with it. LET IT GO and move on to the next need, wish, and value.

5. HARD TO SWALLOW PILL: Not everyone will like you or your idea and that is OK. We cannot please everybody. (be imperfectly perfect and yourself!) You will laugh more. Learn to laugh at yourself and don't take yourself too seriously!

6. State and maintain your boundaries, "I don't want  i.e. yelling...." "I do want to talk, be non-judgmental ....." especially about the level of energy you can handle being around or taking in.

7. Give and Be Kind to yourself with a Loving Kindness 3-minute Meditation now listen here:
https://www.mindful.org/be-kind-to-yourself-right-now/

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https://www.youtube.com/user/JeanetteYoffe/

Learn more about Jeanette Yoffe at 
https://www.yoffetherapy.com/

Visit Jeanette's Amazon Author Page 
https://www.amazon.com/M.F.T.-Jeanett...

Learn more about support for birth, adoptive and foster families in Los Angeles at https://celiacenter.org/

Jeanette is a child/family/adult therapist with a special focus on adopted and foster care challenges which derived from her own experience of being adopted and moving through the foster care system in New York City. Her personal experience has informed her education and provided insight into the unique stresses involved with these issues. Because of Jeanette’s life experience she can more easily connect and relate to the children and teens she works with. She is an exceptional child-care worker who is dedicated to helping each of her clients reach their full potential through mental health therapy and make the difficult journey from despair towards resiliency and hope.

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