i wrote a letter to my younger self...
Channel: bluemoonpearl
Date: 2021-07-07

Hey lovelies, in my last video, I mentioned that I am on an intentional healing journey. This video is a letter I wrote to my younger self, in a bid to give her space and permission to heal. This is one important step in healing your inner c...d, you can always take this and apply it to your own life. Thank you so much for watching!

•transcript•
I have been thinking about her a lot, and sometimes I feel so sorry because she was in the dark for so long and I only just began to love myself

one of the things I have struggled with the most is articulating what I am actually bothered by. I felt so hurt by a lot of things that I couldn't pinpoint how, what, and where I hurt the most. 
one of the activities recommended for healing your inner c...d is writing to her. It helps heal your relationship with the past, provides clarity on your experiences, feelings, and your truth... 

I have been thinking about what to tell the scared, unsure girl I used to be.
I could start by telling her something she never heard, that she is beautiful, not because she's pretty, smart, or kind but because she exists. 
I could tell her that she's wanted, worthy, blameless and although it will take a while, she wouldn't always be in pain. 
I could tell her about love, that she would find a home within herself and learn to live, laugh, dance 
I could tell her so many beautiful things about her future, the lessons, the healing, her bestfriend 
but when I think of that little girl, all she needed was to be held, to be loved, all she wanted was a safe space to exist, to breathe. 

so I have decided to say, thank you
for holding on
for giving us a chance
and believing in me, even when no one believed in you 
thank you for your heart, for loving, giving, even though you lacked 
I am sorry that I ever hated you, that I called you weak and loathed you for being a pushover 
I am sorry  that I blamed you for your anxiety, and judged you for many things outside your control 
I am eternally grateful that you did everything within your power to keep us safe. That you did all you could with what you knew. 

I know it's a bit late but I just wanted to let you know that you are safe now. It's okay to let go, breathe, I've got us, fall apart, I will catch you, 
share your pain, I will hold you, release your anger, I will hear you, and I would love you. 
every inch of you. 
you don't have hide anymore, not from me or the world. Know that you have never been alone, you have always been loved, you will be always be enough and there's absolutely nothing wrong with you. 
I see you clearly and I cover you with my love  from the crown of your head to the sole of your feet, I hope you feel my hands holding you, my being protecting you, my heart thanking you, healing you, teaching you. 
I promise I have grown, I am healing, and I am better equipped to help you heal. I am now opening the door and inviting you to join me in the light, where you deserve to be. 

I love you, and I thank you for being me!

ALWAYS REMEMBER 
a) that before we are anything else, we are first HUMAN
b) EVERYBODY deserves to be treated with DIGNITY AND RESPECT
c) KINDNESS costs nothing :)

• subscribe to my Youtube Channel •
https://www.youtube.com/c/PearlAda

• connect with me •
https://www.instagram.com/bluemoonpearl/

•some Humane Youtube Channels for your sensibilities•

Jubilee Media 
https://www.youtube.com/c/jubileemedia/playlists
The Skin Deep
https://www.youtube.com/c/TheSkinDeep/playlists
Soft White Underbelly
https://www.youtube.com/c/SoftWhiteUnderbelly/videos
Khadijah Mbowe
https://www.youtube.com/c/KhadijaMbowe/videos
Asian Boss
https://www.youtube.com/c/AsianBoss/videos
Thoraya Maronesy
https://www.youtube.com/c/ThorayaMaronesy/videos
Cut
https://www.youtube.com/c/cut/playlists
TreeMan (Street Interviews)
https://www.youtube.com/c/%E5%A4%A7%E6%A0%91%E5%90%9BTreeMan/videos

•music used in my videos•
Aloe Vera - 25 
https://thmatc.co/?l=40B6ECCF

Gus Leifeld - Me and the Moon 
https://thmatc.co/?l=7A6044AD

Ashes to Amber - Arizona Thunder  
https://thmatc.co/?l=B69B65FD

Subtle Triumph - 123 Eighty!
https://thmatc.co/?l=30A7E011

Justin Spight - safe to speak
https://thmatc.co/?l=8F022F11

Gus Leifeld - The Space Around A Mountain 
https://thmatc.co/?l=9F84EA26

Subtle Triumph - We'll All Be Fine 
https://thmatc.co/?l=941F75FF

Naomi - Love Confession 
https://thmatc.co/?l=88FB2514

LuWill - whiskey weeping
https://thmatc.co/?l=407F046B

Andreas Owens - falling & falling 
https://thmatc.co/?l=C02BE832

frumhere - several nightcaps later 
https://thmatc.co/?l=1B7044A6

Naomi - Polaroids 
https://thmatc.co/?l=4D33162A

• contact (Business Only) •
itspearlada@gmail.com

facts about me:
how old are you? - 24 (as of when this video was posted) 
what do you use to edit your videos? - adobe premiere pro
what apps do you use for thumbnails? - photoshop & lightroom
when do you upload? - every week