The dark artist I’m afraid to be  [ SELF TALK ]
Channel: Hasnaa Rhaz
Date: 29/01/2023

The traumas of childhood. 
The nostalgia of the first love. 
Our small tiny realities compared to the infinitely vast universe. 
The loneliness. 
The days passing and our time ending. 
(Fill in the blank)
Fun human stuff. Just writing those made me feel depressed. 

When we are not busy entertaining ourselves, we might, God forbid, feel the sorrow of these dark realisations. When that feeling of sorrow occurs, I believe it should be given time, and it should be given artistic expression.
Art, not only embellishes this nasty darkness inside of us, but it also gives it meaning, and most importantly, releases us from its weight.

But still, this darkness is scary and somewhat threatening. So, most of the time, I choose to numb it with media scroll, or live social fun. Thank God for social fun. 
But when I let myself look at these realisations right in the eye, when I manage to almost trust it, almost love it, I feel...I feel like I step into the dimension that I’ve been told was evil dangerous, but found home in it. I know, creepy. I DON’T wanna find home in the darkness. It’s like, ew. But not doing it is denying one of our polarities. Ya know. 
So I want to be all. I want to be black and white and all the colours in between. I want to be silly billy and serious deep and freaky. I want to laugh and cry. I want to live and die. I want to risk it to take the biscuit! Ok you got it. I’m gonna stop typing. Enjoy one more of my inner conflicts. Yey!