Narcissist: YOU are my REALITY, SAFE WOMB! (Excerpt)
Channel: Prof. Sam Vaknin
Date: 2021-02-01

Intimate partner enters the shared fantasy in order to facilitate the narcissistic solution to the schizoid state: serve as fetishized womb (mother) and affirm the reality and veracity of the False Self. She is misperceived as external object, when actually the narcissist internalized her to guarantee her functioning and prevent abandonment. 

Narcissist internalizes all external objects. So Madonna Whore complex is not a splitting defense directed at external objects (women), but at an internal one: the self is split to all body and all mental (Guntrip). 

Abandonment is equivalent of birth: being forced back into the world and external object relations. Hence the extreme anxiety, decompensation, acting out, and protector self-state (secondary psychopathy). 

Full video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJ9y5yU8Xho

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