AITA for deferring an issue with a female Muslim student to a female colleague?
Channel: Story Time
Date: 2023-01-28

AITA for deferring an issue with a female Muslim student to a female colleague?

I (36M) and my wife moved to our area seven years ago for my wife to pursue a job opportunity where the population happened to be exclusively white. In the last couple years or so, we've had an increase in the non-white population, including the first Muslim students I've had since before moving here--I grew up in an ethnically diverse area, so not being surrounded by multicultural people and restaurants has been an adjustment.

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I teach high school science, and my two Muslim students are cousins I'll call Amira and Nadia (fake names). I'm not well versed in religion, since my area of expertise is sciences, but I'd like to think I have some basic knowledge of major religions.

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Today, Amira was out sick, so it was just Nadia in my class. The kids were working on a worksheet while I was trying to get grading wrapped up and submitted, and when I looked up, I realized Nadia's head covering had shifted and hair on her forehead was exposed. I panicked and looked away as soon as I realized. I would have asked Amira to take Nadia into the office between my classroom and my female colleague's next door to fix it. But without Amira there, I ended up ducking into my colleague's classroom and disrupting her class (I waited until she acknowledged my presence and then waved her over to speak to her quietly) to ask her to please bring Nadia into the office to fix her head covering and I would keep an eye on her class. My colleague, Mrs. Smith, asked why I couldn't do it, and I said, "Because I'm an unrelated man." She made a weird face at me but eventually said, "fine" and went to go get Nadia. When she came back, she was not at all polite when she said, "It's fixed." I thanked her and tried to brush off her attitude, and I asked Nadia to stay back a moment after class, just long enough to apologize if I embarrassed her. She said it was fine and left.

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I got home at 3:30, but at 6 pm I got a call from my principal, Mrs. Waters, outside of working hours telling me that Mrs. Smith had complained about my unprofessional conduct regarding Nadia and that I am expected to attend a meeting on Monday with her, Mrs. Smith, Nadia, and her parents to discuss what should be done about my actions. I asked what I had done wrong; she refused to elaborate beyond "unprofessional conduct". I told her I expected my in-building union representative to be present at the meeting, or I would not go, and she said she would email our building rep.

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I feel ambushed. I don't know even know what I did wrong, and I'm not going to lie, I'm really upset and anxious right now. AITA?

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