The Locomotive Man
Channel: Zack Valence
Date: 2021-12-01

Hahaha! They said it couldn't be done!
Whoever said wheels can't be square ought to be rolling in their corpsebox! Poppycock! Bwahaha!
Which gives me a tremendous idea!
Hmhmhmhm! Yes!
The kinetic potential of coffins has truly yet to be explored!
This must be investigated at once, I haven't the time to stand here lollygagging, no! The decidedly cuboid wheel of fate waits for no man! Hahahah!

Have you heard have you heard have you heard?
He's coming to town! Who's coming to town?
The man in the gown you can see him around
He's walking along with a hat on his crown
Just look at him go! Isn't it neat?
He's gliding along on the wheels in his feet!
He'll bid you good day but don't get in his way!
His incredible speed shall blow you away!
You can tell by his gait he's got no time to wait!
Just give him a board and away he shall skate!
E's a wonderful gent wiv an onest intent
there's really no telling just what he'll invent
It's a common affair that his flaming red hair
will draw quite a stare as he flies through the air
His genius is truly a sight to behold~
So sit back and watch as the wonders unfold!