With UZI Emily...
Channel: Old classic wildmanchris200
Date: 2020-11-03

IF it wasn't for this fucking unbelief I'd want Him.  I'd be able to come  ...  623 229 7642 I have been trying to come back to Christ, trying to trust Him.  Given a double-heart because of this darkness that I was reborn with when I renounced Christ, against the slight plea in me not to.  There's stimm something in me that wants Jesus, but it is like it was when I could NOT DIE TO MYSELF.  I have a hardness that doesn't want Him to save me, but I hunger for Jesus!   His love!  I woke up feeling an incredible coldness, unbelief, disconnect from Jesus.  Struggling to believe in the sinlessness of Jesus but I cannot believe.  It seems the more I cry out, the further Hod withdraws, and the more into unbelief and coldness I sink.     ---   I went off on a tirade of curses, saying, "Lord, if I've crossed this [expletive] deadline, at least give me my [expletive] dreams!  Your love for me was not powerful enough to save a hard nut like ME 


I went off on a tirade of curses, saying, "Lord, if I've crossed this [expletive] deadline, at least give me my [expletive] dreams!  Your love for me was not powerful enough to save a hard nut like ME