Virginia Argus — Richmond, Va., 1810-09-04 00:00:00, page 3

proper tn believe niyn*elf the devil thus
horned anil thus (ailed, and demand
satisfaction for an affront supposed to
' he put upon hi why' our pencil, it is
hereby proqjaiqffed that such person
y ^age shall be Wet in mortal combat by
„ the champiqA of oUr club; for, be it
universali*' known to. man and woman,
that we kftve procured from Signior
Falconi/tthe celebrated and ingcuious
Italian philosophical mechanic, an Au~
. tomaton of unconquerable courage, who
Aj^had had much experience in dueb, ha
W* ving received divers bullet shots thro*
his head, the holes whereof still re
main, without the least detriment to
the said Automaton, to the worider &
admiration of all ihe porfessors of sur
gery who have seen or heard of his
prowess. This champion will be rea
dy to meet, in an honorable way, any
gentlemau who may be offended at our
proceedings, secundem artem, accor
ding to a new theory broached and
propagated by a Doctor of Medicine,
who has been admitted a member of
v \ our fraternity, and whereby the un
successful party in a duel will be put
death in all the delights of agony ;
that is to says with rolling eye balls,
writhing muscles, deranged nerves, &
an enchanting quiver of the flesh, sim
ilar to the delectable spasms of an ani
mated beef-steak, served up in the best
Airican manner to a king of Abyssi
ni t. As the pleasures to be derived
from this improved method of killing
an antagonist do not enter into the
present enjoyment of our club, and as
* we cannot permit to our champion the
least emotion of felicity which we do
not permit to ourselves, we have com
manded him, in order to insure obe
-,- .. --- — ea
expeditions ot tins nature to divest him
aeii ot brains,heart & bowels, (these be*
ingot no manner otusein such affairs,)
\fcr the saie-keepiDg ot which, until the
v* return ot the Automaton from the field
k o* battle, our club has provided an
especial officer, who, by the way, is a
• famous chemist.
In laying the principles of action of
the Literal y Club be lore the communi.
tu, vve have been at a loss how to
commence.* Some wete for begin
ning at the foundation of the world,
and, tracing the progress ot clubs up
to the* present perioi, shew in the se
quel the superiority of our institution
over all others ot the kind; in which
case, a member who is deeply read in
tt>4moguny, rtmarkin', we might as
V' tne first club was unquestionably
t%#clUb of Cain, wherewith Ab.-l was
slain. There is no dojubt indeed, that
* it was a club which killed Abel; but
there has been so much refinement in
the application ef duos since the inci
dent occurred, that, although they
should be directed against the head,
(which, in some sort, will be the course
of our proceeding,) there will not be
the leafet danger of death even to the
softest heads, for we have made it a
fundamental rule to touch them m tht
gentlest mariner possible. However,
not tc digress too much, we could
nor think of searching into remote an
tiquitv for doubtful lacts, in ordei
therewith to introduce our society intc
notice; and finally, after much com
versation as to style of thought anc
turn of composition, during which oui
president scraiched all the hair Iron
one side of his wig in his zeal to fine
new conceits, it Was resolved to come
I out in a grave, lorm.il, sdeipn man
aw, with unqualified dignity, so as t<
mvkt a proper impression and pre
v. tit even a suspicion that we intern
any thing like ridicule, sarcasm, orui
becoming mirth ; and to behave,in al
respt-cs, like those young ladies wht
are daily, and even hourly tutored bi
their goodly mothers, that when thei
sire in company they must always st
tip straight and look pretty.
In the fir*t place, then, it is hereby
announced, that our club docs no
nit an to write by club, but by singl
head-, for we have ascertained beyont
atl dispute, that an addhiotv'nf head
will not produce an addition of sense
or, in other words, that two fools* head
wul notui i'if anise one. According
ly, each of our members has resolvei
to trade upon his own stock ; and ha
appropriated to himself one of the fe:
fers of the alphabet. This conceit, i
, 1 is acknowledged, i* an old one; anc
ir. preference, wr should have chose
1 the mode adopted by the distinguishe
jj.embcr.% of the cabal in England, c
which the earl of S lafti sbury was on
i —hut, on examination, it was foun
that the initial letters of all our name
were SU9I1 rough consonants that the
• would spell no word whatev r ; where
by the pious reader may know that ther
is no necromancy in our association
because, where there is no spell ther
can b& no enchantment. Bat nevei
Htnclesff, that the public may be cm
* bled to gue-ts at our true names, w
* deem it c »ndid, at least, to publn
the real f»r-t letter of ea< h, that is I
•ay, q, K, Ci, T, W, E, As, howeve
, s + * % 1
Wc could frame no word rrbm dec
letters, our club proceeded to the sr-1
ilection of aigoal initials quite fantasti
cally. One member selected the Ho
man capital Y, because it resembled,
he said, a wine-glass ; and, being some
what a wine-bibber, the idea was very
|c^i genial to Mm. In truth, he was go
uig on tcxexuk in an extravagant man
[tier atjthe ingenuity of the thought,
j when he was all at once cut short by a
i member who had chosen for his aigua
j ture the letter X, and who triumphant
; ly remarked that his choice represent
I cd two wine-glasses ! For my part, I
confess, without any concealment what
ever, that I have appropriated to my
self the Homan capital letter Z, no>on
ly because it is composed of three sim
ple lines (in which I have ahVays
thought there was prognostic of happy
fortune,) but more especially from re
collecting an expression in a very good
I bdokvvdiichdeclares diat.theyTrsf shall
be^a^lj and whereftjpm I have inferred
that the lait shall bejfirst* There may
be a Uttle mixture of ambition as well
as whimsicality in the motive to my
selection ; but at the same time, it must
be admitted that I Have not (as may
have been noticed in a certain class of
persons who get by rote the whole ca
techism of consequential airs,) impu
dently thrust myself into the first
place. In religion, morals, politics;
and, particularly, in fashions, we too j
often find Z at the head of the alpha.
bet.
To proceed* with all possible brevu
tv, the radical basis, of our club is no.
thing more nor less than an improve
ment upon the doctrine of the illustri
ous Doctor Qall, or £??///, who, after
jfhcyjyeyf deady could tell bv an cx.»^
mina^ion of persons’ skulls whether
thpy wore virtuously or viciously ia
clirtqd ; that is, 4>v the indentations or
, protubergpees of the bones of the head,
j and by tne localities of those indenta
j tions and protuberances* the said Doc.
; tor Gall could tell the peculiar intellec
I tual qualities of the person. One of
| our members, a very saga, ious 8t deep
thinker, reflected, that although it was
very useful to find out these qualities
of a man aftet' he was dead, yet that it
would be quite as beneficial to ascer
tain them whilst the man was living;
because, thought he, (as he has often
told me its confidence,) a dead man is
preyed upon, whereas a living man of
j evil pi opensities preyeth upon others.
Hereupon he collected a few of his ac
quaintances, from which collection
our club hath sprung. In discussing this
idea touching skull*, we have penetra.
ted the subject something deeper
than Doctor Gall; for we have dis
covered that by perforating the bone
[ (a thing not at all injurious to thick
skulls) we arrive at the brain, and
| are enabled to perceive its opera
j tions and influence on the muscles of
I the face, so that we sh.ill be compe
j tent to give to our read-rs the most
( satisfactory rules for knowing human
, nature in all i<s little tricks and con
trivances* as well as in its more noble
features, We set out with this funda
meatlf'maxim*—*-that the brain is ori
i giiAll^ot a wjiitish complexion ; and
thaw in proportion as any bad passion
i | swajV^the vwftdlect it becomes disco
■ 1 red | lor example, the brain of a bul
i ly becomes reddish; that of a ptrjon
I who secretly goes about to defame the
: reputation of another, a dirty yellow \
■ that of a lover in despair, of a sky blue j
> that of a furious party politician, a
. deep scarlet with black spots ; and sc
I on. But as we intend to devote one
« entire essay hereafter to this subj ct,
1 we shall say no more about it at this
) time.
r From this concise exposition of out
motive and object, it will be seen tha
f our intentions are salutary. It ha:
betn suggested to us, indeed, that vvt
, ought to have undertaken the heart in
t stead of the head* But that is rather i
. J delicate thing to meddle with ; and
j when the head is not well weeded
i there are so many avenu s to the hear
. (aot particularly to tint of the fair sex
* besides that of pen, ink, and paper, tha
any attempt of the sort would be truh
j a forlorn hope. The hearts of man]
5 are captivated throngh their stomachs
those of others by fine clothes and fim
t coaches j and in such a variety of way
more agreeable to the frailty of morta
^ flesh than the channel of literature, tha
j no genius nor industry in the latte
j way could possibly prevail. But ther
B is always a chance for the heart whe
, the head is well regulated ; and it vA
s beputi&pecial duty to keep that as clea
' fr^fn l\ul-stains as possible.
- iTike 'Sterne’s uncle Toby, we sha
e do every thing systematically and wit
; due deliberation. We shall only go t
e i press once in each week, taking car
■- to observe three sage ivaxims in uil on
i- compositions: 1. Always to write oti
e essays in a clean shirt. 2, Never to b
h witty when wt- are dull. And, 3. N<
r> ver to det.l in fiction, unless it will ar
f, ’ awer a better purpose than truth.
lattnr, being a practical political rule,
will, it i* supposed, meet the approba.
‘ion of all classes of virtuous citizens.
» ' * - Z. '
■ M ** ‘ * 1 *
exm
Lucien Bonaptrie, it is reported,
fays the New York Mercantile Ad
vertiser, intends tu emigrate to Ame
rica.
CONGRESSIONAL ELECTIONS.
The following will be the Memherb
fro.m North Carolina in tho 12th
^Congress.
wchajd Stanford; William R.*King,
Vatnkinel Macon, Archd. M’Brvde,
Wllli^ Alston, Meshark Franklin,
TJiom^s Blount; Joseph Pearson,
Lemuel Sawyer, James Cochran;
Wm. BUtkledge, Israel Pickens.
All republicans except Mr. Pearson
and Mr. M’Bryde. ./ *
In New-Eugland the elections take
place in the following order, viz—
New Hampshire, (general ticket)
last Monday in the present month.
Rhode>Island, (gtneral ticket) last
Tuesday in ditto.
Verirtoat; (districts) first Tuesday
in Sept.
Connecticut, (general ticket) third
Monday in ditto.
Massachusetts, (districts) first Mon
day in November.
Here, the hopes of federalists are im
bo3omrd—here, the conflict must ne
cessarily be sharp; the issue we hope,
Jecisslve ! honorable! republican !
—— Boa. Pat.
SENATE.
The ter/ins of sei vice of the follow-;]
ing n^nxl era of the National Senate,
wilj expire with the lith Congress,
Manchji, *811, vi/.—*
t Nicholas Gilman, New-Hamp
shi r**.
* Thimothy Pickering-, Massachu
setts.
Elisha Matthewson, Rhode-Island.
Johu Condit, New-Jersev.
* James A. Bayard, Delaware;
William B. Giles, Virginia.
James Turner, N rth-Carolina*. ,
’Thomas Sumpter, South-Carolina.
William H. Crawford, Georgia.
Henry Clay, Kentucky.
t The Legislature of. New-Hamp
shire have re-elected Mr. Gilman for
another term.
• * Federalists. i.
FROM BUENOS AYRES.
Oapt. Tunison, at Salem, from Bue
turn -Aa^res, states, that—“The inha
bi&ntXpf Buenos Ayres had, like those
of^Caftaccas, assumed an independent
station*'deposed the Vice King acting
under the commission of the Supreme
Junta of Old Spam, (whose authority
was considered as annihilated by the
successes of the French) forme'd a pro
visional government of their own, till
Ferdinand should be restored—Sc sent
deputies throughout the province to
solicit a co-operatirn. Though loyal
.y to Ferdinand VII. was professed,
an absolute and perpetual independence
of Old Spain was understood to be the
real design among the leaders. Every
thing was conducted without violence,
and a vast majority were in favor of
this step. It took place in May.”
S ib.
\Vmity in'disguise*
Ulhippily for mankind the present
state Sr the word cximbits the singular
phenomenon of (wo gfea" powers oppres
s ng'the whole human species under tht
1 colour of war agatqft each other. France
and England caj# do very little harm
comparatively speaking to each other.
The atmies of France lay the conttnen
t of Europe under the most enormous con
i ti (bunions tn support and enrich them,
: while the naval force of Eng and extort;
. the same tr.bu.e from the corftfherce o
, the world. The mass of the people bn f
.o France and England suffer in com.
mon with those of other countries—>bu
’ the policy of paying any regard to the
. in:erect of the people is almost abandon
' ed even in pretence* A negociation i<
1 said to be on foot between these twt
powers j bu> with little expectation ar t
r perhaps as little desire on either side
{ that peace should be the result.
: It would not be the strangest, atnonj
s he strange things of modern times, shouii
] this sham negoeia »on end in a settlei
t understanding between the Mnchavelian
r of the two cabinets, to prosecute the «a
e for the mu ual interest and aggrandite
^ meri^of both. The stubborn pride of tlv
I kttiB.of the isles, may yet be eompellet
to yfyjd the palm ot ambitious usurpatioi
r »n the conqueror of the continent* Foie
seeing, ^e*haps,, such an event, the pen
|1 ctratmg sagacity of the first consul e
h France in his artful conversation with Ion
i, Whitworth, spread ihe net for British va
e nity and cupidity, as • subordinate powe
f had paved the way for its final co.opera
tion with the fu-ere emperor of the Ho
r man*. The exhangc of prisoners, an
c the licenced trade between France am
' England, are foremost among those no
- lortous acts of reciprocated counisy
e which already make it maaifast, whatc
1#
ver rosy be the motives, that thesis war
ing nations treat each othci at least with
uore respect thin they do (heir acknow.
edged allies, or those wh>;m tltcy ituuli
with the name of friends- The »e*ult »-l
real or fcigtud rencounter, left to the
management rtf the generals.' Massed* on
one par:, a. d Wellesley on the other, may
throw new hght oo our politics* specula,
•'on. Boat. Patriot.
Princes have, ever since the disco
very of printing, deemed it an object
of primary importance to subject the
press to the most nrbitarv restrictions,
well knowing that it is the most effici
ent engine through which the flash ol
intellect and the thunderbolt of reason
can Ire hurled at their impious sway.
The press has been justly, termed the
lever of science—science is the hand
maid of freedom, and a foe to arbita
ry power, the prop of which is ignor
ance. As darkness in the physical
world is the absence of light, so is ig
norance in the moral world, the ab
sence of knowledge. Hence for a na
tion to come gently under the yoke ot
slavery, it is absolutely necessary to
extinguish the lamp of science & throw
society back into dark ages of fhouk
ish superstition;
To establish thfe accuracy of the a
hove hypothesis we have only to recui
to a late decree of the emperor ol
France, regulating the press, through
out his dominions of wh|ch the follow
ing is the substance.
The business of printing and book
'elling is declared to be under
inspector general, assisted by six au
ditors suf ject to his control, and other
suoonunate agents..
The number of pointing offices after
the^Iat January, 1811, is to be reduced
throughout the empire—the numbt-i
ifPari, to be sixty ; each office in Pu
ri^s^restricted to four presses, in the
departments to two each. The prin
ters who»e offices are suppressed, to
receive an indemnity from those con
tinued. Printers and Booksellers tc
produce vouchers of good ch »r.icter,
receive a patent and be sworn In
filling vacancies preference is to be
given to families of deceased printers,
1 he minister of police, prefects of de^
partments and special censors are au
xiliaries to carry this grand engine oi
despotism into effect. The censor ex
amines, erases and reports; the pre.
lects and minister of police suspend
and the director general decides upor
the publication of any work. If anj
work be commenced and the publica.
tion thereafter be prehibited, the prin
ted sheets to be seized and the typei
composed as the printers would say
be thrown into pie. A duty of fiftj
per cent ad valorem on all French anc
JLa.in books permited to be imported,
No books printed or reprinted out o
France, to be imported without a per
miu Copy rights secured to author
and their widows during life? and w
their children for twenty years. Copi
rights transferable. The firsx volum<
of every work imported, io be stpmp
etl. Every wotJc^^nced to be print
ed, to have title page
the name of 'fTiiown,
the same of omiss’o
of the latter incrirs tftys aiicl cohfi tcati
On. Each Drilltt-r tri rlrnnm> rn
pies of the works he may be licenced
to publish for special purposes, in the
prefecture of tne department in which
he resides, and in Paris in the prefec
ture of police. Printing, bookselling,
typefounding, book-binding and ail
connected therewith, qre comprised in
the decree and subject u> future dis
positions. There are many other mi
nutiae of mincfr consequence which we
have omitted to notice.
Balt. Amer,
By an arrival at Baltimore from Am
sterdam, the official account of rhe
abdication of the throne of Hol
land, by Lot/is Bonaparte, is re
ceived. Iiis son Louis Napoleon,
under the regency of the Queen, is
to succeed him:
PROCLAMATION.'
I Haarlem, July 1, 1810.
, “ Louis Napoleon by the Grace of
Gcifl, the constitution of the kingdom,
; Jciilg of H • Hand, Constable of France.
1 Cohsi^ingthat the unfortunate state
Min wfiicn this country now is, ari es
1 from the,<fftplca ure which the emp*
r ror my brother has conceived against
* rne ; considering that all endeavors
j and sacrifices on my part to supporit
, his state of things, have been fruit -
. less ; consideringlastly, that it cannot
. he doubted that the course of the pre
f sent state of things is to be attributed
j to my having been unfortunate enough
to dripleise my brother, and to have
r lost his friendship, and that I there
• fore am the only obstacle to the t«-r
• mination of the incessant differences
* and misunderstandings :
We resolve that we at this moment
, resign our rank and royal dignity over
. this kingdom ol Holland in favor ot ou
(
much beloved son Napoleon' L'-uis, i
and in default of whom, in favor i f hi* 1
brother Charles L U.* Napoleon,—
Further we require, tha' in pxir^u mcc
of the constitution under the guarantee
of his majesty, the emperor our li<o
therj the regency shall remain with her
majesty the queen, supported by »
counqil of regency which shall provi
sionally consist of our ministers, tc*
whom we confide the protection of the
infant king, until the arrival of the -fi
queen: We further order, that the
different corps, of our guard under the
command of lieut. gen. Bruue and oT
gen: Sels, shall continue to do duty
under the infant king, as well as the
great officers of our kingdom and ail
royal functioned,” &c.
“ The present act don6 and conclud
ed, & signed by our hand, shall be trans
mitted to the Legislative body, and
then deposited copies shall be taken, Sc
these letters be published in a 1 gal
manner, and in the customary for
(Signed)
“LOUIS NAPOLEON.”
London, July 9.;
Thiii mofning, Mr. Cobbett was
brought up tOiTeceive judgement in the
Court of King’s Bench and also his
printer and publisher. The court was
crowded in the extreme, and it was
with.great difficulty that the prisoner
could be put to the bar. Judge Grose
was t#ry severe on Mr. C. wh»tn he
sentenced totwo years imprisonment in
NeSvgate, to pay a fine of lOQOl. abd to
give^ecurity for keeping he prace for
7 Vrar« kimcplf tn ‘UlfVll Rr ttun emu.
ties in lOOOl e tch—The sentence on
the other parties w it three months im
prisonment, and to give security for
their tuiure g.»od behaviour, them
selves in 2001. each, and their two sure>
ties in 1001. each.
Married—On i hnrsday the 23d
ult. bv the Rev. John D. Blair, Mr.
JAMES REA 1 , to the much admir
ed Miss CA l HAKINE P. STRO
BIA, all of this city.
Miawni—ga—giLi1..-’.-«!..!Lm^.^_i-gTBD
t
Richmond Theatre.
On Wednesdey Evefl^g, vnll be present*
ed, a Grind DramaCir/erspeieed v.ith.
Song, Gance and Chowi, called
THE FORTY yTUlEVES. f
1 Mustapha^ the cobler,/>y ^Mr. Twaits!
i To which will be added, the much admi
red Entertainment, called
i ■ High Life below Stairs.
} ”
r Doors to be opened at 6, and
l the ."rformance to begin at 7 o’clock.
tjt Tickets to be had at Mr. Da"
F vis’s Printing Office, and at the thea
■ tre.
: WOOL CARDING.
; I 'HE Public are respectfully informed*^
th 't there is now in operation uR
Watkins’s Mills in Goochland county, e.
bcut three miles above lolms n’s SpOneJ a /
» MACHINE for CARDING WOOL iI
l ROLLS.—The price for carding is snkf
■j pence per lb. Those sending wool to thiO^
Machine are requested to have it cleaned
of trashy and greased at about the propnr
non or one pouna or larti io every twelve
pounds of wool..
Goochland, Aug. 29, 1810 8tw p,
RS REGARD.
ond,this day.
POCKET |
>llar Note on j
;he Virginiau^^ a number of I
papers which can beyof iV use to any •
person but the Saa crifner. Z^yill give ttie
abt»ve reward to ■•«prsnn \^o will de„
liver the Pocket Btvok ad its contents to
either Mr. John H. Strobia or Mr, Rich*
ards n Taylor, of Ricnmcmd
HOWARD HJLLINGTON.
Aug, 31, 1810. 1 p.
TAKEN OP by the subscriber in the
L wsr end of Pittsylvania county, on
Dan River, one
BAT MA R
adjudged to be seven years old, a
feet eleven inches high, and mark
vmad s ar in her forehead, and so
Saddle spots, and has been rincke.
praised to Sixty Dollars, the 14th
April, 1810.
JOHN LEWIS.
Pittsylvania, August 3d, l.1 10. wit
PATENTED HaTison County LANDS Foe
SALK—In pare -Uo** from 590 to 50^0
acres each Aij'r, LANDS in P.u s II counfy «
in similar *r*e*s, to sui' pu chaters. gjl
Property in or a joy Richmond, wouhl vA ta. g ,
ken m exchange for me atxve. Enquire o| f
D, DO if L£, the Academy.
August 24. w3t
t^ou SALE—The HOUSE
LOT at present occupied by
tafin Qoodwin, at Rocketts.
, Kiso-tThe LU 'lHE.f HOI
.(Ijaining Penny’s 1
at present occupied by
Werth. _
1 erms may be known bv applying to
FOSTER fc SAtGCIELL.
s«pt. 3, lfcl**, -vyU