Alexandria daily gazette, commercial & political — Alexandria [Va.], 1810-06-09 00:00:00, page 2

" Aye! and 'tia the' Mother of Know
ledqe," intermpte Mr. Dapper. " Demme.
Fluner, il' l don't fancy ] aee our And! Beet,
si Book-worm he!-again: on the whirling of
the apherea; or the infinite divisihility of
ss man: pen-ﬂying to a degree!"
Aa it would he the height os impolicy'end
Nunnce it. me, David Devious, who am ab
" 'lately god-precipitately uahered into Day.
to depart from theae tonnieh personages, who
- atand, ] asaure my Readera, at the very
" top and round"_of all that is modiah, [shall
pmdently hold my peace, and publish sot- .
their edifieation a letter on this subject which 4
] reeehed within the laat week iron: my
cond Home—am ; premiaing however that
! shall notuctzonaider mysell keepen-idle for
any homely or aeemingly odd idea of my
you: of a cousin.
My Whiooable readen, meat 'of whom L
perhapa have experienced that sudden remi
aion of the blood to the hurt which 'auo
ceeda. the anaouncing of a country comin'a
jane, will-tart with aympathedc 'llorrerr at
learning, that ! was lately aurpfiaed by a visit
from my mtiehinamanmhoae warmth osat
cum-mu- ownfireaide condemn-4
teen year: had I!!! ne little expeetation of his
eveeqeinuapdilgthe air of saahiooable life.
Howfar itagred'ith'him 'mw sum
his epiatie which "na-w have been pained
under the fresh reoollectiollof ! w, lt
si'whichha hadthe fortunetoasaiatundwhich
he ded-fed with out were! on mine ;
me. wmldeakfeithintol muwa-M'
next fifteen year: to me.
_ any, inned of— Mrs. Fish-ty'd duke-work
! .. Titus-Thy.
'f'll Denis De'vtooe, by -
' 'si—tto; n. _
-wkmosi.;gmot Red-odd:
the of lubdodgofthe Breech of\
the the Commekoe of. Hent-, the
Bold os friendship, end the (keepeth! of
Means Wit. - (Bett- M] .ss
I'l' is osioly the but of- thu'eþrop'o-ifim
that thilke-den "of the Day will feel dign-ed
to went (0. A! "th' Ten, the Wound: ct
will lough, the Sfmple willwoockr, endthe'
\Vise will sigh. The men of hest-m will
protwtioee them q-izzml to : degree; the
Simple will wonder that hie own notions of
Connrntion were so dil'erent : the Wiee
will sigh ettheoontrast of whltitehould be,
and what it in. 5 *
1 do not know in what old suhioned egeþr
inwhet tribe of quence out author got hu
notioon of eonverution ; but my readers will 1
decide'with me thet they are perfectly ridi.
eulout end outree to the Day, end will not, I
beg, suspect Mr. Devious of my other deeign
in ushering in Me Day with this sage defici
tion, then of demonetntiog how oddly, fan
cisully, and unneth/dy philosopen will come
tinns talk.
.. The daughter of nen-ming," : think-X
hear Mr. Flutter exdeim, " 'fore Ged, :
very nreidee. excellent, 'poo honour! edi
sying indeed! mtly cunning, I take, 'twould
be, to h'eer one tyilogizing in : queeze, and
eettling promises and conclusion: at a bell;
. superlatively ineidee, Iprotest." - ct
?
.WPZWW"usshu'-si
wsi yu man-m
MN— Month-nue in
Msiictctphnnmmctsshsi:
?" 51- ol you!-dawned
MÞ.de-W
- M M'H-UWMW
mctctmmgzlsiuimctw
you! neverm
"two! whet- l med
domyvishout motion-ty mon-um for
** "thank God, my den-Days!
m once mote coulde-able in:] an elbow
- . - -.o-*\
.
4
*—1
"that ] w- half
rid—coin the man With-,
nium w "lin'd den wrapped '
in a me, And: 'whieh' deer? ad notions
and am via'lna When ﬂoating' :- "my 1
fancy. .
You woahshavsse' b'bensi iimithﬂy '46þreued
eouldyou havehnown all tho' seem of
aurpriae, Which-ent and riche-dle that asso
laailed me during my ohaerimtiona on 'eq-Rzggf
-'l'heae commence-i with Profeuor Know {all,s
whom the eet'emony of my introduction had
intorruped' on a leeture he wu deliveringwith
much poinp of elocution and assenion on
what, from" eome occasidna'l phraaea thit fell
to the level of my comprehension, as " "sen
tient principle of fitneas, impeceabilit-y of
will and inherent tendeney to right," 'i sup-si
pened might be the dignity of human ndmrc ,
onwhich his auditon bestowed that compla- ,
eent attention Which no" doubt originated in 4
the 'c'onaciomneai of their own Wimsiþeccadili- -
ty of will," "and " infidrent tendency to'Wir
tue, and which "would have rendered the argu
ments of the Professor (who however wisely
for'ebore anysi) altogether superﬂuous.
Hitherto a Dr. Ratio and a Mr. Divedesiep 4
had like myeelf been the attentive auditor: os
Prosenor Knon all: but a question soon arose,
adequate to the great enersigies of their roti
ocinetingsacultiee. " Strange," suddenly ex
claimerl Mr. Divedeep, whose eyes with an
air of prot'ound abttraction had been for (one
momenta fixed on the wall, which from the
dampn'ess of the evening was covered with
moisture, " eurprising 'tis that the bricks of
this wall which' in making have been expoaed'
to the aun'and then to the action of an intente
" Nay," rejoined Dr. Ratio, " that is clearly
impoesible, seeing that there are not less then
a dozen hrick buildings between it'and sny
open space." ;
Here then was what the Doctor mightsshave
termed a dilerhme : that the moisture pro
ceeded from the bricks was certainly astonish
ing ; that it had made its way through a dozen
brick walls appeared equally incredible : there,
nevertheless; siit' palp'ably and indontestably
was. _ :
' \Vhen Imodestly ventured to hin'tthe ﬂ'ue 4
"et-use of the phenomenon, I perceived such a
minute of surprise and sneer in the counte
nance of Mr. Professor as caused me precipi
tately to retreat from the circle of philoso
phers; not without admiring that lofty ton-is
formation ofsdul that stumbledsiover what-lay
under it's nose, and plunged forward into the
presundities of reason to' draw' forth truthe
that outweighed the authority and tontradiet
ed the doetrines'ol' Revelation itself. ,'
'siMy attention was'ne'xt attracted by thectsiu
ent eloquence "of : hot of misses, whose
whole stock of volubility six! sentiment was
elicited -by sone romance of a lady author,
one bliss Owenson, whose sentiments when
'I could dia'eneumber'thern' of a certain clim
-sy superﬂuity of drepery, J'remember to
have struck meas savouring remarkably'olf
ranting nonsense. sissl am ashamed'to tell you
Mouue ] hadbeeninmy taste: tomy'no
small confusion I discovered, that what ! had
sslaughed at as absurd,'was charming, aensible,
witcy—sitheﬂuitnessence "of taste, and what-]
protect to you, my dear Defidsl land Blnshed ;
to think had been perusedby a female was, as ]
Saneho Panza would'hsveespresae'd-it, " the 1
very man "and seem" osif tenderness and
sensibility. ssj
bumidily!"
" if ] may be permitted to diﬀer from the
gentleman," said Mr. Know-all, " I should
rather siauppoae this moltturcte to be the rain
which the driving of the Wd against it has
forced through the wall. " ? ]
stre, Mould: retain ed unto.-tiding a degree qf
!
My mortifie-tion was mspendeﬂ by siuu
.ppnoich of amodkh ond then: figure, the
my sincefulnen of when how and oddma
"and to my memory the Sir Iohn Suck-ss
hop. she knightly and courteous union of ss
she by. os_ wit- xdl-Nf! ad Queen liliu
had; The are! end:?! ?!Yj'! Mew:]
—-*
'm out-um}, in:-m to in" 5" ""
man region he! had-creted himself.
by 1.- Wart-si", were wounded by I
M-OGW of : earl." 'f
si' am in which the man of M
Mþd M- and in which it
5 16 cttbd either-sat gan-adm- dt'
. the min, that the weather was inconveni
Hysih'efinen. Tearl osSeneihisttYlhcmst
inch-ing neven, and bliss Rnstic by far
th'enoatpreputemn G'gnm that had been
seat for a century at least.
Aa these diaquisitiena, hoste-ver intenetinz
"entire intedocntors, were ! confess aofne-si
What layed my rusticated palate, ] ﬂed oﬀ
"toward-asiparty of bloods, who in a corner ol'si
the nobm ihiciﬂhe'y h'ad'appmpriated entire
t'o' themselves,-ctappeared by repeated and vo-ss
oiferoua' bunfa of laughter to derive infinite
delight and merrimeht from each other.
You, who have sooften-seen-me enjoying in
my own elbo'w-chair what our friend Prob'ien
terms the very point, vertex and demonstra.
ble conclusion of a joke, can picture to your-_
'sels the satisfaction which [prepared to en
joy in my 'own element again.' " Demmy
Drinkall," lisped a' buck from the'corner as
I approached, " curse me, Drinky, but thou
{vast d'evilishsi 'zlne'las't night." " Blue," sim- (
pered the other with a waggish smile, " way, ]
\ Dash, thou art horriþly out there, for, stiﬂe
me, if] drank any thing butrrd; which (a— 4
minate: pun was so irsiresistably diverting, that'
"the room instantly was shalten by 'the obstre
perou's merrimentsi of the brother blONIS.—_
When'the spirit of the pun was at length eva
ssporated in reiterated'peals ss laughter, ! (us
not a" little alarmed and embarrassed ( I pray
you ascribe it to my ignorance of ton) by the
significant smilea and audible whispers of iny
sincighbon, whom my unmo—dish appearance
had inspired sswith in'supportable hop-muss—
*'* Pov- Dieu "! a most egregioua bete ! in the
D—l's name what strange planet has the [me
dropped twin! ' is he ant'ediluvisisn !" 'with
quiazica! ahruga, hems and haue-laughs as
sailed me from all sidesywhile ass ctbrace of
War-uglulsid knowing- ones advancing to in
spect me more closely, completed my dis
composure, and draw": me" in despaiyltqthej
opposite side of the room. ]
Here, when recovered from the tumultuous
medley of seelings that had assailed me in the
region of buCkism, ] found myself thrown
into the sphere of politics where ". fst, short
man, with : rotund fsce, was certainly the
star of the' first m'ignitude. " 'Yes," said
this orstor, who was spparentlysi in the mld—_
dle of an animsted speech, " Napoleon is s
very great, a very strange, s very extraor
dinary masin : 'Czsar, Sir, (turning to me) was
a mere trumpeter to him : he hss conquered
greater sikingdoms'injs Campaign, 'Sir, tlsan
Caesar in his whole life."
" You see, gentlemen," continued he, his
hrmy is at Cadiz :"in three weeks he will hold
everysi foot of ground in Sþein :sithen, Sir
England must go ; she can't stand ; she'mdst
fsll ;-—there's no remedy for her."
" He'r navy, however," said e-"g'e'htiemlno
" y'ou'll grmtsi—-—si-*"No,si Sir; interrupted the
orator, ! can grsnt no such thing: it is ss- {
tonishidg to me thst people will not listen to
' man. Why" ! tell ybu.Sir, she must sink-—l
common sense says she will sink; and, Sir,
] promise you it willnot be six mouths before '
'Bompu'te- is in London, Petershurgh—sye,
and Consth'ntiuple too." "The orstbr 'wssss
here'interrupted by the rushing of the cum-i
' my from the into the bell-room, having
*me overwhelmed by the-siluency of his elo
3 quence and the hid-lily of his—conceptions';
while the result of my old-chafious'on the
si converution'of -e squeete was, thst as every
inﬂux men-ed, from the universal use of
'Mllefbfivu, to have reached its scme, con
siversstion hsd participsted in the improve
meat, and reason, irgument and delieoey hsd
in consequence been kicked out of good m
run-"
Ever yours,
_ HUMPHREY HOMESPUN.
My readen by this dncmwdoubc con
vineed dun inany thing like genleellise,
Commin- ssu newfa- the " Dughm of
Red-on," W'tlle".lloshn of [no-ledges"
Mind-north" Bmthostho God," is
anotionchnmbetolenwdooly intieko—
WPYYÞW Wks m
0" **si
!_VHCb my moded] would in: M —_
;P'ssssct, ; (si & UWW _ .
! sscr Bet-tun. 'ÞNO-thuquz.
e ( lodg um Kin— fish-th
[Th' thectpen (: the QMMÞ]
?ht that naeum,—Am on m.
: " tained the "Old of cleni'lm thon
" for it: lady-hente): for in all—na
? " Truth, without. any mind! elm, sue
' si' its-utter!"
——.*.2.-—*
' The novelict does-net "with one certain.
ty poison the female-mind th- do our
more serious and but intent-ned writen.
l NVhd but not bend Bconnt't knelt spoke.
of with admiration! the nvievm have en.
l logiied them, every young lady is each-m.
ed with them; yet they abound with cen
ss, tence: that feed the trinity, increase the
ss- past-lous. and latter the l'oibla o] youth,-..
P'Many of this writer'a sentimenu are excel
l lent: much of his advice forciblc and good;
ss but won of his sentence: nvor too much
j of the Cheetetfsieldean system ; and we see
'the'si'bcwing, tring-ing. smiling disciple of
Cheitetftt Id, when: we ought to see the t'i
' got-(ma, able, diguisud mouitor. He ssde
ss clailm in one page on our accouotahility to
* God,"— on the necessity ot acting from psin.
ciple " on the charme of virtue, the ment is
filled with tentencn like the 'sullowing :
"'Avoi'cl czrd playing, because it will tus, .
ﬂe )our'tcmpen and discomPoac your (ea
'sitsium ; tmd ; tour tis—angry look is more
destructiye to female charmc then un high
tcorbutlc ﬂush or the small pox," ls you
Noble! captivatc then of drink; isyou wigh
"to pleate, be piout;'þe charitable; it give.
an Additiunal brilllancy to your eye., : sine-, .
gle-w to your ('MP/gxmu."
' 'What not! for a" clergtsimmt and : moral.
in to write! one'whosi ought to teach vir
tu'c in the purityolsithe gospel! Why, When
discoursing upon the 'immornl tentleocy t!
card playing." ceed hesi have'alluded to what
girls are apt to make the Prime mo'/er of :
very actiuu—sslthat which aﬀect: external ap
earanct-s ! \
Take that cim of readers for whom Ben
net's letten sre designed, and how smsil .
proportion of them will- be induced, from
the advice there sigh-en, to attempt the sw
ssduous task of being virtuous from pure me.
"tives, with [view (if-preparing themssseites
for usesulnezs here, and happiness hereaf- .
ter ! ctlfby s'ny earlier-means then adhering
to the goepel system, they can-make their
"eye: 'Sstdsifﬂﬂsi and their dwelt blown, the
great end of their existence will be accom
plished; they wiilcuptivate s lover; or se
cure : husband, without regardingthe' [am
sioi rigid virtue. - -
_ Beising : warm advocate for the judieioue
cuitiva'ticm of the female mind."! regret that
"so m'any women of sine-talent: odd superior
improvement, should so often -gire just
cause to the enemies of due-tion, to its
't'eigh against- it. Some give cause by : to
-tsl neglect of domestic excellenciea.; some
by an'unjustisiable eotksiciencein their opi.
nions, setting the laws of proprioty, the
-'mnxin\s' of experience, -and the tenderest
advice of friends at defisnce; and othere,
by an actise'cration of superiority,siproiessing
to seelctnbove 11! attempts [! finding enter
ttinment, except if: the dompnny of the
learned. .
Amobg the many man that-say be an
'aigned for auch miaapyiieation of talenta and
knowledge.-none-iamore obvioua, ! think,
than the mbibi osanch aentimente as a
bove quoted- he garb in which they are
dothed'ino alluring, that they are receiv
ed into the youthful mind with eagerneu,'
and give no alartn to virtue till they have
ahaken in very souodaxion, by implanting
wrong and inlusieiettt motivea of action.—
! would—by ao ateana inser that the author
meant they should have a bad unde-ney.—
They donhtleaa introduced them p neceasa
ry palliativea. for the name man the we
give ample—be to naught! children to
losten the aeveritiea of a whipping. it is
ss generally belieVed that the minde dt women
are loveth that they will not bear the dis
cipline ofziynuc : but me:-be med into
goodneae aaeuraneea theif will
be_ brighter, _-d their lie-fie 3: be
. ? mverzapeeiomlyenthiaanb
ject, ndpwgchnptheneeeuityosalbrbtf
them:-pin a love:-s virtttnbut
blive-"'a!!! M Wind-le
From the Salt-n' Gum:
mount-"Skin..
' '*'.*