The Connecticut courant, and the weekly intelligencer — Hartford [Conn.], 1778-11-10 00:00:00, page 1

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TUESDAY, November io, ±7 jl tHE [Number 720
f I I
{^%)N2% g IIQ u & GOI,
ANb THE
WEEKLY INTELLIGENCE R.
From the NEW-YORK PACKET.
A Parody on the British Commissioners
▼ Manifesto and Proclamation.
±ln mercy Ipare ns when we do cur best
&'To make as much wahe paper as the rel
Juvenal.
To public bodies and to all
That colonies we late did call ;
Eden, Sir Harry and my Lord!^
(All men of mighty power in word)
Do write unto the world at Urge,
This long last speech and dying charge!
^TTHEREAS we've found, that certain folks
VV Will neither mind or bribes or jokes ;
Nor be persuaded with their betters.
How sweet it is to walk in fetters;
But hind resolved still to midake
The kindly overtures we make,
'' Union of intereff and force;"
Call me aphyfica-of difeourfe,
Ahho' state wordy exceeding Drewd
When well explain'd or underwood,
Which mean -that you may Lil be free,
And we retain supremacy—-
---Thus matters they divide and square
And give to each his proper ffiare:
---You ffiall build veiDls at your ease,
And we will fend them—wherc we plea'.e,;
We'll stamp ne^s-papers---you Dial read em ;
We'll reap your h6ids--,-and you. Ihall teed eat;
We'll thump u^on war's brazen kettle,
Aad you fyh come to fight the battle;
And thus by little and by lotic
Unite our interc^ to a tittle.-
But rudet,being haul'd and treated
By fellows who're in Congress seated,
In three weeks we've resolved to go
Far England --with cur Minhefto;
All but Sir Harry dur colleague,
Whefe duty war is and fatigue.
---We hate the thoughts of being tak^n,
And lave no less to save our bacon:
For we remember Svdrophel,
Whom that Sir Hadibras drub'd well,
For daring to deceive and trick
Good people with things necromantic!
Yet ere we go, we would enlarge
©a the nice points we have in charge,
To shew that we've done every thing,
In this great mission for our king;
And this by way of Proclamation
Which serves bad things to put a face cn !
Well then if Congress will disclaim
Their horrid independent name,
We promise to take special care
That they shall never more declare
United States of Colonies
Or Call the French their good allies,
Things which requir'd the full consent
Of all and each coaflituerit.
We therefore crave all ranks of men
To think this matter o'er again.
Each S are, AiTembly or Convention,
And men who gravely fit the bench on,
We here invoke iq change their sides,
And help to carry French mens hides.
And those in arms who battle love,
Let them with us their mettle prove ;
We've foes in Normandy a Fritting,
To serve us both for three years cutting.
Ye sages too, who gravely diD
The gospel out in felh or fifh;
Or teach as interest sways, or maggoty
Obedience passive, or the faggot;
Men who can prove---Lke Keppel's letter *
To hang an aril's to have the better,
* See Admiral Keppel's account of the engage
ment between the fleet under his command and the
Bred fleet the 27th of July ult.
HARKV C> RD : Printed by W ATSON a # d GOODWI N, reu the Great Bridge.
It you behoves to go about
And preach the people to give out.
We also wish all those who know,
How faft in peace the corn wif ^row ;
How quick our children learn to read ;
And how much quicker worn a breed,
To be nerfuaded they are wrong;
That France is weak-- and we are strong.
'Vhat pretext now remains of quarrel,
But a mere lend from empty bmel._
---Is not the Port Bill taken off
Which Parkament made in the,: wrath;
Did we,a finje mortal vex,
Theft three past years with any tax :
And should folks talk from eve o matin,
They want but peace and time to fatten.
But if there Bill exiftsa man.
Who dare reject ear friendly „, n,
We leave him to h's idle dream,
And dire cff.es of Brtifh phlegm!
---So long as we tho't to recover
The Colonies, we've left for ei:t,
We carried on the war at leifurc,
Just burning house or town for . 'eafare.
Now had we force—which we ' we not.
We would not leave a standing >t--
Wed spoil your free trade cc fed tint,
And root up each tobacco plain ;
Impale you: leaders to the chin.
And break the, very pots you [Us in !
If what we've f/.d seems no: enough,
And m;n without cause will m'e feuf;
Or think our king in his repen ce
At faft may yield them in tepe f , , nc%
We here U/cU.c'j exp & U'
That we do no such pow'rs podefs;
For we are enemies that bate
You either fhruld be ft^e or grert:
And thus we've written to our people
As fare as there is church or ftrp'e.
It now becomes you to recur —
Toold petitions her demur;
For ' we again in dudgeon swear
You've not a grievance to repair ;
-Andfpite of all your French affirmance
We'll play the devil -at a didance;
Just as the man I'the moon p+efidos
And rules and regulates the tides.
lu fi ie we public and piochim
A pardon in our maker's name,
Whether to rebels drunk or sober
Before the third day of Oflober;
And leave the S ates to get to rights
Just forty days and forty nights.
All those who choose to stay at home;
And those to York who cannot come,
Such as who lame are, or bed ridden,
We pardon in a way that's hidden,
A mystery we learnt from witches
Who kill men, aj they please, with flitches,
And in the king's name we require
Each loyal fubja& and good squire
To lay aside his rusty fibre
And read this paper to his neighbour.
To ev'ry State we fend on vellum
All that weever bad to tell 'em;
And to the Germans and all fetch
We've had it printed in High-Dutch---
---Sign'd Cariille-—Clinton and Will. Eden';
(For Johnflone now we have no need on)
And further, to confirm the dory,
'Tis mark'd by Ferguson, the Tory.
ARISTOPHANES.
To the hari oi CARLISLE, Sir HENRY CLIN
TON, and WILLIAM EDEN, Esq;
YOUR Excellencies Proclamation and Manifeflo
of the 3d of October, is the fubje& of my pre
lent amusement. You were cemmiffioned for the
sole purpose of amusing the Americans, and it
mast be coßfeOed, even by your greatest enemies,
that you have a&ed your parts in a masterly man
ner : The American nation are net a little obliged
to your Excellencies 'for the diversion you have af
forded them. This very entertaining manifesto of
yours, is addrehfed to the Members of Ceogrefs, the
Members of the General Affembhes or Conventions
of the several States in the union and to all others,
free inhabitants of those States ; and therefore it
naturally follows, that I may with propriety addrefa
myfelf to your Excellencies in, return. 1 would not
for the world emit Ihewing " a just regard to the
Characters you bear."
You are pleased to fay, t^at " having amply and
repeatedly made known to Con,re's, and having also
proclaimed to the inhabitants of North America in
general, the benevolent overtures of Great-Britain
towards a re union and coalition With her colonies,
you do not think it confident, either with the duty
you owe to your country, or with ajuft regard to the
characters you bear, to persist in holding out offers,
which in your eflimation required only to be known
to be moss gratefully accepted." I must confefs to
your Excellencies that 1 think this lenience is full
of dignity and elegance ; it correfpcods " with the
duty you owe to your country and with a jud re
gaid to the characters you bear." It was not pos
sible for me to conceive, that while you were laying
down this idea tha.you were refoived " to perfitt
in holding out offers" to Congress and the inhabi
tants of North-America, which they had treated
with the most sovereign contempt. But in a mo
ment, your manifesto convinced me it was drawn
Up for the very purpafe which it reprobated in the
most pointed terms. Your Excellencies are - ,!•:,
in being poffeded of a facility in reconcili g to
yourselves, ideas, which to the rest of the world
appear utterly irrecorecileable. Great pe^s are not
copper'd by r#bn ; and your Excelled rie/&:;. r 1 3
that great pgiidems arc equally ezrn , •C~"
You “ again declare" to Corrals .hole refers
Which they have repeatedly rejected as absolutely
inadmdhble. Could your Excellencies flatter your
fclves, that because you perfeed in renewing your
offers, that therefore Congress would accept them !
It is true, forne gallants have wooed in this manner
with success, the fair being too gentle to resist such
importunities , but the materials you are at work
upotf, are rather of a firmer nature. Look through
the proceedings of Congress, and fay whether you
have found an instance of their receding frcni a de
clared determination. On the contrary, thole pro 3
ceediags most have convinced you, that for yea
M to perfiil" inrenewing your offers, is to Ihewthe
world that you are revived to throw away your
time. I fh.h fay nothing with refpe& to* the offers
you repeat to Congrtfs, nor to your affc-lion that
Congress were not authorized to r<fe& your offers,
or to ref r you to foreign treaties which though real;
you are picked now to call " pretended I" Enough
has been laid on those fubief? in several letters to
year Excellencies; nor do I thi .k it confident with
ajuft regard to the Gh^rafter I bear, now to p&fiit
in repeating those arguments which fully pointed
out the infid ou^ nature of those offers, and thefilfi
ty of those affections. But, as to your invitation to
the General Affembhes feperately, I must fay it
would be too dangerous an expedient for them to
trust to even Were they d.fpofcd to relinquish their
independence. And. as to your invitation to the
free inhabitants individually, this is yet mote ex
ceptionable than the lad. It is net by such very
partial negotiations, that a people are to force Bri
tain to yield them important national advantages.
And this must be obvious trf every man, betaufe du
ring the whole coUrfe of this dispute, Britain has
never been fyfpofed to yield a finale point, but when'
the lay under the edge of the sword of America. If
then the combined wisdom and power of America is
but adequate to the talk of forcing Grgat-Britain to
yield important national advantages to. America,
Can your Excellencies really think the General Af
fembiics teperately, and the people individually, a r <
so simple, as to be mauifeftoed by your Excellencies
into a belief, that they can procure the fame advan
tages by a disunion of counsel and of force !
• 6 It has not been," you fay, " nor is it ydur