The Columbian informer, or, Cheshire journal — Keene, N.H., 1793-09-25 00:00:00, page 1

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Danbury, August, 1793.
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[No. 26. ofVoL. I.]
Numb. XXVI.
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Printing-Office, Keene, Sept. Z”, <793°
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Printed and Published by HENRY BLAKE, ^ CO. in KEENE; N ew-HaMpshi re.
Or, C HESHIREJOURNAL.
THE
Columbian Informer;
Mr. Spooner,
By giving the following Extract a place in
your Medley you will (no doubt) 0-
blsgefuch of 4 our readers, as are attach
ed to (economy —and, as it likewise dij
plays some of the bad tyeßs occajioued by
a juperfluous difpofaion, it may probably
be read to advantage.
D. C.
About the time I firft addressed my
present spouse, her father gave out in
Speeches, that if she married a man he
liked, he would give her £.200 on the
day of marriage; 'tis true he never said
so to me, but he always received me very
kindly at his house, and openly counte
nanced my courtfllip. I formed several
fine schemes what to do with this £.200 —
and in some measure neglcded my busi
ness, on that account ; but unluckily it
came to pass, that when the old gentleman
saw I was pretty well engaged, and that
the match was gone two far to be cafry
broke off, he without any reason given,
grew very angry, forbid me the house,
and told his daughter, that if she married
me he would not give her one farthing.—
However as he fcrefaw we were not to be
disappointed in that manner —•but having
Hole a wedding, tock her home to my
house, where we were not in quite so poor
a condition as the people described in the
Scotch song, who had neither pot nor pan.
but four bare legs together, for I had a
house tolerably furniihed ^r an ordinary
man before, no thanks to dad, who I un
derstand was very much pleased with his
politic management ; —and I have since
learned that there are ether old curmud
geons (so called) besides him, who have
this trick to marry their daughters, and yet
keep what they can well spare, ar.tll they
can keep it no lortger--but this is by the
way of diferetion, a word to the wife is
enough—l foori law that with care and in
dustry, we might live tolerably easy, and in
credit withour neighbors ; butmy wife had
a strong inclination to be a gentlewoman,
in consequence of this my old fafnioned
looking glass was one day broke, as she
said, no mortal could tell which way—
However since we could not be without a
glass in the room, my dear, fays she, we
may as well buy a larger fashionable one,
that Mr. such aone has to fell, it will est
but little more than a common glass, and
will be much hindfomer and more credit
able ; accordingly the glass was bought
and hung againftthe wall ; but in a weeks
time I was made sensible by little and lit
tle, that our old fafhionable table was not
suitable for such a glass, and a mere prop
er table being procured, ray spouse who was
an excellent contriver, informed me where
we might have very handfeme chairs in the
way ; and thus by degrees 1 found my old
furniture flowed up in the garret, and ev
ery thing below altered for the better-—-
had we flopped here we might have done
well enough, but my wife being enter
tained with tea by the good women she
visited, we could do no less than the like
when they visited us, and so we got a tea
table, with its appurtenances of china and
silver ; then my spouse unfortunately over<
worked herfelf in waffling the house, so
that we could do no longer without a
maid, besides that it happened frequently
that when I came home at one, that the
dinner was but just put in the pot, for my
dear tho't really it had been but eleven—
at other times when I came home at the
I AM an honest tradesman who never
meant harm to any body, and while a
bachelor, my affairs went smoothly on ;
but of late I have met with feme difficult
ies, of which I take the liberty to give you
an account.
From the Medley, &c.
c/^^&lZzTZy.
WEDNESDAY, September 25, 1793.
fame hour, she wondered I should Itay so
long, for dinner was ready and had wait
ed for me i k cfe two hours—these irregu
larities occafibned by mistaking the time,
convinced me, that it was absolutely neces
sary to buy aclock, which my spouse ob
served was a great ornament to the room ;
and lastly to my grief, my spouse was fre
quently troubled with some ailment or oth
er, and nothing did her so much good as
riding, and these hackney horles were
such ugly trotting creatures, that I bought
a fine pacing mare which coft£.4o ;-• there
abouts affairs have flood for some time
past ; Icould fee all along that this way
of liv : ng was utterly inconfifent with my
circumstances but had not resolution e
nough to help it, 'till lately receiving a
very severe dun which mentioned the next
court, I began in earned to projed relief.
Last Monday my dear went into the coun
try to fee a relation, and stay a fortnight,
because she could not bear the heat of the
town ; in the interim I have taken my
turn to make alteration, I,hve turned
away the maid bag and baggage, for what
should we do with a maid, who have except
my boy none but curfelves ; I have fold
my fine pacing maze, and bought a cow
with three pounds of the money ; I have
disposed of the tea table, and put a fpin
ing wheel in its place, which methinks
looks very pretty ; nine empty canisters
I have fluffed with flax ; and with some of
the money of the tea furniture I have
bought a set of kniting needles, for to tell
you the truth, which I would have go no
farther, I begin to want flockings ; the
stately clock I have transformed into an
hour glass, by which I gained a good round
sum; au.lt of the pieces cf the p!d
looking glass squared and framed, Applies
the place sf the great one which I have
conveyed into a closet, where it may possi
bly remain some years. In short, the
face of things are quite changed, and I
am mightily pleased when I look upon my
hour glass, what an ornament it is to the
room. I'have paid my debts and find mon
ey in my pocket. I exped my dame home
next Friday, and as your paper is taken
in at the house where she it, I hope the
reading of this will prepare her mind for
the above furprizing revolutions. If she
can conform to this new scheme of living,
we shall be the happiest couple perhaps
in the province, and by the blessings of
God may be Icon in thriving circum-
Itances. I have referred the great looking
glass, because I knew her heart is let
upon it. I will allow her when she comes
in; to be suddenly taken ill with head
ache,ftomach-ache, fainting, fits, or what
ever other disorder she may think it molt
proper, and may retire to bed as soon as
ihe pleases; but if I do ns; find her in per
feft health beth of body and mind the
next morning, away goes the aforefaid
glass, with several other trinket# I have
no cccaf.on for, to the vendue that very
day—which is the irrevocable resolution
of fir, her loving husband, and your very
humble Servant.
Anthony Afterwrit.
i*ggy and Melly,jolly-boys, or an, thing — he
dances trofs legged, wags his head, puyls
his partner and the rest of the lad ies with
violence—calls for a bowl of punch—drinks
toasts that no one ought to name, and
ftrutsofffthe floor with the Approbation of
half the ladies; and the envy of two thirds
'Mr^ ROVER, goes toafr ape, as
he calls it, there finds his companions—fa.
lutes one with How is it .'—another with
How doyouftand it ?- never flays for an
answer, but bustles round the room—sets
the company all in confufion —fierce a lady
by the hand—drags her into the middle
|fehe room—orders the fiddler to play
From the FARMER'sCRHONICLE.
The Droll-Fellow
of the gentlemen, wno all join to bestow
upon him the glorious epithet of a droll
fellow.
Mr. Sculkbug with half-a-dozen of
his companions more vile thatfutlf, lies
concealed in the wWds ,11 all honest folks
are in bed ; then turns out in company
with the owls, to feck his prey : The owls
turn out to rob the hen-roost—Mr. Sculk
bug to rob the gardens, orchards, &c.—he
fills his pockets and bosom with fruit—
tears up the watermelon-vines—breaks the
pear and plumb-trees,and does all the mif
chief in his power. Mr. Owl steals his
hen and eats it, nature requires food, he
has no other way to obtain it—he is
the boreft fellow, but Mr. Sculkbug is the
^(fc" 0 ^ This is not the end of the ex
pedition, the owner of the fruit destroyed,
takes Mr. Sculkbug under the night
law—fuipicions are against him—he can
not prove himfelf clear—he pays the celt
and damages, and walks off with the pret
ty character ofa drollfellow.
THE Subscriber takes this method to
inform the Public; that he has
fee up colouring deep blue, and has got
the dye to work to good perfection —thofc
who with for this colour, may be accom
modated therewith, within three weeks af
ter the cloth is delivered for dressing.—
All the other branches of cloth dressing,
carried on as usual, by the Public's hum
ble Servant.
RICHARD STRATTON,
Swanzg, Aug. z6tb, 179 b
PAINE, in his incomparable work,
The Rights of Man, has fprzad the alarm
through all Europe. Hence truth has
sprung out of the earth, and a nation has
been regenerated in a day. The trumpet
is blown, & the found has gone thro' all the
earth. The governors of nations are an
gry, and the kings and the mighty men of
the earth, who are of the earth, and near
ly allied to the brutal part of the earthly
creation ; whose ideas never yet arose
above the head, or around them, bu&%
the abfolate fcs%n e . uelj^giibn of
their species. They have colledea their
armed hosts from the east, well, north,
and fouth, and have come against the
camp of good and virtuous men to destroy
the fair fabric of freedom. But all their
efforts will be in vain, for the race is not
to the fwift, but depends alone upon the
great disposer of all events, who has de
termined the end and means to accomplish
it. Wars andfightings mu s come, but there
is a woe unto all thole by whom they do
come. They do not originate with the
people, but from the kings and tyrants
of the earth ;,who are already doomed to
deftru&ion, and mull be buried in the
general mass of ruin, preparatory to that
preaceable reign, which all good men look:
for and will certainly find, in these latter
ages of the world.
THERE is a very remarkable circum
fance in the Britilh, which cannot fail of
striking the mind of every American as a
molt prominent and diftinguiihing fea
ture in their national character : Their op
pofiticn to the French is so great, that
they would not go even to Heaven itfelf,
if the French were on the fame road with
them—this is fully exemplified in all their
daily publications ; for every news-paper
teems with the most cruel reproaches
against the French for their zeal in de
fence of their cause; and the refolutiou
with which they support it ; whereas for;
merly, these Very Frenchmen were repre
sented by them as flares, unworthy the
character of men, and the objects, on that
account, of their utmoff Korn and indig
nation.
DEEP BLUE DYE.
EXTRACTS.
[Whole No. 26.]