The Phoenix — Dover [N.H.], 1793-12-07 00:00:00, page 1

hood that a power of people tra
velling through our town, either
turned out of the way or laid
bad sallied out of their faftnef
ft^ : infeff the cot?,^ nf New-
Hampshire. An acivertifement
signed " BROWN" was quick
ly printed in which the lie was
given, and rhe rights of a living
brickmaker indignantly claim
ed. The oddity of this incident
attracted' the notice ofa certain
wit, who, under the signature of
Jacob Behmen, facetiously en
deavoured to demondrale the
nohexiftence of Brown. This
ill yated “ man of brick" in
great chafe at this Ud outrage,
wrote the following letter, which
I was requested to insert in my
mifceUany I hesitated long, and
thought proper for a term to
fuffer him to ihew himfelf to the
people and convince them he
was no ghost. Six months hav
ing expired, I now publish his
defence in his own words.
Mr. FARRAGO,
an account of a battle lately
faught between myfelf and a
party of Indians, wherein it was
laid I came offby the walls, and
was slain. ;Now you must know,
Mt. Farrago, this was all a sham,
but being put in the paper for
news, almost every body belie
ved it. There was such an a
larum about it in my neighbour-
alb ruthless Indian rage !"
Shenstone, slightly parodied.
SOME months have elapsed,
since there appeared in the pub
lic papers a narrativeof murder,
committed by a party oflndians,
on the body of one BROWN,
a Brickmaker. This Rory be
ing told in the old, doleful, ty
pographic way, occasioned not a
little terror in the neighbour
hood, where the tragedy was said
to have been acted. It induced
many honest peaceable fubjeds
to conjecture, that the Miami
and Wabash tribes, weary of
butchering the doeep of Har
mer's and St. Clair's flock,
IN some of the Windsor prints,
as I have been told, there was
"Ilenealb a church-yard yew,
£^<u, ed a^d .V Y; ZUich f 'g%
altduft of eve, melbought Ifpda
Poor Bruno'sgboft, that whim
pering cry'd,
Vol. IV. Numb. CLXXV.j
DOVE R, (N. II.) Published by E. LADD, and G. S. HOMANS, NEAR THE COURT-HOUSE AT 8/.PER ANN.
The FARRAGO.
From the EAGLE,
frl
1 he
by, for fear of meeting the In
dians, and sharing my unhap
py fate.—l had agreed with a
new married man, who was a-
L™" buikrng, to fhpl mm
with brick for his chimnies.
One morning, soon after my
imputed death, fending my
youngest boy to inform my
neighbour, that his brick were
ready, he shook his head and
told the child there must be
some mistake, for, quoth he,
your father, poor man, was kil
led, before he had done my job ;
He, rest his foul by earth and
clay, as the song fays, procured
his pelf, but now he's turn'd to
earth himfelf. The boy, with
a face as pale as a clout, came
crying home, and in a dolorous
voice, asked if his Dada was
dead. Mrs. Brown, who fat
knitting in the rocking chair,
immediately, turned round to
me and bawled out," I am a
stonished, hufoand, that you
fuffer folks to continue in this
cursed deletion. lam sure, if
1 was a man, i would bestir
myfelf to some. purpose, and not
be cheated out of my earnings,
under pretence that I was dead.
Indeed I dont wonder they are
in a hurry to bury you; for
leaving every thing at fives and
sevens, you idle away your time;
instead of working hard all day,
and cherishing your loving wife
o'nights, you do nothing but
snore and 1 have not had a child
by you this ten years," I was
to roused by this racket, that I
immediately hunted up Perry's
Dictionary and wrote an adver
tisement wherein I asserted, up
on the word of an honest man,
that I was in the land of the
living. An unbelieving world
began to give back ; but lo ! I
soon found to my cost, that no
thing is more par, than an old
fay of my grannum's, “ When a
man's down, every body sets
his foot upon him." For folks
fcarcoly had time to read my
deposition, before Mr. B^n-
Men, whom I cannot but call an
officious intermcdler, attempt
ed to prove in a very flourish
ing high-learnt way that I was
dead. This unchriftiah attempt
has thorned me so, that the bare
story would draw tears from the
heart of a stone. The paper,
which contained this cursed
plot against my life, being read
rare ^W%@^^
at a tavern, every neighbour,
from tb& day forward, carried
himfelftabards me like a mourn
erat % uneral: If I went in
a ..e^hn,, ^ said a word
abotr the weather, or Parson
Pfalmbook's sermon, I was
checked for an impertinent
deadman. When they were
talking over their flip concern
ing French folks, and Gen.
Demurrer, they no more thought
of handing the mug to me, than
of carry ing it to the grave yard ;
If! was sick, and sent to the
'pothccary's for a dose of salts,
he would run ye off a heap of
gibberish to my boy, and swear
he never knew Kate's-beart
acbes, that if I remember, was
his word, prescribed to a man
in his coffin. A lewd young
spark, who long had a hanker
ing after my wife, actually came
a luitoring to my house, and,
taking no more notice of me
than my dog, had the impu
dence to pop the question to
her; and when Mrs. Brown
toiG T)^ te go about idsbufn^.
like a Lucy Jackanapes, as he
was, he came next night about I 1
o'clock, and finding me in bed
with my; virtuous fpouce, told
her he wondered file did not
shudder, lying by thatdead corfe
He tuen advised her to fettle
my,,affairs, and even talked of
marrying her, of, appointing
guarci ans to my poor children,
and taxing an inventory of my
estate.—One of my neighbours,
who God forgive, was at the
expence of going to the Judge
of Probate's and taking of let
ters (f administration. Next
day, vo or three, calling them
selves commissioners, came to
my house and prized 'off my
goods, They turned every thing
topfy turvy; emptying .my
drawers and chests, and making
a jl litter on the floor. They
weir A; the barn and led off my
old mare, who had but just foal
ed, to be fold at the post for
half her value, But the cap
fheaf of all was, a certain sur
geon employed two apprentices
to search for my body, and not
finding it in the burying place,
he came to my wife offered her
ten pounds, in beef or wheat at
4 /: a byfhel, because, forfooth,
they wanted to 'ottemize me. In
flaort, Mr. Farrago, I have been
so cowed by these vexations
Phenix.l
SATURDAY December 7, 1793.
that I swear I vyifh the Indians
had killed me in good earnest.
You may be sure I did every
thing I could, but even Mrs.
Broac iminmfted me a little ;
and I h^ve seen her turn paic,
when I entered the house, as
though flie saw a ghost. Nay
file even afk'd, me one day,
whether I did,.not believe, 'that
spirits femetimes.valued ; and
a&ully catched her holding her
nose a few funday mornings ago,
while I was standing by her to
have my collar pinned, because,
fheconceited, 1. had a kind of a
grave-yard stench about me.
Now, Mr. Farrago, 1 should
have been in the midfl of all
my neighbours alive aad hap
py at this day, had it,not been
for Mr. Behmen, He feerna
to have wit enough for one, but
I doubt malice and roguery
for two or three, or why the pox,
should it get into his fine pate to
contradict me and tell people
in the news prints that I was
dead. Nay he even argufys a
neighbours fays he has proved
it out better than our school
master could have done if he
had tried., I never heard of
this Mr. Behman before and so
I could not have affronted him
and got his ill will. 1 cant for
th@ blood of me fee w hat good
it does him to have me dead,
for all my neighbors are willing
to teflify betoreany 'Squire, that,
when I was alive, I was an ho
nest harmless fellow, and it was
a common faying, that Brown
made many brick-bats but ne
ver threw one. Now, Mr.
Farrago, what I &ant to have
you to do is this ; I want you,o
print this in your essay, and as I
suppose you was brought up to
college and have a headpiece
for these things, do give a bit
of advice to Mr. Behmen ; tell
him to mind his own business
and let poor folks live as long as
they can. If you will it Ihall
go hard, but dead or alive, I'll
do something handsome for you.
And so I left— Tours to fave—^
BROWN.
From this letter, .written in
a style of the most frank sim
plicity, it appears; that Mr.
Behmen and others have com
menced volunteer boatman to
Charon, and fairly ferried my
correspondent across the Stygian