The Columbian informer, or, Cheshire journal — Keene, N.H., 1793-08-21 00:00:00, page 4

THE importance of this command no
one can pretend co djpete, though jew art
disposed to obey it. Perhaps nothing, of Jo
great importance, is Jo universally neglected,
as an acquaintance with ourfehes.
One would Juppoye from a little experience
with the world, that there is no necessity so:
oar adding any thing to the "catalogue of
cross reckonings and so items, with
which the heart of man is overcharged." Still,
however, wefad, that the fafhue of our
happiness is too often interrupted by caufa
which are created among owjelve yuiz. by ear
unfriendly fen invents ardjpeebes and conduct
refpeaing one another. The philojophici
chrjpan perhaps will fay," that a conciouj
nejs of doing right is a Efficient Jhield againf
ail the malevolence- cf an unfeeling and un
friendly world." This appears well in
theory ; but is no excufefor evil fpeabng :
And when we attempt to reduce it to practice,
we find that the philosopher and the chrifiian
are fill puff'd ofthefeelings of men. Even
innocence tfelf m^fl feel dflreffd, whin dri
ven into fujpicion, either by the defiant hints,
or mere open and pointed of rvatsors of a ma
licous world, ITe ail wifb to be thought at
leaf as good as we really are; and indeed
many of us, and e^en of those who make it
their bfeefs to ex, of the foibles of others,
wouldfland at aver, low ebb in the eflima
tion of the world, were all our bad as well
as good qualities accurately weighed in the
impartial balance, ofjujlice
Ignorance of ourJelves is certainly one great
source of defamation. Wejudge of an u^ on
without conjidering th. motive which led to
it ; and, if aiff? view, the adtoon appears
unfavourable, we immediately cenjure him
who performed it, without coffering, that,
under the jam? circumjiances, wejbould have
conduced after the fame manner : The bene
fits that would accrue to individuals, and to
society from a more intimate acquaintance with
ourflvts, must be obvious to every one of the
JAL MAN whoown'd a Barber's shop
Ar York, and fhav'd full many a Fop,
A Monkey kept for their amusement—
He made no other kitd of use on'e.
This Monkey took great observation,
Was wonderful at imitation,
And all he saw the Berber co,
He mimic'd (height, and did it too.
It chanc'd in Shop, the Dog and Cat,
While frifeur din'd demuiely iat,
Jacko found nought to play the knave in,
So though, he'd try his hand at (having,
Around the Cup in Lilt he rufhe«,
And g ts the razors, soap, and brushes ;
Now pit's he fix'd—nomuicie Mils dirs—
And lather'd well her beard and whiskers,
Then gave a gafn—as he began,
Th, Cat cried ''Waugh !"-— and cffihr ran.
Next Towzer's bead he try'd his ikid io,
ThoTowzer feem'd somewhat unwilling ;
As badly here rgain fuccereding,
The D g run howling round and bleeding.
Nor yet war tir'd cur roguish elf,
He'd seen the Barber foave himfelf;
So by the g!afs> upon the table,
He rubs with soap his visage fable,
Then with left hand holds Smooth his jaw,
The razor in his dexter paw;
Around he flout shes and flalhels,
Till all his face was feam'd with gaffies.
His cheeks difpatch'd—his visage thin,
He cock'd, to Crave beneath his chin ;
Dre v razor feift as he could pull it,
And cur, ficra ear to ear, his gullet.
llHl#^^t^t^
S^^J Corner.
*^& eoeccococonccoocrmxoccß ^*
MORAL.
WHO cannot write, yet handle pens;
Are upt to hurt themselves and Friends ;
Tho' others use them well, yet fools
Should never meddle with edge tools!
EPITAPH— on an honest SAILOR
Poor Tom's mtzen fopfail is WI to the mast,
He'll never turn sat or more heave the
lead,
He's new ail aback, ncr will fails floor
He ever w..s b\ft, and tho nev gone to
When he be^rs the !aft whifle, he'll jump
upon de.k.
WHETHER filler or nor, for a moment
WHOSHAVED HIMSELF * FRIENDS.
A FABLE.
“ KNOW IHrSELF,
The M ONIT OR.
weft,
avail,
ahead,
THE MONKEY
haft penetration. These officious charaAers,;
lute now employ their time and talents in ex
posing the foibles of tbeir acquaintances ana
neighbours, would then have their attention
taken up in more worthy and interring em
ployments ; and the peace of society would no
more be interrupted by the constant din of
scandal. Would the calumniator examine bis
own conduct with an impartial eye—would he
loch into his own heart and Jie what imperfec-\
tions and vices inhabit there ; bow fan would
bis invenomed tongue be fenced —bow Joon;
would he la, aside a practice which fubjeßs\
him to the contempt of the wife and good, and
to the danger of having every word be utters
resorted upon him with redoubled force, being
directed ty rejentment, and aided by truth.
The morals may preach agair.fi vicious prac-|
trees ; the Jatirtf ma, ridicule the reigning!
Jollies oj the age, but let the charaElers of
ind viduals be efleemed sacred. Let no ua
jecling wretch aare to wound the honest fame
of bis friend or neighbour ! Here let ever,
one tiead lightly, nor presume to trample under
bis feet ajwel of jo miflimable a price !
Let those, who feel dfocus of defraying an
unblemijbed reputation, pauje a moment, be
fore they irflift the deadly wound, until he
who is free from fin Ihall cast the firft wea
pon.
IT is to be lamented, that mankind
were not taught to cultivate the heaven
bom principle, Charity, in a greater de
gree-or, in other words, that our teach
ers were not more careful to inculcate the
principles of moral virtue.—Would it not
have a much happier tendency of making
their hearers more virtuous than the fil
ling their minds with the dark labyrinths
of the Decrees of heaven, which neither
they themselves nor their hearers will ,ever
be able afeertain ?
1 drink again; I feel the ffrength of
ten men, nothing is two difficult form*
o attempt, nothing two hazardous to ex
ecute. The journey of a hundred mi'es
is contrasted to a span of my hand, and
he men of mighty bones arc dimin
fhed to the contemptib'e size of graf
h^ppers. Rum! thou art afo thefup?ort
otheroifm. The mind of fapreme ingenu
ity firft placed thee in the plants that grow,
and concealed thee from the undifeerning
in 'he plump grains of the harvest. It
•as Hit to the men of later ages to difcpv
er thee there, and accommodate thee to
heir own use and purposes. — While the
\x or hors: travels on his tedious fop
'ey, it is, indeed, wfh a heavy heart !
He is nouiilhed but notinfoired ; is fed bu
not inebriated--how painful are the hours,
how ungrateful is the road, how dull arc
his profpeds !—Bu: to man who carries
with him the jovial flalk, it is nothing.
Every object puts on the colour of gaity,
and, by the affiffance es this megic, every
difficulty vanishes before him.Withcur.his,
our whole life would have been little bet
ter than a forfeit sleep, a dream be
tween (lumbering and waking, a moment
of animiatton not worth enjoying.
And yet true happiness is only difeover
erable in the firft moments of intoxication
—I drink again, and am immediately de
graded from the rank of god to a condi
tion far inferior to that of a beast. Such
is the unaccountable nature of man. The
moment he tastes of happiness it palls up
on his appetite, and tells him, I am still
to be fought for.
]{ UM ! then art the quintessence of
excellence, the afliftant of nature, the an
livelier cf ftney, and the mother and au
thcr of great and glorious actions, When
overcome with labour, or wearied with
care, or vexed with ingratitude, or deject
ed by miss rtencs, 1 return home fad
and solitary ; the mills cf forrew are Upon
my countenance, and the rcfemblarce or
the fl^ep of death hanged upon my brow.
1 call for the liquid of the limped fountain;
I drink it, but it yields me no relief! —
My heart is still heavy, my Ideas are fl.t
s nd wateriih, lam but a small remove
from the bea* with four legs. Some hap.
py change, feme guardian angel, a friend
fman, directs me to the (parking flafk !
1 seize it with rapture, and drink of it with
extacy !—immediately I call cut, why,
Onature wcrt thou so niggardly ! why
were not all thy springs, thy rivulets,
chy rivers, thy lakes, and even thy oceans
replen Died with this divine liquid, instead
of the insipid element of which they now
conhit !—~
AH ORATION UPON RUM.
In the Stile of DoSor Harvey.
CHARITY.
A LADY of equestrian fame, ri
ding full speed, was thrown from her horse
by an unexpected tumble, with such vio
lence, that Ihe rolled over once or twice,
something in a stile of a Derbylhire exhi
bition. On getting up ihe saw her foot
man, who was riding behind her, laugh
ing to himfelf, and was resolved to know,
as he was a kind of country pumpkin,
Iwhether ihe had fallen decently or not.—
: " Pray John," said the lady—" Did you
fee my agility ?"—" Whoi, to be sure
Madam, I can't feay but what a'did, but
II never heard it caused so afore.
the community, if, instead cf endeavoring
to frighten men,vice & virtue were pour
trayed in such colors,as would induce them
to abhor the one and cleave to the other ?
If the heir.cufncri of slander, and the beau
ties of veracity, were properly depicted,
would it not have a tendency of making us
shudder at the firft, while we affiduoufl,
(^URIOSIUS is upright and unblame
able tn bis general deportment ; and bis con
versation on many fuff's, edifying : But
be would be a more agreeable companion woe
it rot for an inquisitive, impertinent desire cf
knowing every body's bojinejs, and the ground
of ever, bins that is occafonal, dropped in
dfourfe where be is prefect. This puts him
upon aJUng a multitude cf needufs and improp
er queftons, and obliges th fe who know him
to be continually upon their guard, and to treat
him with reserve. He catechifa every
flranger, and is unwilling to part wich them
until be is particularly informed of their can
ncAions, employments and designs ; for this
idle curiofty he is marked and avoided, as a
busy body : and tbofe who have the best opi
\mon of him cannot put wonder, that the man
who appears to have so many better things to
employ bis thoughts upon foould find leisure to
,arnufe birtfelf so mu:b with what does not at
all concern bin. Were it not for the rules cf
civility, be would be affronted every day ;
and if he would but attend to the cold anti
evfve answers be receives to bis enquiries or
even to the looks with whichthey are accom
panied, be might burn that altba be meant
no barm, he appears to great disadvantage,
and that bis prying dijfofcion is very un
pleafng.
A YOUNG Man was arraigned a 4
the Dar of a neighbouring Jufticc, for th^
growing evil of committing large depreda
tions on a Lady's Chafit, — Her honelt
Father raved the Damages in the premises at
50!. the young man thought, as it was f
common a thing, that he ought to abate
cf the fandard price, and be content with
50 dollars— But the Lady feeling he
Modefl, infused by this low valuation,
arose and (big with the Spirit of her cause)
addressed the Judge in a%elevated tone of
voice, informing him, that foe should infjl
on one hundred and twenty dollars, as this
was the ver, ioweft price her Mother and as,
her Sifters, had always SET it at.
cultivated the latter ? If the moral virtues
were more attended to, charity would no:
be negledcd —we (h)uld be taught to
throw the veil of c/mpaffion over the foi
bles of cur neighbors—pity their misfor
tunes—commiferate their diftreflfes—and
lend an helping hand to their neceffities—
we Should be taught, that as the wheel
goes round, we may possibly be in their
place, and need the fame helping hand.
this doctrine was more attended to,
we should be taught to cultivate every
amiable principle which has a tendency to
adorn human nature—and to shudder at
the cuntrafted ones. But now—slander
rears her baneful head, & points her vencm
ed Ring at every breast. The must bril
liant characters feel the smart, and virtue
herfelf is her broad mark.
lls a country gentleman in London
was reading a newspaper in a coffee-houfe
he said to a friend who fat next him, I have
been looking sometime to fee what the min
istry are about,but I cannot find where those
articles are put, not being used to the
London papers.— LX among the robberies,
replied the other.
Would it not be more for the benefit cf
' How prone to censure are mankind
' Each foible of the erring mind ,
' Wbilft virtues farce obtain a name, <
6 But blaze and vawfo like aflame.
From the Vermont Journal.
The MIR R 0 R. No. VI.
ANECDOTES.
A LADY's AGILITY.
rHE Members of the New-Hamp,
fliire Medical S ciety in the weft,
era Diftict, to uii, in the co^atiHTt Chid
foire, Haljborough and Grafton, are reqaeft.
cd to meet in Chariettown, in the County
of Cbcjbire, at Col. George Kimbad's, on
the third Wednesday of August text, for
the purpose of organizing thrmfeivea
agreeably to the rules and regulations of
said Society, and for tranfading fach other
buficefs as may be thought proper.
WILLIAM PAGE,
By order of the Society.
Charleftown, fitly 14, 179;.
This day pubujhtd,
—and for file at this Office—
THE
PLEASANT HISTORY
OF THE
Fryar & Boy;
OR THE
YOUNG PIPER'S PLEASANT PAS
TIME.
Containing— The witty Adventures be
tween the Fryar and the 80, ; in relation
to bis STEP-MOTHER, whom he fairly
fitted for her unmerciful cruelty.
To be fold at Public Vendue, at the
Toufe of the Subferiber in Dublin, on
WEDNESDAY, the 2^h of August,
inst. at one o'clock P M.
(By order of the General Court)
TAKES this method to inform the
Public, that he has removed from
Swanzey to this town, where he purpofe#
to carry on his business in all its various
branches, in the building next door fouth
of Mr. William W. Blake's Store.
The higheit price given for good white
oak Timber, suitable for said business-4
and the fmailcß favors gratefully ackm/fr
ledged.
Keene, Aug. 6, 1793.
WANTED as an Apprentice to the
Biackfmiths 'bufinefs, a ftcut ac
tive Boy, 15 or 16 years old.—For terms
apply to THOMAS FIELD.
Keene, Aug. 6, 1793.
BROKE into the Enclefure cf the Sub
scriber, a Brindle STAG, about
five or fix years old.—The owner re^y
have him with paying the cost.
THOMAS SMITH, jan.
Surry, July 23, 1793.
An account of bis captivity,jiffrings and efe
cape from the Kickapoo Indians,
WRITTEN ar HIMSELF,
and published at the earned importunit,
of his friends, for the benefit of
AMERICAN YOUTH.
7^ 23, '793 _
-NOTIFICATION.
A QUANTITY of ammunition, con
fining of two barrels Powder, a
few hundreds of Lead, and about eight
hundred of Flints —Conditions of sale
will be made known, at the time and
place.
JOHN MORSE.
Dublin, Aug. Ifo 1793.
BLANK DEEDS, fUYTT^fWRITS,
and EXECUTIONS, BL,4NK NOTES
of HAND, and RECEIPTS, fofak
at this Office.
<^4^)4^)4^)4^)4G>><^>''O < )©K)^C>'O«DKg,
ALMANACK
AUGUST. S. r. S. f. Mr&
21 Wednesday, §l6 644 rife.
22 Tburfday, 5 17 643 1 742
23 Friday, 518 642 820
24 Saturday, 5'9 641 858
25 Sunday, 5 21 l 6 39 l 9 3)
26 Monday, 5 22 633 10 11
27 Tu^day, 5 22 6fl 10 52
A YOUNG Woman who can recom
mend herfclf by her industry and
attention to business, in a small family—,
luch an one may depend on aver, gene
rous price by applying to the fubhriber,
MOSES JOHNSON.
Keene, July zytb, 1793.
Just Published, and for file at this Office.
THE
Whoferved as a Soldier in the wferz army,
in the Maffachuftts line, in the expedition
under General Harmar, and the
unfortunate General St. Clair.
CONTAINING
REMARKABLE ADVENTURES
OF
WANTED IMMEDIATELY,
WHEELWRIGHT;
^a/m,^ Fiords,
JACKSON JOHONNET,
or Massachusetts.