The Columbian informer, or, Cheshire journal — Keene, N.H., 1793-10-02 00:00:00, page 1

iidetable public business, which not only
brings you a considerable income, but
j carries along wth them all the agreeable
sensations of being both honorable and
wealthy, and of having the love and
good-will of mankind :— But Sir, as to
my circumstances, they arc quite the re
verse; for lam not only low as to estate,
but also in the esteem cf my fellow crea
tures.
Est Sir I believe that you are perfect
ly honest, but at the fame time I muftin
form you that you have mistaken ideas of
happinefi, and wherein it truly consists,
and in order to make it clear in your mind,
we will carefully examine the several par
ticulars you menticred and fee whether in-
Head of their creating happiness to the
mind, they do not naturally bring with
them trouble and vexation of Spirit ? —
You fay that 1 hold the honorable office
of a Justice cf the Peace, which you count
as the firft omen of my happy state—and
it is so far true, that the office ofa
Justice of the Peace, was designed as
a post of honor, and is by may accounted
so at the present day ; but, Sir, inllead
ofits bringing any peculiar fatisfadion to
the mind, it often fills it with great unea
siness ; for I believe it to be wholly :m
--poffible for any person to enjoy tranquility
rfmind (unless affixed by a supernatural
power) without enjoying the good-will of
his fellow-creatures, and this is impoffibie
for a J ftice to do ; for if he arraigns and
puniihes a criminal, he always incurs both
his, and his confederate's displeasure, and
oftentimes many others, by net doing as
Eq. Sir, if these are your fer.timents,
forery you mistake me, for with all feri
cafueft £ 0 ^r;« 6 < l r<i ^"i % ; fn to know
wherefore it is that you suppose happiness
to belong.to me, and that nln.ppinefs to
be (he consequent attendant of your cir
cumstances.
Eftuirt. Good morning, ba,„ man !
Farmer. What a flrange found is this
that salutes nry ear, that 1 should be pro
•nounced bapft by you, when it is well
known thatl am low in the world, and
have to labor bard in order to get any
thing of a comfortable, fubfiderce for my
felfand family, and Sir, I matt suppose
that you cannot by any means be feridus
ip your appellation to me, and. must con
clude that you supposed happiness to be
long to you, and that uohappinefs mutt
of corftquence attend my circumstances
in life. 4
Farm. Why Sir, I thick that I had fuf
ficient grounds to suppose that your cir
cumffances mutt render you happy, as al
molt every thing combines to nuke you so.
You have a comfortable living, without
hard labor, and besides that, you partake
of many of the honors, and consequently
of the pleasures that bring fatisfacuon to
the mind. You have the honorable office
of Justice of the Peace, you are the Rep
relentative of the town, and b< sides, you
are one of the Selectmen, and tranfad con-
[No. 27. of Vol. 1.1
Having observed many ujeful and entertain
ing fe 1 "" in )' our paper, causes a afire 0,
fatrg the following Dialogue appear in
,uDic, anUyour complying io give the fame
a place in,our tfigui Informer, ^d. mueb
oobge a lotfaM reader.
Not loty fince t as I was walk
ing out earl, in Xie raorning, I fiw at a
foall distance from me a neighboring Ef
quirc meet one cf the lowrr fort of Farm
ers, where I, with the greater fatisfadion,
flood and heard the following
D.I S CO URS E.
I Wffrt. Printers,
For the Columbian Informer, %.
j/'ttfell0,71 1 J.
Printed and Published by HENRY BLAKE, & CO. in KEENE; New-Hamps hi re.
- —• — — - —- —- —- — — - — - — — r✓
THE
Columbian Informer ;
Or, CHESHIRE JOURNAL,
into that office by the people, are (and
of right ought to be) considered by them as
their servants, and from this principle ma
ny are not only treated as savants, but 33
the baled of Haves ; for if any ad naffes
in court, which appears to be prejudicial,
for the molt part, without examining in
to the matter to know who were in favor
his friends, and in case they find him eve
ry way faithful to the cause of his conhittf
ents, they will cipher charge him with
(peeking too much, or that he dees not
(peak enough, and utcs no good (here ;—
and further, it is generally expected that
every person in that office mutt be so far
fubfwrvient to the wishes of the people, as
to grant every request of theirs, although
detrimental to his own interest—and in
case of refufal, he is immediately threat
ened with net being elected again.—
Now my friend, can any one suppose that
a person in this situation can be accounted
happy in his mind —as to his pay it
cannot be thought very lucrative to have
6% per day, when at the fame time he is
obliged to spend seven. But the next
thing you propose in order to confummare
my happiness, is my being one of the Se
le&men, which I really wonder that a
man of your candor and probity could ev
er mention. However honorable a Se
lectman's office might be in the firft insti
tution, it is now become truly mean and
contemptible ; for let man be ever so
upright in his doings, he is for the most
part branded with infamy and disgrace ;
and I believe that ever will be the
case, until men a are more disposed to
virtue, and less to felfilhnefs ; for while
every one is &fpcfed to be lowest in the
taxes, and many, to carry other favorite
matters to the prejudice of the community,
there can be nothing but resentment of 'he
body at large, or the severest reproaches of
individuals, against those who conduct the
public matters ; and the mere upright a
man is in that office, the more likely he is
to be censured ; for if he can avoid the re
fenrment of the former, sure am 1, he will
never eicape the repreaches cf the latter.
Farm. But Sir, have not you 'wrongly
represented the situation of a Selectman,cy
faying the more upright he is in his con
duct,the more likely he is to be censured ;
for my part, I always viewed it to be ve
ry different, and that if a Selectman a&ed
faithfully, he would have the approbation
of every body.
Efa. No, my friend, I believe I was
not mistaken as to that matter, although I
know that there are many honr^ mind? a
mong us, that think as you do ; and was
it not for designing men, as I said before,
that wish to carry favorite points, perhaft
that would be the case as you mention ;
but there are so many that cannot bear up-
and who against it, the whole is laid to
each particular member ; besides, this
office has always a tendency to create ene
mies, who are filled with envy (and you
know the expreflion of the wife man was,
ivbo can stand before envy,) and they are al
ways watching for something, wherewith
to reproach Lis character, and to bring
him into disrepute with the people ; and a
man's enemies are much more alert than
they fappefed he ought to here done, al
ways giving preference to their own judg
licit, which is often the occasion cf ca
lumr.y and severe reproach ; and in all ci
vil matters that are brought befo:ehim,un
lets he gives both parties the cause, he is
fare cf being charged, either with weak
ness of judgment, or of being partial in
saver of him who obtains it. The next
thing you propole in favor of my happi
ness, is my being the Reprefentatiye of
the town, which .# generally thought to be
both honorable and lucrative ; and I con
fefs that such a supposi tion, from the out
ward a,pearances, is not altogether
groundsels ; but upon a more close exam
ination, it must immediately va.rifh : For,
when we consider that ail persons ele&ed
WEDNESDAY, October 2, 1793;
A Hj.l the benevolent mind is fub
jeCt to an entire renovation, by trifling and
natural incidents, will more fully appear
by the following Simple though original
narrative.
right dealing, because it clalhcs with their
unreasonable qefires, that they kndw there
is no other wa, of answering their expec
tations, but by bringing into disre
pute thofc tty are faithful in office, and
as I Lid, .tyn's enemies are more alert
chan lrs fi and will never leave ca
lumn:a;\g uil they have made the peo
,!e believe tl t these who are their best
irieods to be their greatest enemies.
Farm. V/e'l Sir, if that is the case, I
will never thisk fa mean any more of my
own circumdaices, but must fupp^fe that
those that live the most retired, are in fad
rhe melt happy.
Be. That is truly case, that a retired
life, 11 of all the happiett, and has been
attested to in all ages, even Augustus Ce
sar, tho' he TCs lord of the whole world,
had a desire to go into a retired life. Ano
now my friend, 1 trull that by thi, time
you arc convinced that those things which
you fuppefed to be the cause cf unhappi
nefs, are really the causes cf happiness, &
altho'you fay you are low io the world
yet by industry you have a comfortable li
viag, (and i&duftry is necessary to create
hcppineis.) there is no body that en
vies you, c wishes to injure your char
acter, and you are permitted to live in
peace and quietness ; while those that are
employed in public matters, are always
exposed to ths fligma and reproach of un
grateful morals.
Philander was a youth of a very flexible
disposition : He was accustomed to good
company, and highly esteemed among the
fair : On the recital of five lines of a su
blime competition, 1 have fern him both
smile and weep.
With a temper so irritable, he was like
wise so unhappy as not to command it ; his
best friends must feel the weight cf it when
provoked, which would sometimes happen
upon the most trivial circumstances : How
ever, a few foft words would commonly
reclaim him to tenderneis : His heart was
good, and he lamented the want of philos
ophy to govern it.
He married Lncellia, whose foul was
congenial to his ; a Short time elapsed when
the flights of passion to which they were
both addicted, rendered them the most un
happy, miserable beirgs on earth! The
conicquence was that after a few years
spent in this manner, a reparation took
place : Philander to seek his fortune in
in life, and Lucellia to her father's house.
They h&d but one child,a daughter whcni
they named Irene ; the mother claimed
this as her portion, and the father was ca
fily prevailed to ~ive it up.
Philander mixed with the gay world ;he
frequented company of fashion, and was
running into almost every excess that ex
travagance and luxury could bellow;
By a series of sudden and unexpeaed
misfortunes, Lucellia's father became re
duced to abjed poverty, and Lucellia
with her little daughter, being depend
ents on him, were fubjeded to all the
miseries arising from such a distressed situ
ation.
These tidings could ftot fail of reach
ing the ear of Philander which often
brought the dews of reflection into his
eyes; but these feelings were loan drown
ed amidst the splendors of novelty, and
the pom? and charms which confantiy sur
rounded jim.
It wat at a splendid entertainment which
Philander had given to his gay compan
ions.—The company were tested around
the feftive Board, and mirth end hilarity
Upon this I withdrew, and what palled
afterwards, I am not able to inform.
From the NEWARK GAZETTE.
For the Columbian Informer, %.
Meffis. Printers,
1 HE Censor still lives," but
be lives mt fill; he Itiles himfelf Censor.
by what power he received his appoint
ment I know Qt ; but this may b, (aide'
him, that he is exceedingly Censorious, let
the two words Hand in his dictionary as
they may, and I may add, harshly sonorous
too ; his sarcasms on my charity for him,
has obliged me to undertake a reply ; his
attempts to " true reasoning" and his
pretentious to dress truth in its native
beauty are highly prostituted. Mr. Cen
sor surely miftrkes himfelf when he would
Signify his Goddess, his language discov
ers his mind too much tinged with the ef
fervcfcer.ee of prejudice ; and as a corro
borating proof thereof,he is so wrapt up in
his one-sided notions, that he challenges
any One who dares to make any remarks
on his former Censors : Ha thinks not a
word can be said against his tenets, that
his Cranium is the repository of all the
true reasoning, contained within the lim
its of New-nampihire, and thinks his
bare pretensions to reason, virtue and re
gard to truth, will gain him a sure ascen
dancy. No wonder Messrs. Printers I feel
diffident to life opposition to so powerful
an opponent —Crushed beneath his feet,he
thinks Zenex lies prostrate, which he
fays affords him no small fatisfadion ; but
altho' he believes he has vanquished hid
antagonist, altho' he pretends he is dicta
ted by reason, and fays virtue and every
tender passion fills his breast, he Hill will
trample on his conquered adversary ; to
perlift in this is not reason. Without rea
son, where is virtue ; without those, truth
is unknown : Thus playing off under the
disguise of a moral faint, his contaminated
fluff, emitted from the repository of dis
simulation ; from such condud,Mr. Cen
sor becomes entitled to another daSh of my
pen.„
In looking into the Censors, how ma
ny of the ambiguous and doubtful appear;
When a man undertakes to correct the
faults of others, he cught to look well to
himfelf—he ought to be in word and deed
truly circumfped, otherwise the world at
large will deem his sallies on the virtues,
mere hypocrisy ; and he ought to have
abilities when he attempts to moralize on
his neighbors sentiments, their practices,
or general conduct : If Mr. Censor
stands qualified, let him proceed ; for my
part I confides him as an enthusiastic big-
fi led the apartment ; when a beautiful lit
tle child, in a very ffiabby dreft, entered
he room, and running up to Philander,
with a tc^r landing in each eye, cries out.
Papa ! plcafe togi=e Irene a piece of bread
anil butter ; Irene mo,farmed! Philander
gazed w:th amazement—it was his own
child ! Parental fondnels pervaded his
heart, with all the returning tenderness
cf conjugal endearments, he feiz^d the
infant in his arms, and bursting into tears,
immediately left the room.
In an adjacent apartment he found his
wife and her aged father ; Philander batt
ened to leave those fcener of transitory de
lusion, without once taking leave of his
late companions ; with his family he re
tired to the country, and engaged in bufi
nefr, determined to expatiate former ir
regularities by future latitude and repar
ation,
Since that day having no attachment
'o his former ccurfe of life, he has ever
proved the tender bufband, indulgent pa
rent and unshaken friend ; he has now
gained the noble art of governing the pas
sions; and Lucellia's d^pcfition alfm be
ing foftened by adversity, no longeil&i
tinues to deform her countenance, or raif
turb the repefe of her family ; in short,
their whole endeavors are to pleaie each
other, and their happiness seems to confit
in demeftic enjoyments.
[Whole No. 27.]