The Newhampshire gazetteer — Exeter, N.H., 1790-03-20 00:00:00, page 4

And oft when Sal', proud chariot quits.the iky,
And humble Cynthia mounts her one horse chair,
To that snug ciofet (hall thy vot'ry fly,
And, wrapt in darkness, keep his orgies there —
Lift the full bottle joyous to his head,
Then, great as Casar, reel sublime to bed.
ANECDOTE.
A GENTLEMAN in a neighbouring town, a
few days ago—attending the funeral of his
wife to the grave —after the interment, turned to
the attendance, and returned them all his hearty
thank?, at the fame time hoped it would soon be
;Qq„^^
Our fathers were too wife to think of war :
They knew the woodlands were not quickly past:
They might have met with many an ugly fore—
Loft many a foretop—and been beat a: loft.
But Rum, assisted by his son Disease,
Perform'd tne business with surprising ease.
And would our weftern brethren be less proud,or,
In other words throw by the gun and drum
Fer ducks & squirrels save their lead and powder
And fend the tawny rogues some pipes of R u j
—I dare predi&, they all would gladly fuck it
And every mother's son soon kick the bucket. '
But, lo ! the ingratitude of Adam's race !
Tho' all the clever, things to Rum we owe—
Gallons of ink are squirted in his face,
And his bruis'd back is bang'd with many a blow:
Some hounds of note have rung his funeral knell,
And every puppy joins the general yell.
So have I seen, (the fimilie is fine,
And wonderfully pat, tho' rather old)
When riling Phoebus (hot his rays benign,
A flock of Iheep come Dipping from the fold :
Some restless ffieep cries baa—and all the throng,
Ewes, rams,lambs, wethers, bellowing pour along.
Bul fear not, Ram, tho' fircely they assail,
And none but I, the bard, thy caafe defend,
Think not thy foes, tho' numerous (hall prevail,
Thy power diminish, or thy being end :
Tho' fpurn'd from table, and the publick eye,
In the snug closet fafely (halt thou lie.
Hail, mighty Rum ! thy song infpiriag merit
Is known to many a bard in these our days :
Rollo's drink, they find, is void of spirit—
Mere chicken broth —insipid as thei r lays :
And pleas'd, they'd give a riv'let—aye, a sea
Os tuneful water, for one quart of thee !
Hail, mighty Rum! how wond'rous is thy power !
Unwarm'd by thee, how would our spirits fail !
When dark December comes, with afped four,
And ffiarp as razor, blows the northern gale !
And yet thou'rt grateful in that sultry day,
W,en raging Sirius darts his forvid ray.
Hail, mighty Ram! to thee the wretched fly,
And find a sweet oblivion of their woes ;
Lock'd in thy arms, as in the grave they lie—
Forget their kindred and—forgive their foes :
And Lethe's dreams (so much extoll'd by some
In ancient times) I shrewdly gaefs was Rum!
Hail, mighty Rum ! and by this general name
I call each species, Whifo, Gin, or Brandy ;
(The kinds are various—but the effea the fame;
And so I choose a name that's short and handy :
For reader, know, it takes a deal of time,
To make a crooked word lie fmoothe in rhyme.)
A RISE! ye pimpled, tipling rate, arise !
4A From cv'ry town and village tave,n come !
Shew your red noses and o'er flowing eyes,
And help your poet chant the praise ot rum.
The cordial drop, the morning dram, I hng,
The midday toddy, and the evening ilmg.
Hail,mighty Rum ! what csnthy power withstand !
E'en lordly reason flies thy dreadful face ;
And health, and joy, and all the lovely baud
Os social virtues, shun thy dwelling place :
For in whatever bread it rears its throne,
Like Turkish monarchs, Run must rule alone.
When our bold fathers crofs'd the Atlantic wave,
And here arriv'd —a weak defencelefs band,
Pray, what .became of all the tribes so brave—
The savage owners of this happy land ?
Were they sent headlong to the realms below,
" By doom of battle ?".Friend, I answer no.
SEAT of the MUSES.
EULOGIUM on.RUM.
Peace for the County in which Town or
place lies ; And the said Justices having exa
mined said account and adjusted the lame, shall
certify such sum (as they shall think proper
to allow) to the President for the time being,
who is hereby authorized with advice of
Council to draw an order for the payment of
the fame out of the public Treasury.
Provided always, That it shall be the duty
of the Selectmen in the cases aforefaid, to use
all lawful means to obtain an allowance from
such person or persons as by law may be liable
to pay for the support of any such poor pefons
previous to their application to the sessions in
An ACT,
For railing three Thousand Pounds for de=
fraying the charges of Government the cur
rent year. s ,
Laws of the State of
.New-Hamplhire.
._ — IB ■■■—! ■ ,
BE IT ENACTED BY THE SENATE AND
HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES in
GENERAL COURT convened, That the
sum of three Thousand Pounds in specie, or
specie orders on the freafury of this state, be,
and hereby is railed for defraying the charges
of Government the current year ; And the
Treasurer of said state is hereby directed to is
sue his warrants to the Selectmen or Assessors,
of the leveral towns parishes and diftridfs with
in this state according to the proportion AT
passed in February one thousand seven hun
dred and eighty nine. And the feleffmen and
Assessors thereof are hereby refpeaively requir
ed to assess and levy said sum and cause the
fame to be paid into the Treasury aforefaid at
or before the firft day of January next.
Whereas it is necessary a fam of money foozl'd be
raijed for the, purposes above mentioned,
Therefore.
And the laid assessments shall be made accor
ding to each persons poll and rateable Estate,
which he shall have, arid be possessed of on the
firft day of April next, and orders drawn by
the President on the Treasurer, (hall be receiv
ed in payment of the aforefaid sum, as well by
the Constables and collectors as by the Trea
surer aforefaid.
In addition to the laws now in force provid
ing for the support and maintenance of the
Poor.
Whereas by the laws now in force, no provifon
is made for the support of such poor persons as are
not inhabitants of any town or place in this fate.
For remedy whereof,
BE IT ENACTED BY THE - SENATE
AND HOUSE OF REPRESENTA
TIVES IN GENERAL COURT CONVE
NED, That when any perlon not an inhabi
tant of any town or place in this State, shall
be visited with sickness, or otherwise stand in
need of relief, in any Town or Place, in this
State, the Selectmen of such Town or Place,
shall lay the account thereof before the Jus
tices of the Court of General Sedions of the
An AC T,
They range thro' woods, and hills
[and dales,
phey climb up rock, & fink in vales;
' ^ey drag along thro' fncw & froft,
WOLF-HUNTING.
That Wolves were not to be Rurgojn'd
* The plan was to surround them.
From Wallington, et cetera.
I AST Thursday was a day of
' [ f P or „
To drive the Wolves from mountain
[fore
Five hundred men, or left or more,
That Lamb-devouring, cruel race,
[fun,
From Stockbridge, Lenox, Pittsfield,
LL ee >
Our Sheep's great enemies to flay.
Convinc'd with all their forces join'd.
Sat out the woods and hills t' explore.
Co uneh, Captains, Soldiers, all
These hungry monsters to surround;
Both great and small, both old and
[yo^g,
Came flush'd with hopes of having
ANECDOTE.
A WELL known per
^fon of an odd tnrn
of humour, riding on horse
back, happened to meet an-%
other equal, to himfelf, in a
lane so narrow that neither
could pats without one giv
ing way, which neither
would do. Both made a
halt, and not a single word
was ipoken, until the firft
mentioned deliberately pull
ed a newspaper out of his
pocket, and began reading
it to himfelf with the ut
most composure, when the
other determined to prove
an equal degree of patience
and obstinacy, leisurely
took a pinch of fnuff, and
very gravely accosted him,
“ Sir when you have done
with that paper, I should be
glad to look at it," which
so pleased the humourift,
that he immediately putted
off his fpe&acles, and seized
him by the hand,declaring at
the fame time, 'that he should
ft—fa—2
From foreA.haunte to haunt & chafe ;
A well concerted plan* they lay,
Some faint some hungry, others loft.
'Twas belt no further to proceed ;
Were arm,d with powder, gun and
[ball.
Then home they come as wet as muck
At break of day from bed they bound
That tach for home mould shape his
[courfe.
All cry'd 'The Devil take the luck ;'
For fear of meeting something worse:
At length much tir'd they all agreed,
From the Western Star.