The Columbian informer, or, Cheshire journal — Keene, N.H., 1793-10-09 00:00:00, page 4

Messrs. Printers,
" Whoso findeth a nuife, findeth a good
thing." Solomon.
() SOLOMON, Solomon—little
did ft thou think what this fame proverb of
yours was like to bring upon your reputa
tion,—Half the husbands of Massachusetts,
at least are at variance with you for it.—
The firft three or four weeks after mar.
^ HERE is much greater aa
carnage, than people are apt to imagine, in
vbferwng thefri^ef truth and accuracy in
conservation. I have observed two kinds of
error wb ; cb we are prone to contrafl, and
which imperceptibly infufe tbemflves into our
train of thinking and (peaking. One if them
proceeds from beedlffnefs ; the other from
'vanity. Many pefons bafiily catch a report
as it flies, and without either examining its
credibility, or being exaß in afeertaining the
particulars, they conjure up a vague improba
ble tale and expose it to the world as matter
of fafi. Such people have no intention of de
ceiving, but a certain indolence of mind pre
vents them from weighing ibe probabilities,
and learning an accurate view of the affair
which they take up and circulate. Ii is ev
ident that men of this description soots luofe their
influence in gaining belief, and tho' perhaps
they are not palpably charged with fafbeod,
they are fuppofd to fpeakyo much at random
that little credit is due to their representa
tions.
The miflakes of men who are prompted
by vanity to mifcolour truth are equally in
jurious to credibility of character, as tbofe
which are the offspring ofcareltfnefs. Some
performs are so fond of deploying a lively imag
zations, and of giving a fine air of embel
lifement to whatever they relate, that we
can never frilly rely upon the certainty of
their communications. Nothing can be more
ill judged, than for any one to imagine be can
fa,port a weight of reputation among men,
while be yields bimfelf up to the delufans of
fancy, and allows any circumflance to divert
him from a fttad, adherence to truth, in those
assertions and reports, which be pronounces
as matter of fall. Such a person, when bis
cbara&er for exaggeration is once known, is
never livened to with confidence. His ac
quaintance bear him converse, witbout rely
ing on the trutb accurately as be fates it ;
and when be bas fnijbed bis barrangue, the
bytfanders acknowledge be has made a fine
gory, but fay among themfives, great allow
ance is to be made because this person is apt
to exaggerate.
Both tbefe cbaraflers the one who mis
conceives and mij'relates a faß from inatten
tion ; and the other who heightens and mis
represents, from a vain define of knowing
much, or freaking eloquently, are held in little
estimation, The only fare method of preferr
ing weight and influence, is cautionfly and
uniformly to adhere to trutb in ever, nar
ration. There is an intrinsic excellence in
truth. Its energy cannot be raffled. If alt
men would critically reserve this course of re
flexion, the, would inf, ire a perfeX confi
dence in all who heard their declarations,
and perhaps the, might pass through life,with
out once having their veracity called in ques
tion.
^sss@^@sss&*
^oe^d Corner.
*ty° •ottooeoteoooeocoeoOTCtt 'ft
The DISAPPOINTED HUSBAND.
Scolding wifefo long aflee, poffefs'd ;
Her spouse prefum'd her foul was now at rest.
Sable was call'd to bang the room with black,
alnd all their cheer was sugar rolls and fuck.
Two mourning faffsflood centry at the door,
Andfilence reign'd who ne er was there before ;
The cloaks, and tears, and handkerchiefs pre
far'd,
They walk in woeful ,cm, to the churchyard;
When fee, in narrow greets, what misjebtefs
come !
The <uery dead can't ,ass in quiet home ;
Byfeme rude jolt the coffin lid was broke,
And madamfrom her dream of death awoke.
Now all was f,oil'd! the undertaker' s pay,
Sourfaces, cakes ^ wine, quite thrown away.
But feme years after, when the former Jcene,
Was a&ed, and the coffin nail'd again,
The tender bufband took especial care
To keep the passage from disturbance clear,
Charging the bearers that they tread aright.
Nor put bis dear in fueb another fright.
IQ>C ^„g<g)4^> O^> K^XQ^G}^^)&O^^ % XA^XQ<\„
The M ONIT O R.
From the GUARDIAN.
riage, hatbands will read it perhaps with
a good relilh, (hut up the book, fmiie up
on fancy, fay that the wife man was right,
and that she is a good thing.—Some
months elapse, and a sew-cross grained
sentences exchanged—the husband will
peruse the fame passage doubtingly—Sol
omon might be a good man, he will fay,
but anting his pardon, he must be miflaken
in this particular ; wives if they are like
mine,may not prove to be the good things
he tells of. But hear him when the year is
expired, and he will read this proverb
if he reads it at all, with all the ill nature
peculiar to his situation—he will swear
that Solomon was a fool—that he knew
nothing about it—he will acknowledge
that a good thing might be found a
mong Solomon's regiment of wives; but
to be obliged to take them on# at a time,
as is now the fafhion—whofo findeth a
wife findeth This is the language
of fame husbands but not all—some are
yetof the wife man's opinion, I will in
quire who they are and let you know next
week.
" Hearing of a smart, but poverty
flruck young sailor, who had lately joined
hands with an old maiden lady, rich as
foe was prudent, I repaired to their house
immediately, here, thought 1 will be found
a staunch advocate for King Solomon-he
will certainly acknowledge his wife to be a
good thing, and not without reason, he
was naked and (he clothed him, starving
and she fed him, besides, she made him
lord over all she had—As I found him
alone, I silked if Lis good lad, was from
home, and when she would return—o
d—n her, said he, she is out after me—t
left head quarters last evening, riinour
her knowledge to reconnoitre a neighbor
ing Lady—she, as soon as my retreat was
dife ed, dispatched a number of spies,
but . e failing in their manoeuvre:; and
her ' patience being quite exhausted, she
left her hammock, and joined her party
in person, in the mean time I left my
Dulcena, and by a forced march regained
the fortrefs, after a short reconnoitre,
in which one was made prisoner, (point
towards a comely wenchjuft then entering
the room, who really looked as if she had
been fkirmifhing)—the old j—c added he,
is now on the scout To have mention
ed my text to this son cf Neptune, would
have endangered my life, fol ventured
only to fay, your humble servant.
“ All this week I have (pent to find
a hufoand of Solomon's way of thinking—
and a serious jaunt I have had of it—te
dious as it hath been fruit^efs I firft
repeated my text to an old man who had
married a young widow—he, on account
of his years, was a man I supposed cf dis
cretion had made a prudent choice—
and therefore would certainly agree with
the wife man—but to my aftouilhment,
instead of giving me a dired answer, w^h
his trembling hand be conveyed mine to
his head, and allied me if 1 did not feel
HORNS !
" Discouraged half to death with my
lift weeks search, I was alraoft determined
never to make another attempt to And out
a wife cf Solomon's description, hot upon
second thought,however, I plucked up ray
courage and I concluded to Spend anoth
er week—— To insure success I consulted
an old friend, who had long lived a wid
ower—l told him the bufintfs cf my pur
suit, and the poor encouragement I Li
met with ; the old gentleman with tears
in his eyes and Sorrow in his heart, Said,
young man, was Sarah, the lovely, the
virtuous, the induftrioas Sarah still liv
ing, I would shew you the wife, the good
thing Spoken of by the wife man—here he
flopped, Ihook his venerable head, while
a deep sigh escaped—and was then going
on was she very young or very ojd,
said I, interrupting him—had fhs a great
sum of money ! Could She dance well,
and was (he fond of it ? Did ffie dress gay,
often go a-fbopping, and fpenda great
deal of money when file went —and Ihe,
when things went wrong would scold at
you—fall out with the maid, although a
good one, turn her away and get a worse
one, would ihe hold Trim, said the
old man,you are a bachelor ic train,what
despicable ideas have y ou of the faireft,
the most amiable part of creation, not but
that many of your modern wis/es answer
nearly to your description ; but do no'
therefore conclude that all do—no, con
tinned he, Sarah at least was An exception,
and I doubt not but there are many oth
ers. He is next week to give he his his-
ANOTHER WEEK'S RECESS.
RECESS OF A WEEX.
ANOTHER WEEK.
tory,the hiftory of Sarah,& direaionshpw &
where to find wives that are good things,
and what he fays is still more difficult—
hufbands that will acknowledge them to
ibe such." • PRIM.
The following observations were published las
year in the Pougbkeepfie Paper, at which
time considerable havock was made by the
inf& among the wheat in that quarter.
A WORTHY citizen, not far from
Cheapfide, who was himfelf a little stricken
inyears, having married a pretty young wife,
the journyman, a brijk blade, fancying him
felf better able to please her than his master,
\had often solicited for the lafl favor, but Jbe
refufag, tho' as he thought but faintly, bis
maj/er having occasion to go into the country
for afew days, be thought that might be a
proper opportunity to accomplijb bis design ; so
taking the time, when his mi,refs was in the
kitchen by berfelf, the maid being ent of the
fe ROM the best information l ean
get of this difalter, it is chiefly to be at
tributed to two causes ; the one is, the
farmers seem to have a partiality for the
old kind of grain, commonly called Bald
Wheat ? the other is from sowing too
early.
1 think it is a fad eftablilhed beyond a
doubt, that the damage the Wheat sus
tains by the infe& is done in the month of
September and October ; the plants com
ing u P early and flourishing, while the in
fers retain their vigour, and deposit their
egg or feed in the lower joints of the
Wheat, remain there until fpriog, who re
quire all the strength and virtue of the
plant to support them, and finally cat up
the stalks.
What confirms me in the opinion that
sowing early is of great damage is this :
A neighbor of mine came to my (tore
about the latter end of last October, or
the beginning of November, and express
ed his anxiety about being so late in sow
ing his Wheat, and was in some doubt,
whether it was not best to let his ground
lie over without putting on his crop ; I
immediately recollected some experiments
1 had made it New Jersey, of the effeßs
of faltpetre in promoting the vegetation of
corn, and told him if he would follow the
fame procefl with Lis Wheat, 1 did not
doubt but it would forward his crop at
least two weeks ; he accordingly tock the
faltpetre, used it agreeably to my direc
tions, and sowed hit Wheat—He inform
ed me about the beginning of June, that
his late sowed Wheat was much Superior to
what he had sowed early, and that it was
four or five inches taller, and better eve
ry way.
DIRECTIONS. To every bushel of
feed Wheat, take four ounces of faltpetre,
dissolve the nitre in as much brook water,
put in the Wheat about sunset, and take
it out the farce time the next day, let i;
be spread on a dr, floor until morning ;
when it will be fit to few ; if the weather
is unfavorable for sowing, being stormy
or a rain, let the Wheat be spread thinner
on the floor, that it may not beat or swell
too much.
The above observations and directions
are humbly submitted to the mere expe
rienced farmers, who I know to be very
tenacious cf old customs; but whether
they agree with me in sowing earlier or
later, I am confident the use of nitre as
aforefaid, would be cf great fcrvice, either
on Corn or Wheat.
Being filled with wheat and w^er, the
whole is set in motion by a rake with a
long handle, and teeth about fourteen in
ches long.
An half door at one end delivers the
foul and swimming wheat, &c. and a
whole door at the other end, delivers the
cleaned grain.
One thousand buffiels may be walhed in
a day.
Irconfifts of a box twelve feet long,
eighteen inches wide, and fix feet high—
playing on the centre upon an axle, for
easily delivering the contents to a drying
floor.
A drying floor may be made of laths,
well plained, and nailed so elofe as to per
mit a passage for air from below, and yet
not fufficiently wide to lose the wheat.
A machine for wafoing cf Wheat, lately in
vented for Mills.
AGRICULTURAL INFORMATION.
' ANECDOTES.
way enfant errand, be told her that wight be
would fealfoftly into her chamber, when foe
was in bed. Ifyou de, said foe, beware of
yourfelf, for I will take this great kitchen
knife up with me into my bed chamber.
At night the J,ark opened the door ver,
'gently, but, remembering the knife, was a
\fraid to go forward, Jbe bearing bim, ofkA
who was there ? It is I, replied the journey
man, and was refolded to come to bed to you
but that I remembered the great knife. O
what a fell, jade was I, Jaid fa, to leave
the knife in the kitchen.
A^GENTLEMAN fare time since,
riding into a village in the Rate of New-
Jersey, was met, on h'^ entrance, by an
honest sage inhabitant belonging to the
fame—and being in want of a Justice of
the Peace, made enquiry where one might
be found ? To which the sage replied, " 1
do not know whether you will find one in
the town I" No ! said the gentleman,with
aflonifhment.—No ! said the ocher ; "there
are 'Squires enough, but no JUSTICES !"
^ ! > >793-
INFORMATION is hereby given to all
the Military Invalids of the United
States, that the fems to which they arc
entitled for fix months of their annual pen
iion, from the 4th day of March loft, and
which will become due on th sth of Sep
tember next, will be paid on the said day
by the Comiuimaneis of the Loa^fo- "A-'--
in the States refpedively under the usual
regulations.
By Command of the
President sfthe United States.
; H. KNOX. Secretary at War l
A Fine Chance.
THE Subscriber having established a
Polt-Rout from thio Office, thro'
the towns of Surry, Gilfw, Sullwun, Stod
dard, Packer fold, Dublin, Jeffrey, Rindge;
Fitzwilliam and Maryborough, LOW will
fell our, provided any person will give
good security for what papers they receive
from the Office—there are now 150 sub-
Bribers on said rout, and incresfing fafter
han at any time since its commencement.
For further particulars apply to
WILLIAM W. BLAKE.
Kune, Sept. 11, 1793.
•This day published,
(and for sale at this Office)
THE
PROPHECIES
of the Rev.
Chrift'r Love:
AND HIS LAST WORDS ON THE
S C A FFOL D:
Who was beheaded at Tower- Hill, Lonrten")
on the twenty-Second Day of August, 1651.
S^L!^^:
Copper Still.
FOR Sate, a COPPER STILL and
WORM, almost new, containing
about Thirty Gallons, very suitable for
a redifying Still, in a Grain Dillillery.
Enquire of the Printers.
Keene, Sept. 17th, 793.
JOUR NEYMAN SHOEMAKER.
WANTED immediately a journey
man Shoemaker, who is really a
good workman—to such an one will be
given constant employ and good wages, by
DAVID SIMMONS.
Keene, Sept. 4th, 1793.
BLANK DEEDS, JUDICE'S WRITIr
and EXECUTIONS, BLANK NOTES
of HAND, and RECEIPTS, forfole
at this Office.
M. BLANCHARD, adopted Citizen
of the principal Cities in Europe, Pension
er ofthe French nation, Member of fevc
ral Academies, &c. has invented a CAR
RIAGE, which runs without the affiliate?
of horses and goes as fall as the best post
chaise.—AN AUTOMATION IN THE
SHAPE OF AN EAGLE, chained to the
tongue of the Carriage, and guided by the
traveller, who holds the reins in his hands,
directs it in every refped. This extraor
dinary Carriage cannot only travel on all
roads but likewise afeend any mountain
which is acceflib!e to any common Car
riage. The dillance it may proceed is
unlimited, as there are to springs in the
case that require winding up.
7/ ar ~/)eJiarti)i&7il.
PHILADELPHIA.
A CURIOUS CARRIAGE.
.•^^x&tt.;rr-<ae