The Mirrour — Concord, N.H., 1794-04-28 00:00:00, page 4

EPITAPH,
Upon an old woman—written by her neigh-
bour.
HERE lies the wifeof neighbour Thomas
Whom death in mere, carried, fom us.
For when alive, fa was 'b old,
So homely,JluttiJb—fucb a Jcold, •
That sound about her, for a mile,
All things were in a const ant broil.
Wev'e known her farm at /web a rate,
That even her chimney back would jweat,
Trammels thro' fear forget to bold,
And red-hot coals of fire feel cold.
Her bufband newer cropp'd 4 tear,
'Till be bad plac'd her body here;
And tben be blubber'd like a lout,
For fear fa'd ferateb her pafoge out.
; 4 1 '"." — -== '_ r -< = "!,'\ ..7; —~
Original Anecdote.
A Gentleman by the name of PECK,
called upon his Landlord Silly
6 How do you do, Mr Peck,' fays Silly,
='' You know it takes four pecks to make
1 bulhel= — True, Tetorts Peck, hut it does
not take but one Silly to make a d==d fool.
A GENTLEWOMAN feeing an old friend
Os hets, rafted him if he was married ; he
said, no ; You look very well, laid the gentle
woman. lam apt to think you make ufeof wi-\
seers : No madam, the reafon l look jo well, is be
cause I have nothing to do with wipers.
MAXIMS for the LADIES.
YOUNG women, who are hand
some, 100 well, aimoft in any
(fieff; they are, however, the least
engaging when they affeft to be sin
gular, and strive to be peculiarly at
traaive. But how difguftful does
that woman appear, who, with eyes
devoid of luftre § a wrinkled fore,
head, and a fallow complexion ; taw
drily dressed, like a girl in her teens,
and affumet all the fantaftick airs of
qfinifhed coquet !
A woman who expects to make
her fortune by her beauty, would do
well to reflea on its transitory nature,
and endeavour to acquire thofectyms
which will oat only flourifh in the
spring, but retain thtir Steal even
BEAT OF THB HUSES.
from the IMPARTIAL HERALD.
Mt.Blvnt, ee
You arc requeued to insert the following in
your paper—laid to be written by an. Afr
ican in Boston, to his friend in this town,
soon after the Theatre was opened.
S° dear Cuffi —if you cbufe,
I fend,ou down 4 piece of news ;
Our to wn is now fwell'd full of 'motion,
For " Boson folks are full of notion !"
No fink osprey's, now —Cuffi, I rage,
What link of pray-house, and a sage ?
For Maffa Powell, late from Briton,
To ruin all, a plan has bit on.
What tink, you, Cuffi, not enough,
T' port dere gewgaw, silk and tuff,
But in a bargain—worje and worse,
Dere male and female ading curse,
Nay, don't you laugh—dere Cuffi well,
E're long, dey fed fa Saxon, toll a belief
Left eight, with Dina, nothing do,
But jbe mus follow rabble too !
To tell,Oto all, Cuffi 'dfhock you,
De deble take de ading grew.
Now bijs, now tamp, now swear, now bail.
Some tater tbrow—fome for Syra call,
And fame with tongue well soak wi' brandy,
With eb'ry kind of nonsense bandy,
Some roar for dis—and feme for dat,
Prince Eaward's name went pitapat.
He march from Canada, Jome one call,
And awful 'fufion feook de ball.
Wbat tink,ou, Cuffi, drea'ful time,
O could I peak em all in rhyme ;
How Boson fok, for 'ligion rated,
Sbou'd 6e, of late degenerated ;
Cou'd parsons Pemberton and Madefy
And man, oder pious Fader,
From dere old grave once take apeep,
Don't tink dere good old faintfotps weep ?
Tes—dey loould weep, and weeping Jay,
How quick dey're turn from good ole way 1
Wbat good rejult from pious preacher,
Dey're wiser grown dan dey're own teacher !
So news, dere Cuff, no more difrefs'e,
To eb'ry friend, I jay, Gaubreffe.
M, tub to Sjlba, if you preze,
I long her jetty band to queze,
lfear you're tir'd of my tuff,
Iffo—adirw, dere broder Cuff.
in the winter of life. It will be wis
dom in her to confider, that the man
who shall marry her merely for person
al attractions, will, when they shall be
injured by disease or time, behold her
with indifference, if not with disgust.
Os Marriage.
THERE is one step more to make
your life comfortable, and to ad
vance your fortune, and that it, well
to dispose of yourfeJ in marriage ;
certainly a business which requiteth
grave consideration.
Ride not post for your match, if
you do, you may in the period of your
journey take Sorrow for your inn, and
make repentance your host.
If you marry, espouse a virtuous
perfan ; a celebrated beauty, like a
fair, will draw chapmen from all parts.
I would not advise vou to merry a
woman sot her beauty ; for beauty is
like summer fruits which are apt to
corrupt, and not laftirig.
Never marry So much for a great
living, as a good lite ; yet a fair wife
without a portion, it like a brave house
without furniture ; you may pteafe
yourfelf with the prospect, but there's
nothing within to keep you warm.
Si vis nabere Pari ; those weddings
are the happiest, where the parties are
firft matched before they marry. If a
man marries a woman much superior
to himfelf, he is not so truly husband
to his wife, as he is unawares made
Slave to her portion.
Be fore you love her perlon better
fin her estate ; for he who marrieth
where he doth not love, will be Sure
to love where he doth not marry ; Ind
love without ends, hath no end.
from THE CHRONICCE.
A letter from ,ACK MlZENand bis Officiates.
MESSMATES !
WE freighted a small packet
on board the CiNTiNiLlaft
week to inform you of the orders of
Tom Bowling, to appear at the
general rendezvous on Monday last
to promote our brave Lieutenant to
the Captaincy.
Tom is as honest a fellow as ever
ftep'd between stem and stern. You
may fee hit heart, as easy as you can
take an observation in a clear horizon.
He is one of your fniffiing fellows
that will roll up their eyes like a cook
in a fmoaky caboufe, and pretend to
be your friend, while they will be
Rearing their Ship in your wake, and
endeavour to injure the rigging of
your reputation, by swabbing it with
d d lies.
It would have done you good, to
have seen Tom seated on deck after
returning from the Ship Faneoil, on
Mbnday last : He hailed us as Ship
mates, as we came on board and hav
ing a can of grog, he drank success
and longlife to his worthy Lieuten
ant-He laid he was now willing,
Since there was a profpea of his pro
matioo, (notwithstanding the stern
chafes of a lubberly Capeann logger,)
to lay in his teaftores, buy a new jack
knifa and enter on board the State
Ship, on any expedition that Should
be planned for the good of the coun
try. Now, fays he, we can fail with
Safety having a Cwain that will stand
his watch, and knows how to manage
the Ship in a heavy gale— with such
a seaman he would engage to release
Jack O'Brien from Algerine cap
tivity, -
",
Make choice of jour wife by the
ears, not the eye#.
He that in the choice of a wife,doth
believe the report of his fight, is like
him who teHing out the portion in his
thought, takes the woman upon con
tent, not examining her condition, or
whether She be fit for him.
THE good woman minds her
own bufi efs, and all is well within
her heart and house. The good man
minds his own bufioefs and lives.=
There is nothing like minding ones
own business, because of dying. The
woman, who hath always minded her
own bufineSs, can when her glass is
run lay it by with fouch calmness, and
die as quietly as the most iriduftrious
people sleep. The man who hath
spent his days with proper attention to
hisown business, having never med
dled with other mens matters to their
injury, can exchange worlds with as
much gladnefr, as did ever a mariner
after a boisterous night exchange dark
ness for light. It is greatly to be la
mented that our Societies are so much
infefted with creatures in human form,
who entirely negleft their own proper
business. They demolish every min
ute, and waste every breath of their
lives by unwelcome intrusions into the
business of others. By and by, when
the last minute is numbering, and last
breath arriving, O the the devil! the
devil torments them. Their Cry is
the sane—l have never once thought
of my own bufinefs—fool that I was
to cheat myfelf to death ; —meddling
with the bufmefs offthers purposely
to injure them, knave injured and
damned myfelf. And now I cannot
repent, it is too late. lam already
in hell, tormented with fire in my
foul which stings me to death. The
next moment he preaches, though he
always despised preaching, he preach
es to the fpedators of his agony, illus
trating this verv text, mind your
own business.— Be not the fools
that I have been. Let this my last
breath be fared, and be as one drop
On the mention of O'Brien his
eyes began to glisten and he could
not but Shed tears at the misfortunes
of this brave fellow and his comrades.
Seven long years in Slavery, he ex
claimed—an honest seaman to be for
faken by his country for many years
—pining upon half allowance, &c.—
absent from his sweetheart, while
thousands of dollars are spent in the
cabin among many officers who nev
er earned a quarter part of their com
mon rations —also millions of dollars
more in building hulks with ginger,
bread work, cabins and round houses
in the federal Ship, when upwards of
100 indoftrious feameo were chained
to the oar among a cursed banditti of
Algerines, whole release it is proba
ble might be obtained with a fiftieth
pare ot the money Spent 'on these
fouth sea lubbers —As tor his part, he
laid he had rather live in the Steerage
all his lite, than to lounger in the cab
in, when the coast of the decorations
would purchase the freedom of al: the
American seamen now prisoners in
Algiers.
This he laid was cruel, and he in
tended the firft opportunity to Ship
a petition on board the Congress to
request their relief.—^He knew that
the old Admiral would attend to the
petition, as he was ever a friend both
to the mariners and sailors of the fed
eral navy.
Here Jack ftop'd, and handed
round the can, and we promised to
enter with him on board the Mafla
ebufetts, in her prefect cruise, com
m^rtded by the brave veteran. Cape.
Adams.
From rhe Newhampshire Journal, &c.
Muffrs. Editors;..;
The Liter,reters of the languages of mankind are
many, but who /ball interpret their condua ?
Permit one to attempt it whose greateJi merit is
fineerit,.
the INTERPRETER.
CT Mind,our own bufinejs."
AND HIS OLD ASSOCIATES.
JACK MIZEN
of water to cool my tongue.-=Why
art thou wroth O meddler ! and why
is thy countenance fallen ? If: thou
dost well. Shall thou not have the ex
cellency ? know that m e death, of thy
neighbour will not gi^fit thee,- Med
dle not with his life, meddle net with
his concerns undesired, mind ^, own
bfoefs. -hr
l =='="'" t = —
Agriculture s
FROM THE CHRO@Mh
Mtfrs. Printers, '
Asrhe Crows are fretyperftly very
troublesome, by earing the Indian
Corn after it is planted, 1 wifhgou to
publilh the following very easy meth
od to prevent it :
DISSOLVE three quarters of a
pound Saltpetre in water enough te #
cover half a bushel feed Corn ; let it
look three or four days ; Oir it care
fully once or twice each day, that all
the Corn may be impregnated with it,
and the Crows will not visit the field
more than once, and then will eat but
very little of it. It is also of great
Service against the Grub-Worm, so
troublesome in low ground.
And Mtffrs. Printers, let me also
recommend planting Corn the begin
ning of May, and if by a late froft in
the Spring it is killed, do not replant
it, as it will sprout again, and before
the Fall recover its lull growth, and
be as forward as if the froft had not
touched ix. Many are so fearful of a
froft in the spring, as to make it so
late before they plant, that the Corn
is often hurt by the froft in the Fall,
which it can never recover.
A FARMER.
Marlborough, April, 179^
Half an acre of LAND, together
with a Shop,fit for a trader or mechanic, and #
convenient bouje and barn, on the premises, situat
ed in Hopkinton, about half a mile saft of the
meeting bouje, on the main rood to Concord.
For terms of sale, apply to
MARK JEWETT.
Hopkinton, April yb, 1794^ 77
Amos Rojs's Estate.
A LL perforin who are indebt
ed to, or have any demands on, the es
tate of Amos Ross, late of Henniker, deceas
ed, are hereby notified to bring in their ac
counts to the fubferiber, living in Warner,
for Settlement, by the firft of Sept. next.
BENJAMIN FOSTER.
Warner, April 14th, 1794. 78
Runaway Boy.
RAN away fiom me, the fub
feriber, on the thirteenth inflant, an
indented BOY, named
James Hannaford b
in the nineteenth year of his age ; about 5
feet four inches high ; light complexion ;
(hort hair. Whoever will take up laid run
away, and return him to me, shall have one
penny reward, and no charges paid.
All persons are forbid trust
ing, harbouring or employing said runaway,
as they would avoid the penalty of the law.
DAVID TILTON.
Gilmantown, April 14th, 1794.
CASH to be fold for OLD RAGS
at Rvuell'i Printing Offices
° .Will Cover
tb" Season, at tbe fiaAetf
I Stephen Dow,
Uft Ttnn<} Weare^ r
,And Humphr E y Peasley, Dearing,
The noted blind H ORS E, fixeen hands
V' r high, called
The M'Farland HORSE.
HE covered the two last seasons at Ha
verhill, proved very sure for getting
Colts ; for further recommendation, fee hit
colts, where kept last featon
The terms will be, 6% a leap,
125. the season, and 245. to ensure a Foal.—
The Horse to be half the time at Dearing,
to be a week at each place ; firft week of May
at Weare.
STEPHEN DOW.
Weare. April 8, 1794. 77
for sale,