The Mirror — Concord, N.H., 1798-01-23 00:00:00, page 4

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THE
SENTIMENTAL MEDLEY.
' C 'TO RAISETHEGENIUS, AND TO MENDTHEHEART.”
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THE RIVULET.
[The late bait-powder tax in Great
britain requires an annual guinea for
the privilege of having locks “ well
mealed." They, who pay it are call
ed " Guinea pigs" Unpowdered
people are called 66 swine." The
term “ crop" is applied to that pru
dent beau, who wears his hair short.
The following is an excellent Song at
the expense of tbefe abfurdities.]
Tumi— BOW— wow—wow —
GOOD people all attend to me, I'll Jing
a merry tale, fir,
elbout the various novelties and titles tbit
prevail,Jir,
For now both lords and ladies too, or wear tbs
hair or wigs, fir ;
If ibe, throw flour upon their beads, are call
ed Guinea Pigs,fir.-
Squeak, freak, Jqueak, , ,
Pretty Guinea pigs,fir.
Squeak,freak,fqueak.
Then for the rtf, wboje hungry maw a guin
ea ean't afford,fir,
They are, by pride and felly's law, call'd
Swine, upon m, word, fir; .
And if, to save appearances, the, clip their
hair away, fir,
Why, then, we call them simple crops, and
laugh at them all day, fir.
Ha! ba ! ba!
A pretty herd of Swine, fir.
Grunt, grunt, grunt.
'Twas,efter day 1 saw a beau come tripping
thro' ajquare fir,
Two pounds of powder on bis fance, tofcreen
bis want of hair, fir,
He met a ta)lor on the road, a little dapper
And pulb'd him from him with aifdain, cry
ing " Dam'me,year a bog,fir."
Hog, hog, beg,
A little dirt, bog, fir.
Hog, bog, bog._
The taylor bristled up bis locks, andfnapt.bis
Jinan in fury,
Saying, '^ Tho' your tail is now so long, 1
warrant tbefefall cure ye;
" To call a man like me a bog ! a very „ett,
rig, fir !—
<' You fancy, (nub nos'd puppy dog, nay curse
me, you're a pig, fir."
Pig,R,l»,
Ast upd long tail dptg,fr.
Pig,figsPis'
The Taylor flourishing bis Jbtars, then jeiz'd
bis tail so neatly,
That in a trice be wbipt it off, be deckt him
meg completely;
The beau food trembling by bis fide, while
fitch louje, full of gig,fr,-
Cry'd, “ Smoke a beau, who's lof bis tail!
Aflump tail'd Guinea pig,Jir.”
Crop, crop, crop,
Afig without a tail, fir;;
,Crop, crop, crop.
Then we have coats without tbe Jkigts, call'd
Spencers by the mob,fir.
And bats with crowns twelve inches round, to
, ft each kiddy'sob, Jir,
Reticles our ladies in their caps have feathers
<'' niddy noddy,fr,
And round their necks they puddings wear, ^
gown without a body, fir,
Ob! ob !?b!'
Our Indies have no bodies, fir,
± ';Na,no, #O.
Liktwije our females, on their beads, place
turbans, like a Turk, fir,
And golden chains bang down their breafs of
ornamental work,fr ;
Tboje beauties they contrive to few, which
v poor men joon bewitebes,
Indeed, I'm told it for a fa^ they often wear
the breeches.
Lack! lack ! lack!
J^ wear the breaches,fr, ^^ # ,1
F Lack ! lack ! lack ! , ,
Now proffer well, my neighbors all, and let
tbe fajbions paf,frs,
Ma, ever, ode have health and frengtb, both
pig and fwinijb clah,fa.
Then let us always merry be, of hot or cold the
v weather,
4„d may we ever well agree, like loving pigs
Row, wow, wow, {together,
Fal de riddle, tiddfa H'^
Bow, wow, wow.
MISCELLANY.
Fromtbe F akmer'sWeekLyMvseum.
Common, Sense, in Difeabilh.
N°. XXVIII.
CURE FOR THE HYPO;
pOO complaint has puzz'ed phy
sicians or troubled their pa
tients more than the hypo. Whe
ther tbit malady was an antedilu
vian, or originated in the cloyften
of the dark ages, the author it un
able to determine: he would not,
like divines, disputing about the
intreduaion of fin, quarrel about
its origin. As a friend to order,
arid one who loves to fee cheerful
facet, he wishes it to be excluded
from the society of man. It it a
perfect diforgaoizer in the repub
lick of the mind. When once it,
gains influence, farewell tranquili
ty. The Legislative powers of
reafori is fufpeded and opposed.—
The executive of the will weak
ened and interrupted in its office.
It is a complete grumbletoniao—
views every thing on the dark
fide, lets nothing to rights, but is
forever muttering, every thing is
going to ruin.—A fad companion
this —Let Common Sense pre
scribe a remedy. All diseases,
should be checkedio the beginning.
The hypo, like fadion, should be
silenced in its firft murmurs. Like
ayoung lover, it makes timid ap
proaches at firft. It is of the cow
ardly kind, and seldom appears in
front of our enemies ; but com
monly brings up the rear of our
misfortunes. On its firft appear
ance, " resist it," and like Satan,
it will" flee from thee." Never
think, because it is sometimes the
companion of great men, and bril
liant talents, it must be admitted
into your closet, or follow into
company. Have some regard to
the bappioefs of your friends, and
you will afta cheerfulnefs, rather
than give way to a gloomy tem
per. The hypd is the eclipse of
the mind ; when we fee a bright
character benighted with this fa
ble fiend, we are apt to think some
evil planet rules, and with opr
fefves fpedators of a more pleaf
iog fight—it is not eify to find
one more disagreeable. Beware
of " Sylla and Charybdis :" stea
dy prudence falls between them,
and is seldom molested by this har
py. Immoderate grief, or excef
iive joy, invite the gloomy guests.
Raise the voice to too high a pitch,
and it looses its powers ; so it is
~with the mind. One extreme
commonly follows another § and
the hypo is apt to follow all ex
tremes. Industry and innocent
amusement are the greatest friends
to health and happiness, and the
most formidable enemies to this
disorder. If the complaint has
become inveterate, 1 would re
commend, every clear morning, a
fight at the riling fun, moderate
exercise, nutritive food^and cheer
ful company. Never indulge sol
itude : the hypo, like the alLffin,
seeks the solitary vidim. Do not
think to drown it with ardent spir
it—drowning the melancholy,|
,
with liquor, is like giving an im
portunate beggar money to get\
rid of him—he may make a bow,
and leave you to day—tomorrow,
he will attack you with double
confidence.
A SHORT SERMON.
My Brethren,
T WILL give you a difeourfe,
A with divine assistance, from
this text of scripture, viz...-
“ Man is born to trouble as
the sparks fly upwards." The
text naturally divides itfelf in
to three parts, of which I fhatl
treat in their order, and then
make such improvements as
naturally arises on the fob-
To begin, ift. Man's in^
grefs into the world. 2d. His
progress through the world.
3d. His egress out of the
world.
Firstly, Man's ingress into
the world is naked and bare.
2. His progress through the
world is trouble and care.
3d. His egress out of the
world is nobody knows where.
Now my dear hearers, by
way of improvement. If you
live well here, you (hall fare
well there.
And I could tell you no
more, were I to preach a
whole year. amen.
the MORALIST.
6 Remember the Sabbath day and keep it holy?
COMMANDMENTS.
A STRICT obfervaoce of the Sab
bath is a duty incumbent on every
Christian, and every person who prac
tiles this duty finds an increase of h^p
pinefs. A day let apart by God himfelf
for holy and ufeful purposes, ought to be
religfeufly observed. Indeed, after the
labours of the week are ended, what can
be more grateful than a day of rest, and
what more rational than to dedicate that
day to the service of God ? Yet, how
(mail a proportion of mankind rightly
oblerve it ! All look forward with eager
nefs for its arrival ; but, how do they
spend it? Not in religious duties, but
visiting the taverns and reading irrelig
ious books ; and the bible is thrown a
side to make room for " the mad ravings
of Ethan Allen," or the flimfy jopbijms of
Tom Paine ! Verily these things are not
right. Parents, teach you, children a
better way. Instill into their minds a
love of religion and of religious duties,
by example as well as by precept. If you
are chriftians you must be sensible that
a constant attendance at church forms
one of the most ufeful, rational and pleas
ing duties of life; and I will venture to
assert, that the man who resorts thither,
wi.h his family, and joins his neighbors
in prayer to G^, is tar happier than he
who goes to the tavern, boofes over a
mug of flip, and, like regenerated France,
exultingly denies the existence of a Sa
viour I But as an attendance at church
employs but a part ofcthe Sabbath, the
remainder ought to be devoted to the
more retired, but equally necessary du
ties of ~" religious meditation and enqui
ry." And lam sensible, if mankind
would read the Bible instead of the " Age
of Reason," and go to church mor, and
to the tavern less, they would grow more
virtuous, consequently mere happy; and
they wEuld,mak^ better men—better ci.
tizens—and, what would be more to
their honor, they would deserve and re
ceive the glorious appellation of Chrifc
^■^■—■■■^^■■■■■■^^■■^■^^^■■'^^
BANQUET of COMUS.
uferarerxo
Sailing on la^d— A bumsraus difo/hr.
A BRITISH frilor, some time
ago haying occasion to take
□journey of ten or twelve mites
into the country, hired a horse for
that purpose ; and, having never
been on horfebsck before, he rfk
ed one of his messmates how he
Ihould condua himfelf. The lat
ter told him, all tht he had to do
was to take care that the horse did
not tun away with him. The
other began to confider how he
(hould avoid such a miferriage,
and at lift hit on a scheme for
that purpose. He took a fmail
anchor, belonging to one of their
boats, and having fixed 10 or 12
farhomi of rope to it, he tied one
end of the rope about the horfc's
neck, and tockfhe anchor up be
fore him, to be ready for calling
io case of any disaster. The borle
went very well for the fiift four
or five miles, till feeling himfelf
galled, by the rubbing of the an
chor on hit neck, he fat off, full
(peed ; and our Equefirian, find
ing himfelf in danger, determined
to bring up; He therefore let go
the anchor ; and the horse having
run out hit cable, brought up
with such a jerk, that he threw
hit rider five or fix yards before
him, dislocated hit (boulder, and
cured him effectually of any with
to make further improvements in
the art of failing on land.
THE London advertisement
makers are altogether outdone by
a provincial attorney, who adver
tifa an estate for sale, or to be ex
changed for another, Rating that
he is appointed Plenipotentiary co
treat in this bufioefs ; that he has
ample credentials, and is prepared
to ratify his powers : that he will
enter into preliminaries either up
on the principle of ftatui quo or
uti poffidetis ; that he is ready to
receive the projet of any person
desirous to make the purchase or
exchange, and to deliver hit contre
projet and fine quo non, ^nd in
deed at once to give hit ultima
tum I—assuring the Public, that
as soon as a definitive treaty (hall
be concluded, it will be ratified by
his constituent, and duly guaran
teed. Lend. Pap.
NO nation assume so many
chriftian names as the Spaniards.
A poor Don Quixote, who had
no other company or attendants,
but the wretched jade upon which
he war mounted, reached with dif
ficulty a (mail village in France,
called Quinot, where there was
but one little inn: As it was mid
night when he arrived, he applied
himfelf with great noise and dili
gence to the gate. The host waking at
last, looked out at the window, and call
g'swho's there ?" “.Here is" answer
ed the Spaniard, " Don Sancho Alphon.
so Damiro Juan Pedio Carlos Francisco
Domingo de Roxades de las Fuentes."—
The landlord, who knew he had but one
empty bed, told him briskly, " he had
not room for so much company," —and
so returned ta his nest. The poor Don
Quixote was confequentty obliged to jag
on to the next village, to feck anothtf
place to roolh ,
t ^6^