The Federal mirror — Concord, N.H., 1796-04-26 00:00:00, page 4

PdßNrfS^lrfN FIELD.
,'.; ————— . A . . __ : -
THE BUMPER OF WINE:'
A NEW SONG :
Calculated for the meridian of north entry,
Hollis Hall, in Harvard University ; but
will serve, without any fenfire error, for
our Colleges throughout the U. States.
¥E QrLrfQteOr, ^ friraifoip, fyfy.
Let Greek arid kt Latin no kwger array,
D^Fepicsof Homer and Vileit,rrfgn,
OurJong u infers ^ a bumper of wine.
The det, meta, byfa serve nl, t o faw
^ Hrw link theirfiudiou vetarns know • \
in ^ 40t if matter and fprit can join,
.Wefad then unite in a bumper ot wine.
For Pike and /or Euclid net one of at earn,
Farewell to their angles, lines, circles, & /qrarer,
Plain nature will teach us to farm a carve line,'
Or a circle of friend: round a bumper of wine.
Let Erfrid inv,igate,b,fical hwi,
Fer &g phenom non guejs at the canje ;
fi eitfor w, that thefruit ofthe vine,
When prefid, will produce at a bumper of wine.
Pbfeians mrt,faear to fecore us ix health,
The, care for no more, th in a gripe at our wealth ;
Emetics and opiates the, may enjoin.
But tltfe are contain'd in a bumper of wine.
1 Oar good- matur'd /out no contentionsfoill draw
Aronnd the drear m^zeof Übvrtmb law;
O^ q*srrek let lawyers andjudges rf^,,
But we'll grown all ours in a bumper,of wine.
M„ bards ne'er be wanting to furnifo a song
To rathe lift dance oaf, and fmmhl, along,
tt&rtntsdxo khg,TSnv.ktbtcu,nsM,
bo- Helicon'sy fours is a burner of wine.
Fl-re's a bumper to ours ^ plain Lufo'sfritted,
ri, beal'h ana coQntmrnt fqrn,r attend,
Aid let him be lawyer, phjito,dtvine,
'^'M^, bene'cr wonta friend nor a bumper of wine.
CHARLES CHATTERBOX, Esq.
• Famous for " b : gb fellows,,
~ % 1. . . tA „ % ± .QfyQttu^/otraramQamflHMßmnnß
THE HUMORIST?-
TWO Negroes having (pent an
1 evening at a tavern, where the
mug, went baW, rouid, on return
leg home, one oi them happened to
strike hit foot against the remains of
an old port that once flood in the
way, but was now aimed worn to the
ground, which brought him flat on
bit face in the mud, on tiling and
robbing himfelf, he f^d co his com
rade in a pe?,—" I wonder wb, de
Debbie de Sun cant sane dft dark
Wgbt, and not keep (boning all da,
lime, üben no need onbem," ^Q/
ft — — tt&fcttWß ~
A GENTLEMAN had a wife who
wa, very w&ppy in her temper— —
He bought her a horse, which forty
n^telv broke her reck. A friend of
hA who was troubled withihe fame
domestic evil, begged to purchase the.
horft—' Indeed," fai the q her,
"I am on the point of marimony
mflelf, &:d may want it again."
, A CELEBRATED Attorney in this Stale,
Cl<,f~rt his plea against A (it tm,ker inihe fol
lowing manner : " Whether he is a,eller of
rum, or a cooler, I know not—borl believe
him ^ farm ^r ; and hough he has w^d
warm in the muter arid his frflki are up,
as if his all wisat ft k- ; yet 1 imagine te
will of mike fb profitable an ea/of it at the
left; h^t fliat a little oftfy/ of fra, may be
of ftrvice to him."
iw^^ rw w»-w —t MmforcforeicCTßtccQmQß^^
- , ^v- ■'■,,.■ - at. « _____ _— ?—
M scellaaftWS^
'f ^7-^'■^ ~ - —Quatop ,—
^ ^ FARMER', CHRONICLE.
"iSHERiCH?"
TYOW often this qg : ftion is ifhed I-Jnft
HAs it riches make a woithy man :—
f^ "f" ^ "f%r"* r, j<ji f """
log on the ge of life, ff, of honor,
^ A W^n^ y '^# "1I."**?-
AnJ how often do we young men enter
ing the stage of life posted of hro e inter.
^ efts,which their pareMS have^feft th% : fet4
; ters, arid tthen they ^rrive^t the ^ of 50
years fee which has performed the &,ft w,t
they actions. A young man poffufa!pfin
duftry and frugality, may, at teaft, rate the
two pofftlfons at 60l per annum, income—
and if he has ingenuity and hontfiy, he spay
value them at as much more— While, the
wealthy tab, divifted ofthufe accomplith
m?nts. may calculate upon having his inter
% est waste at the rate of izol. per annum.
How often do we fee the wealthy man
fperding his property and venting his fyjte,
in order to redress a supposed infuh? While
a poor man patientlyfubmi's to real intuits ;'
I becaufe the infeher is wealthy.
A rich man is not the better mm for his
riches ; but a rich man is better able to do
good on account of bis riches ; and wealth
will help an evil doer in his wickedness.—
While the poor man's good or evil deeds a:e
small
Once acknowledge that riches cannot
mike men virtuous, and you m ke a poor
man equal to a rich one with refpeA tn real
worth, and equa ly as hono<abfe. Yet, if
ter all, it we were to judge from the concnfl
of people in general, we Should be ted to
think that riches w~re the mft eltytial
part. If a man, on account of his bufineG,
moves into a Grange place, the neighbours
(after asking bis name) are continudiy qm f
tioning one anol her a bout his Wealth — ^0) if
" be is rich" he is fore to m^er with frniles
and encouragement ; while be prior man is
left to helphimfelf. When a gerideinan pays
, his addretfes to a lady, and it begins to be
whispered abbot, how soon it is ; fed, " Is
be rich ,",—'' ewben ,ro*riY tretf-r the door,
lows flf t out at the window"—Tbis 1 deny, —
When fl th and intemperance enter ib< door, love
and the common comforts of life fie through every
outlet. —But where pure misfortune brings
poverty, industry and economy will have
love and cbeertuineG for attendants.
•-— -.irtW,flq,mt. t ~. —
IF I 0%4S HE.
AH! what ilyou wfr ? Why, 1
, would do so Ind so, No, fi, under
the lame circurnftancet, you would
do just ife him, or wprfe.
" kJ &,! a mibifttr," fiyi t well
meaning parilhiooer, " and had as lit
tle to do 41 q oft minister, have, I
wou'd fludy my feimoni better. 1
would not come into the pulpit witife
ct) r ift mon, n< hsve to m^e one
as I go aoog; tor wou'd 1 preach
one of 8 at
6 I' I w 4 a lawyer," fay# a far
mer, " I (hou'd not have the face to
&(k rhfte dollars for a lew words of
advice." But suppose, fir, you had
fpeot five hundred pound 9 i qua iiy,
ingyourfelf to give that acv<e ?
" 111 was Mr. luch-a-one, I would
not b. -pagued with lawsuits g# he is;
I am lure he might acrid it,
" Neighbor such-a-one has a large
farm —he own# a large ftotkol ch
fle—but he livei wretched, in hit
house. Hit wife is a dgozzle, his
fluori are an inch thick with dirt—
hit tables and chain are covered with
greale—// I was be, I w^uM pur
foty§ better order, er I'd knreibe
rea/on mb,."
b Alai, poor man, wait, till you have
a flat for a house keeper, and then
change tour tone.
" If I was a th dp keeper, [would
not meanly underfill my neighbors,
nor would I give credit, lam fare
1 should hot be guilty of the dirty
bufineh of deain g out jiils of rum to
every low lived teiiow."
"111 was such * one,"fays a young
man, '' I would not marry such a la
dy, for depend on it, ffie will be a
X n'ippe. If I was be, lam sure I
coud not tove her." „
" If I was a married man," fays an
old bachelor, " 1 would govern my
children, ocßl^now the rcafon why.
There is neighbor foch a one who
fuffers his children to do all manner
^ mifchief, and if a word of reproof
is uttered the little fellows laogt@,
;hu teeth?'— Bachelor's children are
&a well goveroed. ; :
What a pity, that since the world
^,,&0 who foe;
^& e 'd a°°" ^^ "^
q THE DREAMER.
"'battbinkpej^lfagair of^ —
<— ELL, said Dodorl the thought
;, original, and happily expreft.
A bachelor, a maiden, who never
rafted the sweet of matrimony, are
certain!, of no more value to focietv,
than half a pair of feiffori to its own
-I%^. Can nothing be done to remedy
this evil? Might not taxation pro
duce a happy tffed? This wat lately
hinted at by a very refptcUb!e mem
her of our legislature, who set down
:old bachelor, and dogs upon a'par •
where he paced the ladies I know
not ; indeed poHteneft forbids me to
ct:.quire. Hee J)hn, hand me down
that bu @e nt papers § it is mak?&
ufoful projeas. Let me lee—aye—
lh% i a capital fchemej the public
mu# have it fobmitted to their in
ipeeboo. 1
to the DREAMER.
M* Merph+us, , 1 !
I am not one of those fellows who
ev^ ftdown to%unt the roe of a
coefifh, or plagued myfelf, like Lew
enbottk, with calculations upon the
'fecundity of a louse, N>?no—my Au
dit, were never direded to fid out
fomerhing that amounts to nothing.
Any tool may ride full gallop after
the perpe ual motion, or break hi#
;ntrk in p&fuu of rhe Philosopher's
stone. Myotj^ solely tends to gen
ew oniirv ; whar thik vuo of a
LotrEßr ^ old m^ids ,--
that is a rare invention : the design
is fenfibe, and I hope to Band upon
record to future generations, for hav
ing attempted what no mao ever did
before. To detain you no longer
from a view of the Scheme, here
follow some brave hint*.\
Ift. That a Lorery be let on foot,
and opened at thi Dreamer's < ffi~e,
at hit e<o lar per Ticket, for FIVE
HUNDRED Old Maids, and as
mm, Old Bachelors ; chi, sum co be
accounted (heir full value, and worth
at ptefent, to Society and (hemfeivty.
zd. That the money be paid into
you' hands, and that you be at the
whole charge of drawing the lottery,
and of pubiffiing an accountof who
and who is iogether for life to come.
yd. Thst (he lottery (hall be draws
upon the 6ft of April, vulgarly call
ed all fool! day, there being no other
d,, in the calendar, which io aptly
charaaerizti this fpeciei of non oacu
taltQ^ft; \\
,h. Let 1000 tickets be frock
off, with blanks co be filled by your
own hand to prevent counterfeits ;
and at the top pt each ticket, impr< ff
ed from the copperplate, the figure of
a moufe-frap, with, this motto, a huf
baud tOTtyhadbfy.
yh Every maiden to be admitted,
foad be full 60, having one tooth, or
two ftumpi; and every bachelor two
teeth or four stumps, and to& 50 —
The one is to make affidavit, that he
never was §fcd ' the qurflion ; and
the other that he never put it, or was
arwayldeoied. Fatf&ie^h, penciled
eyebrows, er borrowed hair; preclude
all fh^re in this lottery. ' ^ ^^
6 h. The lottery (hall not be drawn
in wfeilfyt in two convenient bsgs,
and so it (hall be called lu/kin tbebafc
In one of which (hall be all the hdie?
tickets tierfop , ahd io the other, thofc,
of tfe'giropi^&Q
7 h. To avoid foipicion of fr^d,
an old m id Longing to a neighbor-,
te 0wt„& in theory
fh^ll drawthe^ out of the men,
b?gc; and vice verfi.
^ Bth. When the adv^tHurers take
I _Q.s<& te fol
, gtc. Ot.the day cl drawing, you
thill fopermrend all matters, and fee
that every thing is managed fairly ;
land upon the next week publish as.'
follows :—Ne, 431, a prize, Mils
Fiddefaddle Hateman, maiden-lady,
and Loungeabcut Donothing, bache-4
for, affixing their occupation, place of
abode,&:. f :
Your attention to this fetch, will
be the means of introducing other
prefects of great advantage to com
muoity.
—— —, ) —tc—CT—tt^^-fy
HARVARD COLLEGE LOTTERY
FOURTH CLAM.
THE Managers of Harvard College Lot
tpy, defocus of 4f aing the bufinels, for
which they were appointed, with as few calls
on the generuficy t $ the public, as poffibU;
inform ih^m, that from the extensive chan
nels, in which the files of the Tickets are
carrying pn, t ey cannot, on this day, ascer
tain the fate cf them, with that precision
iwhich is necessary previous to drawing so
large a Class: That it being equally the in
&eft of the College, and he with of the
, Managers, th t this ffioul! be the liftClafs,
they Co net to< sider ihemfelves jull.fi,d in
proceeding with it immedtatety, under such
citfumft&aces as might render it probable,
that the whole Grant of the Government
would not be railed by it.
They therefore, request the patience of
Adventurers, in assigning a future time for
the drawing of the prtfent Class ; and in or
der that there may be no chance for a further
call on their candor, by any other postpone.
client— The Managers assign Thursday, the
15th day of September next, for that ptir
pete; obfervihg however, that from the belt
information they can procure of the aQuat
sales of the Tiikets, a much earlier day will
hereafter be assigned : But they pledge them
selves to the public—that no circumflances
whatever, (hail create a further delay ; and
that they will pofitroel, commence drawing
on the day now fixed upon.
BENJ. AUSTIN, jun. 1 A
GEORGE R MINOT, /
SAMUEL COOPER, - ^Managers.
HENRYWARREN, 1 1
JOHN KNEELAND, J
Boston, April 7, 1796.'
Capt. Asa Fofler's Eflate.
ALL person, indebted tp or that have
any claims on the efta?e of Capt. Asa
Fuller, late of Pembroke, deceased,
are defied to bring in their accounts
to the fubfefiber for a speedy settle
ment.
FREDERICK FOSTER.
Pembroke, April rg. 1796.^
RUNAWAY BOY.
WHEREAS Samuel Patch was in
dented to John Bail, of Acworth, and "
his indenture relir qrifhed to the fob
fcriber ; and he run away from me,
;oh the , inftant—Thisis to forbid
all per foos harboring him on the pen- ~
ally of rhe law, or (rufling him on thel
Gid John Bailey's or my account.-—
Heu i, years of age—had on when
he weft away ^ London brown coar, }
a bottle green waistcoat, and brown'
overalls,—Whoever will return (aid
apprentice, Ihall have fix cents re ,
ward, and no ch#rge§ psid.
;fr V EBENEZERteAILEY. irl
Weare, April 6, 1796. #'
WANTED,
An apprentice to the LINEN
WHEEL MAKING BUSINESS-A good .
Heady fey, from i4<<o,is years old, may ,
have a good chance to learn said business, bj p ±
applying to the fubferiber in Pembroke.^
JOHN H. NIXON.
April ia, 1796. 11
.__ —— _ ——_ . ; —
EccLEsramcAL CONVENTION. ^
h l^^^ Conation of|
fad th a 7,h^ ±^^"te
had, that their next annual meeting will
noiaen Dimer, the count, Rocking-
I TIC&E1 $ in Dartmouth College Lonery,
1 for SALE at the,STORBof,
P. and O. CARIGAIN, t. CONCORD.^