The constitutionalist — Exeter, N.H., 1810-08-13 00:00:00, page 4

JYegociytion, oh 'liras affine negotiation.
likewise they were to say, that they were of
Opinion the bridge was free to one and all,
Being neither more nor less than a tree which
in his goodness God had suffered to fall ;
Arid to represent, that if Bujl and Frog and
their tenants hadn't a mind to buy their
notions,
Perhaps others might, and it wasn't altogeth
er friendly to intercept their motions.
Representation, oh 'twas a spirited rep
resentation.
' As to the bridge,' replied Bull, ' I'll prove
it mine at the hazard of my soul.
For look ye, I can knock you down if you
pass without paying me toll.'
' And' says Frog, for himself and tenants,
' 'tis no more as von revanche, pardie,
That if you lose some by Bull's ' order,' you
shall lose all by my ' decree.'^
Justification, a pretty mode this of
justification.
Now you must know it was the very fewer
of the family who had the honor to stand
before deputy Bull's face,
And every one said he was the pink of cour
tesy, he bent his body and mind with such
grace ;
Madam his lady too, stept Mrs. Bull's draw
ing-room like any dutchess in town,
And her go-to-meeting-dandy-grey-russet, had
given place to a sweet silver sprigg'd ge
ranium gown,
Alteration, oh 'twas a tasteful alteration.
Therefore when the pink of politeness saw
matters come to this pass,
'I infer my lord,' said he with abow, 'right'
said my lord, ' that you are an ass.'
'True my lord, but pray explain, must I in
fer,' ' good yankee doodle,'
Cried my lord, showing him the door, 'I in
fer that you are a noodle.'
Moderation, oh 'twas dignified moderatio^.
But John who stood before Frog with arm
strong and heart stout, fell into a bit of a
passion,
When he heard the great None, fellow talk
after the same silly fashion ;
So logically tripping up his heels, ' friend,'
said he ' there you lie,
My manners forbid me to call you swindler,
so Monsieur Frog good bye.'
Indignation, oh 'twas a noble indignation.
Now what the family did afterwards, heaven
above only knows, , , ,
They met in the great hall, no doubt, and
talked as much as ever 1 suppose;
And then were kick'd arid cuff'd, and robb'd
and bobb'd again, from July to June,
Beginning and ending like my song with the
tiresome old burden and tune of
Moderation, oh we're tick & tired of moderattorn
•
TH sing you a song with a good old burden
to't,tho' perhaps I shan'tjusthit the old tune
About an honest old farmer who dwelt——
somewhere this side the moon ;
He felt himself contented, and so never as
pired to be great,
And did Zekiel Homespun lived in peace on
his old estate.
Moderation, old Zekiel lived in moderation.
But ithappened thatjust over the creek from
his house lived a bully of a neighbour,
Who hated honest Zekiel, and envied him
the fair fruits of his labor ;'
His name was Bull and a great brute he was ;
s ° thinking the quaker wouldn't resist,
First fairly robb'd him, and then foully slapt
his cheek (the Irish way) with his fist.
Conciliation, this was Bull's mode of
conciliation.
But though Zekiel quaked, by the hand of
Penn's body, he never quaked with fear,
So one day, it was the 4th of 7th mo. of all
days o'the year,
The quaker laid down his coat and took up
his cudgel and beat Bull so sore,
Indeed he so 'prick'd me bull-calf,' that bull
calf began to roar.
Moderation, pritheefriend Zekiel use
some moderation.
Alack-a-day! old Zekiel he grew down hill,
his sons they grew up,
But no more of his blood ran in their veins,
than their runs water in the same cup;
For instead of taking the Bull by the horns,
they met in the hall and tired even the old
family clock,
With speeches six hours a-piece, and then
went to bed and slept as sound as a rock.
SpeechifiGalion, oh what affine anodyne
is speechification.
It us'd to happen, that when one of his boys
cross'd the bridge with a basket of eggs
on his arm,
Bull would seize him by the collar, and with
a hearty shake declare he'd protect him
from harm :
But I must keep your eggs in my pantry,
he'd say; or my good friend if you will
Just give me all your profit, and you may sell
the rest at the house on the hill.
Commutation, very reasonable commutation.
Now the man of the hill ruled over all the
country round, though some said he was
only a squatter,
Be that as it may, he had left Bull scarce
room enough, comfortably to get water;
So you may suppose whe? so great a man
heard of Bull's pranks, he fell into a great
pet,
'By gar,' said he, 'if monsieur Jack buy his
pudding so, so vill I buy my omlette.'
Retaliation, oh 'twas a measure of
retaliation.
So the very next time the lad brought eggs
to his house, he claps me to the door,
Puts basket and all into his pantry bowing all
the while quite down to the floor ;
' Won't you pay me monsheer ?' says Obadi
ah—' not a sous mon cher cousin,
I must have dem en gros, parceque, Jack
Bull has dem by de douzaine?
Explanation, very satisfactory explanation.
Now although Zekiel's sons held their honour
so cheap, they couldn't afford their eggs
at such prices,
And so they met day after day in the hall
and talked about the momentous crisis ;
At last they resolv'd that the great folks were
wrong, and they sent Will and John so to
tell 'em,
And that by yea and nay, as their liens laid
the eggs, they conceived they had aright
to sell 'em.
Poetry.
-^ooo^ —
From the Ticker.
MODERATION.
In a manuscript in one of the libra
ries at Paris, we are told that the
count de Ligniville and count de Au
tricourt, twins, descended from an
ancient family in Lorraine, resembled
each other so much, that when they
put on the same kind of dress, which
ithey did now and then for amusement,
their servants could not distinguish the
one from the other. Their voice, gait
and deportment were the same and
these marks of resemblance were so
perfect, that they often threw their
friends, and even their wives into the
greatest embarrassment. Being both
captains of light horse, the one would
put himself at the head of the other's
squadron, without the officers ever sus
pecting the change. Count de Au
tricourt having committed some crime,
the count de Ligniville never suffered
his brother to go without accompany
ing him, and the fear of seizing the in
nocent instead of the guilty, rendered
the orders to arrest the former of no
avail. One day count de Ligniville
sent for a barber, and after havingsuf
fered him to shave one. half of his
beard, he pretended to have occasion
to go into the next appartment,
and putting his night gown upon
his brother, who was concealed
there, and tucking the cloth which he
had about his neck under his chin,
made him sit down in the place which
fie had just quitted. The barber im
mediately resumed his operation, and
was proceeding to finish what he had
begun, as he supposed, but to his as
tonishment, he found, that anew beard
had sprung up. Not doubting that
the person under his hands was the
devil, he roared out with terror, and
sunk down in a swoon on the ,floor.
Whilst they were endeavouring to call
him to life, count de Autricourt retired
again into the-closet, and count de
Ligniville, who was half shaved, re
turned to his former place. This was
a new cause of surprise to the poor
barber, who now imagined that all he
had seen was a dream, and he could
not; be convinced of the truth until he
beheld the two brothers together.
The sympathy that subsisted between
" Nothing, save the dullness of their
weapons, the damaged condition of their
powder, and the singular accident of
one and all striking with the flat in
stead of the edge of their swords, could
have prevented a most horrible car
nage.—As it was, the sweat prodigious
ly streaming, ran in rivers on the field,
fortunately, without drowning a soul,
the combatants being, to a man, ex
pert swimmers, and furnished with
cork jackets for the occasion—but
many a valiant head was broken, many
a stubborn rib belaboured, and many
a broken winded hero drew short breath
that day !'-
" And now commenced the horrid
din, the desperate struggle, the mad
dening ferocity, the frantic desperation,
the confusion, and self abandonment
of war. Dutchman and Swede com
mingled, tugged, panted and blowed.
The heavens were darkened with a
tempest of missives. Carcases, fire
balls, smoke bails, stink balls, and
hand grenades, jostling each other, in
the air. Bang ! went the guns—
whack ! struck the broad swords—
thump ! went the cudgels—crash !
went the musket stocks—blows—
kicks—cuffs—scratches—black eyes
and bloody noses swelling the hor
rors of the scene ! Thick-thwack, cut
and hack, helter, skelter, higgledy
pigledy, hurley burly, head over heels,
klip-klap, slag op slag, hob over
bowl, rough and tumble !—-—Dunder
and blixum ! swore the Dutchmen.—
Splitter and splutter ! cried the Swedes
—Storm the works ! shouted Hard
koppig Piet—Fire the mine ! roared
stout Risingh—Tantara-ra-ra twang'd
the trumpet of Antony Van Corlear—
until all voic and sound became un
intelligible—grunts of pain, yells of
fury, and shouts of triumph comming
ling in one hideous clamour. The
earth shook as if struckwith a paralyt
ic stroke—The trees shrunk aghast,
and wilted at the sight—The rocks
burrowed in the ground, like rabbits ;
and even Chirstina Creek turned from
its course, and ran up a mountain in
breathless terror !
Diedrich Knickerbocker.
The Author of Knickerbocker's His.
WdUffi
tory of New York, may with pro
priety be styled the Cervantes of
America. The wit and humor, sci
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bounds, and which are remarkably
well supported through the whole
work, render it extremely interest
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by G. W. Irving, Esq. of the City
of N. York. The following dur
lesque descriptions of a most des
perate battle affords a specimen of
his mock heroic. [Washingtonian.
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these brothers was no less singular than
their resemblance. If one fell sick,
the other was indisposed also ; if one
received a wound, the other felt pain ;
and this was the case with every mis
fortune that befel them ; so that, on
this account they watched over each
other's conduct with the greatest care
and attention. But what is still more
astonishing, they both often had the
same dreams. The day that count d^
Autricourt was attacked in France'
by the fever of which he died, count
de Ligniville was attacked by the same
in Bavaria, and would have sunk under
it like his brother, adds the manuscript,
had he not made a vow to a lady of
Altenting.
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