The Federal mirror — Concord, N.H., 1796-09-06 00:00:00, page 1

_@J^OT^^L
MISCELLANY.
Ft ,J,FA*MBit's We ErLY MestvM.
FROM THE SHOP OF,'^ ? ‘
Mfr. COLON & SPONDEE.
MARIA ANTOINETTE,
HAS been ftigmatited abandoned
courtezan, b, the cwfyudes of the
north, as well as by the onuigeous 64i wo
men on the banks of the Seine & the Loire.
1 befieve that many a Republican railer of
her own sex, has'' felt the heat of a luxuri
ous bed" more frequently than this queen
from the Austrian house. But as fe was
the spirited comfort of a supine King, (he
preferred the glitter of an Amis buckle to
the tana rouge of Democracy. This was
the crime that stamped her a Meffalina.
Philosophy would affirm that her voluptu
ousness was the fault of the age, net of the
woman. If love as much as aristocracy, be
voted dangerous in France, what millions
of petticoats Hull we behold dangling from
the lanterne.
METHOD.
A Greek has affirmed, that eye, legiti
mate work must have a beginning, a mid
dle, and an end. Harris of Salilbury, a
bout the year 1/50, read Aristotle, and re
peated his dogmas. I should be forrygo fay
that Sterne's wit, and the romance of Ra
belais, were bastard flips of genius. They
are abrupt defaltory capricious writings ;
but if, like Horace's poem, they please on|
the tenth repetition, what care I bow sud
denly they end. Such amusing pages Should
have no Finis; I wish that there were
more such beginnings, and as for the mid
dle of Sterne, a witty woman hater would 1
swear that there was notfucha luxurious
middle, in all the female circles of the world.
PHYSIOGNOMY.
I never read ao paget of Lavater, even in
the abridged edition, but I have my whims,
when I look into a man's face. Shakespeare
talks somewhere, of " foreheads viUaineuf,
ferine I always feel fufeiciaus, even of
sparkling eyes, if a puny .fog be under
neath. The best physiognomy is where
Where is the best expression. The latent dia
mond may be found among meaner peb
bles ; the glitter of genius is often seen, a
mid the murkiest features.
COURTSHIP.
The farce of love ; and never so ridicu
lous, as when a Coquet is solicited by a Cox
, comb. It then resembles Dr. Young's fan
taftic chafe, " a Ihadow hunting a ihade."
CHURCH.
I always liked an eftablithed one, with
gorgeous and frequent ceremonial. .If
nothing harsher could be averred of the Ro
miffi mass house, than that it was adorned
with painting and sculpture, Chilling
worth's book would not have fold. The
great bodyof worshippers, throughout the u
niverse, cannot conceive of spirituals except
by the aid of sensible images. Few men are
profoundly sagacious, but all have ears and
eyes. Therefore, where “ deep toned or
gans blow," and painting looks from the
wall, expe& the mod deceit, attentive, and
even believing audience. _
The fo# of Bishop Watson is of finer tex
ture than the dull grg of Cal, and John
Knox. Suppose that Hume should fay of
Lutherans and Presbyterians, that both
were i^r^^ill there may be a decided
preference. The ^ Game ,# 6,
ter than the mummery of a Zany at bt. Bar,
tholomew's fair. _
BEaU.
, A being, who would puzzle L inn ,s to
afeertain the date to which he belonged.
Beaux have generally been arranged among
upon the monkies ; for the, are tolerably
agreeable and sprightly animals, buta beau
i£ftunid in conversation, as he is frivolous
in%efc He i^ M^ Fanny Williams',
nreferver of beauty, '' acurious compound.,
• literally made up of marechal/powder,
Shoemaker, the perfumer.and the laundfefy
~ foil fit %¥l, before a beau Can
- —_—___—-_—— —
[volume IV.]
— , Y RUSSELL BSD DAVIS, CONCORD; NE^HAMPSH/RE _ ^
L : — —.—^— ——. '==-— =—- "= ^r^i..^
CONCO R D, TUESDAY, September 6, 1796.
sometimes a sweet, and femetimes a pretty
fellow. He is called the " dandy," by one
party, and the "tippy," by another. His
reading, is confined to the forface of htera
ture ; to the Jocky Club, and to the Boston
Chronicle. His knowledge extends to the
barber's flityh and he has t ravelled round —
a wa&ball ! His " small clothes," as they're
ingeniously styled by the fair, are so immod
erattlv long, that they would be called
trowfers any where, but in the polite world.
His veil is a circingle, and his coat a jacket.
His hair is tied at the bottom with two yards
of Mrs. Milliquet's paduofoy, and a splinter
of ugly a °d knarly wood, yof the value of
ninepence," is brandished in his hand.
HE WAS.,
I don't care a cent what he w^, 1 with to
know what he ir. People like the Ameri
cans, who effe& to despise ancestry, ought
not to use the past tense, concerning charac
ter. What lignifies it, if Miss —was
married to common fenfe^ ten years ago, I
know that now, the poor girl is a widow.
AUTHORS,
I think should take their hrft Reps to
wards Parnassus warily, and prudently tempt
the public favor. Even if confeious of supe
rior powers, let them exhibit them firft in
folitude. Men of letters, publilh at a coun
try press. If dull, your dullness will be
known only among the final! circles of the
village, and if your effufions defave, they
soon will attach city favor. Vanity will be
soothed if ye emerge to notice, an , J e
languid in obscurity, mortification will soon
abate, because few witness your disaster,>
REASON.
A very sober faculty. But the French
have infilled since the revolution, that Rea
son should retire from the Champ de Mars,
or if the serious power must appear, that it
must be in the form of an opera girl. The
Goddess of Rcafon however demure the
might seem to the mob by day, undoubted
ly nept' in the feme bed with Talhen at
night ! How unlucky that French reason was
a prostitute. A courtezan, assuming the
/ garb of virtue, & worshiped by the Parifiana,.
was certainly that new thing under the Sun,
which Solomon supposed never could be.
Burke's Philippic was not so severe a satire
against the revolution in France, asthat
which the Goddess of Reason uttered to sur
rounding pikemen.
NEW ORDER OFTHINGS. R c
This often means the utter deftrudion .of.
old government, old order, old laws, old re
ligion, and old virtue. That this kind or
novelty might exist in France, a King and
Queen were murdered, a Dauphin starved,
the clergy pillaged, and the nobility degrad
ed A new order of things is where the lit
tle finger of a fool is thicker than the loins
of a philosopher. A nety order of things is
where the " rascal many" bellow in the Sen
ate House, and where the << ingenioua to”
are under the guillotine. Satan, Cataline
and Roberfpierre, were all zealous friends to
this kind of innovation.
THE FINE ARTS.
In a Republic, the fine arts, particularly
painting and sculpture, are little known, and
less encouraged, Tri the Louvre, and the
palaces of Leo X. the beauties of a pidureof
Ruben's and the Apollo Belvidere will en
chain the attention of a connoisseur for
hours, but we young Americans, in a new
country, scarcely know the Italian matters
by their names. In theory perhaps, of
some of the most fashionable charaders an
dur capitals, you may recognize, beneath a
cover of dust, an indifferent engraving, a
cop, of Hogarth. But in general, such is the
vandalism of the time, a smirched, daub in
the Dutebmanner, or the coloured prints of
John Overton deform our wainscots. Ra
rphael and Michael Angelo, if theytfofe from
the dead, and worked at the pallerfn Boston
fold soon either die in the alms sfo
starve to death in obfeofe lodgings, of be
rode over bya hackney coachman. ,
ty Englishman once fold me, and I believed
the witty Englishman, that rf,e ftoute of
Venusd^ Medicis were advertised to, be po^
fitively fold, , blov thigh blow low, at the
From the Farmer's Weekly Museum.
" But v>bat wst,< •*< ^ fa? Arad jbaken
b, the waaf"
IDLE Curioficy, what fooh are th,
* worshipperl; how far the, wan
der, gad what path^fi tracks the,
tread, to get a peep at some bauble,
exhibited, perhaps, b, a mounte
bank!'
Then what, m, de?r towofmen at
Bofton,do you go to fee at thb circus,
or the stage of Signior Falconi? A
horse, Glided by a clown? A tobac
co pipe and soup bubble ?
What thou fly Speculator, didst
thou goto behold in Georgia ? Ara
ble land, mill feats, and valuable tim
ber ; or was it to enjoy from some
Pifgab of the country, a profpeaive
view of the Sralb Sea, o it boiled &
bubbled, when crossed in the year
1720, by that bold navigator, Sir
John Blunt?
Many are the reeda shaken by the
wind; and much gaping people
crowd around to fee a horse race, a
calf with three lega, a fourth of July
proceffioo, and a methodic preach
er. - : J
But what flame of genius is fuddea
1, kindled in yonder barn, on out
mountains? Ah it is the newiight, &:
how the multitude hover round co
catch a glimpse of glory I And did
ye, O foolifh Galatiooi, forfake the
fettled parfoo, and prefer themeteor
glare, to the fun of righteoufrufi ?
One midsummer, I devoted to a
visit at Boston, in order to read new
books, and codverfe with classical
friendi. On the night of the third
of july, I far tote disputing with a
learned divine, concerning apaffage
in Tertullian. lam prone to morn
ing drowsiness, and when 1 retired, I
requested my landlady not to call me
till late. But, next morning, from
the explosion of cannon, and the
harsh jangling of balls, I thought the
town was bombarded, and its sextons
tolling out a general bill ofmortality.
I rose, in some trepidation, and in
quired, whether the French had ac
tually commenced heftilities against
America ? No, fays a laughing by
stander, the ooifes ,00 hear, are aoth
ing but the sweet accents of Liberty.
This is her glorious day ; and the
multitude are all gone to fee how she
rattles along in her cart. Come Mr,
Lay Preacher, & fee the lhew. Look
at out " viceroy" & the mob behind
him, “ viceroys Over him," & there
are the Jacobins, and there are the
gentle inmates of Oliver's Dock, and
there's a pretty little scholar from
Cambridge, who is to (peak the No
ration, and tell the President, how to
rule wifely, according to the perfect
la, of democracy, and how Jay must
behave when he goes to a court, and
how Hamilton must cast up the coh
umn sos the revenue. Come, come,
this is a light you cannot fee in New
hampfhire.—l looked wiftfully at my
adviser, went not to the window, but
to my couch, and slept very soundly,
dreaming of Tertullian.
i @ But why, ye mukit^, do ye go
out, either into the } wiktooefs, or
streets, to gaze at reeds and lioui?
Better is it for thee, O poor man, to
^ M home, educing gad mam-
gaining thy children, than to impov-.
erifh a purse already too scanty, by
paying a jogg ! e<'i kes.—B^f^r is if
for thee, O fori & riches, to fuccour
genius, to relieve the miferab'e, and
Shelter the naked, than to enjoy the
glorious priiikze of beholding a Bal
loon indite. Gratification of this i
dte curiosity, will, like the volatile
machine's foU'ce, vanish into " air,
into thin ait ," and leave cot a rem
nant of complacency behind.
'LAY PREACHER.
o fyfy^fyQ w| fo : sysy CT te m qrtgpQtßfctteZfo'VwmfcCT^fflrf=mt*^mu I W-A'WW o°'"""''™ 0 °'"""''™
LAW?of the UNION.
Feurtb CONGRESS- FIRST SESSION
AT PHILADELPHIA.
An ACT for toe relief and pra
te^ion of American Seamen.
R E " ^afled b, the Senate
D and House of Reprefenta
foes of the United States of America,
in Congress assembled, That the Prefi
deot of the United States, by and
with the advice and content of the
Senate, be, and hereby it authorifed
to appoint two or mere Agents—the
one of whom (hall rtfide in the king
dom of Greatbritaits and the others
at such foreign ports, as the Prefideot
of the United .States shall direct.
That the duty of the laid Agents
fhall.be, under rhe dire&ioo of the>
President of the United States, to in/
quire into the fi.nation of such A
merican citizens or others, failing con
formably to the law of nations, un
der the protection of tie American
flag, as have been, or may hereafter
be impressed or detained by any for
eign power ; to endeavor, by all la
-0 means, co obtain the rekafe of
such American citizens or others, as a
forefaid ; and to render an account
of all impreffments and detentions
whatever, from American veflfels, to
the executive of the United States.
Sec. 2. Aad bait farther enaHed,
That if it ffiould be expedient to em
ploy an additional Agent or Agents,
for the purposes authorised by this
law, during the recefsof the Senate,
the PrefiJeat alone be, and hereby is
author fed to appoint such Agent or
Agents.
ISec. , And be it father enaßed,
That the President of the United
States be, and he ja hereby authorifed
to draw, annually, cut of the Treas
ury of the United States, a fam not
exceeding fifteen thousand dollars,
not otherwise appropriated, to be ap
plied by him, in such proportions as
he shall direa, to the payment of the
compensation of the laid Agent or
Agents, for his or their service, and
l&incidenul expenses attending the
performance of the duties on them
by this aft.
; Sec. 4. Andbe it farther m#& &
That the colledor of every diftrift
shall keep a book or books, in which,
at the request of any seaman, befog
a citizen of the United States of A
raerica, and producing prootof hie,
1ci<izenthip, authenticated in the mam^
net hereinafter directed, he Ihall em
ter the name of such feiffi&fhfl,
deliver to him * certificate, in da
following form, pat it ro for = “,
, A, % coll<a% ^^e^iftria Os I^^.
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