The New-Jersey gazette — Burlington [N.J.], 1784-04-26 00:00:00, page 1

On the LIBERTY of the PRESS;
Ibid a certain nonsensical Advertisement against
Scipio.
P A R T IV.
STRANGE as it may seem, gentle reader,
yet true it is, that it will cost one more trou
ble, and actually requires greater flall, to ma
nage either a verbal disputation, or a course
of polemical writings with a blockhead, than
with a man of ten times one's own sense and under-
Handing. This phenomenon may perhaps be account
ed for in the following manner : A man of real sense,
who is never conceited, is an honest impartial inquirer
after truth, and is consequently open to conviction,
whenever he meets with arguments fufficient to con
vince him. A Dunce, on the contrary, being always
conceited, will never be convinced by any arguments
you can offer, because it is the very nature of his mental
malady, to think his own superior to those of all
others. This is not all. A blockhead, when he re
duces his crudities to writing, whether by way of ad
vertisement or oration,no matter which, will general
ly blend with them (as a lunatic has his lucid intervals)
dome thoughts, that separately considered, are really
rational; and when interwoven with his mass of non
sense, impart in appearance a kind of rationality to the
whole. Now the tafle of untwisting such a motly
texture, and of unravelling such transversal zigzag in
extricable web, I would rather resign to Queen Pene
lope (alking her Majesty's pardon) than advise any
nearer neighbour of mine to undertake it. For this
nonlenfe io coloured, and borrowing the glimmerings
of the little reason that is interspersed thro' its neigh
bourhood, requires, at least in the opinion of other
blockheads, as formal an answer as the rational part
itfelf. Just as the vulgar think that the moon really
fixities as well as the fun, tho' astronomers know that
this planet only reflects to us the light she borrows
fiom that glorious luminary. Still this fame nonsense
so coloured, from its irregularity and excentricity, its
juxta-pofition to, its conjunction with, its seeming par
ticipation of, and its actual diversity from, reason, is in
finitely more difficult to confute, than the moR regu
lar and connected composition. I make no applicati
on; but who would not rather reason with Sir Isaac
Newton, than with orator Henley?
Would my antagonist but coolly place himfelf in
the situation of a disinterested man ; and had he in re
ality as great a desire to lessen our taxes as he pre
tends to have, he would reason in a very different
manner from what at present he doth, if peradventure,
from his dread of coming to a regular account, he
hath not loft the faculty of reasoning at all. But this
fame unlucky felf-intereft will so warp the mind and
cloud the understanding even of the least depraved
sons of Adam, that you will not unfrequently find the
most patriotically-haranguing orators calmly appropri
ating to their own use the undoubted property of their
country; and still appearing in publick; and still ora
torical upon publick mismanagement, and the pecula
tion of others who never committed any peculation,
with as little confufion, and as little fuffulion, as a
whore at a christening—l fay, that he would doubt
less confider the matter in a different point of light. I
will prove it; and here is the prooff. In the case of
Stephen Skinner, who produced as positive affidavits,
with less than half the bluster that is made by a bro
ther treasurer, of the robbery of our fifeal coffer, when
in his custody, as this man could possibly colled, were
you to allow him the term of a London apprenticeship
for the purpose, about the accident that is pretended
to have befallen him, in a place where they fay he
ought never to have carried it; and where some peo
ple think it was purposely carried by way of will with
a wife, or jack with a /anthorn, to attract the Bri
tifo bogg-trotters after it—ln the case of Skinner I
fay, the Legislature, notwithstanding all his parade of
innocence (and perhaps he was as innocent as some
other folks) wifely ordered a prosecution against him,
in order to give their constituents fair, legal, and im
partial justice. Unfortunately indeed, by the opposi
tion of those who perhaps had one reason for averting
it, which they never thought proper to assign, it was
NEW-JERSEY GAZETTE.
[Vol. VIL]
TRENTON: Printed by ISAAC COLLIN S, Printer to the State.
MONDAY, April 26, 1784.
ordered too late. The money was irrecoverable. I
hope it will not come too late in the present case. In
the disaster of Skinner (would you believe it, courte
ous reader?) this very man was one of the most zea
lous advocates for the province to bring him to a le
gal trial ; and he was right. His judgment being then
uninfluenced by the bias of felf-intereft, his head clear,
because his pocket was unconcerned, and his under
danding lufficiently illuminated to difeern the rights
of his country, because he had not then received any
lessons from General Howe to cast a mitt over it; he
difearded all the confident aflertions of that treasurer
with all his exparte affidavits; and he might really
difeard them if he pleased, and such I doubt not was
his pleasure, with negleft and feorn. He was right.
He continued strenuous and pe:fevering for a prose
cution at law, as the only constitutional mode for de
ciding the matter. He was still right. But now, when
a certain treasury-chest committed to his own hands
has, with refped to the publick, been turned into a
non-entity, the case, it seems, is entirely altered
When we insist upon his being called upon in like
manner, he is for turning the whole world topfy tur
vy, and threatens to tie every writer upon this topick
to one of Mons. Montgolfier's areaftatic balloons, and
after having half fuffocated him in his serial voyage
foi want of air, still farther to prolong his torture, by
making him alight in puris naturalibus, either upon
a burning /Etna or a frozen Caucasus: And all this,
rather than submit to a trial by his peers. Instead of
such tranquil fumbiffion, which, is the duty of all our
citizens, and ought to be the particular wiffi of every
innocent one, it is now, ring the bells! R'ing the bells!
Ring the bells backward! Death and confufion !
Raw head and bloody bones ! Marrow-bones and
cleavers ! The licentiousness of the Press ! Illibera
lity towards the Assembly ! Your vouchers Sir, your
vouchers, and then I will differ and turn you into a
mummy or a fleeleton ! All this may be sonorous;
and, as his manner is, make a desperate noise. But
in all this, there is no money. It is not worth a far
thing towards the payment of our taxes. Either let
him be honourably acquitted by legal trial, and I shall
rejoice at his innocence; or be fairly convi&ed, and
then down with the cash. Jerfeymen will not be paid
with advertisements.
but he cannot, it seems, go to his grave in peace,
without knowing my name. I hope he is not serious
ly bent upon a total subversion of our political system.
I hope he does not still ponder upon the conciliatory
opening, the final poflern of mercy to returning sinners,
provided for in the last clause of the constitution, of
which he boasted to the British army, that he was the
grand protoplaft and fabricator. Indeed it looks more
like the father than any bastard I ever saw in my life ;
and, to the honour of its generator, will be—an eter
nal disgrace to the state. But I really fear, from his
anti-liberty principles, which he cannot conceal with
all his art, that he still has some hankering after the
onions of Egypt ; and still ruminates upon that recon
ciliation with Great Britain, which the reader may
find he lias so thriftily provided for ad infinitum, in
this fame memorable and ultimate stipulation. For
as his errors always begin at the beginning of his
woi ks, they generally (and this they tell us is accor
ding to the rules of oratory) shine with greater luftre
at the conclulion. '' He can't go to his grave in
peace, without knowing my name." My name, Sir?
And pray may not a man, in a free country, convey
thro' the press his sentiments on publick grievances,
and drew to what his fellow-citizens are entitled by
law, without being obliged to lend a certified copy
of the baptismal register to prove his name to every
Giant of Gath, who takes it into his head to disturb
the publick tranquility with his vociferations ; and
thieatens to hew down every printing press in the
1 hirteen United States of America with a cooper's
adz ? In the name of the seven wonders of the world
(not to augment them by the addition of this tran
scendently marvellous man to eight) into what will
not our liberties be finally coopered, if we fuller these
English conciliators, these hewers, and hackers, and
splitters, and manglers of American liberty, to have
their own way? My name, Sir? Supposing that my
god-fathers and god-mothers had thought proper either
THE
LONDO N, January 20.
A letter from Copenhagen fays, that the weather
is more severe than ever was remembered before
which has partly ftop't the work in the dock-yards',
and every thing is frozen up, so that provisions of all'
kinds are very dear; the ffiips here and at Elfineur
are frozen up in the harbour, and trade is almost at 2
land.
We hear that it is the intention of Ministers to pro
cure an address from the House of Lords on this day,
to thank his Majesty for having dismissed his late Mi
nisters. This will give an excuse for the dissolution
of Parliament, and it will be alleged that the division
between de two Houses requires that there should be
a new Parliament.
Jan. 22. It is unquestionably certain, that the firft
intelligence of the peace, concluded between England
and France, was sent out to Madras on the 26th of
January last, by Mr. Wraxall, Member of Parliament
for Hindon. The private letter from that gentleman
contained the Royal Gazette of the 24th of January,
in which were the Preliminaries of Peace. This ac
count arrived at Madras on the 24th of June, several
weeks before the English Admirals or the Govern
ment of Fort St. George received any intelligence of
the Preliminaries being signed. Mr. Wraxalls letter
came at a critical juncture, just in time to prevent the
French commander from attacking our forces before
Cuddalore, where, from the vast superiority of Buf
fy, we had every thing to dread.
Lord Macartney and Sir Edward Hughes, instant
ly lent off to the French commanders by sea and land,
to acquaint them with this news, 00 receipt of which
they agreed immediately to a ceflation of farther hos
tilities. The service rendered to this countiy by Mr.
Wraxall's letter and account of the peace, is there
fore almost inestimable.
The following passages are taken from an authen
tick letter from an officer in our service at Madras,
which arrived by the laftpacquet from India: "Tippo
Saib is far from the character he had been reprefen'ted
to us ; instead of being a friend to peace, he has
prosed himfelf a restless, treacherous, inhuman tyrant.
He is entirely influenced by French politicks, and has
four battalions of Dutch, Portuguese, and French in
his service: The latter amount to near 900 men, and
since our treaty with France for a ceffarion of hostili
ties, are said to have deserted to the Maratta chief:
His army is well appointed, and more formidable
than that of his father Hyder Ally. General Stuart
COPENHAGEN, January 1.
, I THE accounts we have from Iceland are very
■ melancholy; the fulphurous matter thrown
up by the volcanoes and scattered over the
fields, have dried and burnt up the grass,
so that the cattle are without pasture; large flocks
have perilled for want of fodder, and the unfortunate
owners are reduced to the greatest distress. His Ma
jesty, touched with companion for their losses, has
given leave to make a collection throughout all his
dominions, the produce of which is to be applied to
their relief.
The Sound is actually frozen over, so that the pas
sage is entirely flopped.
to give me the more fizeable name of Roderic Random,
or the more voluminous one of PhilanthropoffioJboioJ
tholojos, what possible connexion could there be be
tween either of these names, or any other particular
disposition or combination of the vowels and conso
nants of the alphabet, and the undoubted responsibi
lity of a treasurer, who means to pay us by faying
the money is loft? Why about as much as there is
between an egg and an elephant, or between my paying
a sum of money that has been committed to my care
by laying down the cash, and my making the payment
by faying that the Sylphs and Sylphites,the Elves and
Fairies, have flown away with it thro' the chimney,
and that this is to pass for good payment without any
farther enquiry.
S C I P I O.
Foreign Intelligence.
[Numb. 311.]