The Mirror — Concord, N.H., 1798-12-24 00:00:00, page 4

But bark, th' invading foe alarms !
Responsive cannons rattle ;
And Washington again in arms,
Directs the storm of battle.
The locust (warm of gallic "Sends,
He sweeps to mid-way ocean ;
While fame the valued ether rends,
With conquest's loud commotion.'
Sbovt ! Sheet ! Columbian:, HtavWs deem,
% WASHINGTON & VICTORY!
REXVINI.
AS great as a monarch
The moments! pafi,
The bottle's my globe.
And my fceptre's the glafi—
The table's my throne,
And the tavern's my court,
The waiter's my fubje&,
And drinking's my (port;
EPITAPH
QaaTmlfact in a county Cburcb-Y°ard in
the utfof England.
Here !y$ vather, and moother, and<
zifter and I,
Who all dy'd in the space of one zhort
year,
They was ale buried at Wimple, except I,
And I lies here.-—
—— —=——. _
SEVERAL Mornings this
h year the Sun will rife be
fore certain people difeover
it, and set before they have
done their day's work.
In the course of this Spring
K aid Summer, many altera-^
^ tionsMill be made in the form
BLEST on his own P^ernil Farm,
Contented yet acquiring ;
Below ambition s gilded charm,
Yet rich beyond defiling:
The bill born rustic, hale zod gay,
Ere prattling swallows fitly, #
/Or ere the Pine top foies the day,
Sings cheeriy through his valley.
Chorus,
Creen Montai*, echo Hero'ft'/ decree !
trot Adams, law and liberty.
Should hoftlle fleets our fhoret assail.
By home-bred traitors aided,
No tree born hand would till the vale.
By slavery degraded.
Each mouth would join the patriot brave,
To die proud Freedom's martyr,
And Shed its latest drop to save
/ His country's glorious charter.
/ Grcco Motrttains' febi then wraldbt,
Figbt ra, fight on, for liberty<
With lore and plenty, peace and health,
Enrich'd by honest labor,
He cheers rhe friend of humbler wealth.
Nor courts bis prouder neighbour ;
At eve returning home, be meets
His nut-brown left, so loving.
And still his cotft nt strain repeat?.
Thro' groves and meadows roving :
Grew Mraratsecbo Huro'*% deerfl !
Lime Adams, too and liberty.
Should Faaion's wily serpent spring,
Wih treach'rcus folds t'intwine him,
Undaunted by his venom'd ftinq.
To flumes he would consign him.
Th^ hard, Yeoman like the Oak,
That Imades his woodland border,
Would baffle Anarch's vengeful stroke,
To Shelter Law and Order.
& Grm-MfflM&u 6cb@ Hram'n'c Acctu !
Lime Adams, low and liberty !
The Green Mountain Farmer.
4 A NEW PATRIOTIC SONG.
2j Thomas Paine, A. M. of 2 fox.
A^^^^^^fr
SENTIMENTAL MEDLEY.
" TO RAISE THE GENIUS, AND TO MEND THE HEART."
THE Rivulet.
The French people will
try during the whole year to
think that they are under a
free government, and the rest
of the world will know that
they are under arbitrary gov
ernment.
On the qth of July next,
many sober people will be
druhk before they are aware
of it.
The public debt will not be
paid this year.
, The fame will happen with
many private debts.
There will be many Eclips
es of male and female virtue
this year, some visible and
some invisible?
Many delicate Ladies
whom one would not fufpe&
will be kissed ; and though
for my own part I fee no
harm in it, yet I forbear to
publish their names.
Many people will drink
more strong liquor than would
be fufficient to keep them so
ber, and take more Physic
than would be fufficient to
keep them in health.
In the Summer months the
filth and putrefaaion of all
kinds cclleded in docks al
leys, cellars &c-will be re
moved, the air will be Sweet
and in the fall the town will
be healthy excepting in a few
instances of the common au
tumnal fever.
Hofpitaiity and generosity
will abound ; dinners and en
tertainments will be given to
thofc who have enough at
home, and the poor will re
ceive gratis much good advice,
medical and legal excepted.
Many young Ladies will
be married who are not yet
courted, and m#ny who are
courted must wait another
year.
ARCHIMAGO.
—==—■■— tm_rc=xra^
From the Vergennes Gazette.
fc, C trtCTwratQj
My old Granny's Twelve Gol
den Rules.
ttfe&^ out to
VV fightmy way through
this gambling, tricking, un
comfortable World, my good
old Grandame caUed me one 0
day, and putting her horn
,tad die fpe&acles, actofs her
nose, took from her stomacher
a bit of paper, in which was
written, in a cramp hand, the
following rules shfc^^ll^
" Zackary, fin'd,,the old
woman, Broking my head,
and trimmings of the Ladies
Head Dreffcs; but lam not
able to give an opinion at pre
sent whether their appearan
ces will be improved by their
alterations.
“ mind these rules, and if they
do not make you an bonefl
ma% they may help you,
Zack, to find out a knave."
With these rules, I have seen
mankind clearer than the old
lady ever did, with her horn
fpe&acles. They are not a^
plicable, in any manner, to the
prevent day; but they have
been ofufe to me 52 years
coming next grass ; and we,
old folks, love to tell how wife
We were in our day.
ZACHARIAH OLDHORN.
When you fee a man with
his mouth full of piety, de
pend upon it, Zack, he has
none in his heart.
11.
When you hear a man, in
office, every day asserting tlrt
he has " the oath of God up
on him," depend upon it,
Zackary, that man is conscious
that his own bare word ought
not to be believed, and there
fore thinks he is obliged of
ten to remind his hearers that
he is under oath.
111.
When you heara man fay
" my God knows this" and " m,
God knows that," find out who
this man's God is, and then
you will know what kind of
secrets are probably kept be
tween them : Perhaps, Zack
ary, that man's God is of this
world.
IV.
When you hear a man talk
about his love to the people,
the great regard be has for
the people's money, and the
rights of the people ; do not
fee him down as a patriot ; be
assured, son Zackary, he is on
ly coaxing.
When you hear a man one
day talk of the sovereignty of
the constitution, and another
day of the omnipotence of
the house of reprePentadves,
be assured that he has little
regard for either : Do not
judge of the weather by such
a weathercock.
VI.
When you hear a man
talking eternally of the right
of man, depend upon it he
means his own interest.
When a man rails against
government, be assured he
wants an office under it, with
a good Salary.
VIII.
When a man speaks or
writes fedrtion to an uninforml
ed people, look out, son
Zackary, soon to fee this man
in high office, or in a goal.
IX.
When a man pulls down
his own country's flag, and
Rulf I.
A gentleman Irom Berkshire informs,
that a wedding was lately proposed to be
consummated there, between a refpeda
ble widower, opwards of 70 ^ars of age,
and a maiden lady of 36. The day was
appointed, the weddingers prepared, the
priest notified, and Cupid was winking
to Hymen to kindle his torch and light
the wanting lovers to new joys ;—when
alas ! an untoward occurrence blasted the
blossoms of desire, and extinguished the
torch of Hymen. The aged Twain, con.
templating the probability of the nymph
surviving him, prefehted a paper for her
signature, limiting her dower in case of
that melancholy event :— The nymph
wishing her provision for heirs, &c. to be
squally unbounded as her love, refuted
compliance : By the wars, then, Mad
am, fays the prudent lover, you must
take your things out of my saddle bags ;
on faying which he departed—
To tell the priest his mournful tale,?
Os hateful disappointment, d
How old and young were apt to fail.
And feel a fad disjointment.
The maiden too io doleful dumps
Views forty rear approaching,
And feels, while jeer'd by fnig'ring
bumps,*
Age on her bloom encroaching.
'' 'l^ ' ;' :: tOmWOTI
)]^&tfmfyjH^^
set, up a French one in its
stead, depend upon it he
means to pull down 1 rival
candidate, and set cp himfelf
for Rep.
X
When a man raises a liber
ty pole, be assured he mcan¥
to raise himfelf as high if*
power.
Xi.
Whena man, diredly of
indirbaly, raises a mob, you
may be assured he is a fit man
to be at the bead of it.
When a tnan is guilty of
pilfering, horse Stealing, forg
ery, sacrilege and murder,
though he Should never pock
et a single vote, set him down,
son Zackary, for a good dem
ocrat.
From your loving Grand
mother,
MEHITABLE OLDHORN.
To my dearly beloved
Grandlon, young
ZACHARIAH OLDHORN, Esq.
From a late London paper.
A carious Trait of Appetite.
TAST week a wager was
' entered into at a Wake
in Lancashire, on the part of
a bull dog and another crea
ture, in a human Shape, when
a basket of two penny pies
being produced, the engage
ment commenced. The vo
raciousness of the bull dog,
when he had got the twelfth
pie to his mouth, produced
symptoms of fuffocation, so
that he was out-maneuvered
by the wary Skill of hi; broth
er brute, by a flow, but sure
mastication, till he had ren
dered 33 pies invisible, and
absolutely completed his tri
umph over the animal, by
eating the last pie which the
bull dog dropped from his
chops.
From a late V^rmut Paper.