The Federal mirror — Concord, N.H., 1795-09-25 00:00:00, page 4

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THE PARNASSIAN, FIELD.
T^TRLffl:
A STORY.
GReatbritain, that most ' impious hag,
Wbofe virtues^/, cheat and brag—
Not long ago, as some folks fay.
Strove <witb Columbia 'gain to ,la,
The fool !— and to this end,.
With art her cunning efforts blend.
But others who, no doubt, are wife,
Sa, facb afertious are but lies.
However, as disputed-case be,
Britain held forth a certain TREATY—
And which, jome politicians Jay,
Chang'd light to darknejs—darknefs, da, !
That is, when brought before their forum,
'Twas damn'd, or elfe'twas fumum bonum !
These politicians; some of whom,
In depth of Jkull for brains ba'nt room ;
And who with Treaty are elate.
So earraft for Columbia's fate,
That they, poor fouls ! cannot help thinking.
Tbit Treaty gives, or takes 'way drinking 1
That they, the Guardians of she State,
Can't eat while Treaty's out for fate !
One of theft great high-minded fals,
(To term them fofter, minions, tools)
Whofound his profpefts looking fad,
Thought, wrote, and to revenge run mad ;
And when from chains be broke away,
Rang'd all the village for a J'a y !
Now on the trees, tbeir ver, t 0,,)
You fee the Bird and Mad-man ho,,>
The former fly— the latter drop ! )
And down he tumbles on jome Rones,
Saves head and brains, but breaks some bones :
All raving mad be gave a,ell,
And thus bemoan'd bis jad befell
" Fool, that I was, to venture there —1
'' I thought to fly or swim on air,>
'' And thus, with safe, the JAY enjnare. j
" But now, too late Isa m, error,
" And look me back with frame and terror.
'" Too late I've found that different creatures,
" As different in tbeir thoughts as features,
" To different provinces affign'd,
" Have different powers and different mind,
'' Have different ways and different talk —
" That birds canjfy—but man must walk !
" Had I, rash man ! deliberated,
" My aiebng bones bad not thus fated:
" In future I will learn to ajk,
" Os those more equal to the tag ;
" Injiead of Aying I will creep,
" I'll thinh to look before ZJeap;
" And learn to keep m, little sense,
f' Within tbe fpbere of bienfeance!"
######
#*####
YE Politicians of the day.
Think deep —or all,our febemes deca, :—
For, ah .'this foolijb flying notion,
Ma, give you this poor mad-man's portion.
From the General Advertiser.
AS when from Andes' loft, brow,
The bowling form is ^en below;
Deep thunders roll and lightnings fly,
Clouds blacken all the lower Jk,; '
Wefafel, view the awful sane,
The heavens above us all serene ;
Thus war with all bis black'ning forms.
The Europe™ f, Reforms ;
Columbia's Sons, united, free,
In peace, the direful cons a fee ;.
Aloof the, hear th ternpefl roar,
And blejs tbeir tranquil native Jhore.
'IGNOTUS.
The Humorist.
A DROLL fellow being in a tav
ern, was teazed by an old wo
man co read the Newspaper to her—
whereupon taking it up he began as
follows :— —Lift night, yesterday
morning, about three o'clock in the
afternoonjuft before breakfaft, a hun
gry boy bought a penny custard for
two pence, and threw, it through a
stone brick wall made of iron, nine
feet thick, and jumping over it, fell
into a dry mill-pond, and was drown
ed; the fame day about forty hours
% after an high wind at the Dutch
church, blew down the Overflaw
which killed an old sow and nine
dead pigs at Boston, where a mon
fyfttrous boar cat kittened a turkey, an;
old hen laid nine turkey's eggs and
hatched out ten live goflings, and a
dead horse kicked a blind man's eyes
out, True vow as 'iwas then.
^ ^. •'"',' ^ .<..>"^ '•.''^''''
Nor long fioce, a beau tn^wg
up White River, overtook a
boy, and thinking to joke him, &d
him how far it w^ go mile# a)ad.
The boy anfwefc— that it wai 20
miles to Woodcock ^, 1.0 mites
from there to the gallows, and from
the gallows to the D— —1 he knew
not how far.
. — *ctctesep_ —_-
Advertisement extra.
ISAAC FAC TOTUM, Barber, Peri
wig-maker, Surgeon, Pari/b Clerk,
Scboolmafler, Blackjmitb, and Man-
Midwife.
SHAVES for a penny, cuts hair for
two pence. Young ladies genteelly
educated. Lamps lighted by the
year or quarter. Also, psalm-singing
and horfe-fhoeiog by the real maker.
Likewise, makes and mends all forts
of boots and shoes, teaches the hoboy
and Jews' harp, cuts corns, bleeds and
blitters on the lowest term!.
Cowtillions and other dandle; taught
at home or abroad. Also deals whole
file and retail. Sells all forts of sta
tionary ware, together with blacking
balls, red-herrings, gingerbread, coal,
scrubbing brushes, treacle, mouse
traps, and other sweet-meats.
N. B. I teach Joggrefy and them
outlandish kind of things. A ball on
Wednesdays and Fridays. Ail per
formed (God willing) by me,
Isaac Fac-Totum.
■BaraßßßwmßFmraflßßQißnnmmHßßmßflQflQreraCTrctCT nmv
Miscellany.
— — —-—m£raW£&^^
From tbe Farmer's Weekly Museum.
THE FRIEND.
Raft consumes more tban Labor.
MR. Donotbing set out to cut a
dash in the world. He laid *
great plans, as is frequently the case
with those who execute but fmallones.
He was determined to be rich without
labor—run in debt for a large quanti
ty of goods—opened a store in the
country —hired two hands to tend—
trufted largely— kept fine horses —
rode about, like a man of conse
quence, or strutted about the street
with his umbrella—dressed gay and
lived high.—Why not ? fine clothes,
good liquors, loaf sugar and lemons
were very handy—only behind the
counter, and credit was good yet.
But the tables were soon turned.-——
Mr. Donotbing's creditors found out
that his expends were greater than
his income. He is called upon to fet
tle his accounts—is found five hun
dred pounds in the rear. Nobody
. will trust him-r-Nobody will help
him— Nobody pities him. He is cast
into prison, there to remain until he
has paid the uttermost farthing
Do^/bijg rusts in jail.
There are other ruffs besides the
jail rust. The pillow raft codfumes
many.
Peter Paleface has a tender mother,
is heir to a large fortune, and great
share of vanity. Necessity does not
call him to labor in the morning, and
he has heard that Boston folk< lie abed
late—this must make a gentleman.—
Mrs. Paleface humors hit foible—her
son is already very weakly and troub
led with frequent colds—were he ex
posed to the morning chill, ffie fears
it would bring on a confamption.
fyfPeter consumes with the pillow rust.
Poor boy I I with him better health,
and his indulgent ma'am more sense.
Did you ever hear of any body's
dying of e confumptior, who made &
constant practice of riling early ? Hot
tea, and violent dancing in a w^fm
room, toe been the cause of more
consumptions than cold ^aier or cold
air. If you feald yourielf with one,
or melt yourfeW with the other, and
take a violent cold, the fault is your
own. Never overheat yourtelf, and
you will never (offer with the cold.
Never let indolence detain you on bed,
and fcknefi will seldom confine you
there. Use yourfelf to the morning
air, and you will receive no injury
from that of the evening or midnight.
I am talking to those, who are con
suming with the pillow rust, not to
the hardy font of labor and health.
There is another very pernicious
kind of rust ; I mean the pulpit rust —
frequently found under a large white
wig. It is carried through the week
from sabbath to fabbath—lt gathers
on the pen while writing new ser
mont —no wonder it intefts those 7
years old. It is carried into the pu!-
Pit —its effeas are seen on the tongue,
countenance, and whole frame of the
foporific orator-—the words leave his
mouth like a lazy fellow rising from
his bed—his eyes; his leisures corres
pond with them—even the ideas are
infeded with thicruft. The speaker
lolls, the hearers fl~ep.—Spare men of
sacred order, you fay.—Negligence
needs a spur, wherever it is found.—
If I fee an auditor fieeping, I conclude
the (peaker is not more than half a
wake.
RUNAWAY BOY.
RAN away from the fubferiber on
the 2d day of this instant, Sep
tember, an apprentice boy, named
THOMAS SINCLER,
17 years old, large of his age ; had
on when he abfcooded a brown coat
and overalls. Whoever will take up
said boy, and return him to me, Ihall
receive one penny reward, but no
charges paid. Ail perlons are forbid
harboring or trusting him, as they
wou'd avoid the penalty of the law.
JONATHAN TAYLOR, jun.
Sandbornton, Sept. 7, 1795. 2
HATS! HATS?
LADIES and GENTLEMEN.
ISAAC PAGE, of Sa/i/bury,
HATTER,
HEREBY informs his friends,
the Public in general, and his old cus
tomers in particular, that he is furnifhed
with the best of workmen, &c. and is deter
mined to prosecute with vigor the business of
manufacturing the very best of
H AT S,
of all qualities, for Ladies and Gentlemen,
at his Shop, near the North Meeting House
in' Salisbury, on the lowest terms which the
times will admit of.
He solicits the custom of his
friends, and the continuance of the patron
age of old customers, who may depend on
his faithfulnefs and punctuality in promptly
executing their commands in the line of his
business—and every favor /hall be gratefully
acknowledged by their and the public's very
obedient humble servant,
ISAAC PAGE.
Salisbury, Sept. 3, 1795, 0
CASH, given for Hatters Furs, of
all kinds, by said PAGE.
SMALL POX.
INFORMATION is hereby given
A to the Public, that Inoculation with
the SMALL POX will commence,
on the 15th of September next, and
be continued till the firft day of Jan,
uary next, both days inclusively, at
the hospital in Hampftead.
JOHN BOND, juo.
Hampftead, Aug. 20, 1795. 9
NOW! or NEVER !
Afew TICKETS and garter^
in tbe Harvard College Letter,, may ,e bad at
LUTHER FlSK'sfore, if applied for foen.
RAGS wanted.
Call at this Office, and we'll paj 'Caffi.
HERE YOU MAY BUY
A Variety of little Pamphleti.
RICHARD RUGGLES,
CLOIHIER,
JNFORMS his friends and the public that
he has removed his FULLING MILL,
a few rods from its former place, which is
now ready to work—Those who plea fe to
favor him with their Cloth, may depend on
its being dressed in the neatest manner.
Loudon, Sept. 5,1795. 1
JOHN HART,
MOST earnestly requests all those that
have accounts open with him, to bring
in their accounts in order for settlement. —
Also all those that are indebted to him by
note, are requested to make immediate pay
ment, that he may be enabled to pay his
debts. Hopkinton, Sept 8, 1795. 1
Sadler's Apprentice wanted.
IX7ANTED, to learn the Sadler's Bufi.
VV nefs, a BOY from 13 to 1 § years of
age. Apply to JOHN ODLIN.
Concord, Sept, it, 1
Farm for sale.
TO BE SOLD,
A FARM, filiated in Concord,
about 4. miles from the Meeting Hohfe,
ON the main road from said
Concord to Loudon—Containing one
hundred acres of good Laqd, well watered
and timbered—with a convenient House and
Barn, and a thrifty young Orchard thereon,
which affords considerable of that healthy
drink called CYDER—Thirty acres of said
land are under good improvement—pro
portioned into mowing, pasturing and til
lage.
Part payment will be taken,
and a good payday given for the remainder,
upon good fecuri'y. For further particu
lars, apply to the fubferiber on the premises.
MILLEN KIMBALL.
Concord, Sept. 11, 1795.'
t—tmtmt — —cecQctttca&_Ba,—m __-
RICHARD DICY,
POST,
HEREBY informs his Customers, that
Mirror No. 153 will complete his firft
quarter since he began riding—at which pe
riod h, expeds pundual payments from all
his customers, agreeably to his firft propos
als, to enable him to pay the printers.
Gilmanton, Sept. 11, 1795. I
ELIAKIM HOWE,
of Henniker,
INFORMS his friends and the public that
he has engaged to ride post from Con
cord to Henniker, three months, with the
MIRROR, beginning with No. 150. And
he will expert the fam of two (hillings from
each customer, at the close of said term.
Henniker, Sept. 11,1795.
NOTE. Those who have received the pa
pers since No. 140 to 149, are requested to
make payments of 1/7 each, to said Howe, or
to the Printers, to whom the pay is due.
Concord, Sept. It, 1795.
THIS DAY PUBLISHED,
A SERMON, delivered at the
Interment of Miss SALLY PHILBRICK,
aged 17, the ONLY CHILD df Capt. Elias
Philbrick and Anne his wife, If Meredith,
by the Rev. Mr. WILLIAMS, if said Mere
dith. For faleat this Office.
^ In this sublime Discourse) the reader
will find consolatory balm for he affiided
bosom, and salutary admonitionfc both old
and young,
face x^xfo—— —________„___ tc—'
NEW ALMANACK.
This Day Publi&d,
And to be Sold, by CHARLES PEIRCE, in
Court-Street, Portsmouth,
The Friend's Astronomical Dia
e ry, or Almanack, for theytyr 1796;
Being Biffextile or Leap Year : sod the 20th
of American Independence—containing
Ecjipfes, afpeds, judgment of tlfe weather ;
Sun and Moon's rising and fitting ; Moon's .
place ; rising, fitting, cenjundiQn, &c. of
several Plan nets; High Water]; Vulgar
Notes ; Federal Courts ; Courts/in Massa
chusetts, Newhampihire and Vermont ; Ob
servable days ; Question on the arf of writ
ing ; Table of Memorable Events ; Poe
try ; Intersft Table ; Lift of Roads, &c &c.
Calculated for the Meridian of P )rtfmouth,
Newhampfhire, lat. 43 deg. 5 mi 1. north— ^
But may serve for any of the N^wengland
dates. By Benjamin Fry, who hlad his edu
cation in astronomy under the tuition of Dr
Nathaniel Low, of Berwick.
Theabove Almanack may be
had by the thousand or hundred), gross, do
zen or single. It is allowed by j udges to bel
as good a calculation as any extaht. ,