The Pennsylvania packet, or, The general advertiser — Lancaster, Pa.;Philadelphia, Pa., 1782-04-02 00:00:00, page 2

Teethe printer of the PENNSYLVANIA PACKET.
SI R,
I Was born and educated in the city of London, in a
part of the town most renowned for literary pro
duaioos. I mean the famous Grub-street. It is
true my terfder years were spent in a c liar: But my
aspiring abilities toon exalted me to a garret. A
goose's quill, two of which may be had fora half pen
ny, was the great engine where-with 1 acquired bread
and fame. I lived for a number of years in ragged re
putation; and might have been content with my lot,
were it the let of man to be content. But my active
genius wanted elbow room. I grew uneasy under the
refiraints of law and propriety. I wrote and published
against all the mn and meafuresl dared to write and
publish against; but the men were accountable officers
of government, and the measures merely political; as I
had a right to scrutinize these, Ihd little pleasure in
the scrutiny. I earnestly long'd to be more particular,
and to attack individual characters with security. It
is natural for men to love defamation and dander: The
more he degrades other people the more he raises his
own estimation: And if I could spurn all my fellow
Creaturesunder my feet, I should certainly be the great
est man in the world —This is good logic—But we can
not attack th human rice in the lump with success.
Like the fable of the bundle of flicks, we must take them
Tingly if we hope to f^b hie them, [have said slander is
a natural passion—it is so—we delight in private an
ecdotes—especially if they are scandalous : And every
mtn would abuse lis neighbour if he could and if he.
dare. The want of wit and the want of courage are
the only reflraints —Having exhibited in GRUB
STREET as long as was convenient, I determined to
make a voyage to AMERICA : which I was told was
the land of LIBERTY, I failed for a neutral island,
and from that neutral ifl^d arrived fafe in this city.
T am not disappointed in my expectations. I find every
thing as I would wish. I find the L£BEftT<oF the
press fully established. I fiqda paper profeffedly open
to all parties, and said t^ be influenc'd ay
none. A w r y worthy writer in this paper tells me
that—" TrMOLFON wa- adviPH to punish a man who
had spoken evil of I im, and that his answer was—so
fat from punishing him, t has long been my prayer to
the gods thatS, racufe might be so fre that any man
might fay whit he pleaded of every perfon''—This mud
needs hva very wife faying, becanfe it was said so long
ago; if it was ever said at all. But a fig for timu
leon and Syracuse. Ihopetofee the day in Philadelphia
when I may with impunity kick any man's shins I meet,
or spit in his face, or lay him over the head and (bould
ers wi+h my cane, as oy humour may incline, This
is true liberty—liberty with a vengeance.—l mean to
take advantage of the spirit of the times—l mean to
eclipse all tie writers in my way—and to shew I am not
mercenary, you Mr. Packet, shall enjoy the fruits
of my industry, as my performances will enable you to
add two-pence to the price of your paper. Some
men love to write slander, others to read it. I shall
be gratified, your customers well pleased, and you en
rich'd—and I the happy author of all this good^ To
qualify myfelf for this benevolent talk, I am colle&ing
private ancedotes of all the refpedable persons and
families within the reach of my intelligence. I shall at
firft level my artillery against public bodies, then def
cerd to particular characters : under the firft head I
shall a tack Cpngrefs, the Council, the Assembly, the
Judges, the University, and the several Churches; and
perhaps indulge my readers with a few words, by the
bye, against the chriftian religion. Under the second
head I shall fall pell-mell upon every individual worthy
of notice, beginning with the chkrader of the best man
in the world—l mean G IV — ; then take the
F r G—- —I in hand, aEd so by a regular gradati
on rife to the clerk of the market; whom I will maul
without mercy for fufFering the country waggons to
Hand across the passages in Front-street and Third
ftreets—What a field have I to rangein ! What a stage
for exlribittion !—The horse-whip shall be cover'd
with cob-webs beh nd the clock case, and the unfill'd
up writ be fmoak'l into yellowness by the pipe cf the
prothonotary, while I securely mangle the reputations
of my fellow citizens, and throw poifon'd arrows in
defence of the liberty f ruy press —
But you will look for some proof of my genius—for
your (atisfaction, I enclcfe a trifling performance ; the
produce of an idle hour—dt is
Scene a Garret; a large Pot cf Printer's Ink
STANDING ON THE FLOOR.
ift. Sc. Where haft thou been ?
3d. Sc. —Hearing tales;
Private slander much prevails.
Ift Sc. Brother, where thou!
2d.Sc. With the noify/croud to sue
For a place I had in view.
Avaunt thee wretchl a sullen patriot cries;
Avaunt! the people thy request denies.
Revenge ! Revenge for this I'll take ;
Hafle the infernal ink to make.
Tho' their cause cannot be loft.
Yet, it shall be vex'd and croft#
Seeds of discord we will sow ;
Seeds that never fail to grow.
3d.Sc.
2d. Sc.
21 Sc.
A PA R 0 D Y on a SCENE in Macbeth.
Scene, a blind Alley :
Enter three Scriblers.
i(L Sc. HEN shall we three meet again
VV To vex the heart and wreck the brain ?
2d. Sc. When the midnight moon invites, 1
When the howling cur affrights, ,
Then we'll hold our magic rites. J
3d.Sc. Where the place?
2d. Sc. Tn garret high;
Above the earth, beneath the iky.
We'll the infernal ink prepare,-
Fraught with mifchief, discord, care; }
Ift. &3d. Sc. We'll not fail to meet you there. )
Scene, a blind Alley :
Enter three Scriblers.
Enter the three Scriblers.
Exeunt.
ALL Perlons having demands
upon the estate of BENJAMIN DEANE, late cf
this city, deceased, are requeued to bring in their ac
counts, properly proved, to the fubferiber; end those
who are indebted to said estate, are desired to make im
mediate payment to JOHN PATTON, anting executor.
This specimen, I confefs, does not do me much cre
dit ; but I reserve my choicer abilities for the more ad
vanced stage of my design; when, I doubt not, I shall
be able to convince you and your readers that there is
not among all the writers in the UN INFLUENCED
PAPER, a man better qualified than myfelf to be a
general
Will Cover this season, at the
plantation cf Daniel Charles Heath, enquire, near
Warwick in the Rate of Maryland, at Ten Dollars the
Season for each mare, the famous high bred herfe
SILVER TAIL. He is a dark brown, full fifteen
hands three inches high, remarkably strong made
and very a&ive. Silver Tail was bred by Samuel Gal
loway, enquire, and got by Mr. Daniel Wpiftenholm's
Tanner, and out of Tulip. Tulip was got by Old Se
lim, and out of a mare imported by Daniel Dulany, efq.
Good pasturage wi'l be provided at 3s. gd. per week
for mares that come from a diftanoe, and very particular
care will be taken of all m'r?s sent to tee above men
tioned herfe. The pedigree of. Tulip may be seen at
the stable where the horse ftandt, it being too tedious
to be inserted in an, advertisement. Good clean mer
chantable wheat will be received at market price, where
cadi cannot be had. RICHARD RIX, groom.
+s4 {,+s+s*+<>+*s+s+,-,&~,4°+
Dire diffention, envy, hate
Shall not fail to propagate.
Num'rous shall their offspring be;
Scorpion-tongued—Hell's progeny.
Fair is foul, and foul is fair;
Hale! th' infernal ink prepare.
id. Sc. Look what I've got—a hero's name —
2d.Sc. Oh, blast his fame!
3d. Sc. — Blast his fame!
2d.Sc. And I, a (citator's profound
For wisdom, prudence, truth renown'd.
3d, Sc. His deeds to infamy we'll turn all,
And murder in the Freeman's Journal.
Where Malice sets her venom'd tooth,
Virtue's made vice and falfehood truth.
Fair is foul, and foul is fair—
Hade, th' infernal ink prepare.
isl. Sc. The moon-struck cur begins to howl;
And hark! I hear the screaming owl,
'Tis time !—'Tis time ! our rites begin;
" 'Tis only day-light that makes fin."
Round-about the ink-pot go;
In the pois'nous mixture throw.
All. Around, around, around
About, about, about:
All ill come running in,
All. good keep out.
id. Sc. SLIME, discharg'd from maw of snake,
Mantled on putrefeent lake;
Gengreen, yellow, venom-fraught:
Rankling fpeen and gloomy thought
Engend'ring —here I've get—
And pour it in th' enchanted pot.
All. Around, around, around
About, about, about,
All ill come running in,
, All good keep out. —
2f.Sc. DROP, that from a lawyer's quill,
Sur-charg'd with mifchief did distill :
Made of gall nuts which did grow
On vaphous poo's in marches low ;
Made of gall-nuts which did flew
In murky damps and baneful, dew ;
Magic drop, prepar'd with act,
To wreck the brain and vex the heart,
M;x thou in th' enchanted pot — [blot.
Let nothing CLEANS!, WHERE THOU DOST
ALL. Around, around, around
About, about, about,
All ill come running in,
All good keep out.
3d.Sc. So much for malice and deceit —
To make the mixture quite cornpleat,
A pert and wat'ry wit we'll join,
And let that talk me mine ;
id. & 2d.Sc. 'Tis thine.
3d.Sc. SCUM, which yeasty billows throw
On the firmed, when south winds blow;
Filthy, frothy excrement,
Steam in unctious cellules pent,4
Fermentative and flatulent, J
To thin the liquor have I got,
And stir it in th' enchanted pot.
All. Around, around, around
About, about, about,
All ill come running in,
All good keep out.
MORPHEUS rises.
Morph. 'Tis well! and I commend your pains,
And ev'ry one shall share i' the gains.
Behold three quills, three magic quills, I bring,
Pluck'd, by three furies, from a goose's wing—
A goof long fed and fatten'd on
Green Held bore of AchproN.
Here's one for you—and you—and" you.
All. Thanks mighty power! 'twill do, 'twill do.
Morph. Whilst I with vapours cloud the brain,
ALECTO shall inspire ;
Thus in your works will dullness reign,
Warm'd with malignant fire.
And now ypur former labours you may burn all
And daily scribble for the FREE M A N's
[JOURNAL.
Ex. Omnes.
CALUMNIATOR.
HARRY Ran aw?, at Chriftnm • •he is a dark
mulatto, about 25 ye^rs old, 5 feet 4 or 5 inch
es high, flout made, rcund face, and short
neck : he is an artful fallow, very hindy in waiting on
a gentleman, cr about house, can drive a carriage wi 11,
and has ten ufd to horfe^. Had 01 when be went
away, a fulled country cloth coat, much worn, a new
white kerfey short jacket, new mixed coloured kerfey
breaches, good (lines and yarn flockings. He has had
the middle fioger of his right band broke : as he is a
vety plsufib^ fallow and fend or dress, it is probable
he will steal better cloath#, ,nI endeavour to hire him
felf as a free n<gro ; it 6 likely he may take up hisa
bode nf^r the home of William Cooke, efqaire, in
Prince George's county,as he has discovered an attach
ment foroneof Mr. Cook'; maids. I wiil give Twen
ty Shillings, iftaken within te^ miles from home, Three
Pounds if thi. ty miles, snd if fifty miles, the above re
ward, and reasonable charges ir brought home. 11:
has been seen about the Head of SalLfrafr.
ROBERT BROWNE.
Queen Ann's county, Maryland, Feb. 11, 1782.
Twelve hogsheads of excellent
Jam&s-River TOBACCO, to be Sold by WILSON &
LAWRANCE, in Water-street, between Market-street
and th* Old-Ferry.
TO BE SO L D,
A two story Brick House, with
two room# on a floor, with a two story Kitchen ad
joining, lituate in Front street, one door above the cor
ner of A mood street. For terms enquire at said houfe#
About Two Hundred afti Fifty, cr Three Hundred
Pounds on Int rest, for one year or more : Good se
curity will be given for the fame. Enquire of the
Printer. March 29.
in Water-street, between Market -nd Arch-streets,
SUPERFINE Broadcloths, Blankets, fine and coarse
" Lhnns, printed Handkerchief'#, Calicoes, Chintzes,
mrns silk Hose ; a variety of Silks, Sattins, Gauzes,
L?ces, gold and silver Buttons, common Hats, Sail-
Duck, Window Glass, Jesuits Bark, Shot, Sheet- Lead,
Printing Paper, French Salt; an allotment of Fiddle
ftrings, Guitars and Mandoline# : Alie excellent Claret
in cases. Sugar, Coffer, Beef, Fork, &c. &c.
Also, the b^ft Buff, Whieand Creamer loured Cafi
mers, with n assortment of the best Enammelled, Ja
ptiud and Fancy Buttons, &c. &c. April t.
To be SOLD by Public AUCTION, on
SATURDAY he 6th instant, at Twelve o'Clock,
ct he Coifte House, the following Frame Buildings:
No. i, a small Frame Building
fronting VL^nm-ft-ret, between Seventh arid Eighth
streets, 20 feet front by 15 deep.
, No. 2, a As Fr^rne Barn, back cf the above de
scribed u ding, 37 %by 3 r, covered with ceder
fh:ngl.es. 1
No. 4, C^rpentnV Shop at the 0 ner of Sixth and
Cnefnut th: .§, 43 y 26 feet, c-v red with (higgles.
No. §, a Smith's Sho , on Seventh street, between
Market ana Chefnut-ftrecs, 24 by 20 fret.
No. 6, 4 Coal House adjoining the (hop, 28 by 20
feet.
George Hughes & Co.
Have for SALE at their Store, the South fide of Market
ftreet, next the wharff.
The whole to be removed off rhe premises as soon as
possible after the sale
Just : LNED and to be SOLD by
JOHN SHIELDS,
at :h North Raft corner cf Chefnut and Second street,,
VL alGrtmentcf tne oelt Superfine C o:hs, among
vfyeh are the following colours;
JIGHT Dr&
J Cht .Colours,
Brown,
On SATURDAY the 6th inftart, will be SOLD by
PUBLIC VENDUE, at Lewis-Town,
The Hull of the brigantine
ALEXANDRIA, lately cast away near that place,
with the Cables, Anchors, Sails, Rigging, &c. fayed
from said brig. Philadelphia, April xft.
No. 3 ^ } adjoining the barn, 12 by 1$
feet.
SHOT of different sizes, Copperas, Madder, of the
best quality, imported in the St. James from France;
also, W~fl-India Rum, Sugar in boxes, Madeira
and other Wines, &c.
(THE fare of the city lots, advertifeA to be held on
q the third infant, for the redemption of the bills
of credit of this Rate, &c. is postponed until THURS
DAY the irth instant. April 2.
STEPHEN GIRAKD,
Fors,
G reer,s,
Purplea,
F :H and Queens Drabs,
. White,
Scarlet, &c.
Five Pounds Reward.
WANTE D,
ForSILE, at the STORE ot