From: chris.dorland@enron.com
To: migeorge@deloitte.ca
Date: 2001-08-30 18:42:01+00:00
Subject: RE: guide

Glad you like the place. Missed the PS on the first message.

 -----Original Message-----
From: 	"George, Mike (CA - Calgary)" <migeorge@deloitte.ca>@ENRON [mailto:IMCEANOTES-+22George+2C+20Mike+20+28CA+20-+20Calgary+29+22+20+3Cmigeorge+40deloitte+2Eca+3E+40ENRON@ENRON.com] 
Sent:	Thursday, August 30, 2001 1:19 PM
To:	Dorland, Chris
Subject:	RE: guide


Thurday night, Johnny wants to reunite.  I may get lynched from Maris and Steph if I don't go to v-ball as it is playoffs - I'll let you know - may be late night Johnny (9 oclock).  What are you doing for the rest of the weekend.  Should I talk to Ry-Ry, some ladies, etc and set up a night where we hit the town?  Or do you have plans.  Keep me posted.
MG 
PS 
I drove by your place - babe layer...nice. 
-----Original Message----- 
From: Chris.Dorland@enron.com [mailto:Chris.Dorland@enron.com << File: mailto:Chris.Dorland@enron.com >> ] 
Sent: Thursday, August 30, 2001 12:10 PM 
To: migeorge@deloitte.ca 
Subject: RE: guide 
I think I'm going to buy a Grand Cherokee Limited instead of the X5 and 
save myself 30K. Are we on with Johnny next week? 
    -----Original Message----- 
   From:   "George, Mike (CA - Calgary)" <migeorge@deloitte.ca>@ENRON 
             [mailto:IMCEANOTES-+22George+2C+20Mike+20+28CA+20-+20Calgary+29+22+20+3Cmigeorge+40deloitte+2Eca+3E+40ENRON@ENRON.com << File: mailto:IMCEANOTES-+22George+2C+20Mike+20+28CA+20-+20Calgary+29+22+20+3Cmigeorge+40deloitte+2Eca+3E+40ENRON@ENRON.com >> ]
   Sent:   Thursday, August 30, 2001 12:45 PM 
   To:     Dorland, Chris 
   Subject:  FW: guide 
   When  you have 5 minutes you have to read this e-mail about shitting at 
   work.  It  is the funniest thing I have ever read. 
   -----Original Message----- 
   From: Schoenhals, Jeff CIC  [mailto:JSchoenhals@cicorp.sk.ca << File: mailto:JSchoenhals@cicorp.sk.ca >> ] 
   Sent: Tuesday, August 14, 2001 8:14  AM 
   To: 'George, Mike (CA - Calgary)' 
   Subject: RE:  guide 
   I  know, it's so true!!  I had a jailbreak last week and I just about 
   died  laughing. 
   -----Original Message----- 
   From: George, Mike (CA - Calgary)  [mailto:migeorge@deloitte.ca << File: mailto:migeorge@deloitte.ca >> ] 
   Sent: August 14, 2001 8:07  AM 
   To: 'Schoenhals, Jeff CIC' 
   Subject: RE:  guide 
   this is the funniest thing I have ever read in my life! 
   -----Original Message----- 
   From:  Schoenhals, Jeff CIC [mailto:JSchoenhals@cicorp.sk.ca << File: mailto:JSchoenhals@cicorp.sk.ca >>  << File: 
   mailto:JSchoenhals@cicorp.sk.ca << File: mailto:JSchoenhals@cicorp.sk.ca >>  >> ] 
   Sent: Tuesday, July 31, 2001 8:38 AM 
   To: Brent Ehrich (E-mail); C. A. Hatlelid (E-mail); Colin Clements (CA 
   Calgary) (E-mail); Colin Laturnus (E-mail); Geoff  Yaworski (E-mail); 
   Jason Wessel (E-mail); John Gorst  (E-mail); Max Zureski (E-mail); 
   Michael O'Krancy  (E-mail); Mike George (E-mail); Scott. Parks (E-mail); 
   Tyler Stuart (E-mail) 
   Subject: FW: guide 
   -----Original Message----- 
   From:  brett.selinger@sasktel.sk.ca [mailto:brett.selinger@sasktel.sk.ca << File: mailto:brett.selinger@sasktel.sk.ca >>  
   << File: mailto:brett.selinger@sasktel.sk.ca << File: mailto:brett.selinger@sasktel.sk.ca >>  >> ] 
   Sent: July 30, 2001 4:51 PM 
   To: Craig  Bryksa; eharmel; Mike Harmel; jjknoll@jpm.hewitt.com; C. 
   Leier; coltsback@hotmail.com; jschoenhals@cicorp.sk.ca 
   Subject: guide 
   ----- Forwarded by Brett Selinger/SaskTel/CA on 07/30/2001  04:49 PM 
   ----- 
                        Larry Martin 
                                             To:     Brett 
   Selinger/SaskTel/CA@SaskTel 
                        07/30/2001            cc: 
                        04:18  PM              Subject:     guide 
   1999 SURVIVAL GUIDE FOR TAKING A DUMP AT WORK. 
   ESCAPEE 
   Definition: 
     A fart that slips out while taking a leak at the urinal   or 
   forcing poop in a stall. This is usually  accompanied by a sudden wave 
   of panic/embarrassment.  This is similar to the hot flash you receive 
   when  passing an unseen police car and speeding. If you release an 
   escapee, do not acknowledge it. Pretend it did not happen. If you  are 
   standing next to the farter at the urinal, pretend  that you did not 
   hearit. No one likes an escapee, it  is uncomfortable for all involved. 
   Making a joke or  laughing makes both parties feel uneasy. 
   JAILBREAK (Used in conjunction with escapee) 
   Definition: When forcing poop, several farts slip out at a machine  guns 
   pace. This is usually a side effect of diarrhea  or a hangover. If this 
   should happen do not panic,  remain in the stall until everyone has left 
   the  bathroom so to spare everyone the awkwardness of what just 
   occurred. 
   COURTESY FLUSH 
   Definition: The act of  flushing the toilet the instant the nose cone of 
   the  poop log hits the water and the poop is whisked away to an 
   undisclosed location. This reduces the amount of air time the poop  has 
   to stink up the bathroom. This can help you avoid  being caught doing 
   the 
   WALK OF SHAME. 
   WALK OF SHAME 
   Definition: Walking from  the stall, to the sink, to the door after you 
   have  just stunk-up the bathroom. This can be a very uncomfortable 
   moment 
   if someone walks in and busts you. As with all farts, it is  best to 
   pretend that the smell does not exist. Can be  avoided with the use of a 
   COURTESY FLUSH. 
   OUT OF THE CLOSET POOPER 
   Definition: A  colleague who poops at work and is damn proud of it. You 
   will often see an Out of the Closet Pooper enter the bathroom with 
   newspaper or magazine under their arm. Always look  around the office 
   for 
   the Out of the Closet pooper  before entering the bathroom. 
   THE POOPING FRIENDS NETWORK (PFN) 
   Definition: A group of coworkers who band together to ensure  emergency 
   pooping goes off without incident. This  group can help you to monitor 
   the whereabouts of OUT  OF THE CLOSET POOPERS and identify SAFE HAVENS. 
   SAFE HAVEN 
   Definition: A seldom used  bathroom somewhere in the building where you 
   can least  expect visitors. Try floors that are predominantly of the 
   opposite sex. This will reduce the odds of a pooper of your sex 
   entering 
   the bathroom. 
   TURD BURGLAR 
   Definition: A pooper who  does not realize that you are in the stall and 
   tries  to force the door open. This is one of the most shocking and 
   vulnerable moments that occur when taking a dump at work. If  this 
   occurs, remain in the stall until the TURD  BURGLAR leaves. This way you 
   will avoid all  uncomfortable eye contact. 
   CAMO-COUGH 
   Definition: A phony cough  which alerts all new entrants into the 
   bathroom that  you are in a stall. This can be used to cover-up a 
   WATERMELON or to alert potential TURD BURGLARS. Very effective when 
   used 
    in 
   conjunction with  an ASTAIRE. 
   ASTAIRE 
   Definition: A subtle toe-tap  that is used to alert potential TURD 
   BURGLARS that you  are occupying a stall. This will remove all doubt 
   that 
   the stall is occupied. If you hear an ASTAIRE, leave the  bathroom 
   immediately so the pooper can poop in  peace. 
   WATERMELON 
   Definition: A turd that  creates a loud splash when hitting the toilet 
   water.  This is also an embarrassing incident. If you feel a WATERMELON 
   coming on, create a diversion. See CAMO-COUGH. 
   HAVANA OMELET 
   Definition: A load of  diarrhea that creates a series of loud splashes 
   in the  toilet water. Often accompanied by an escapee. Try using a 
   CAMO-COUGH with an ASTAIRE. 
   UNCLE TED 
   Definition: A bathroom user  who seems to linger around forever. Could 
   spend  extended lengths of time in front of the mirror or sitting on the 
   pot. An UNCLE TED makes it difficult to relax while on the  crapper, as 
    you 
   should  always wait to drop your load when the bathroom is empty.This 
   benefits you as well as the other bathroom attendees. 
   FLY BY 
   Definition: The act of scouting  out a bathroom before pooping. Walk in, 
   check for  other poopers. If there are others in the bathroom, leave and 
   come back again. Be careful not to become a FREQUENT FLYER.   People may 
   become suspicious if they catch you  constantly going into the bathroom. 
   CRACK WHORE 
   Definition: A crapper that  has seen more ass than a Greyhound Bus. 
   Tell tale  signs of a CRACK WHORE include hairs, stains and streaks. 
   Avoid CRACK WHORES at all cost. Try finding out when the janitor  cleans 
   each particular bathroom. Don't forget with a  good cleaning,a CRACK 
    WHORE 
   can become a SAFE HAVEN. 
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