Howard Calvert straps his bike to a helicopter in New Zealand t’s a dangerous business, Frodo, going out of your door. You step into the road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to:“ It would be negligent to cover an adventure in New Zealand, AKA Middle-earth, without mentioning these wise words from Bilbo to his grandson. It is very much a dangerous business, and that's what makes New Zealand the ultimate country for adventure. Let’s get this out of the way: it isa long way to go for a bike ride (about as far as you can get from the UK), but the flights with Air New Zealand made the journey to Queenstown painless (and entertaining, thanks to its Hobbit-themed safety video), and once there, the riding options will tempt even the most sedentary of folk. Queenstown adventure capital of the world; home to a number of ubiquitous bungee jumps, you can also, depending on the season, skydive, white-water raft, ski, snowboard and – what I’m here to do – mountain bike.
DAY 1
I’ve barely had time to acclimatise when I find myself strapped into a helicopter at what would normally be the hour l’d be climbing into bed. As the rotors begin to whirr and the aircraft lifts off the ground with our bikes strapped to the side, my guide, Greg McIntyre of Fat Tyre, points to a mountain in the distance. “That’s the hill we’ll be landing on." I narrow my eyes and peer in the direction of Greg's finger in case I'm missing something. Hill? Where I'm from – Lincolnshire, one of the flattest counties in the UK – that "hill" would rival Everest (and at 1,700m, would dwarf Ben Nevis's 1,344m). I'm learning that Kiwis are fond of understatement. The flight up to Crown Peak ‘hill’ is spectacular (a word I utter time and time again on my trip). Taking off from Queenstown Airport, in the shadow of the Southern Alps in New considers itself the Zealand's South Island, surrounded by snowcapped peaks and lush, green valleys, it’s hard not to picture Baggins and co wearily trekking across the landscape. The pilot points out several filming locations as we fly to our drop-off point, but as I'm not a 'Ringon' (what the locals call LOTR fans), I simply nod and say “Wow” a lot. Exiting the chopper goes smoothly (ie no one walks into the rear rotor, a risk we are repeatedly, and alarmingly, warned about), and we are soon left in silence to take in the view, which is the kind of scenery that leaves you stumbling inexpertly for an appropriate metaphor. I jump on my full-suspension bike and stumble inexpertly once again, this time behind Greg as he begins the descent, yelling things like "Just follow me – unless I go down a hole" at me as we pick our line carefully along The adrenaline is fighting my urge to keep stopping to Instagram the view in every direction (I'm told there are more than 360 vistas on the descent) but I bike on, focusing on the trail in front of me and not wiping out down the scree. We wind our way down untracked farmland, making our way to an old packer trail from the gold-mining days, where we pick up the free- flowing singletrack, dipping in and out of streams and over huge slabs of rock. I can feel myself grinning wider than l have done in a long time. And it’s not the jet lag-induced madness. After a few hours riding, we arrive at our final destination, the former gold-mining mecca Arrowtown, and sample something else New Zealand is famous for: craft beer, in the Fork & Tap pub. The most appropriate word to describe the day – a
DAY 2
It’s back on the chopper with Greg, this time heading to a different ‘hill’ for a ride entitled the ‘Cardrona Pub Run’. Another 1,600m descent in rock-strewn back-country farmland that makes you feel like you are the only humans left in existence. winding through fields with the sun on our backs and a cold pint at the end of it. Joining us today is an Australian guy who hasn’t ridden a bike for 40 years. He takes three bad falls on the way down, describing it as "the scariest, most physical thing I’ve done in my life”. It turns out he broke two ribs and suffered a thoracic compression and fracture of one vertebrae.
DAY 3
No helicopters today: instead, l use a cable car to carry my bike up a mountain at the Skyline Park – a manmade network of downhill trails graded like a ski run. I receive coaching from British Downhill Champion Ben Cathro of Vertigo Bikes. He tells me – politely – that I’m cornering like Dame Maggie Smith, and gives me some pointers on how to do it properly. I then tackle a few runs down the mountain – the trail names, such as 'Armageddon' and 'Vertigo', more or less sum up my reactions during the descent. I start with the easiest – Hammy’s (so-called because your hamstrings are screaming by the end of it) and, in between wearing a hole in my disc brakes l find myself grinning that same grin all the way down. The fact that the medical centre is at the bottom makes me slightly less concerned about faceplanting into a tree. I later meet local pro biker Kelly McGarry – a man famous for a crash that destroyed both his wheels on landing (YouTube it) – who tells me the reason he lives in Queenstown is that it has so T H E  D E T A I L S Fly: Return flights from London to Auckland (via LA) with Air New Zealand start from £994 per person; airnewzealand.co.uk/ flights-to-new-zealand Stay:  Rooms at Hotel Novotel Queenstown start from £80 per night, including breakfast; novotel.com Need to know:  A half-day of heli-biking with Fat Tyre Adventures starts from around £195; fat-tyre.co.nz. A half-day pass with Queenstown Skyline starts from £30; skyline.co.nz/ queenstown. Hire a bike from Vertigo Bikes from £20 for a half day; vertigobikes.co.nz. Access to Rabbit Ridge trail centre starts from £55 for a day, including bike hire; rabbitridge.co.nz. Charge About electric mountain bikes start from £40 for a half day; chargeabout.co.nz. A GoPro Hero 4 Black action camera costs £409.99; halfords.com. For more information, visit newzealand.com many world-class riding spots. “You have the Gorge Road Jump Park, which is one of the best jump parks in the world," he says. “You’ve got the Skyline Gondola Bike Park – a great park to come and shred. Then you’ve got a great network of cross-country and enduro all-mountain trails. l wouldn’t live anywhere else.“
DAY 4
It’s off for more cross-country singletrack riding at Rabbit Ridge trail centre. It’s soon apparent how it got that name as bunnies shoot out across the trails at the sound of my bike: a new and unexpected hazard. I end my odyssey with something more sedate: electric mountain biking. Charge About hires out powered bikes for you to ride around the stunning Lake Wakatipu. Using the ‘turbo’ setting, I was taking the hills like Chris Froome, but with a fraction of the effort. It’s not a free ride, though – don’t expect to press a button and the bike does the work for you. It just boosts your pedalling power, but it’s the ideal way to see the sights without expending much effort. Four days is nowhere near enough time to do everything Queenstown has to offer: I didn’t make it out to the cross-country trails on Coronet Peak or the Gorge Road Jump Park... but it gave me a taste of what New Zealand has to offer those who like their adrenaline served on two whee Plus, it gives me excuse to go back……… AMES LOHA CO-FOUNDER OF BOUTIQUE HOTEL COLLECTION MR & MRS SMITH, ON TRANQUIL ALTERNATIVES The Atlas Mountains, [Morocco These mountains outside Marrakech look like they’ve been stolen from a particularly scenic part of Mars. Near the top, Hotel Kasbah du Toubkal overlooks three rocky valleys, and a mule carries your bags up to reception. Doubles start from £334 a night, including breakfast Budapest, Hungary The boho Brody House hotel in Budapest, colonised by the Romans for its thermal springs, is a bargain. Doubles from £51 a night Milton Abbot, England The fairy-tale fishing lodge Hotel Endsleigh is on Devon's River Tamar, with babbling waters just a gentle stroll from your bedroom. Doubles from £190 a night, including breakfast [Montana, US] The Ranch at Rock Creek is a phenomenal, budget- blowing all-inclusive hotel where you can just sit on a rocker and stare at scenery. Doubles from £1,920 a night, including all activities, meals and drinks Wester Ross, Scotland Pool House, a five-room boutique hotel in the northwest, sits on the spectacular shores of Loch Ewe. Make the effort to reach it for single malts by a log fire. Doubles from £225 a night, including breakfast mrandmrssmith.com