Silent Tears
Ms. Vindhya WEERATUNGA (Sri Lanka)
Kumari was a beautiful girl, born to a middle-class family in Sri Lanka. She had
two younger sisters. Life was not very kind to her from the beginning. Her father
passed away suddenly, when she was 10 years old. Her mother became thebreadwinner of the family, overnight.
As the eldest girl, Kumari had to shoulder the main household responsibilities
such as cooking, cleaning and helping her younger sisters with their school work, as
her mother was busy working. Kumari became the ‘mother’ to her sisters.
However, thanks to the free education system in Sri Lanka, Kumari completed
her secondary education and gained admission to a local university. She graduatedwith a bachelor’s degree in Management and also gained a professional qualificationin finance.
Soon after graduating, Kumari found a job at a private company. She worked
hard and managed to save enough money to have a simple wedding ceremony, when
she got married to Saman, whom she met whilst in university. After marriage, she
moved into Saman’s house and started living with her in-laws.
Soon after, Kumari got pregnant. It was only after marriage that Kumari learnt
that her mother-in-law suffered from a mental disorder. Kumari suffered in thehands of her mother-in-law and was again back to cooking and cleaning, in addition
to going to work. She dreamt of the day when she would have her baby and looked
forward to it.
Unfortunately, life had other plans for Kumari. Her baby was born dead, which
devastated Kumari. However, she had to get back to her normal life. She returned towork and in work she found happiness. After two years, Kumari got pregnant again
and gave birth to a baby boy.
Yet, the miseries in Kumari’s life were not over. When her son was about twoyears old, doctors diagnosed him with a speech disability. Kumari struggled to keep
up with her work, household chores, and also attend to her child. Her husband wasincreasingly working late into nights, claiming to be busy at work. Since the childkept getting worse and needed special care, Kumari had no other option but to leave
her job and stay at home.
Amidst all this, one day, Kumari was in for the shock of her life when Saman
told her that he was in love with someone else at work. He demanded for a divorce.
When Kumari refused to give him the divorce, Saman left home to live with hismistress. This affected Kumari and especially the child terribly. Finally, Kumari
agreed to the divorce. Even though Kumari was raising the child on her own, withchild support from Saman, she was not able to gain the legal custody of the child.
The court determined the legal custody to be given to the father considering the bestinterest of the child, as in many similar cases in Sri Lanka, especially when themother is not an income earner.
Even though Kumari is now considering moving to another country to start life
fresh, she is unable to take her child and leave, because her ex-husband would notallow her to take the child out of the country. Opportunities are rare for her to return
to work too, as she has had a career break and companies are reluctant to recruit her.
Kumari moved back to live with her mother, who is now old, retired, and bitter.
She has had a difficult life herself and does not want to be burdened with a divorced
daughter and a grandchild with special needs.
Kumari is not the only woman in Sri Lanka who has been faced with thesecircumstances. There are hundreds of divorce cases pending in the Sri Lankan courts
and the number is increasing rapidly. In Kumari’s case, her ex-husband married hisgirlfriend and is living happily. But for Kumari, it is very challenging to find a man
who is willing to accept her, plus her child. If she cannot find employment soon, hermisery will continue for many more years to come.
What does the future hold for Kumari? Her silent tears tell the story of manysuch women in Sri Lanka.

(Inspired by a true story. Names have been changed to maintain anonymity.)