interrogates, debates, criticizes, answers,
or talks about what someone else has
shared, regardless of whether they’redoing so during their own share time.
We’re each here to talk only about ourown “stuff,” not anyone else’s “stuff.”
The only time someone may beinterrupted while sharing is if thechairperson or a senior group member
feels that these guidelines are being
ignored to the extent that group safety
and harmony are at risk. This also includes
asking people to “wrap up” when theymonopolize share time.
How to Get Feedback
We understand that not getting feedback
can be frustrating for people when theywant input from others. That’s why ourguideline is specifically “no unsolicited
feedback” which is for everyone’s
protection and benefit. Anyone can ask for
feedback, but it will only be given whenthe meeting is over. At the end of yoursharing, you can just say something like,“If anyone would like to give me feedback
at the end of the meeting, I want to hear
what you have to say.” If you only want
feedback from certain individuals, you canapproach them after the meeting and ask
them if they’d feel comfortable giving you
feedback.
They won’t solve your life’s problems; thatjob is for you and your Higher Power. They
can only offer suggestions which are solely

their opinions. That’s why you’ll often hearus say, “Take what you want and leave therest.”
Hugs
Before or after the meeting you may see
some of us giving each other hugs. We
know that not everyone enjoys giving or
receiving hugs; therefore, you will only begiven hugs if you let us know that’s whatyou’d like. You or anyone else can say“yes” or “no” to a hug; therefore, don’t beoffended if someone declines a hug fromyou. It’s not rejection; that person is being
healthy by respecting their own needs andwants. If you ask for hugs, you’ll likely
receive all the hugs you can handle.
So once again, welcome to our EA group.
We hope we help you feel as if you’realready a member of our “EA family.”P.O. Box 4245
St. Paul, MN 55104-0245© 2008,2017 Emotions Anonymous International —Item #27
EA-approved literature. This pamphlet may be
reproduced for free distribution.

Newcomer
Orientationwww.emotionsanonymous.org+1 651-647-9712

Our Guidelines for a Productive Meeting
As a newcomer to our meeting, we wish toextend a warm welcome to you. If this is
your first 12-step meeting, we applaud
you for your courage. Every one of us
attended a 12-step meeting for the firsttime, and we know it can be intimidating.
Our goal here is to ensure that this is asafe place for everyone to both share andlisten. We find we can accomplish this bypracticing the following principles:“I” Language
It’s the language that’s spoken whensharing. Please avoid making “you” or“we” statements. Newcomers may findthis difficult to do at first, but they usuallyfind they can comfortably adapt to it aftera few meetings. “I” language is used evenwhen expressing the obvious. Therefore,
while a statement like, “We all need totake care of our bodies,” might beperceived as lecturing, the problem isavoided if expressed as “I need to takecare of my body.”
We also use “I” language because recovery
involves taking responsibility for one’sown life and thoughts. Saying “you” or“we” is a way to avoid taking fullresponsibility.
Equal Time for All to Share
In order to ensure that everyone has anopportunity to share equally, please be
conscious of how long you talk. Once

everyone has shared or passed, people
can share again if time permits. We
understand that occasionally someone
may need extra time to share, and we
support that when it’s done within reason.
People needing even more time can join
us for coffee after the meeting.
We Don’t Advertise Our Religious orPolitical Beliefs
This is a spiritual program, not a religious
program. “We never discuss religion,politics, national or international issues,or other belief systems or policies.” Wetalk about a Higher Power. We mightshare whether or not religion and religious
services are important in our lives.
We avoid, however, identifying ourparticular religion, or political beliefs,
because when it comes to these topics,
the line becomes too easily blurred
between sharing and preaching. At ourmeetings we try to explore ourcommonality, not what separates us. Our
goal here is harmony. Please be awarethat people from all of the world’s faiths
attend our meetings. Part of our recovery
is knowing that we can only decide whatworks for us, not for others. In EA we showrespect for everyone’s right to have abelief system different from our own.
Having a Positive Outlook
This is what working an EA program is allabout. We attend meetings to either findways to be at peace with unsolvableproblems or find solutions to them bybeing open to possibilities and staying
focused on the positive aspects of ourcircumstances. No one benefits if ameeting turns into a pity-party orcomplaint club.
Newcomers, though, are encouraged toshare their problems as best as they can.
They quickly see that meetings arehealthier when what is shared is no more
important than how it’s shared.
No One Is Forced to Participate
No one is ever under any obligation toeither share or read out loud. If you don’t
wish to do so, just say “Pass.” We want
you to participate only when you’re ready.
You are welcome to just listen for as many
meetings as you like.
Unsolicited Feedback and Crosstalk
They are strongly discouraged at ourmeetings. No crosstalk means that when aperson shares at a meeting, the group’s
job is to be totally silent and give that
person their undivided attention. Any
distracting behavior that might make theperson speaking lose their train of thought
is considered crosstalk.
A person is to be allowed to share without
editorial quips, one-liners or interruptions
from others, including advice or commentsthat are intended to help. It’s alsocrosstalk when anyone judges, preaches,