Cultural gap at home
Toyama National College of Maritime Technology 2nd grade
Haruna Kusajima
Have you ever felt out of place when talking with local people while were you travelingabroad or even in Japan? I had such a feeling very often at home when I was small. Family
members usually share the same sense of value and feeling. That’s why we feel safe and relaxed athome. But I sometimes felt uncomfortable and irritated. I felt as if I was living with someone fromanother planet.
My mother is Japanese, but she was born and brought up in Brazil. After coming to Japan,
she got to know my father, married him, and started family in Toyama. // I love my mother and mylife very much, but when I was in a kindergarten, I began to realize that our home was somewhat
strange and different from other families. Maybe it was because my mother didn’t know Japanesecustoms and couldn’t read or write Japanese very well. This made me disappointed, upset and often
irritated.
When I was small, if I did something wrong, my mother never hesitated to scold me even infront of others. She said, “Stop it! That’s bad.” But Japanese mothers usually say to their children,“Don’t do that. It’s shameful.” I think this shows that Japanese mothers care about what others
think of them. In other words, they care about others judgment, while my mother tried to teach herchildren what is right and what is wrong, or to implant sound judgment in her children. That’s why
she scolded us anywhere, anytime.
My mother and my grandmother also had some trouble, too. They often argued over manythings. As a custom, our relatives visit my house on New Year’s Day. Then my mother and mygrandmother prepare all the food and treat the guests all day long. My mother thinks it is strangethat only women should do all the work. She’d rather celebrate the day with her family. Once, shecomplained to my grandmother about such work. My grandmother was offended and sharplyreplied, “Who else are expecting to do this work?” Then an argument started.
I think my mother just tries to be honest to others, as well as to herself, even if others may
disagree. On the other hand, Japanese people usually don’t speak so frankly, in order not to offend
others. And of course, my grandmother doesn’t like to hear straight comments from a young woman.
When I was small, I couldn’t understand my mother. I thought it was wrong to be different
from others. So I tended to ignore her words and sometimes blamed her and spoke badly to her. I
was also teased some of my classmates because of my mother.
One day I asked my mother about her life. She told me how she felt when she began to livein Japan and how hard it was to get used to living here. After talking with her, I came tounderstand her somewhat and empathized with her. I began to realize that she grew up in adifferent culture ant the trouble we had with her wasn’t caused by her. But it was caused by the gapof the two cultures.
When I complained to her, she would say, “We CAN’T do anything about WHO WE ARE orWHERE WE ARE FROM. People are people, so you should find their good points as well.” At thattime I didn’t care about her words very much. But through meeting and knowing many different
people, I came to understand the meaning very well. Now I KEEP mother’s words in my heart.
Next year, I’m going to Canada to study at high school for one year. What motivated me
was my mother. Thanks to my mother, I learned something about her culture and got interested inother cultures, too. I want to know about many different cultures and many different people while
I’m abroad. I think it’s the best way to broaden my knowledge and experience.
My mother has found her own way of existing between two cultures. I’ve loved my mother,but now, I also respect my mother and want to be a broad-minded person like her.
Thank you for listening.