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The Marrying Kind (Read 1269 times)

Shining Ray
Member

The Marrying Kind
« on: 12.08.2012 at 19:57 [UT+1] »Do you think you can tell from a birth chart who is the marrying kind of woman and who is the type that wants to hold on to her
independence? Are there women who will jump onto an available man and is ready to make a commitment right away. I likebeing in a relationship but don't need a marriage certificate to prove anything, and enjoy my personal space as well. I was
thinking is there some natural conflict with the Moon and Venus in our chart?
Are there astrological types better suited to marriage or even permanent relationships than others? I read that Moon-Neptune
and possibly Venus-Neptune aspects fetch a high price on the market because she can be shaped into any fantasy you want.
I have Moon in Pisces square Neptune by the way and don't mean offence and will try and find the proper quote. Of course
love enters into the equation and should be a priority, but there are women who will take security over love and could pay for itemotionally in the end. Has anybody done that? What do you think? The question can be about men as well.
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Nikki10Ex Member

Re: The Marrying Kind
« Reply #1 - on: 12.08.2012 at 20:10 [UT+1] »i think a better question would be about the type of relationships some people want, i know some people whoare married and still independant, some even live seperate houses but are happily married.
so perhaps its about views of relationships and wants out of relationships.
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IP Logged*-Amy-*
Member

Re: The Marrying Kind
« Reply #2 - on: 12.08.2012 at 21:31 [UT+1] »Nikki is correct.
I have friends who have been in what can be called "open" (or "polyamorous") marriages for decades and arestill together, raising children, etc. Their marriages are strongly non-traditional from the perspective of
marriage meaning long term monogamy.

Posts: 1297
Gender:There are others who have been with their partners for more than a decade, but who have never formally
married in a civil or religious ceremony.
I think the best way to look at this question is, what can a natal chart (and then a progressed chart) show
regarding a person's relationship habits.
For example, if a prospective sweetheart's chart shows that they might not be inclined for long-termmonogamy, they would be better suited to partners who also show the same patterns in their charts.
I also think it's important to take the age of the person and/or what phase of life they're in when determining
whether or not that person is cut out for a more traditional "marriage" vs. a progressive /alternative type of
relationship.
I've been studying my chart for decades. I had a lot of problems with jealousy and insecurity when I wasyounger, and I think this pointed to the influence of G in my chart (in my 8th, close to my 9th, mC and N).
Until I started to work out some of these issues in my mind, I didn't realize my kD in my 7th.
My ND in k is oI in my 4th (not always seeing the other person clearly), but it's pF in my 11th (a free spirit
who would be open to new ideas about relationships).
In the last 15 years or so, I've made quite a few adjustments to my thoughts on what type of relationships areright for me. I figured out that I would be okay with a loving relationship with 1 man, or more than 1 man(provided that everyone was honest an open with one another about the situation). I don't necessarily need tobe "living with" that person - I need plenty of "space" as they say - but what I crave most is a spiritualconnection and/or deep friendship with the other person and not necessarily sharing a household.

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alice b

Ex Member

Re: The Marrying Kind
« Reply #3 - on: 12.08.2012 at 22:00 [UT+1] »I think the old cliche of "women marry when they fall in love and men marry when they are ready to marry" still
carries a lot of weight. I think you can look at a natal and see the placements of the planets and also look atwhat the childhood was like and infer that there will be future problems. If you carry a lot of childhood
baggage, as I did, it is going to take you longer to attract healthy partners. If you didn't have a good rolemodel of marriage from your parents, then you are starting out "blind". I think the other issue is what kind of
marriage are you visualizing. I know I wasted time in my twenties, I am 61 now, on men that were really
incapable or not ready. When I met my partner of 10 years at 40, who is now dead, I was in a totally different
place then when I had been in my twenties and most of my thirties. I had worked out my Saturn, Pluto, andVenus issues can finally was ready for my Sag which was true to who I was with my Gemini Ascendant. He wasgreat fun and one of the best friends I ever had.
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Nikki10Ex Member

Re: The Marrying Kind
« Reply #4 - on: 12.08.2012 at 22:22 [UT+1] »wise words Amdy D and Alice B, i personally had crap relationship role models, so it took me a long time to try
relationships properly DmG in 4th, and DSC in h with nK and uranus means i dont want the 'normal'
relationship.
a real big conflict between sharing and joining in a relationship and retaining my independance, something thathas taken me until the last few years to work it out, and now i am understanding monogomy, which is new too.
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IP Logged*-Amy-*

Member

Re: The Marrying Kind
« Reply #5 - on: 12.08.2012 at 22:34 [UT+1] »Quote from alice b on 12.08.2012 at 22:00 [UT+1]:
I think the old cliche of "women marry when they fall in love and men marry when they are ready to marry" still carries a lot of weight. I
think you can look at a natal and see the placements of the planets and also look at what the childhood was like and infer that there will
be future problems. If you carry a lot of childhood baggage, as I did, it is going to take you longer to attract healthy partners. If you
didn't have a good role model of marriage from your parents, then you are starting out "blind". I think the other issue is what kind of
marriage are you visualizing. I know I wasted time in my twenties, I am 61 now, on men that were really incapable or not ready. When I
met my partner of 10 years at 40, who is now dead, I was in a totally different place then when I had been in my twenties and most of
my thirties. I had worked out my Saturn, Pluto, and Venus issues can finally was ready for my Sag which was true to who I was with myGemini Ascendant. He was great fun and one of the best friends I ever had.

Posts: 1297
Gender:

You bring up a very good point about childhood baggage, and working out issues related to that baggage. I
would say, look at the 4th, 8th, and 12th for "baggage" and any challenging placements in those houses and/or
challenges to the NB and NG.
I think progressed charts are interesting as well, as someone who starts out with a ND in a "free spirit"placement like i or k may see a slight shift, either expanding on or mellowing of that original influence as D
is progressed. (obviously you would look at a PrA and B as well, and see where those progressions fall on N
planets.)
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IP Logged~ LOU15E ~Member

Re: The Marrying Kind
« Reply #6 - on: 12.08.2012 at 22:36 [UT+1] »I'm very commitment phobic. I have been married, back in 1993, which lasted less than three very
lonnnnnnnnnnggg years! I struggle to do relationships tbh and I have a rule that I don't date men from myhome town or even within an hour of where I live. It's just too close for me.
I feel suffocated and I crave my own company more than I do company of other people. I just want a guy who
I could date every other weekend, a couple of phone calls in the week but a good morning and good night text
each day. That would be my perfect relationship.
My ex husband was a control freak and I think that had a big affect on me.
Posts: 14349

I am k B E in the 5th and my a D is in my 7th.
I'm very independent and I hate having to answer to people, being told/dictated to or having to explain myself
to people. If I want to go out, then I don't want to be asking someone if it's ok with them etc.

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Nikki10

Ex Member

Re: The Marrying Kind
« Reply #7 - on: 12.08.2012 at 22:48 [UT+1] »Quote from Amy D on 12.08.2012 at 22:34 [UT+1]:
Quote from alice b on 12.08.2012 at 22:00 [UT+1]:
I think the old cliche of "women marry when they fall in love and men marry when they are ready to marry" still carries alot of weight. I think you can look at a natal and see the placements of the planets and also look at what the childhood
was like and infer that there will be future problems. If you carry a lot of childhood baggage, as I did, it is going to takeyou longer to attract healthy partners. If you didn't have a good role model of marriage from your parents, then you arestarting out "blind". I think the other issue is what kind of marriage are you visualizing. I know I wasted time in mytwenties, I am 61 now, on men that were really incapable or not ready. When I met my partner of 10 years at 40, who is
now dead, I was in a totally different place then when I had been in my twenties and most of my thirties. I had workedout my Saturn, Pluto, and Venus issues can finally was ready for my Sag which was true to who I was with my Gemini
Ascendant. He was great fun and one of the best friends I ever had.

You bring up a very good point about childhood baggage, and working out issues related to that baggage. I would say, look at the 4th, 8th,and 12th for "baggage" and any challenging placements in those houses and/or challenges to the N
and N .

B

D

G

i

k
A

I think progressed charts are interesting as well, as someone who starts out with a N
in a "free spirit" placement likeor
may seea slight shift, either expanding on or mellowing of that original influence as
is progressed. (obviously you would look at a Pr
and

D

B

as well, and see where those progressions fall on N planets.)

yep i agree, i have a packed 8th aspects the 12th too and tons of childhood issues to wade through, i survived
it...only just!
to move forward you need to shed the skin of the past!
i used to be commitment phobic, i feared it, which is literally what it means, to be scared of commitment. I ran
at the first sign of 'us' and 'we', or planning any future events together sent me into chills.
working through the childhood issues, i can understand my fear, now thats gone because i realised commitment
is not about losing you, its about sharing without being swallowed. loving without fearing abandonment ,knowing your strong enough not to lose yourself, and a truly strong man doesnt need to posses you.... he is
happy to hold your hand, and often (in my case) let me lead!
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alice bEx Member

Re: The Marrying Kind
« Reply #8 - on: 12.08.2012 at 23:20 [UT+1] »Louise, I think you could find a lot of guys that want to date a girl or see a girl a couple times a month. I
don't know about all the phone calls and text messages though. Why the need for that?

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Nikki10Ex Member

Re: The Marrying Kind
« Reply #9 - on: 12.08.2012 at 23:44 [UT+1] »Quote from alice b on 12.08.2012 at 23:20 [UT+1]:
Louise, I think you could find a lot of guys that want to date a girl or see a girl a couple times a month. I don't know about all the phone
calls and text messages though. Why the need for that?

isnt that alot of mens fantasy women? especially sporty men would love that
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IP LoggedWaybreadMember

Re: The Marrying Kind
« Reply #10 - on: 13.08.2012 at 06:01 [UT+1] »In chart reading, I would look at the person's 7th house. Even if s/he is single, with the sun or personalplanet/s in the 7th, being in a committed relationship is probably very important to that person.
For polyamory/playing the field, I would look for Venus and Mars (the sexy planets) in a major aspect, thenwith Jupiter in the mix. Jupiter seems to add a touch of, "If a little is good, a lot is better."
Probably progressions are important. People who don't particularly look like the marrying kind from their birthcharts may become so when their 5th or 6th house planets start progressing into the 7th.
But you really have to look at the person's age and culture. Before 1980 in the US, the average age of first
Posts: 14740
Gender:marriage for women was around 20. Women faced enormous social pressure to marry-- and to marrycomparatively young. Same-sex relationships were only just starting to come out of the closet. Today theaverage marriage age for women is around 26-- and 28 for men. Yet today half of all adults are not married
and may never marry-- down from 85% married or previously married in 1960.
I believe that in India, people commonly marry in the early-to-mid-20s, and marriages are often still arranged.
Women and men seem to experience far more pressure to marry than Americans do today.
But astrologically, given the choices so many people have today have, ideally we should be able to pick up thatchoice in a birth chart.
Sometimes you see a "read my chart" request, where the woman asks, "Why am I 40 and still single?" But if
you look at her chart, it's loaded with Aries or Uranus, and she seems so independent that you wonder if shereally wants marriage or simply has been made to feel like an old spinster without it. Or maybe she's got
Cancer rising, with Capricorn on the cusp of the 7th. Then Saturn has a lot to say about her marriageability.
It is probably also useful to consider the attributes that make for a workable married life. Being able to livewith the other person's faults-- and the hope that s/he will do the same for yours, is just huge. Persistence
counts for a lot!

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Carol9thhouse

Member

Re: The Marrying Kind
« Reply #11 - on: 13.08.2012 at 06:41 [UT+1] »I'm not the marrying kind...
I do wonder what it would be like to be asked. Been with my darling for nearly 6 years. I avoided getting
involved with men who had marriage potential.... it took me until 36 to be in relationship and even this isn't 'aproper living together' relationship -seperate homes, seperate lives during the week ( phone and text comms),
together on the weekends - even so, I work Saturday afternoons through to Sunday.
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t- square G nDoE, f pluto in the 7th, Uranus in the 8th. iBq kE

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Keyla
Member

Re: The Marrying Kind
« Reply #12 - on: 13.08.2012 at 08:43 [UT+1] »I think about women charts A is a main indicator for close relationships with men. I am 8th house lA - I
really need to be around a man, not interested in something other than to be with a guy, take care for him,love him and so on....I guess I got some other issues that prevent me from spending my time in other ways.
I had k desc and I do need space in my relationships in general. Not in a relationship with the man I am inlove though.

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IP Logged~ LOU15E ~Member

Re: The Marrying Kind
« Reply #13 - on: 13.08.2012 at 09:10 [UT+1] »Quote from alice b on 12.08.2012 at 23:20 [UT+1]:
Louise, I think you could find a lot of guys that want to date a girl or see a girl a couple times a month. I don't know about all the phone
calls and text messages though. Why the need for that?

I don't think 2 phone calls a week and 2 text messages a day is a lot to ask for Alice. To me it's important
regarding the Good morning and Good night text messages, more than the phone calls.

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If anything happened to him or me during the day (got killed), I would certainly find it difficult to forgive
myself for not contacting him that day. I think that has to do with the fact that I was the last person to see mybrother alive and he went off to watch a game of football and came home in a coffin. I often think about if I
hadn't got up so early on that Saturday morning, I would not have seen him that day and I honestly don't
think I would have ever forgiven myself.

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IP Logged~ LOU15E ~Member

Re: The Marrying Kind
« Reply #14 - on: 13.08.2012 at 09:14 [UT+1] »Quote from Keyla on 13.08.2012 at 08:43 [UT+1]:
I think about women charts

A is a main indicator for close relationships with men. I am 8th house lA - I reallyneed to be around a man, not interested in something other than to be with a guy, take care for him, love him and so on....I guess I got
some other issues that prevent me from spending my time in other ways.
I had

k desc and I do need space in my relationships in general. Not in a relationship with the man I am in love though.

I have b A m G in my 8th and o my k B 5th.
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Elemi66

Ex Member

Re: The Marrying Kind
« Reply #15 - on: 14.08.2012 at 14:16 [UT+1] »Uranus contact to the personals indicate a need for space. I have the venus square plus aquarius on fifth due
to libra rising. Broke up with my second boyfriend due to his possessiveness.
It is terrible to admit but I feel absolutely repulsed by couple dinner parties..I always pick up on the unseen
tensions and just hate the whole dynamic. I used to call it 'the two headed couple beast' but I've grown up
since then.
There is a massive conflict between my saturn and cancerian induced insecurity and my very freedom loving
ninth house stellium, jupiter on mc and venus in gemini.
I have a lot of friends with uranian contacts to venus and then I complain about their inaccessiblity ...but ifanyone pressures me to be around I feel uncomfortable.
You do get discriminated against as a single....even when I've been on holiday with a good female friend it has
been assumed that we're lesbians. The default relationship when you're older is meant to be romantic.
However I have just been away for a few days on my own and was heartened to see B and B I was in had
groups of friends, two male friends (not gay, I'm nifty with that body language) as well as couples.
People do do marriage in different ways. And polyamory is so much more honest than sneaky cheating which
often comes out anyway...of course, you can't be 'free and easy' with kids: you have to be there for them.
About that I'm a hardcore conservative.
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Carls mate
Ex Member

Re: The Marrying Kind
« Reply #16 - on: 14.08.2012 at 18:33 [UT+1] »Natally, I have g A in ninth, p B c in fifth, sextile O i in eleventh and p F k. I also have D m E as the
apex planets in a T square squared by Moon Chiron conjunction on one end and Uranus Sag on the other. No
wonder I don't want to marry.
However, my progressed Sun is conjunct progressed Juno. So what to make of that?
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rookishMember

Re: The Marrying Kind
« Reply #17 - on: 14.08.2012 at 18:51 [UT+1] »I think I am, not so much the 'marrying' kind, it's not the words of my generation, but certainly someone thatwas likely to be a partner and to commit to that partnership. g Asc, BmD (wide), AmmG k, 4h emphasis,
fixed sign emphasis. Personal planets in the right hemisphere, Kd. And this despite a whole load of kemphasis - I certainly need personal freedom and independence, but I operate well within a partnership, I don't
see restriction, I see benefits - but making the right choice I guess matters, husband has same needs Ai, F
rising. Da I did tend to be able to commit quickly, assuredly and easily. Any wavering on his part would be adeath knell to the relationship. I have been with my husband for 20 years, we have been married for 10 of
those years.
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Tabula Rasa
Ex Member

Re: The Marrying Kind
« Reply #18 - on: 15.08.2012 at 07:38 [UT+1] »Quote from Shining Ray on 12.08.2012 at 19:57 [UT+1]:

Do you think you can tell from a birth chart who is the marrying kind of woman and who is the type that wants tohold on to her independence? Are there women who will jump onto an available man and is ready to make acommitment right away. I like being in a relationship but don't need a marriage certificate to prove anything, andenjoy my personal space as well. I was thinking is there some natural conflict with the Moon and Venus in ourchart?
Are there astrological types better suited to marriage or even permanent relationships than others? I read that
Moon-Neptune and possibly Venus-Neptune aspects fetch a high price on the market because she can beshaped into any fantasy you want. I have Moon in Pisces square Neptune by the way and don't mean offence
and will try and find the proper quote. Of course love enters into the equation and should be a priority, but there
are women who will take security over love and could pay for it emotionally in the end. Has anybody done that?
What do you think? The question can be about men as well.

I have been told by some that according to my chart I should be interested in relationships but I am not. I
have fE in 5th, 7 planets in 6th (4 in g and 3 in h) and DmI i in 7th. I'm 30 and I have never been in a
relationship. I prefer solitude to company because people drain me and I very easily feel suffocated. EoO, Oq
MC.
I don't feel I believe in the magic of falling in love. I think it's more like programmed chemicals in the brainthat makes us blind and stupid so we will procreate. It's more like an ugly disease than a beautiful thing.
When I hear women say that they need a man in their life it's like the most horrible thing I have ever heard.
No offense meant. I just don't get it.
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Nikki10Ex Member

Re: The Marrying Kind
« Reply #19 - on: 15.08.2012 at 09:58 [UT+1] »Tabula, your chart would be interesting because it seems you decided to become an island rather then take therisk of falling in love, You opted out of any relationships because you are to sure how they work and how tohandle them, but you can control you, so you do.
I can only understand because I am former island
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IP Logged*-Amy-*
Member

Re: The Marrying Kind
« Reply #20 - on: 15.08.2012 at 17:47 [UT+1] »To add to one of my previous posts.. I just noticed that T O is within 2 deg of my PrD in a (which is sitting
between my NA NE at the moment).
I'm definitely in that same camp as Louise with regard to what I want from relationships at this stage in mylife.
I think I struggled during the time when my PrD was in l, and my ND had a lot of troubles with T I
in k.
Posts: 1297
Gender:I am still an old romantic at heart, but my idea of a romantic relationship and/or commitment is being withsomeone who I can talk to for hours, whether it's online, on the phone, or via skype. We don't necessarily haveto be in each other's space - to that end I'd be fine with dating someone in sales who travels a lot, aresearcher/scholar, musician, etc.
There was this tv show in the US called "CSI: Crime Scene Investigation". There was a married couple on thisshow that had an unconventional relationship. The husband was a scientific researcher who traveled around theworld, the wife was one of the criminologists. They were frequently thousands of miles apart, but yet were still"married".
To that end, I wonder what impact T O and T J is going to have on ND in cardinal signs - if it's going to"shake up" their ideas about what a traditional marriage and/or relationship is like - leading to wider culturalshifts in what makes a marriage.

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Nikki10

Ex Member

Re: The Marrying Kind
« Reply #21 - on: 16.08.2012 at 11:26 [UT+1] »Amy d, do you think you would want want to have a partner around if you were raising a family (I don't know if
you have children or not)?
Reason I ask it that I think comimtment is determined by a couple and there are no real rules except what you
create! Stages of life can change those requirements, I noticed in my 20s I quite liked them to be away because
I could focus on my work, social life, and myself more, but even my early 30s that was fine, but now I want toraise a family I wouldn't like to carry all of that myself (if the family broke up that's a different story, I could
manage alone) , I would want someone to share the day to day duties and drudgery, and the joy.
When I had raised them and they left the nest, I could see myself not being bothered if they wanted to work
away etc.I I worked with lots of men that worked away during the week and were at home at the weekend, andmany had small children, but they had fun they went bowling together, night out, then played families at theweekend. This is the old fashioned way that some families were, and I see that coming back again
So how important are life stages in what we look for in a partner and commitment?
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IP Loggedsewit
Ex Member

Re: The Marrying Kind
« Reply #22 - on: 16.08.2012 at 13:05 [UT+1] »Quote from ~ Louise ~ on 12.08.2012 at 22:36 [UT+1]:
I'm very commitment phobic. I have been married, back in 1993, which lasted less than three very lonnnnnnnnnnggg years! I struggle to
do relationships tbh and I have a rule that I don't date men from my home town or even within an hour of where I live. It's just too close
for me.
I feel suffocated and I crave my own company more than I do company of other people. I just want a guy who I could date every otherweekend, a couple of phone calls in the week but a good morning and good night text each day. That would be my perfect relationship.
My ex husband was a control freak and I think that had a big affect on me.
I am

k B E in the 5th and my a D is in my 7th.

I'm very independent and I hate having to answer to people, being told/dictated to or having to explain myself to people. If I want togo out, then I don't want to be asking someone if it's ok with them etc.

I have to say Lou that this is something I havenever even thought about. i have always held that what is goodfor the goose is good for the gander and always wnet out if I wanted to and gave my hubby notice that I was
gingout and gave him the oxcrtes of saying where I was going and who with.

BEGd 4thIFg7th
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IP Logged*-Amy-*

Member

Re: The Marrying Kind
« Reply #23 - on: 16.08.2012 at 22:53 [UT+1] »Quote from Nikki10 on 16.08.2012 at 11:26 [UT+1]:
Amy d, do you think you would want want to have a partner around if you were raising a family (I don't know if you have children ornot)?
Reason I ask it that I think comimtment is determined by a couple and there are no real rules except what you create! Stages of life canchange those requirements, I noticed in my 20s I quite liked them to be away because I could focus on my work, social life, and myself
more, but even my early 30s that was fine, but now I want to raise a family I wouldn't like to carry all of that myself (if the family brokeup that's a different story, I could manage alone) , I would want someone to share the day to day duties and drudgery, and the joy.
When I had raised them and they left the nest, I could see myself not being bothered if they wanted to work away etc.I I worked with lots

Posts: 1297
Gender:of men that worked away during the week and were at home at the weekend, and many had small children, but they had fun they went
bowling together, night out, then played families at the weekend. This is the old fashioned way that some families were, and I see thatcoming back again
So how important are life stages in what we look for in a partner and commitment?

Oh I think looking at life stages is crucial, and it's why I mentioned looking at progressions.
I never had children (and I'm more or less too old now to do so).
Never really tried to get pregnant (i.e. took steps not to) because I never felt secure enough in eachrelationship and/or had enough faith in my partner that (he) would be a good father, and I knew that I was not
cut out to be a single mother.
needing to be in control.

Perhaps it's single-mindness, selfishness, or maybe just an undercurrent of

In my opinion, when you're responsible for taking care of another being aside from yourself - all bets are off(i.e. the child comes first).
My career was also very much in flux for many years, and something that is strongly hardwired in me is never
get oneself into a position where you have to depend on others (or the govt.) for support (I blame NOJm in
my 2nd for that stubborn belief)With all that said, if I were to find a steady partner that I was content enough to live with I would consider
adopting an older child, but I have my doubts that this is in my karmic path for this particular lifetime. I havenieces and nephews in my life now who are an awesome source of feeding that desire to be a meaningful part ofa child's life.

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melekusha
Member

Re: The Marrying Kind
« Reply #24 - on: 17.08.2012 at 02:35 [UT+1] »Quote:
I read that Moon-Neptune and possibly Venus-Neptune aspects fetch a high price on the market because she can be shaped into any
fantasy you want.

Posts: 2425
Gender:interesting that you say that im BoI and been offered marriage
every time........ yet im not the Marrying Kind LOL
Most of my Man have mother issues.......and for most of themi had to play the unconditional love acceptance role
Yak not my cup of tea no longer......
im rebelling everything there is to a marriage instituteand want to adopt the most ugliest child on earth
to prove that it can be loved like i gave birth to it
just thinking about it..(underT JpB).......will see what will come out of it......
i will probably want to get married when very old and very sure in my mate
and right before im about to die....... maybe.......
Yes I love my self........but not much more then my mates Love them self
it is all conditional........ you know

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Shre99

Member

Re: The Marrying Kind
« Reply #25 - on: 17.08.2012 at 10:50 [UT+1] »I'm a woman who has never married and am now 45.
I have a Grand Water Trine including Jupiter in Cancer in 4th house (I love my home and being a Mum);
Neptune in Scorpio in my 8th house; and Saturn in Pisces in my 12th house (along with my Pisces stellium).
Posts: 59

I also have Venus in Aries at the very end of my 12th house and conjunct my Ascendant and trine my
Sagittarius Moon. I have Peregrine Mars in Scorpio in my 7th house. I think that these placements particularly
indicate a vehement kind of independence. When combined with my Grand Water Trine, which indicatesemotional self sufficiency, and my 12th house Pisces stellium, it all adds up to me being quite happy on myown.
I agree with others that I would like a relationship that just involves an occasional weekend and some phone
calls, as long as the weekends were really special. I think that I find the intensity of a one on one domestic
relationship quite overwhelming.
Sre99

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mean machine
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Re: The Marrying Kind
« Reply #26 - on: 17.08.2012 at 12:32 [UT+1] »I suppose these things are not easily to be seen in astrology. Perhaps there´s something generational too,them born in the 40,50 and early 60 are more of "the marrying kind" than those born in the 70´s? At least I´mnot that kind and as you say like attracts like and most of my female friends or male lovers are not themarrying kind.
Posts: 381

My brother and his ex-wife and also a friend of mine married because they wanted the ceremony and a child tobe born in matrimony. My brother´s marriage did not last 5 years and my friend is not happy in her marriage it
has now lasted 4 years. All of them married at around age 35. And oh, I forgot all different horoscopes
I also think in the region I live marriage is not "pop" along many aged 30-50. And many want it only as aceremony - not religious but material and that again makes others rebel against the whole thing.
I actually was in a relationship with a man who always said he preferred open relationships, even poly-such, not
all these phone calls and texting etc. I learned to appreciate his point and like the whole thing. GUESS what
he did - he then dumped me and got into a marriage-like relationship with someone with serious control issues.
Calling an texting all the time, calling the adult mans mother/brother to control. And always planning theirschedules ahead, arguing about dating. He and the woman are very j. Think my j brother has a little bit of
the same problem, not wanting to commit but then gets commited to his mobile. Such things makes mewanna puke. With this guy we really had some great times together when it suited us and forgot about
everything else for a while, there was only us. I mean what could be worse than having a dispute over what andwhen to do something with someone you are supposed to love? If the energy of the universe is not on yourside no technical device or discussions, involvement of other family members to support either one will help.
I have EkpO which makes me a freesoul. I would marry if I was really in love and really trusted the man, atleast at that moment and he´d really wanted and felt the same. Meaning I have nothing against the institution
if it´s based on free will and true love. But I´ve seen far to many bad marriages and divorces to know it´s nosolution, quite the contrary.

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Lindac7

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Re: The Marrying Kind
« Reply #27 - on: 17.08.2012 at 13:27 [UT+1] »After reading Amy D's comments:"I never had children (and I'm more or less too old now to do so).
Never really tried to get pregnant (i.e. took steps not to) because I never felt secure enough in eachrelationship and/or had enough faith in my partner that (he) would be a good father, and I knew that I was not
cut out to be a single mother."That quote above describes me exactly.
Like Shre99 said,
Posts: 2029
Gender:"I find the intensity of a one on one domestic relationship quite overwhelming."
Yep, I do, too. It's just too much for me.
The odd thing is, I'm a Libra, with 4 planets in Libra (all in conjunction, no less), and with Scorpio rising, so
you'd think I'd be the perfect marrying kind.
A few things throw major wrenches into that theory.
1. All my Libra planets are in the 12th house (needing alone time BIG time).
2. Venus and Saturn are conjunct in my 2nd house Sagittarius (freedom loving).
3. My Moon is in Gemini in the 8th house, trine my Libra Sun in the 12th (not the best Moon placement for a
lifelong, monogamous relationship!).
4. Uranus is conjunct my Leo MC (love my independence!).
5. Chiron is conjunct my Aquarius IC (wounded and unconventional home).
6. An astrologer once told me that the opposition between Chiron and Uranus, sitting squarely on my MC/IC
line, completely dominates my chart (regardless of my Libra stellium in the 12th), and explains my lifetime
struggle at finding a home and a career. He also said it could be interpreted in reverse (as if Chiron is on the
MC and Uranus is on the IC).
I've actually tried marriage more times than I care to admit, but they never worked out because I couldn't
stand the insecurity, immaturity and possessiveness of my partners. I also couldn't stand having to answer tosomeone else all the time.
I've said for years that I think my ideal relationship with a man would be one where we live separately (mealone), and we see each other 2 or 3 times a week (or whatever we work out that's best for us).
I do WANT monogamy (and I've always been monogamous) when I'm in love and feel this person fits me
incredibly well, but finding that really excellent fit has been nearly impossible. However once the cracks in therelationship start to show, it's only a matter of time before it comes to an end. With my accumulated
education on relationships and communication, I haven't found a man who can deal with me on my level.
Therefore, I've recently concluded (within the past 3 years or so) that I would be better off NOT aiming forliving together EVER, whether that includes a legal marriage or not. I'm also finally open to the possibility ofan open relationship (polyamorous), because my knowledge of relationships and marriage in particular has
made me realize how incredibly hard it is for any of us to find just the right partner that we both can bemonogamous with and happy with for an entire lifetime. Personally, I think it's an unrealistic expectation.
I'm actually very happy having 2 or more lovers. It fits my needs better.
I think the traditional, standard expectations of marriage (especially when adding in the romantic aspect of it)
are just far beyond what most of us are capable of actually finding, much less spending our lifetime living it.
I also think that's just as true today even with so many more potential partners available through online
dating. The odds of finding just the right person don't seem to have really gotten any better. I'm living proofof that.

That's beside the fact that at my age (54), finding a perfect fit is nearly impossible anyway.

I really believe that most people get married only because it's an expected part of our social mores, and not
because we really want that. If more of us were more honest with ourselves and true to ourselves, and had
more inner strength to stand alone, we'd realize it's not the best answer for us.
It's too bad the pressures of society make it so difficult for some of us to create our own lives the way we reallywant them to be, free of judgement from others as if there's something wrong with us for not fitting the mold.
P.S. Two more astrological indicators for me are 1) my Venus is trine Uranus, and 2) my Venus is square Pluto.
Taking all of these aspects in my chart into consideration, I almost feel like I'm the astrological poster person
for someone who is NOT suited for marriage.
*sigh* No wonder I've been beating my head against a brick wall my entire life, now that I finally understandmy chart much better.

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Ela ElaEx Member

Re: The Marrying Kind
« Reply #28 - on: 17.08.2012 at 18:30 [UT+1] »In my opinion marriage is necessary only when the couple wants to have a baby.

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hellomoon

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Re: The Marrying Kind
« Reply #29 - on: 17.08.2012 at 21:49 [UT+1] »DmI, I am not the marrying kind especially with my B in k.

Too romantic for marriage.

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PlutotrineMars
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Re: The Marrying Kind
« Reply #30 - on: 18.08.2012 at 01:55 [UT+1] »Quote from Shining Ray on 12.08.2012 at 19:57 [UT+1]:

Posts: 1948
Gender:Do you think you can tell from a birth chart who is the marrying kind of woman and who is the type that wants tohold on to her independence? Are there women who will jump onto an available man and is ready to make acommitment right away. I like being in a relationship but don't need a marriage certificate to prove anything, andenjoy my personal space as well. I was thinking is there some natural conflict with the Moon and Venus in ourchart?
Are there astrological types better suited to marriage or even permanent relationships than others? I read that
Moon-Neptune and possibly Venus-Neptune aspects fetch a high price on the market because she can beshaped into any fantasy you want. I have Moon in Pisces square Neptune by the way and don't mean offence
and will try and find the proper quote. Of course love enters into the equation and should be a priority, but there
are women who will take security over love and could pay for it emotionally in the end. Has anybody done that?
What do you think? The question can be about men as well.

Hmm I yo-yo to both extremes. I grew up very independent and became independent at a very young age. It
is something that I value. However, I ended up in a relationship and with in-laws that are very co-dependent- I
don't think the in-laws even understand that a woman is capable of being independent (or their son- who they
still deem a baby), so kind of a struggle for me
I have D in k so I have always favored unconventional men and relationships, and I can get tired of the same
person, but I'm also a Capricorn with strong Saturn so I'm also steadfast and loyal. Kind of a paradox. I have

DoG so have always had somewhat low self-esteem, especially when I was younger and starting out in thedating field. I never felt like I would be ever be 'one of those girls' who deserved a man to love thembecause I felt awkward and rejected by my father and my family. I entered a karmic relationship when I was 22
and learned that wasn't the case, but there was rejection there too.. and as soon as I found someone whowanted to be loyal to me I wanted to hold on him forever. But I have that part inside of me that wants to beunconventional and independent as well. Luckily my partner lets me express this part of my personality,
artistically at least.
Even now that we are planning on getting married I don't want a conventional wedding. I feel like I don't
deserve it- like it's so obviously narcissistic, plus I fear that I will have no family to represent me. Back tofeeling like I will never be one of 'those girls'
I also have B in a which is very unconventional when it comes to feminine attitudes, however, it's in the 2nd
house, which values financial and emotional security.
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kellbell88

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Re: The Marrying Kind
« Reply #31 - on: 19.08.2012 at 05:40 [UT+1] »Am I going to be the first woman on here to say I'm the marrying kind? Under the age of 25? Haha.
Maybe it's not necessarily the certificate of marriage, but I have a strong 4th house and my need to have ahome and a sense of comfort in any relationship is very important. I would love to share my life with someone
and enjoy the mundane things together like grocery shopping and "running house" if you will.
Though, along with the generational comments, I do know that I am still very much learning about exactly
what I want and who I want. I am with a man now, 15 years my senior, for over 3 years who has never married
and had no intentions of marrying until we had a serious discussion about it. He understands I'm still
discovering myself - but yet we have found that comfort with each other that we both seek.

Posts: 2319
Gender:As for aspects My 7th house - ruled by e contains my B more specifically in f. 5th house - ruled by C contains DC dN.. My A is in c in the 4th house - ruled by b.
I have a kite between my 7th fB, 9th hJ , 3rd bF and 11th jI .... three oppositions from the 11th to
5th house between CDN in the 5th and OGI in the 11th.
Just an overview! haha.. k ASC by the way. Juno is also in my 4th house - m my A.

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Waybread
Member

Re: The Marrying Kind
« Reply #32 - on: 19.08.2012 at 06:21 [UT+1] »For sure, people should do what feels right to them so far as marriage and ongoing relationships are concerned.
But for a different perspective..... I was married for 20 years with my ex husband, and now for 15 years andcounting with my husband. I have two adult children from my first marriage. Both marriages have been
completely monogamous.
Sure, there are major disagreements (not to mention screaming matches) and control issues from time totime. I could list my husband's considerable flaws, but then I'm not perfect, either.

Posts: 14740
Gender:So just to offer a different perspective, I find marriage simplifies my life. It was hard being a single mom. Not
only did I have to do everything myself, but there was no one at home at the end of the day to have an adultconversation with. To me being married is often like having an extention of myself. I have also learned a hugeamount from my husband.
My husband is about 9.5 years older than I am, so our nodal axes are reversed and conjunct. This seems like apowerful combination for learning life lessons.
We've had some serious, serious problems but we have never given up on one another. Right now we're in amode of taking a morning pledge to be kind, happy, and to limit our alcohol consumption. Our secret to a
constructive relationship seems to be to develop a set of good habits.
Our suns are trined to the degree, both in air signs. I need a fair bit of time to myself and emotional space,and my husband is more or less the same way. Although our Mars-Venus chemistry is good, we've settled into apattern of being best and closest friends.
I have no 7th house planets, unless I use a whole signs method. I do have the P of F in the 7th, but that's
about it.

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rookishMember

Re: The Marrying Kind
« Reply #33 - on: 19.08.2012 at 12:57 [UT+1] »Quote from Waybread on 19.08.2012 at 06:21 [UT+1]:

So just to offer a different perspective, I find marriage simplifies my life. It was hard being a single mom. Not only did I
have to do everything myself, but there was no one at home at the end of the day to have an adult conversation with. To me being

married is often like having an extention of myself. I have also learned a huge amount from my husband.

Posts: 3675

I like the way you say thatand it makes sense to me. I have been monogamous in all my relationships andso have my partners. At its simplest, I don't think I could cope with more than one significant relationship at atime - simplicity is best for me. And that extension of self requires trust - you have to be able to make that
leap. We are on the same side at the end of the day. Do you know where your composite A is for these
relationships? For my husband we have 5h whcih is fun, but is also about being able to creatively construct methrough being we.
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Ceto*
Member

Re: The Marrying Kind
« Reply #34 - on: 19.08.2012 at 14:49 [UT+1] »Hi Shinning Ray and All
Looking at my own chart and some of my friends who are not married, we all have G in the 7th oO in 10th or
11th, thats 4 of us around the same age, mid-30,s. The others also have O prominent, usually in conflict to F
or entwined with their personnel planets.
All of us are unconventional(some more obvious than others, male and female), restless souls and surprisingly
very pragmatic and realistic. Very different to my married friends, who have the gift of compromise and canmore easily accept another soul into themselves completely!!
Posts: 1458

Outside of convention, marriage does not make sense to me, it makes me feel like I can't breathe.

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zippyMember

Re: The Marrying Kind
« Reply #35 - on: 19.08.2012 at 18:12 [UT+1] »Some really interesting answers.
I have a lot of hard Uranus aspects in my chart, stayed married for 15 years, but married because I was
pregnant. Only three times in my life I've considered marrying (I'm 54). I am currently in a live inPosts: 8143

relationship that I would consider marriage. At the same time I have to have my own security, my own money,
my own house... I can not and will not allow myself to be dependent on another. Ever. I have a strong 2nd
house. As mentioned, having a desire for kids is a marriage indicator. And (I think mentioned) early childhoodrole modes. For me I did not have good 'role models', I'm the only one of 4 kids to marry, the only one tohave a child. So 4th house as well as 5th/7th might be important to look for; although I do 'like' to be
married, or at least be in a live in relationship and my early childhood was pretty poor. Btw, 5th and 7th
untenated; Jupiter trines my 5th house cusp, Uranus opposed it and my 5th is ruled by Uranus. Ruler of 7th
conjunct Jupiter in the 1st.
I was looking at Astro DataBank as well as my own personal charts and am seeing a lot of 5th house activity
and lots with either personal planets and/or Jupiter and with soft aspects in charts with multiple marriages. It
seems that people I've known with a high sex drive also have a lot of activity in the 5th, some with lots of kids,
but all (so far) with at least one child. I'm still looking at charts with a 12th and 7th house chart emphasis...
I also wonder about people that stay in a 'bad' marriage for so many years, but I suppose that's another can ofworms for another day.

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Mockblumen
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Re: The Marrying Kind
« Reply #36 - on: 26.08.2012 at 16:44 [UT+1] »Waybread pointed out the Uranus/Aries independence and Saturn in 7th, which I all have.
I also have Mars square Venus - conflict - throw in the rag.

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Akvelina Ostergaard

Ex Member

Re: The Marrying Kind
« Reply #37 - on: 26.08.2012 at 18:42 [UT+1] »I'm another of the "not marrying kind" but my response to that is that I find the traditional marriage
partnership way too stifling. In fact, I find the fairly permanent, monogamous traditional partnership way too
stifling. I've noticed every time I'm in a relationship I somehow become "less" even if the other person is not
actually possessive or constricting. I just lose my creativity, my freedom, my room to breathe and think, to be
as I am. Other kinds of partnerships are extremely important to me though, especially friendships and work
relationships. I sometimes wish I could be "married" to my community, to forever have a relationship with ittill I die (which tends to bring me into an active position in the public eye and I like to volunteer).
It would then probably be no surprise to find that my most exact aspect is my 5th house fD o my 7th house

iO. I also have Aquarius on the 11th cusp. I can totally see how these would play out the way they have. I
also have Scorpio on my 7th cusp and 2 planets in that sign and I know Scorpio can be all or nothing.
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IP LoggedramezEx Member

Re: The Marrying Kind
« Reply #38 - on: 28.08.2012 at 12:03 [UT+1] »Quote from Keyla on 13.08.2012 at 08:43 [UT+1]:
I think about women charts

A is a main indicator for close relationships with men. I am 8th house lA - I really need to be around aman, not interested in something other than to be with a guy, take care for him, love him and so on....I guess I got some other issues
that prevent me from spending my time in other ways.
I had

k desc and I do need space in my relationships in general. Not in a relationship with the man I am in love though.

Hey, Keyla, here's another H8lA, e ASC/k DESC. I was raised with the attitude that women are strong, we
don't need a man to make us happy. I entered a serious rship when I was 33. Before that I had no desire to livewith someone. I didn't even believe I could, or rather someone would be interested in me as a marriage
partner. It's still hard to believe I'm for marriage. Actually I've been living with my partner for 8 years and weare still not married. I don't think we ever will be.
My issues with my self-worth date back to childhood. But then the whole history of my family is mirrored in mylife, I can understand where their attutudes come from. And I have O on my IC.
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Keyla

Member

Re: The Marrying Kind
« Reply #39 - on: 29.08.2012 at 07:23 [UT+1] »I have O in 4th aswell. My shildhood was a mess. I have changed houses 3 times, and 3 times every year
traveling long distance for spending time with my dad for school breaks. I have to cope with his new family,
with my mom's second husband, with her second divorce...Probably this would be good for someone fixed, Iam mutable AB and I was overwhelmed. Not able to find ME, always have to fit somewhere and to someone
new.

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cloverMember

Re: The Marrying Kind
« Reply #40 - on: 29.08.2012 at 22:55 [UT+1] »Quote from alice b on 12.08.2012 at 22:00 [UT+1]:
I think the old cliche of "women marry when they fall in love and men marry when they are ready to marry" still carries a lot of weight. I
think you can look at a natal and see the placements of the planets and also look at what the childhood was like and infer that there will
be future problems. If you carry a lot of childhood baggage, as I did, it is going to take you longer to attract healthy partners. If you
didn't have a good role model of marriage from your parents, then you are starting out "blind". I think the other issue is what kind of

Posts: 705
Gender:marriage are you visualizing. I know I wasted time in my twenties, I am 61 now, on men that were really incapable or not ready. When I
met my partner of 10 years at 40, who is now dead, I was in a totally different place then when I had been in my twenties and most of
my thirties. I had worked out my Saturn, Pluto, and Venus issues can finally was ready for my Sag which was true to who I was with myGemini Ascendant. He was great fun and one of the best friends I ever had.

alice, I always try to take a page out of your book and see if it fits into mine since there are a a lot of things
about our charts which are similar
I'm currently doing yet another re-write at the moment so my views are a
bit wavy-gravy >>> identity crisis deluxe version.
I've never been married, never even been asked and I'm 36 and have had plenty of relationships as well as timealone. I value both.
I do value an intimate relationship very highly, however, and I do enjoy living with the man I am in love with,although I don't care if we're married or not. I have been contemplating my chart recently and wondering if I
would actually get along with a Sag since I also have a Gem ASC but I have yet to find a Sag who I findsexually appealing. Always end up with a man who has a Sag ASC or Sag Mercury (which I really enjoy).
I have Neptune in the 7th so obviously that's a big problemo

Ruler of the 7th is Jupiter in the 12th which

conjuncts Moon. Sun/Venus (jn 2nd) square Pluto (5th) and trine Uranus (6th) so intense is a must for me but
layered with independence/interdependance. Saturn in my 3rd conjunct my IC is part of my baggage worthiness, etc. and then add to that Moon in the 12th square Mars in 4th - more baggage, but at least I've
claimed it
So I'm not sure about marriage. Or even a life long partner. I always believed this is what I wanted but since it
hasn't occurred it has behooved me to look in to why and see if what I want is what I actually want.
I should add here that having PTSD really throws a wrench into my desires of living with a person. It's not aneasy thing for anyone and that includes partners of people with PTSD. So maybe it's not really fair to consider
marriage? (Or maybe that's just my Saturn talking.)
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Re: The Marrying Kind
« Reply #41 - on: 01.09.2012 at 05:52 [UT+1] »I would never recommend that people marry who didn't find it right for them personally.
But there is a plus side to marriage that has little to do with societal expectations and the like; which arenowadays tilting more towards living-together than marriage.
The irony, of course, is that people who live together for three or more years in many jurisdictions are solidly
married **common-law** regardless of whether they get the "piece of paper" from a JP or a church, or not.
I've been married twice, for a grand total of 35+ years.
Posts: 14740
Gender:I think marriage can give you a kind of extended self. I don't mean this as taking one's spouse for granted.
For a marriage to work, it requires not taking one's spouse for granted. In many ways, marriage is so much
more efficient than being single. I was a single mother briefly, and I found that to be really, really hard,because I had to do all of the adult things with our little family completely by myself.
To me marriage isn't about another person controlling me, although certainly that happens. And vice versa.
Getting along truly with another person requires a huge amount of discipline. The notion of a religious orphilosophical discipline is not so far off the mark. Marriage is not only 50-50, it has to be more than 50-50.
I write this after just having snapped at my husband this evening! And after just having had a really super day
together.

Marriage has its ups and downs, to be sure. But so does the rest of life. It's no different.

Love? Oh, for sure. But after a while, I think it takes on more of the nature of living with one's best friend.
BTW, I am a pretty Uranian person. If you're an air or a fire sign, you need someone who respects your needfor space because s/he also needs it, as well.
I probably would go crazy married to a hyper-Cancer or Scorpio.
Clover, I have a mild case of PTSD, and I haven't found it to interfere with my relationships. It kicks insometimes under conditions of extreme stress, but so far these haven't been relationship-related.
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zippyMember

Re: The Marrying Kind
« Reply #42 - on: 01.09.2012 at 18:07 [UT+1] »I have a bit of PTSD also and haven't had it really interfere. I've also had relationships with fellow PTSD-ers

Posts: 8143

with success. I really agree with the above though. Marriage, whether 'common law' or not is work andcompromise, give and take, and each must give more than 50-50. I do believe the power of two is stronger
than the power of one. I've almost always had much more solid finances, nicer home surroundings andgenerally happier in most every aspect of my life (including sexually) when in a live together relationship. Even
though I've always been able to provide for myself and family without a man. Uranus is strong in my chart.
Quote:
But after a while, I think it takes on more of the nature of living with one's best friend.

I totally agree.
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