RESEARCH PAPER
In the Midst of Emotion and Identity:
Investigating Trajectories of Learners’
Self-Esteem From Psychological andSociocultural Perspectives
Ryo Moriya, Waseda University
Ami Ishizuka, LITALICO Inc.
Among the myriad components of identity, self-esteem, defined as our overall evaluation of ourselves, is indispensable for identity construction. The research reported in this article regards self-esteem as the mid point
between emotions and identities, and features, from both psychological and sociocultural perspectives, students’retrospective changes of self-esteem by investigating multiple data sets. Participants were 43 non-English-major
university students, and the data sets included two types of questionnaires (i.e., close- and open-ended) and, formost students, semi-structured interviews. In the analyses of different data in an exploratory manner, the findings
are summarized as follows: a) students’ gap between their current situation and their purposes of learning English
contributed to their low self-esteem, b) their self-esteem and emotions emerged from ongoing situations mutually
influencing each other, and c) how they make sense of “bad” events influences subsequent processes that leadto an increase or decrease in self-esteem. Grounded on two different perspectives (i.e., psychological and sociocultural), the study sheds light on, both dynamic and complex aspects of self-esteem. In the final section of thepaper, we conclude by discussing the importance of students’ meaning-making strategies relevant to self-esteem
experienced and accumulated from diverse contexts.
言語学習者にとって自分が何者であるかという問い、すなわちアイデンティティーの確立は重要である。アイデンティティーを構成する要素のうち自分自身を評価し、価値ある存在であると認識する自尊感情はとりわけ欠かせない要素である。本研究では自尊感情を感情とアイデ
ンティティーの中間と見なし、心理的・社会文化的観点から複数のデータを用いて学習者の自尊感情が過去からどのように変化してきたのかを調査した。英語を専攻としない大学生43名が参加し2種類のアンケート（選択式および記述式）、また殆どの参加者には半構造化イン
タビューも行った。異なるデータを探索的に分析した結果、ａ）現状と学習目標に於けるギャップが低い自尊感情に繋がること、 ｂ）
自尊感
情と眼前の状況から生じる感情が相互に影響し合っていること、ｃ）「悪い」出来事に対してそれをどう意味づけるかが一連のプロセスとして自尊感情の高低に関わってくることが明らかになった。心理的・社会文化的観点という双方の異なる立場から自尊感情に着目することで、本研究は自尊感情の動的かつ複雑な両側面に光を当てたものとなっている。また、自尊感情に関連して、学習者が積み重ねてきた多様な文脈からの経験をどう意味づけるかというストラテジーの重要性についても最終的には論じている。

Keywords
self-esteem, psychological and sociocultural approaches, mixed methods, meaning-making, emotions and identities

キーワード
自尊感情、心理的・社会文化的アプローチ、混合研究法、意味づけ、感情とアイデンティティー“

I don’t think I can learn English because I’ve tried so many times.” “There’s no point intrying, because I’m not smart.” “Nothing went well, so I’m at a loss about what to do.”
These heartrending voices, many participants’ unburdening their heart during interviews,
make make us (Ryo and Ami) pitiful because they belittled themselves, even though not being
able to learn languages well never means they can do nothing. To make matters worse, suchself-degradation eventually leads to self-denial, or identity crisis. In this connection, “Whoam I?” is one of the most challenging questions that we may ask ourselves. One possible an-

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Ryo Moriya & Ami Ishizuka

swer to this question is “I am who I am because I am not you,” (Kumaravadivelu, 2012, p. 10).
What we choose to share with others helps to define our identities. We take the position that
identity consists of multidimensional components and depending on which components are
expressed, we consciously or unconsciously create several identities that coexist kaleidoscopically; the constellation of shapes and colors change, mutually creating different patterns andinterrelationships.
Among the myriad components of identity, self-esteem should be investigated for two
reasons. First, from the learner’s side, self-esteem closely relates to identity formation because it can be understood as “the evaluative aspect of the self-concept, rated on a person’s
own high-low scale” (Oxford, Cohen, & Simmons, 2018, p. 301). In other words, self-esteem
can reflect how we perceive and value ourselves. Second, from the researcher’s side, Pavlenko(2013) partly welcomes the growing interests in investigating affective factors in SLA, a socalled “affective turn,” but states that many studies tend to focus on labeling variables themselves, not how they work. For example, emotion, regarded as one of the important constructs
of identity, has long been ignored partly due to difficulties in defining and measuring it (c.f.
Swain, 2013). In fact, however, emotions are indispensable for identity construction (seeMiyahara, 2015), and through the lens of self-esteem, learners evaluate their own emotions
that emerge from various life events (c.f. Williams, Mercer, & Ryan, 2015). Considering thesevarious mental constructs, self-esteem can be regarded as a mid point between emotions andidentities. In this study, therefore, we focus on the relationship between self-esteem, identity, and emotion. By investigating self-esteem as a midpoint between identities and emotions,
we hope to understand better how L2 (here, English) learners experience certain life events.
From psychological and sociocultural perspectives, we also focus on how they retrospectively
perceived them to describe the development of their trajectories of self-esteem.

Literature Review
Emotion and identity
When reviewing previous research into learner emotion, we were interested in seeing how
other researchers have defined “emotion.” The multidimensionality of emotion makes it difficult to define, but one study that does try to address this is Gregersen, MacIntyre and Meza(2014). They define emotion as “a coordinated reaction typically covering four domains: subjective feelings, biological/physical reactions, purposive (goal-directed) behavior, and a social
component that guides emotional expression and interpretation in situ” (p. 575) by referring
to Reeve (2009). As their comprehensive definition shows, emotion has multifaceted characteristics (see also Prior, 2019). On the other hand, Averill (1980) emphasizes the socially mediated quality of emotions and states “an emotion is a transitory social role (a socially constituted syndrome) that includes an individual’s appraisal of the situation and that is interpreted
as a passion rather than as an action” (p. 312). Based on this definition, emotion is sociallymediated and includes people’s interpretations of ongoing situations from a social constructivist perspective (Oxford, 2015). In other words, emotion is socioculturally constructed (c.f.
Moriya, 2019). For us, this is important because this sociocultural dimension of emotions
potentially reveals the negotiated process of self-esteem as well as identity in learning environments.
Regarding the relationship between emotions and identities, many studies show emotions work as an underlying facilitator of identity formation (e.g., De Costa & Norton, 2017;
Kramsch, 2009; Miyahara, 2015; Song, 2016) because identity indicates how people understand and view their relationship to the world, including socioculturally constructed emotions(Barcelos, 2015; Williams et al., 2015). However, previous studies have long ignored emotion
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In the Midst of Emotion and Identity

due to their emphasis on cognition, the subjectivity of emotion, and the difficulty in defining
and measuring it (Swain, 2013). Therefore, although the importance of emotion to language
learning was always understood instinctively, it is only recently that studies have gradually started to pay more attention to emotion as an influential factor in the field of language
learning psychology (e.g., Douglas Fir Group, 2016; Gkonou, 2017; Imai, 2010).

Self-esteem
Self-esteem is relevant to “our overall affective evaluation of ourselves” (Williams et al.,2015, p. 48). More specifically, self-esteem can be defined as “the evaluative quality of theself-concept” (Dörnyei & Ryan, 2015, p. 185) which reflects how we perceive and value ourselves, and affects L2 learners’ motivation, attitude, and performance (e.g., Dörnyei & Ushioda, 2011; Lapkin, Swain, & Psyllakis, 2010; Rubio, 2007). Brown and Marshall (2006) suggest
three categories of self-esteem: global self-esteem, self-worth, and self-evaluation. First,
global self-esteem refers to a “personality variable that represents the way people generally
feel about themselves” (p. 4). Since it hardly changes across time and situations, this global
self-esteem is also called trait self-esteem. People with high global self-esteem love themselves, but this does not necessarily mean that they have high abilities and skills. To keep
this sort of self-esteem high, a feeling of being “good enough” is the key (Rosenberg, 1965;
Tadokoro, 2002). Another component of self-esteem refers to feelings of self-worth. Thisrefers to feelings and emotional reactions to particular events, and some researchers use theterms interchangeably (e.g., Convington, 1992; see Williams et al., 2015). The other indicator is self-evaluation and confidence. If someone thinks they are good at something, thismeans they hold themselves in high esteem. In fact, Bagheri and Faghih (2012) indicate that
self-esteem cannot be measured by how much a person has achieved, but by how much they
are satisfied with the outcomes of their actions. These three different perspectives positively correlate with each other (Brown & Marshall, 2006), meaning that people who have highself-esteem in one area tend to have higher self-esteem in the other areas.
In addition to the types of self-esteem mentioned above, like identity construction (see Miyahara, 2015), self-esteem is also socioculturally co-constructed in relation to other people’s
reactions, and their complex interaction with self-perception and self-evaluation (Gliński,2013; Rubio-Alcalà, 2017). In other words, success and failure in life can enhance or hinder
L2 learning. Rubio (2014) discusses the dynamics of the development of self-esteem, together with self-concept. These studies on self-esteem reveal that although it can be regarded as
psychologically complex and dynamic, and influenced by sociocultural factors, most of thestudies have been conducted to investigate the partial aspects of self-esteem on L2 learning. However, considering the relationship between emotions, self-esteem, and identities,
it would necessitate a holistic approach to expand our understanding of self-esteem. This isbecause it emerges from entangled interactions between the world and perceived experiencesin it (i.e., sociocultural emotions and self-esteem), with outcomes (here, identities) accounting for learners’ behavior (c.f. MacIntyre, Gregersen, & Mercer, 2016). Therefore, this exploratory study addresses this issue by investigating how L2 learners experienced specific life
events and perceived them retrospectively, in addition to how they described their trajectories
of self-esteem.

Methodology
The current study adopted mixed methods multiple case studies (Creswell, 2015; Creswell &Poth, 2017). Multiple data sources were used: a questionnaire asking for participants’ backgrounds as well as the characteristics of their self-esteem, semi-structured interviews with

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audio-recordings, and memos made during the analysis for triangulation. The aim was toqualitatively and quantitatively investigate students’ self-esteem and its development. To enhance trustworthiness, investigator triangulation was conducted (O’Brien, Harris, Beckman,
Reed, & Cook, 2014).

Research Context and Participants
The context in this study was two undergraduate courses at a private university in Tokyo,
where the first author observed all 15 classes. The aim of both courses was to develop the fourbasic skills for low-proficiency students1. Table 1 summarizes basic information on the courses.
Table 1. Basic Information on Two Courses
CoursesType

N of Students (Male/Female)Ss’ YearSs’ Major

Course A

Compulsory

30 (14/16)

SophomoreManagement

Course B*

Compulsory

13 (11/2)

Various

Various

Note: In Course B, the students’ years varied from sophomore to senior, and their majors included thefollowing: management, humanities, sociology, and foreign studies (Japanese linguistics).

As Table 1 summarizes, both courses were regarded as compulsory courses at the university; however, none of the students were English majors, which means the students were
not required to study English after finishing these compulsory courses. Although they did
not necessarily wish to study English, many students actively engaged in the in-class activities because the instructor introduced various types of pair or group activities to facilitatesocial interaction between students. Therefore, from an observer’s perspective, it did notappear that their motivation to participate in English courses was low. Prior to conducting
the non-participant observations, the author obtained permission to collect data from the
instructor of both courses. At first, the author was a complete stranger to the students but
obtained their informed consent by explaining the research aims and objectives.

Data Collection
During this study, the data collection procedure was divided into two phases. The first one
consisted of the questionnaire, which asked the students about their self-esteem using hypothetical situations, emotion management during language learning (Gkonou & Oxford, 2016),
and their background. The second one was semi-structured interviews which focused onsome questions relevant to their answers to the questionnaire.
During the first class, the first author distributed the questionnaire and then explained
it, and the students answered the items in Japanese in around 20 minutes. Appendix A(close-ended) and Appendix B (open-ended) present the questionnaire items.
From the seventh to the fourteenth class, the first author conducted and audio-recorded 20
semi-structured interviews with 34 students. Due to the limited time, the first author could
not interview the 43 students in two courses, so the 34 students among them were the ones
who the first author managed to interview with no deliberate purposes. The total length of
1 In a year of our study, this university divided students into such courses the university offered, according totheir proficiency levels. Judging from their language background and instructor’s evaluation, the students in the
study would be categorized into beginner or elementary levels (i.e., CEFR A1 or A2).
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In the Midst of Emotion and Identity

the recordings was about 262.5 minutes (i.e., each interview lasted 13 minutes on average,
and some interviews were in pairs). Beforehand, an interview guide was created to determine
the following: what the students tried to improve, the reason(s) for evaluating self-esteem,
and their original methods for learning English. After the interviews, the students were asked
to record their impressions of the interviews on comment sheets. 20 students submitted thesevoluntary comment sheets.

Data Analysis
To analyze students’ self-esteem from different angles, multiple analyses were required. We
used SPSS to analyze our quantitative data (Appendix A and part of Appendix B), and determine the overall tendencies within the classrooms descriptively. Meanwhile, to analyze
qualitative data (the other parts of Appendix B and interview data), we coded the responses
without a pre-determined framework due to the exploratory nature of the study. The coding
phases were divided into two: the first one comprised a brief open coding of the data, and thesecond one comprised a discussion of any discrepancies between coders’ interpretations. If
such discrepancies remained unsolved, we returned to the raw data again. This iterative process ensured the triangulation of data (i.e., investigator triangulation).
Trajectory Equifinality Approach (TEA) was identified as a suitable approach to examine thecomplex and dynamic aspects of self-esteem, by considering changes in emotions and theircauses. TEA is a recent approach established by some researchers in cultural psychology andconsists of three subcomponents (for further details, see Sato, Mori, & Valsiner, 2016). The
basic tenets of TEA are also the same as Vygotsky’s (1978) triangular model, which demonstrates how the relationship between subjects and objects is mediated by artifacts such as
language. However, the Vygotskian triangle fails to capture dynamic characteristics because
it only assesses interrelatedness, rather than changes (see Sato, Yasuda, Kanzaki, & Valsiner, 2014). Therefore, TEA develops Vygotsky’s triangle to reflect the changes in participants
over time. In this study, from the three subcomponents of TEA, the Trajectory Equifinality
Model (TEM) was adopted because it focuses on expressing “…idiographic life trajectories
using many conceptual tools” (Sato et al., 2014, p. 8). Figure 1 indicates one example of TEM,
and by drawing an irreversible time arrow, the model considers the axis of time. Therefore,
by adopting the concept of irreversible time within TEM, which rests fundamentally upon a
Vygotskian philosophy, this analysis considers the dynamic aspects of emotions as well as thecontextually complex aspects of emotions.

Figure 1. Basic notions of TEM (Sato, Yasuda, Kanzaki, & Valsiner, 2014, p. 97).
The current study addresses the following three research questions.

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RQ1: What characterizes students’ self-esteem?
First and foremost, the study carefully describes the characteristics of students’ self-esteem
and their attitudes to learning English. The questionnaire (Appendix A) and statistical analysis captured the overall tendencies in each course. However, quantitative data was not sufficient to try to understand each student fully, because numerical data itself does not include
details of weighting value. In other words, even when responding with the same number,each student has a different image of it; therefore, it can be assumed that the number 4 in a
Likert scale for student A could be equivalent to the number 6 for student B. Therefore, thesecond research question was formulated to compensate for the shortcomings of statisticalanalysis.

RQ2: What were the psychological and/or sociocultural causes of such characteristics?
The second research question was designed to clarify students’ backgrounds and then help us
understand how they weigh the value for each point on the scale. After summarizing the descriptive results of the questionnaire, we explored both psychological and sociocultural causes, both of which were likely to exert a powerful influence on students’ self-esteem. In thisstudy, for practicality, we used a simplified version of the MYE (managing your emotions forlanguage learning; Gkonou & Oxford, 2016) questionnaire (Appendix B); however, the information from our other data sources allowed us to contextualize three hypothetical situationsin the simplified MYE questionnaire (e.g., What kind of emotions would you experience in thefollowing situation: In your English class, you are now working with your classmate(s).). To triangulate learners’ open-ended responses, another type of data was needed to understand what
experience have influenced on their learning. Finally, the third research question was formulated to determine their coping strategies.

RQ3: What kind of coping strategies do students use when facing such circumstances?
The third research question aims to further deepen our understanding of the students themselves. Based on both types of questionnaire results (Appendix A and B), we made an interview guide and conducted semi-structured interviews to connect their learning backgroundswith their reactions toward hypothetical situations. In addition to that, methodologically, theinterviews provided further information on students’ experiences (e.g., how they have managed or overcome situations causing their high or low self-esteem). More specifically, we
wished to determine students’ coping strategies for managing self-esteem issues as well as
the reasons (RQ3) by holistically considering their characteristics of self-esteem (RQ1) andtheir experiences (RQ2).

Findings and Discussion
This section firstly presents our data and then discusses findings relevant to each researchquestion.

RQ1: What characterizes students’ self-esteem?
Descriptive statistics on Appendix A
Prior to integrating qualitative data, we initially examined the students’ attitudes to learning
English and their self-esteem descriptively using the questionnaire data (Appendix A), andthen investigated some of our foci more in detail to explore what could not be ascertained
from numerical data alone.
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Table 2 summarizes the results of the descriptive statistics on the questionnaire scales. One
non-negligible finding from this result is that, overall, the mean score of students’ purposes
for learning English is higher than the other scales, which means that they have specific reasons for learning English (to chat with friends, to help others in trouble, to go sightseeing, to
get jobs, and to read novels, for example). On the other hand, the mean score of self-evaluation was the lowest, followed by fulfillment, which indicates that although they are eager tolearn English, they pessimistically evaluate themselves as “not enough,” paradoxically contributing to hesitation in, and hindrances to learning the language.
Table 2. Descriptive Statistics on the Questionnaire Scales
Scales (Items)

N

M

SD

Self-Regulation (Item 1-5) (α=.82)

40

3.4

1.18

Purposes (Item 6-11) (α = .85)

41

4.29

1.41

Self-Evaluation (Item 12-18) (α = .87)

40

2.68

1.25

Motivation* (Item 19-22, 24) (α = .747)

41

3.6

1.1

Fulfillment (Item 25-32) (α = .82)

41

3.01

1.18

Self-Acceptance (Item 33-37) (α = .769)

40

3.61
1.26
Note: For the motivation scale, originally, Cronbach’s alpha was lower than .70 (α = . 597), regarded asa preferential point when implementing questionnaire surveys (Takeuchi & Mizumoto, 2014). However, the descriptive statistics showed that this alpha level would be higher (i.e., more than .70) if Item
23 was deleted; therefore, we decided to delete it. One of the reasons for this lower alpha level werethe characteristics of reversed scored items. In other words, some of the students may have overlooked
negation ( -nai ending in Japanese). Regardless of the courses, all the six scales ranged from 1 to 6.

As the descriptive statistics show, the questionnaire data enabled us to deepen our understanding of students’ self-esteem. They have clear learning visions and were eager to accept
themselves (self-acceptance); however, they seemed to experience a gap between their current state and what they wanted to be in the near future. This gap led them to evaluate themselves negatively (self-evaluation). Our original definition of self-esteem was “the evaluative
quality of the self-concept” (Dörnyei & Ryan, 2015, p. 185). Therefore, we understood that students’ self-esteem was not so high partly due to the gap between their current situation andtheir high goals for learning English.

RQ2: What are the psychological and/or sociocultural causes of such characteristics?
Simplified Managing Your Emotions for language learning questionnaire (Appendix B)
To obtain findings by interpreting the open-ended responses to the simplified MYE questionnaire (Appendix B), first, we produced descriptive statistics. Although the first question ineach scenario (Question 1, 4, 7) simply addresses whether the students feel positive or negative toward each hypothetical situation, the overall characteristics are summarized in Table 3.
As Table 3 shows, for more than half of the students, scenarios 1 (i.e., In your English class,
you are now working with your classmate(s).) and 3 (i.e., Outside of your English class, you
are now studying English by yourself at your house or university library.) were likely to cause
positive emotions in total, but only scenario 2 (i.e., In your English class, you are now taking
one-to-one tutorials with the teacher.) was likely to cause negative emotions. One possible
explanation for this result may be the relevant power relations involved (Norton, 1995). In
other words, in Japan, teachers are still regarded as authority figures; therefore, the majority

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Ryo Moriya & Ami Ishizukaof the students feel negative emotions such as fear, nervousness, and anxiety in relation toteachers (c.f. Kudo, Harada, Eguchi, Moriya, & Suzuki, 2017).
Table 3. Overall Characteristics of Simplified MYE on each Hypothetical Situation
Scenario

Positive or Negative%

Scenario 1 (S-S* interactions, in-class)

23:18

56:44

Scenario 2 (S-T* interactions, in-class)

15:26

37:63

Scenario 3 (Self-study, out-of-class)

23:18

56:44

Note: S-S indicates social interactions between peers while S-T indicates social interactions between
students and teachers.

In contrast to Table 3 above, Table 4 presents detailed information on the emotions expressed by the students, elicited by open-ended questions where participants were asked toname the emotions they would feel in the hypothetical situations (Question 2, 5, 8). This data
was coded by the authors. Overall, joy was the most common positive feeling in both courses. On the other hand, anxiety was the most frequently expressed negative emotion; however, each scenario seemed to elicit different emotions in students. Scenario 1 was more likely
to elicit anxiety, scenario 2 tended to make them nervous, and scenario 3 caused boredom.
Another interesting finding in Table 4 was that the codes “anxiety but excitement” or “anxiety but joy/excitement” appeared in scenarios 1 and 2. These codes did not occur frequently; however, some students expressed their emotions as “thrilling” (zokuzoku-suru) yet in apositive way.
Table 4. The Details of Emotions Expressed toward Each Scenario
Positive

Negative

Scenario 1 (S-S* interactions, in-class)
TOTAL (23): joy (12), anxiety but joy/excitement (4), comfort (4), ambition (1), excitement (1), N/A* (1)TOTAL (18): anxiety (8), nervousness (2),tiredness (2), awkwardness (1), confusion (1),disappointment (1), irritation (1), regret (1),
N/A (1)

Scenario 2 (S-T* interactions, in-class)
TOTAL (15): joy (8), anxiety but joy/excitement (2), comfort (2), ambition (1), N/A (2)TOTAL (26): nervousness (9), anxiety (8),anxiety and nervousness (3), confusion (1),disgust (1), tiredness (1), N/A (3)Scenario 3 (Self-study, out-of-class)
TOTAL (23): joy (9), comfort (6), curiosity(3), excitement (1), joy and excitement (1),
N/A (3)TOTAL (18): boredom (5), tiredness (4), anxiety (3), confusion (1), disgust (1), dullness(1), sadness (1), N/A (2)Note: S-S indicates social interactions between peers while S-T indicates social interactions between
students and teachers. N/A indicates that students responded either positive or negative but did notoffer specific explanations for this. The numbers in the parentheses indicate the code frequency.

Following self-evaluation, fulfillment was the second lowest mean among the other items(Table 2). Through an analysis of the scenario-based questionnaire (Appendix B), the causLearner Development Journal • Volume 1: Issue 3 • December 201915

In the Midst of Emotion and Identity

es of low-self-esteem were more deeply understood as supplementary information to thenumerical data presented above. According to each hypothetical scenario, anxiety, nervousness, and boredom were frequent emotions experienced by students (Table 4). Anxiety was
aroused when their performance might impact upon their friendships in classrooms. For
example, some students mentioned comparing their work with other classmates. When they
heard classmates speak in English, they felt inferior, or when they felt inferior, they wereafraid that their English might affect the atmosphere negatively. However, other students had
mixed emotions of anxiety and joy/excitement. This supported similar findings by Dewaele
and MacIntyre (2014) that expressed “two faces of Janus,” which explains how the experienceof anxiety can cause different actions. We could not have observed the role of anxiety as a
facilitative factor if we did not have multiple data sources. Students may inevitably experience
nervousness due to their belief in the power and authority of an instructor. Even during thesimilar one-to-one interactional scenarios (scenario 1 and 2), there were few responses aboutanxiety to scenario 1. Therefore, students’ self-esteem fluctuates depending on different sociocultural contexts. Moreover, boredom seemingly emerged from both internal feelings andexternal causes. In other words, students’ low self-esteem would result in them feeling too
bored to study on a psychological level, and vice versa. In addition, it is assumed that self-directed study is experienced as lonely, due to less social interaction with friends or classmatessurrounding them. Therefore, we can say that students’ emotions emerge socioculturally, andtheir emotions and self-esteem mutually influence and are influenced by ongoing situations.

RQ3: What kind of coping strategies do students use when facing such causes?
Interview data
Interview data revealed the past experiences of the students and helped explain some of theresults of the questionnaires. Based on the result of self-evaluation scale (i.e., Item 12-18
from Appendix A) presumably affecting students’ self-esteem, we divided the students into
two groups (i.e., high or low self-evaluation) and then coded the reasons they gave. The
dividing line between the high (H) and low (L) groups was whether the mean score of each
student’s self-evaluation was over or under the mean of 3.5 (i.e., L < 3.5 ≤ H) of the 6-point
Likert scale. According to this criterion, Table 5 summarizes some findings from the interviews. The upper part of Table 5 below refers to the questionnaire while the lower part isabout the interviews. As the table shows, more than half of the students in H group had several experiences of going abroad and/or long stay there while most of the students in L group
have never been overseas. Another interesting finding is that, whether they experienced time
abroad or not, 23 students among 34 mentioned bitter memories in the past. For example,
one male student in H group told the first author that he could not stand the reaction of otherclassmates who were surprised to hear him speaking English just after he came back froma homestay. Since this experience, he has used Japanese-accented English during English
classes intentionally and tries to avoid communicating with other classmates in English, but
outside the classroom, he has studied hard to improve his English with the purpose of communicating with other people from different countries. Meanwhile, one female student in L
group told that when she heard her classmates speak in English, she compared her English
proficiency with other classmates. Even though no one mocked or laughed at her English, shestarted to feel a sense of inferiority gradually.
Based on the information in Table 5, we created Figure 2, utilizing the concept of TEM. This
figure simply summarizes some pathways including bifurcation points of high or low self-esteem. One of the most important factors in the figure is ‘Bad Events’. In fact, most of the students mentioned ‘bad’ experiences relevant to English (e.g., difficulty in communicating, some

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Ryo Moriya & Ami Ishizuka

failure, a sense of inferiority), but what is remarkable is how they interpreted and then reacted
to these events afterwards. In other words, if they thought such ‘bad’ events as positive, thesefacilitated students’ English study or moving forward (action-oriented), but others tended to
avoid learning or avert their thoughts if they got overwhelmed with bad experiences. Anotherimportant junction affecting self-esteem is whether they can accumulate good events or successful experiences as a result of studying English. If not, some students started to feel a senseof inferiority by comparing with classmates or those who have a good command of English
because their attention to English tended to direct toward others, not themselves.
Table 5. Overall Characteristics of Each Group from the Questionnaire and Interviews
Appendix A
High Self-Evaluation (7/41)*

Low Self-Evaluation (34/41)*•

Abundant overseas experience (5)•No or few overseas experience (25;8)•

All mean scores of the other scales also
surpass 3.5 or higher (3)•The mean score of self-evaluation is 2 orlower (11)

N of students interviewed (7/34)

N of students interviewed (26/34)•

Using English beyond classroom (6)•Getting low score on English tests (6)•Some ‘bad’ experiences when abroad orafter coming back (4)•Few opportunities to use English within
and beyond classroom (6)•Feeling inferior to others (5)•Difficulty in listening (3)•Hating an English teacher (1)•N/A (5)

Note: Since one student forgot to answer one item, SPSS regarded it as a missing value, so this student
was excluded from Table 5. The numbers in the parentheses indicate the code frequency. N/A indicatesthat students responded as low self-esteem, but did not have any experience for this.

As observed in the responses to the simplified MYE questionnaire and interviews (Table 5
and Figure 2), those students who experienced positive emotions were more likely to be action-oriented while those who felt negative were divided into two patterns: action-oriented
or averting their thoughts. The former pattern was similar to the “two faces of Janus” (Dewaele & MacIntyre, 2014), mentioned above; therefore, even if students felt negative emotions, they tried to do their best to manage or adjust to the sociocultural situation. Meanwhile, the latter focused more on psychological management or adjustment strategies becausesuch students try to refresh their minds by shifting to a different situation to mitigate theiremotional disturbances (i.e., emotion regulation; see Gross, 2015). Likewise, giving up on
their tasks was also intended to manage negative emotions. However, this was not planned tofacilitate the completion of students’ tasks; rather they averted them. One reason for the twopatterns (i.e., either action-oriented or averting) derived from how the students had createdmeaning from “negative” events in the past. According to the interviews, even when students
experienced similar “bad” events (e.g., getting low score on English tests, feeling inferior toother classmates, experiencing few opportunities to speak English), we found some students
interpreted such events as valuable lessons while others regarded these memories as unpleasant. Therefore, we could say that different meaning-making patterns result in developing
different strategies to manage emotions and self-esteem, leading to the reconstruction andmaintenance of their identity as a learner.
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In the Midst of Emotion and Identity

Figure 2. Trajectories of self-esteem. The largest arrow indicates the axis of time from right toleft. The other arrows indicate each route connecting the following experiences.
Grounded on our data and findings, finally, we created Figure 3 to summarize how self-esteem functions in L2 learning as well as the interrelationships between emotions, self-esteem, and identities. As Figure 3 describes, learners appraise a particular situation (withothers) or are evaluated by someone, where emotions are socioculturally co-constructed (Appendix B). Such emotions, regardless of valences, influence on their identities, but how these
emotions are processed or internalized greatly depends on whether their self-esteem highor low (Appendix A and interviews). That is, self-esteem in this case functions as the lens ofprocessing emotions. Therefore, low self-esteem might affect the overall process of identity
formation negatively, so that learners find it difficult to make meanings of their past experiences, struggling with L2 learning (as heartrendingly expressed in the beginning).

Figure 3. A cyclical model of emotions, self-esteem, and identities. Through the lens of self
-esteem, learners evaluate their own emotions co-constructed from situations (including
others), affecting their identities.

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Ryo Moriya & Ami Ishizuka

Conclusion
The current study has explored Japanese university students’ emotions with a focus on
self-esteem and investigated the background of their high or low self-esteem evaluations utilizing various forms of data. To capture the overall tendency within the targeted classrooms,
we utilized a Likert-scale questionnaire combined with open-ended questions to observe
students’ diverse reactions. We analyzed their short narratives about learning English frominterviews to connect the different types of data. The findings were that students’ self-esteem was not so high because their extremely ambitious learning goals tended to be beyond
their limits (RQ1), that low self-esteem resulted from the interaction between emotions andsituations (RQ2), and that to cope with such low self-esteem the students adopted one of two
strategies (i.e., either completing or averting tasks) depending on their interpretations of past
events (RQ3). Although we deepened our understanding about the target students within thespecific classrooms observed, the limitations of our study include all single-shot data sets,
each of which only focused on past-to-present shifts and was conducted only once. However, further studies may indicate our questionnaire should be administered several times toobserve ongoing changes (preferably including several interviews of the same students) andthat researchers, if they wish to make a comparison, could select similar classes or courses
to compare their characteristics statistically and/or qualitatively. Finally, our study indicatesthat teachers and classrooms may simply be one of the environments students have encountered. However for students, this will be one of the important constituents of their identity
formation as a learner, whether positive or negative. Therefore, even within classroom contexts, researchers and practitioners need to pay joint attention to what happens beyond classrooms because students have accumulated their meaning-making strategies from diverse
contexts. As a result of this intricately entangled scenario, the dynamic adjustment of one
aspect of the situation, affects all the others, like a kaleidoscope.

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Acknowledgements
We are immensely grateful to the participants, who willingly shared their stories during thestudy. Our heartfelt gratitude especially goes to all our supportive editors Christina Gkonou,
Jim Ronald, and Yoshio Nakai, and others who have contributed to this work and have given
us a memorable opportunity.

Review ProcessThis paper was open peer-reviewed by Katherine Thornton, one of the members of the Learner Development Journal Review Network. (Contributors have the option of open or blind review.).

Author Bios
Ryo Moriya is a Ph.D. student at the Graduate School of Education, Waseda University and a
Research Fellow of Japan Society for the Promotion of Science. He holds an MA in Educationfrom Waseda University, where he also serves as both Japanese and English learning advisors.
His research interests are in sociocultural approaches including Sociocultural theory, advising in language learning, and perezhivanie (the unity of cognition and emotion). E-mail: ryo.
m6bell.a@gmail.com
Ami Ishizuka is currently working at LITALICO Inc., where she provides employment support
for people with disabilities. She holds a BA in English Literature from Waseda University. Her
research interests are especially in inclusive education aiming for the realization of multicultural society. E-mail: anzu.25@gmail.com

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Appendix A
Likert-Scale QuestionnairePart 1
Please choose one of the six responses at the lower right, circling the appropriate number in
relation to the extent that each of the items below corresponds to your situation in terms of
the way that you take English classes and study English at university.
1.	 In order to understand classes I independently study before and after class.
2.	 There is someone I can ask when there is something I do not understand in class.
3.	 I will try to work things out as much as possible so that I understand things in class.
4.	 I am aware of what I am not good at in class.
5.	 I know the methods for study that are necessary for class.
Part 2
Please choose one of the same six responses, circling the appropriate number in relation to
the extent that each of the items below corresponds to your situation in terms of your goals
in learning English and your own English proficiency.
6.	 I want to acquire the ability to read and understand academic and professional English
sentences.
7.	 I want to acquire the ability to listen to and understand lectures and presentations on
specialized content that are given in English.
8.	 I want to acquire the ability to write logically structured sentences in accurate English.
9.	 I want to acquire the ability to speak with others in English and to clearly express myown opinion.
10.	I have a goal such as taking an external English test (TOEIC, etc.).
11.	 I want to acquire English skills (4 skills) so that I can properly follow classes at overseas
universities.
12.	English was one of my best subjects at high school (my grades were good).
13.	Now that I am at university, I think my English ability is comparable to that of otherstudents.
14.	I think that my English reading skills are good.
15.	I think that English listening skills are good.
16.	I think that I am good at writing sentences in English.
17.	I think that I will be able to give a presentation in English if I prepare.
18.	I am confident in my English pronunciation.

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Part 3
Please choose one of the six responses at the lower right, circling the appropriate number in
relation to the extent that each of the items below corresponds to your situation in terms of
how you feel about studying English.
19.	I have a strong desire to try to make my dreams come true in relation to learning English.
20.	I am passionate about learning English.
21.	I feel that learning English is worth my while and I am motivated to do so.
22.	I approach learning English with a positive attitude.
23.	I do not know what I really want to do in relation to learning English.
24.	I have no goals in my English learning.
25.	I feel mentally comfortable when I am learning English.
26.	I have an open mind towards learning English, and I find it exhilarating.
27.	I find learning English to be a lot of fun.
28.	There are no days when I truly feel that learning English is fun.
29.	I do not feel satisfied with learning English.
30.	I feel that I am able to do the things I like in learning English.
31.	I feel a sense of fulfillment in learning English.
32.	I feel that I am at ease learning English.
33.	I am able to honestly accept my personality when I am learning English.
34.	I think it’s okay to have my own style of learning English.
35.	I am able to admit my good and bad points in relation to English learning as they are.
36.	When I am learning English, I value my individuality.
37.	When learning English, I try my hardest to develop the good aspects of myself.
Note: All the items were rated on a 6-point Likert scale (i.e., 1 indicates “strongly disagree” while 6
indicates “strongly agree”). In Part 1, the items were based on Zimmerman and Schunk (2011) andmeasured self-regulation. In Part 2, the items were partly based on our project funded by the Institutefor Advanced Studies in Education, Waseda University. From Item 6 to 11, these items were created to
ask about students’ goals when learning English. As for Item 12 to 18, they were created to ask students about their self-evaluation of their English proficiency. In Part 3, the items were from Yasuda(2015) and the underlined items (e.g., Item 23, 24, 28, and 29) were reversed scored ones. According to
his paper, the 19 items cover three constructs. In other words, from Item 19 to Item 24, they measured
motivation for learning English. Item 25 to 32 measured fulfillment or positive emotions when learning
English. The remaining five items measured self-acceptance when learning English.

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Appendix B
Open-Ended Questionnaire
Read the following scenarios and answer the questions.
Scenario 1: In your English class, you are now working with your classmate(s).
Q1: What kind of emotions would you experience in this situation?
Q1-a: Positive

Q1-b: Negative

Q2: Please name the emotions (one or more) you would feel in this situation.
Q3: What would you do in order to manage these emotions in this situation?
Q3-a: What would you do to increase any posi- Q3-b: What would you to do handle any negative emotions in this situation?
tive emotions in this situation?
Scenario 2: In your English class, you are now taking one-to-one tutorials with the teacher.
Q4: What kind of emotions would you experience in this situation?
Q4-a: Positive

Q4-b: Negative

Q5: Please name the emotions (one or more) you would feel in this situation.
Q6: What would you do in order to manage these emotions in this situation?
Q6-a: What would you do to increase any posi- Q6-b: What would you to do handle any negative emotions in this situation?
tive emotions in this situation?
Scenario 3: Outside of your English class, you are now studying English by yourself at yourhouse or university library.
Q7: What kind of emotions would you experience in this situation?
Q7-a: Positive

Q7-b: Negative

Q8: Please name the emotions (one or more) you would feel in this situation.
Q9: What would you do in order to manage these emotions in this situation?
Q9-a: What would you do to increase any posi- Q9-b: What would you to do handle any negative emotions in this situation?
tive emotions in this situation?
Note: Part 4 and 5 were omitted due to their irrelevance to this study. In Part 6, these questions werebased on Gkonou and Oxford (2016). The first author simplified their original version of MYE (managing emotions for language learning) due to its original length and practicality of the study (for further
details of MYE, see Gkonou & Oxford, 2016; Oxford, 2017). Similar to MYE, each set of questions werebased on three hypothetical situations, and the students answered the questions about each situation.

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