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SECOND ANNUAL JAT CONTEST FOR NEW AND ASPIRING TRANSLATORSJapanese-to-English Division Winners and Reviews
There were 14 eligible entrants in the Japanese-to-English division. We thank all for their effort.
Of those 14, the following five advanced to the final round (Entrants were numbered from 1 to 14 to retain
anonymity).
Avery Fischer Udagawa
Darren Botting
Yoko Hasegawa
Camellia Nieh
Jeff Darling
1st Place Darren Botting (埼玉県北本市) No.6
2nd Place Camellia Nieh (Monterey, CA) No.3
Other Finalists: Avery Fischer Udagawa (Oman) No.1 , Jeff Darling (静岡県袋井市) No.7 ,Yoko Hasegawa (Kensington, CA) No.13

日英部門課題文
The following is a government document written for a general audience. Please translateaccordingly.
Judge's comment:
What this document says is:
We've got a new role, so we're doing a fundamental revision of policy to go with it.
We got some experts to put together some ideas in a coherent form.
We're now publishing the resulting guidelines to get your reaction.
We'll refer to your comments when we plan the final policy document.
Eventually we'll have a policy that befits our new role (and name).
This document was different from last year's in that in addition to the White Paper section, there was adescriptive section too, which can be translated more freely. In judging, one of the things I was looking for was anunderstanding of the different natures of the two parts of the document.

経済産業省東北経済産業局 「東北経済産業情報 東北 21」２月号より（http://www.tohoku.meti.go.jp/koho/kohoshi/mokuji/0102/tokusyu.htm）

特集

競争力ある自律型地域 * の創造～２１世紀東北経済産業政策のあり方～

2 of 11* Refers to Tohoku as a whole and not regions/communities in it.
東北経済産業局 企画課
当局では、本年１月６日の省庁再編に伴う東北通商産業局から東北経済産業局への変更を契機に、21世紀の東北経済の将来像を見通し、それを実現するための地域経済産業政策の基本的方向について先般「競争力ある自律型地域の創造～21世紀東北経済産業政策のあり方～」（以下「あり方」という）を策定しました。
当局では、この「あり方」を今後域内・外に広く提案し、各界各層からの御意見や御批判を賜るとともに、ここで示した基本的な方向に沿ったより具体的なアクションプログラム等を作成し、東北経済産業局としての新しい政策展開を図っていく予定です。
これらを通じて、名実ともに「東北経済産業局」として生まれ変わる契機としたいと考えています。
この「あり方」をとりまとめるにあたっては、昨年９月、域内外の有識者20名で構成する「21世紀東北地域経済産業政策のあり方懇談会（委員長：下平尾*福島大学教授）を設置し、計４回の会合を持ち、各般にわたる意見を頂戴しました。
* "Shimohirao," not "O. Shimodaira."

今後は東北各地で説明会を開催するとともに、当局のホームページやその他あらゆる機会をとらえてこの「あり方」について提示していく予定です。ここでは、「あり方」の概略をご紹介します。
【要旨】（１）二十一世紀の東北は、本格的な高齢社会の到来、経済のグローバル化や情報化等の進展、環境・エネルギー問題の顕在化、地方分権の流れや財政状況の逼迫化等により、問題解決のための模範となるべきモデルのない「海図なき時代」に突入。
（２）このような中で東北は、キャッチアップ型モデルから自律型発展のモデルに転換するとともに、幅広い「人財」を育て活用する地域を目指すことが必要。
（３）このような認識のもと、二十一世紀の四半世紀を念頭に置いた東北経済の将来像として、①競争力のある創造的な地域経済の構築、②自立した個人が活躍する多参画型地域社会の形成、③世界に開かれた活力あふれる地域社会の実現を目指す。
（４）また二十一世紀に成長が期待される①「医療・福祉・健康」関連産業、②「環境・エネル
ギー」関連産業、③「情報」関連産業、④「食」関連（バイオを含む）産業とこれらの産業を支える「ものづくり」産業を重点的に推進。
（５）これらを実現するため、東北経済産業局としては、東北ブロックとしての広域的な地域経済
産業政策を進めることを基本とし、具体的には将来有望な産業領域に属する企業群の育成や「地域発の戦略的なプロジェクト」の推進を、「選択と集中」という観点から実施。
（６）これらの政策推進に当たって、当局としても、①コーディネート機能、②企画立案機能、③
情報発信機能、④情報収集・分析機能を強化することが必要。

Judges' Comments

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General comments:● I'd have felt a lot better about No.3 if only he/she had realized that 地域 referred to
Tohoku as a whole instead of individual regions/communities/economies within Tohoku. Thatmesses up the whole translation, starting from the title.
● Unfortunately for No.6, the title contains one of my pet peeves, which is "competitive
power（競争力）." That always sounds to me like they want to encourage several different
companies to supply electricity to the area. Also, the first paragraph is really poorly written,
and has one sentence that contains two colons. There are one or two spots where No.1
outshines the other two quite nicely, item 4 of the list at the bottom being one of them.
Unfortunately, too much of the rest of the translation contains gibberish like "a diverse
regional culture that privileges the activity of self-reliant individuals." There are plenty ofthings to nit-pick in No.3, as well, but to me it reads much more smoothly than the other two.
たとえば“with competitive power”を Google検索してみると・・・
検索結果: 571 件 (2006年3月15日現在)
使用例: US Senate Committee on Energy and Natural Resources: The electricity industry is in
the middle of a sometimes painful transition from an industry composed of highly regulated
integrated utilities with monopoly service territories and cost-based pricing, to an industry withcompetitive power generation …

● I rank the finalists as No.6, No.3, No.1 (For simplicity, I've eliminated No.7 and No.13 in
the following discussion.) with No.6 as the winner. No 6 is very well done, except for theponderous opening paragraph. No.3 is equally well done, except for the pluralization of"communities" which is an egregious error. It is hard to decide which is worse. No.1 seems to
be a poorer translation than either No.3 or No.6.
Specific comments on the final translations:
Translation No.1
Mistranslations[1]:... with emphasis on developments in each quarter-century [emphasis on the first quarter only]... alternative energy [not really, nuclear is a large part of what they're talking about.]... product research and development [not here. They're talking about monozukuri]
Examples of odd English[1]... Agriculture and aquaculture: [Is this right for "食"?]Translation No.3
Mistranslations[3]:Creating Competitive Self-Directing Regions [(自律型地域)Just one Region-----東北]... aspiring to establish communities that .... [(地域を目指す) Just one community-----東北]... building of creative and competitive local economies .... [(地域経済) Just one
economy-----東北]... formation of communities that .... [(地域社会) Just one community?-----東北]... Tohoku's goals for the first quarter of the 21st Century ... [(四半世紀を念頭に置いた東北経済の将来) the primary focus may be on the first quarter, but surely the whole Century is4 of 11

being considered]... promoting local economic and industrial policies throughout the broad region of the Tohoku
block [should be "for the region", not "throughout the region".
Examples of odd English[3]... the fundamental direction of ...policy necessary to anticipate...the prospects for the Tohoku
economy... the Bureau ... will be reborn both in name and substance... under the rubric of "selectivity and concentration" [did the translator understand this? It
simply means that instead of promoting all businesses, they're going to select a small number
and just promote those.
Translation No.6
Mistranslations[6]:Adds information that wasn't in the text: 2001
Examples of odd English[6]... intensify its coordination function []Intensify ???]
Examples of inspired translation[6]:Dropping ”あり方”
I had discarded all but six passages off-hand to start. No.6 was one of the passages that I gave
careful consideration. I informally used a combination of objective criteria (ATA certification
criteria) and my subjective reaction to the texts to pick my final three. I had such a negative
subjective reaction to the long, ponderous translation of the first paragraph in No.6 that I
removed the passage from further consideration.
Today, I redid passages No.3 and No.6 with the ATA criteria any, being careful to mark similarerrors consistently. As a result, I came up with almost identical scores, but No.3 had slightly
more than double the number of comprehension errors as No.6, while No.6 had slightly lessthan double the number of English usage and "translation" errors (e.g., translationese) and"editing/proofreading" errors (e.g., omissions) as No.3.
Like I say, my gut reaction was against No.6, but it is more accurate than No.3, and both
received almost identical total scores with the ATA criteria. In view of the considerably greater
accuracy of No.6, I'll probably lean in the direction of No.6, No.3, No.1, unless there are any
hearty objections to the contrary.
However, No.6 does serve as an example of why journalism emphasizes the importance of acatchy lead for feature stories. I was totally put off by the long, circular opening sentences.
Before the discussion ends, I would like to say that I appreciated the way No.7 circumvented
arikata with something snappy like "Strategy 21." However, I didn't like the way it referred toa local bureau as a ministry and I found it contained quite a few comprehension errors andawkward parts.

Translated texts (注： レイアウトは原文どおりではありません。一部復元できなかった文字

5 of 11もあります。)
Avery Fischer Udagawa
Darren Botting
Yoko Hasegawa
Camellia Nieh
Jeff Darling

Avery Fischer Udagawa
Special ReportCreating an Autonomous Region with a Competitive Edge:
The Direction of Economy, Trade and Industry Policy in Tohoku in the 21st Century
Tohoku Bureau of Economy, Trade and Industry
Planning Section
On January 6, as part of the reorganization of central government, the Tohoku Bureau ofInternational Trade and Industry became the Tohoku Bureau of Economy, Trade and Industry.
Recently we used this transition as an opportunity to forecast the future of the 21st-century
Tohoku economy, and to determine the basic course of regional economy, trade and industry
policy that will make this future a reality. The result is “Creating an Autonomous Region with aCompetitive Edge: The Direction of Economy, Trade and Industry Policy in Tohoku in the 21stCentury” (“Direction”).
We now hope to publicize “Direction” widely, both within and outside the region, and to framea more concrete plan of action based on its aims, even as we receive reaction and comment
from various levels of a range of fields. In this way we will plot out development of new policy
as the Tohoku Bureau of Economy, Trade and Industry.
By doing this, we hope to redefine ourselves as the Tohoku Bureau of Economy, Trade andIndustry both in name and in function.
“Directions” coalesced after we formed a special panel of 20 local and outside experts (Chair:
Isao Shimohirao, Professor, Faculty of Economics, Fukushima University), who came together
on four occasions and provided us with their views.
Now, in addition to holding informational sessions throughout the Tohoku region, we plan to
publicize “Directions” using the bureau’s home page and all other appropriate means. In thisspace, we present a general overview of “Directions.”
Main Points
1. Due to rapid emergence of an aging society; economic globalization and evolution of
information technologies; increasingly urgent environmental and energy crises; anddecentralization in a period of financial stringency, 21st-century Tohoku will find itself in a“period of uncharted waters,” for which few effective problem-solving models are available.
2. Given this reality, Tohoku will need to undergo a shift from a “catch-up” model to anautonomous-development model, in which nurture and use of a broad range of humanresources becomes a regional priority.
3. Recognizing this, we propose a vision for the future of the 21st-century Tohoku economy,
with emphasis on developments in each quarter-century, that calls for 1) construction of an6 of 11innovative, competitive regional economy; 2) formation of a diverse regional culture thatprivileges the activity of self-reliant individuals; and 3) realization of a regional society that isopen to the world and overflowing with vitality.
4. We also call for focused promotion of sectors that are pegged for growth in the 21st century:1) medical care, home health care/barrier-free living, and wellness; 2) environmental
preservation and alternative energy; 3) information technology; and 4) agriculture andaquaculture, including biotechnology, plus the product research and development that supports
these sectors.
5. To accomplish the above, the Tohoku Bureau of Economy, Trade and Industry will advanceeconomy, trade and industry policy for the entire Tohoku bloc as its primary mission.
Concretely speaking, the bureau will promote the group of industries that promises future
growth, and advance strategic area-based initiatives, using the philosophy of “selectivity andconcentration.”
6. These tasks will require the bureau to consolidate its ability to 1) coordinate collaborative
projects, 2) propose and refine policy, 3) distribute information, and 4) gather intelligence.

Jeff Darling
Special Report
The Initiative towards a Competitive, Independent District
A Strategy for Tohoku’s Economic Industrial Policy in the 21st Century
Tohoku Ministry of Economy and Industry
Planning Department
On the occasion of our ministry’s name change from the Tohoku Ministry of Commerce andIndustry to the Tohoku Ministry of Economics and Industry, in accordance with thegovernment’s reorganization of its agencies on January 6th of this year, we took theopportunity to reevaluate our future image of Tohoku economics in the 21st century, recently
deciding on a basic direction toward bringing this dream into fruition, outlined in “TheInitiative towards a Competitive, Independent District - A Strategy for Tohoku’s Economic
Industrial Policy in the 21st Century,” hereafter referred to simply as “strategy 21”.
Our ministry plans to begin proposing “strategy 21” both from within and expanding outside ofour district, integrating the opinions and criticisms collected from all classes and segments ofsociety with the basic direction set out here, in order to draw up a more concrete action plan
to further develop the Tohoku Ministry of Economy and Industry’s new policy.
Through this new initiative, our ministry wants to use this window of opportunity to revamp not
only our name, “Tohoku Ministry of Economy and Industry”, but also the very core of our
ministry.
This strategy was devised by a committee of 20 experts from within and outside of our district,formed in September of last year, called “The Forum exploring a Strategy for Tohoku’s
Economic Industrial Policy in the 21st Century”, chaired by Dr. Osamu Shitadaira (aFukushima University professor), which met 4 times to share and consider all opinions.
Along with public presentations at various locations around the Tohoku district, our ministryplans to use our homepage and utilize all opportunities to present “strategy 21.”

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Outline of strategy 21
1. The Tohoku district has entered uncharted territory, where there is no precedent to follow
in solving the problems of the 21st century, including the gradual aging of our society, theprogress toward a global economy and the information age, the physical manifestations of ourenergy and environmental problems, the trend towards the decentralization of power as well as
the harsh reality of budgetary constraints.
2. In the midst of these circumstances, Tohoku must set its sights on regional programs aimed
at nurturing the wealth of human resources, moving away from the “catch up” model, onto a
more proactive model that stresses the development of an independent region.
3. With these concepts as our foundation, we will consider the future vision for the Tohoku’s
economy, bearing in mind the last quarter century, and take aim at realizinga. the development competitive, creative regional economies
b. the formation of communities where its individuals are instrumental in developing a variety
of projects
c. an energetic, enthusiastic community participating in the global market.
4. We will place emphasis on promoting fields that are expected to grow during the 21st
century, such as industries related toa. medical treatment, health and welfare
b. the environment and energy developmentc. informationd. food (including bio-technologies)
as well as “manufacturing” industries which support these industries.
5. In order to facilitate the growth of these industries, the Tohoku Ministry of Economy andIndustry, with an eye to advance the sizable Northeast district’s Regional Economic Industry
Policy, will focus on creating a region with a wealth of both choice and concentration ofindustrial enterprises. Specifically, it will realize this goal by cultivating those enterprises withpromising futures, and promoting regional strategic projects for these industries.
6. To advance these policies, our ministry will need to strengthen its role ina. coordinating and networking the regionb. establishing specific plans and strategies
c. disseminating information throughout the region
d. the accumulation and analysis of information.

Yoko Hasegawa
Featured Article“Development of an Autonomous Region with Competitive Power: Economic and Industrial
Policy Guidelines for the Tohoku Region in the 21st Century”
Planning Office, Tohoku Bureau of Economy, Trade and Industry
As a part of Central Government Reform, on January 6, 2001, the Tohoku Bureau ofInternational Trade and Industry has changed its name to the Tohoku Bureau of Economy,
Trade and Industry. Taking this opportunity to forecast the economy in Tohoku in the 21st

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Century, we have devised guidelines for regional economic and industrial policies, entitled“Development of an Autonomous Region with Competitive Power: Economic and Industrial
Policy Guidelines for the Tohoku Region in the 21st Century” (hereafter, the “Guidelines”).
We will promote these Guidelines broadly inside as well as outside our region and gladly accept
opinions and constructive criticism from the diverse constituencies of our society. Accordingly,
we will formulate more concrete action programs along the direction provided by the
Guidelines and institute our own political strategies.
Through these projects, we hope to be reborn as “Tohoku Bureau of Economy, Trade andIndustry” in both name and reality.
In order to formulate these Guidelines, twenty intellectuals from within and outside of the
Tohoku region were appointed in September 2000 to form an advisory committee (chaired byProfessor Isao Shimohirao, Fukushima University) on the creation of Guidelines for the Tohoku
region’s economic and industrial policies in the 21st Century. Committee members met fourtimes and generated recommendations in diverse areas.
Henceforth, we will publicize the Guidelines as widely as possible by hosting forums at various
locations in Tohoku as well as on our homepage, and by other means. The following
summarizes the Guidelines.
Summary
1. In the 21st century, Tohoku has been experiencing emerging constraints derived fromfull-fledged societal aging, advancement of a global and information-driven economy, marked
increase of environmental and energy problems, decentralization of political power, and atightening financial situation. No existing model can guide us on how to deal with these issues.
We have indeed entered an “era with no navigation chart.”
2. Under such circumstances, Tohoku needs to shift its old policy based on the Catch-up theWest Model to one that cultivates autonomous expansion. Promotion of competent humanresources development and their efficient utilization are also necessary.
3. Equipped with these understandings, we will aim during the first quarter of the 21st Century
at (i) building a creative and competitive regional economy, (ii) forming a participatory societyof independent individuals, and (iii) attaining a vigorous society ready to make inroads into theglobal market.
4. Furthermore, we emphasize promotion of the following industries expected to grow in the
21st Century as well as manufacturing industries supporting them: (i) medical, social welfare,
health, (ii) environment, energy, (iii) information technology, (iv) foodstuff, including
bio-industrial.
5. To this end, the Bureau promotes economic policies broadly applicable to the Tohoku
region as a whole, specifically those that foster industrial clusters in promising categories andlocally-initiated strategic projects, employing the principle of “selection and concentration.”
6. To promote these policies, we also need to fortify our functions of (i) coordination, (ii)planning, (iii) information dissemination, and (iv) data collection and analysis.

Camellia Nieh (2nd place)
Feature9 of 11Creating Competitive Self-Directing Regions
Paradigm for 21st Century Tohoku Economic and Industrial Policy
Planning Division, Tohoku Bureau of Economy, Trade, and Industry
In the reorganization of government Bureaus and ministries that took place on January 6th of
this year, the Tohoku Bureau of International Trade and Industry became the Tohoku Bureau
of Economy, Trade, and Industry. We have taken this opportunity to formulate the recent“Paradigm for 21st Century Tohoku Economic and Industrial Policy: Creating Competitive
Self-Directing Regions” (hereinafter referred to as “the Paradigm”), regarding the fundamental
direction of regional economic and industrial policy necessary to anticipate and realize theprospects for the Tohoku economy in the 21st century.
The Bureau plans to expose the Paradigm to a wide audience in the Tohoku region andbeyond, soliciting opinions and criticism from every sector and stratum of society as we devise
a more concrete action program in line with the fundamental principles outlined in the
Paradigm. In doing so, we will seek to develop new policies for the Tohoku Bureau of Economy,
Trade, and Industry.
In this way, we believe the Tohoku Bureau of Economy, Trade, and Industry will be rebornboth in name and in substance.
In formulating the Paradigm, a panel of experts from Tohoku and beyond was established in
September of last year. It was called the “Paradigm for the 21st Century Tohoku Region
Economic and Industrial Policy Council”, and was chaired by Professor Isao Shimohirao of
Fukushima University. The group met four times and provided the Bureau with a diverse range
of opinions.
The Bureau plans to hold briefings to explain the Paradigm at various locations throughout the
Tohoku region. The Paradigm will also be posted on the Bureau’s website and through as
many other venues as possible. The following is an outline of its content:
Overview(1) In the 21st century, the Tohoku region faces the true arrival of the aging society, economic
globalization and the information revolution, the emergence of environmental and energyrelated issues, and increased decentralization and fiscal stringency. The new era will be one ofuncharted waters, for which we have no problem-solving models.
(2) Within this context, it is imperative for Tohoku to shift from a reactive stance to aself-directed development model, while aspiring to establish communities that foster and utilizea broad base of human capital.
(3) Based on this understanding, Tohoku’s goals for the first quarter of the 21st century will
include: 1) the building of creative and competitive local economies, 2) the formation ofcommunities that foster broad-based participation by independent individuals, and 3) the
realization of dynamic local communities that are connected to global society.
(4) Moreover, emphasis will be placed on encouraging the following anticipated growthindustries of the 21st century: 1) medical-, welfare-, and health-related industries, 2)environment- and energy-related industries, 3) information-related industries, and 4)
food-related industries (including biotechnology), as well as the manufacturing businesses tosupport these industries.
(5) In order to achieve these goals, the Tohoku Bureau of Economy, Trade, and Industry will
pursue the basic strategy of promoting local economic and industrial policies throughout thebroad region of the Tohoku block. Specifically, we will foster the growth of groups of

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businesses in promising fields and encourage locally-initiated strategic projects, under the
rubric of "selectivity and concentration".
(6) In order to implement these policies, it will be necessary to strengthen the Bureau’scapabilities in the areas of 1) coordination, 2) planning, 3) information dissemination, and 4)
information collection and analysis.

Darren Botting (1st place)Special Report
Toward the Creation of an Autonomous Region with Competitive Power:
Shaping the Policy for 21st Century Economy and Industry in Tohoku
Planning Division, Tohoku Bureau of Economy, Trade and Industry
Following the name change from the Tohoku Bureau of International Trade and Industry to the
Tohoku Bureau of Economy, Trade and Industry, which was part of the reorganization of theJapanese government ministries and agencies of January 6, 2001, the newly named Bureau has
formulated a policy for the 21st century economy and industry in Tohoku. The policy:“Creating an Autonomous Region with Competitive Power: Policy for 21st Century Economy
and Industry in Tohoku” looks ahead to a future vision of the 21st century Tohoku economy
and outlines the basic directions in which the region’s economy and industry need to head inorder to achieve that vision.
Under its new title, the Bureau intends to present the policy for broad consideration bothwithin the Tohoku region and outside of the region in order to gather opinions and criticisms
from a wide variety of people. The Bureau plans to then develop the new policy by drawing up
more definite objectives, such as action programs, in line with the basic directions outlined inthis report.
The Bureau sees the development of this policy as a chance to make a fresh start in deed aswell as in name as the Tohoku Bureau of Economy, Trade and Industry.
To help develop the policy, the “Committee to Shape Tohoku’s Economy and Industry Policy
for the 21st Century” was established in September 2000. Comprising twenty experts fromboth within the Tohoku area and outside of the area and chaired by Fukushima University
professor Isao Shimohirao, the committee provided various suggestions for the policy in a totalof four meetings.
The Bureau plans to take every opportunity to present this policy through activities such as
posting details up on its website and holding explanatory meetings in all areas of Tohoku. The
following is an outline of the policy.
Outline(1) In the midst of factors including the full-scale arrival of the aged society, globalization of
the economy with advances in information and telecommunications technologies, the stringent
fiscal situation and the process of decentralization, and the manifestation of environment andenergy problems, 21st century Tohoku is entering an uncharted era for which there is no
proven problem solving model.
(2) In view of these circumstances, Tohoku needs to switch from the current catch-up model toa model for autonomous growth and in so doing aim to nurture and utilize its extensive humancapital.

11 of 11(3) Based on this recognition, and with the first quarter of the 21st century as its primaryconcern, the policy for the future of the Tohoku economy should aim to: (a) construct acreative regional economy with competitive power, (b) form regional communities in which
independent individuals take active parts in multi-participatory planning, and (c) develop
vibrant regional communities that are open to the world.
(4) The policy should also intensively promote the industries that are expected to grow in the
21st century: (a) medical care-, welfare-, and health-related industries, (b) environment- andenergy-related industries, (c) information-related industries, and (d) food-related industries(including bio), as well as the manufacturing industry, which supports all of these otherindustries.
(5) In order to achieve the various goals outlined above, the fundamental objective of the
Bureau should be to advance a broad-based industrial policy for the regional economies of the
Tohoku block. Specifically, from a perspective of “selection and focus,” the objectives should
be to promote strategic projects for regional development while identifying industrial areas withgood future prospects and nurturing groups of enterprises in those areas.
(6) To allow effective promotion of these policy objectives, the Bureau will also need tointensify its (a) coordination function, (b) planning design function, (c) information transmissionfunction, and (d) intelligence gathering and analysis function.

文責コンテスト実行委員
佐藤綾子 （Emily Shibata-Sato）