Common mistakes• “Sentences” without verbs• Question topic sentences• Line breaks• Citation form**Not actually a mistake. I just need to explain more.

Sentences without verbs• Grammar review
SUBJECT + VERB (+OPTIONAL) ← complete idea

Pandas exist.

Pandas are cute.
Pandas live mainly in Sichuan, Shanxi, and Gansu,China.
← not a complete idea
Because I like pandas.
I wrote these sentences because I like pandas.

Sentences without verbs• Ideas are most important…
• but grammar counts, too.

Question topicsDo you know “One Piece”? It is a manga. It is
my favorite.

Question topics• Writing differs from speaking.

• Formal writing differs from informal.
• Academic writing → topic sentence• Declarative sentence (not question)• Introduce the topic• Give information

Question topics
Do you know “One Piece”? It is a manga. It is
my favorite.
“One Piece” is a manga about a pirate who islooking for the ultimate treasure so he canbecome the pirate king.

Arbitrary line breaks• Write one paragraph; only one.

• Indent only the first line.

Arbitrary line breaks

First line
indented

Margins on top,bottom, left, andright

Next sentenceright after theone before it

Hungry Planet: What the World Eats, Shohakusha (2005) p.14

Arbitrary line breaks

Arbitrary line breaks
Notes about your process

No indentation
Sentence on a new line

Why is this indented?

Arbitrary line breaks
意味段落

↔

形式段落

Paragraph• A set of sentences that communicate one main idea.

Arbitrary line breaks

Arbitrary line breaks
First line
indented

Next sentenceright after theone before itArbitrary line breaks• Write one paragraph; only one.

• Indent only the first line.
• Don’t start a new sentence on a new line…

• it’s still the same paragraph.

Citation form
• It’s good to get ideas from sources.

• It’s sometimes OK to quote exact words.
• Say where the ideas or quotes come from.

Citation form
Although Japanese teachers say a danraku shouldhave a topic, Japanese writers often don’t follow thatadvice. Japanese newspaper columns, for example, starta new danraku about every 100 characters, often
without changing topics (Maynard 1998). Perhaps thisis one reason Japanese students misunderstand how towrite paragraphs.

Citation form
(lots more before this)apply this knowledge to writing both in Japanese and in English.
References

Maynard, Senko. 1998. Principles of Japanese Discourse.
Cambridge: Cambridge University Press.
“Paragraph”. 2015. Wikipedia. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ParagraphCitation form
• A citation has two parts:• name of the author (or web page) in the paragraph• all information (name, year, title, etc.) after it• Thank you, everyone who did this in paper 1.

Use an outline• During the “thinking” process, you choose a
topic and think of lots of ideas.
• During the “organizing” process, you choose
the best ideas and plan where to use them.
• Use an outline to help you make this plan.

Example: Thinking
turtleskayak

Backpack
swimming
suit

Vacation

HawaiiSnorkelfoodfishdolphinPacking
Big orlittlesuitcase?

Kaga onsen
crab

train

snowingExample: Choose the best ideas
turtleskayak

Backpack
swimming
suit

Vacation

HawaiiSnorkelfoodfishdolphinPacking
Big orlittlesuitcase?

Kaga onsen
crab

train

snowingExample: Choose the best ideas• Vacation• Hawaii• food• Snorkel• fish• dolphin• kayak• turtles

Example: Choose the best ideas• Vacation← Write a topic sentence• Hawaii● Vacation + Hawaii + 大喜び• food• Snorkel• fish• dolphin• kayak• turtles

Example: Topic sentence
I had a great time during my vacation in Hawaii.
• food• Snorkel• fish• dolphin• kayak• turtles

Example: Make an outline
I had a great time during my vacation in Hawaii.
• food• Snorkel• fish• dolphin• kayak• turtles←

Group similar ideas together

Example: Make an outline
I had a great time during my vacation in Hawaii.
1. Snorkel ← Put main ideas on the left margin.
A. fishMark them with a number.
B. dolphin

2. KayakA. turtles ← Move supporting details right.

Mark them with a letter.

Example: Make an outline
I had a great time during my vacation in Hawaii.
1. Snorkel ← This makes it easy to see where
A. fishto mark transitions in main ideas.

B. dolphin

2. KayakA. turtles

Try to have about equal support
B. bird sanctuary ← for each main idea.

Example: Use an outline
I had a great time during my vacation inHawaii. One of the activities I enjoyed wassnorkeling. Using a snorkel, I could see lots ofcolorful fish. I even saw a dolphin while I wassnorkeling. Another activity I enjoyed waskayaking. While paddling the kayak in the sea, I
could see turtles swimming near the surface.
Using the kayak I could visit a bird sanctuary ona small island. It was a fun vacation, so I want togo back to Hawaii.

Use an outline!
Using the writing steps we practice in class will
make writing easier.
• Thinking• Organizing• Writing• Revising(Easier is not necessarily easy, though.)Why use an outline?
An outline makes writing better organized.


Make sure you don't leave out any good ideas.



Make sure you don't include any irrelevant ideas.



Make sure your ideas are in a logical order.

Why use an outline?
An outline makes writing faster.


Most of the organizing is in the outline.
You don’t have to spend time thinking about what towrite next.

Why use an outline?
Using an outline improves English.


Since you've already done the hard work of thinking
and organizing, you can concentrate on English
words and grammar.
It’s easier to see where you should add transition
signals or repeat key words.

Why use an outline?
Using an outline improves English.


You don’t have to write the outline in English.
Even if you do use English, you don’t have tocorrect your grammar or spelling. The outline is justfor you.
Release your creative power to make the outline.
Then, use your English ability to turn it intosentences.

Balanced outlines

Make sure that the same kind of ideas (mainideas, details, examples) have the same kind ofnumber or letter.
Maker sure smaller, more specific ideas follow
the bigger ideas they support or relate to.
Make sure that each main idea has a similar
amount of support. (But it doesn’t have to be
exactly the same.)

Use an outline
I had a great time during my vacationin Hawaii. One of the activities I enjoyed
was snorkeling. Using a snorkel, I could seelots of colorful fish. I even saw a dolphin
while I was snorkeling. Another activity I
enjoyed was kayaking. While paddling the
kayak in the sea, I could see turtles
swimming near the surface. Using thekayak I could visit a bird sanctuary on asmall island. It was a fun vacation, so I
want to go back to Hawaii.

Outlines for revising• Making an outline of a paper can help you
revise or judge the paper.
• Is there enough support for the topic?
• Is the order clear and logical?

• If there are two or more major points, are the points
balanced?
• Does the paper include anything that does not
relate to the topic?

Outlines for revising
My hometown and my college town haveseveral things in common. First, both are small
rural communities. For example, my hometown
has a population of only about 10,000 people.
Similarly, my college town consists of about
11,000 local residents, but there are 15,000
people when the college students are attendingclasses. A second way in which these two towns
are similar is that they are both located infarming areas. My hometown is surrounded byfarmland which is devoted mainly to growing
corn and soybeans.
(adapted from Walters 2011, TOEFL-prep writing practice)Outlines for revising
My hometown and my college town have several
things in common.
A. 田舎
A. ふるさた：10,000人

B. 大学の町：11,000～15,000人

B. 農業
There is supporting detail about
A. 大豆、トウモロコシ
agriculture in my hometown, but
not in my college town.
If I remove agriculture, there will be only one supporting point. That’s
not enough, so I’ll add something about agriculture in my college town.