The English Page with Excerpts
What's "Falling in Love"?
What's "Marriage"?
Pastor Yoshihiro Okada"Our culture today expects that thenext step after "casual friends" is"boyfriend" or "girlfriend" and leaves
no room for guys and girls to get to know each other more. It
is not always so easy to get to know the opposite sex without
stimulating romantic emotions but I think the ideal is where
they can openly share at a deeper level of fellowship...""Many young people think that if there is no one whom they
have romantic feelings for, they don't have a potential marriage
partner. But what's important in marriage is not how andwhere you met the person nor feelings BEFORE the wedding,rather, how you are going to build up your relationship AFTER
you marry. So the true discovery of your partner is not themeeting him or her and deciding to marry, rather, how you
two are going to discover how to grow in oneness through theexperience of the marriage years.

Addictions and Behavior
Interview with Dr.Aikawa,
Christian Psychiatrist"Typically, people are in denial of theiraddictions. So the whole family may besuffering due to an alcohol addiction, but theperson refuses to admit it and will not seek professional help...InJapan, there may be as many as 3 in 100 people who are
addicted to alcohol.""Trying to help the addicted can make matters worse in thecase of conflicting opinions where the family sees the addiction
and wants to help but the addicted person is in denial anddoesn't want help. In the case of a physical injury, both parties
can agree on the need for surgical treatment, but in addictions,
if the person doesn't see the need for help, the healing process
can't begin...""I think addiction is very similar to sin. A person's behavior isaffected by addiction and many times he or she begins to lie,
to deceive and become increasingly self-centered. If it's alcohol,
his life centers around drinking and the family ceases to takepriority. From the family's perspective it is extremely selfish,
and this is exactly the nature of sin..."Just being there is often more important than actually steppingin to help. It forces the person to seek out recovery on theirown...Much like the Prodical Son, you have to let them go sothey will come for help of their own volition... This is called'tough love.'"30

family forum No.58

Homosexuality and Me No. 4
Anonymous"In the midst of a fever of over 40 degrees, constant coughing,unbearable pain all over my body, nausea, and dizziness, Godassured me through scripture that he was sending me tothe hospital for a purpose. He spoke to my heart to believe
to win the hospital for the Gospel... This word gave me great
encouragement in my heart...""At first I wondered how I could witness since I was assigned
a private room, but little by little nurses began to talk and I
was able to share one on one about God's grace and salvation
without fear of intimidation from other patients...""The nurse told me that most AIDS patients don't have anyvisitors. However, in contrast, people from the church came tovisit me every day. By the grace of God I never felt lonely evenafter they left to go home. The Lord taught me the privilegeof prayer, too and I prayed for all who came to visit me at thehospital "sending them back out" with a blessing on their life
and witness..."

DVD Released in Japanese"The Privileged Planet"
Is our world a result of chance ordesign? Increasingly, astronomers andcosmologists are finding that Earthis no ordinary planet, but rather avery special and privileged one thathas been precisely "fine-tuned" forthe existence of complex life. This
provocative DVD produced by NASAscientists brings out the wonders of
an intelligently designed world standing as a testimony to thescriptures which declare that in the beginning God created theheavens and the earth.
Good for showing along with its twin production "Unlocking theMystery of Life".

Book Review:
The Five Love Languages of Children
After writing his book for married
couple titled "The Five Love
Languages", Gary Chapman has
written a book on how parents cancommunicate love to their children.
The five languages are, physicaltouch, words of affirmation, quality
time, gifts, and acts of service.
Unfortunately, a child tends to think

FamilyForumNo.58
that he is not loved if the parents do not express love in away that is felt by him. Questions in the book help parents todiscover how their child perceives love so they can express it
more effectively.
Book Review:
Toxic Parents
Psychologist Susan Forward
unapologetically calls deficientparents who cripple children withemotional abuse "toxic parents".
The book is mainly in two parts.
The first deals with identifying thetoxic parent, and the second withovercoming the hurtful legacy andreclaiming one's life.

Ask Pastor Hori
Q. We are married with two children, but forthe past two years we haven't had any sex.
When I approach my husband he just says
"I'm too tired" and doesn't show any interest.
What can I do?
A. "Usually sexlessness is not a isolated issue. It shows up as a
symptom when there are other relationship problems...".
"There are different possibilities... dysfunction due to stress, a
perception that it's unnecessary due to a lack of desire, the lackof deep communication between the couple, or because life has
become a routine and the romantic fire has gone out...""Couples need to talk about it and find out the reason...""As Christians we need to cultivate Agape love whichencompasses much more than sex..."Movie Review: Amazing Grace
This movie tells the inspiring true
story of British politician WilliamWilberforce and his long battle
in parliament to abolish the slave
trade. Portrayed are John Newton
and William Pitt encouraging him
in the struggle and also his deep
faith in God which carries him
through 26 grueling years to final
victory in the passage of the Slave
Trade Act of 1807.

Movie Review: Up
A great Disney movie created byPixar Animations full of humor,
adventure and good values which
the whole family can enjoy. The
story is about two unlikely travelingcompanions, a grumpy old man
and an 8 year old boy, who fly toSouth America on a house carriedby helium balloons. They have tolearn to work together and save an exotic bird from a deranged
genius... If you enjoyed Toy Story, your family will love this one,too. (Rated PG for some peril and action)

Katie Cole's Cookie Recipe"You might say that cookies are
an integral part of the American
culture and so cookies played a big
part in my family while growing
up. My mother was an expert at
baking cookies and she taught us three girls how to make goodcookies...""Let me share with you one of my favorite recipes--sugarcookies with easy-to-make icing..."Raising Girlsby Jon Benedict"For our girls, marrying a Christian man is thefirst and foremost condition in choosing a life
partner. But this is not so easy for women in
Japan today because there are approximately
half the number of Christian men compared to women in thechurch, leaving many women with no Christian choice...""...What can we do? We cannot just hope and wait. The time
has come for us to intentionally plan and encourage our young
people to meet other Christians for the purpose of courting or
serious dating with marriage in mind. We need to encourage
men to reach out to men with the gospel, teach young men togrow up, focus on marriage and become more responsible adults,
and connect with pastors and youth beyond our denominational
circles...""...The very things that an unequally yoked couple are notcompatible in and miss out on (II Cor. 6:14 〜 18) are the things
that a Christian couple can richly enjoy the benefits of. The
equally yoked couple is able to enjoy 'partnership', 'fellowship','harmony', 'common interest', and 'agreement' in their marriage
because both are believers..."family forum No.58

29

The English Page with Excerpts
What's "Falling in Love"?
What's "Marriage"?
Pastor Yoshihiro Okada"Our culture today expects that thenext step after "casual friends" is"boyfriend" or "girlfriend" and leaves
no room for guys and girls to get to know each other more. It
is not always so easy to get to know the opposite sex without
stimulating romantic emotions but I think the ideal is wherethey can openly share at a deeper level of fellowship...""Many young people think that if there is no one whom they
have romantic feelings for, they don't have a potential marriage
partner. But what's important in marriage is not how andwhere you met the person nor feelings BEFORE the wedding,rather, how you are going to build up your relationship AFTER
you marry. So the true discovery of your partner is not themeeting him or her and deciding to marry, rather, how you
two are going to discover how to grow in oneness through theexperience of the marriage years.

Addictions and Behavior
Interview with Dr.Aikawa,
Christian Psychiatrist"Typically, people are in denial of theiraddictions. So the whole family may besuffering due to an alcohol addiction, but theperson refuses to admit it and will not seek professional help...InJapan, there may be as many as 3 in 100 people who areaddicted to alcohol.""Trying to help the addicted can make matters worse in thecase of conflicting opinions where the family sees the addiction
and wants to help but the addicted person is in denial anddoesn't want help. In the case of a physical injury, both parties
can agree on the need for surgical treatment, but in addictions,
if the person doesn't see the need for help, the healing process
can't begin...""I think addiction is very similar to sin. A person's behavior isaffected by addiction and many times he or she begins to lie,
to deceive and become increasingly self-centered. If it's alcohol,
his life centers around drinking and the family ceases to takepriority. From the family's perspective it is extremely selfish,
and this is exactly the nature of sin..."Just being there is often more important than actually steppingin to help. It forces the person to seek out recovery on theirown...Much like the Prodical Son, you have to let them go sothey will come for help of their own volition... This is called'tough love.'"

30family forum No.58

Homosexuality and Me No. 4
Anonymous"In the midst of a fever of over 40 degrees, constant coughing,unbearable pain all over my body, nausea, and dizziness, Godassured me through scripture that he was sending me tothe hospital for a purpose. He spoke to my heart to believe
to win the hospital for the Gospel... This word gave me great
encouragement in my heart...""At first I wondered how I could witness since I was assigned
a private room, but little by little nurses began to talk and I
was able to share one on one about God's grace and salvation
without fear of intimidation from other patients...""The nurse told me that most AIDS patients don't have any
visitors. However, in contrast, people from the church came tovisit me every day. By the grace of God I never felt lonely evenafter they left to go home. The Lord taught me the privilegeof prayer, too and I prayed for all who came to visit me at thehospital "sending them back out" with a blessing on their life
and witness..."

DVD Released in Japanese"The Privileged Planet"
Is our world a result of chance ordesign? Increasingly, astronomers andcosmologists are finding that Earthis no ordinary planet, but rather avery special and privileged one thathas been precisely "fine-tuned" forthe existence of complex life. This
provocative DVD produced by NASAscientists brings out the wonders of
an intelligently designed world standing as a testimony to thescriptures which declare that in the beginning God created theheavens and the earth.
Good for showing along with its twin production "Unlocking theMystery of Life".

Book Review:
The Five Love Languages of Children
After writing his book for married
couple titled "The Five Love
Languages", Gary Chapman has
written a book on how parents cancommunicate love to their children.
The five languages are, physicaltouch, words of affirmation, quality
time, gifts, and acts of service.
Unfortunately, a child tends to think

FamilyForum
No.58
that he is not loved if the parents do not express love in a
way that is felt by him. Questions in the book help parents todiscover how their child perceives love so they can express it
more effectively.
Book Review:
Toxic Parents
Psychologist Susan Forward
unapologetically calls deficientparents who cripple children withemotional abuse "toxic parents".
The book is mainly in two parts.
The first deals with identifying thetoxic parent, and the second withovercoming the hurtful legacy andreclaiming one's life.

Ask Pastor HoriQ. We are married with two children, but forthe past two years we haven't had any sex.
When I approach my husband he just says
"I'm too tired" and doesn't show any interest.
What can I do?
A. "Usually sexlessness is not a isolated issue. It shows up as a
symptom when there are other relationship problems...".
"There are different possibilities... dysfunction due to stress, a
perception that it's unnecessary due to a lack of desire, the lackof deep communication between the couple, or because life has
become a routine and the romantic fire has gone out...""Couples need to talk about it and find out the reason...""As Christians we need to cultivate Agape love which
encompasses much more than sex..."Movie Review: Amazing Grace
This movie tells the inspiring true
story of British politician William
Wilberforce and his long battle
in parliament to abolish the slave
trade. Portrayed are John Newton
and William Pitt encouraging him
in the struggle and also his deep
faith in God which carries him
through 26 grueling years to final
victory in the passage of the Slave
Trade Act of 1807.

Movie Review: UpA great Disney movie created by
Pixar Animations full of humor,
adventure and good values which
the whole family can enjoy. The
story is about two unlikely travelingcompanions, a grumpy old man
and an 8 year old boy, who fly toSouth America on a house carriedby helium balloons. They have tolearn to work together and save an exotic bird from a deranged
genius... If you enjoyed Toy Story, your family will love this one,
too. (Rated PG for some peril and action)

Katie Cole's Cookie Recipe"You might say that cookies are
an integral part of the American
culture and so cookies played a big
part in my family while growing
up. My mother was an expert at
baking cookies and she taught us three girls how to make goodcookies...""Let me share with you one of my favorite recipes--sugarcookies with easy-to-make icing..."Raising Girlsby Jon Benedict"For our girls, marrying a Christian man is thefirst and foremost condition in choosing a life
partner. But this is not so easy for women in
Japan today because there are approximately
half the number of Christian men compared to women in thechurch, leaving many women with no Christian choice...""...What can we do? We cannot just hope and wait. The time
has come for us to intentionally plan and encourage our young
people to meet other Christians for the purpose of courting or
serious dating with marriage in mind. We need to encourage
men to reach out to men with the gospel, teach young men togrow up, focus on marriage and become more responsible adults,and connect with pastors and youth beyond our denominational
circles...""...The very things that an unequally yoked couple are notcompatible in and miss out on (II Cor. 6:14 〜 18) are the things
that a Christian couple can richly enjoy the benefits of. The
equally yoked couple is able to enjoy 'partnership', 'fellowship','harmony', 'common interest', and 'agreement' in their marriage
because both are believers..."family forum No.58

29