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2012 JET-MIP ESSAYSEPTEMBER, 2012: BREEZE ISSUE #59
A FREE MONTHLY E-NEWSLETTER FOR FRIENDS OF JAPAN & TEACHERS OF JAPANESEANNA MAI
Jesuit High School
Portland, OR

THE TELL-TALE HEART
I am a highly organized individual who packs efficiently andnever forgets anything behind when I travel. Before I leave
hotels, I open all the drawers and closets and check under thebeds and in the shower at least twice. So far, this approach has
paid off, and I have never left anything behind, particularlyoverseas. I have traveled all over Europe and never left so muchas a sock, so I thought Japan would be the same. I took thesame precautions, kept an eye on my luggage, and made ithome all in one piece--or so I thought. I didn't realize what was
missing until the day after arriving back in the States when I
woke with a terrible ache in my chest. I left my heart in Japan,and I will have to go back if I want any hope of retrieving it.
The first step toward finding a lost item is thinking about where
one last remembers seeing it. Unfortunately, I have no idea
where or with whom I left my heart. Perhaps it is with our tour guide in Rikuzentakata or at Hotel Boyo inKesennuma. Maybe I left it with the Kiwi Club in Ishinomaki or my host family in Sakai. I even could haveleft it at the Institute, Aeon Mall, or Rinku Town. Most likely, I left a piece of it at every place we visited
with everyone we met, and I will never be able to extricate it fully.
One reason I know that retrieving my heart will be difficult is the simple fact that the first impression thecountry and its people made on me was deep. Even before leaving Kansai International Airport I could feelthe spirit of Japan, though I did not know what it was at the time. Only after returning to the States, have I
been able to identify exactly what I experienced.
Japan is a warm, welcoming country because it is filled with people who care. From the simple greeting ofa 7-Eleven employee to the lack of trash on the streets and peaceful quiet of the subways, Japandemonstrates its consideration for both the community and the individual. Such precursory impressions
are only strengthened when one makes individual connections and comes to know the people of Japan on
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Over the course of the program, I made connections discussing language interest and cultural differenceswith teachers and chaperones on the program as well as with members of the Kiwi Club and our tour
guides in Sendai. Each person I connected with was kind, respectful, and harbored a quiet openness ofspirit that encouraged others to share—from the shyest girl at the Kiwi Club gathering to the mostoutgoing Senboku student. Surrounded by such people, I felt welcomed and at home, so it comes as nosurprise that my host family became my second family and their home my home away from home.
While I was with my host family, there were moments when I missed my own home, but now that I am backin the States, I miss my Japanese family and wish that I could've spent more time with them and come toknow them better. My greatest regret of the program is that I was not more fluent in Japanese so that I
could have become closer with them and all the other people that I met. For this reason, my determination
to continue Japanese studies has increased exponentially, and I find kanji flash cards and e-NA sites to be
more dangerous procrastination tools than Facebook.
When I returned to the States, my family quickly picked up on these changes within me. They could see
the effects of my missing heart in compulsory Facebook checking for news from Japan, an insatiable
desire for rice and matcha, and outright moping. They asked if I was okay. They asked if I needed sushi.
Of course I said yes to both questions, but what I really wanted was Japan.
The one thing that could ease my aching heart and bring a smile to my face without fail was talking about
the awesome country I experienced, so two days after I arrived back in the States, I made a presentationof my trip to my extended family. They were surprised to see the extent of the disaster's effects in theTohoku region but were also impressed by the resilience and continual hope of the Tohoku people. When I
spoke of the spirit of Japan that I felt, my relatives who had traveled to Japan in the past were able torelate, and their connection eased some of the frustration that I had felt coming back to America. I had felt
as though no one understood why I had lost my heart—after all, I had never lost anything during myprevious travels—but after sharing I realized that what I felt was a sentiment shared by many who have
traveled to Japan and built relationships with its people and culture, including Taylor Anderson and Monty
Dickson.
Before I went to Japan, it was difficult to describe the reason for which I was going. I knew the program
was in memorial of Taylor and Monty, but I was not sure what bringing thirty-two high school students toJapan would accomplish. However, over the course of the program, I learned about Taylor and Monty'spassion for and dedication to the Japanese language, culture, and people, and I felt my own passion anddedication grow. Just as my relatives who had traveled to Japan related with my experience, I related with
Monty and Taylor's. They helped me understand why I lost my heart in Japan because through theirlegacies, I knew that they had lost theirs too.
As a famous Japanese poet wrote and Monty Dickson translated, "The most beautiful thing is to live one'slife for a cause." Both Monty and Taylor lived beautiful lives, and I am often struck with amazement by thebreadth and depth of their affect on my life and on all the lives they touched. The beauty of their lives was
such that it enriched the lives of others and left the world a more beautiful place for their having been init. Their legacies inspire me to live my life in a similar manner as they did, and for that I have nothing butgratitude. Even though the emptiness in my chest pains me, I can say with confidence that I am glad tohave lost my heart in Japan. I would not have it any other way.

NIPPON THROUGH MY EYES PHOTO SUBMISSION"YOKOTA"

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A VIEW OF THE RICE FIELDS AND TOWN OVERLOOKEDBY HILLS.

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2012 Japanese American Leadership Delegation2012 JET-MIP Essay: Andrew Juarez

2012 JET-MIP Essay: Andrew Kim

2012 JET-MIP Essay: Anna Lee

2012 JET-MIP Essay: Anna Mai

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