by not trying to change another’s mind.
This does not mean we can never mention
religion, but our focus is on our own
spiritual growth and a concept of a Higher
Power that is right for us.
Why do we continue to study the Steps?
Each time we return to a Step ourunderstanding of it grows. Many times
members have commented that inrereading a Step they saw a word or phrase
they had never noticed before, and this added
new meaning for them. As our self-awarenessgrows, we see more and different ways toapply a Step to our lives. We find that theSteps can actually be applied to everythingthat is happening in our lives.

How do we work the Steps?
There is no right or wrong way to work theSteps, but most members find it beneficial
to do them in order. Without the basis ofwhat is learned about ourselves in theearlier Steps, it is difficult to gain thebenefits of the later Steps. It is helpful toread the book, Emotions Anonymous, andEA’s 12x12 booklet, which provide a guidefor working the Twelve Steps. This
literature gives direction in doing the Steps
and when shared with a sponsor or
another EA member helps us to learn trust
and unconditional love—perhaps for the
first time.
What is a sponsor?
A sponsor is someone who is working theTwelve Steps and is willing to share his or
her experience and knowledge with others.

A sponsor is someone who is detached fromour situation and can help us see how we
can use the EA program in our daily lives.
How do we choose a sponsor?
Choosing a sponsor is a very personal
decision. Listen to what people have to say
in meetings and find someone you can trustand with whom you feel comfortable. It isbeneficial to choose someone who has
achieved some level of recovery from thisprogram. Ask them to tell you how they didit. It is usually not helpful to choose
someone with whom you can commiserate.
It is all right to change sponsors if you findthat person is not providing what you needfor growth in the EA program. If a request
for sponsorship is declined, this need notcause hurt feelings. No one is obligated tobe a sponsor. An individual may not be in aplace to provide the kind of support asponsee needs. Ask someone else and trust
your Higher Power’s decision.

How Our Meetings
WorkHow long will I need to attend meetings?
We recommend that you attend six totwelve meetings before you decide if EA isright for you. Most people find the Stepsand this program to be confusing at first,
and it usually takes a couple meetings toactually begin the process of recovery. We
encourage you to try different meetings inyour area to find the one where you feel themost comfortable.
P.O. Box 4245
St. Paul, MN 55104-0245© 1995 Emotions Anonymous International —Item #37
EA-approved literature. This pamphlet may be
reproduced for free distribution.

www.emotionsanonymous.org
651-647-9712

Why is this a Step meeting?
Our meetings are structured to assist
individuals who want to achieve andmaintain emotional health byunderstanding and utilizing the Twelve
Steps of Emotions Anonymous in their daily
lives. We have found that these Steps are
essential for bringing about personalchange, growth, and recovery. At many
meetings, different Steps are discussed eachweek, members share how they use theStep and how the Step helps them. We
learn more about each Step from hearing
the ideas of others.
What if we haven’t worked the Step thegroup is on that week?
No one is excluded from participating in a
meeting because he or she is a newcomeror has not yet worked the Step being
discussed. We can always share our feelings
about the Step and what we do or do notunderstand about it. It doesn’t matter what
Step the group is on when we first come toa meeting. As we listen we can usuallyrelate to what others are sharing.
Why don’t we discuss our problems?
We find it is more productive to discuss
solutions rather than problems. Before
coming to Emotions Anonymous, most of us
spent many hours discussing our problems
and, as a result, we were focused on being
victims of those problems. We felt sorry forourselves and this did not help. If ourmeetings are consumed with each of us
describing how terrible our week has been,
how unhappy we are with ourselves and thepeople in our lives, we will gain very little

knowledge or insight. As we focus on theTwelve Steps in our sharing, we can oftentie our emotional problems directly to theStep being discussed and thereby gain
insight into how to apply this Step to oursituation. We leave the meeting feeling
optimistic and hopeful because we havenew ideas of how to deal with ourproblems, and we see how we can makepositive changes.
Why do we discourage cross talk andfeedback during the meeting?
Cross talk is interrupting someone bybreaking in with unsolicited remarks during
the speaker’s time for sharing. Anotherexample is indulging in side discussions withsomeone while the speaker is talking. Thisdistracts others from what the speaker issaying. By eliminating cross talk andfeedback, all members have a chance toshare, if they desire, without their remarks
being questioned or suggestions madeabout what they should do. In this way, thepurpose of our meeting remains to focus on
ourselves and our own recovery rather thangiving advice to others.
Sometimes a newer member will ask for
feedback on a specific problem. Taking time
during the meeting to do this can deprive
others of their time to share or can distract
everyone from the topic of the meeting. If
someone wants suggestions, it is usually
better to take time before or after themeeting for such a discussion. Telephone
calls between members during the week
can be a good way to share experiences in amore personal way than is possible in a
meeting. The best support we can give toanyone is to listen and share our experience
with the Twelve Steps.
What if someone strays from the subject ofthe meeting?
It is important for the entire group that amember not wander off the Step into
personal rambling and complaints. If thisoccurs very often, any member (not only
the person managing the meeting thatweek) may gently, politely, and respectfully
remind the person to return to discussing
the meeting topic. This is one instance when
an interruption is appropriate.
Who manages the meeting ?
When a new meeting is started, the person
establishing it will usually manage it for the
first few meetings and then ask if anyone
would like to volunteer to lead the next
meeting. Usually by that time othermembers are comfortable enough toparticipate in this way. The leader is simply
someone who is willing to follow thesuggested format and begin and end themeeting on time. No one is ever coerced
into leading if they choose not to.
Why don’t we discuss religion?
The Twelve Steps focus on a belief in a
Higher Power of our understanding. We
may be accustomed to being part of othergroups whose goal is agreement regarding
beliefs. Therefore, it can be startling at firstto realize that in a room full of EA members,
it is okay for every person to have a
different concept of a Higher Power or noconcept at all. In EA we respect one another