Back from the

Back from the Bluez
Module 3
The Thinking-Feeling Connection

CCThe Thinking-Feeling Connection

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Making the Connection

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Module Summary

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About the Modules

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Back from theThe Thinking-FeelingConnection

People often believe that the feelings and emotions they experience are determined by external events, situations,and the behaviour of others. For example, we may hear ourselves say, “My boss made me so nervous,” “Mypartner made me so angry,” “This trip down south made me feel so relaxed,” or “I’m depressed because I didn’t
get the job I wanted.” What is the assumption underlying these statements? That someone or something otherthan ourselves was directly determining the feelings we experienced.
We come to these conclusions automatically without asking ourselves if this assumption is true. However, if westop to analyse the process that links an external situation to our emotional responses, we will find that there is astep in between.

How Our Thoughts Influence Our Feelings

What really makes us feel and respond the way we do, is often not the situation or the words and actions ofanother person, but how we perceive that situation or that person’s actions. It is how we see something or
someone and what we think about it or them that really influences how we feel. It is ourthoughts and beliefs about an event that significantly influences our emotions and actions.
Here’s an example. Suppose you went to a party and your host introduces you to Mike. As
you talk to him, you notice that he does not look directly at you but often looks around theroom. How would you feel if you thought, “Boy, this guy is so rude! He won’t even look at me
while I’m talking with him! How nasty!” What if you thought, “Mike must think that I’m reallyunattractive and uninteresting. I must be a really boring person. Nobody wants to talk to me!”What about if you were to think, “Mike’s probably waiting for a friend to come. Maybe he’s getting a bit anxious.”
You probably realised that you felt three different emotions as a result of those three different thoughts. Often,
we are not aware of our thoughts and beliefs because they are so automatic and happen quickly. But they are
there, and they affect the way we feel.

What am I Feeling?

It is often difficult to know exactly what we are feeling, and sometimes it can also be difficult to put it into words.
The list below contains words that describe feelings, and this might be a useful starting point in you being able tounderstand the connection between your thinking and your feelings.
Tense
AnnoyedUnhappy
CalmAnxious
Depressed
Angry

Words that Describe Feelings
EnragedFrightened
HappyPanicky
Exhilarated
Frustrated
Keyed up
ScaredIrritated
Flat
JoyfulTired
Excited
NervousCheerfulEuphoricMad
UneasySad
Discouraged
JealousThis is only a limited list but it should give you an idea of the kinds of words we could use to describe our feelings.

Automatic Thoughts

Just as we are not always conscious of the way we walk or how we drive a car, we are often not aware of ourthinking. Some of our thinking is so habitual that it is automatic, and just like driving, when things are automatic,we might not be conscious of them. All of the time, our brains are turning over thoughts and ideas. However, weare not consciously aware of most of them because it happens relatively fast and we are not accustomed toslowing them down. Our automatic thoughts, however, play an important role in our emotional well-being.

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Back from theThere are three kinds of automatic thoughts:
Neutral thoughts, e.g. "I think I will buy some bread today."Positive thoughts, e.g. "This is something I can do really well."
Negative thoughts, e.g. "I often find it hard to concentrate – I must be really stupid."
Automatic thoughts often reflect worries and concerns, however they can be about anything at all, anything wehave ever seen, heard or learned. In addition, it can be anything we know about from any source at all. Obviously,
though, negative automatic thoughts are the ones that can cause us emotional distress. People
who are depressed tend to think negative thoughts about themselves, the world about them,and their future, and it is these thoughts that can be changed to lift your depression.

Feelings are not Thoughts
When we first try to distinguish thoughts from feelings, it can be easy to confuse them. We
might be used to talking about thoughts and feelings as being part of the same experience, but it is more helpful toseparate them and remember that feelings are not thoughts. For example, you might hear a person saying “I think
I’m anxious,” but they’re probably thinking “Everyone will laugh at me,” and feel anxious. More commonly, youmight hear someone saying something like “I feel that my partner doesn’t appreciate the gift I bought for him,”
when they are actually thinking “My partner doesn’t appreciate the gift I bought for him,” and feel hurt.
Try the exercise on the following page and see if you can identify the possible feelings and thoughts in each of thescenarios. Remember to try and make the distinction between thoughts and feelings.

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Back from the

Making the Connection
Part One

Read the following scenarios and identify the feelings that may result from the self-statements.
Scenario IYou’ve had a rather long and tiring day at work where you were helping a colleague move boxes of stationery andoffice equipment. You arrive home to find the front door ajar and two sets of muddy footprints (your son’s andhis dog’s) on your cream-coloured carpet leading from the front door all the way to the back door.
A) You say to yourself:

Possible Feelings:“What! N@!^#*M!! I’ve had such a tiring day at work andnow I come home to this!?!! What have I done to deservethis! We just had the carpet cleaned last week! That naughty
boy! All he cares about is himself! That inconsiderate, selfish
brat! I’m gonna ground him for 2 years!!!”_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

B) You say to yourself:

Possible Feelings:“I’ve told him a thousand times not to bring the dog into thehouse and he never listens to me. My kids don’t obey eventhe simplest instructions. I must be the worst mother in theworld. If I can’t even get this right, I must be a terrible
failure.”_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Scenario II
One evening, your parents ask you to go over to their house for dinner. As you arrive, you noticed that it was all
dark and there were no lights on. You knock on the door and ring the doorbell but no one comes to answer thedoor. You turn the doorknob and find that the door is unlocked. You step in and find that the house is in total
darkness. Suddenly, you hear a chorus of voices shouting, “Surprise!” The lights come on and you see a group of
your friends and relatives singing “Happy Birthday” to you.
Possible Feelings:

A) You say to yourself:“Wow! I didn’t even remember that it was my birthday!
What a really nice surprise! Hey, even uncle James and aunt
Bertha came and they live in the country! Everyone must
think I’m pretty important to throw me this party!

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Back from thePart Two

Read the following scenarios and now fill in the self-statements that lead to the feelings experienced.
Scenario I
You arrive home to find a note from your flatmate telling you that they have moved out. You look around andfind that everything that belongs to them is gone. Moreover, their share of the rent has not been paid.
A) You say to yourself:________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Possible Feelings:

B) You say to yourself:

Possible Feelings:________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Angry

Hurt

Scenario II
You just finished cooking dinner for you and you partner. Your partner calls to say that he/she will not be homefor dinner because he/she has to work late.
A) You say to yourself:
Possible Feelings:________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________B) You say to yourself:________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

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Disappointed

Possible Feelings:
Concerned

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Back from theModule Summary••••••

People often think that the feelings they experience are caused by external
events, situations, and the actions of others, but it is what we think about thesethings that really determines how we feelSpecifically, it is our thoughts and beliefs about the situation or person thatmakes us feel and respond the way we doThoughts come automatically to us and we are often not conscious of how orwhat we are thinking
There are 3 kinds of automatic thoughts: neutral, positive, and negative
If we feel distressed, it is often because we are thinking particularly negative
thoughts that contribute to us feeling distressed
If we want to improve how we feel, we need to begin by becoming more awareof what we are thinking and changing our thoughts

Stay Tuned...
In the next module, we will discuss how to
become more aware of our thoughts and how
to identify the thoughts that cause us to feel
distressed or depressed.

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Back from theAbout The Modules
BACKGROUNDThis module was created in the early 2000s by Clinical Psychologists at the Centre for ClinicalInterventions, under the supervision of the Centre’s Founding Director, Paula Nathan.
The concepts and strategies in these modules have been developed from evidence based psychologicalpractice, primarily Cognitive-Behaviour Therapy (CBT). CBT for depression and anxiety is based on theapproach that depression and anxiety are the result of problematic cognitions (thoughts) and behaviours.

REFERENCES
These are some of the professional references used to create the modules in this information package.
Beck, A. T., Rush, A. J. , Shaw, B. F., Emery, G. (1979). Cognitive Therapy of Depression. New York: The
Guildford Press.
Beck, J.S. (1995) Cognitive therapy: Basics and beyond. New York: The Guilford Press
Barlow, D.H. (2001). Clinical handbook of psychological disorders: A step-by-step treatment manual (3rded.) New York: The Guilford Press
Clark, M.D. & Fairburn, C.C. (1997) Science and practice of cognitive behaviour therapy. Oxford:Oxford University Press
Dobson, K.S., & Craig, K.A. (1998) Empirically supported therapies: Best practice in professional
psychology. Thousand Oaks: SageHawton, K., Salkovskis, P.M., Kirk, J., & Clark, D.M. (1989) Cognitive behaviour therapy for psychiatricproblems: A practical guide. Oxford: Oxford University Press
Nathan, P.E. & Gorman, J.M. (2002) (Eds.) A guide to treatments that work (2nd ed.) New York: Oxford
University Press.

“BACK FROM THE BLUEZ”
This module forms part of:Nathan, P., Rees, C., Lim, L., & Correia, H. (2003). Back from the Bluez. Perth, Western Australia: Centrefor Clinical Interventions

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