Perfectionism
In Perspective

Perfectionism in Perspective
Module 4

Changing Perfectionism
Introduction

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Weighing up the helpful and harmful aspects of perfectionism

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Change Process Balance Sheet - worksheet

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What will changing perfectionism involve?

4

Am I ready to change?

4

The next step: Setting goals for change

5

Coping tips

7

Obstacles to overcoming my perfectionism

7

Module Summary

9

About This Module

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Perfectionism
In PerspectiveIntroduction
You have now been introduced to the idea that perfectionism is maintained in a vicious cycle. Given thatsociety values the pursuit of high standards and perfectionism and there may be positive consequences ofyour perfectionism, it makes sense to question whether or not this is something you actually want tochange. In this module, we will be helping you weigh up the costs and benefits of staying the same and thecosts and benefits of changing your perfectionism. We will also be telling you what will be involved if you
decide to change your perfectionism. You are the only person who can decide whether the standards you
set for yourself are unreasonable and costly. It is now time to decide whether or not you would like toadjust the standards you set for yourself. Don’t procrastinate... the time to make this decision is now!

Weighing Up the Helpful and Harmful Aspects of Perfectionism
In Module 1 we identified that perfectionism has some positive and some negative aspects. In other words,
being a perfectionist can be either helpful and healthy, or unhelpful and harmful to you. Often we find that
it affects people in both ways. To help you identify the impact of perfectionism in your life, it is important
to weigh up both the positive and the negative consequences of being a perfectionist.
To help you decide whether you want to change your perfectionism and loosen your unrelenting highstandards, we encourage you to complete the worksheet overleaf.

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Change Process Balance Sheet

Take a moment to think about your unrelenting high standards/perfectionism…
List the negative consequences of pursuing
List the positive consequences of pursuingunrelenting high standards/ perfectionism. (For unrelenting high standards/ perfectionism.

example, you might give up too easily on tasks, or miss out onrelaxation because you are focused on achievement-basedactivities)(For example, people praise you when you work hard, or you
might believe that setting high standards motivates you to tryharder)

List the personal benefits that you expect if
you loosen unrelenting high standards/
perfectionism. Think about a general goal and how you

List the personal costs that you expect if youloosen your unrelenting high standards/
perfectionism. What will you need to give up in order towill have to change in order to achieve it. (For example, if yourgoal is “to be able to delegate tasks to others at work” there
might be more time to spend at home with your family)change? (For example, perhaps doing things differently will takeyou out of your comfort zone)

What did you learn from doing this exercise? How ready for change do you think you are? Take a few
moments to jot down your thoughts.

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What Will Changing Perfectionism Involve?
Relaxing unrelenting high standards and thinking in shades of grey
Remember back in Module 3 when we talked about black and white thinking and how that keeps
perfectionism going? For example, “If I don’t scrub my kitchen with bleach after each meal then it’s
not clean”. Overcoming perfectionism involves thinking in shades of grey. Standards are not black
and white, they fall on a continuum. You are not going to be asked to give up your standards
altogether, just to loosen them a little so there are fewer costs associated with pursuing them.
We will be asking you to replace unrelenting high standards with reasonable high standards.
Here is an example of cleanliness in the kitchen:

No standardse.g., not caring how clean the kitchen isReasonablehigh standards

Unrelenting highstandardse.g., wiping overthe kitchencounters dailye.g., scrubbing thekitchen bench withbleach before andafter each meal

Being prepared to try new things
In order to change your perfectionism you will be asked to behave in a way that you are not used to. Thismight involve setting aside time for relaxation, or learning to tolerate mistakes. These sorts of activities
might feel uncomfortable when you first get started. You may even feel terrified at the thought of relaxing
your high standards. If this occurs you may be tempted to go back to your old habits. It is normal to feelscared about letting go of old habits but the anxiety will reduce with time. In fact, the more you practise
the strategies in these modules the more comfortable you will be with reducing your perfectionism. Also
remember that in the long-term there are important costs of not changing your perfectionism.
A commitment of time and effort
Changing your perfectionism will require a certain amount of time and effort. Are you able to commit tothis task? You might not be able to make this commitment if you have other stressful things going on inyour life (e.g., relationship difficulties, severe depression, and substance misuse). If this is true for you thenyou may need to get help in relation to these other problems before you are able to devote time andenergy to overcoming perfectionism.

Am I Ready to Change?
You have completed several exercises aimed at getting you to think about the costs and benefits ofperfectionism and what change will involve. It is now time to make a decision. Has achieving andachievement become the main way that you judge your self-worth? Do the costs of perfectionism
outweigh the benefits? Are you able to commit some time and effort towards changing? And finally... areyou ready to commit to changing your perfectionism? Tick one of the boxes below:

 YES – I am ready to change my perfectionism
 NO – I am not ready to change my perfectionism right now
If you have ticked “YES” then read on and we will tell you how to get started!
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The Next Step: Setting Goals for Change
Congratulations! You have made the decision to change your perfectionism. Before we talk about HOW
to do this, you need to identify WHAT aspect of perfectionism you want to change first. To start with wewill ask you to select a particular area of your life in which perfectionism is a problem. Then we will ask
you to identify specific goals towards reducing your unrelenting high standards and your perfectionism
behaviours in this area of your life. Use the step-by-step procedure below to work out your own generaland specific goals towards reducing your perfectionism.
Step 1: Choose a general goal area to work on firstWe will be asking you to start work on one area of your life first. You will be working on this particulararea throughout the rest of this ‘Perfectionism in Perspective’ Information Pack. We know you may wantto tackle all of them at once. Or do them all ‘perfectly’! But remember that perfectionism is an old habit.
To develop a new habit of readjusting your expectations of yourself and pursuing healthy high standards,
you need to start slowly and take it one step at a time. Choose one area of your life where you can start
applying the techniques you will read about in the modules. It is a good idea to start with the easiest area
first. When you have made some progress in this area you can then choose another area to tackle. Itmight help to review the areas of life in which you identified perfectionism to be a problem in Module 1.
Tick one of the boxes below to indicate the area of perfectionism that you would like to tackle first:

 Work Study Housework/cleaning
 Close relationships (e.g., partner, family, friends)
 Organising things

 Eating/weight/shape Grooming/washing Driving Sport/Fitness
 OtherStep 2: Adjusting your unrelenting high standards
Identify the unrelenting high standards that are driving your perfectionism in this area of your life. If you
need some help, take a look at Module 2 (page 6) to remind yourself of the standards you set for yourself
in this area. Next, you will be asked to identify a more reasonable standard. What would other people
consider to be a healthy high standard that you could work towards?
Step 3: Identify the perfectionism behaviour you wish to work on
This behaviour should be related to the standards you identified above. What do you do in your efforts tomaintain this unrelenting high standard?
Step 4: Identify a specific goal towards reducing this perfectionism behaviour
This goal should involve the perfectionism behaviour you identified above.
Step 5: Set a time frame
It is also helpful to think of a specific time frame, such as one month or 6 weeks. You will then know if you
have achieved your goal within your time frame. If you haven’t, perhaps your goal was too difficult or thetime frame allowed was not long enough (you set your standards too high again!).
Overleaf is a record of the area Peter selected to work on, and his specific goals towards adjusting hisunrelenting high standards and changing his perfectionism behaviours.
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Peter’s Plan
General goal area:

To be less perfectionistic at work

Adjusting the standards I set for myself inthis area of my life
Current unrelenting high standard:

The job isn’t done unless it is perfect

A more reasonable standard:

I can try to do a job well but it does not have tobe perfect

Perfectionism behaviour I will be workingon:Specific goal towards reducing thisperfectionism behaviour:

Checking my work three times

Time frame:

One month

I will aim to only check my work once

Some Examples
Here are some examples of areas of life in which perfectionism may be a problem, the typical unrelenting
high standards that keep perfectionism going in this area, and the perfectionism behaviours a person might
engage in to pursue these high standards. Use the examples to help you write your own plan for gettingstarted on overcoming your perfectionism.
Goal Area

Unrelenting High Standard

Perfectionism Behaviour

WorkI must never make an error

Looking over my work, searching for errors

Grooming

I have to look immaculate

Spend 3 hours a day checking my make-up and clothes
in the mirror

Cleaning

The kitchen must be spotless and hygienic

Cleaning over and over with bleachStudyI must always get a distinction or higher

Procrastination, never getting startedLists

I must never forget to do something

Writing lists over and overMy Plan
General goal area:
Adjusting the standards I set for myself in thisarea of my life
Current unrelenting high standard:
A more reasonable standard:
Perfectionism behaviour I will be working on:
Specific goal towards reducing thisperfectionism behaviour:
Time frame:
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Coping Tips
Change is not easy! As a perfectionist, you are likely to set yourself high and perhaps unreasonable
standards. We encourage you to be realistic and to keep your efforts to change your perfectionism inperspective! Below we outline some suggestions to help you on this journey of change.
1. Practice - Practice makes perfect. How many times have you heard this? How many times haveyou repeated a behaviour in order to “make it perfect”? Well, we would like to encourage you topractice NOT being perfect!
2. Give yourself permission to make mistakes – We all make mistakes. In fact, some of our mostvaluable learning comes from taking a non-judgemental look at the mistakes we’ve made. Making amistake and living with it is a sign of progress!
3. Remind yourself of the unhelpful consequences of your perfectionism (page 3 of this module) –this is particularly helpful if you are struggling to stay motivated.
4. Learn to laugh – happy people know how to laugh and don’t take life too seriously.
5. Reward yourself often - give yourself a pat on the back when you’ve accomplished somethingoutside your comfort zone!

Obstacles to Overcoming My Perfectionism
It is always useful to be realistic and anticipate problems that might prevent you from making
progress towards your goal. As we have pointed out, there are many reasons thatperfectionists might be reluctant to loosen up their standards. Before launching into theprocess of change, you can prepare a strategy to deal with any obstacles that might occur, andthen you can deal with them when, and if, they arise.
Minimising
As we have pointed out, you may feel that being a perfectionist is a good thing, and not a problem. But ifyou’ve got this far, it’s likely that at some level you recognise there is a problem. Even if you think the costof having your high standards is outweighed by the benefits, ask yourself if others close to you would agree,or if your perfectionism might really be interfering in your life. Watch out for a tendency to minimise theproblem!
Fear of change
Are you afraid that if you loosen up your unrelenting standards you will have no standards at all? That you
might end up a slob? If so, do remember the pitfalls of black and white thinking. It’s NOT all or nothing!
And perhaps look at others around you – remind yourself that it’s possible to be happy and healthy andsuccessful, without being a perfectionist.
Extreme self-criticismIf you don’t manage to achieve your goal, do you get very critical of yourself? Do you tend to give up? Are
you afraid to try to change, in case you don’t succeed? That’s your perfectionism and your tendency toprocrastinate talking.
Life circumstances
Is there just too much going on in your life now to enable you to focus on overcoming your perfectionism
at this time? Ask yourself, in all seriousness, if you are not just making excuses, but if you really are tooforCentrelinical
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involved in an event (such as an illness or death of someone close to you; a major life change coming upsuch as getting married or having a baby; or a deteriorating relationship)? If so, work out when might be agood time to tackle your perfectionism, and make a commitment to yourself to reconsider this issue at aparticular time in the future (e.g., in three months).
There may be other potential problems that you can identify. Spend a few moments identifying possible
obstacles to your committing yourself to overcoming your perfectionism. Write these in the left handcolumn called “Roadblocks”. Then think about why it is important for you to overcome these obstacles andwrite these ideas in the column called “Self-talk”. Then in the “Action” column write down what you aregoing to do to overcome your roadblock! Then do it!

Self-talkActions

Example: I’m scared of stopping

Example: I know that if I makeExample: Ring someone andafter only one hour’s practice.
I need to work harder.

the effort to stop after one hourI may feel anxious in the shortterm but in the long term I
will feel better. It will help me
manage my perfectionism.

talk through advantages of
only practicing for one hour.
Stop after one hour.

Roadblocks

We would now like to invite you to join us for the remainder of the journey where we will be offeringsome practical strategies to help you reduce your perfectionism behaviours and challenge yourperfectionist thinking. It will take some hard work but the rewards are that you will be less burdened by
the rigid and relentless pursuit of ‘perfection’. Join us in the next module!
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Module Summary•••••••

There are both helpful and unhelpful aspects of being a perfectionist.
Deciding that the unhelpful aspects of perfectionism outweigh the helpful aspects of perfectionism
makes it more likely that you will want to change.
Challenging perfectionism involves seeing the world in shades of grey, not black and white; itinvolves a commitment of time and effort and a willingness to try new things.
It is important to make a commitment to taking on the challenge of tackling your perfectionism.
Choosing an area of your life and a specific goal to focus on is helpful for loosening up yourunrelenting high standards and reducing your perfectionism behaviours.
Strategies to help you cope with change include giving yourself permission to make mistakes,reminding yourself of the consequences of your perfectionism, learning to laugh, and rewarding
yourself often for the small steps you make towards change.
It is realistic to anticipate problems that might get in the way of progressing towards your goal andidentify strategies to help you overcome these.

What I Have Learned in this Module
Think about what you have learned in this module and any useful bits of information, tips or strategies thatyou want to remember. Write them down below so you can refer to them later.

Think about how you might use the information you have just learned. Write down some ways in which
you could make use of this information.

Coming Up…
In Module 5 (Reducing my perfectionism behaviours) we will beoffering you strategies to change the behaviours which areproblematic for you.
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About this Module
CONTRIBUTORS
Dr. Anna Steele (Ph.D.1; MPsych2)
Clinical Psychologist
Centre for Clinical Interventions

Dr. Anthea Fursland (Ph.D.1)
Principal Clinical Psychologist
Centre for Clinical Interventions
Dr. Bronwyn Raykos (MPsych2, Ph.D.1)
Clinical Psychologist
Centre for Clinical Interventions
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Doctor of Philosophy (Clinical Psychology)

Master of Psychology (Clinical Psychology)

BACKGROUND
The concepts and strategies in this module have been developed from evidence-based psychologicaltreatment, primarily Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT). CBT for perfectionism is based on the approachthat perfectionism is the result of problematic cognitions (thoughts) and behaviours.

REFERENCES
Antony, M. M. & Swinson, R. P. (1998) When Perfect Isn’t Good Enough. New Harbinger Publications,Oakland, Ca.
Kearns, H., Forbes, A., & Gardiner, M. (2007). A cognitive behavioural coaching intervention for thetreatment of perfectionism and self-handicapping in a nonclinical population. Behaviour Change, 24 (3), 157172.
Shafran, R., Cooper, Z. and Fairburn, C. G. (2002) Clinical Perfectionism: a cognitive-behavioural analysis.
Behaviour Research and Therapy, 40, 773-791“PERFECTIONISM IN PERSPECTIVE”
This module forms part of:
Fursland, A., Raykos, B. and Steele, A. (2009). Perfectionism in Perspective. Perth, Western Australia: Centrefor Clinical Interventions.
ISBN: 0-975799576

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Created: March 2009

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