Respect My Privacy• Please don’t pressure me. It’s my right to decide
what to share with others when I’m ready.
• Don’t assume things or ask me about mygenitals unless I bring it up.
• Please don’t share what I told you with anyone
else without my permission . This includes yourfamily, friends, significant other, and teachers.
• I have a right to know if you did tell others.
Remember it’s my experience, not yours.
Understandthat I'm on ajourney and may
still have a longway to go.

Support My Emotions• I’m scared people will think I’m abnormal.
Please treat me with dignity and respect.
• Being intersex might be a huge deal for me, or it
may not affect me at all! Each intersex person
deals with being intersex differently.
• Please don’t say that you wish for part of myexperience, or that you think I’m lucky.
• Don’t minimize my intersex experience becauseof the other good things in my life.
• I may have had surgery with or without mypermission, and it may be hard for me to accept
myself when doctors and others haven’t.
• Most intersex people can’t have biological kids.
Coping with infertility can be a difficult process.
Please don’t say things like ‘you can just adopt!’
There are many ways to build a family, pleaserespect all choices.
• Be aware that people born intersex are oftenprescribed hormones that may affect theiremotions, mood, or behavior and in some cases
cause new bodily changes.

interACT Youthis a space for intersex youth
to raise their voices, share
their stories, and change
the world.

interACT Youthis a project of

www.interACTadvocates.org
www.interACTyouth.org@interACT _ adv
365 Boston Post Road Suite 163
Sudbury, MA 01776
707-793-1190

What We Wish
Our Friends Knew
interACT YouthThanks
for reading,please share
this with yourfriends!

is a group of intersex advocates intheir teens and twenties, working
to raise intersex awareness. We
created this brochure to show ourfriends the best ways to support
us on our intersex journeys.

What is intersex?
People with intersex traits, sometimes
referred to by doctors as Differencesof Sex Development (DSDs), are bornwith physical differences inside and/or
outside their body. This happens when
our body’s sex chromosomes, organs,and/or hormones don’t line up in a
way that is typical for a “male” or“female.” People find out they’reintersex at any point in their life, andsome never find out at all.

There is not ONE
intersex experience.

There are many
intersex variations, andan estimated 1.5% of
the population is bornwith intersex traits, thesame as natural-born redheads.
How many people with redhair are in your school?
There are probably thatmany intersex
kids, too!
Manyintersex
kids feel shamefrom negative
experiences at doctors’
offices, possible surgeries,
secrecy, and even reactions fromfriends and family. This can makeit hard to share our stories, but
we’re working to change that!
Educating our friends isimportant to create a world
where intersex kids are free tobe their true, authentic selves.

Provide a Safe Space• Talking about being intersex can be difficult. I

may need time to process what it means before
I find the right moment to share it with you.

• Check in with me to see how I am doing, and tolet me know you care. Remind me often that I
can come to you for support. Questions like“How do you feel about it?” and “What’s yourfavorite or least favorite part?” are greatplaces to start.
• My feelings may change over time. Please don’t
assume that because I’m okay today, I’ll beokay tomorrow.
• If you’ve already heard of intersex, please don’t
assume things about me. Just ask questions!
• Please respect that my intersex body means myexperience may be different than yours. For
example, I may be a boy who sits down to pee
or a girl who doesn’t get her period.
• If something I tell you doesn’t make sense, saysomething like “I don’t understand it all yet, but
I want to keep learning so I can support you.”

Let me know
you appreciate how
hard it might be to tell
you these personal
details, and that you’re
thankful I sharedthem with you.