I am a Cat – Chapter 2b
Natsume Sōseki – 1905
After Tōfū's departure, the master went into his study to find that a letter from Meitei had been placed on
his desk.
"Allow me to offer my happiest New Year's wishes ..."An uncharacteristically sober opening, the master mused. Meitei's letters were seldom so sober. The otherday he'd written, "No lady thereafter has captured my heart, and no sweet words arrive at my door. Rest
assured, though, that my days continue. I bide my time quietly, neither engaged in exploit nor mired inmishap." Compared to that, this New Year's letter seemed most mundane.
"I mean to call, but unlike you, refrained in your ways, I'm out grabbing life by the horns. I've
embraced this new year, the best of all years, in a dizzying whirl of activity. I humbly trust that you'll
understand ..."The master could certainly imagine how a fellow like Meitei, flitting about through the holiday making his
rounds, must surely be busy.
"Yesterday, stealing a spare moment, I sought to treat Tōfū to tochimenbō. Most unfortunately,
however, the ingredients for tochimenbō are in short supply, and my plan came to naught. A terrible
shame. ..."
Recognizing the quintessential Meitei, the master floated a grin.
"Tomorrow we gather for cards with a certain baron, and the following day is the Aesthetics Societybanquet. The day after that is Professor Toribe's welcome party, and the day after that ..."
"Enough already!" The master skipped ahead.
"As you can see, I've a gathering for Noh songs, a gathering for haiku, a gathering for tanka, agathering for modern-form poetry - the list goes on, with no end in sight. Occupied as I am by thissuccession of gatherings, I humbly and necessarily ask that you accept, in the meantime and with no ill
feeling, this congratulatory letter in lieu of my calling. ..."
"Don't go put yourself out, then." the master voiced his reply to the letter.
"On occasion of your next visit, I propose that we dine together, as it's been a while now. My pantry is
stark in these winter months, but I'm thinking at least of tochimenbō. ..."
1

ōI am a Cat – Chapter 2b – S seki Project"Still going on about tochimenbō. Sheer insolence!" The master is a bit perturbed.
"However, the ingredients for tochimenbō are in short supply these days, and it may well be that I can't
procure them. If such is the case, perhaps I can offer peacock tongue instead to suit your palate. ..."
"He's covering all the bases." The master is intrigued now and reads on.
"As I'm sure you're aware, the volume of tongue meat from a single peacock is no greater than half of
one's little finger at best. To satisfy that voracious belly of yours will hence require ..."
"Pure rubbish!" The master remarks in passing and continues.
"I'll have to get my hands on twenty or thirty peacocks. That being said, though peacocks can be seen
here and there in zoos or at the Asakusa Amusement Park, the typical bird handler doesn't carry them.
This is causing me some consternation. ..."
"Consternation of his own making." The master expresses not the least bit of sympathy.
"In ancient Rome, at the height of Roman power, this cuisine of peacock tongue was in great favor. If
you would be so kind as to indulge me, please know I've always yearned to sample for myself thisultimate extravagance. ..."
"Indulge you in what? Absurdity?" The master is fully unmoved.
"Down through to the sixteenth and seventeenth centuries, peacock was standard fare at any European
banquet. If memory serves me right, when the Earl of Leicester hosted Queen Elizabeth at Kenilworth
they dined on peacock. In depictions of feast by the renowned master Rembrandt, peacock tails adorn
the tabletop. ..."
"If he has time to write a treatise on peacock cuisine, how busy can he be?" The master expresses someannoyance.
"At any rate, given my current succession of indulgences, it's all but inevitable that I'll soon enough be
dyspeptic like yourself. ...""He could leave me out of it. Since when am I the poster child for dyspepsia?" The master mutters his
objection.
"According to historians, The Romans feasted two to three times daily. Sitting down to gorge oneself,
multiple times per day, is bound to take its toll, even on the strongest of stomachs. Accordingly, in due
course they would end up like yourself. ..."
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"There he goes with 'like yourself' again. Insolent rogue!""However, they left no stone unturned in their efforts to reconcile their extravagance with their health.
Aware of the need to maintain digestive normalcy while still indulging their great cravings, they hit
upon a secret method. ..."
"Well now." The master's interest is suddenly piqued.
"After eating, they made it their habit to bathe. And after bathing, through a certain process, theywould purge up all that they'd eaten before, emptying out their stomachs. After thus having cleansed
their stomachs, they were ready to feast again. They partook of delicacies to their hearts' content, andafter having partaken, again they bathed and purged. Thus repeating, they could indulge their cravings
to no end, without ill-treating their digestive organs. If this is not 'two birds with one stone' then I can't
think what is. ..."
"It's certainly that. Two birds with one stone." The master's expression betrays a tinge of envy.
"Here in this twentieth century, where endless associations and frequent banquets are the norm, andwhere we now enter a second year of aggression vis-à-vis Russia and prepare to emerge a victorious
nation, we'd do well to learn from the Romans. We're at the juncture, I believe with utmost conviction,
where we must learn anew this technique of bathing and purging. If we don't, then I worry greatly that
we'll have elevated ourselves only to become, in short order, a nation of dyspeptics like yourself. ..."
"There's his 'like yourself' again. Irksome fellow!" the master muses.
"At this juncture, those of us endowed with knowledge of the Occident must reach back into its
ancient lore in search of lost secrets. The merits of introducing these secrets into Meiji society, I
believe, are twofold. Not only will they stave off calamitous ends, but they'll free us in turn to pursue
unabated our daily pleasures. ..."
"What on earth ..." The master shakes his head.
"Accordingly, I've immersed myself of late in the writings of authors like Gibbon, Mommsen, andSmith. Much to my chagrin, though, I've yet to unearth any leads. However, as you're well aware, once
I set my mind to something I persevere, undeterred, until success is mine. I believe, therefore, that it
won't be long before I've discovered and revived the lost art of purging. Please rest assured in theknowledge that when I do you'll be first to know. Such being the case, I propose we defer the
aforementioned feast of tochimenbō or peacock tongue until after such discovery. This deferral suits
my needs, and I believe it's also to your advantage, as you already suffer so from dyspepsia. Much
more to write, but I must stop here for now."3ōI am a Cat – Chapter 2b – S seki Project

"So it seems I've been taken again. Drawn in by his weighty prose, I read to the end in earnest. The new
year's just begun and he's already up to his tricks. Far too much time on his hands," the master remarks
with a chuckle.
Four or five days passed without incident. The daffodil withered in its white porcelain, and the plum
branch, though set in an earthenware pot, slowly began to blossom. Unsatisfied with just marking thepassage of time, I tried on several occasions, unsuccessfully, to call on Mikeko. On the first occasion, I
presumed she must be away, but on the second occasion I learned she was unwell and resting. Concealing
myself by the wash basin, in the shadows of an aspidistra plant, I overheard, from inside the shōji, thefollowing exchange between the teacher and her maidservant.
"Miké's not eating?" "No, she didn't touch her food this morning. I bundled her warmly and laid her by the
kotatsu to rest." Not very cat-like. They attend to her like a fellow human being.
On the one hand, in light of my own circumstances, I was a bit envious. On the other hand, it gladdened
my heart to know that this cat, whom I care for deeply, receives such kind care.
"I'm concerned for her. If one doesn't eat, one's stamina only weakens." "That's the truth. Even you or I,
after a day without food, would be fully listless."
The maidservant replies as though the cat is a superior being. It may very well be the case that, in thishouse, the cat is held dearer.
"Did you take her to the doctor?" "I did, but that doctor is odd. I took her into the examination room, andthe doctor, asking if I'd caught cold, started to check my pulse. It's not me, I told him, setting out Miké on
my knees, it's this fellow. He grinned and said that when it comes to cats he knows nothing more than thenext guy. He suggested I just let her be, that she'd recover soon enough. The man has no heart. I was upset
and told him fine then, I've no need of your services. This cat is precious to us, I told him. I tucked Mikéback into my kimono and took my leave." "Rightly done.""Rightly done" is not something ever heard at my place. The teacher's whatever-it-was connection toTenshō-in was evident in her words. I was touched by their elegance.
"She seems to be wheezing ..." "Yes, I'm afraid her throat is hurting her. We all too, when we catch cold,
often end up with a cough ..."
Being the maidservant of Tenshō-in's something-or-other's something-or-other, her words were mostrespectful.

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"There's something going round. Consumption, I believe they call it ..." "True. In times like these, withheretofore unknown illness about, be it consumption or pestilence, one can never be too careful." "Heedmy words. Since the days of the shogunate, much is new and none of it good." "That very well may be."The maidservant takes this to heart.
"How do you suppose she caught cold? She doesn't go about much ..."
"On the contrary, I'm afraid. She's fallen in with bad company."
The maidservant is effusive, as though poised to reveal some state secret.
"Bad company?" "Yes ma'am. It's that scruffy tomcat from the teacher's place in the front lane." "Byteacher, you mean that man who raises a ruckus each morning?" "That's the one. Each time he washes his
face. Like a throttled goose in its death throes.""Throttled goose" is an apt description. That master of mine, each morning when he gargles in thebathroom, makes it a practice to prod his throat with his toothbrush and voice, without reserve, a mostcurious sound. When his mood is ill, it's an awful "gaagaa" sound. When his spirits are high it's a hearty"gaagaa" sound. In short, regardless of mood it's "gaagaa" for all he's worth. According to the wife, he
didn't used to do it in their old place. He just started it out of the blue one day, and he's never stopped. It'sa bothersome practice, and why he insists on continuing is fully beyond us cats. Setting that aside, theterm "scruffy tomcat" was, in my mind, entirely unwarranted. I perked my ears and listened further.
"I can't imagine what he hopes to invoke with those sounds. Before the Restoration, even the footman orsquire was versed in proper etiquette. No one ever washed their face like that in the residences." "That's
the truth indeed."
The maidservant is terribly worked up now and dutifully doling out "indeeds.""With a master like that, that cat is no doubt a stray. Next time he shows, swat him away." "I'll swat him
but good. Miké's illness is his doing entirely. I'm sure of it. He has one coming."
I'd been unjustly accused and condemned. Realizing I was unwelcome, I made my way home without
seeing Mikeko.
When I arrived home, the master was in his study, ruminating with brush in hand. Had I told him what I'dheard cross the way, at the koto teacher's place, he would surely have been quite irate. Ignorance is bliss,though, and he held himself like a divine poet, intoning words as he wrote.

5ōI am a Cat – Chapter 2b – S seki ProjectAt this point Meitei, who was "terribly busy" and had deliberately set down his New Year's greetings on
paper in lieu of a visit, dropped by. "Is that modern poetry you're working at? Let's see it if you've got
something good," he remarked. "I came across some excellent prose, so I'm trying my hand at translation,"
the master paused to reply. "Prose? Whose then?" "I don't know." "Anonymous then? Many great works
are anonymous. One mustn't dismiss on grounds of anonymity. Where on earth did you find it?" he asked.
"The Second Year Reader," the master calmly replied. "The Second Year Reader? What of the Second Year
Reader." "That's where I found it, this prose that I'm translating." "You're pulling my leg! This is payback,I presume, for the peacock tongue." "Unlike your words, mine carry weight." The master twists his
mustache, fully composed. "Long ago, it's told, a disciple asked Sanyō if any recent writings werenoteworthy. 'For starters, this is recent and noteworthy,' Sanyō replied, pointing to a dunning letter from apackhorse driver. Maybe you do, after all, possess the discerning eye. Give it a read and I'll let you know."
Meitei, in his own mind, was the maven of discernment. The master, like a Zen monk reciting the lastadmonition of Daitō Kokushi, started in in a solemn voice. "Giant Gravitation" "What's that mean, Giant
Gravitation?" "Giant Gravitation's the title." "An odd title. I don't know what to make of it." "It's intended
to mean a giant whose name is Gravitation." "Intent is hardly effect, but fine, it's just a title. Let's get on to
the main text. You read so well - I can't wait." "None of your ribbing, now," the master cautioned Meitei
up front and proceeded to read.
Kate saw the boys playing ball. They tossed the ball into the air. Up, up it went. Then down it came.
They tossed it up again and again. It came down, down, down. It fell every time. They could not keep
it in the air. "What makes the ball come down?" said Kate. "Why doesn't it keep going up?" "I will tellyou," said mamma. "A giant lives down in the ground. He is Giant Gravitation. He works all the time.
He is very strong. He draws everything toward him. He keeps the house down. If he did not it would
fly away. He keeps the children from flying away, too. You have seen the leaves falling. Giant
Gravitation is calling them. Sometimes you have dropped your books. Giant Gravitation said, 'Come.'
The ball goes up into the air. Giant Gravitation calls. Then it comes down.""That's it?" "Mm. Quite a work, huh?" "I see I've been had. When I expected it least, I've been served backmy own tochimenbō." "I'm not out to serve you back anything. It's really quite a work, so I thought I'dtranslate it. You don't agree?" The master gazes in through the gold-rimmed glasses. "You've obviously
caught me off guard. I underestimated you, was taken for a ride, and am now compelled to submit." Meitei
pronounces his own capitulation. The master is not on board. "Your submission was furthest from mymind. I thought it intriguing prose, so I set to translating. That's all there is to it." "Well played, well
played. Anything less would have missed the mark. Wonderful. I stand humbled." "It hardly merits yourhumility. I've given up on watercolors, so I'm trying my hand at composition instead." "Your watercolor
painting, with its washed-out hues and mismatched depths, pales in perspective. I couldn't be more inawe." "In light of your praise, I'll redouble my efforts." The master persists in a world of his own fancy.

6ōI am a Cat – Chapter 2b – S seki ProjectAt this point Kangetsu appears, greeting the master as he enters. Meitei immediately butts in. "Pardon, sir,but I've just been treated to the finest of prose, so fine as to vanquish the ghost of tochimenbō." His
greeting alludes to heretofore nonsense. "Is that right?" Kangetsu's response, in turn, is equally
meaningless. The master alone refrains from indulgence. "That fellow Ochi Tōfū called the other day withyour introduction." "Ah, he called, did he? That Ochi Kochi's exceedingly sincere, but a little eccentric. I
hope he wasn't a nuisance. He insisted so that I introduce you ..." "I wouldn't say he was a nuisance ..."
"When he called here, did he go on at all about his name?" "No, I don't recall that he did." "Really? He has
this tendency, wherever he goes and whenever he meets someone new, to expound at length on his own
name." "What about his name?" Meitei pounces on the chance to interject. "He takes issue with 'Kochi'
being read in the Chinese style." "Well I'll be." Meitei takes a pinch of tobacco from an ornate leather
pouch. "'My name isn't Ochi Tōfū, it's Ochi Kochi,' he invariably informs his listener." "Odd." Meitei
inhales a great cloud into the depths of his lungs. "It's no doubt his literary zeal. 'Kochi' serves as ahomonym for 'here and there,' and he also takes great pride in the rhyming of the two parts of his name.
'When they fail to read it as Kochi then all of my effort's for naught,' he's wont to complain." "Eccentric
indeed." Meitei, with due fanfare, contracts his lungs and expels the great cloud through his nostrils. In theprocess, some of the smoke goes astray and sticks in his throat. He clutches his pipe and chokes out
several coughs. "He spoke the other day of a recital group. How his voicing of the boatman and met withlaughter by schoolgirls," the master remarks with a chuckle. "Yes, that was it," responds Meitei, tapping
his pipe on his knee. Out of caution, I inch myself away from his side.
"About that recital group. The other day, when I treated Tōfū to tochimenbō, he mentioned it. Their second
gathering, he said, will be grander. They're inviting renowned literary scholars, and he beseeched me toattend. I asked if they'd be doing another of Chikamatsu's domestic period dramas, and he told me that, no,this time they've gone full modern, deciding on Konjiki Yasha. I asked him what his role was, and he said
he'd be doing Omiya. Tōfū as Omiya should be good. I intend, by all means, to be there and cheer himon." "Should be good," Kangetsu concurred with a curious laugh. "I do admire, though, the fellow's
sincerity. He's not at all flippant like Meitei." The master, in one fell swoop, sought payback for Andrea
del Sarto, peacock tongues, and tochimenbō. Meitei paid little heed. "You know me well. I'm thequintessential Gyōtoku cutting board," he replied with a smile. "You're right on that count," the mastershot back. Truth be told, the master was not familiar with the term "Gyōtoku cutting board." However,during long years as a teacher he'd faked his way through this and that, and he was practiced enough toapply his classroom savvy to social settings. "What do you mean by Gyōtoku cutting board?" Kangetsu
asked with candor. The master shifted his gaze to the alcove. "I bought that daffodil late last year, on myway home from the baths. It's held up well, don't you think?" He's out to quash the Gyōtoku cutting board.
"Speaking of year's end, I experienced something most curious at the close of this past year." Meitei, like astreet performer, is spinning his pipe on his fingertips. "What was that? Let's hear it." The master, sensingthat the Gyōtoku cutting board has been left by the wayside, breathes a sigh of relief. Meitei's curious
experience is as follows.
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"It was late last year, I believe on the 27th. That fellow Tōfū, interested in my opinion on literary matters,
proposed to visit me at my home and asked that I be present to receive him. I waited from morning,
anticipating his call, but the good man took his time in showing. I ate lunch and was sitting in front of thestove, reading a humorous piece by Barry Pain, when a letter arrived from my mother in Shizuoka. As
elders are wont to do, she sees me still as a child. Her letter offered various admonishments. During thesecold months, I should avoid being out late. A cold bath is fine, but fire up the stove and warm the room to
avoid catching cold. Even I, heedless man that I am, was greatly moved in this moment. Who else but aparent ever offers such words. She got me to thinking I mustn't just idle my time. I must, for the sake offamily honor, produce a work of utmost import. While my mother was alive to see it, I would establish aname for myself. In Meiji literary circles, Professor Meitei would be known to all. Reading further, shewrote of how truly blessed I was. How the young folk were sacrificing so greatly for our country in the
war with Russia, while I was at leisure, year's end as well as New Year's. -- Let it be known that I'm not somuch at leisure as she thinks. -- Further on, she lists up by name all my schoolmates who are dead orwounded in the war. In reading those names, one by one, the world struck me as weary, and humanexistence as tedium. Finally in closing, she wondered if this next New Year's zōni, given her age, might
not be her last ... All of this was disheartening, and I felt my spirits sink lower. I wished Tōfū would call,but the good man had yet to show. Dinnertime came, and I thought to write my mother in return, so I
penned out some lines, twelve or thirteen in all. My mother's letter was some pages long, but I'm not the
prolific writer she is, so I always beg off at ten or so lines. At this point, having spent the full day sitting
indoors, my stomach was out of sorts. Deciding that Tōfū could wait if he showed, I went out. I wanted tostroll, and I wanted too to post my letter. Uncharacteristically, I didn't head toward Fujimi-chō but set out
instead, without knowing why, toward Dote Sanban-chō. It was a frigid night, a bit overcast and with a
raw wind that carried across the moat. Below the embankment, a steam train rolled in from Kagurazaka
and let loose a whistle as it passed on. I felt terribly doleful. Another year past, casualties of war, infirmityof old age, the fleetingness of life - all these thoughts raced round in my mind. Word often comes of a man
having hanged himself, and I began to think that it must be moments like these that entice him to do it. I
lifted my gaze, and there on the embankment, directly above me, stood the pine.""What do you mean 'the pine'?" The master interjected with a question.
"The hanging pine." Meitei drew in his neck as he spoke.
"Isn't the hanging pine on Kōnodai?" Kangetsu's voice joined the flow.
"The pine on Kōnodai is for the hanging of bells. The pine on Dote Sanban-chō is for the hanging ofheads. The reason this pine is for the hanging of heads, legend has it, is that from days of old, anyone
passing beneath is seized with the urge to hang himself. There are numerous pines on the embankment,
but when word comes of a hanging it's always this same pine. No other tree so invites men's demise. You
can see it extend an opportune branch toward the lane. Its form is ideal. It's all too forlorn. Somehow it
8ōI am a Cat – Chapter 2b – S seki Projectcries for adornment, in the form of a hanging man. Wondering if someone might come to it, I looked
around, regrettably to no avail. Having no other recourse, I thought I might hang there myself. But no, if I
hang there that's it. The danger's too great. Then again, they say that the ancient Greeks, for theamusement of banquet guests, acted out a game of hangman. One would mount a pedestal and slip hishead through the knot. The moment he did, another would kick the pedestal away. The one with the ropebout his neck would loosen it, quick as a flash, and drop to the ground. Such was the scheme. If this is infact what they did, then the risk is overblown. I could give it a go. I placed my hands on the branch. Ityielded in a manner most satisfying. It was a work of art in its compliance. I imagined hanging there,
floating gently, and rapture swept over my mind. I decided I had to do it, but then my thoughts turned to
Tōfū, who would arrive and wait in vain. Thinking it best to first engage him as promised, and then set out
anew, I returned home.""Then all ended well?" asks the master.
"Intriguing indeed," Kangetsu adds with a grin.
"I did return home, but there was no sign of Tōfū. Instead, a card had arrived. Due to unavoidable
circumstances, he was unable to call that day but looked forward to taking up our conversation in thespringtime days to follow. There was nothing now to stop me. I was free to go and hang. The thought ofthis delighted me. I immediately slipped on my geta and hurried back to the spot. When I looked ..."
Meitei pauses for dramatic effect, locking a serious gaze on the master and Kangetsu.
"What was it?" The master is a little on edge.
"Finally, the crux of the tale." Kangetsu twists the ties of his haori.
"I looked, and someone was already dangling there. By the slimmest of margins, the chance had eluded
me. Thinking back on it now, Death had had me firmly in his clutches. As James would describe it, theshadowy realm of the subconscious and my waking mind had somehow, through some sort of causal
connection, become entwined. This world is a curious place, wouldn't you say?" Meitei is utterly sincere.
The master, certain he's been had again, says nothing, but stuffs his mouth with a mochi and begins
working his jaws.
Kangetsu, with downcast gaze and floating a slight grin, carefully rakes the ashes in the brazier. After a
moment, he speaks. His tone is most subdued.
"On the one hand, I'm disinclined to believe such things. At the same time, having recently experienced
something quite similar, I find myself reluctant to doubt."

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"You felt it too then, the urge to hang yourself?""Not hanging, in my case. It was also at year's end, occurring on that same day and at nearly the samehour, which makes it that more uncanny.""Let's hear what happened." Meitei too stuffs a mochi in his mouth.
"On the day in question, at the home of an acquaintance in Mukōjima, there was a year's end party which
also called for chamber music, so I set out with my violin. Fifteen or so young ladies and wives were
present, the entire evening was masterfully orchestrated, and all had a wonderful time. We ate dinner,
played music, and conversed on various subjects. The hour grew late, and I prepared to take my leave. As
I did so, the wife of a certain scholar approached and asked, in a low voice, if I knew that a certain young
lady had fallen ill. I'd seen this young lady just two or three days prior, and she'd seemed her usual self. I
was quite surprised and asked after her in detail. On the evening of that day I'd seen her, she'd come downwith a sudden fever. She'd been talking deliriously, which was concern enough, but from time to time, it
seems, she would mention my name."
The master, of course, and even Meitei, listened attentively, refraining from the usual jests they might
voice when it came to Kangetsu and a young lady.
"The doctor was called, but he couldn't say what was wrong, only that the intensity of the fever wasaffecting her mind. If sleeping tablets didn't ease her condition, then the situation would be perilous. My
spirits sank on hearing this prognosis. As if in a bad dream, all became bleak, and the air around me grew
heavy, closing in repressively from all sides. On the way home, tortuous thoughts ravaged my mind. Thiscertain young lady, so fair, so buoyant, so full of life ..."
"One moment please. That's twice now you've used the term 'certain young lady.' If I may be so bold, we'dlike to know to whom you're referring." Meitei turned to the master for concurrence. "Hmm," was all thatthe master could manage by way of endorsement.
"Out of deference to the young lady in question, I'd prefer to leave her unnamed.""It's your intent then, I take it, to lead us in darkness through mist-shrouded lands.""You mustn't needle me. What I'm relating is most serious ... At any rate, I thought of said lady suddenly
so ill and was at once overwhelmed by emotion. Flowers blossom, they say, only to scatter on the wind.
Energy drained from by body, vitality deserted me, and I staggered on, reduced to a tottering shell, until I
reached Azumabashi. Whether the tide was in or out, I cannot say. Resting against the railing, the darkwater below was a single moving mass. A lone rickshaw, on the road from Hanakawado, raced across thebridge. I watched the light of its lantern recede and then disappear behind the Sapporo brewery. I looked10ōI am a Cat – Chapter 2b – S seki Projectagain at the water. As I did so, I heard a voice, from far upstream, calling my name. Who at this hour, I
thought, could possibly be calling me. I gazed across the surface of the water, but all was dark and nothing
could be seen. Concluding it was all in my head, I thought it best to return straight home, and I resumed
my pace. Just then, a faint and distant voice again called my name. I stopped in my tracks and perked myears. When I was called for the third time, I was gripping the railing, but nevertheless my knees trembled
beneath me. The voice carried from afar, or perhaps from the water's depths, but it was unmistakably thevoice of that certain young lady. Unconsciously, I called back in response. I was surprised at my own
voiced and how it resounded over the water's surface. I surveyed my surroundings. There was nothing tosee. Not a soul. Not even a dog nor the light of the moon. I was seized in that moment with a sudden
longing to yield to the night and follow that voice to its source. The same voice, distressed, appealing,crying for help, again pierced my ears. This time I called back, "I'm coming!" I leaned over the railing andfixed my gaze on the black water. This voice that called me, it seemed, was forcing its way from beneaththe ripples. Focusing my attention on the water's depths, I climbed onto the railing. Resolved to leap if
called again, I studied the moving current. Once more, a thin, pitiful voice wafted upward. That was mycue. With full abandon, I leapt into the air and then felt myself drop like a stone.""You finally went and jumped?" The master asks with bewildered eyes.
"I didn't think it would come to that." Meitei tugs at the tip of his own nose.
"After I jumped, all went blank. The moment became a dream. When I regained my senses, I was cold but
not at all wet, and I didn't seem to have swallowed any water. This was odd, as I knew for a fact that I'djumped. With a sense of wonder, I looked around and was taken by surprise. Though intending for thewater, I'd in fact jumped backward and landed in the middle of the bridge. I was greatly disappointed. By
mistaking backward for forward, I'd lost my chance to unite with that voice." Floating a grin, Kangetsu
tugs characteristically at his haori ties.
"Ho, ho, ho, ho. Intriguing indeed. Uncannily similar to my own experience. Professor James could takethis up. As a sketch of the subconscious mind, it would not go unnoticed in literary circles. ... By the way,
what of that certain young lady's illness?" Meitei follows up with a query.
"Several days ago, when I stopped to pay my New Year's respects, she was out in the yard playing
battledore with the maidservant. She'd recovered fully and was back to her usual self."
At this point the master, who's been reticent all along, finally asserts himself. "I have one too," he says.
"What's that? One what?" It hasn't occurred to Meitei that the master might contribute.
"Mine too was at year's end."11

ōI am a Cat – Chapter 2b – S seki Project"Quite a coincidence, all at year's end," laughs Kangetsu. A piece of mochi clinging to his broken front
tooth.
"Let me guess now, the same day and the same time?" Meitei ribs the master.
"No, a different day. Around the 20th, as I recall. My wife asked that, in lieu of a year-end gift, I take her
to hear Settsu Daijō. 'I don't see why not,' I responded, and asked what work he was performing that day.
She consulted the paper and found it was Unagidani. I'm not fond of Unagidani, so we took a pass on thatparticular day. The following day, she came in with the paper and announced that that day's work wasHorikawa, which she thought would be fine. Horikawa, with its shamisen accompaniment, is lively
enough but lacks substance, so I suggested another pass. She withdrew, but not without a look of
dissatisfaction. The following day, she came in and informed me it was Sanjūsangendō. She was intent on
seeing Settsu perform this work. I may not like it, she told me, but it was her treat, and what would it hurt
me to take her. This time she was adamant. 'Very well then,' I told her, 'but they say it's his final tour, andthe crowds are overwhelming. One can't just show up unannounced and expect to be seated. There's a tea
house associated with the venue, and the proper process is to work through the folks in the tea house to
secure suitable spots in advance. It's not right to circumvent established protocol, so let's go at some later
date.' She glared back at me. As a housewife, she replied, she was not privy to such intricacies, but Ōhara's
mother and Kimiyo from the Suzuki's had both been, with no such proper arrangement, and enjoyedthemselves splendidly. 'Teacher or not, must every outing with you be painstakingly orchestrated? It's just
too much,' she said, close to tears. 'In that case then,' I said, 'let's give it a shot.' By way of capitulation, I
suggested we take the train over after dinner. 'If we're going to go,' she told me, 'we need to be there by
four.' 'One mustn't dally,' she added, suddenly revitalized. I asked in return why we needed to be there by
four. She'd heard from Kimiyo that unless one arrived early, by four at the latest, one couldn't secure a
spot. I questioned again for good measure, and she assured me that after four was too late. Oddly enough,at that very moment, the chills took hold.""Your wife came down with the chills?" Kangetsu asks.
"My wife was racing about. It was me. I felt myself wither like a punctured balloon. Before I knew it, myhead was swimming, and I was flat on my back.""A flash illness," Meitei comments.
"The situation was dire. Here was my wife with a once-in-a-year request, and I wanted so very much toaccommodate her. All I ever did was scold her, disregard her counsel, and burden her with householdchores and care of the children. Never did I reward her for the work she did to clean and cook. On thisday, I was lucky enough to have time on my hands and money in my purse. If I could, I would take herout. She was wanting to go, and I was wanting to treat her. I wanted so much to treat her, but here I lay,12ōI am a Cat – Chapter 2b – S seki Projectwith the chills and a swimming head. I couldn't even manage to put my shoes on, much less board a train.
The more I lamented her plight, the worse my chills and the lighter my head. The best course of action, we
agreed, was to call for the doctor without delay. A timely dose of medicine, and I'd be right as rain by four.
We sent for Doctor Amaki, but unfortunately he'd been on duty at the university the evening prior and was
not yet back home. He'd be back around two, and they promised to dispatch him as soon as he returned.
What a bind. A little kyōninsui now, and I'd surely be better by four. But misfortune breeds misfortune,
and my plans for a splendid time, my wife smiling at my side, were going off the rails. She asked me, witha reproachful look, if I couldn't find some way to manage. 'I'm going,' I told her, 'I'm absolutely going. I'llbe better by four. You'll see. Don't worry about me. Wash your face and get yourself changed.' These were
the words that I formed with my lips, but deep down I was highly distraught. The chills intensified, andthe room began to spin. If I didn't recover by four and deliver on my promise, there was no telling how
this small-minded woman might react. The situation was desperate. What should I do? I began to think it
my duty, as a husband to his wife, to prepare her for the worst and ease the shock should it come to pass. I
would explain to her that all existence is fleeting, and how all things living are destined to die.""I called my wife to the study at once. 'There's a Western saying many a slip 'twixt the cup and the lip
Even you, though a woman, must surely know this one.' 'How would anyone know what that means? This
English you dole out on unsuspecting listeners, knowing full well that they don't understand, is nothing
more than an instrument of mockery. Fine then, I don't know what it means. If you love English so much,
why didn't you marry a mission school girl? Your heart is colder than cold!' Her menacing glare disarmed
me. Let me explain here that I had not surfaced this English with any ill intent. My only motivation was
sincere concern for my wife, and when she misconstrued my purpose, it left me dangling. The chills andthe vertigo, and my haste to expound on the fleeting nature of existence, on the truth that all things mustdie, had conspired to confuse me, and I'd drawn on my English, forgetting entirely that the wife could notunderstand. After this misstep, my chills intensified, and the room started to spin. The wife did as I'd
directed her. She retired to the bathroom and cleansed and powdered her shoulders and neckline. Then she
donned her kimono. She was prepared to depart and only waiting on me. I felt myself on tenterhooks.
Hoping Amaki would arrive soon, I glanced at the clock and saw it was three. Only one more hour tillfour. 'Shall we go soon?' My wife opened the study door and looked in. I know I shouldn't praise my own
wife, but I've never thought her more beautiful that I did in that moment. The sheen of her freshly-washedskin reflected against the black crepe of her haori. Her countenance sparkled, both from without andwithin, from the dual effects of the soap and her expectation of Settsu Daijō's performance. I couldn't
disappoint her. I was determined to go. I smoked a smoke and prepared to make the effort. Just then,Doctor Amaki appeared.""He'd arrived as if on cue. After I described my situation, he looked at my tongue, took my pulse, tapped
my chest, rubbed my back, turned up my eyelids, patted my scalp, and thought for a moment. 'I'm afraid it
may be serious,' I told him. 'No,' he replied calmly, 'I doubt it's anything much.' 'Would it be too much to13ōI am a Cat – Chapter 2b – S seki Projectgo out for a bit?' the wife asked him. 'It's fine,' he replied, then thought for another moment. 'As long as
he's feeling well enough ...' 'But I don't feel well,' I reminded him. 'In that case, I'll give you a one-timedose and some syrup.' 'Will that be enough? I'm concerned it may turn dire.' 'No, there's absolutely noneed to worry. Relax, and keep your mind at ease.' And with that he was gone. It was after three thirty. The
maidservant was sent for the medicine. Under strict orders from the wife, she raced out and hurried back.
It was now quarter till four. We had fifteen minutes left. Then, around four fifty, for the first time and all ofa sudden, nausea overtook me. The wife had dispensed my syrup into a cup and set it before me. As I took
it and tried to drink, my stomach responded with a rush of resistance. I had to set the cup back down.
'You'd best drink it quick,' the wife urged me. Duty called. I had to drink it quick and we had to be off.
Resolved to get it down, I brought the cup back to my lips but was thwarted again by unabated revulsion. I
tried to drink then set it down, tried again and again set it down. The clock in the parlor chimed out fourbeats. It was four o'clock. No time to waste, I thought, and again took up the cup. The most curious ofthings occurred. With the sounding of four, my nausea was gone. I readily downed the syrup. By ten pastfour, I counted myself among Doctor Amaki's admirers. The chill in my spine and the swimming in myhead were gone, banished like a bad dream. I was overjoyed to find myself fully recovered. This affliction,
which had knocked me off my feet and threatened to keep me down, was gone without a trace.""Then the two of you headed off for Kabuki-za?" asked Meitei, an uncomprehending expression on his
face.
"We wanted to, but it was already past four and too late, in my wife's opinion, to gain admittance. So westayed home. If only the doctor'd come fifteen minutes sooner. I could have fulfilled my obligation, andmy wife would have been so pleased. A mere fifteen minutes. Such a shame. Even now, it pains me tothink how close we came."
The master, having concluded his tale, looked like a man who'd just unloaded a burden. He likely felt he'dheld his own in his present company.
"That certainly was a shame," Kangetsu remarked with his signature grin, his missing tooth front andcenter.
Meitei's face was a blank. "Your wife must count herself fortunate, blessed with such a devoted husband,"he remarked half to himself. The wife, from the other side of the shōji, conspicuously cleared her throat.
I'd listened patiently as the three of them, in turn, had related their tales. I'd been neither amused nor
moved. Human beings, when they've time to kill, seem compelled to exercise their mouths. Their soletalent, as I saw it, was invoking laughter in the absence of amusement and invoking delight in the absenceof intrigue. I'd come to know my master as self-indulgent and narrow-minded, but his reticence had
always left me thinking that there must be some side to him that I hadn't seen. I'd always worried that I
14ōI am a Cat – Chapter 2b – S seki Project

must be missing something, but now, having heard him tell this tale, I was fully inclined to despise him.
Why couldn't he simply listen quietly to the others' tales? What did he think to gain by heaping his own
nonsensical chatter onto the pile? Perhaps Epictetus advocated such conduct in his writings. At the end of
the day, the master and Kangetsu and Meitei, though they fancied themselves men of quiet leisure aloof
from the fray, like dried gourds swaying with the breeze, were in fact ambitious and yearnful. Throughcracks in their conversation shone flickers of rivalry and one-upmanship. They themselves were but asmall step removed from the common man they so loved to denigrate. As a cat, I couldn't help but pity
them. Their only redemption was a linguistic proficiency that set them apart from the usual dilettante andhis hackneyed rub.
Looking at it this way, I decided I'd had enough of these three and their shallow words. Thinking to checkin on Mikeko, I made my way round to the koto teacher's garden gate. It was already the tenth of themonth, and the New Year's adornments were gone, but a fine spring sun shone down from a deep andcloudless sky, casting the world in a clear light. The surface of the small garden glowed fresh and vibrant,
more so than it had in the early light of the new year. There was a single cushion on the veranda, but nosign of human presence. The shōji were shut tight. Perhaps the teacher was off at the baths. It was fine if
she was. Mikeko's condition was what concerned me. I hoped she was feeling better. The place wasdeserted with no sign of life, so I jumped onto the veranda, dirty feet notwithstanding, and sprawled
myself out on the cushion. It was heavenly. I relaxed and dozed a bit, forgetting Mikeko for the moment,
until voices suddenly sounded from behind the shōji.
"Thank you so much. Was it ready then?" The teacher was home after all.
"Yes, sorry to keep you waiting. When I arrived, the master told me he was just finishing." "Let's have alook. Ah, it's beautifully done. Mikeko's rest will be one of peace. The gold won't peel, will it?" "I asked
about that, and he assured me it's top quality. No human, he said, has ever had a finer tablet. ...One morething. He said the character for 'Blessed' would look better stylized, so he altered the strokes a bit." "I see.
Yes. Let's set it on the altar and offer up incense."
Something was amiss with Mikeko. Thinking this all too strange, I rose to my feet on the cushion. Ding
went the altar bell, and the teacher recited a prayer.
You too. Send her off with a prayer.
The bell dinged again, and this time the maidservant recited a prayer. My heart suddenly raced. I stoodtransfixed on the cushion, like a cat carved of wood. Even my gaze was frozen.

15ōI am a Cat – Chapter 2b – S seki Project"Unfortunate it's come to this. It seemed at first to be nothing more than a cold." "If only Doctor Amaki
had given her medicine." "That doctor's clearly at fault. He dismissed our Miké too lightly." "Let's not
speak ill of others, now. A cat's days too are numbered."
Mikeko, it seemed, had also been seen by Doctor Amaki.
"In the end, I think, it was that stray from the teacher's place in the front lane, enticing her out too often.""Agreed. That scoundrel was Miké's downfall."I was inclined to defend myself, but the situation demanded restraint, so I swallowed hard and listened on.
"This world doesn't bend to our wishes. A beauty like Miké is gone too soon, while that ugly stray lives on
and thrives, doing what he does ..." "Right you are. One could beat the bushes with bell and drum andnever find another gal like Miké."
She used the word gal rather than cat. This maidservant knows no distinction between cats and humans.
Come to think of it, that face of hers all but marks her one of us.
"If instead of Miké it could have been ..." "It would have been fitting had that teacher's stray been the one
to die."Not fitting for me. Having never experienced death, I can't say what it's like or how I would take it.
However, the other day I crawled into the coals jar to keep warm, and the maidservant, not realizing I wasin there, trapped me with the lid. I cringe even now to recall the distress. According to Shiro, death entails
similar distress, just lasting a little bit longer. There's nothing I wouldn't do for Mikeko, but if death
demands such distress, then I'd rather not die for another.
"I've no regrets that we haven't done right by our cat. We called in a priest to recite a sutra, and she's been
assigned a posthumous name." "Indeed. She's been greatly favored in our care. I only wish that that
Gekkei-ji priest's sutra could have been more substantial." "It seemed to end quite soon, so I asked him if
he hadn't been awfully brief. He assured me it was a potent sutra, adequate to carry a cat to the Pure
Land." "Well then ... That stray on the other hand ..."As I've stated often enough, I don't have a name. In spite of that, this maidservant insists on calling me"stray." Insolent thing.
"Grave are his transgressions. No sutra, however potent, will deliver that stray to salvation."
How many myriad times she called me stray thereafter, I cannot say. Having had enough of their endlessclaptrap, I slipped off the cushion, jumped down from the veranda, stood every hair of my body on end,16

ōI am a Cat – Chapter 2b – S seki Projectand gave myself a hearty shake. Since then, I've kept my distance from the koto teacher. It may be nightime that the Gekkei-ji priest send her off herself with a modest prayer.
Of late, I'm not so bold as to venture out. The world seems, somehow, a weary and listless place. I'm a donothing cat, no less reclusive than my master. They say it was a broken heart that led the master to shuthimself up in his study, and I can understand now how this may well be.
I've yet to catch a mouse still, and Osan has argued for putting me out, but the master sees things
differently. He knows I'm not the typical cat, and he allows me to idle my days in his home. I appreciate
greatly the master's benevolence, and I eagerly express my respect, whenever the occasion presents itself,
for his well-discerning eye. Osan, oblivious to my merits, continues to mistreat me, but I take no offense.
In due time, another Hidari Jingorō will emerge to carve my likeness into pillars of tower gates. Or aJapanese Steinlen will appear to set my image to canvas. Then, finally and for the first time, will suchdimwits look back with shame on their own ignorance.

17

ōI am a Cat – Chapter 2b – S seki Project