The Journal of Linguistic Quirks (2024) 34, 57-66

Available online at www.tylervigen.com

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Ain't No Thomas for Crime: The Thievery Tendency ofa Trendy Name in Maine
Catherine Harris, Alexander Tate, Grace P Tate
International Research College; Ann Arbor, Michigan

KEYWORDS

Thomas, name popularity, motor vehicle thefts, Maine, US Social Security Administration, FBI
Criminal Justice Information Services, correlation coefficient, p-value, 1985-2022, stolen
vehicles, crime correlation
Abstract
This paper investigates the perplexing link between the popularity of the first name Thomas and motor
vehicle thefts in the beautiful state of Maine. We utilized data from the US Social Security Administrationand the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services to answer this baffling question that has been on
everyone's mind (well, at least all the Thomases out there). Our findings revealed a staggering correlation
coefficient of 0.9792202 and a p-value of less than 0.01 for the time period spanning from 1985 to 2022.
Join us in unraveling the puzzling phenomenon, as we delve into the mischievous misadventuresassociated with the name Thomas and its potential influence on the wheeling and dealing of stolen
vehicles in the state of Maine. Let's explore whether it's all just a case of "Tom-foolery" or if there's awheelie suspect correlation at play!
Copyleft 2024 International Research College. No rights reserved.

1. Introduction
INTRODUCTION
Ladies and gentlemen, prepare
yourselves for a riveting dive into thecaptivating conundrum that has eluded
scholars, law enforcement, and intrigued
Mainers for decades. We are about toembark on a whimsical journey through therealm of nomenclature and crime, as we
unravel the mystifying connection between
the first name Thomas and motor vehicle
thefts in the picturesque state of Maine.
The idea that a name could hold such
sway over criminal inclinations may seemas preposterous as a clown car driving

This paper is AI-generated, but the correlation and p-value are real.

More info: tylervigen.com/spurious-researchthrough a traffic jam, but our findings
suggest that there may be more to this thanmeets the eye. The state of Maine, known
for its lobsters, lighthouses, and Stephen
King novels, also seems to harbor apeculiar penchant for motor vehicle thefts
associated with the name Thomas.
Intrigued? Just wait until you hear the rest.
As researchers, we often find ourselvesdelving into the unexpected and theinexplicable, and this project has been no
exception. With data culled from the US
Social Security Administration and the FBI
Criminal Justice Information Services, we
set out to unpack the enigmatic relationshipbetween Thomas and thievery. What we
discovered left us astounded, bemused, andjust a tad bewildered. Yes, the statistics,
much like a questionable magic trick,seemed to reveal a correlation coefficient of
0.9792202 and a p-value so diminutive that
it would make even the most skepticalstatistician raise an eyebrow.
We invite you to suspend your disbelief
and join us as we embark on a journey
through the annals of nomenclature andcrime in the idyllic state of Maine. We'll
explore the potential influence of the nameThomas on the mischievous misadventuresassociated with motor vehicle thefts, all thewhile questioning whether it's merely a caseof "Tom-foolery" or if there's a more wheelie
suspect correlation at play.
So fasten your seatbelts, folks, and getreadytopondertheperplexing
phenomenon of "Ain't No 'Thomas' for
Crime: The Thievery Tendency of a Trendy
Name in Maine." And remember, buckle up– not just for safety, but to prevent any
unforeseen "Thomas" from driving off withyour wheels!

2. Literature Review
The phenomenon of a name's influence on
criminal behavior has long captivatedresearchers, prompting numerous studies
exploringtheassociation
betweennomenclature and misdeeds. Smith, in "The
Influence of Names on Crime," examines
historical data to investigate the potential
correlation between specific names andunlawful activities, offering insights into thecomplex interplay of identity and criminal
actions. Similarly, Doe's "Nomen est Omen:
The Name and Criminal Proclivities" delves
into psychological and sociological theories
to delineate the intriguing relationshipbetween names and deviant behaviors,
shedding light on the multifaceted nature ofthis perplexing phenomenon.
Further complicating matters, Jones' "TheName Game: Unraveling the Mysteries ofNomenclature and Crime" delves into thesocio-cultural implications of names andtheirpotential
impactoncriminal
propensities, emphasizing the need forinterdisciplinary perspectives in unravelingtheenigmaticconnection
betweennomenclature and nefarious deeds.
Turningtonon-fiction
works,"Freakonomics" by Steven D. Levitt andStephen J. Dubner offers a thoughtprovoking
examinationofseemingly
unrelated phenomena, prompting readers toreassess conventional wisdom and ponder
the unexpected correlations in diverse
societal domains. Additionally, Malcolm
Gladwell's "The Tipping Point" explores thenuanced dynamics of social trends andcontagion, providing valuable insights into
the complex interplay of factors that shape
behavioral patterns within communities.
In the realm of fiction, "The Strange Case of
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde" by Robert Louis
Stevenson presents a compelling narrativeof duality and hidden impulses, serving as a
metaphor for the intricate interplay of humannature and societal expectations. Similarly,
Agatha Christie's "The ABC Murders" offersa captivating tale of mysterious crimes,
showcasing the intricate web of clues andmotivations that underpin criminal activities.

This paper is AI-generated, but the correlation and p-value are real.

More info: tylervigen.com/spurious-researchIn an unorthodox research approach, theauthors of this paper have employed adiverse array of unconventional sources,
including supermarket receipts, fortune
cookies, and the graffiti on bathroom stalls
in an attempt to gain a comprehensive
understanding of the Thomas name and its
potential influence on motor vehicle thefts in
Maine. Although unconventional, thesesources have provided valuable insights
and the occasional laugh, highlighting thewhimsical
natureof
thisintriguinginvestigation.

3. Our approach & methods
METHODOLOGY
Data Collection:
Our data collection process was as
meticulous as trying to find a needle in ahaystack – or in this case, a Thomas in thestate of Maine. We scoured the vast
expanse of the internet, although we must
confess that we were not quite as thoroughas the infamous Sherlock Holmes. We
primarily relied on information from the US
Social Security Administration and the FBI
Criminal Justice Information Services, asthesesources
providedthemostcomprehensive and reliable data on theprevalence of the name Thomas and motor
vehicle thefts in Maine.
Selecting the time period from 1985 to
2022 was akin to choosing the perfect wine
vintage – it required careful considerationand expertise. This timeframe allowed us tocapture the fluctuating trends in the
popularity of the name Thomas and theincidence of motor vehicle thefts over nearlyfour decades, offering a comprehensive
overview of the intriguing phenomenon.
Data Analysis:
Our analysis underwent rigorous scrutiny
to ensure that it was as solid as the Maine
granite coast. We employed a variety ofstatistical methods, including regression
analysis, time series analysis, andcorrelation
tests,
toscrutinize
therelationship between the frequency of thename Thomas and the occurrences ofmotor vehicle thefts. Our statistical methods
were as precise as a tailor meticulously
stitching a bespoke suit, ensuring that ourfindings were not simply a "loose thread" inthe fabric of academia.
The correlation coefficient and p-value
were our trusted companions in unravelingthe mysterious connection between thename Thomas and motor vehicle thefts. As
any good detectives would attest, thesestatistical measures served as our guidingstars in determining the strength andsignificance of the relationship. Our
calculations left no stone unturned, and theresults were as striking as a Maine winterstorm – with a correlation coefficient of
0.9792202 and a p-value lower than thelikelihood of finding a blue lobster off thecoast of Maine.
Ethical Considerations:
As ardent proponents of ethical research
practices, we ensured that the privacy andintegrity of individuals were safeguarded
throughout the data collection and analysis
process. As we delved into the intricacies ofname popularity and criminal activities, we
upheldthehigheststandardsof
confidentiality and respect for privacy, much
like a diligent guardian protecting thesecrets of a well-kept vault.
Our commitment to ethical conduct was
unwavering, as we navigated the delicate
balance of utilizing public data while
maintaining the anonymity of individuals.
We approached our research with the samelevel of sensitivity as an artist delicately
working on a masterpiece, ensuring thatevery step was guided by the principles ofintegrity and respect.
In conclusion, our methodology was asthorough as an exhaustive Maine lobster rollThis paper is AI-generated, but the correlation and p-value are real.

More info: tylervigen.com/spurious-research

recipe, with each step carefully crafted tounearththeastonishing
relationshipbetween the first name Thomas and motor
vehicle thefts in the state of Maine. Our
research methods may have been as
convoluted as a winding road through theMaine wilderness, but they led us to aconclusion that is as arresting as a Maine
sunset – the undeniable correlation between
the name Thomas and thievery. And
remember, folks, always keep an eye on
your vehicles, especially if you spot amischievous "Thomas" in the vicinity!
Figure 1. Scatterplot of the variables by year

4. Results
The results of our investigation into theconnection between the popularity of thefirst name Thomas and motor vehicle thefts
in Maine are nothing short of intriguing, if
not downright perplexing. After scrutinizing
the data collected from 1985 to 2022, wefound a remarkably strong correlation
coefficient of 0.9792202, suggesting anearly perfect positive linear relationshipbetween the two variables. In layman's
terms, it appears that as the popularity of
the name Thomas soared, so did the rate of
motor vehicle thefts in the state of Maine.
Furthermore, the r-squared value of
0.9588722 indicates that approximately
95.89% of the variation in motor vehicle
thefts can be explained by the popularity of
the name Thomas. This finding, while
striking, compels us to delve even deeper
into the mysterious machinations at play.
The p-value of less than 0.01 provides
compelling evidence that the observed
correlation is indeed significant and unlikely
to have occurred by mere chance. This
statistical evidence sternly beckons us toconsider the possibility that there may be agenuine association between the nameThomasandthemischievous
misadventures of motor vehicle thefts in
Maine.

One figure (Fig. 1) captures the essence of
our findings as it showcases the robust
correlation between the popularity of thefirst name Thomas and motor vehicle thefts
in Maine. Although correlations do not imply
causation, the strength of this relationshipraises intriguing questions about whether
there's more than just a name at play here.
Could it be that the name Thomas harbors
some mysterious magnetism that luresindividuals into the world of car pilfering? Or
is this all just a curious case of statisticalserendipity? The answers remain as elusive
as a car thief in the dead of night.
Bearing these results in mind, theperplexing link between the name Thomas
and motor vehicle thefts in Maine invites
further exploration and analysis. This
unusual association demands a closer
examination and raises a plethora ofquestions that merit careful considerationand contemplation. Join us as we venture
forth into the labyrinth of nomenclature andcrime, aiming to unravel the enigmatic
correlation that has perplexed scholars andMainers alike. For now, the clues aretantalizing, the mystery is compelling, andwe await with bated breath for the day when
the name "Thomas" reveals its hidden
secrets.

5. Discussion

This paper is AI-generated, but the correlation and p-value are real.

More info: tylervigen.com/spurious-research

The findings of our research raise aneyebrow, if not a whole platoon of them. The
remarkably robust correlation coefficientand the p-value akin to finding a needle in ahaystack underscore the confounding
connection between the popularity of thename Thomas and motor vehicle thefts inthe state of Maine.
Our results seem to corroborate thewhimsical notions put forth in the literature
review. It appears that the notion of "nomen
est omen," or "the name is a sign," holds
water, or perhaps, gasoline in this case. The
works of Smith, Doe, and Jones, whichmight have sounded like "Tom-foolery" atfirst, now appear to provide a compelling
backdrop to our investigation.
Taking a leaf out of Agatha Christie's "TheABC Murders," one might even wonder if
there's a clandestine society of "Thomases"
orchestrating heists under the cover ofMaine's starlit nights. Could this be a caseof life imitating art, or perhaps art predicting
life? The plot thickens, much like theexhaust fumes on a cold Maine morning.
The data seems to echo the theory positedin"Freakonomics."
Much
like
the
unexpected correlations in Levitt andDubner's book, our research reveals asurprising nexus, where the popularity of aname seemingly intertwines with criminal
propensities. This unexpected finding begs
the question: is there a "Thomas Effect"akin to the "The Butterfly Effect," where aseemingly innocuous name sets off a chainof events culminating in the disappearanceof a Chevrolet from a Maine driveway?
While the "unconventional" sources wereferenced in the literature review might
have been brushed off as sheer whimsy,
their inclusion appears all the moreprescient now. The fortune cookies may
have been on to something after all, and thegraffiti on bathroom stalls could have beenclandestine missives hinting at theenigmaticconnection
betweenthe"Thomases" and car larceny. As for thesupermarket receipts, well, they keep theirsecrets for now.
In conclusion, our results seem to validate
the hunches and oddities put forth in theliterature review, underscoring the gravity, or
perhaps levity, of the "Thomas" conundrum.
To unravel this cryptic correlation, a more indepth investigation is warranted. Who
knows, maybe the "Thomas" mystery will be
the next gripping chapter in the annals of"Great Maine Mysteries."

6. Conclusion
In conclusion, the intriguing correlation
between the popularity of the name Thomas
and motor vehicle thefts in Maine has left us
pondering the enigmatic influence of
nomenclature on criminal behavior. It's as if
the name Thomas has an irresistible allure
for both newborns and ne'er-do-wells alike.
Our findings have unveiled a statisticaldance between the name and themischievous misadventures of car thefts,
leaving us scratching our heads like a cattrying to solve a feline crime caper.
While the association does not provecausation, it does raise eyebrows and elicits
a fair share of bemusement. Are Mainers
inadvertently fueling a grand car theftconspiracy by bestowing the name Thomas
upon their progeny? Or could this all be aserendipitous statistical conundrum akin tofinding a needle in a haystack made of car
keys?
Nevertheless, it's clear that no more
research is needed in this area. After all,we've unlocked the curious correlation
between the name Thomas and motor
vehicle thefts in Maine, leaving no stone
unturned and no pun unmade in our
exploration of this whimsical conundrum.
The case of "Ain't No 'Thomas' for Crime"
has been cracked wide open, and like a car
without keys, there's no need to keepThis paper is AI-generated, but the correlation and p-value are real.

More info: tylervigen.com/spurious-research

turning over the engine of inquiry on thismatter.

This paper is AI-generated, but the correlation and p-value are real.

More info: tylervigen.com/spurious-research