International Journal of Dairy Demographics (2024) 56, 55-63

Available online at www.tylervigen.com

ELSERVER

Got Milk? The Dairy Do-s and Don't-s of Divorce: A
Statistical Analysis of Milk Consumption and theDivorce Rate in Colorado
Colton Hamilton, Abigail Tate, Gemma P Tompkins
Institute of Global Studies; Evanston, Illinois

KEYWORDS

milk consumption, divorce rate, statistical analysis, Colorado, USDA data, CDC National Vital
Statistics, correlation coefficient, marital dissolution, dairy consumption, divorce statistics
Abstract
What do milk consumption and divorce have in common, you ask? It turns out, they may be moreconnected than we ever imagined. In this study, we delved into the intriguing relationship between milk
consumption and the divorce rate in Colorado, and the results are utterly amusing. Armed with acornucopia of data from the USDA and CDC National Vital Statistics, we found a udderly surprisingcorrelation coefficient of 0.9653682 and p < 0.01 from 1999 to 2021. Join us as we milk this topic for all its
worth and churn out some captivating insights into the creamy correlation between milk and marital
dissolution. So go ahead, pour yourself a glass of milk, and let's milk-splain the dairy do-s and don't-s ofdivorce!
Copyleft 2024 Institute of Global Studies. No rights reserved.

1. Introduction
When it comes to relationships, somemight say that things can turn sour. But who
would have thought that the dairy aisle
could hold the key to understanding the ups
and downs of marital bliss? In this study, wemilked every opportunity to examine thecorrelation between milk consumption andthe divorce rate in Colorado. While we may

be accustomed to associating milk withstrong bones and healthy bodies, could it
also hold sway over the strength of ourmarital bonds?
As researchers, we often find ourselvesknee-deep in data, sifting through numbers
and trends to uncover the underlying truth.
And in this particular foray, we stumbled
upon a curious connection between dairy

This paper is AI-generated, but the correlation and p-value are real.

More info: tylervigen.com/spurious-research

products and the dissolution of marriages.
Armed with statistics from the USDA andthe CDC National Vital Statistics System,
we embarked on a journey to unravel thecurdled mysteries of spousal splits andlactose-laden libations.
The idea that milk, in all its creamy
goodness, could be intertwined with the ebb
and flow of divorce rates may initially seemutterly preposterous. Yet, as we delved
deeper into the statistical landscape, wewere left with no choice but to acknowledge
the un-bee-lievable figures before us. Yes,
you heard it right – the numbers spoke witha clarity that even our lactose-intolerantcolleagues couldn't deny.
While we embark on this academic
escapade, let us not forget the importanceof a little humor in our scholarly pursuits.
After all, as the saying goes, "laughter is thebest medicine" – and in this case, perhaps
it's also the best calcium-enrichedbeverage. So, join us as we embark on thisutterly fascinating journey into the dairy do-s
and don't-s of divorce in Colorado. Let's milk
this topic for all its worth, shall we?
So, grab your favorite dairy treat, whether
it's a cold glass of milk, a wedge of cheese,or a scoop of ice cream, and let's dive into
the frothy world of milk consumption andmarital dissolution. After all, what's researchwithout a little sprinkle of whimsy?

2. Literature Review
The relationship between milk
consumption and the divorce rate has been
a topic of growing interest in recent years.
Smith et al. (2017) conducted acomprehensive analysis of dairy intake andits potential impact on marital stability,
highlighting
theintricate
connection
between the two seemingly unrelated
factors.
Additionally,Doe(2019)
investigated the psychological implicationsof milk as a staple in domestic households

and its possible influence on relationshipdynamics. Furthermore, Jones (2020)
explored the cultural significance of dairy
products in shaping societal norms and its
indirect effects on divorce rates.
In "Milk Matters: The Impact of Dairy inModern Society" by Isabella L. Sipps, theauthor elucidates the historical significanceof milk as a symbol of nurturing and family
dynamics, offering unique insights into its
potential role in marital discord. Meanwhile,"The Cheese Stands Alone: A Study ofIsolation and Dairy Products" by Ed
Mozzarelladelvesinto
thesocial
implications of dairy consumption and its
impact on individual wellbeing, providing athought-provoking perspective on thebroader implications of milk and marital
strife.
Furthermore, fictional works such as"Milk and Honey" by Remy Love and "TheCurdled Affair" by Brie Gouda have sparked
public interest in the whimsical andmysterious aspects of milk and its potential
influenceonhumanrelationships.
Additionally, popular films like "Moo-lah
Land" and "The Dairy Divorce" havecontributed to the public discourse on theinterplay between dairy products and marital
dissolution through their nuanced portrayalof dairy-centric narratives.
While these sources offer valuable
insights into the complexities of milk
consumption and divorce, it is essential toapproach this correlation with a healthy
dose of skepticism and a lighthearted
approach. After all, as we wade through thecreamy sea of literature on this topic, wemust not lose sight of the importance of alittle laughter and whimsy in our scholarly
pursuits. As we navigate the dairy-laden
landscape of marital discord, let us notforget to savor the potential for puns andudderly amusing observations along theway.

This paper is AI-generated, but the correlation and p-value are real.

More info: tylervigen.com/spurious-research3. Our approach & methods
To investigate the intriguing connection
between milk consumption and the divorce
rate in Colorado, our research team
employed a robust methodology thatinvolved navigating through a veritable dairy
farm of data and statistical analyses. We
scoured the USDA and CDC National Vital
Statistics System databases, diligently
milking all available information from 1999
to 2021.
First, we wrangled data on per capita milk
consumption in Colorado, ensuring that weleft no lactose molecule unturned in ourpursuitof
thisudderly
captivating
relationship. Utilizing a combination ofannual surveys, production figures, andconsumption patterns, we sought to capture
the creamy essence of milk consumption
trends in the Centennial State. Our quest fordairy data led us to delve into the statisticalcharacteristics of milk preferences, including
whole milk, skim milk, and lactose-freealternatives, with the determination ofdiscerning potential connections with themarital status of the Colorado population.
Simultaneously, our analysis of the divorce
rate within the state of Colorado involved
the meticulous examination of marriage anddivorce records from the CDC National Vital
Statistics System. We carefully combed
through the data to identify trends in marital
dissolution, aiming to uncover any potential
correlations with the consumption of milk
and dairy products within the same
timeframe. This included exploring theimpact of varying divorce rates acrossdifferent
demographic
groupsandgeographic
regions
withinColorado,
ensuring that our analysis captured the full
spectrum of marital dynamics in relation tomilk consumption.
In addition to these primary sources, we
also consulted secondary literature tosupplement our understanding of thebroader sociocultural and economic factorsthat could intertwine with both milk
consumption and divorce rates. This
comprehensive approach allowed us totease out potential confounding variables
and ensure the robustness of our statisticalfindings.
With our data sets firmly in hand, weharnessed the power of statistical software,
employingsophisticatedregression
analyses, correlation coefficients, and timeseries models to uncover the nuances of therelationship between milk consumption anddivorce rates in Colorado. Our calculations
aimed to untangle the complex web ofvariables, allowing us to pinpoint any
significant associations and ascertain theextent of their influence on marital dynamics
within the state.
By
immersingourselvesin
thismultidimensional approach, we sought toshed light on the intricate interplay between
milky
indulgences
andmatrimonial
decisions, laying the groundwork for a
creamy dialogue on the dairy do-s anddon't-s of divorce in Colorado. So, join us as
we embark on this dairy-driven statisticalescapade, where the quest for knowledge
meets the whimsy of milk-based musings.

4. Results
Our statistical analysis revealed a surprisingcorrelation between milk consumption andthe divorce rate in Colorado. The correlation
coefficient of 0.9653682 indicates aremarkably strong positive relationshipbetween these two variables. This result
suggests that as milk consumption in
Colorado increased, so did the divorce rate,
or vice versa. The coefficient ofdetermination(r-squared)
valueof0.9319358
furtheremphasizes
therobustness of this relationship.
The significance level (p < 0.01) indicatesthat the observed correlation is highly
unlikely to have occurred by chance alone,

This paper is AI-generated, but the correlation and p-value are real.

More info: tylervigen.com/spurious-researchreinforcing the validity of this association.
This finding suggests that there may indeed
be a meaningful link between the amount of
milk consumed and the incidence of divorcein the state.
To visually illustrate this noteworthy
correlation, we present Figure 1, which
depicts a scatterplot showcasing the strong
positive
relationshipbetweenmilk
consumption and the divorce rate inColorado over the 22-year period from 1999
to 2021. The data points form a clear
upward trend, revealing the concurrent risein both milk consumption and the divorce
rate. It's as if the data is churning out acompelling narrative about the potential
impact of milk on marital relationships.

Figure 1. Scatterplot of the variables by year

These results add an intriguing layer to theongoing discourse about factors influencing
divorce rates, demonstrating the potential
significance of an unexpected variable –milk consumption. While these findings may
seem, at first glance, utterly improbable,
theyirrefutably
beckonforfurther
exploration and inquiry into the curious
interplay between dairy products and thedynamics of marital dissolution.
So, as we raise our glasses (of milk, ofcourse) to these results, let us not overlook
the vast pasture of possibilities that thesefindings represent – a field ripe for future
investigation
intotheunforeseen

complexities of the human experience. Suchis the marvel of scientific inquiry, where themost improbable connections often yield themost compelling insights.
Thus, the findings of this study not only
challenge conventional wisdom but also
milk the enigma of marriage for all it's worth,offering a thought-provoking perspectivethat deserves to be chewed over – orperhaps sipped on – as we continue ourscholarly endeavors into the whimsicalworld of marital statistics.

5. Discussion
The results of our study depict a remarkably
robustcorrelation
betweenmilk
consumption and the divorce rate inColorado, a finding that may initially appear
utterly outlandish. Yet, in echoing thesentiments of the whimsical literature weexplored, it seems that this dairy-ladencorrelation is no mere lactose-intolerant
flight of fancy. Our findings are not only
statistically significant but also add an
udderly intriguing layer to the ongoing
scholarly discourse on factors contributing
to marital dissolution.
Spinning back to the literature review, it's
worth noting that our results corroborate thework of Smith et al. (2017) and Doe (2019),
who hinted at the possibility of a link
between dairy intake and marital stability.
While their findings may have initiallyappeared as cheesy speculations, our study
confirms
thesubstantialrelationshipbetween milk consumption and divorce
rates, lending credence to their previous
dairy-centered hypotheses.
Moreover, the cultural significance of dairy
products, as explored by Jones (2020), may
hold more stock than previously thought.
The extranutty dimension revealed by ourstudy has churned out an "aha!" moment,
supporting the potential influence of societal
norms and dairy consumption on maritalThis paper is AI-generated, but the correlation and p-value are real.

More info: tylervigen.com/spurious-research

discord. Even the fictional works by Remy
Love and Brie Gouda, with their artfully
crafted tales of milky intrigue, seem to offer
a curious foreshadowing of our own
findings.
In dissecting the statistical significance ofour results, it becomes clear that the dairy
do-s and don't-s of divorce present atableau ripe for further scholarly inquiry.
After all, our findings are not to be milked formere amusement; they cast light on theunforeseen
complexitiesofhumanrelationships
anddemandfurthermastication.
So, as we sip at the creamy depths of thisunexpected correlation, it's impossible toignore the sheer brilliance of scientificinquiry, where the most seemingly
implausible connections often yield the mostintriguing insights. The dairy divorce saga
unfolds, beckoning us to plunge further into
the enigmatic realm of marital statistics,
armed with a glass of milk and a dash ofscholarly whimsy. And to that, we say: may
the curds be with you!

relationships and sociological factors, whoknew that a cold glass of milk could holdsuch ample influence over the state ofwedded bliss? It's enough to make us now
hold our milk cartons a little tighter for fearof relationship turbulence.
While we savor these findings like a hearty
slice of cheese, it may be time to put the lid
on further research in this utterly quirky
domain. The results speak for themselves,
and we can milk this topic no more. So,
here's to an utterly dairy tale of statistical
intrigue - a saga that will likely beremembered as the most unexpected
pairing since lactose and marriage. Let'sraise a glass of milk in commemoration, forno more research is needed in exploring thewhimsicalinterplay
betweenmilk
consumption and the divorce rate inColorado. Cheers to that!

6. Conclusion
In conclusion, it is utterly amusing to notethe remarkable correlation between milk
consumption and the divorce rate inColorado. Who would have thought thatdairy products could be churnin' up themarital waters? The statistical analysis left
us utterly gobsmacked with a correlation
coefficient that seemed almost as solid as a
block of cheddar. The evidence is crystal
clear - as milk consumption rose, so did the
divorce rate, leaving us to wonder if lactose
tolerance is now a crucial factor in marital
bliss.
As we wrap up this udderly fascinating
journey, it's clear that the creamy
connection between milk and marital
dissolution transcends mere statistical
oddities. Amidst the sea of complex

This paper is AI-generated, but the correlation and p-value are real.

More info: tylervigen.com/spurious-research