The 28th Foreign Correspondent Report

A Daughter’s Choice: To Marry or Stay Single?
Ms. Jeong HYOMIN (KOREA)
Is staying single a social evil?
In 2019, there is no need for people to discuss their marital status when talking withneighbors. However, even in this modern age, it is not acceptable for people to stay single
and the fact that someone is not married is considered to be a social problem. Our society
only talks about single people who want to get married but are still waiting to find apartner, not those who choose to stay single.
Society’s belief that a person's marital status is the only way for a man or woman to achieve
stability in his or her life creates a negative perception of people who choose not to marry.
This begins with believing that the “normal” family is a key structure in society. In the"normal” family, men are responsible for the livelihood of families in the public domain of
wage markets, and women are exclusively responsible for households and their children in
the private sector of the family, and contribute to the maintenance of society throughreproduction. In other words, if women and men do not meet and form a family, it will
undermine the overall maintenance of society. From a society-wide perspective, this is only
a negative view of single life.
Women choose not to marry, witnessing a break in the career of married women aroundthem. This leads to a fall in birthrates, and women who elect not to marry become a lessvisible, less “valuable” part of society. In other words, women who do not marry threaten
the hierarchy of sexuality and are blamed for hindering social maintenance throughreproduction, which has been viewed as stable in the “normal” family.
Causes of non-marriage
Indeed, are women who choose not to marry irresponsible beings who are avoiding taking
up their role in the traditional family order? In a survey conducted by a research firm
Micromill Embrain, both men and women in their 20s said that “monetary reasons or losing
their sense of self” were the biggest reasons for not marrying. However, there was a gap
in the responses between the sexes. Men’s responses were based on actual or perceived
financial burdens, such as increasing housing prices and supporting their livelihoods, while
women cited as burden of household labor, relationship with their in-laws, patriarchal
gender clashes within the family, career disruption in the labor market. In other words,
becoming a married woman is a life of “only wife” after giving up some of the socioeconomic status and relationships acquired during her single life.

The 28th Foreign Correspondent Report

These perceptions are not fiction. There is an extensive social background. The employment
rate of women in Korea increased from 40.9% in 1985 to 50.2% in 2016. Their level of
education and participation in economic activities also improved significantly. However, thegender gap for household labor is still vast. According to the National Statistical Office's
data on daily home compatibility indicator i in 2016, women are still responsible formajority of household chores in double-income households, spending an average of 3hours and 14 minutes per day on housework, while men only spending 40 minutes.
Considering that women spent an average of 3 hours and 28 minutes and men spent 32
minutes on housework per day in their double-income households in 2004, the situation
has been at a standstill for 10 years.
Staying single: Closeup immediate view
Choosing to remain single is an act that raises questions about traditional marriage andfamily systems that control the hierarchy of sexuality; an increase in the number of people
who are not married is an important move that reveals ’pressure’ hidden under the nameof normality. However, it should not be interpreted as a social problem itself.
The reality of remaining single is not an urgent social issue. Rather, it should be recognized
as a stable presence in the social system. When this perspective is possible, it can effectively
resolve issues revolving around discontinuing careers or the division of household laborfor married women. Denying other types of lifestyles, making the lives of married women
an ideal choice for marriage and childbirth for single women means that Korean society is
still under the shadow of the dictates of a "normal” family.
Freedom to choose is compulsion unless freedom to choose is guaranteed. Freedom exists
when freedom not to marry is guaranteed. But there is a need for it to be guaranteed, andmarriage is no longer a force and requirement for all women. Only when this 'obsession'is resolved will the pattern of women's lives be diversified.

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