The EA Connection—April 2018Your monthly newsletter from ISC
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EA Tools for Recovery
Step 4: Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
Tradition 4: Each group should be autonomous except in matters affecting other groups or EA as a whole.
Just for Today 4: I will take care of my physical health; I will exercise my mind; I will read something spiritual.
Promise 4: No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we see how our experiences can benefit others.
Slogan 4: Live and let live.
Helpful Concept 4: We do not judge; we do not criticize; we do not argue. We do not give advice regarding
personal or family affairs.

News from the ISC Director
Your Board of Trustees continues to focus work in twoareas: EA finances and creating new materials. Many
people don’t understand what a nonprofit organization
actually is – it doesn’t mean that no money is required –we still have rent to pay, lights to keep on, staff that rely
on being paid for their work. What it means to be a nonprofit is simply that our focus isn’t on making money –our focus is on our mission. EA’s mission is “to support
individuals with emotional difficulties in their efforts tolive a more manageable life by using the Emotions Anonymous Program of recovery.” So everything we do focuses on helping EA members. We believe it’s a good program that works, and therefore we’d like as many people
as possible to know about it. We also want to make surethat our materials (books, pamphlets, workbooks, andthe ‘miscellaneous’ like our bookmarks and anniversary
cards etc.) are meeting peoples’ needs. So we continue
to develop new items; the Book & Literature committee
is working on several right now. Being a nonprofit alsomeans we want our community to be involved in ourmission. We continue to ask for help – writing material,
starting groups, serving on committees or the Board –there are plenty of ways to get involved with EA. One
way is to share what you’ve learned. You may have noticed a new section in this publication last month –‘What I Learned in EA: A Member’s Perspective.” I am
grateful to the members who have submitted theirthoughts and I look forward to sharing them here. Pleaseconsider submitting your thoughts to me at:
director@emotionsanonymous.org.
Thank you, Elaine Weber Nelson, Executive Director

What I Learned in EA: A Members share
A: I went to the library and an ABC book in Frenchjumped off the shelf. It occurred to me, much later,that I would like to do an ABC's of EA. Our EA ABC
book could start with the 4 A'S: A is for Awareness,
Acceptance, Action and Attitude.
B: B stands first of all for Boundaries, but there arealso words that start with "B" that describe emotional
states: bored, bashful or that describe behavior, likeboastful and brave....
C: Several things come to mind when considering theletter C- Courage, Change, Character and ways we dealwith emotions (Cope) that start with C: Contemplation,Caring, Compassion
D: The first word that comes to mind is Decisions.. So
many decisions are possible in 12-step recovery. Thedecision to become well emotionally, the decision toadmit that my priorities were skewed, the decision togive this mind-boggling program a chance, and thenthe decision to make a commitment. In Step 3 there isthe decision to turn our will and our lives over to thecare of God as we understand God. What decisions
have shaped your 12-step recovery? ...Victoria
who passed away in February will be missed bymembers of EAnon, our online forum.

In Memory of Victoria
Brave, brilliant, and a bit of a rebel. Rest in peace
my friend...Claire, EAnon
She always encouraged me and was a mentor
and a friend...Kathy, EAnon

Recovery using the Tools of EA
Step 4: Made a searching
and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
This step will intuitively beckon
when, at some level, we understandthat in order not to hit a painful
bottom, we need to know what weare made of. We make the choice
to take our power back by delving
into the ultimate healing power,
knowledge of our dark and lightsides. We ask a lot of questions andwe write down our answers. What is
the nature of our character? Where
do we believe we have erred in ourlives and expectations?
The
searching and fearless moral
inventory is one we take with greatlove, the love of our HP. We findthat we begin to reclaim (or find)our power, as we gain in selfknowledge...Smitty
Step 4 was an eye opener for me. I
prepared this list knowing mydeepest darkest secrets were about
to come out. I took my time. I wasscared to be exposed andvulnerable! I spent years keeping
those secrets so no one would know
how i had hurt others. I thought "mysponsor is going to hate me for sureand probably dump me!" I tried topostpone that! I really like her! Of all
the steps, that was my freedom
from guilt, shame and fear. I wasaccepted bad past and all and she
didn’t dump me! The acceptanceand compassion my sponsor showedme and still shows lead me tofreedom. Instead of telling myself
how awful I was, I can look at myself
as someone who did the best withwhat I had and yes, I did make someterrible choices but in one instance,
my HP was right there even before I

had a program. It was my breaking
point, I had a huge falling out with
my best friend. I thought she would
hate me forever. That was one of
the most remembered times when I
first met my HP. I surrendered intears and despair and asked forforgiveness. Not only was I forgiven,I got the gift of my best friend back.
Step 4 made me appreciate that gift
even more. Step 4 is tough and it
can be painful but the rewards are
truly wonderful....Denise
Although I understand each of theSteps is important, it is Step 4 thatwas the most important Step for me.
This Step made me take a real
objective look at myself. And in away, it turned my life a bit upside
down. I had always believed that
perfectionism was a good thing. But
Step 4
showed me that in mycase it was not good at all.
Perfectionism has kept me in a stateof unhappiness. I never felt I did
anything quite good enough. I
feared doing new things, because I
was so uncertain that I could not dothem perfectly...Carol

Helpful Concept 4: We donot judge; we do not
criticize; we do not argue.
We do not give advice
regardingpersonalorfamily affairs.
I’ve come to appreciate the powerof avoiding argument in EA, focusing
on where we agree. In an “advicefree zone” we honor one another’s
good judgment. Refraining fromcriticism means no one need feel
defensive when sharing, or fear
making mistakes. It takes humility tolearn a new way of life. I recover bylistening closely, taking what’s

helpful andAnonymousleaving

therest...

Just for Today 4: I will take careof my physical health; I will
exercise my mind; I will readsomething spiritual.
I like this Just for Today, it reminds
that there are many facets to me thatneed TLC.
First my physical health, before coming
into recovery, this part of me got lost. I
stopped taking care of me, I stopped
doing the things that had always been
meaningful, like doing my nails (as silly
as that might sound). I stopped
exercising (just too much work). I was
always tired, I needed to rest; this may
have had something to do with mydepression but I didn’t know that. I
was in therapy at the time. Mytherapist sent me to a psychiatrist, shethought I was suicidal. I don’t know if I
was or not, the act of suicide had
never crossed my mind, but I did knowthat I didn’t think each day was worth
living. The psychiatrist put me on
medication and watched me closely forseveral weeks.
Then I needed to exercise my mind, I
started to do this when I found EA. So
much to learn, so much to understand.
Along with exercising my mind, I foundmy spirituality. I had drifted away fromthis also. I remember the day that I
walked out the back door, to warmthand sunshine. I felt wonderful, thethought that entered my mind was“this is how it feels to be happy,” and I
needed to thank the God of myUnderstanding for being there forme ..Kathy

Discovering the tools of EA
Promise 4:
No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we see how our experiences can benefit others.
Promise 4 : "No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we see how our experience can benefit others". So I will
share about my progress in the hopes it can benefit someone who is wondering about the EA program. I found EA
when I was around 22 years old. My brother was only 18 and killed in a gang fight when he was at the wrong place atthe wrong time. I was only age 20 at that time and my whole family turned to drinking and drugs. I was just getting
clean and sober and I found that I didn't want to be "crazy" during my sobriety. So I was so grateful to find EA to help
me live with more sanity, than insanity. I worked the steps with my sponsor and it really helped me.
I got away from the program and wound up in an alcoholic/abusive marriage. So I left that when the kids were young.
Luckily I returned to EA and was happy to find this program again. It gave me hope that I could still be okay emotionallyby following this program, even though it was stressful as a single parent mom. I made it through okay with the help ofothers in this program and other 12 step groups I attend. I did the EA steps again with another sponsor and discovered
lots of things to help me. The Just for today's, the slogans, re-reading the steps when stressed, reading stories in the EA
book, reading the Loop shares and going to meetings in my town and online. Our EA meeting in our town lasted a fewyears, but wound up closing due to lack of attendance. So I am grateful that I still started an online EA meeting ateachat.webs.com and am grateful I can attend those meetings weekly with my other 12 step groups I attend.
The main thing that I found in EA was a loving Higher Power who I am willing to turn to daily to help me with lots ofthings in my life, especially my defects of character which have lessened since I have been in the program. I am sograteful for my Higher Power belief. I am strengthened and comforted when I need it and my Higher Power is only aprayer away. Even if all I say to the Higher Power is "Help" in the morning and "Thank you" at night, I am at least trying
to connect daily with that Power greater than me and I know I am being helped with my life.
I didn't even mention that when I was 18, 19 and 20, I wound up in mental wards due to me just being very unwellemotionally. I just couldn't handle my emotions or my life. I would never ask for help from anyone. I stuffed all my feelings down, I overworked myself and I was a real wreck. I had been turning to alcohol, drugs and abusive people and codependency and I just was a very unhappy person. Luckily I got help for myself, because I was finally tired of being sickand tired and haven't wound up in those places since. I have had to be honest with others and really know I do nothave to do life all alone. There are others in the program who I can talk with and share recovery with. I seek outside
help from a Psychologist, too, as part of my emotional well-being.
My life is not all gold and diamonds. In fact, I am very low income, but I have riches of love, peace and serenity when I
daily connect with my Higher Power and others on this 12 step journey. For that I am very grateful! I will keep comingback as I know with this program that I have more of a chance at a good life, than without it. Oh and any credit for me
being well emotionally always goes to that Power greater than me and my emotional illness! ...Connie

One Day at a Time, One Step at a TimeI am sure you have read about Florida's cold snap, this past January, resulting in the iguanas freezing in the trees anddropping off them, then warming up in the sun and climbing back up into the tree. A funny image and it struck me thatI have frozen some monsters from my past. It was my favorite way to deal with pain -- deny it, freeze it out, stuff it,ignore it. And yup I had frozen iguanas raining on my head.

A good friend says that we always bury our emotions alive. Well when the warmth of theprogram and the fellowship started to thaw me out BOOM I had all these "iguanas" todeal with and it was scary! I thank my friends in the program for sticking it out with meand reminding me "one day at a time" and "one step at a time" over time it became manageable and I am becoming more and more free from any lurking iguanas!...Wren2017 - 2018 EA Board of Trustees
Please feel free to contact members of the Board with questions or concerns
Gus S, AZ 602-319-3890 schloesser us@gmail.com President (from Region 2)
Scott J, MN 507-276-0323 sdjakel@gmail.com Vice President/Treas... (from Region 1/GST)John W, MN 612-760-0313 johnwerner52@gmail.com Secretary (from Region 1)
Valerie C, NY 585-371-4347 valcea@gmx.com (from Region 5/GST)The 12 Principles, Step 4: Courage

REGIONS OF EMOTIONS ANONYMOUS

Step 4: Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

Region 1: Northwest

In the early 1950’s Twelve Step groups began informally sharing what has
become known as the Principles of the 12 Steps. Each step has a corresponding principle that one can keep in mind when working the steps.
Below members share how COURAGE factors into Step 4 for them.

CAN: AB, BC, MB, ON, SK
USA: AK, ID, MN, MT, ND, OR, SD, WA, WI, WY
Region 2: Southwest
USA: AZ, CA, CO, HI, NM, NV, OK, TX, UT
Region 3: Central

COURAGE (noun) – the ability to face difficulty without fear
Benjamin Franklin is credited for having said: “How few there are who havecourage enough to own their faults, or resolution enough to mend them”
Step 4 is, in reality, about making a commitment to ourselves to grow up.
Without courage to face ourselves, we cannot make much progress, but let’s
be clear, it is not about beating ourselves up. Rather this Step is the key that
opens the possibility for freedom from self-defeating ideas, powerfully enabling us to see what’s not working and then replacing it with something
better. That takes Courage!...Gus S
Excerpts from It Works if You Work it, pages 38-39
This step, combined with Steps Five, Six, and Seven, awakens our need foracceptance, awareness, and action. We start to see that this program might
be a little more than we can handle on our own, and we begin to look aroundfor a 12th step person, counselor, or sponsor to help us out. We’re either
worried and afraid that this step will expose our souls, or we’re looking forward to dumping the mental baggage that’s been piling up for all theseyears. Either way, Courage will be necessary to continue down this path. If
we haven’t yet, we’ll have to find where our courage lies and how we can tap
into it. Perhaps we can’t recall facing any change fearlessly, or maybe we.ve
been so fearless as to be reckless in our past pursuits. Certainly the conceptof a moral inventory is daunting for anyone. But there it is, the fourth step,
can’t get to the fifth without it.

EA members say that the most important things to keep in mind while doing
your inventory include making sure you’ve done a strong first, second andthird step; be honest and thorough; don’t forget to balance each negative
item with a positive item about yourself, and break down the time periods inyour life or use one of the EA fourth step guides.

USA: IA, IL, IN, KS, MI, MO, NE
Region 4: Southeast
USA:Puerto RicoRegion 5: Northeast
CAN: NB, NF, NS, NT, PE,YT
USA: CT, MA, ME, NH, NJ, NY, OH, PA, RI, VT
Region 6: French-speaking Canada

Emotions Anonymous™
Hours Mon—Thurs: 10 to 3:30
Phone 651-647-9712
Fax 651-647-1593
PO Box 4245
St Paul, MN 55104
www.EmotionsAnonymous.org

director@emotionsanonymous.org
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