Research Paper SeriesNo. 16

Disrupting the Japanese marriage system by positive emotion embedded ininstitutionalised space: Autoethnography at commercialised matchmaking parties inJapan
Misanori Takahashi †January, 2020

†Graduate School of management, Tokyo Metropolitan University

Disrupting the Japanese marriage system by positive emotion embedded in institutionalised
space: Autoethnography at commercialised matchmaking parties in Japan

Abstract
This study focusses on emotions and practices in institutionalized space. In previous study
positive emotions guiding institutional work that enable institutions to be built, extended andmaintained. Therefore, this study focuses on autoethnography in order to grasp emotions in
an institutionalised space and analyse the institutional work guided by those emotions incommercialized matchmaking parties in Japan. Through a detailed description of theemotions I experienced myself, this study reveals disrupting marriage system in Japan bypractices from positive emotions in institutionalized space.

Key word
institutionalized space, emotion, institutional work, autoethnography, commercialized
matchmaking party

11. Introduction
Emotions in institutions have attracted attention as a concept that affects institutionalwork（Friedland, 2018）. In particular, positive emotions are discussed as guiding practices
that enable institutions to be built, extended, and maintained（Creed et al, 2010; Gill andBurrow, 2018; Lawrence and Dover, 2015）. One of the challenges of previous research has
been finding a way to analyse these emotions.
In this study, I use autoethnography to approach institutional work guided byinstitutionalised emotions. Based on autoethnography, in which researchers describe theirexperiences in an institutionalised space in a self-reflective manner, this study clarifies that
the Japanese marriage system is in danger of disruption based on positive emotions.

2. Emotion in institutionalised spaceFriedland (2018) noted that “many opinions are hardly basic — greed, loyalty,
patriotism, acquisitiveness, possessiveness, bravery, reversibility, purity, objectivity,
romantic-love — but rather part of institutional formations involved complex material,coherent, practical, evaluated and affective elements” (p. 520). Embedded in institutions,people gain identity and experience conflicts of interest as joy, reassurance, anger, andanxiety (Creed et al, 2010). In other words, joy and security are the engines for expanding ormaintaining institutions, while anger and anxiety are the ignition points that lead to thechange or disruption of the institution (Gill and Burrow, 2018; Lawrence and Dover, 2015).
Therefore, in this study I focus on the relationship between materiality and space inthe generation of emotions in institutions. Institutions are social realities as well as material
beings that influence people’s practices (Levy and Scully, 2007). For example, Based on amatrix or a set of references, people can practice consensus building, negotiation, critique,legitimating, conflict and struggle, such as assessment criteria and rules rooted in legal2systems, cultural and historical backgrounds, and measurement instruments provided byexperts, engineers, and scientists (Lamont, 2012).
In other words, by embedding people in an institutionalised space constructed ofabstract and concrete evaluation criteria and measurement instruments, people will be able toexperience institutionalised emotions and create, expand, maintain, and sometimes evenchange or disrupt an institution through institutionalized emotions (Creed et al , 2019).
People's emotions in the institutionalised space and institutional work are analysed asfollows. First, people experience feelings by adapting themselves to their abilities and values
in an institutionalised space built up with metrics and measuring instruments. Second, people
are induced by their emotions to create, maintain, and sometimes cause disruption in aninstitutionalised space as institutional work.

3. Methodology: Autoethnography in institutionalised space
This study focuses on autoethnography in order to grasp emotions in aninstitutionalised space and analyse the institutional work guided by those emotions.
Autoethnography finds methodological breakthroughs in the emotions experienced byresearchers themselves. It aims to provide an understanding of social phenomenon as mutual
action of the self - other, in which the researcher themselves is considered a party who lives
in the world (Ellis and Bochner, 2000). In particular, autoethnography has been employed in
the production of papers based on grounded experiences and knowledge, such as feminismand sexuality (O’Shea, 2019).
However, the implications of this methodology must be taken with caution because
they are based only on grounded experience and knowledge. The methodological implicationof autoethnography is that the researcher doubts the implicit recognition premise from thefeelings he personally experienced and reconsiders the theory and the concept from a3different viewpoint. Therefore, in this study, I clarify institutional work based on various
emotions experienced by researchers themselves in an institutionalised space.

4. Case: New practice of activity for marriage in Japan
4.1 Background of field workJapan's population has been declining since 2019; in 2011, its aging rate was 28%.
The cause of this population declines and super-aging population is said to be the rise in thelifetime unmarried rate among Japanese peoplei. In 1995, when an increase in the lifetime
unmarried rate was confirmed, 9% of men and 5.1% of women were unmarried. In June
2019, according to the Cabinet Office, the rate had grown to 23.4% for men and 14.1% forwomen, increasing 2.5 to 3 times in 14 years.
The increase in the lifetime unmarried rate in Japan has been analysed from socialand economic perspectives (Yamada, 2017). Until the 1970s, the dominant ideology in Japanwas matchmaking marriages, which were based on a mixture of hierarchy and economy, inwhich parents or boss at work place found and decided on marriage partners that met certainclass and income conditions. However, post-World War II democratic education criticised
matchmaking marriage as a repressive system; with the influx of free love via Hollywood
movies since the 1980s, romantic marriage based on love between partners became
mainstream. By the early 1990s, romantic marriages accounted for 70% of marriages inJapan. However, since marriage was liberated on the basis of individual feelings, the numberof people who chose not to marry on their own likewise increased. It was originally thoughtthat this was due to the prolonged economic recession and the instability of employment
since the 1990s. However, even in 2019, when the economy recovered, the lifetime
unmarried rate continued to rise. It was pointed out that the paradox “not marry until one
meets the best partner” was born from the romantic marriage ideology.

4Commercialised matchmaking parties emerged as a social business that sought tosolve the serious social problem of the growing number of unmarried people in the 2000s.
Commercialised matchmaking parties are now held more than 100 times a day in Tokyo. At
present, 40% of all marriages in Japan are said to have used a commercialised matchmaking
party. Nevertheless, in 2019, the lifetime unmarried rate hit a record high. In other words, theJapanese marriage system is on the verge of disruption.

4.2 Institutionalised space of a commercialised matchmaking party in JapanThe four evaluation indices used at commercialised matchmaking parties are age,annual income, occupation, and hobbies. Age is classified either by an age limit (people
within five years of each other’s age) or age difference (of five years or more, with men
being older; parties for older women are rarely organised). Men’s annual income is classified
into the following categories by age: those in their 20s with an annual income of 6 million
yen or more; those in their 30s and 40s with an annual income of 8 million yen or more; andthose of any age with an annual income of 10 million yen or more. Income is required formen to participate; women seldom need to declare their incomeii. Occupations are classified
into high-income professions such as lawyer, doctor, and enterprise manager, or stable
occupations such as government employee, teacher, employees of well-known companies
and others. Again, it is mainly men who are asked about their occupation as a condition toparticipate. Finally, both men and women are asked about hobbiesiii, as having a common
hobby is thought to be a prerequisite for romantic love.
Using these four indices, the promotion company, in conjunction with a weddinghall management company, a wedding magazine, and an IT company that provides amatchmaking app, holds commercialised matchmaking parties in various settings. People
imagine their ideal marriage partner and select one of the parties offered by the sponsorcompany.
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4.3 Queue up and hope for the best!
I attended a total of 12 open matchmaking parties during the six months from June toDecember 2018. When I decided to participate in a commercialised matchmaking party, I
was 44 years old. My motivation to marry was to have a child, so I wanted to meet a younger
woman who was able to have children. In addition, since I enjoy fly fishing andbodybuilding, I thought it would be ideal if my partner enjoyed both hobbies.
However, while looking at the list of commercialised matchmaking parties, I realisedthat it would be difficult to meet women significantly younger than me. Commercialised
matchmaking parties were mainly planned for men and women in their 20s, men in their 30sand women in their 20s within five years of each other’s age, and women in their 30s andmen in their 40s five years of each other’s age. On the other hand, a small number ofcommercialised matchmaking parties were held to allow for a larger age difference between
older men and young women. These were parties for women who wanted to meet men withhigh incomes and stable occupations. Based on the evaluation criteria provided by the hostcompany, I was considered high-income, so I attended one such party.
At a matchmaking party, after the reception at the venue, the participants start byfilling out a self-introduction card (Figure 1).

Figure 1 self-introduction cardiv
self-introduction card                       

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As soon as participants finish introducing themselves to each other, organisers
gather information about the people who made a good impression on other participants. This
information is fed back to each participant, enabling them to know which person made afavourable impression for participants. At the end of the party, the organisers collectinformation about the people participants want to associate with. Contact information will beexchanged only if hope of participants matches each other.
At the first party I attended, the matching success rate was about 10%. However, nomatter how much I livened up the conversation at the second party I attended, I was nevermatched. I found out the reason when I attended my third party. Most of the men
participating were in their 40s and were employed in occupations such as lawyer, doctor, andCEO. Among them, a young and handsome man had a long queue of women waiting to meethim. In contrast, women avoided conversation with other men by excusing themselves to get
drinks and food or checking their cell phones. I wondered why the women lined up only infront of the handsome guy. When I asked one of the women why, her reason was very clear.
‘I’ll go talk to the youngest and most handsome person. There’s no need to talk to anyone but
the most handsome. Even if we don’t match up today, there will be another party like this.’
At a commercialised matchmaking party arranged by annual income and occupation,a man without the benefit of youth and good looks is invisible through being average. Ofcourse, at a party with participants of the same income and occupation, women will target themen of the most appealing age and appearance and ignore the others. The women understandthat there are many competitors, but there will always be another commercialised
matchmaking party. As long as they continue to attend parties, they will eventually get thekind of partner they seek.

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4.4 I don’t like it!：Pursuit of more micro-matching
After experiencing a high-income matchmaking party, I understood that a party
based on income and occupation was clearly not advantageous to me. Even a university
teacher, which is generally a stable occupation, cannot stand out unless he is also asupermodel. In order to make a successful match, my occupation and annual income would
have to be superior and make a potential partner think, “I can't meet him at the next party.”
For that reason, the next matchmaking party I chose included women who like sports andoutdoor activities. Few women are fishing and bodybuilding enthusiasts, and when people
who share a rare hobby meet, it is a precious encounter. I would find my fly-fishing
bodybuilder and have an advantage over my rivals, given my occupation and annual income.
I soon realised I had the wrong idea. I wrote about bodybuilding as a hobby on myself-introduction card, but a woman who loved tennis rejected me as soon as she saw it.
‘Bodybuilding—you, too! I don't know why men like to grow their muscles so much. I feelsick when I see big muscles! Why do you try to make unnatural muscles? I don't understand.’
Later, I met a woman interested in fishing. However, I love fly-fishing, and she loved lurefishing. We could not understand each other’s tastes. At a matchmaking party categorised byhobbies, participants regard the micro-matching of hobbies as more important than anythingelse.

4.5 Self-Revaluation and positive divorce
I realised that it was very difficult to find a match by participating in a party mainly
based on hobbies. As a result, I returned to parties for high-income men, expecting to beburied yet again. I tried a matchmaking party in which women were looking for older men,
specifically men more than 10 years older than themselves. I thought that there, at least,
women would not concentrate on the youngest man in the room and that I would have achance. As I hoped, I was able to match with a 32-year-old secretary.
8The commercialised matchmaking party promotion company requests men to makean effort towards love and marriage after the party. In particular, the man is encouraged tobuy the woman’s favourite clothing and select good choices of shops and restaurants to visit
on dates. My sporting hobbies and hers, art appreciation, were remarkably different.
Therefore, I had to make an effort to respect her wishes first and listen to her opinion. We
went to art museums, fancy cafes, or restaurants about two or three times a month. Half ayear later, I asked for her hand in marriage and was confused by her answer.

This is hard to say, but I'm not going to marry you. In the past half year, I was happy
and had a good time because you took care of me and took me many places. Thanks
to you, I feel confident in having someone who cares about me. But then I thought I
could try to marry a younger person with a higher income with whom I could have abetter relationship. Because you look like a father. I just thought I didn't have to go
out with you anymore.

Given that response, I could do nothing but break up with her, as she wanted. Shewas not unhappy or uncomfortable with me. Rather, having gained great satisfaction andconfidence, she held out for the possibility of a better marriage.

5. Discussion
In this study, I have used autoethnography to describe institutionalised emotions andinstitutional work in an institutionalised space. The primary theoretical contribution of thisstudy is that positive emotions in institutionalised spaces can lead to practices that disrupt
institutions and social systems.
My experience with sadness and surprise has taught me that people positively avoid
making matches at Japanese commercialised matchmaking parties. They seek more9handsome men, more beautiful women, younger people, richer prospects, and those whoshare identical hobbies, and they expect to meet their perfect romantic partner. These positive
emotion-driven practices have led to an increase in the rate of unmarried couples in Japan andhave gradually disrupted the marriage system.
As a way to make lemonade from lemons, I have used this experience to focus on
the potential of autoethnography as a methodology to capture institutionalized emotions.
Autoethnography is considered to be an effective method to capture the most microinstitutional work in an institutionalized space. It is impossible for anyone but the person
concerned to know institutionalized emotions. Therefore, I used autoethnography to describe
the disruption of the Japanese marriage system based on my own emotions.

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For comparison, the aging rate is 18.9% in France and 18.1% in the United Kingdom.
ii
For men in their early twenties only, parties are held without the need to declare income.
iii
Outdoor activities, sports, and traveling parties are frequently organised.
iv
This card is used at all parties.

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