Center for the Study of Traumatic Stress
CSTS | Department of Psychiatry | Uniformed Services University | 4301 Jones Bridge Road, Bethesda, MD 20814-4799 | www.CSTSonline.org

Funerals and Memorials:
A Part of Recovery
A memorial service is an important■ Saying goodbye may be more
Funerals and memorials provide anstep in the chain of events that occurs
difficult for many in this setting.
after a death. For many, it may beThe presence of pictures andopportunity to show appreciationdifficult because it brings reminders ofremembrances may be particularly
for the person, to grieve together,
the loss and fears of the future. Funerals
important.
and memorials provide an opportunity
and to make a new beginning.
■ Families may request an object
to show appreciation for the person,from the location where the person
to grieve together, and to make a newdied as a remembrance.
beginning. At funerals and memorials,■ Leaders should actively support
attendees will encounter families as well as the religious andfamily, friends, and coworkers of the deceased.
patriotic symbols, music, ritual, and ceremony, the personal■ Communities often extend beyond local geography andeffects and the history of the deceased, and will hear aboutencompass vast numbers of people of all faiths, races,
the deceased’s place in the family, community, organization,ages, and personal histories
and nation.
■ It is important for leaders to remember that they
The following are important elements in most funerals andprovide support to a diverse audience.
memorials.
■ This support network often provides hope that people
are remembered and that they left a legacy of family,■ Leaders should not be afraid to show their humanityfriends, and associates.
through some displays of emotion and providing
comfort to others. It is helpful to not worry about■ The many differences within and between faiths on
having the right words as much as just being yourself.
how funerals and memorials are conducted need to be■ Funerals and memorials bring powerful reminders ofrecognized and respected.
the humanity of the deceased. Sadness, tearfulness, and■ If the attendee is not familiar with the type of service
anxiety are common feelings.
being conducted or different ways of expressing grief, it■ Pictures and remembrances from the person’s life andis wise to inquire beforehand what to expect.
favorite objects may be displayed. They are powerful■ It is helpful to ask the person who conducts thesymbols.
ceremony to give an explanation of the ceremony for■ Pictures and personal possessions may be passed on andothers who are not familiar with that faith or its rituals.
an individual’s history recounted by survivors.
■ Leaders who are asked to officiate or speak at such
■ Family, friends, or co-workers may provide details of theevents are likely to fear faltering and failing to say theperson’s history, the last time they were together, or theirright words. Often, there are no right words; the humanfavorite memory.
presence speaks for itself. Sometimes presence is all wehave to offer, but presence is powerful.
■ When death was violent, remains are seldom viewable.

Center for the Study of Traumatic Stress
Department of Psychiatry
Uniformed Services University
4301 Jones Bridge Road, Bethesda, MD 20814-4799
www.CSTSonline.org