THE EA CONNECTION: MARCH 2020
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EA TOOLS FOR RECOVERY

Step 3: Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
Tradition 3: The only requirement for EA membership is a desire to become well emotionally.
Slogan 3: One day at a time.
Promise 3: We comprehend the word serenity, and we know peace of mind.
Just for Today 3: I will try to adjust myself to what is and not force everything to adjust to my own
desires. I will accept my family, my friends, my business, my circumstances as they come.
Concept 3: We respect anonymity—no questions asked. We aim for an atmosphere of love andacceptance. We do not care who you are or what you have done. You are welcome.

FROM YOUR EA BOARD OF TRUSTEES
Protecting the Program
My EA 12-step program is a part of me that I protect, much like I protect my social security number or date of birth. I
can’t let my problems or other priorities get in the way of my daily reading and reflection, or my weekly meetings, orcounting my blessings and saying the Serenity Prayer morning and evening.
It’s also something that I have to continually nurture. I’ve found that the most critical times to nurture the program
within me is when I am going through stress or crisis. It is then that I’m tempted to throw up my hands, skip my good
habits and revert to my old ways of coping. Although these old coping skills may have served me in the distant past, I
find they no longer contribute to my serenity or emotional health.
A friend recently shared a method she’d heard about for battling the chronic “stinking thinking” that begins to creep inwhen I’m not working and protecting my program. She told me to ask myself four questions of my negative thoughts:
Are they true? Do I know them to be factually true or do they just feel true? How do I feel when I have thesethoughts? And how would I feel if I didn’t have these thoughts?
These questions remind me that while I’m powerless over the occurrence of my thoughts and emotions, I’m not powerless over the decision about what to do with them. Sometimes it’s best to acknowledge and let go of my emotions.
At other times, I might have to take action. This is when the Serenity Prayer becomes my saving grace. I need to accept
what I can’t change, have the courage to act when necessary and – most importantly – gain the wisdom to decide between the two. When I’m protecting my program, I can often act with wisdom. When I’m not, I run the risk of an unwise choice...Colleen C, Trustee
director@emotionsanonymous.org
info@emotionsanonymous.org
www.EmotionsAnonymous.org
loop@emotionsanonymous.org
connection@emotionsanonymous.org
Box 4245 St Paul, MN 55104-0245
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Phone 651-647-9712
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Thank you for being part of the Emotions Anonymous International (“EAI”) fellowship and submitting your suggestions,writings, concepts, images, testimonials, and other materials to share with others. Please know that by submitting
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RECOVERY USING THE TOOLS OF EAStep 3: Made a decision toturn our will and our lives
over to the care of God as
we understood Him.
Honesty is critical for recovery.
Getting in touch with my emotions
was something that would not
happen until I made the 3rd Stepdecision. Oh, I was aware of certain
emotions, and they were mostly
negative. Passive aggressive tendencies helped me perform "gooddeeds" with hidden resentment.
I am no actress. You will not find an
Emmy award or an Oscar award forme. So, no matter how hard I tried
to cover up my real emotions, it wasan epic fail. My words werehallowed, with little to no emotions
to back them up. I was a fake.
Everyone else knew it long before I
would find recovery and humbly
admit the horrible shame I felt.
It takes a connection with a God of
my understanding to move throughrecovery. There was no way on thisearth I would ever peel that layeraway to reveal the ugliest, nastiest
things that kept me chained to hellon earth. No way! I held onto to
those deepest darkest secrets
because I was certain no one would
ever be able to love someone likeme. Someone with such shame...
I came to the rooms of recovery
where, unbeknownst to me, there
were a lot of people who had stories
much worse than mine. What arelief! I am not the only one. The
strength of the fellowship, thenetwork of friends and family withinrecovery helped me form a solid
foundation to take each step. It was
not easy, but it was easier thanstaying where I was at. Each day I
awake with renewed zest and vigor
for life. Thanks to God and recovery,
I have a life worth living. Whatever

barriers kept me from being honest,
God was able to remove and more
importantly, heal those gaping
wounds...Lynn
I took Step 3 gladly. It was NOT an
intellectual decision. My life works
so much better having a sourcemuch bigger than I am to help guideme on my life journey. I am grateful
to EA for providing a plan that has
worked for me...CarolI've listened at a lot of different
meetings, and done a lot of reading,
about "letting go." I have done mybest to "make a decision" to put
myself into my higher power'shands, many times. But the mostprofound experience I ever had as
far as letting go is concerned, waswith dealing with my alcoholic son. I
had been told to kick him out, which
is something I didn't take lightly.
The time came when I was reallyable to see that I was powerlessover him and his drinking. I was indespair, and I hit an emotionalbottom. At that point I knew that
only a higher power could help him,and I also saw that only a higher
power could help me. I loved myson more than anybody or anything
on this earth, and I was devastatedabout his behavior, and felt like atrue failure as a parent and a humanbeing. Once I hit a bottom myself, I
was able to see that I was allowing
his behavior and I needed to set
some limits. I felt a release of sorts
from the terrible pain, and a little bitof peace started to creep in.
It's incredibly difficult for me to keep
my claws out of this young man! I
do everything I can to let him live hisown life. My doing that seems tohave contributed to his finallydeciding to sober up and live a goodlife for himself, and I spend most of
my days in gratitude about that. I
know it's one day at a time, and it's

humbling to see that my best efforts
did no good whatsoever…Gail
For years I had mostly anxiety, butfor the past several months I've had
mostly peace. I've struggled withdepression, and there's been a lot ofimprovement there. I've been taking
anti-depressant medications. I've
struggled with anger and there's
been a lot of improvement there.
I've been doing the 12 Steps ofEmotions Anonymous. I’m now
working Step 3. For me, I said out
loud something like "Higher Power, I
commit my will and my life to yourcare."…KevinSlogan 3: One day at a time
I am grateful to this program
because it has made me realize how
precious NOW is and how much Iused to live in the past and future. Istill struggle with this andsometimes wonder - what am I to"do" with my life...am I achieving"enough"? When WILL I achieve"enough"? Then I start thinking
about the future and I like to call mythoughts"falsedreams"...notbecause I don't achieve what I want
to do but because when I include
other people in my "future dreams"- they are indeed "false" dreams
because it causes me to encroach on
their paths...and to not stay on
mine. I can only plan my life, andeven then - sometimes it works,
sometimes it does not. It has taken
so much strength for me to accept
that planning for other people
creates false hopes and dreams andis actually quite selfish on my part just as I do not like it when people
plan my life, others do not like it
when I try to plan theirs...Kelly

DISCOVERING THE TOOLS OF EA: ANXIETYREFLECTION FOR TODAY
There were many times before the program when I did not know what to do next, so I tried to do everything at once. I
ended up filled with anxiety and accomplished nothing except to make an already upsetting situation worse. Am I looking at priorities today, sorting them out, handling only the things I can, and leaving the rest to God?

MEDITATION FOR TODAY
I ask for Your help to do all I can reasonably do today. Help me to stop, relax, wait, have patience, and be aware thatduring times of trouble You will continue to care for me, as You did when things were going well.

TODAY I WILL REMEMBER
I will do the best I can, no matter what comes, and leave the rest to God.

I Had Dreadful Anxiety Attacks
I used to have dreadful anxiety attacks, and now I feel guilty because I have children who have them. Both my children
get them. I know it comes from feeling out of control and NOT having FAITH. They get them when they are angry like I
did and feel things are not just. I am grateful to my youngest child's counselor because she brought me in this week towork with them. She had us read an article together and review a worksheet my daughter did and discuss when she has
gotten the attacks. I added some information and we had such an open honest discussion. It was difficult for my daughter and she joked around at times but I was so proud of her. I learned a lot about her, and me and our little family andmore about strategies for panic attacks. I looked at the whole experience in retrospect so positively because if it was
not for EA, I would never be so trusting and allow an outside professional to speak with my children and trust themand have the faith that things really do get better. Even though my daughters' lives have had challenges since thedivorce I know that they see that having faith is what has gotten us through and I see how EA has impacted our wholehousehold's life. We all have become more trusting and patient and have much more faith and hope. My panic attacks
have for the most part gone away. I was angry that they came back this year but my doctor pointed out that it was
because I was not "accepting" that my ex-husband and his “nonsense" (her word) will always be in my life. That many
people do this after divorce, that they think it will be over, and that as soon as I "accept" that he will ALWAYS be aroundand he will not change, I will feel MUCH BETTER. I have felt much better since I thought a lot about that and haveworked on accepted this and asking God to help me with this. Kelly

Back Sliding
I'm realizing that my thinking has gone negative. The social anxiety thoughts are
dominating my thinking. 'm praying and giving it to HP. I'm reaching out to mysponsor, recovery friends, and doing CBT to help. KW

Gratitude

I have written about my extreme anxiety, and some of you have responded with personal emails encouraging me, forwhich I am very grateful. Today's RFT is "We often take on the problems of the world. We let our feelings of despair
overpower us." It goes on about so much despair in the world situations and allowing people and situations to instill in
us fear, anger, defeat, and hopelessness. "I can choose who and what I listen to."Today I choose to listen to you, my dear friends, who share from your heart honest, true feelings of where you are at inyour daily life, the hurts and pain as well as the encouragement and hope you share. Today I choose to listen to myinner voice telling me that this anxiety does not define me. I proved to myself over the weekend that I can get out anddo things in spite of those feelings and I didn't die.
Today I choose to be ever so grateful for all of you, for my wonderful doctor, for my job, for my car that keeps on running, for my mother who is only a phone call away, for my nephew who is now honorably discharged from the Marinesand out of danger, for the gentle breeze today, and especially grateful to my HP who never fails me even if I feel I failHim.
My days are minute by minute sometimes, but I am grateful to be here and alive and doing what I need to do to keepon going. Sometimes I slide backwards but for today I am grateful for those minute by minute challenges. Pat2019 - 2020 EA Board of Trustees
Please feel free to contact members of the Board with questions or concerns.
Minutes of the Board of Trustees Meeting can be viewed here.

Scott J, MN 507-276-0323 sdjakel@gmail.com President
John W, MN 612-760-0313 johnwerner52@gmail.com Vice President
Colleen C, MN 651-245-5461 coyne2003@hotmail.com Secretary
Derita P, OH 216-624-3559 deritapippen@gmail.com Treasurer
Paul N, NJ 201-264-1807 paul@nobleequity.com Trustee
Steve B, CA 909-438-4938 stevebell_28@yahoo.com Trustee

The Twelve Promises—EA Book pages 70-71

These Promises may seem idealistic, exaggerated, or extravagant at first, but they really are possible. As
we thoroughly and honestly work the program through Step 9, we start to notice new attitudes andfeelings in ourselves. Some of these promises may be realized quickly, others slowly, but they all develop
naturally as a result of honestly working the EA Program.
Promise 3: We comprehend the word serenity, and we know peace of mind.
I never felt serenity and I couldn't grasp what the word meant. I would hear people talk about peace and having peaceof mind, but that too was a foreign concept to me. The Fellowship of Emotions Anonymous showed me what the twowords were and exhibited them in their actions. People with peace of mind don't find a need to argue, hold grudges,or judge other people. They are ok with themselves and therefore can accept other people. I know that I have peaceand serenity when things that used to upset me don't even faze me. To keep this state I have to work the steps (well,live the steps) and rely on my Higher Power. Derita P, Trustee
When I was a child, my father used to tell me 'money can buy you a lot of things in this world, but it can't buy peace ofmind'. I didn't appreciate what he said when I was a child but came to appreciate it the older I got and the greaternumber of challenging situations I faced. Being in a state of regular panic, anxiety, guilt, shame and other negative
emotions can come to feel normal, but I’ve learned that this wasn’t living, certainly not the way God wanted me to.
Through the program, I now know serenity and peace of mind. Paul N.
For many of us in the program, having peace in our mind seems to be out of the question – a complete fantasy. So
many of us struggle with anxiety. We have not known – experienced for extended periods of time – moments of peacein our mind. Nonetheless, our program teaches us to be hopeful and active – working our program. We strive towards
having more peaceful moments as we celebrate the presence of a power greater than ourselves actively calming us
down and helping us to relax. We meditate. We center ourselves, serenely, because we know that that is the intentionof being human. Being at peace. Scott J., Trustee
Hospitalized for depression, I desperately committed to Step 11's daily practice of prayer and meditation as anintentional and essential First Things First. I was committed, not as a conscious contact with my Higher Power in thoseearly days, but purely to get my mind to stop screaming at me - for the peace of mind. It took daily perseverance forme to slowly realize there was a compassionate presence during my daily Step 11. Peace of mind, serenity,transformed into a healing sense of presence. Sharon H, Member

Reflection for Today—Today Book, November 8
When things which usually upset me don’t get to me, I know I have a hold on serenity. I just need to learn how to stayserene longer, more often, and through worse situations. Usually it helps to say to myself, “How important is it?” Italso helps to be realistic about the situation, what is fair to expect, and what I can change. I also need to consider thatI am the one who is hurt when I get upset. Sometimes it seems to help when I get upset, but only at my expense.