THE EAI CONNECTION: APRIL 2020
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EA TOOLS FOR RECOVERY
Step 4: Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
Tradition 4: Each group should be autonomous except in matters affecting other groups or EA as a whole.
Slogan 4: Live and let live.
Promise 4: No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we see how our experiences can benefit others.
Just for Today 4: I will take care of my physical health; I will exercise my mind; I will read something spiritual.
Helpful Concept 4: We do not judge; we do not criticize; we do not argue. We do not give advice regarding personalor family affairs.

FROM YOUR EAI BOARD OF TRUSTEES
The title of this article is Why Trustees Serve. Well, I don't know why other trustees serve, I can just speak about me. Iserve because I love Emotions Anonymous, it saved my life, and literally; I was on my way out the door to drive mybrand new car off a bridge somewhere and I had a bridge in mind. I focused on brand new car, the car was more important than my life. Thank God my mother interceded and dragged me to my first EA meeting. I don't remember thatmeeting, all I know is that I must have heard some kind of hope because I kept coming back and I'm here today to tell
the story. My nephew was recently diagnosed with a mental illness and he's just like me. He doesn't want to take theprescribed medication or recognize that he is different from his peers. I want EA to be here for him when he decides,like me, that he has to do something different. His way is not working. I am so glad that EA was there for me. I had
tried everything else, psychiatrists, therapists, excess food, other people, etc. Emotions Anonymous is the solution tomy life problem; you see, I just didn't know how to cope with life or the people in it. Serving is a spiritual principle likelove. You can tell a spiritual thing from a physical thing in the sharing of it. The more you give of a physical thing, saymoney, the less you'll have or be left with. On the other hand, sharing something spiritual, like service or love, themore you get back in return; and the people it's shared with then share it with still others and it creates a mushrooming effect. I see so many young people, not just my nephew, who could use our program of recovery. I can't say
enough about Emotions Anonymous and that is why I serve. Derita P. Trustee

www.EmotionsAnonymous.org
PO Box 4245 St Paul, MN 55104-0245

Phone: 651-647-9712
Hours Mon—Thurs: 10 to 3, CT

director@emotionsanonymous.org
info@emotionsanonymous.org
submissions@emotionsanonymous.org
groupdata@emotionsanonymous.orgorders@emotionsanonymous.org
shipping@emotionsanonymous.org
loop@emotionsanonymous.org

Thank you for being part of the Emotions Anonymous International (“EAI”) fellowship and submitting your suggestions,writings, concepts, images, testimonials, and other materials to share with others. Please know that by submitting material, you are allowing the EAI organization to use it. All materials (except your personal information) submitted by anymeans become the property of the organization upon submission. Anything shared in any form of a meeting (face-toface, chat, phone, The Loop etc.) is not a submission. EAI copyrights materials so that members may be assured thatanything with the EAI name on it has been verified as being true to the program; submitted materials maybe edited.

Dear Friends in Recovery,The time has come for me to say farewell, this is the 130th EA Connection that I have been privileged topublish. I have loved doing the EA Connection, but now it is time for me to let go and let God. My wish
for you is that you stay healthy and continue to use the program of Emotions Anonymous to guide you
through this difficult time... Yours in 12 Step Recovery, Karen Mead, Editor EA Connection ( this one last time.)

RECOVERY USING THE TOOLS OF EAStep 4: Made a searching
and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
Step 4 was an eye opener for me. I
prepared this list knowing my deepest darkest secrets were about tocome out. I took my time. Ok, I procrastinated, I mean who doesn’tright! I was scared to be exposedand vulnerable! I spent years keeping those secrets so no one wouldknow how I had hurt others. Ithought " my goodness my sponsoris going to hate me for sure andprobably dump me!" I tried to postpone that! I really like her! Well I
couldn’t waste her time so I got onand worked hard to get it all out onpaper. Of all the steps, that was myfreedom from guilt, shame and fear.
I was accepted bad past and all AND
she didn’t dump me! My mind plays
terrible tricks on me. Always has!
The acceptance and compassion mysponsor showed me and still shows
lead me to freedom. Instead of telling myself how awful I was, I canlook at myself as someone
who did the best with what I
had and yes, I did makesome terrible choices but in
one instance, my HP (God) was rightthere even before I had a program.
It was my breaking point whereenough was enough. Did I want tolive or die a slow death. I had a hugefalling out with my best friend. I
thought she would hate me forever.
That was one of the most remembered times when I first met my HP(God). I surrendered in tears anddespair and asked for forgiveness.
Not only was I forgiven, I got the giftof my best friend back. Step 4 mademe appreciate that gift even more.
Step 4 is tough and it can be painful
but the rewards after are truly wonderful. That is if you can see the stepfor what it is, a step of discovery…

DeniseFor years I had mostly anxiety, but
for the past several months I've had
mostly peace. I've struggled withdepression, and there's been a lot ofimprovement for me. I've been taking anti‑depressant medications.
I've struggled with anger, andthere's been a lot of improvement
there. I've struggled with compulsive overeating, and there's been a
lot of improvement there.
I've been doing the 12 Steps of Emotions Anonymous. Part of my continued healing is that I share the solution with others.
For me, I made a list of memories
that I don't like. And I made a list ofmemories that I like, to try and keep
it balanced. And I made a list of resentments (who it was, what theydid, what the effect on me was, andmy part). I also made a list of what
I've felt guilty about. And I made alist of who I've hurt with my character defects and how...KevinThinking about the inventory today
and am trying to come up with agood way to approach it. I don’t
think just a laundry list of character
defects or positive traits is the bestsolution—though that seems like a
good place to start.
It seems like another good approachis to express how the defects or positive traits helps or hurts anotherperson. And also how they help or
hurt me.
I also thought quite a bit about asking a critical question which could
help my understanding. These are
tough questions to answer—partly because it’s
not as if I consciously don’t
want good for myself. I justnever learned to ask myself what I
do want—and then work to achievethat... Chris

Just for Today 4: I will takecare of my physical health; Iwill exercise my mind; I will
read something spiritual.
Ways I take care of my physicalhealth, currently, is to ride my indoor exercise bike, do householdchores and to eat meals or snacks inmoderation.
Ways I exercise my mind are, currently, to read interesting things on
the internet. I love to learn newthings. I can even check out online
books to read.
Ways I am reading something spiritual, currently, are to read yourshares here at this EA Loop, reading
EA literature as well as any otherspiritual things that I come across.
I also am trying to take good care of
my mental well-being, because mybody can be affected physically, if I
don't take care of my emotional
health. So I am relying on the 12steps & my Higher Power and all thespiritual things I have learned frommy time in recovery. This is helping
me with lots more serenity than not.
...AnonymousI've always been selfsufficient since I was ayoung boy, growing up with
12 siblings. I was never a squeaky
wheel, I just made due and found away. I always considered it astrength to be able to do it all myself, but in doing so we leave behind
others who desire to be a part ofour lives, and we close off our feelings. Being self-sufficient is wonderful, as long as we can do it and beavailable emotionally for others. I
have much gratitude that we getalong, love and respect each other,and can meet, eat, and share asoften as we do. I resolve to have thecourage to change the parts of me
that live alone and are not whole,and replace them with a connection,
an understanding, and love...Ty

DISCOVERING THE TOOLS OF EA
Reflection for today
I am complex. My emotions do not have to make sense – they just are. As I accept them, contradictions and all, I canchoose how I want to act. When I deny their existence or try to force them into my current understanding of mypattern, they control my actions. I become angry when there is no reason; I become depressed over nothing. As I accept myself, I find things make a lot more sense. This understanding usually comes without my exerting an intense
effort. It most often “occurs” to me. This comes because, as I can accept all of me, I am open. Today Book, April 6thGrounding during COVID19
I meet with a counselor who’s been helping me manage my anxiety in tandem with my use of the program principles andtools. She gave me an idea for a tactic that I’ve found helpful, so I wanted to share it.
The concept centers on the fact that during stressful times, I can feel unmoored or ungrounded – literally as if I’m floating orin a dream. This is usually accompanied by difficulty concentrating and fuzzy thinking. Saying the serenity prayer and turning
things over to my Higher Power is my first move, but sometimes I need to do something to better connect to my physicalself. So this week I’ve been adding something when I feel this way. I get outside, if possible, for a five-minute walk and reflect on what surrounds me.
Using the fingers of my right hand, I identify five things I can see, four things I can touch, three things I can hear, two things I
can smell and one thing I can taste. This gets me out of my head and into what’s real. I also tell myself, “Right now I amokay; right now I am grateful for what I have; right now my Higher Power has it under control.” This practice has helped“ground” me so I’m better able to cope with what the day brings. With the world in such a state of flux and my realitychanging from day to day, EA has been my rock. Mindfulness tools like this one have been useful too...Anonymous

Living in Today
During the current global crisis, I find my mind easily falls back into a pattern of feeding off drama. I've been entertaining
the possibility of a post apocalyptic world and using this as a justification for why I should reach out to people I haven't
spoken to in years (my ex best friend, my first love, childhood friends, men I was involved with). Well, my brain has always
felt most alive during the highest of highs and the lowest of lows, and early in life I learned to manipulate drama so I could
feel alive, feel like I mattered. Of course, I learned another way with EA and my other resources, and I know all those deadrelationships are dead for a reason--they were codependent, unhealthy, restrictive in some way. I remind myself that they
weren't all terrible. There was love there in many of them, and lots of growth and beautiful moments. But they no longer
serve me in whatever way--and even if the world comes to what I imagine it could in the darkest moments, those relationships would not serve me. So I come back to the present moment by focusing on my breath, petting my cat, drinking acold glass of water. I focus on things I can do like exercising my body, reading something spiritual, and writing to theloop. I also have to laugh at myself a little. The world is living through a historic time. Drama abounds, and yet my mind
imagines a Walking Dead post-apocalyptic world, and from there wants more and more and more. Well, go ahead, brain,
do your thing. In the meantime, I'll be washing dishes, revising my courses to be put online in a few weeks, and learning
how to use pastels. And I will be staying connected to the people in my life now through phone and facetime--and wishingwell via prayer and meditation all those people who no longer are… Sarah B

The Resilient of Humanity
I give myself about five minutes a day to chat with myself about how much I don't feel like wiping down door knobs /handles, etc...how much I hate washing my hands so much that they hurt....and how I really don't feel like walking
around my neighborhood....or the boring track...ok...the honesty DOES help me.
I have been researching my ancestors. Three of my great-grandmothers died between 1918 - 1919 and there is no record of where they are buried / not a lot of information on them. So, three of my grandparents grew up withoutmoms. This makes me wonder if / how they were affected by the last pandemic that hit the USA!! Was this how they
died? It makes me think a lot about the history of humanity...the suffering...and the resiliency of humans. Then I have to laugh to myself and think WOW: all I have to do is isolate, wipe-wipe-wipe, workfrom home, watch TV and walk around my block and stay calm. I could not be more
blessed!!! Nevertheless, I can still be honest with myself about how I feel :) I am allowed to have all theemotions that come my way. Thank you for being with me as we walk this 12 step journey together…
Anonymous

2019 - 2020 EAI Board of Trustees
Please feel free to contact members of the Board with questions or concerns.
Minutes of the Board of Trustees Meeting can be viewed here.

Scott J, MN 507-276-0323 sdjakel@gmail.com President
John W, MN 612-760-0313 johnwerner52@gmail.com Vice President
Colleen C, MN 651-245-5461 coyne2003@hotmail.com Secretary
Derita P, OH 216-624-3559 deritapippen@gmail.com Treasurer
Paul N, NJ 201-264-1807 paul@nobleequity.com Trustee
Steve B, CA 909-438-4938 stevebell_28@yahoo.com Trustee

THE TWELVE PROMISES—EA BOOK PAGES 70-71
These Promises may seem idealistic, exaggerated, or extravagant at first, but they really are possible. As wethoroughly and honestly work the program through Step 9, we start to notice new attitudes and feelings inourselves. Some of these promises may be realized quickly, others slowly, but they all develop naturally as aresult of honestly working the EA Program

Promise 4: No matter how far down the scale we have gone,
we see how our experience can benefit others.
The way this promise is written in the Big Book, the book entitled Alcoholics Anonymous, is “No matter how far down
the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others.” Similar, right? Except for one crucial
word: will. So we don't automatically see how our experience can benefit others. But, after doing the work, working
the 12 steps, we WILL see how our experience can benefit others. You have to be recovered (recovered from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body) in order for people to see the difference or change in you. Then, when you tell
your story you will benefit others. They will be inspired by your work and want to then do the work themselves because they will want the payoff or the result, thus the promise...Derita P, Trustee
As I move through life and continue to work the program, I always find Promise 4 to be an understated yet crucial
point to keep in mind. Working the program has been crucial for me in improving my emotional health. But it is noteasy. Every day I fail and unless I keep Promise 4 in mind, I will be tempted to give up on myself. Promise 4 helps me toremember that giving up on myself is tantamount to giving up on those around me, whether it be friends and family or
people in the program. Life is too valuable to give up on all of the people who matter to me. ..Paul N, Trustee
The difficulties and challenges I’ve faced are not what I’d choose for myself. But sometimes bad things do happen, andsometimes I make poor choices, usually related to my relationships with others. Often I know what’s right but lack the discipline to do the right thing (Hungry, Angry Lonely, Tired, etc.), but there have been a few times when I lost my compass entirely. When I experience setbacks, I have a choice to wallow in the negatives or put my program to work and look for thepositives. Sharing my story can help me turn things around and make this promise a reality for me...Colleen C, Trustee
The key things for me to share about my experience – to benefit others – is to say what I’ve learned and how I’vegrown. We could easily change Emotions Anonymous into Whiners Anonymous – just by emphasizing our difficult experiences in detail, whining about them. Instead, when we share lessons learned and when we speak about our spiritual growth, it’s a real gift for others. Rather than comparing “how far down the scale we’ve gone”, we can share –without comparing to anyone else but our selves – how far up the ladder of health and well-being that a power greaterthan ourselves has helped us to climb...Scott J, Trustee

With dark honesty, I thought I had failed at life, at living, at even wanting to be here. I started
writing in my journal and discovered it was having come through very difficult times that I had
learned the value of the using 12-step tools. With the experience of 'failure' and through thework of recovery, I actually discovered hope, my story lived. My experience eventually gave toothers who need depression recovery. The journey became others' hope...Sharon H, Member