Typed by Masanori Hikita (Matsumoto Academia)

April 15, 2006 (Saturday)
Mysteries of My Bloody English?
Sacrifice and Blood. Oh, Jesus!
血まみれの私の英語秘史。
犠牲と流血、なんて人生だ！

Watching on TV (A&E) “Mysteries of the Bible” the wholeday at hotel (Shelbonne MurrayHill), I got the sudden urge to write an essay on my Diary (my Bible). My diary is my life history,
the history of my bloody English.
NHK did a documentary: “English is Weeping;” displaying lots of my book on camera.
Unbelievable. Am I a comeback kid? It must be a dream!
Unfortunately, it WAS a dream. Woke up in bed the bread afternoon, Mysteries of the Bible
was still on. The planned interview with Prof. Keiber on FEAR was suddenly cancelled byDelight NY. Not again! “The Debater” magazine project flipped a few years ago. To come backI needed to get on Delight NY project, which proved to be a pipe dream. My last ray of hope
now is to climb on Japan Information Network. Asabuki, JIN’s CEO and I crossed each otherlast night. Are we another star-crossed lovers? Hanada (WILL’s managing editor) turned onme. With three strikes against me, how can I make it back to the media’s mainstream at theage of 66?
Common sense tells me I’m washed up, too washed up to be on JIN – my last straw. Will
Asabuki and Kevin save my soul? For another highlight in my career?
Oh, yes. It pains me to accept my glorious NHK days that were long gone. It’s beneath meto publicize in N.Y., admit that I still miss NHK days, when I’m letting everybody know that
I’ve already pulled the plug on Japan’s media. That’s my waking logic, but my dreaming logicbetrays me. – My subconsciousness rears its ugly head whole asleep.
When I’m awake, I feel too ashamed to show my vulnerability, but when I’m asleep, guilt,deepdown, comes back to haunt me. My English is a cure and a curse.
My life and that of the Way of English, my cross, is full of turns and twists, blood andsacrifices. My English, acquired through sweat, blood and tears, is like a sword smeared withblood.

21

Typed by Masanori Hikita (Matsumoto Academia)

Here’s a comparative analysis of two Pisceans’ bloody histories.
Jesus Christ, the Super Debater
Jesus

Michihiro Matsumoto, the ‘Gut’ Debater
Matsumoto

火 FIRE (Passion): Jesus lived apassionate and painful life. He
performed many miracles but wasbetrayed by Judas’s Kiss of death.
A new theory, He betrayed him to ask
him to betray Him.
(The same, passion-wise).

Two love marriages. Nothing gets over
the old one than the new one. Lovehurts. Misery needs company. My lovemarriage with English, English orAmerican, passion cuts both ways.

風 WIND (Situational Ethics, RealityPrinciple): He transformed himself alot. Baptism by water, followed by fire
baptism, Turned to politics following
the death of John the Baptist. Fasted
and debated with Satan, thesuper-tempter.

Changed careers many times. Stillwears many hats. Got my hands oncomputer. Internet still is my great
tempter. Starred as my neighbor’s
sumo champion. Judo, English, debate,business, all transformed into the Way;
if not to stardom.

石 ROCK (Principle. History): In
addition to his numerous track records(miracles in particular), he remained
principled, preaching sermons (Sermonon the Mount). Very Jewish. Sent as asacrificial lamb. His redemption forearthlings (sinners) was anotherexodus from Egypt. Jews still believe inredemption, but not by Jesus.

I turned everything. I touched to gold,
meaning, any skills acquisitions into theWay. Eigo-do, for instance. Michi isspirit, doh is soul. To preach “doh” isequal to taking up a cross – to redeem
a flock of sheeple or ‘awaken’ themmoreappropriately. Slavery
tofreedom.

水 Water (Compassion): He lowered
himself, washing the feet of his
disciples and healed people, curing
their diseases. Told the truth (or lies)
for the public good. The super star.

Unlike Jesus, I lowered myself to marry
two women to sacrifice them as well asmyself. I’m a sinner. Cold comfort. TheDa Vinci Code says, Jesus was
married, bearing a daughter. And I
headed many English learners in needof help of me.

22

Typed by Masanori Hikita (Matsumoto Academia)

空 VIOD (Influence): He still heals
many Bible readers. The Bible still is abest seller. His death gave life toChristianity. It takes his death toascend and resurrect to preach again.
Lord: Die and you’ll be great. Doubting
Thomas: “Die and prove it.”

What kind of death will I die? Whocares? Ask Krishnamurti. My new zen
master. He says, “Free yourself fromafterlife.”

23