November, 2021
Volume 2, Issue 7

Quick Tip of theMonthStrength & Hope
A message in support of emotional well-being.

Gratitude — Steve B.
Earlier in my life, I had a difficult time with gratitude. Although I learned
the social niceties of expressing gratitude, learned to say “thank you”
when it was expected of me, I rarely felt gratitude. Instead, I always feltthat everything in my life should be better. Regardless of where I was inlife or what I had achieved, I always focused on what I felt was missing. I
longed to fill these voids with more – more success, more comforts, morestuff. I believed that my life would be better and happier only if I could
get that next thing-And then I could be grateful!
Looking back, I see how foolish I was. I was on an endless treadmill, andeach new acquisition raised the bar and became the base-line for a newround of desires. There were always new voids to fill! I never took thetime to notice, much less to be grateful for, all of the wonderful people,experiences, and things in my life.
I was still new to the Program when someone told me that happiness isn’t
about having the things you want, but about wanting the things you have– and being grateful for them! It took me a while to work through this, but
I eventually came to accept this as true. Developing an “attitude of gratitude” literally saved my life. By changing my perspective and focusing on
the abundant good things in my life – things I took for granted – rather
than on what I thought was missing, I began to develop true gratitude and,eventually, acceptance, forgiveness, and serenity.
One technique I used to develop my sense of gratitude was keeping a daily gratitude journal. For several years, at the end of every day I would
write down one thing for which I was grateful, something different everyday. Reviewing this journal as it grew over time helped me gain a newperspective.
These past 20 months or so have been especially challenging. But I knowthat without the Program and my “attitude of gratitude” it would havebeen much worse. By focusing on my blessings even in hard times I canfeel gratitude, and live gratitude, every day.
Happy Thanksgiving!

A quiet moment toyourself can help put yourlife in perspective. Two
minutes of breathing softly
can reset your outlook.

Your Trustees
Paul N.— TX
929-399-6515
aibtikarfoundation@gmail.com
President
Steve B.— CA
909-438-4938
stevebell_28@yahoo.com
Vice President
Colleen C.— MN
651-245-5461
coyne2003@hotmail.com
Secretary
Derita P.— OH
216-624-3559
deritapippen@gmail.com
Treasurer
John W.— MN
612-760-0313
johnwerner52@gmail.com
Kelsey W.— IL
618-334-6658
knlweez@gmail.com
Behzad Arabpour Dahouei —Iran0098 913 341 4015
Behzad_7761@yahoo.com

November’s Tools
for Recovery
Step 11
Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious
contact with God as we understood Him, praying only forknowledge of His will for us andthe power to carry that out.

Promise 11
We acquire a feeling of security
within ourselves.
Just for Today 11
I will not compare myself withothers. I will accept myself andlive to the best of my ability.
Slogan 11
Keep it simple.
Helpful Concept 11
Each person is entitled to hisor her own opinions and may
express them at a meeting
within the guidelines of EA.
We are all equal—no one ismore important than another.
Tradition 11
Our public relations policy isbased on attraction rather thanpromotion; we need always
maintain personal anonymity at
the level of press, radio andfilms.

The Point of Praying for Knowledge- Leigh B. (Australia)
This is my answer to one of the questions on Step 11 in theWelcoming a Spiritual Awakening workbook.
2. Why might it be good for me to “Pray only for knowledgeof God’s will for me and the power to carry that out?”
When I feel ‘lost’ in emotions and ruminating thoughts, it ishard to see the wood for the trees. I need direction from myHigher Power, as my own ‘compass’ can be misleading,bound in habits and not always helpful. My Higher Power’s
compass is sure, steady and reliable and knowledge of Its
Will can show me the way forward. By praying also for thepower to carry out my Higher Power’s Will, I will not only
be able to see the way forward, but have the wherewithal tomove forward.

EA Participant Survey Results
An anonymous online survey was conducted last spring togather data on participation in EA and how that participation
related to improvements in affect and emotional management.
A total of 264 respondents completed some portion of thesurvey; 175 respondents provided enough data to be includedin the analysis. The sample was majority female (67%), white(77%), educated (54% have a bachelor’s or advanced degree),and participate in EA within the United States (75%). The
average age of participants was 55 years and nearly one-thirdof the sample was retired.
Lower levels of current negative affect were associated withlonger length of participation and more roles taken inmeetings. Similarly, lower levels of emotional reactivity wereassociated with longer length of participation and more roles
taken in meetings. With respect to participants’ subjective
assessment of the impact of EA on their lives, a greater
positive average impact was associated with longer
participation, more frequent participation, participation in
more roles within meetings, and more engagement outside ofmeetings.

Principle 11
Spirituality

You can find the Trustee Reflections on the website,www.emotionsanonymous.org.
This month we focus on Step 11.
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Contribution Gratitude

Comparisons — Kelly M.

EAI could not operate without
donations and we deeply appreciate yoursupport! Recent gifts have been received
from these groups and individuals:

I remember when I first read a "don't compare" rule in a
JFT years ago. I was confused. I had never heard anything"bad" about comparing.

London, United Kingdom Wed
Valencia, Spain “Concordia”
Sacramento, CA “Discuss the Solution”
Emotivi Anonimi Italia Intergroup
Ukiah, CA (2 Groups) Hollywood, FL
Bend, OR (3 Groups) Midwest City, OK
Hackensack, NJBurlington, IA
14 Anonymous Individuals
Elizabeth B
Mark DDaryl D
Luz MLouis VRemington P Sandy P
Kathleen M Marilyn JRon LPaul N

Kelley S
Leigh B
Jerry HBob W
Miriam N

Administrative NewsThe Annual Membership Meeting washeld virtually on October 23rd, 2021.
Updates on the program and theorganization were made by the Board
President and the Executive Director.
Committee reports included updates
on the Literature and By-Law
committees.
Member discussion included getting
more information out about Step
Study groups, the need for moresponsors and the upcoming “EA
through the Holidays” efforts. Afterthe formal meeting concluded there
was an additional hour discussion on
how to encourage healthy groups anddiscussion on materials that iscurrently or could be made available
to help groups with this importantsubject.

This led me down a whole journey into looking into emotional abuse—what it is and the manipulation of it. Comparisons
are a strong weapon in emotional abuse. Once I realized this, I
policed myself (and still do) for comparisons I make to people(and even situations - e.g. why would I 'compare' my life right
now to the summer I had last year ... unless I want to torturemyself!!!). There is never a winner in a comparison, it either
causes suffering to the person/situation who is on the "losing"side or a "momentary" gain (making the person doing thecomparing more powerful) to the person/situation on the"winning" side.
I realized that comparisons are always subjective. No matter
how much I might want to think otherwise, a "powerful" manipulator can ruin the best person's day with a comparison…
“it is so great you are (FILL IN WORD) but it seems that other people who are (FILL IN SAME WORD) are more … successful / richer / prettier, skinnier / nicer / better ...thanYOU.” It's a simple formula for powerful emotional abuse and I now look for it in my everyday life. I try not to do it andas soon as I hear other people doing it, my ears perk up !!
I have found my "biggest" challenge is the "yeah but"… when
I feel say (or hear) "yeah, but they did this or that or the otherthing"… it is an excuse to compare and abuse. I watch myself,for, as my program has shown me, not only do two wrongs
not make a right, but two wrongs hurt me twice as much as
one "wrong."
Please write!
We encourage member reflections! Please submit yours tosubmissions@emotionsanonymous.org. Reflections should be
no more than 200 words. Please note which step/promise/
tradition etc. you are referencing.
Office Information
EAI P.O. Box 4245 St. Paul MN 55104-0245
Office Hours: M-TH 10a.m.—3 p.m. CT
Phone: 651-647-9712
www.emotionsanonymous.org
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