Supporting Families of COVID-19 Victims During the Ongoing Pandemic

Supporting Children Who Have Experienced Bereavement
Noriko Setou1), Yukihiro Sakaguchi2), Noriko Murakami3)
1) Fukushima Medical University, School of Medicine, Department of Disaster Psychiatry2) Kwansei Gakuin University，School of Human Welfare Studies3) Kobe Red Cross Hospital, Division of Psychosomatic Medicine＊English translator and proofreader

Mikiko Yamaguchi and Heather Hill

1) The impact of the pandemic on children
・While infections are still present in the community, children are greatly restricted in theiractivities and suffer from the constant bombardment of information from the media andpeople around them.

・Many children are anxious and scared about the possibility of them or people close to them
becoming infected by COVID-19. Especially for children living with family members who areelderly, are ill or have disabilities, or if they have experienced bereavement in the past thiscan easily heighten anxiety.

2) Support for children when someone close to them is hospitalized・

Ask children what they know about the new Coronavirus infection. Children may be getting
wrong or distorted information from the media and from people around them.
When delivering "correct" information to children, give them explanations appropriate to theirage and do not place excessive burdens on them. If you don't know how to answer some of
their questions, it is ok to simply tell them you don't know the answer.

・When the person’s condition is uncertain, do not make firm statements like "He/she willdefinitely recover".
Rather, tell children they are supported and protected no matter what happens.
Set aside some times when all family members can relax together and also provide
opportunities for children to do things by themselves.

・When death is near for a family member or a relative, keep communicating especially withchildren.

3) Support for children when their loved one has died・It is important to tell children about the person's death in a truthful manner and at theearliest possible time using language appropriate to their age. At that time, give children thechance to ask questions. It may be difficult for them to understand about death after justone explanation. Make sure how they have understood what you’ve said. You may have tocarefully repeat the explanation several times.

・When you talk about the death of a family member or relative, it is preferable to check withchildren how much they understand about the symptoms and the course of the illness, thendevelop the conversation from there.

・

It is difficult for adults to see children agitated and grieving, but children can handle
bereavement when trusted grown-ups tell them the truth rather than leave them without
any explanation.

・

During this difficult time following bereavement, children need a lot of love and need a feelingof security. It is important for children to know people care about them even when thosepeople are very sad.

・Children of school age or older often blame themselves for the death of a loved one.
Therefore, adults need to repeatedly tell children not to blame themselves.

・In ordinary times, when a child loses his/her family member or a relative, the rituals of thefuneral wake and funeral ceremonies present a good opportunity to learn aboutcommemorating the person with others and to understand the importance of offering
sympathy to one another. Also, farewell ceremonies like these serve to reduce feelings ofisolation. Additionally, connection with relatives of their own age is very beneficial to children.

・While infections are still present in the community, children don't have opportunities toexperience the funeral wake and ceremonies. Their feelings of isolation and pain can beamplified by not being with people who share their grief and can offer mutual support. That
is why it is important for family members to support children's thoughts.

・In times like these, family members need to find new ways to support one another. Inachieving this, children may well be more creative and skillful and come up with better ideas
than adults.
For example, small children can share memories with their brothers and sisters by drawing
and creating handicrafts that relate to the deceased person, making a memory box to put
memorable items in, putting photographs in a scrapbook, or sending pictures taken bysmartphone to cousins and other relatives. It is very meaningful to share their handicrafts
with others.

・

There are things that children can do with adults. For example, writing a letter together tothe deceased person, cooking dishes that the person liked, singing a song for the person,and possibly taking a walk to a place the person liked. These activities give children thechance to naturally express their feelings.

・To encourage these creative activities, tell children that they can talk about their feelings
and help them actually do that. Emphasize to them that it’s ok to cry when one is sad, thatpeople support each other when they are lonely, that one does not always have to be
confident, and that there are a lot of people who need them.

【Reference】
Cruse Bereavement Care https://www.cruse.org.uk/
Australian center for grief and bereavement
https://www.grief.org.au/Default.aspx?hkey=e57b003b-1eac-495b-b267-74456fc2d08d
The Irish Hospice Foundation

https://hospicefoundation.ie/

LEEDS Bereavement Forum

http://lbforum.org.uk/【Note】
・The information we have provided here should serve merely as a guide. When offering actual
support, please respect the situation at the time and thoughts and feelings of children well.
[First Edition: May 19, 2020]