Sharing Your Story
How to Think throughYour Options
A guide for survivors of sexual violence

Dedicated to healing. Advocating for change.
barcc.org | hotline: 800-841-8371, barcc.org/chat© 2020 Boston Area Rape Crisis CenterAs a survivor of sexual violence, you may be
asked or feel moved to speak publicly
about some or all of your experience. This guideis a resource for people considering public
sharing, drawn from what BARCC has learned
from the survivors we work with. This guide will
help you think through a variety of things, suchas your goals as well as potential risks, toconsider in the process.

Sharing your story is up to you,and you deserve to makeinformed decisions about
whether and how
you do it.
You are in control of whether and how to shareabout your experience as a survivor. You have
many options in your healing journey, andsharing your experience publicly is just one.
Some survivors find sharing their story to be anempowering experience that is part of their
healing. At the same time, it is difficult to fully
predict how others will respond and somesurvivors have had negative experiences. If you
do decide to share publicly, keep in mind that it’s
not all or nothing: you can choose how, in whatcircumstances, and at what level of detail you
feel comfortable talking about your experience.
Ultimately, what matters most is not what
others want from you but what has value andmeaning for you.

“Sharing yourstory publicly
isn’t therapy, but
it is therapeutic;
it can be a greatpart of thehealingprocess.”—Member of the BARCC
Survivor Speakers Bureau

Boston Area Rape Crisis Center: Dedicated to healing. Advocating for change.
barcc.org | hotline: 800-841-8371, barcc.org/chat© 2020 Boston Area Rape Crisis CenterConsiderations
Goal

What is motivating you to share your experience publicly? Common goals include raisingawareness of the impact of sexual violence and educating people about the many aspects ofthe issue. You may also want to connect with other survivors, let them know they are notalone, and offer them hope in their own healing. Some people want to share their story torequest accountability from an offender; if you want to name the offender publicly or shareenough information to identify the offender, a legal consultation would help you navigate
the legal implications of this. If you are in the Greater Boston area, you can contact us forlegal advocacy services (see back page) to talk through this and other considerations.
In our work, survivors who have experienced the most benefit and had the most positive
experiences in sharing their stories have done so with goals of changing policy andeducating people for social change. Positive goals can often carry you through any bumps inthe road. Sharing is more likely to be positive when you are clear about what you hope toachieve and feel confident that the platform(s) you contribute to will serve that purpose.
Think about how the level of detail you share might affect your goal. If public education is
your goal, and you share a very detailed story, some people may be too triggered to take inyour message. The most effective speakers share only the key aspects of their experienceand journey that convey specific points, such as the harm of self-blame, the impact of apositive response to disclosure, or the challenge of not being believed—to name only a few.

Platform There are many different ways to share your experience publicly. The benefits, risks, andprivacy considerations may be different for you based on what medium you are thinking of
sharing your story in. Platforms can include, but are not limited to, social media posts, news
editorials or articles, radio and television shows, in-person speaking events, and blogs.
Consider whether the platform will permit responses directed back to you and what thatwill mean for you. Responses can often be supportive, but they might also be critical.
Consider what kind of feedback and support you may need before, during, and after sharing.

SafetyYour safety and that of your friends and family is an important factor to weigh in publicly
sharing your experience. Will telling your story put your safety or the safety of yourfriends and family at risk? Consider whether sharing your experience will open up thepotential for retaliation. Even if the offender is not named, are other people or entities
identified who also hold responsibility and as a result may pose a safety or privacy
concern to you or your family and friends? Depending on what information you decide toshare, others may be liable for actions they did or did not take at the time they becameaware of the victimization.
Continued on next page
Boston Area Rape Crisis Center: Dedicated to healing. Advocating for change.
barcc.org | hotline: 800-841-8371, barcc.org/chat© 2020 Boston Area Rape Crisis CenterConsiderations continued
Privacy

How do you feel about your story being out in the world? What details are you
comfortable sharing? How might it affect your personal life and professional life, as
well as those of your family and significant others, now and in the future?
Remember that there are ways to share your story while remaining anonymous (youcan use a pseudonym or your initials, for example), and that all public sharing is not thesame. Talking to a group of college students is generally a very different experience
than talking to a reporter in terms of privacy, and there can even be a big variation
between different publications in the media.
In thinking about sharing your experience online, remember that content on theinternet cannot be removed completely. While you might feel comfortable sharingyour story now, give yourself time to consider how you may feel differently in thefuture and why.
Also keep in mind that there are ways to take action to end sexual violence, to pursue
greater healing, and to connect with other survivors that don’t involve publicly
sharing about your experience.

Criminaland othercases

If you are engaged in a criminal, civil, grievance, or other formal proceeding, consider
that public sharing could interfere with your goals in that process. It is possible thatwhat you share publicly could become part of the formal proceeding and may disrupt
what you hope to achieve in that process. You may want to speak with someone—suchas your local rape crisis center, district attorney, or lawyer—about the possible effectsof publicly sharing your experience while engaged in a formal process such as a criminal,
civil, family court, employment, immigration, housing, or campus case.

Emotional Do you feel emotionally prepared to share your story? Talking about your experiences
publicly may be difficult or painful. Keep in mind that societal attitudes, while shiftingwell-being and improving, still often unfairly blame survivors and excuse offenders. Ensure thatyou have support to draw on if you decide to move forward.

Legalliability

Will speaking publicly have legal implications? When you publicly share identifying
information, it could give rise to someone taking legal action against you. This issue iscomplex, and we recommend consulting with an attorney about potential legal liability
and how to navigate those risks if this might be of concern.
Boston Area Rape Crisis Center: Dedicated to healing. Advocating for change.
barcc.org | hotline: 800-841-8371, barcc.org/chat© 2020 Boston Area Rape Crisis Center

Guiding questions
What are your main goals in sharing your story?

What concerns do you have for yourself? For your family and significant others?

What are you comfortable sharing? (Think about your goals and concerns, whether you want toremain anonymous, what identifying details you do or do not want to include.)

What channels or outlets are you comfortable with (e.g., public speaking engagements, writtenmaterials, online communications, speaking with the press)?

What support do you have or can you seek out in this process?

Boston Area Rape Crisis Center: Dedicated to healing. Advocating for change.
barcc.org | hotline: 800-841-8371, barcc.org/chat© 2020 Boston Area Rape Crisis Center

Things to remember
Whether and how you share your story is up to you.
There are many aspects to consider when publicly
sharing your experience.
If and when you decide to tell your story, you deserve
support in doing so.

I decided not to share publicly,
because I don’t like the idea ofpeople picturing the rape
happening to me or judging
me; resilience is part of mypersona, while vulnerabilities
are difficult for me to share.
—Survivor

Boston Area Rape Crisis Center: Dedicated to healing. Advocating for change.
barcc.org | hotline: 800-841-8371, barcc.org/chat© 2020 Boston Area Rape Crisis Center

More to explore
Additional resourceYour Voice, Your Choice: A Survivor Media Guide, by CounterQuo, available from the Victim Rights
Law Center at bit.ly/CQsurvivormedia.

Further exploration
If you're in the Greater Boston area, you can call the BARCC office at 617-492-8306 to getconnected with a legal advocate, who can help walk you through the legal and privacy implications ofsharing your story, or with a counselor.
If you're in the Greater Boston area and interested in joining the BARCC Survivor Speakers Bureau,
visit barcc.org/ssb.
If you're elsewhere, check out the RAINN Speakers Bureau at rainn.org/speakers-bureau.
If you have received BARCC services and would like to share your story to help BARCC raiseawareness and show the impact of our services, please contact stories@barcc.org to explore
options.

“Sharing my story
really made me
more comfortablewith my story and inmy skin.”—Member of the BARCC
Survivor Speakers Bureau

Boston Area Rape Crisis Center: Dedicated to healing. Advocating for change.
barcc.org | hotline: 800-841-8371, barcc.org/chat© 2020 Boston Area Rape Crisis Center

About BARCC
The Boston Area Rape Crisis Center (BARCC) provides free, confidential services to survivors of sexual
violence ages 12 and up and their loved ones, as well as other providers. We support survivors of all
genders from the immediate crisis after sexual violence to years and decades later. Our goal is toempower survivors to heal and seek justice in ways that are meaningful to them. We create the socialchange needed to end sexual violence through educational trainings and legislative and policy advocacy.

Programs and services
Hotline (by phone 24-7, by web
chat 9:00 a.m.–11:00 p.m. daily)
Medical Advocacy (24-7)
Case Management
Counseling
Incarcerated Survivor Support
Legal Advocacy

Education and advocacy projects
Access to Forensic Information ProjectCommunity Awareness, Outreach, and Prevention
Education
Movement for Access, Safety, and Survivors (MASS)
Collaboration
Survivor Speakers BureauYouth Leadership Corps

Connect with us“What you gave mewas more
important thanservices. It was theunquestioned
sentiment of ‘I
believe you’ andthat left a lasting
impact.”—Survivor

barcc.org/barcc.org@barcc@barccofficial/company/boston-area-rape-crisis-center

This project was (partially) supported by the Massachusetts Office for Victim
Assistance through a Victims of Crime Act of 1984 (VOCA) grant from the Officefor Victims of Crime, Office of Justice Programs, U.S. Department of Justice.

Boston Area Rape Crisis Center: Dedicated to healing. Advocating for change.
barcc.org | hotline: 800-841-8371, barcc.org/chat© 2020 Boston Area Rape Crisis Center