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D10 WAYS TOPOCKET READERS
10 WAYS TO - Series Overview

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The 10 WAYS TO series provides advice, skills, andstrategies to the readers for successfully negotiating
different aspects of life. Each book suggests 10 clear,
useful ways to the reader. The reader is encouraged
to critically reflect on the reading material and theirown lives in order to make any changes that would
benefit them.The series includes the following.
••••••••••

10 ways to achieve work-life balance
10 ways to be more productive
10 ways to manage money
10 ways to be successful in love
10 ways to be assertive
10 ways to be smart online
10 ways to be environmentally friendly
10 ways to be healthy
10 ways to work in a team
10 ways to organize a trip

DMore titles will appear in the series at a later date.

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be Assertive

10 WAYS TO
be Assertive.... 4

1. Make a list of good things that will happen
if you are assertive.... 6

2. Think about times when you wanted tobe more assertive.... 83. Know the difference between assertive,aggressive, and passive-aggressive...104 . Learn ways to keep yourself calm... 12

5. Plan and practice... 14

6. Use assertive body language... 16

7. Use “I” instead of “you”... 18

8. Start small... 209. Be ready to say “no”... 22

10. Be ready for people to criticize the newassertive you... 24

Summary... 26

Reflection Questions... 28

Vocabulary in Context... 29Vocabulary List... 36

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10 WAYS TO

Introduction

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Think of people who can directly tellothers what they think. They only takeon work they want to do. They calmly
talk with other people. They are
confident. People listen carefully when
they talk. They speak up when they
think something needs to change.
They also respect how other people
feel. So, other people like to workwith them. These kinds of people areassertive.

DFor some people, being assertive feels
natural. For the rest of us, being assertive is difficult. However, learning tobe more assertive can make your life alot better. You will have less stress. You
can say what you feel without making
other people angry or sad. You won’t4

be Assertive

SO AN MPH OT LAELI COCO PYagree to jobs you don’t want to do.
Your relationships with other people
will improve. You can enjoy your time
at work or school more. You will behappier with your life.
Learning to be assertive will take time.
It will take effort. You will need topractice. However, as time goes by, it
will become more natural.

DNow, stop and think for a moment
about your life. Think about what it
would be like if you were more assertive. How would your life change if
you could speak up for yourself more?
What if you could calmly and directly
tell others how you feel? Let’s look at
ten ways that you can do this:5

10 WAYS TO

1. Make a list of good things thatwill happen if you are assertive

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We might feel scared to be more assertive at first. Sometimes, it is easier
to just stay quiet. It is easier to not say
anything. However, not saying anything may make us unhappy. Staying
quiet may not make things better.

DWhy do you want to be more assertive?
Make a list of reasons. List small reasons and big reasons. Don’t just write,“I want to be more assertive with myboss.” Don’t just write, “I want to be
more assertive with my family andfriends.” Write exactly what you wantto happen. For example, “I want to tell
my boss I can’t do work on the weekend, so I can have more free time.” Or,6be AssertiveSO AN MP
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It always makes me feel bad.” Or, “I
want to ask my friends to listen to me.
Sometimes, I want them to do what
I want to do – not what they want todo.”

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Don’t show this list to anyone. Keep it
somewhere you can easily look at it.
Read it often. This list will help you toremember why you want to try to bemore assertive.

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2. Think about times when you
wanted to be more assertive

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Remember a time when you wanted to be more assertive. Think about
how you felt at that time. Think about
what you said (or what you didn’t say).
Think about why you weren’t more assertive.

DDid you not know what to say? Was
this the problem? Then, try thinking
ahead about what to say if this happens again. Even better, write down
what you will say. Did you feel nervous? Was this the problem? Then,
you will need to learn ways to keepcalm. Did you feel shy? If so, you willneed to make efforts to overcome being shy. For example, learn to focus on

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other people. Don’t think about yourfeelings of shyness.

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Were you scared to speak up? Why
were you scared? Sometimes, we feelscared to try something new. We always do the same thing. We do it even
if it doesn’t make us happy. We imagine something bad will happen if wespeak up. However, most of the time
the bad things we imagine do nothappen. Maybe, something good will
happen if you speak up. Maybe, youwill get what you want. Maybe, things
will change for the better.

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Reflection Questions

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1. Can you remember the 10 ways to beassertive? Test yourself. If you forget
any, go back, and read them again.

2. Do you do any of the 10 ways to beassertive in your life? If so, which ones
do you do?
3. How could you use any of the 10 ways
to be assertive in your life?

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4. What do you think you will dodifferently in your life after reading
this book?

5. Can you think of other ways to beassertive?

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Vocabulary in Context

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1. Directly• Some people can directly tell others what
they think. They simply say it.
• The airplane went directly to Paris. It did notstop in any other city on the way.
• You should tell your mother directly whathappened. Don’t wait for someone else to tellher.
2. Calmly• Some people can calmly tell others what theythink. They do not get angry or nervous.
• Please calm down. You are too excited.
• She took a deep breath, sat down, and calmly
told us what happened.

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3. Confident• If you plan and practice something a lot, youwill feel more confident. You will know whatto do.
• The tennis player was very confident. Sheknew she could win the game.
• He is very confident at parties. He can talk toeveryone and feel relaxed.

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Vocabulary List(Adverb) to go straight without changing direction, moving away or stopping.

Calmly:(Adverb) doing something without showing anger, nervousness, or other strong feelings. Calm(Adjective) not showing or feeling anger, nervousness or strong feelings. Calm (Verb) is to makesomeone or something calm.

Confident:(Adjective) feeling positive; feeling that you can dosomething.

Speak up:

(Phrasal Verb) to say what you are thinking, even
if it is different from what others are saying.

Respect:(Verb) to think about other people’s feelings.

Assertive:(Adjective) having a confident personality.

Natural:(Adjective) acting in a way that is easy and relaxed.
Not acting a way that has been learned.

Relationships:(Noun) being connected to another person.

Effort:(Noun) hard work done to achieve a goal.

Scared:(Adjective) to feel afraid. Scary (Adjective) issomething that makes you feel scared.

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Directly:36