My Stay As an Uchideshi in Kobayashi Dojo September 2010
Lars Peder Fjelldal
When I arrived in Tokyo on the 21th of September 2010 I
was not totally unprepared for what was coming. I had alreadybeen there for two months in April/May 2009, and those were thebest but also most challenging two months of my life. There wasso much happening, both around me and inside of me that it took
at least a year for me to absorb it. When I arrived the first time, I
had merely practised aikido for a year or so, and I was continually
suffering from great pain and agony stemming from years of unhealthy lifestyleand bad habits. At the tender age of 28 I was feeling like an old man. My firststay in Kobayashi dojo proved a turning point though, just as I hoped it would.
Born and raised in the modern Western tradition of individuality,indipendency and freedom of thought and speech, I carried with me the idea thatwhatever I was feeling or thinking should be expressed at any cost. Not theeasiest point of departure for a rigorous training regime in Japan you might think,and you are right. But then again, deep down I knew that these were also thevery reasons I had to go, to face myself and my ideas that had brought me little
happiness and that had become my prison. So I was very afraid when I came thefirst time, but when I left I brought home great gifts from the Kobayashi Dojo. I
had gained some control over my negative tendencies, started opening my body,
I felt energy running through me like never before, and I knew that I had madefriends in a country far from my homeland. I will always be grateful toKobayashi Dojo for this.
The second time I went to Japan and Kobayashi Dojo, I thought that I wasprepared. And in a way I was, the training was more easily absorbed, my body
did not ache as much. Even though I could still not sit seiza for a long periodeof time, I could at least sit cross-legged without much agony. I knew more
about Japanese customs and my duties in the dojo. Yet, I was not prepared forthe reactions of my mind when confronted with the necessity to change, to let goof old patterns and make room for new knowledge.
As a consequence my mind led me into believing that I should break off
the uchideshi stay and go out on my own in search of what I needed. I made theclassical mistake of thinking that the grass
is greener on the other side of the fence. I
am ashamed of this now, and I would liketo take the opportunity once more toapologize to Kobayashi sensei, Hiroaki
sensei and all the other people that I
offended by committing this stupid mistake.
Fortunately though, Kobayashi
sensei in his wisdom and experience couldsee what was going on in my mind, and while explaining to him the reasons formy actions, I realized that I was making a big mistake. At this point I was afraidthat what I had done was irrevocable, but Kobayashi sensei being the generous
and understanding person that he is urged me to continue my stay as anuchideshi in Kobayashi Dojo. I felt great relieve after this. Even though mytroubling mind had caused problems, Kobayashi sensei helped me to get over it.
An episode that tells the story of the wisdom and understanding of Kobayashi
sensei and Hiroaki sensei, as well as showing the generosity and forgiving
culture of Kobayashi Dojo. This is another great gift that I am thankful toreceive.
There are so many good memories from my last uchideshi stay that its
hard to know where to start. Wednesday morning breakfast at Hiroaki sensei's
home when Myoko san cooks for us is always a great treat! I love to go toYamawaki sensei's house in the mountains, beautiful surroundings and always
such a welcoming athmosphere. And it's a good opportunity to practise myFrench!
One of the special memories is when Hiroaki sensei with family brought
us uchideshis to the famous Nikko temples and shrines. A deeply spiritual place
where nature meets human endeavour. Hiroaki sensei also organized for me toplay a piano concert at a nearby venue. Whenever I had time, which was notvery often since aikido practise and dojo duties take up most of it, I ran upstairs
to prepare for my Beethoven recital. Friday morning was one such time, after
breakfast and cleaning up I used to ask Kobayashi sensei if it was alright that I
go practise the piano for a while. He would say daijobu and I would run off. I
have to admit that one morning I was so sleepy I feel asleep on the floor of Kahochan's room shortly after I started playing, only to wake up to the sounds of themorning meeting ending one hour later. I was worried about there not being
enough time for preparation, but somehow the concert went well. It seems thatthe extensive aikido practise made me prone to learning quickly! The annual
Iwama camp was another great experience. Unfortunately the bad weather
denied us the traditional run on the beach before morning practise, but in return
we had a great party the following night!
And then there are all the little things, like sitting in a train, enjoying sushi
and sake and grilled fish after evening practise, trying to make time for a coffee
inbetween sessions. The crisp, crystal clear air of Tokyo autumn, the trees
shedding their leaves so that we can sweep
them up again, the simplicity and natural
rythm of things as an uchideshi.
O'sensei sad that aikido is misogi,
purification of body, mind and spirit. There
are many ways that one can practise aikido,
some take it as self-defence, others as merely
excersize, and others still use it as a means topurify oneself on all levels of being. Personally, I believe that all these aspects
are inherent to aikido, nevertheless I think it is important to remember O'senseis
words: Aikido is misogi.
How is aikido misogi? To fully answer this question one needs to have alot more insight that I have, but I can at least point to some effects that thetraining has on my body and mind. Aikido practise strengthens the muscles andtendons, increases circulation and thereby enhances the getting rid of wastematerial from the body. It gives a feeling of centered-ness and increases balance,
improves the posture and makes all parts of the body fall in their natural place,both limbs and internal organs. If for some reason they are not alredy there, thisprocess can cause pain, but this is part of the fun. Everyone who loves a goodnikkyo agrees with this!
On a finer level aikido increases the flow of ki through your body. This
will help you to use you body more efficiently, to be able to learn new things
quicker and better, stay healthy and enjoy life more.
There are also other aspects of aikido practise that I find important. Thereis the social aspects, which is much more that just getting together and havingsome fun, not that there is anything wrong
with that though. In aikido you learn totrust your fellow human beings, you letthem put yourself in compromising andweak positions where you are vulnerable toinjury. As nage you learn to take care ofpeople and feel their limitations, to help
them overcome whatever is that they are
struggling with. You refine your caracter,examine you feelings towards others, locate
negative thoughts and emotions and eradicate them if you want to. The meeting
between tori and uke provides an opportunity to examine youself, your body,your emotions and your thoughts. Together you can create an invironment for
fellow growth.
As your skills improve, it is easy to forget about humility. You don't want
to remember that you were once suffering from all kinds of pain and mental
afflictions. One of the great mistakes of people who are growing stronger is todispice those who are not yet so strong, whether it be in their body, will power
or elsewhere. With strength comes power, and with power comes responsability.
In aikido practise you meet people who are less skilled than youself, and you
meet people who are infinitely more skilled than yourself. These encountersoffer different challenges and opportunities for growth and learning. You learn
that you are connected to other people and cultures, to the ground, to nature
itself. O'sensei said that aikido has the power to harmonize heaven and earth.
Even if I cannot understand what he means, I try to keep this in the back of mymind while I practise. Hopefully, little by little insight will come.