My Uchideshi Experience
Brandon Nimz
It is strange to me that today is mylast day here; I am packed and finishing
final projects for Kobayashi Shihan. SoonI will begin the usual morning routine ofcleaning the dojo, eating breakfast, andheading to Fuchu to train. However, unlike
usual, I won’t be returning to get morework and cleaning done and then tocontinue the regular uchideshi life. Instead,I will be heading out to a hotel near theairport and then flying away. Now at theend of my time here, it seems like it was both a short time and a long time.
Each person comes to this uchideshi program with different goals andmotivations, and many people here have different, and sometimes conflicting,expectations of what uchideshi are and what they are supposed to do. Add to that thefact that dojo communities are living, changing groups, and I’m fairly certain that noone person’s experience here will ever be quite the same as another person’s.
For myself, I came to train with Kobayashi Shihan and learn from him, to learn
more about the heart and history of Aikido from his perspective, and to learn more
about the culture and how Aikido is perceived in Japan by practicing at multiple
dojos in the Kobayashi Dojo network and at Hombu dojo. I planned to do my best toserve Sensei and the dojo community, and I also planned to have some time awayfrom my usual life to pray and reflect on what’s going on back home without being
immersed in it to where I couldn’t see. My wife and I have some challenging things
to think through as the Christian ministry and the dojo that I run in Kansas both
continue to grow and change, as do we.
To some degree, I would say that each of my original goals was met, though
once I was here I was too busy to ever actively work towards any of them too much.
Besides the usual uchideshi life, I still had duties back home that I had to take care ofthrough emails, messages, and a few phone calls. That and extra training andexperiences with the other uchideshi tended to use up all of my time.
Nonetheless, through the experience itself I did learn a lot
about Japanese culture, I learned more about how Aikido isperceived here in Japan, and I also learned a lot fromSoshihan—more by watching and observing than anythingelse as my Japanese was too limited to have any deep talks
with him. Most of my reflections would take too long to put
into one essay, and a lot of them would be hard to put intowords anyway (or would be inappropriate to discuss as theycame about by observing different instructors here, and I
don’t feel it’s right to compare and contrast teachers in a
public forum like this). However, perhaps the biggest thingthat sticks out to me about Soshihan, andone of the larger ideas I picked up here issomething I can share.
Part of Soshihan’s great success andpart of why so many of his students andthose who’ve met him deeply respect andcare about him is that he is humble, caring,and he is truly himself. He does not put onairs or act like he’s above everyone. On
the contrary, he is friendly with everyonein the dojo, he throws and is thrown by thelowest rank, and though everyone knows that he’s Soshihan, he feels like he’s
practicing Aikido and sharing his joy and skill with you rather than standing above
you and teaching down to you.
Other Sensei of higher rank in many places in the world will still work withanyone, but they do so in a way that shows how far above they are; they intentionallycreate a gap so that their rank and authority is always on display, and they makecertain no one ever forgets their position. These Sensei create very vertical
relationships founded on rank and hierarchy.
What I find funny is that Soshihan, by not emphasizing rank and hierarchy isactually more successful at having people respect him than those that demand respect
through a vertical system. The reason is that a vertical system demands respect
because of the way that it’s built. The structure and ranking is the reason that people
are supposed to give their respect. However, creating such a system makes many
people actually resent the people at the top instead of respecting them. This is largely
due to the fact that actual respect that is sincere and from the heart comes with time,
trust, and relationships—all things that Soshihan freely gives—not from a system thatdemands respect. A system that demands respect creates fake respect on the outsideof a person in the way they behave, but it usually creates disrespect and conflict intheir hearts. On the flip side, when a person like Soshihan lives a sincere life, theirtime, devotion, and skill become evident. When he trains with you and you feel his
joy and that he’s living what he believes, you find yourself respecting him in yourheart even though he hasn’t demanded it. In fact, your desire to respect what he isand does even makes your respect result in actions on the outside. It’s the way that atrue uchideshi program should operate. By getting to know
someone and train with them, an uchideshi develops trust
and respect for the person and does all of their work because
they want to. In fact, they may even go out of their way to
do more just because their respect is genuine. Other
programs in other places that simply demand respect andobedience because of how the system is built may befunctional on the outside, but inside of the people’s hearts
they are dysfunctional.
Soshihan’s humility has also allowed him to become atremendous bridge and connector of people in the Aikido

world. By being humble and living his life
sincerely, he has earned the respect ofmany people from many different groups,
some of which would not normally work
together and some of whom may not workwith any other groups. If he demanded
loyalty due to his rank and seniority, hewould have it—but from far less people.
By being humble and making no demands
but living what he believed, he has earned
respect and loyalty from many more.
This lesson is an important one, and it gives me some hope for how I run mydojo and how I teach. I have been told by students from other places that I feel lessSensei-like than other Sensei who have taught workshops or intensives for them, butthey say it’s a good thing. They feel like I’m real and approachable and like they canrelate with me and ask me questions, whereas the other Sensei are too far above themfor them to be able to talk to. On one hand, I liked that they were comfortable, but on
the other, I worried that maybe I was being too casual or that I wasn’t being
professional enough. In the past, I’d been told that I may need to create more of a
gap between myself and my students to prevent disrespect from being a problem inthe dojo, even though there is no disrespect problem occurring at this time. Ironically,
through reflecting on what Soshihan does right, I now know that creating more of a
gap would have actually created a disrespect problem that was never there.
Soshihan’s strong example of effectively leading as someone who is humble
and casual makes me feel much better about how I teach and my leadership style,when previously I was conflicted. Soshihan’s life, sincerity, and above all hishumility and caring heart will always be an inspiration and a good example to me—I
have so much more growing to do! I wish him many more healthy years in his
beloved dojo community, and I was honored to be part of it for five short-and longweeks.