Chapter 1

BILL’S STORYW

ar fever ran high in the New England town
to which we new, young officers from Plattsburg were assigned, and we were flattered when thefirst citizens took us to their homes, making us feelheroic. Here was love, applause, war; moments sublime with intervals hilarious. I was part of life at last,and in the midst of the excitement I discovered liquor.
I forgot the strong warnings and the prejudices of mypeople concerning drink. In time we sailed for “Over
There.’’ I was very lonely and again turned to alcohol.
We landed in England. I visited Winchester Cathedral. Much moved, I wandered outside. My attention
was caught by a doggerel on an old tombstone:“Here lies a Hampshire GrenadierWho caught his death
Drinking cold small beer.
A good soldier is ne’er forgot
Whether he dieth by musket
Or by pot.”

Ominous warning—which I failed to heed.
Twenty-two, and a veteran of foreign wars, I went
home at last. I fancied myself a leader, for had not themen of my battery given me a special token of appreciation? My talent for leadership, I imagined, would
place me at the head of vast enterprises which I would
manage with the utmost assurance.
1

2

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS

I took a night law course, and obtained employment
as investigator for a surety company. The drive forsuccess was on. I’d prove to the world I was important. My work took me about Wall Street and little bylittle I became interested in the market. Many people
lost money—but some became very rich. Why not I?
I studied economics and business as well as law. Potential alcoholic that I was, I nearly failed my law
course. At one of the finals I was too drunk to think or
write. Though my drinking was not yet continuous, it
disturbed my wife. We had long talks when I would
still her forebodings by telling her that men of geniusconceived their best projects when drunk; that themost majestic constructions of philosophic thought
were so derived.
By the time I had completed the course, I knew thelaw was not for me. The inviting maelstrom of WallStreet had me in its grip. Business and financial leaders were my heroes. Out of this alloy of drink andspeculation, I commenced to forge the weapon that
one day would turn in its flight like a boomerang andall but cut me to ribbons. Living modestly, my wifeand I saved $1,000. It went into certain securities,
then cheap and rather unpopular. I rightly imaginedthat they would some day have a great rise. I failed topersuade my broker friends to send me out looking
over factories and managements, but my wife and I decided to go anyway. I had developed a theory thatmost people lost money in stocks through ignoranceof markets. I discovered many more reasons later on.
We gave up our positions and off we roared on a
motorcycle, the sidecar stuffed with tent, blankets, achange of clothes, and three huge volumes of a finan-

3
cial reference service. Our friends thought a lunacy
commission should be appointed. Perhaps they wereright. I had had some success at speculation, so we
had a little money, but we once worked on a farm fora month to avoid drawing on our small capital. That
was the last honest manual labor on my part for manya day. We covered the whole eastern United States ina year. At the end of it, my reports to Wall Street
procured me a position there and the use of a large expense account. The exercise of an option brought inmore money, leaving us with a profit of several thousand dollars for that year.
For the next few years fortune threw money and applause my way. I had arrived. My judgment andideas were followed by many to the tune of paper millions. The great boom of the late twenties was seething and swelling. Drink was taking an important andexhilarating part in my life. There was loud talk in
the jazz places uptown. Everyone spent in thousandsand chattered in millions. Scoffers could scoff and bedamned. I made a host of fair-weather friends.
My drinking assumed more serious proportions, continuing all day and almost every night. The remonstrances of my friends terminated in a row and I
became a lone wolf. There were many unhappy scenes
in our sumptuous apartment. There had been no real
infidelity, for loyalty to my wife, helped at times byextreme drunkenness, kept me out of those scrapes.
In 1929 I contracted golf fever. We went at once
to the country, my wife to applaud while I started out
to overtake Walter Hagen. Liquor caught up with memuch faster than I came up behind Walter. I began
to be jittery in the morning. Golf permitted drinking
BILL’S STORY

4
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS
every day and every night. It was fun to carom aroundthe exclusive course which had inspired such awe inme as a lad. I acquired the impeccable coat of tan
one sees upon the well-to-do. The local banker
watched me whirl fat checks in and out of his till withamused skepticism.
Abruptly in October 1929 hell broke loose on the
New York stock exchange. After one of those days ofinferno, I wobbled from a hotel bar to a brokerage
office. It was eight o’clock—five hours after the market
closed. The ticker still clattered. I was staring at aninch of the tape which bore the inscription XYZ-32. It
had been 52 that morning. I was finished and so weremany friends. The papers reported men jumping todeath from the towers of High Finance. That disgusted me. I would not jump. I went back to the bar.
My friends had dropped several million since teno’clock—so what? Tomorrow was another day. As I
drank, the old fierce determination to win came back.
Next morning I telephoned a friend in Montreal.
He had plenty of money left and thought I had bettergo to Canada. By the following spring we were living
in our accustomed style. I felt like Napoleon returningfrom Elba. No St. Helena for me! But drinking caught
up with me again and my generous friend had to letme go. This time we stayed broke.
We went to live with my wife’s parents. I found ajob; then lost it as the result of a brawl with a taxi
driver. Mercifully, no one could guess that I was tohave no real employment for five years, or hardly drawa sober breath. My wife began to work in a department store, coming home exhausted to find me drunk.

5
I became an unwelcome hanger-on at brokerageplaces.
Liquor ceased to be a luxury; it became a necessity.
“Bathtub’’ gin, two bottles a day, and often three, got
to be routine. Sometimes a small deal would net a few
hundred dollars, and I would pay my bills at the bars
and delicatessens. This went on endlessly, and I began
to waken very early in the morning shaking violently.
A tumbler full of gin followed by half a dozen bottles
of beer would be required if I were to eat any breakfast. Nevertheless, I still thought I could control thesituation, and there were periods of sobriety which
renewed my wife’s hope.
Gradually things got worse. The house was takenover by the mortgage holder, my mother-in-law died,
my wife and father-in-law became ill.
Then I got a promising business opportunity. Stocks
were at the low point of 1932, and I had somehow
formed a group to buy. I was to share generously inthe profits. Then I went on a prodigious bender, andthat chance vanished.
I woke up. This had to be stopped. I saw I could
not take so much as one drink. I was through forever.
Before then, I had written lots of sweet promises, but
my wife happily observed that this time I meant business. And so I did.
Shortly afterward I came home drunk. There had
been no fight. Where had been my high resolve? I
simply didn’t know. It hadn’t even come to mind.
Someone had pushed a drink my way, and I had taken
it. Was I crazy? I began to wonder, for such an appalling lack of perspective seemed near being just that.
Renewing my resolve, I tried again. Some time
BILL’S STORY

6
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS
passed, and confidence began to be replaced by cocksureness. I could laugh at the gin mills. Now I had
what it takes! One day I walked into a cafe to telephone. In no time I was beating on the bar asking myself how it happened. As the whisky rose to my head
I told myself I would manage better next time, but I
might as well get good and drunk then. And I did.
The remorse, horror and hopelessness of the nextmorning are unforgettable. The courage to do battle
was not there. My brain raced uncontrollably andthere was a terrible sense of impending calamity. I
hardly dared cross the street, lest I collapse and be run
down by an early morning truck, for it was scarcely
daylight. An all night place supplied me with a dozen
glasses of ale. My writhing nerves were stilled at last.
A morning paper told me the market had gone to hell
again. Well, so had I. The market would recover, but
I wouldn’t. That was a hard thought. Should I killmyself? No—not now. Then a mental fog settled
down. Gin would fix that. So two bottles, and—oblivion.
The mind and body are marvelous mechanisms, formine endured this agony two more years. Sometimes
I stole from my wife’s slender purse when the morning
terror and madness were on me. Again I swayed dizzily before an open window, or the medicine cabinet
where there was poison, cursing myself for a weakling.
There were flights from city to country and back, as
my wife and I sought escape. Then came the night
when the physical and mental torture was so hellish I
feared I would burst through my window, sash andall. Somehow I managed to drag my mattress to alower floor, lest I suddenly leap. A doctor came with7
a heavy sedative. Next day found me drinking both
gin and sedative. This combination soon landed meon the rocks. People feared for my sanity. So did I.
I could eat little or nothing when drinking, and I wasforty pounds under weight.
My brother-in-law is a physician, and through hiskindness and that of my mother I was placed in a nationally-known hospital for the mental and physicalrehabilitation of alcoholics. Under the so-called belladonna treatment my brain cleared. Hydrotherapy andmild exercise helped much. Best of all, I met a kind
doctor who explained that though certainly selfish andfoolish, I had been seriously ill, bodily and mentally.
It relieved me somewhat to learn that in alcoholics
the will is amazingly weakened when it comes to combating liquor, though it often remains strong in otherrespects. My incredible behavior in the face of adesperate desire to stop was explained. Understanding myself now, I fared forth in high hope. For threeor four months the goose hung high. I went to town
regularly and even made a little money. Surely thiswas the answer—self-knowledge.
But it was not, for the frightful day came when I
drank once more. The curve of my declining moral
and bodily health fell off like a ski-jump. After a time
I returned to the hospital. This was the finish, the curtain, it seemed to me. My weary and despairing wife
was informed that it would all end with heart failure
during delirium tremens, or I would develop a wet
brain, perhaps within a year. She would soon have togive me over to the undertaker or the asylum.
They did not need to tell me. I knew, and almost
welcomed the idea. It was a devastating blow to my
BILL’S STORY

8
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS
pride. I, who had thought so well of myself and myabilities, of my capacity to surmount obstacles, wascornered at last. Now I was to plunge into the dark,
joining that endless procession of sots who had goneon before. I thought of my poor wife. There had beenmuch happiness after all. What would I not give to
make amends. But that was over now.
No words can tell of the loneliness and despair I
found in that bitter morass of self-pity. Quicksand
stretched around me in all directions. I had met mymatch. I had been overwhelmed. Alcohol was mymaster.
Trembling, I stepped from the hospital a brokenman. Fear sobered me for a bit. Then came the insidious insanity of that first drink, and on Armistice Day
1934, I was off again. Everyone became resigned tothe certainty that I would have to be shut up somewhere, or would stumble along to a miserable end.
How dark it is before the dawn! In reality that was
the beginning of my last debauch. I was soon to becatapulted into what I like to call the fourth dimensionof existence. I was to know happiness, peace, andusefulness, in a way of life that is incredibly morewonderful as time passes.
Near the end of that bleak November, I sat drinking
in my kitchen. With a certain satisfaction I reflected
there was enough gin concealed about the house to
carry me through that night and the next day. My
wife was at work. I wondered whether I dared hide afull bottle of gin near the head of our bed. I would
need it before daylight.
My musing was interrupted by the telephone. The
cheery voice of an old school friend asked if he might9come over. He was sober. It was years since I could remember his coming to New York in that condition. I
was amazed. Rumor had it that he had been committed for alcoholic insanity. I wondered how he had escaped. Of course he would have dinner, and then I
could drink openly with him. Unmindful of his welfare, I thought only of recapturing the spirit of otherdays. There was that time we had chartered an airplane to complete a jag! His coming was an oasis in
this dreary desert of futility. The very thing—an oasis!
Drinkers are like that.
The door opened and he stood there, fresh-skinned
and glowing. There was something about his eyes. He
was inexplicably different. What had happened?
I pushed a drink across the table. He refused it.
Disappointed but curious, I wondered what had got
into the fellow. He wasn’t himself.
“Come, what’s all this about?’’ I queried.
He looked straight at me. Simply, but smilingly, hesaid, “I’ve got religion.’’
I was aghast. So that was it—last summer an alcoholic crackpot; now, I suspected, a little cracked about
religion. He had that starry-eyed look. Yes, the oldboy was on fire all right. But bless his heart, let him
rant! Besides, my gin would last longer than his
preaching.
But he did no ranting. In a matter of fact way hetold how two men had appeared in court, persuading
the judge to suspend his commitment. They had toldof a simple religious idea and a practical program ofaction. That was two months ago and the result was
self-evident. It worked!
He had come to pass his experience along to me—if
BILL’S STORY

10
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS
I cared to have it. I was shocked, but interested. Certainly I was interested. I had to be, for I was hopeless.
He talked for hours. Childhood memories rose before me. I could almost hear the sound of the preacher’s voice as I sat, on still Sundays, way over there on
the hillside; there was that proffered temperance
pledge I never signed; my grandfather’s good natured
contempt of some church folk and their doings; his
insistence that the spheres really had their music; but
his denial of the preacher’s right to tell him how hemust listen; his fearlessness as he spoke of these things
just before he died; these recollections welled up fromthe past. They made me swallow hard.
That war-time day in old Winchester Cathedralcame back again.
I had always believed in a Power greater than myself. I had often pondered these things. I was not an
atheist. Few people really are, for that means blind
faith in the strange proposition that this universe originated in a cipher and aimlessly rushes nowhere. My
intellectual heroes, the chemists, the astronomers, eventhe evolutionists, suggested vast laws and forces atwork. Despite contrary indications, I had little doubtthat a mighty purpose and rhythm underlay all. How
could there be so much of precise and immutable law,and no intelligence? I simply had to believe in a Spiritof the Universe, who knew neither time nor limitation.
But that was as far as I had gone.
With ministers, and the world’s religions, I parted
right there. When they talked of a God personal tome, who was love, superhuman strength and direction,
I became irritated and my mind snapped shut against
such a theory.

11
To Christ I conceded the certainty of a great man,not too closely followed by those who claimed Him.
His moral teaching—most excellent. For myself, I had
adopted those parts which seemed convenient and not
too difficult; the rest I disregarded.
The wars which had been fought, the burnings andchicanery that religious dispute had facilitated, mademe sick. I honestly doubted whether, on balance, thereligions of mankind had done any good. Judging
from what I had seen in Europe and since, the powerof God in human affairs was negligible, the Brotherhood of Man a grim jest. If there was a Devil, heseemed the Boss Universal, and he certainly had me.
But my friend sat before me, and he made the pointblank declaration that God had done for him what hecould not do for himself. His human will had failed.
Doctors had pronounced him incurable. Society was
about to lock him up. Like myself, he had admitted
complete defeat. Then he had, in effect, been raised
from the dead, suddenly taken from the scrap heap to
a level of life better than the best he had ever known!
Had this power originated in him? Obviously it had
not. There had been no more power in him than there
was in me at that minute; and this was none at all.
That floored me. It began to look as though religious people were right after all. Here was somethingat work in a human heart which had done the impossible. My ideas about miracles were drastically revised
right then. Never mind the musty past; here sat amiracle directly across the kitchen table. He shouted
great tidings.
I saw that my friend was much more than inwardly
BILL’S STORY

12
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS
reorganized. He was on a different footing. His roots
grasped a new soil.
Despite the living example of my friend there remained in me the vestiges of my old prejudice. The
word God still aroused a certain antipathy. When thethought was expressed that there might be a God personal to me this feeling was intensified. I didn’t likethe idea. I could go for such conceptions as Creative
Intelligence, Universal Mind or Spirit of Nature but I
resisted the thought of a Czar of the Heavens, however
loving His sway might be. I have since talked withscores of men who felt the same way.
My friend suggested what then seemed a novel idea.
He said, “Why don’t you choose your own conceptionof God?’’That statement hit me hard. It melted the icy intellectual mountain in whose shadow I had lived andshivered many years. I stood in the sunlight at last.
It was only a matter of being willing to believe in a
Power greater than myself. Nothing more was requiredof me to make my beginning. I saw that growth could
start from that point. Upon a foundation of complete
willingness I might build what I saw in my friend.
Would I have it? Of course I would!
Thus was I convinced that God is concerned with us
humans when we want Him enough. At long last I
saw, I felt, I believed. Scales of pride and prejudice
fell from my eyes. A new world came into view.
The real significance of my experience in the Cathedral burst upon me. For a brief moment, I had needed
and wanted God. There had been a humble willingness to have Him with me—and He came. But soon
the sense of His presence had been blotted out by

13
worldly clamors, mostly those within myself. And soit had been ever since. How blind I had been.
At the hospital I was separated from alcohol for thelast time. Treatment seemed wise, for I showed signsof delirium tremens.
There I humbly offered myself to God, as I thenunderstood Him, to do with me as He would. I placed
myself unreservedly under His care and direction. I
admitted for the first time that of myself I was nothing; that without Him I was lost. I ruthlessly faced mysins and became willing to have my new-found Friend
take them away, root and branch. I have not had adrink since.
My schoolmate visited me, and I fully acquainted
him with my problems and deficiencies. We made alist of people I had hurt or toward whom I felt resentment. I expressed my entire willingness to approachthese individuals, admitting my wrong. Never was I
to be critical of them. I was to right all such mattersto the utmost of my ability.
I was to test my thinking by the new God-consciousness within. Common sense would thus become uncommon sense. I was to sit quietly when in doubt,
asking only for direction and strength to meet myproblems as He would have me. Never was I to pray
for myself, except as my requests bore on my usefulness to others. Then only might I expect to receive.
But that would be in great measure.
My friend promised when these things were done I
would enter upon a new relationship with my Creator;that I would have the elements of a way of living
which answered all my problems. Belief in the powerof God, plus enough willingness, honesty and humility
BILL’S STORY

14
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS
to establish and maintain the new order of things, werethe essential requirements.
Simple, but not easy; a price had to be paid. It
meant destruction of self-centeredness. I must turnin all things to the Father of Light who presides overus all.
These were revolutionary and drastic proposals, but
the moment I fully accepted them, the effect was electric. There was a sense of victory, followed by such apeace and serenity as I had never known. There wasutter confidence. I felt lifted up, as though the greatclean wind of a mountain top blew through andthrough. God comes to most men gradually, but His
impact on me was sudden and profound.
For a moment I was alarmed, and called my friend,
the doctor, to ask if I were still sane. He listened inwonder as I talked.
Finally he shook his head saying, “Something has
happened to you I don’t understand. But you had
better hang on to it. Anything is better than the way
you were.” The good doctor now sees many men who
have such experiences. He knows that they are real.
While I lay in the hospital the thought came that
there were thousands of hopeless alcoholics who might
be glad to have what had been so freely given me.
Perhaps I could help some of them. They in turnmight work with others.
My friend had emphasized the absolute necessity ofdemonstrating these principles in all my affairs. Particularly was it imperative to work with others as hehad worked with me. Faith without works was dead,he said. And how appallingly true for the alcoholic!
For if an alcoholic failed to perfect and enlarge his

15spiritual life through work and self-sacrifice for others,
he could not survive the certain trials and low spots
ahead. If he did not work, he would surely drink
again, and if he drank, he would surely die. Then faithwould be dead indeed. With us it is just like that.
My wife and I abandoned ourselves with enthusiasm to the idea of helping other alcoholics to a solutionof their problems. It was fortunate, for my old business associates remained skeptical for a year and ahalf, during which I found little work. I was not too
well at the time, and was plagued by waves of selfpity and resentment. This sometimes nearly drove meback to drink, but I soon found that when all othermeasures failed, work with another alcoholic would
save the day. Many times I have gone to my old hospital in despair. On talking to a man there, I would beamazingly lifted up and set on my feet. It is a designfor living that works in rough going.
We commenced to make many fast friends and a fellowship has grown up among us of which it is a wonderful thing to feel a part. The joy of living we really
have, even under pressure and difficulty. I have seen
hundreds of families set their feet in the path thatreally goes somewhere; have seen the most impossible
domestic situations righted; feuds and bitterness of allsorts wiped out. I have seen men come out of asylums
and resume a vital place in the lives of their families
and communities. Business and professional men haveregained their standing. There is scarcely any form oftrouble and misery which has not been overcome
among us. In one western city and its environs there
are one thousand of us and our families. We meet frequently so that newcomers may find the fellowship
BILL’S STORY

16
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS
they seek. At these informal gatherings one may often
see from 50 to 200 persons. We are growing in numbers and power.*
An alcoholic in his cups is an unlovely creature.
Our struggles with them are variously strenuous,
comic, and tragic. One poor chap committed suicide
in my home. He could not, or would not, see our wayof life.
There is, however, a vast amount of fun about it all.
I suppose some would be shocked at our seeming
worldliness and levity. But just underneath there isdeadly earnestness. Faith has to work twenty-fourhours a day in and through us, or we perish.
Most of us feel we need look no further for Utopia.
We have it with us right here and now. Each day myfriend’s simple talk in our kitchen multiplies itself ina widening circle of peace on earth and good will tomen.

Bill W., co-founder of A.A.,
died January 24, 1971.

*In 2006, A.A. is composed of over 106,000 groups.

Alco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 17

Chapter 2

THERE IS A SOLUTION

W

e, of ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, know
thousands of men and women who were once
just as hopeless as Bill. Nearly all have recovered.
They have solved the drink problem.
We are average Americans. All sections of thiscountry and many of its occupations are represented,
as well as many political, economic, social, and reli­gious backgrounds. We are people who normally
would not mix. But there exists among us a fellowship,a friendliness, and an understanding which is inde­
scribably wonderful. We are like the passengers of agreat liner the moment after rescue from shipwreck
when camaraderie, joyousness and democracy pervade
the vessel from steerage to Captain’s table. Unlike thefeelings of the ship’s passengers, however, our joy inescape from disaster does not subside as we go our in­dividual ways. The feeling of having shared in a com­mon peril is one element in the powerful cement
which binds us. But that in itself would never haveheld us together as we are now joined.
The tremendous fact for every one of us is that wehave discovered a common solution. We have a way
out on which we can absolutely agree, and upon which
we can join in brotherly and harmonious action. Thisis the great news this book carries to those who sufferfrom alcoholism.
17

Alco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 18

18

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS

An illness of this sort—and we have come to believe
it an illness—involves those about us in a way no otherhuman sickness can. If a person has cancer all aresorry for him and no one is angry or hurt. But not sowith the alcoholic illness, for with it there goes anni­
hilation of all the things worth while in life. It engulfs
all whose lives touch the sufferer’s. It brings misun­
derstanding, ﬁerce resentment, ﬁnancial insecurity,
disgusted friends and employers, warped lives ofblameless children, sad wives and parents—anyone
can increase the list.
We hope this volume will inform and comfort those
who are, or who may be affected. There are many.
Highly competent psychiatrists who have dealt withus have found it sometimes impossible to persuade an
alcoholic to discuss his situation without reserve.
Strangely enough, wives, parents and intimate friends
usually ﬁnd us even more unapproachable than do thepsychiatrist and the doctor.
But the ex-problem drinker who has found this solu­
tion, who is properly armed with facts about himself,
can generally win the entire conﬁdence of another al­coholic in a few hours. Until such an understanding
is reached, little or nothing can be accomplished.
That the man who is making the approach has had
the same difﬁculty, that he obviously knows what he istalking about, that his whole deportment shouts at the
new prospect that he is a man with a real answer, that
he has no attitude of Holier Than Thou, nothing what­ever except the sincere desire to be helpful; that there
are no fees to pay, no axes to grind, no people toplease, no lectures to be endured—these are the condi­

Alco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 19

19
tions we have found most effective. After such an ap­
proach many take up their beds and walk again.
None of us makes a sole vocation of this work, nor
do we think its effectiveness would be increased if wedid. We feel that elimination of our drinking is but
a beginning. A much more important demonstrationof our principles lies before us in our respective homes,
occupations and affairs. All of us spend much of ourspare time in the sort of effort which we are going todescribe. A few are fortunate enough to be so situatedthat they can give nearly all their time to the work.
If we keep on the way we are going there is little
doubt that much good will result, but the surface ofthe problem would hardly be scratched. Those of us
who live in large cities are overcome by the reﬂectionthat close by hundreds are dropping into oblivion
every day. Many could recover if they had the oppor­
tunity we have enjoyed. How then shall we present
that which has been so freely given us?
We have concluded to publish an anonymous vol­ume setting forth the problem as we see it. We shallbring to the task our combined experience and knowl­edge. This should suggest a useful program for any­
one concerned with a drinking problem.
Of necessity there will have to be discussion ofmatters medical, psychiatric, social, and religious. We
are aware that these matters are, from their very na­ture, controversial. Nothing would please us so muchas to write a book which would contain no basis forcontention or argument. We shall do our utmost toachieve that ideal. Most of us sense that real toleranceof other people’s shortcomings and viewpoints and arespect for their opinions are attitudes which make us
THERE IS A SOLUTION

Alco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 20

20
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS
more useful to others. Our very lives, as ex-problem
drinkers, depend upon our constant thought of others
and how we may help meet their needs.
You may already have asked yourself why it is that
all of us became so very ill from drinking. Doubtless
you are curious to discover how and why, in the faceof expert opinion to the contrary, we have recoveredfrom a hopeless condition of mind and body. If you
are an alcoholic who wants to get over it, you may
already be asking—“What do I have to do?’’
It is the purpose of this book to answer such ques­
tions speciﬁcally. We shall tell you what we havedone. Before going into a detailed discussion, it may
be well to summarize some points as we see them.
How many times people have said to us: “I can takeit or leave it alone. Why can’t he?’’ “Why don’t you
drink like a gentleman or quit?’’ “That fellow can’t
handle his liquor.’’ “Why don’t you try beer andwine?’’ “Lay off the hard stuff.’’ “His will power must
be weak.’’ “He could stop if he wanted to.’’ “She’s
such a sweet girl, I should think he’d stop for her
sake.’’ “The doctor told him that if he ever drankagain it would kill him, but there he is all lit up again.’’Now these are commonplace observations on drink­ers which we hear all the time. Back of them is aworld of ignorance and misunderstanding. We seethat these expressions refer to people whose reactions
are very different from ours.
Moderate drinkers have little trouble in giving up
liquor entirely if they have good reason for it. They
can take it or leave it alone.
Then we have a certain type of hard drinker. He
may have the habit badly enough to gradually impair

Alco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 21

21
him physically and mentally. It may cause him to diea few years before his time. If a sufﬁciently strong reason—ill health, falling in love, change of environment,or the warning of a doctor—becomes operative, thisman can also stop or moderate, although he may ﬁnd
it difﬁcult and troublesome and may even need med­
ical attention.
But what about the real alcoholic? He may start off
as a moderate drinker; he may or may not become acontinuous hard drinker; but at some stage of his
drinking career he begins to lose all control of his
liquor consumption, once he starts to drink.
Here is the fellow who has been puzzling you, espe­
cially in his lack of control. He does absurd, incredi­ble, tragic things while drinking. He is a real Dr.
Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. He is seldom mildly intoxicated.
He is always more or less insanely drunk. His disposi­tion while drinking resembles his normal nature but
little. He may be one of the ﬁnest fellows in the world.
Yet let him drink for a day, and he frequently becomesdisgustingly, and even dangerously anti-social. He has
a positive genius for getting tight at exactly the wrong
moment, particularly when some important decisionmust be made or engagement kept. He is often per­fectly sensible and well balanced concerning every­
thing except liquor, but in that respect he is incredibly
dishonest and selﬁsh. He often possesses special abili­ties, skills, and aptitudes, and has a promising careerahead of him. He uses his gifts to build up a brightoutlook for his family and himself, and then pulls the
structure down on his head by a senseless series ofsprees. He is the fellow who goes to bed so intoxicatedhe ought to sleep the clock around. Yet early next
THERE IS A SOLUTION

Alco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 22

22
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS
morning he searches madly for the bottle he misplaced
the night before. If he can afford it, he may haveliquor concealed all over his house to be certain no
one gets his entire supply away from him to throw
down the wastepipe. As matters grow worse, he be­gins to use a combination of high-powered sedativeand liquor to quiet his nerves so he can go to work.
Then comes the day when he simply cannot make it
and gets drunk all over again. Perhaps he goes to adoctor who gives him morphine or some sedative withwhich to taper off. Then he begins to appear at hos­pitals and sanitariums.
This is by no means a comprehensive picture of thetrue alcoholic, as our behavior patterns vary. But thisdescription should identify him roughly.
Why does he behave like this? If hundreds of ex­periences have shown him that one drink means an­other debacle with all its attendant suffering andhumiliation, why is it he takes that one drink? Why
can’t he stay on the water wagon? What has becomeof the common sense and will power that he still some­times displays with respect to other matters?
Perhaps there never will be a full answer to thesequestions. Opinions vary considerably as to why thealcoholic reacts differently from normal people. We
are not sure why, once a certain point is reached, little
can be done for him. We cannot answer the riddle.
We know that while the alcoholic keeps away fromdrink, as he may do for months or years, he reacts
much like other men. We are equally positive thatonce he takes any alcohol whatever into his system,
something happens, both in the bodily and mental
sense, which makes it virtually impossible for him toAlco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 23

23
stop. The experience of any alcoholic will abundantly
conﬁrm this.
These observations would be academic and point­
less if our friend never took the ﬁrst drink, thereby
setting the terrible cycle in motion. Therefore, themain problem of the alcoholic centers in his mind,
rather than in his body. If you ask him why he started
on that last bender, the chances are he will offer you
any one of a hundred alibis. Sometimes these excuseshave a certain plausibility, but none of them reallymakes sense in the light of the havoc an alcoholic’s
drinking bout creates. They sound like the philosophyof the man who, having a headache, beats himself on
the head with a hammer so that he can’t feel the ache.
If you draw this fallacious reasoning to the attentionof an alcoholic, he will laugh it off, or become irri­tated and refuse to talk.
Once in a while he may tell the truth. And thetruth, strange to say, is usually that he has no moreidea why he took that ﬁrst drink than you have. Somedrinkers have excuses with which they are satisﬁed
part of the time. But in their hearts they really do notknow why they do it. Once this malady has a realhold, they are a bafﬂed lot. There is the obsession thatsomehow, someday, they will beat the game. But theyoften suspect they are down for the count.
How true this is, few realize. In a vague way theirfamilies and friends sense that these drinkers are ab­
normal, but everybody hopefully awaits the day when
the sufferer will rouse himself from his lethargy andassert his power of will.
The tragic truth is that if the man be a real alco­
holic, the happy day may not arrive. He has lost
THERE IS A SOLUTION

Alco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 24

24
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS
control. At a certain point in the drinking of every
alcoholic, he passes into a state where the most power­
ful desire to stop drinking is of absolutely no avail.
This tragic situation has already arrived in practicallyevery case long before it is suspected.
The fact is that most alcoholics, for reasons yet ob­
scure, have lost the power of choice in drink. Our socalled will power becomes practically nonexistent.
We are unable, at certain times, to bring into our con­sciousness with sufﬁcient force the memory of the suf­
fering and humiliation of even a week or a month ago.
We are without defense against the ﬁrst drink.
The almost certain consequences that follow taking
even a glass of beer do not crowd into the mind to
deter us. If these thoughts occur, they are hazy andreadily supplanted with the old threadbare idea that
this time we shall handle ourselves like other people.
There is a complete failure of the kind of defense thatkeeps one from putting his hand on a hot stove.
The alcoholic may say to himself in the most casual
way, “It won’t burn me this time, so here’s how!’’ Or
perhaps he doesn’t think at all. How often have someof us begun to drink in this nonchalant way, and after
the third or fourth, pounded on the bar and said toourselves, “For God’s sake, how did I ever get started
again?’’ Only to have that thought supplanted by“Well, I’ll stop with the sixth drink.’’ Or “What’s theuse anyhow?’’
When this sort of thinking is fully established in an
individual with alcoholic tendencies, he has probably
placed himself beyond human aid, and unless locked
up, may die or go permanently insane. These starkand ugly facts have been conﬁrmed by legions of alco­

Alco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 25

25
holics throughout history. But for the grace of God,
there would have been thousands more convincing
demonstrations. So many want to stop but cannot.
There is a solution. Almost none of us liked the selfsearching, the leveling of our pride, the confession ofshortcomings which the process requires for its suc­cessful consummation. But we saw that it really
worked in others, and we had come to believe in thehopelessness and futility of life as we had been living
it. When, therefore, we were approached by those inwhom the problem had been solved, there was nothingleft for us but to pick up the simple kit of spiritual
tools laid at our feet. We have found much of heaven
and we have been rocketed into a fourth dimension ofexistence of which we had not even dreamed.
The great fact is just this, and nothing less: That wehave had deep and effective spiritual experiences*which have revolutionized our whole attitude toward
life, toward our fellows and toward God’s universe.
The central fact of our lives today is the absolute cer­tainty that our Creator has entered into our hearts andlives in a way which is indeed miraculous. He hascommenced to accomplish those things for us which
we could never do by ourselves.
If you are as seriously alcoholic as we were, we
believe there is no middle-of-the-road solution. We werein a position where life was becoming impossible, andif we had passed into the region from which there is
no return through human aid, we had but two alterna­
tives: One was to go on to the bitter end, blotting out
the consciousness of our intolerable situation as best
we could; and the other, to accept spiritual help. This
THERE IS A SOLUTION*Fully explained—Appendix II.

Alco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 26

26
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS
we did because we honestly wanted to, and were will­
ing to make the effort.
A certain American business man had ability, good
sense, and high character. For years he had ﬂounderedfrom one sanitarium to another. He had consulted thebest known American psychiatrists. Then he had goneto Europe, placing himself in the care of a celebrated
physician (the psychiatrist, Dr. Jung) who prescribedfor him. Though experience had made him skeptical,
he ﬁnished his treatment with unusual conﬁdence.
His physical and mental condition were unusually
good. Above all, he believed he had acquired such a
profound knowledge of the inner workings of his mind
and its hidden springs that relapse was unthinkable.
Nevertheless, he was drunk in a short time. Morebafﬂing still, he could give himself no satisfactory ex­
planation for his fall.
So he returned to this doctor, whom he admired,and asked him point-blank why he could not recover.
He wished above all things to regain self-control. He
seemed quite rational and well-balanced with respect
to other problems. Yet he had no control whatever
over alcohol. Why was this?
He begged the doctor to tell him the whole truth,and he got it. In the doctor’s judgment he was utterly
hopeless; he could never regain his position in society
and he would have to place himself under lock andkey or hire a bodyguard if he expected to live long.
That was a great physician’s opinion.
But this man still lives, and is a free man. He does
not need a bodyguard nor is he conﬁned. He can go
anywhere on this earth where other free men may goAlco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 27

27
without disaster, provided he remains willing to main­
tain a certain simple attitude.
Some of our alcoholic readers may think they can dowithout spiritual help. Let us tell you the rest of theconversation our friend had with his doctor.
The doctor said: “You have the mind of a chronic
alcoholic. I have never seen one single case recover,where that state of mind existed to the extent that it
does in you.’’ Our friend felt as though the gates ofhell had closed on him with a clang.
He said to the doctor, “Is there no exception?’’“Yes,’’ replied the doctor, “there is. Exceptions tocases such as yours have been occurring since earlytimes. Here and there, once in a while, alcoholics
have had what are called vital spiritual experiences.
To me these occurrences are phenomena. They ap­
pear to be in the nature of huge emotional displace­ments and rearrangements. Ideas, emotions, andattitudes which were once the guiding forces of the
lives of these men are suddenly cast to one side, and acompletely new set of conceptions and motives begin
to dominate them. In fact, I have been trying to
produce some such emotional rearrangement withinyou. With many individuals the methods which I em­
ployed are successful, but I have never been success­ful with an alcoholic of your description.”*Upon hearing this, our friend was somewhat re­lieved, for he reﬂected that, after all, he was a good
church member. This hope, however, was destroyedby the doctor’s telling him that while his religious
convictions were very good, in his case they did not
spell the necessary vital spiritual experience.
THERE IS A SOLUTION*For ampliﬁcation—see Appendix II.

Alco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 28

28

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS

Here was the terrible dilemma in which our friend
found himself when he had the extraordinary experi­ence, which as we have already told you, made him afree man.
We, in our turn, sought the same escape with all thedesperation of drowning men. What seemed at ﬁrst a
ﬂimsy reed, has proved to be the loving and powerful
hand of God. A new life has been given us or, if you
prefer, “a design for living’’ that really works.
The distinguished American psychologist, William
James, in his book “Varieties of Religious Experience,’’indicates a multitude of ways in which men have dis­covered God. We have no desire to convince anyone
that there is only one way by which faith can be ac­quired. If what we have learned and felt and seenmeans anything at all, it means that all of us, whatever
our race, creed, or color are the children of a living
Creator with whom we may form a relationship upon
simple and understandable terms as soon as we arewilling and honest enough to try. Those having reli­gious afﬁliations will ﬁnd here nothing disturbing totheir beliefs or ceremonies. There is no friction among
us over such matters.
We think it no concern of ours what religious bodies
our members identify themselves with as individuals.
This should be an entirely personal affair which eachone decides for himself in the light of past associations,or his present choice. Not all of us join religious
bodies, but most of us favor such memberships.
In the following chapter, there appears an explana­tion of alcoholism, as we understand it, then a chapter
addressed to the agnostic. Many who once were inthis class are now among our members. SurprisinglyAlco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 29

29
enough, we ﬁnd such convictions no great obstacle
to a spiritual experience.
Further on, clear-cut directions are given showing
how we recovered. These are followed by forty-two
personal experiences.
Each individual, in the personal stories, describes in
his own language and from his own point of view the
way he established his relationship with God. These
give a fair cross section of our membership and a clearcut idea of what has actually happened in their lives.
We hope no one will consider these self-revealing
accounts in bad taste. Our hope is that many alcoholic
men and women, desperately in need, will see thesepages, and we believe that it is only by fully disclos­ing ourselves and our problems that they will be
persuaded to say, “Yes, I am one of them too; I musthave this thing.”
THERE IS A SOLUTION

Chapter 3

MORE ABOUT ALCOHOLISM

M

ost of us have been unwilling to admit wewere real alcoholics. No person likes to think
he is bodily and mentally different from his fellows.
Therefore, it is not surprising that our drinking careers
have been characterized by countless vain attempts
to prove we could drink like other people. The ideathat somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his
drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal
drinker. The persistence of this illusion is astonishing.
Many pursue it into the gates of insanity or death.
We learned that we had to fully concede to our innermost selves that we were alcoholics. This is thefirst step in recovery. The delusion that we are likeother people, or presently may be, has to be smashed.
We alcoholics are men and women who have lostthe ability to control our drinking. We know that noreal alcoholic ever recovers control. All of us felt attimes that we were regaining control, but such intervals—usually brief—were inevitably followed by stillless control, which led in time to pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization. We are convinced to a manthat alcoholics of our type are in the grip of a progressive illness. Over any considerable period we getworse, never better.
We are like men who have lost their legs; they
never grow new ones. Neither does there appear to be
any kind of treatment which will make alcoholics of30

31
our kind like other men. We have tried every imaginable remedy. In some instances there has been brief
recovery, followed always by a still worse relapse.
Physicians who are familiar with alcoholism agree
there is no such thing as making a normal drinker outof an alcoholic. Science may one day accomplish this,but it hasn’t done so yet.
Despite all we can say, many who are real alcoholics
are not going to believe they are in that class. By
every form of self-deception and experimentation, they
will try to prove themselves exceptions to the rule,
therefore nonalcoholic. If anyone who is showing
inability to control his drinking can do the rightabout-face and drink like a gentleman, our hats are
off to him. Heaven knows, we have tried hard enoughand long enough to drink like other people!
Here are some of the methods we have tried: Drinking beer only, limiting the number of drinks, neverdrinking alone, never drinking in the morning, drinking only at home, never having it in the house, neverdrinking during business hours, drinking only atparties, switching from scotch to brandy, drinking
only natural wines, agreeing to resign if ever drunk on
the job, taking a trip, not taking a trip, swearing off
forever (with and without a solemn oath), taking more
physical exercise, reading inspirational books, goingto health farms and sanitariums, accepting voluntarycommitment to asylums—we could increase the list
ad infinitum.
We do not like to pronounce any individual as alcoholic, but you can quickly diagnose yourself. Step
over to the nearest barroom and try some controlled
drinking. Try to drink and stop abruptly. Try it
MORE ABOUT ALCOHOLISM

32
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS
more than once. It will not take long for you to decide, if you are honest with yourself about it. It may
be worth a bad case of jitters if you get a full knowledge of your condition.
Though there is no way of proving it, we believethat early in our drinking careers most of us could
have stopped drinking. But the difficulty is that few
alcoholics have enough desire to stop while there is
yet time. We have heard of a few instances where
people, who showed definite signs of alcoholism, wereable to stop for a long period because of an overpowering desire to do so. Here is one.
A man of thirty was doing a great deal of spree
drinking. He was very nervous in the morning after
these bouts and quieted himself with more liquor. He
was ambitious to succeed in business, but saw that hewould get nowhere if he drank at all. Once he started,he had no control whatever. He made up his mind
that until he had been successful in business and had
retired, he would not touch another drop. An exceptional man, he remained bone dry for twenty-fiveyears and retired at the age of fifty-five, after a successful and happy business career. Then he fell victim to a belief which practically every alcoholic has—that his long period of sobriety and self-discipline
had qualified him to drink as other men. Out came his
carpet slippers and a bottle. In two months he wasin a hospital, puzzled and humiliated. He tried toregulate his drinking for a while, making several trips
to the hospital meantime. Then, gathering all his
forces, he attempted to stop altogether and found hecould not. Every means of solving his problem which33
money could buy was at his disposal. Every attempt
failed. Though a robust man at retirement, he went
to pieces quickly and was dead within four years.
This case contains a powerful lesson. Most of us
have believed that if we remained sober for a long
stretch, we could thereafter drink normally. But here
is a man who at fifty-five years found he was justwhere he had left off at thirty. We have seen the truth
demonstrated again and again: “Once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic.’’ Commencing to drink after aperiod of sobriety, we are in a short time as bad as
ever. If we are planning to stop drinking, there must
be no reservation of any kind, nor any lurking notionthat someday we will be immune to alcohol.
Young people may be encouraged by this man’s experience to think that they can stop, as he did, on
their own will power. We doubt if many of them cando it, because none will really want to stop, and hardly
one of them, because of the peculiar mental twist already acquired, will find he can win out. Several of
our crowd, men of thirty or less, had been drinking
only a few years, but they found themselves as helpless as those who had been drinking twenty years.
To be gravely affected, one does not necessarily
have to drink a long time nor take the quantities
some of us have. This is particularly true of women.
Potential female alcoholics often turn into the realthing and are gone beyond recall in a few years.
Certain drinkers, who would be greatly insulted ifcalled alcoholics, are astonished at their inability tostop. We, who are familiar with the symptoms, seelarge numbers of potential alcoholics among young
MORE ABOUT ALCOHOLISM

34
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS
people everywhere. But try and get them to see it!*As we look back, we feel we had gone on drinking
many years beyond the point where we could quit on
our will power. If anyone questions whether he hasentered this dangerous area, let him try leaving liquoralone for one year. If he is a real alcoholic and very
far advanced, there is scant chance of success. In theearly days of our drinking we occasionally remained
sober for a year or more, becoming serious drinkers
again later. Though you may be able to stop for a considerable period, you may yet be a potential alcoholic.
We think few, to whom this book will appeal, can stay
dry anything like a year. Some will be drunk the day
after making their resolutions; most of them within a
few weeks.
For those who are unable to drink moderately thequestion is how to stop altogether. We are assuming,of course, that the reader desires to stop. Whether
such a person can quit upon a nonspiritual basis depends upon the extent to which he has already lostthe power to choose whether he will drink or not.
Many of us felt that we had plenty of character. There
was a tremendous urge to cease forever. Yet we foundit impossible. This is the baffling feature of alcoholism
as we know it—this utter inability to leave it alone,
no matter how great the necessity or the wish.
How then shall we help our readers determine, totheir own satisfaction, whether they are one of us?
The experiment of quitting for a period of time will
be helpful, but we think we can render an even greater
service to alcoholic sufferers and perhaps to the medi* True when this book was first published. But a 2003 U.S./Canada membership survey showed about one-fifth of A.A.’s were thirty and under.

35
cal fraternity. So we shall describe some of the mental
states that precede a relapse into drinking, for obviously this is the crux of the problem.
What sort of thinking dominates an alcoholic who
repeats time after time the desperate experiment of
the first drink? Friends who have reasoned with him
after a spree which has brought him to the point ofdivorce or bankruptcy are mystified when he walks
directly into a saloon. Why does he? Of what is hethinking?
Our first example is a friend we shall call Jim. Thisman has a charming wife and family. He inherited alucrative automobile agency. He had a commendable
World War record. He is a good salesman. Everybody likes him. He is an intelligent man, normal so far
as we can see, except for a nervous disposition. He did
no drinking until he was thirty-five. In a few years hebecame so violent when intoxicated that he had to becommitted. On leaving the asylum he came into contact with us.
We told him what we knew of alcoholism and theanswer we had found. He made a beginning. His
family was re-assembled, and he began to work as asalesman for the business he had lost through drinking. All went well for a time, but he failed to enlarge
his spiritual life. To his consternation, he found himself drunk half a dozen times in rapid succession. On
each of these occasions we worked with him, reviewing carefully what had happened. He agreed he wasa real alcoholic and in a serious condition. He knew
he faced another trip to the asylum if he kept on.
Moreover, he would lose his family for whom he hada deep affection.
MORE ABOUT ALCOHOLISM

36

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS

Yet he got drunk again. We asked him to tell us
exactly how it happened. This is his story: “I came towork on Tuesday morning. I remember I felt irritatedthat I had to be a salesman for a concern I once
owned. I had a few words with the boss, but nothing
serious. Then I decided to drive into the country andsee one of my prospects for a car. On the way I felt
hungry so I stopped at a roadside place where they
have a bar. I had no intention of drinking. I justthought I would get a sandwich. I also had the notionthat I might find a customer for a car at this place,which was familiar for I had been going to it for years.
I had eaten there many times during the months I wassober. I sat down at a table and ordered a sandwich
and a glass of milk. Still no thought of drinking. I
ordered another sandwich and decided to haveanother glass of milk.
“Suddenly the thought crossed my mind that if I
were to put an ounce of whiskey in my milk it couldn’thurt me on a full stomach. I ordered a whiskey andpoured it into the milk. I vaguely sensed I was not
being any too smart, but felt reassured as I was taking
the whiskey on a full stomach. The experiment went
so well that I ordered another whiskey and poured it
into more milk. That didn’t seem to bother me so I
tried another.’’Thus started one more journey to the asylum forJim. Here was the threat of commitment, the loss offamily and position, to say nothing of that intense
mental and physical suffering which drinking always
caused him. He had much knowledge about himself
as an alcoholic. Yet all reasons for not drinking were37
easily pushed aside in favor of the foolish idea that hecould take whiskey if only he mixed it with milk!
Whatever the precise definition of the word may be,
we call this plain insanity. How can such a lack ofproportion, of the ability to think straight, be called
anything else?
You may think this an extreme case. To us it is not
far-fetched, for this kind of thinking has been characteristic of every single one of us. We have sometimes
reflected more than Jim did upon the consequences.
But there was always the curious mental phenomenon
that parallel with our sound reasoning there inevitably
ran some insanely trivial excuse for taking the first
drink. Our sound reasoning failed to hold us in check.
The insane idea won out. Next day we would ask ourselves, in all earnestness and sincerity, how it could
have happened.
In some circumstances we have gone out deliberately to get drunk, feeling ourselves justified by
nervousness, anger, worry, depression, jealousy or the
like. But even in this type of beginning we are obliged
to admit that our justification for a spree was insanely
insufficient in the light of what always happened. We
now see that when we began to drink deliberately,
instead of casually, there was little serious or effective
thought during the period of premeditation of what
the terrific consequences might be.
Our behavior is as absurd and incomprehensible
with respect to the first drink as that of an individualwith a passion, say, for jay-walking. He gets a thrill
out of skipping in front of fast-moving vehicles. He
enjoys himself for a few years in spite of friendly warnings. Up to this point you would label him as a foolish
MORE ABOUT ALCOHOLISM

38
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS
chap having queer ideas of fun. Luck then deserts
him and he is slightly injured several times in succession. You would expect him, if he were normal, to cut
it out. Presently he is hit again and this time has afractured skull. Within a week after leaving the hospital a fast-moving trolley car breaks his arm. He
tells you he has decided to stop jay-walking for good,
but in a few weeks he breaks both legs.
On through the years this conduct continues, accompanied by his continual promises to be careful or tokeep off the streets altogether. Finally, he can nolonger work, his wife gets a divorce and he is held up
to ridicule. He tries every known means to get the jaywalking idea out of his head. He shuts himself up in
an asylum, hoping to mend his ways. But the day hecomes out he races in front of a fire engine, which
breaks his back. Such a man would be crazy, wouldn’the?
You may think our illustration is too ridiculous. But
is it? We, who have been through the wringer, haveto admit if we substituted alcoholism for jay-walking,the illustration would fit us exactly. However intelligent we may have been in other respects, where alcohol has been involved, we have been strangely insane.
It’s strong language—but isn’t it true?
Some of you are thinking: “Yes, what you tell us istrue, but it doesn’t fully apply. We admit we havesome of these symptoms, but we have not gone to theextremes you fellows did, nor are we likely to, for weunderstand ourselves so well after what you have told
us that such things cannot happen again. We havenot lost everything in life through drinking and we39certainly do not intend to. Thanks for the information.’’That may be true of certain nonalcoholic people
who, though drinking foolishly and heavily at thepresent time, are able to stop or moderate, because
their brains and bodies have not been damaged as
ours were. But the actual or potential alcoholic, withhardly an exception, will be absolutely unable to stop
drinking on the basis of self-knowledge. This is a point
we wish to emphasize and re-emphasize, to smashhome upon our alcoholic readers as it has been revealed to us out of bitter experience. Let us takeanother illustration.
Fred is partner in a well known accounting firm.
His income is good, he has a fine home, is happily
married and the father of promising children of college age. He has so attractive a personality that hemakes friends with everyone. If ever there was a
successful business man, it is Fred. To all appearance
he is a stable, well balanced individual. Yet, he isalcoholic. We first saw Fred about a year ago in a
hospital where he had gone to recover from a badcase of jitters. It was his first experience of this kind,and he was much ashamed of it. Far from admitting
he was an alcoholic, he told himself he came to thehospital to rest his nerves. The doctor intimatedstrongly that he might be worse than he realized. Fora few days he was depressed about his condition. He
made up his mind to quit drinking altogether. It neveroccurred to him that perhaps he could not do so, in
spite of his character and standing. Fred would not
believe himself an alcoholic, much less accept aspiritual remedy for his problem. We told him what
MORE ABOUT ALCOHOLISM

40
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS
we knew about alcoholism. He was interested andconceded that he had some of the symptoms, but hewas a long way from admitting that he could do
nothing about it himself. He was positive that thishumiliating experience, plus the knowledge he had acquired, would keep him sober the rest of his life. Selfknowledge would fix it.
We heard no more of Fred for a while. One day wewere told that he was back in the hospital. This time
he was quite shaky. He soon indicated he was anxious
to see us. The story he told is most instructive, forhere was a chap absolutely convinced he had to stop
drinking, who had no excuse for drinking, who exhibited splendid judgment and determination in all hisother concerns, yet was flat on his back nevertheless.
Let him tell you about it: “I was much impressedwith what you fellows said about alcoholism, and I
frankly did not believe it would be possible for me todrink again. I rather appreciated your ideas about
the subtle insanity which precedes the first drink, but
I was confident it could not happen to me after what I
had learned. I reasoned I was not so far advanced as
most of you fellows, that I had been usually successful
in licking my other personal problems, and that I
would therefore be successful where you men failed.
I felt I had every right to be self-confident, that it
would be only a matter of exercising my will power
and keeping on guard.
“In this frame of mind, I went about my businessand for a time all was well. I had no trouble refusing
drinks, and began to wonder if I had not been making
too hard work of a simple matter. One day I went toWashington to present some accounting evidence to41
a government bureau. I had been out of town before
during this particular dry spell, so there was nothing
new about that. Physically, I felt fine. Neither did I
have any pressing problems or worries. My businesscame off well, I was pleased and knew my partners
would be too. It was the end of a perfect day, not a
cloud on the horizon.
“I went to my hotel and leisurely dressed for dinner.
As I crossed the threshold of the dining room, thethought came to mind that it would be nice to have acouple of cocktails with dinner. That was all. Nothing
more. I ordered a cocktail and my meal. Then I ordered another cocktail. After dinner I decided to takea walk. When I returned to the hotel it struck me ahighball would be fine before going to bed, so I
stepped into the bar and had one. I remember having
several more that night and plenty next morning. I
have a shadowy recollection of being in an airplanebound for New York, and of finding a friendly taxicab
driver at the landing field instead of my wife. The
driver escorted me about for several days. I know littleof where I went or what I said and did. Then camethe hospital with unbearable mental and physicalsuffering.
“As soon as I regained my ability to think, I went
carefully over that evening in Washington. Not only
had I been off guard, I had made no fight whateveragainst the first drink. This time I had not thought ofthe consequences at all. I had commenced to drink as
carelessly as though the cocktails were ginger ale. I
now remembered what my alcoholic friends had toldme, how they prophesied that if I had an alcoholic
mind, the time and place would come—I would drink
MORE ABOUT ALCOHOLISM

42
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS
again. They had said that though I did raise a defense,
it would one day give way before some trivial reason
for having a drink. Well, just that did happen andmore, for what I had learned of alcoholism did notoccur to me at all. I knew from that moment that I
had an alcoholic mind. I saw that will power andself-knowledge would not help in those strange mental
blank spots. I had never been able to understandpeople who said that a problem had them hopelessly
defeated. I knew then. It was a crushing blow.
“Two of the members of Alcoholics Anonymouscame to see me. They grinned, which I didn’t like somuch, and then asked me if I thought myself alcoholicand if I were really licked this time. I had to concede
both propositions. They piled on me heaps of evidence to the effect that an alcoholic mentality, such as
I had exhibited in Washington, was a hopeless condition. They cited cases out of their own experience by
the dozen. This process snuffed out the last flicker ofconviction that I could do the job myself.
“Then they outlined the spiritual answer and program of action which a hundred of them had followed
successfully. Though I had been only a nominal
churchman, their proposals were not, intellectually,
hard to swallow. But the program of action, thoughentirely sensible, was pretty drastic. It meant I would
have to throw several lifelong conceptions out of thewindow. That was not easy. But the moment I madeup my mind to go through with the process, I had the
curious feeling that my alcoholic condition was relieved, as in fact it proved to be.
“Quite as important was the discovery that spiritual
principles would solve all my problems. I have since43
been brought into a way of living infinitely more satisfying and, I hope, more useful than the life I lived
before. My old manner of life was by no means a bad
one, but I would not exchange its best moments forthe worst I have now. I would not go back to it even
if I could.’’
Fred’s story speaks for itself. We hope it strikes
home to thousands like him. He had felt only the first
nip of the wringer. Most alcoholics have to be pretty
badly mangled before they really commence to solve
their problems.
Many doctors and psychiatrists agree with our conclusions. One of these men, staff member of a worldrenowned hospital, recently made this statement tosome of us: “What you say about the general hopelessness of the average alcoholic’s plight is, in my opinion,
correct. As to two of you men, whose stories I haveheard, there is no doubt in my mind that you were100% hopeless, apart from divine help. Had you offered yourselves as patients at this hospital, I would
not have taken you, if I had been able to avoid it.
People like you are too heartbreaking. Though not areligious person, I have profound respect for the
spiritual approach in such cases as yours. For mostcases, there is virtually no other solution.’’Once more: The alcoholic at certain times has noeffective mental defense against the first drink. Except in a few rare cases, neither he nor any otherhuman being can provide such a defense. His defense
must come from a Higher Power.
MORE ABOUT ALCOHOLISM

Chapter 4

WE AGNOSTICSIn the preceding chapters you have learned
something of alcoholism. We hope we havemade clear the distinction between the alcoholic andthe non-alcoholic. If, when you honestly want to, youfind you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking, youhave little control over the amount you take, you areprobably alcoholic. If that be the case, you may besuffering from an illness which only a spiritual experience will conquer.
To one who feels he is an atheist or agnostic such an
experience seems impossible, but to continue as he ismeans disaster, especially if he is an alcoholic of thehopeless variety. To be doomed to an alcoholic deathor to live on a spiritual basis are not always easyalternatives to face.
But it isn’t so difficult. About half our original
fellowship were of exactly that type. At first some ofus tried to avoid the issue, hoping against hope wewere not true alcoholics. But after a while we had toface the fact that we must find a spiritual basis of life—or else. Perhaps it is going to be that way with you.
But cheer up, something like half of us thought wewere atheists or agnostics. Our experience shows thatyou need not be disconcerted.
If a mere code of morals or a better philosophy oflife were sufficient to overcome alcoholism, many of us44

45
would have recovered long ago. But we found thatsuch codes and philosophies did not save us, no matter
how much we tried. We could wish to be moral, we
could wish to be philosophically comforted, in fact,
we could will these things with all our might, but theneeded power wasn’t there. Our human resources, as
marshalled by the will, were not sufficient; they failed
utterly.
Lack of power, that was our dilemma. We had tofind a power by which we could live, and it had to bea Power greater than ourselves. Obviously. But where
and how were we to find this Power?
Well, that’s exactly what this book is about. Its
main object is to enable you to find a Power greaterthan yourself which will solve your problem. Thatmeans we have written a book which we believe tobe spiritual as well as moral. And it means, of course,that we are going to talk about God. Here difficultyarises with agnostics. Many times we talk to a newman and watch his hope rise as we discuss his alcoholic problems and explain our fellowship. But his face
falls when we speak of spiritual matters, especiallywhen we mention God, for we have re-opened a subject which our man thought he had neatly evaded or
entirely ignored.
We know how he feels. We have shared his honest
doubt and prejudice. Some of us have been violently
anti-religious. To others, the word “God’’ brought up
a particular idea of Him with which someone had tried
to impress them during childhood. Perhaps we rejected this particular conception because it seemed
inadequate. With that rejection we imagined we hadabandoned the God idea entirely. We were bothered
WE AGNOSTICS

46
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS
with the thought that faith and dependence upon aPower beyond ourselves was somewhat weak, evencowardly. We looked upon this world of warring
individuals, warring theological systems, and inexplicable calamity, with deep skepticism. We lookedaskance at many individuals who claimed to be godly.
How could a Supreme Being have anything to do withit all? And who could comprehend a Supreme Being
anyhow? Yet, in other moments, we found ourselves
thinking, when enchanted by a starlit night, “Who,then, made all this?’’ There was a feeling of awe andwonder, but it was fleeting and soon lost.
Yes, we of agnostic temperament have had thesethoughts and experiences. Let us make haste to reassure you. We found that as soon as we were able tolay aside prejudice and express even a willingness tobelieve in a Power greater than ourselves, we commenced to get results, even though it was impossible
for any of us to fully define or comprehend thatPower, which is God.
Much to our relief, we discovered we did not needto consider another’s conception of God. Our own
conception, however inadequate, was sufficient tomake the approach and to effect a contact with Him.
As soon as we admitted the possible existence of a
Creative Intelligence, a Spirit of the Universe underlying the totality of things, we began to be possessedof a new sense of power and direction, provided we
took other simple steps. We found that God does notmake too hard terms with those who seek Him. To us,
the Realm of Spirit is broad, roomy, all inclusive; neverexclusive or forbidding to those who earnestly seek.
It is open, we believe, to all men.

47
When, therefore, we speak to you of God, we mean
your own conception of God. This applies, too, toother spiritual expressions which you find in this book.
Do not let any prejudice you may have against
spiritual terms deter you from honestly asking yourself
what they mean to you. At the start, this was all we
needed to commence spiritual growth, to effect our
first conscious relation with God as we understoodHim. Afterward, we found ourselves accepting manythings which then seemed entirely out of reach. That
was growth, but if we wished to grow we had to begin
somewhere. So we used our own conception, however limited it was.
We needed to ask ourselves but one short question.
“Do I now believe, or am I even willing to believe,that there is a Power greater than myself?’’ As soon
as a man can say that he does believe, or is willing tobelieve, we emphatically assure him that he is on hisway. It has been repeatedly proven among us thatupon this simple cornerstone a wonderfully effective
spiritual structure can be built.*
That was great news to us, for we had assumed we
could not make use of spiritual principles unless weaccepted many things on faith which seemed difficult
to believe. When people presented us with spiritualapproaches, how frequently did we all say, “I wish I
had what that man has. I’m sure it would work if
I could only believe as he believes. But I cannot accept as surely true the many articles of faith which areso plain to him.’’ So it was comforting to learn that
we could commence at a simpler level.
Besides a seeming inability to accept much on faith,
WE AGNOSTICS* Please be sure to read Appendix II on “Spiritual Experience.”

48
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS
we often found ourselves handicapped by obstinacy,
sensitiveness, and unreasoning prejudice. Many of us
have been so touchy that even casual reference tospiritual things made us bristle with antagonism. This
sort of thinking had to be abandoned. Though someof us resisted, we found no great difficulty in casting
aside such feelings. Faced with alcoholic destruction,
we soon became as open minded on spiritual matters
as we had tried to be on other questions. In this respect alcohol was a great persuader. It finally beat us
into a state of reasonableness. Sometimes this was atedious process; we hope no one else will be prejudiced for as long as some of us were.
The reader may still ask why he should believe in a
Power greater than himself. We think there are goodreasons. Let us have a look at some of them.
The practical individual of today is a stickler forfacts and results. Nevertheless, the twentieth century
readily accepts theories of all kinds, provided they arefirmly grounded in fact. We have numerous theories,
for example, about electricity. Everybody believes
them without a murmur of doubt. Why this readyacceptance? Simply because it is impossible to explain
what we see, feel, direct, and use, without a reasonable assumption as a starting point.
Everybody nowadays, believes in scores of assumptions for which there is good evidence, but no perfectvisual proof. And does not science demonstrate thatvisual proof is the weakest proof? It is being constantly revealed, as mankind studies the material
world, that outward appearances are not inward
reality at all. To illustrate:
The prosaic steel girder is a mass of electrons whirl-

49
ing around each other at incredible speed. Thesetiny bodies are governed by precise laws, and theselaws hold true throughout the material world. Sciencetells us so. We have no reason to doubt it. When,however, the perfectly logical assumption is suggested
that underneath the material world and life as we see
it, there is an All Powerful, Guiding, Creative Intelligence, right there our perverse streak comes to thesurface and we laboriously set out to convince ourselves it isn’t so. We read wordy books and indulge
in windy arguments, thinking we believe this universe
needs no God to explain it. Were our contentions
true, it would follow that life originated out of nothing, means nothing, and proceeds nowhere.
Instead of regarding ourselves as intelligent agents,
spearheads of God’s ever advancing Creation, we
agnostics and atheists chose to believe that our human
intelligence was the last word, the alpha and theomega, the beginning and end of all. Rather vain ofus, wasn’t it?
We, who have traveled this dubious path, beg you
to lay aside prejudice, even against organized religion.
We have learned that whatever the human frailties ofvarious faiths may be, those faiths have given purposeand direction to millions. People of faith have a logical idea of what life is all about. Actually, we used tohave no reasonable conception whatever. We used toamuse ourselves by cynically dissecting spiritual beliefs and practices when we might have observed thatmany spiritually-minded persons of all races, colors,and creeds were demonstrating a degree of stability,
happiness and usefulness which we should have sought
ourselves.
WE AGNOSTICS

50

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS

Instead, we looked at the human defects of thesepeople, and sometimes used their shortcomings as abasis of wholesale condemnation. We talked of intolerance, while we were intolerant ourselves. We
missed the reality and the beauty of the forest because
we were diverted by the ugliness of some of its trees.
We never gave the spiritual side of life a fair hearing.
In our personal stories you will find a wide variationin the way each teller approaches and conceives of
the Power which is greater than himself. Whether weagree with a particular approach or conception seems
to make little difference. Experience has taught usthat these are matters about which, for our purpose,
we need not be worried. They are questions for eachindividual to settle for himself.
On one proposition, however, these men andwomen are strikingly agreed. Every one of them has
gained access to, and believes in, a Power greaterthan himself. This Power has in each case accomplished the miraculous, the humanly impossible. Asa celebrated American statesman put it, “Let’s lookat the record.’’
Here are thousands of men and women, worldly indeed. They flatly declare that since they have cometo believe in a Power greater than themselves, to takea certain attitude toward that Power, and to do certain
simple things, there has been a revolutionary change
in their way of living and thinking. In the face ofcollapse and despair, in the face of the total failureof their human resources, they found that a new
power, peace, happiness, and sense of direction flowed
into them. This happened soon after they wholeheartedly met a few simple requirements. Once con-

51
fused and baffled by the seeming futility of existence,
they show the underlying reasons why they weremaking heavy going of life. Leaving aside the drink
question, they tell why living was so unsatisfactory.
They show how the change came over them. Whenmany hundreds of people are able to say that theconsciousness of the Presence of God is today the mostimportant fact of their lives, they present a powerfulreason why one should have faith.
This world of ours has made more material progressin the last century than in all the millenniums which
went before. Almost everyone knows the reason.
Students of ancient history tell us that the intellectof men in those days was equal to the best of today.
Yet in ancient times material progress was painfully
slow. The spirit of modern scientific inquiry, researchand invention was almost unknown. In the realm of
the material, men’s minds were fettered by superstition, tradition, and all sorts of fixed ideas. Some of
the contemporaries of Columbus thought a roundearth preposterous. Others came near putting Galileo
to death for his astronomical heresies.
We asked ourselves this: Are not some of us just as
biased and unreasonable about the realm of the spirit
as were the ancients about the realm of the material?
Even in the present century, American newspapers
were afraid to print an account of the Wright brothers’
first successful flight at Kitty Hawk. Had not all efforts
at flight failed before? Did not Professor Langley’s
flying machine go to the bottom of the Potomac
River? Was it not true that the best mathematicalminds had proved man could never fly? Had not
people said God had reserved this privilege to the
WE AGNOSTICS

52
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS
birds? Only thirty years later the conquest of the air
was almost an old story and airplane travel was infull swing.
But in most fields our generation has witnessed complete liberation of our thinking. Show any longshoreman a Sunday supplement describing a proposal to
explore the moon by means of a rocket and he will
say, “I bet they do it—maybe not so long either.’’ Is
not our age characterized by the ease with which we
discard old ideas for new, by the complete readinesswith which we throw away the theory or gadget which
does not work for something new which does?
We had to ask ourselves why we shouldn’t apply to
our human problems this same readiness to change
our point of view. We were having trouble withpersonal relationships, we couldn’t control our emotional natures, we were a prey to misery and depression, we couldn’t make a living, we had a feeling ofuselessness, we were full of fear, we were unhappy,
we couldn’t seem to be of real help to other people—
was not a basic solution of these bedevilments more
important than whether we should see newsreels of
lunar flight? Of course it was.
When we saw others solve their problems by asimple reliance upon the Spirit of the Universe, we
had to stop doubting the power of God. Our ideas
did not work. But the God idea did.
The Wright brothers’ almost childish faith that they
could build a machine which would fly was the mainspring of their accomplishment. Without that, nothing
could have happened. We agnostics and atheists were
sticking to the idea that self-sufficiency would solve
our problems. When others showed us that “God-suf-

53
ficiency’’ worked with them, we began to feel likethose who had insisted the Wrights would never fly.
Logic is great stuff. We liked it. We still like it. It
is not by chance we were given the power to reason,
to examine the evidence of our senses, and to draw
conclusions. That is one of man’s magnificent attributes. We agnostically inclined would not feelsatisfied with a proposal which does not lend itself toreasonable approach and interpretation. Hence weare at pains to tell why we think our present faith isreasonable, why we think it more sane and logical tobelieve than not to believe, why we say our former
thinking was soft and mushy when we threw up ourhands in doubt and said, “We don’t know.’’
When we became alcoholics, crushed by a selfimposed crisis we could not postpone or evade, we
had to fearlessly face the proposition that either God
is everything or else He is nothing. God either is, orHe isn’t. What was our choice to be?
Arrived at this point, we were squarely confronted
with the question of faith. We couldn’t duck the issue.
Some of us had already walked far over the Bridge of
Reason toward the desired shore of faith. The outlines
and the promise of the New Land had brought lustre
to tired eyes and fresh courage to flagging spirits.
Friendly hands had stretched out in welcome. We
were grateful that Reason had brought us so far. But
somehow, we couldn’t quite step ashore. Perhaps we
had been leaning too heavily on Reason that last mile
and we did not like to lose our support.
That was natural, but let us think a little moreclosely. Without knowing it, had we not been brought
to where we stood by a certain kind of faith? For did
WE AGNOSTICS

54
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS
we not believe in our own reasoning? Did we nothave confidence in our ability to think? What wasthat but a sort of faith? Yes, we had been faithful,abjectly faithful to the God of Reason. So, in one way
or another, we discovered that faith had been involved all the time!
We found, too, that we had been worshippers.
What a state of mental goose-flesh that used to bringon! Had we not variously worshipped people, sentiment, things, money, and ourselves? And then, witha better motive, had we not worshipfully beheld thesunset, the sea, or a flower? Who of us had not loved
something or somebody? How much did these feelings, these loves, these worships, have to do with purereason? Little or nothing, we saw at last. Were notthese things the tissue out of which our lives wereconstructed? Did not these feelings, after all, determine the course of our existence? It was impossible tosay we had no capacity for faith, or love, or worship.
In one form or another we had been living by faithand little else.
Imagine life without faith! Were nothing left but
pure reason, it wouldn’t be life. But we believed inlife—of course we did. We could not prove life in thesense that you can prove a straight line is the shortest
distance between two points, yet, there it was. Could
we still say the whole thing was nothing but a mass ofelectrons, created out of nothing, meaning nothing,
whirling on to a destiny of nothingness? Of course we
couldn’t. The electrons themselves seemed more intelligent than that. At least, so the chemist said.
Hence, we saw that reason isn’t everything. Neither
is reason, as most of us use it, entirely dependable,

55
though it emanate from our best minds. What about
people who proved that man could never fly?
Yet we had been seeing another kind of flight, aspiritual liberation from this world, people who rose
above their problems. They said God made thesethings possible, and we only smiled. We had seen
spiritual release, but liked to tell ourselves it wasn’t
true.
Actually we were fooling ourselves, for deep downin every man, woman, and child, is the fundamental
idea of God. It may be obscured by calamity, bypomp, by worship of other things, but in some formor other it is there. For faith in a Power greater thanourselves, and miraculous demonstrations of thatpower in human lives, are facts as old as man himself.
We finally saw that faith in some kind of God wasa part of our make-up, just as much as the feeling wehave for a friend. Sometimes we had to search fearlessly, but He was there. He was as much a fact aswe were. We found the Great Reality deep down
within us. In the last analysis it is only there that He
may be found. It was so with us.
We can only clear the ground a bit. If our testimony helps sweep away prejudice, enables you tothink honestly, encourages you to search diligently
within yourself, then, if you wish, you can join us on
the Broad Highway. With this attitude you cannot
fail. The consciousness of your belief is sure to cometo you.
In this book you will read the experience of a man
who thought he was an atheist. His story is so interesting that some of it should be told now. His change ofheart was dramatic, convincing, and moving.
WE AGNOSTICS

56

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS

Our friend was a minister’s son. He attended
church school, where he became rebellious at what
he thought an overdose of religious education. For
years thereafter he was dogged by trouble and frustration. Business failure, insanity, fatal illness, suicide—these calamities in his immediate family embitteredand depressed him. Post-war disillusionment, evermore serious alcoholism, impending mental and physical collapse, brought him to the point of self-destruction.
One night, when confined in a hospital, he was approached by an alcoholic who had known a spiritualexperience. Our friend’s gorge rose as he bitterly
cried out: “If there is a God, He certainly hasn’t done
anything for me!’’ But later, alone in his room, heasked himself this question: “Is it possible that all thereligious people I have known are wrong?’’ Whilepondering the answer he felt as though he lived inhell. Then, like a thunderbolt, a great thought came.
It crowded out all else:“Who are you to say there is no God?’’This man recounts that he tumbled out of bed to hisknees. In a few seconds he was overwhelmed by aconviction of the Presence of God. It poured over andthrough him with the certainty and majesty of a greattide at flood. The barriers he had built through theyears were swept away. He stood in the Presence ofInfinite Power and Love. He had stepped from bridge
to shore. For the first time, he lived in conscious companionship with his Creator.
Thus was our friend’s cornerstone fixed in place. No
later vicissitude has shaken it. His alcoholic problem
was taken away. That very night, years ago, it dis-57
appeared. Save for a few brief moments of temptation
the thought of drink has never returned; and at suchtimes a great revulsion has risen up in him. Seemingly
he could not drink even if he would. God had restored
his sanity.
What is this but a miracle of healing? Yet its elements are simple. Circumstances made him willing tobelieve. He humbly offered himself to his Maker—
then he knew.
Even so has God restored us all to our right minds.
To this man, the revelation was sudden. Some of us
grow into it more slowly. But He has come to all who
have honestly sought Him.
When we drew near to Him He disclosed Himself
to us!
WE AGNOSTICS

Alco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 58

Chapter 5

HOW IT WORKS

R

arely have we seen a person fail who has
thoroughly followed our path. Those who do notrecover are people who cannot or will not completely
give themselves to this simple program, usually men
and women who are constitutionally incapable of be­
ing honest with themselves. There are such unfortu­
nates. They are not at fault; they seem to have beenborn that way. They are naturally incapable of grasp­
ing and developing a manner of living which demands
rigorous honesty. Their chances are less than average.
There are those, too, who suffer from grave emotionaland mental disorders, but many of them do recover ifthey have the capacity to be honest.
Our stories disclose in a general way what we used
to be like, what happened, and what we are like now.
If you have decided you want what we have and arewilling to go to any length to get it—then you areready to take certain steps.
At some of these we balked. We thought we could
ﬁnd an easier, softer way. But we could not. With
all the earnestness at our command, we beg of you to
be fearless and thorough from the very start. Some ofus have tried to hold on to our old ideas and the result
was nil until we let go absolutely.
Remember that we deal with alcohol—cunning, baf­58

Alco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 59

59
ﬂing, powerful! Without help it is too much for us.
But there is One who has all power—that One is God.
May you ﬁnd Him now!
Half measures availed us nothing. We stood at theturning point. We asked His protection and care withcomplete abandon.
Here are the steps we took, which are suggested asa program of recovery:
1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that a Power greater than our­selves could restore us to sanity.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives
over to the care of God as we understood Him.
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventoryof ourselves.
5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to anotherhuman being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6. Were entirely ready to have God remove allthese defects of character.
7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, andbecame willing to make amends to them all.
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever
possible, except when to do so would injure
them or others.
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when
we were wrong promptly admitted it.
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to im­prove our conscious contact with God as we un­derstood Him, praying only for knowledge of
His will for us and the power to carry that out.
HOW IT WORKS

Alco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 60

60
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the resultof these steps, we tried to carry this message toalcoholics, and to practice these principles in all
our affairs.
Many of us exclaimed, “What an order! I can’t gothrough with it.’’ Do not be discouraged. No one
among us has been able to maintain anything like per­fect adherence to these principles. We are not saints.
The point is, that we are willing to grow along spirituallines. The principles we have set down are guides toprogress. We claim spiritual progress rather thanspiritual perfection.
Our description of the alcoholic, the chapter to theagnostic, and our personal adventures before and after
make clear three pertinent ideas:(a) That we were alcoholic and could not manage
our own lives.
(b) That probably no human power could have re­lieved our alcoholism.
(c) That God could and would if He were sought.
Being convinced, we were at Step Three, which isthat we decided to turn our will and our life over to
God as we understood Him. Just what do we mean bythat, and just what do we do?
The ﬁrst requirement is that we be convinced thatany life run on self-will can hardly be a success. On
that basis we are almost always in collision with some­thing or somebody, even though our motives are good.
Most people try to live by self-propulsion. Each per­son is like an actor who wants to run the whole show;
is forever trying to arrange the lights, the ballet, thescenery and the rest of the players in his own way. If

Alco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 61

61
his arrangements would only stay put, if only people
would do as he wished, the show would be great.
Everybody, including himself, would be pleased. Life
would be wonderful. In trying to make these arrange­ments our actor may sometimes be quite virtuous. He
may be kind, considerate, patient, generous; evenmodest and self-sacriﬁcing. On the other hand, hemay be mean, egotistical, selﬁsh and dishonest. But,
as with most humans, he is more likely to have varied
traits.
What usually happens? The show doesn’t come offvery well. He begins to think life doesn’t treat him
right. He decides to exert himself more. He becomes,on the next occasion, still more demanding or gracious,as the case may be. Still the play does not suit him.
Admitting he may be somewhat at fault, he is surethat other people are more to blame. He becomes
angry, indignant, self-pitying. What is his basic
trouble? Is he not really a self-seeker even when try­
ing to be kind? Is he not a victim of the delusion that
he can wrest satisfaction and happiness out of thisworld if he only manages well? Is it not evident to all
the rest of the players that these are the things hewants? And do not his actions make each of themwish to retaliate, snatching all they can get out of theshow? Is he not, even in his best moments, a pro­
ducer of confusion rather than harmony?
Our actor is self-centered—ego-centric, as people
like to call it nowadays. He is like the retired business
man who lolls in the Florida sunshine in the wintercomplaining of the sad state of the nation; the minister
who sighs over the sins of the twentieth century; poli­
ticians and reformers who are sure all would be Utopia
HOW IT WORKS

Alco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 62

62
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS
if the rest of the world would only behave; the outlaw
safe cracker who thinks society has wronged him; andthe alcoholic who has lost all and is locked up. What­ever our protestations, are not most of us concernedwith ourselves, our resentments, or our self-pity?
Selﬁshness—self-centeredness! That, we think, is theroot of our troubles. Driven by a hundred forms offear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity, we stepon the toes of our fellows and they retaliate. Some­times they hurt us, seemingly without provocation, but
we invariably ﬁnd that at some time in the past we
have made decisions based on self which later placed
us in a position to be hurt.
So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own
making. They arise out of ourselves, and the alcoholic
is an extreme example of self-will run riot, though heusually doesn’t think so. Above everything, we alco­
holics must be rid of this selﬁshness. We must, or it
kills us! God makes that possible. And there often
seems no way of entirely getting rid of self without
His aid. Many of us had moral and philosophical con­victions galore, but we could not live up to them eventhough we would have liked to. Neither could we
reduce our self-centeredness much by wishing or try­ing on our own power. We had to have God’s help.
This is the how and why of it. First of all, we had toquit playing God. It didn’t work. Next, we decided
that hereafter in this drama of life, God was going tobe our Director. He is the Principal; we are His
agents. He is the Father, and we are His children.
Most good ideas are simple, and this concept was the
keystone of the new and triumphant arch throughwhich we passed to freedom.

Alco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 63

63
When we sincerely took such a position, all sorts ofremarkable things followed. We had a new Employer.
Being all powerful, He provided what we needed, if
we kept close to Him and performed His work well.
Established on such a footing we became less and lessinterested in ourselves, our little plans and designs.
More and more we became interested in seeing what
we could contribute to life. As we felt new power
flow in, as we enjoyed peace of mind, as we discovered
we could face life successfully, as we became con­scious of His presence, we began to lose our fear of
today, tomorrow or the hereafter. We were reborn.
We were now at Step Three. Many of us said to our
Maker, as we understood Him: “God, I offer myself toThee—to build with me and to do with me as Thouwilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may
better do Thy will. Take away my difﬁculties, that
victory over them may bear witness to those I would
help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of life.
May I do Thy will always!’’ We thought well before
taking this step making sure we were ready; that we
could at last abandon ourselves utterly to Him.
We found it very desirable to take this spiritual stepwith an understanding person, such as our wife, bestfriend, or spiritual adviser. But it is better to meet God
alone than with one who might misunderstand. The
wording was, of course, quite optional so long as we
expressed the idea, voicing it without reservation.
This was only a beginning, though if honestly andhumbly made, an effect, sometimes a very great one,was felt at once.
Next we launched out on a course of vigorous action,
the ﬁrst step of which is a personal housecleaning,
HOW IT WORKS

Alco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 64

64
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS
which many of us had never attempted. Though ourdecision was a vital and crucial step, it could have little
permanent effect unless at once followed by a stren­uous effort to face, and to be rid of, the things in our­selves which had been blocking us. Our liquor was
but a symptom. So we had to get down to causes andconditions.
Therefore, we started upon a personal inventory.
This was Step Four. A business which takes no regularinventory usually goes broke. Taking a commercial
inventory is a fact-ﬁnding and a fact-facing process. It
is an effort to discover the truth about the stock-intrade. One object is to disclose damaged or unsalable
goods, to get rid of them promptly and without regret.
If the owner of the business is to be successful, he can­not fool himself about values.
We did exactly the same thing with our lives. We
took stock honestly. First, we searched out the ﬂaws
in our make-up which caused our failure. Being con­vinced that self, manifested in various ways, was what
had defeated us, we considered its common manifes­
tations.
Resentment is the “number one’’ offender. It destroys
more alcoholics than anything else. From it stem all
forms of spiritual disease, for we have been not only
mentally and physically ill, we have been spiritually
sick. When the spiritual malady is overcome, we
straighten out mentally and physically. In dealing
with resentments, we set them on paper. We listed
people, institutions or principles with whom we wereangry. We asked ourselves why we were angry. In
most cases it was found that our self-esteem, ourpocketbooks, our ambitions, our personal relationships

Alco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 65

65(including sex) were hurt or threatened. So we weresore. We were “burned up.’’
On our grudge list we set opposite each name our
injuries. Was it our self-esteem, our security, our am­
bitions, our personal, or sex relations, which had beeninterfered with?
We were usually as deﬁnite as this example:
HOW IT WORKS

I’m resentful at:
Mr. Brown

Mrs. JonesMy employer

My wife

The Cause

Affects my:His attention to mySex relations.
wife.
Self-esteem (fear)
Told my wife of mySex relations.
mistress.
Self-esteem (fear)
Brown may get my
Security.
job at the ofﬁce.
Self-esteem (fear)
She’s a nut—she
Personal relationsnubbed me. She
ship. Self-esteem
committed her hus(fear)
band for drinking.
He’s my friend.
She’s a gossip.
Unreasonable—Unjust Self-esteem (fear)— Overbearing —Security.
Threatens to ﬁreme for drinking
and padding my ex­pense account.
Misunderstands andPride—Personalnags. Likes Brown.
sex relations—
Wants house put inSecurity (fear)
her name.

We went back through our lives. Nothing counted
but thoroughness and honesty. When we were ﬁn­ished we considered it carefully. The ﬁrst thing ap­

Alco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 66

66
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS
parent was that this world and its people were often
quite wrong. To conclude that others were wrong was
as far as most of us ever got. The usual outcome wasthat people continued to wrong us and we stayed sore.
Sometimes it was remorse and then we were sore atourselves. But the more we fought and tried to have
our own way, the worse matters got. As in war, thevictor only seemed to win. Our moments of triumphwere short-lived.
It is plain that a life which includes deep resentment
leads only to futility and unhappiness. To the precise
extent that we permit these, do we squander the hours
that might have been worth while. But with the alco­
holic, whose hope is the maintenance and growth of a
spiritual experience, this business of resentment is in­ﬁnitely grave. We found that it is fatal. For whenharboring such feelings we shut ourselves off from thesunlight of the Spirit. The insanity of alcohol returns
and we drink again. And with us, to drink is to die.
If we were to live, we had to be free of anger. The
grouch and the brainstorm were not for us. They may
be the dubious luxury of normal men, but for alcohol­
ics these things are poison.
We turned back to the list, for it held the key to the
future. We were prepared to look at it from an en­
tirely different angle. We began to see that the world
and its people really dominated us. In that state, thewrong-doing of others, fancied or real, had power toactually kill. How could we escape? We saw thatthese resentments must be mastered, but how? We
could not wish them away any more than alcohol.
This was our course: We realized that the people
who wronged us were perhaps spiritually sick.

Alco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 67

67
Though we did not like their symptoms and the way
these disturbed us, they, like ourselves, were sick too.
We asked God to help us show them the same toler­
ance, pity, and patience that we would cheerfully
grant a sick friend. When a person offended we said
to ourselves, “This is a sick man. How can I be helpful
to him? God save me from being angry. Thy will be
done.’’
We avoid retaliation or argument. We wouldn’t
treat sick people that way. If we do, we destroy ourchance of being helpful. We cannot be helpful to all
people, but at least God will show us how to take akindly and tolerant view of each and every one.
Referring to our list again. Putting out of our minds
the wrongs others had done, we resolutely looked forour own mistakes. Where had we been selﬁsh, dis­honest, self-seeking and frightened? Though a situa­tion had not been entirely our fault, we tried todisregard the other person involved entirely. Where
were we to blame? The inventory was ours, not theother man’s. When we saw our faults we listed them.
We placed them before us in black and white. We
admitted our wrongs honestly and were willing to set
these matters straight.
Notice that the word “fear’’ is bracketed alongside the
difﬁculties with Mr. Brown, Mrs. Jones, the employer,
and the wife. This short word somehow touches about
every aspect of our lives. It was an evil and corroding
thread; the fabric of our existence was shot throughwith it. It set in motion trains of circumstances whichbrought us misfortune we felt we didn’t deserve. But
did not we, ourselves, set the ball rolling? Sometimes
HOW IT WORKS

Alco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 68

68
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS
we think fear ought to be classed with stealing. It
seems to cause more trouble.
We reviewed our fears thoroughly. We put them on
paper, even though we had no resentment in connec­
tion with them. We asked ourselves why we hadthem. Wasn’t it because self-reliance failed us? Selfreliance was good as far as it went, but it didn’t go far
enough. Some of us once had great self-conﬁdence,but it didn’t fully solve the fear problem, or any other.
When it made us cocky, it was worse.
Perhaps there is a better way—we think so. For weare now on a different basis; the basis of trusting andrelying upon God. We trust inﬁnite God rather thanour ﬁnite selves. We are in the world to play the role
He assigns. Just to the extent that we do as we think
He would have us, and humbly rely on Him, does He
enable us to match calamity with serenity.
We never apologize to anyone for depending upon
our Creator. We can laugh at those who think spiritu­
ality the way of weakness. Paradoxically, it is the wayof strength. The verdict of the ages is that faith means
courage. All men of faith have courage. They trust
their God. We never apologize for God. Instead welet Him demonstrate, through us, what He can do. We
ask Him to remove our fear and direct our attention towhat He would have us be. At once, we commence tooutgrow fear.
Now about sex. Many of us needed an overhaulingthere. But above all, we tried to be sensible on thisquestion. It’s so easy to get way off the track. Here
we ﬁnd human opinions running to extremes—absurd
extremes, perhaps. One set of voices cry that sex is alust of our lower nature, a base necessity of procrea­

Alco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 69

69
tion. Then we have the voices who cry for sex andmore sex; who bewail the institution of marriage; who
think that most of the troubles of the race are traceable
to sex causes. They think we do not have enough of it,or that it isn’t the right kind. They see its signiﬁcanceeverywhere. One school would allow man no ﬂavor
for his fare and the other would have us all on astraight pepper diet. We want to stay out of this con­troversy. We do not want to be the arbiter of anyone’s
sex conduct. We all have sex problems. We’d hardly
be human if we didn’t. What can we do about them?
We reviewed our own conduct over the years past.
Where had we been selﬁsh, dishonest, or inconsider­ate? Whom had we hurt? Did we unjustiﬁably arousejealousy, suspicion or bitterness? Where were we at
fault, what should we have done instead? We got thisall down on paper and looked at it.
In this way we tried to shape a sane and sound idealfor our future sex life. We subjected each relation tothis test—was it selﬁsh or not? We asked God to moldour ideals and help us to live up to them. We remem­
bered always that our sex powers were God-given andtherefore good, neither to be used lightly or selﬁshly
nor to be despised and loathed.
Whatever our ideal turns out to be, we must be will­
ing to grow toward it. We must be willing to makeamends where we have done harm, provided that we
do not bring about still more harm in so doing. In
other words, we treat sex as we would any other prob­
lem. In meditation, we ask God what we should do
about each speciﬁc matter. The right answer willcome, if we want it.
God alone can judge our sex situation. Counsel withHOW IT WORKS

Alco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 70

70
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS
persons is often desirable, but we let God be the ﬁnal
judge. We realize that some people are as fanatical
about sex as others are loose. We avoid hystericalthinking or advice.
Suppose we fall short of the chosen ideal andstumble? Does this mean we are going to get drunk?
Some people tell us so. But this is only a half-truth.
It depends on us and on our motives. If we are sorry
for what we have done, and have the honest desire to
let God take us to better things, we believe we will be
forgiven and will have learned our lesson. If we are
not sorry, and our conduct continues to harm others,
we are quite sure to drink. We are not theorizing.
These are facts out of our experience.
To sum up about sex: We earnestly pray for theright ideal, for guidance in each questionable situa­tion, for sanity, and for the strength to do the rightthing. If sex is very troublesome, we throw ourselves
the harder into helping others. We think of theirneeds and work for them. This takes us out of our­selves. It quiets the imperious urge, when to yieldwould mean heartache.
If we have been thorough about our personal in­ventory, we have written down a lot. We have listed
and analyzed our resentments. We have begun tocomprehend their futility and their fatality. We havecommenced to see their terrible destructiveness. We
have begun to learn tolerance, patience and good will
toward all men, even our enemies, for we look onthem as sick people. We have listed the people wehave hurt by our conduct, and are willing to straighten
out the past if we can.
In this book you read again and again that faith did

Alco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 71

71
for us what we could not do for ourselves. We hope
you are convinced now that God can remove whateverself-will has blocked you off from Him. If you havealready made a decision, and an inventory of yourgrosser handicaps, you have made a good beginning.
That being so you have swallowed and digested somebig chunks of truth about yourself.
HOW IT WORKS

Alco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 72

Chapter 6

INTO ACTION

H

aving made our personal inventory, what shall
we do about it? We have been trying to get a
new attitude, a new relationship with our Creator, andto discover the obstacles in our path. We have ad­mitted certain defects; we have ascertained in a roughway what the trouble is; we have put our ﬁnger on the
weak items in our personal inventory. Now these areabout to be cast out. This requires action on our part,which, when completed, will mean that we have ad­mitted to God, to ourselves, and to another humanbeing, the exact nature of our defects. This brings us
to the Fifth Step in the program of recovery mentioned
in the preceding chapter.
This is perhaps difﬁcult—especially discussing our
defects with another person. We think we have done
well enough in admitting these things to ourselves.
There is doubt about that. In actual practice, we usu­
ally ﬁnd a solitary self-appraisal insufﬁcient. Many ofus thought it necessary to go much further. We will
be more reconciled to discussing ourselves with an­other person when we see good reasons why we should
do so. The best reason ﬁrst: If we skip this vital step,
we may not overcome drinking. Time after time new­comers have tried to keep to themselves certain facts
about their lives. Trying to avoid this humbling ex­
perience, they have turned to easier methods. Almost72

Alco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 73

73
invariably they got drunk. Having persevered withthe rest of the program, they wondered why they fell.
We think the reason is that they never completed theirhousecleaning. They took inventory all right, but
hung on to some of the worst items in stock. They
only thought they had lost their egoism and fear; they
only thought they had humbled themselves. But they
had not learned enough of humility, fearlessness andhonesty, in the sense we ﬁnd it necessary, until they
told someone else all their life story.
More than most people, the alcoholic leads a double
life. He is very much the actor. To the outer world hepresents his stage character. This is the one he likes
his fellows to see. He wants to enjoy a certain reputa­tion, but knows in his heart he doesn’t deserve it.
The inconsistency is made worse by the things hedoes on his sprees. Coming to his senses, he is revolted
at certain episodes he vaguely remembers. These
memories are a nightmare. He trembles to think some­one might have observed him. As fast as he can, hepushes these memories far inside himself. He hopes
they will never see the light of day. He is under con­stant fear and tension—that makes for more drinking.
Psychologists are inclined to agree with us. We
have spent thousands of dollars for examinations. We
know but few instances where we have given these
doctors a fair break. We have seldom told them thewhole truth nor have we followed their advice. Un­
willing to be honest with these sympathetic men, wewere honest with no one else. Small wonder many inthe medical profession have a low opinion of alcoholics
and their chance for recovery!
We must be entirely honest with somebody if we
INTO ACTION

Alco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 74

74
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS
expect to live long or happily in this world. Rightly
and naturally, we think well before we choose the per­son or persons with whom to take this intimate andconﬁdential step. Those of us belonging to a religious
denomination which requires confession must, and ofcourse, will want to go to the properly appointed au­
thority whose duty it is to receive it. Though we haveno religious connection, we may still do well to talkwith someone ordained by an established religion. We
often ﬁnd such a person quick to see and understandour problem. Of course, we sometimes encounter peo­
ple who do not understand alcoholics.
If we cannot or would rather not do this, we search
our acquaintance for a close-mouthed, understanding
friend. Perhaps our doctor or psychologist will be theperson. It may be one of our own family, but we can­not disclose anything to our wives or our parents which
will hurt them and make them unhappy. We haveno right to save our own skin at another person’s ex­pense. Such parts of our story we tell to someone whowill understand, yet be unaffected. The rule is wemust be hard on ourself, but always considerate ofothers.
Notwithstanding the great necessity for discussing
ourselves with someone, it may be one is so situatedthat there is no suitable person available. If that is so,
this step may be postponed, only, however, if we holdourselves in complete readiness to go through with itat the ﬁrst opportunity. We say this because we arevery anxious that we talk to the right person. It is im­
portant that he be able to keep a conﬁdence; that hefully understand and approve what we are driving at;

Alco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 75

75
that he will not try to change our plan. But we must
not use this as a mere excuse to postpone.
When we decide who is to hear our story, we waste
no time. We have a written inventory and we are pre­pared for a long talk. We explain to our partner what
we are about to do and why we have to do it. He
should realize that we are engaged upon a life-anddeath errand. Most people approached in this way
will be glad to help; they will be honored by our
conﬁdence.
We pocket our pride and go to it, illuminating every
twist of character, every dark cranny of the past. Once
we have taken this step, withholding nothing, we aredelighted. We can look the world in the eye. We canbe alone at perfect peace and ease. Our fears fall fromus. We begin to feel the nearness of our Creator. We
may have had certain spiritual beliefs, but now we be­
gin to have a spiritual experience. The feeling thatthe drink problem has disappeared will often comestrongly. We feel we are on the Broad Highway,
walking hand in hand with the Spirit of the Universe.
Returning home we ﬁnd a place where we can be
quiet for an hour, carefully reviewing what we havedone. We thank God from the bottom of our heartthat we know Him better. Taking this book downfrom our shelf we turn to the page which contains thetwelve steps. Carefully reading the ﬁrst ﬁve proposals
we ask if we have omitted anything, for we are build­ing an arch through which we shall walk a free manat last. Is our work solid so far? Are the stones prop­
erly in place? Have we skimped on the cement put
into the foundation? Have we tried to make mortar
without sand?
INTO ACTION

Alco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 76

76

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS

If we can answer to our satisfaction, we then look at
Step Six. We have emphasized willingness as being in­dispensable. Are we now ready to let God remove
from us all the things which we have admitted are ob­jectionable? Can He now take them all—every one?
If we still cling to something we will not let go, we
ask God to help us be willing.
When ready, we say something like this: “My Cre­ator, I am now willing that you should have all of me,
good and bad. I pray that you now remove from meevery single defect of character which stands in theway of my usefulness to you and my fellows. Grantme strength, as I go out from here, to do your bidding.
Amen.’’ We have then completed Step Seven.
Now we need more action, without which we ﬁndthat “Faith without works is dead.’’ Let’s look at Steps
Eight and Nine. We have a list of all persons we haveharmed and to whom we are willing to make amends.
We made it when we took inventory. We subjected
ourselves to a drastic self-appraisal. Now we go out toour fellows and repair the damage done in the past.
We attempt to sweep away the debris which has accu­
mulated out of our effort to live on self-will and run
the show ourselves. If we haven’t the will to do this,
we ask until it comes. Remember it was agreed at the
beginning we would go to any lengths for victory overalcohol.
Probably there are still some misgivings. As we lookover the list of business acquaintances and friends wehave hurt, we may feel difﬁdent about going to someof them on a spiritual basis. Let us be reassured. To
some people we need not, and probably should notemphasize the spiritual feature on our ﬁrst approach.

Alco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 77

77
We might prejudice them. At the moment we are try­
ing to put our lives in order. But this is not an end in
itself. Our real purpose is to ﬁt ourselves to be of maxi­
mum service to God and the people about us. It is
seldom wise to approach an individual, who still
smarts from our injustice to him, and announce that
we have gone religious. In the prize ring, this would
be called leading with the chin. Why lay ourselvesopen to being branded fanatics or religious bores? We
may kill a future opportunity to carry a beneﬁcial mes­
sage. But our man is sure to be impressed with asincere desire to set right the wrong. He is going to be
more interested in a demonstration of good willthan in our talk of spiritual discoveries.
We don’t use this as an excuse for shying away fromthe subject of God. When it will serve any good pur­pose, we are willing to announce our convictions withtact and common sense. The question of how to ap­
proach the man we hated will arise. It may be he hasdone us more harm than we have done him and,though we may have acquired a better attitude toward
him, we are still not too keen about admitting ourfaults. Nevertheless, with a person we dislike, we takethe bit in our teeth. It is harder to go to an enemy
than to a friend, but we ﬁnd it much more beneﬁcial
to us. We go to him in a helpful and forgiving spirit,
confessing our former ill feeling and expressing ourregret.
Under no condition do we criticize such a person
or argue. Simply we tell him that we will never getover drinking until we have done our utmost to
straighten out the past. We are there to sweep off ourside of the street, realizing that nothing worth while
INTO ACTION

Alco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 78

78
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS
can be accomplished until we do so, never trying totell him what he should do. His faults are not dis­cussed. We stick to our own. If our manner is calm,
frank, and open, we will be gratiﬁed with the result.
In nine cases out of ten the unexpected happens.
Sometimes the man we are calling upon admits his
own fault, so feuds of years’ standing melt away in anhour. Rarely do we fail to make satisfactory progress.
Our former enemies sometimes praise what we aredoing and wish us well. Occasionally, they will offer
assistance. It should not matter, however, if someone
does throw us out of his ofﬁce. We have made ourdemonstration, done our part. It’s water over the dam.
Most alcoholics owe money. We do not dodge ourcreditors. Telling them what we are trying to do, we
make no bones about our drinking; they usually know
it anyway, whether we think so or not. Nor are weafraid of disclosing our alcoholism on the theory it
may cause ﬁnancial harm. Approached in this way,
the most ruthless creditor will sometimes surprise us.
Arranging the best deal we can we let these people
know we are sorry. Our drinking has made us slow
to pay. We must lose our fear of creditors no matter
how far we have to go, for we are liable to drink if weare afraid to face them.
Perhaps we have committed a criminal offense
which might land us in jail if it were known to the au­thorities. We may be short in our accounts and unable
to make good. We have already admitted this in con­ﬁdence to another person, but we are sure we would
be imprisoned or lose our job if it were known. Maybe
it’s only a petty offense such as padding the expense
account. Most of us have done that sort of thing.

Alco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 79

79
Maybe we are divorced, and have remarried but
haven’t kept up the alimony to number one. She isindignant about it, and has a warrant out for our ar­
rest. That’s a common form of trouble too.
Although these reparations take innumerable forms,
there are some general principles which we ﬁnd guid­ing. Reminding ourselves that we have decided to go
to any lengths to ﬁnd a spiritual experience, we ask
that we be given strength and direction to do the rightthing, no matter what the personal consequences may
be. We may lose our position or reputation or face
jail, but we are willing. We have to be. We must notshrink at anything.
Usually, however, other people are involved. There­
fore, we are not to be the hasty and foolish martyr who
would needlessly sacriﬁce others to save himself fromthe alcoholic pit. A man we know had remarried. Be­
cause of resentment and drinking, he had not paid ali­mony to his ﬁrst wife. She was furious. She went tocourt and got an order for his arrest. He had com­menced our way of life, had secured a position, andwas getting his head above water. It would have been
impressive heroics if he had walked up to the Judgeand said, “Here I am.’’
We thought he ought to be willing to do that if
necessary, but if he were in jail he could provide noth­ing for either family. We suggested he write his ﬁrst
wife admitting his faults and asking forgiveness. He
did, and also sent a small amount of money. He told
her what he would try to do in the future. He said he
was perfectly willing to go to jail if she insisted. Of
course she did not, and the whole situation has longsince been adjusted.
INTO ACTION

Alco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 80

80

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS

Before taking drastic action which might implicate
other people we secure their consent. If we have ob­tained permission, have consulted with others, asked
God to help and the drastic step is indicated we must
not shrink.
This brings to mind a story about one of our friends.
While drinking, he accepted a sum of money from a
bitterly-hated business rival, giving him no receipt for
it. He subsequently denied having received the money
and used the incident as a basis for discrediting theman. He thus used his own wrong-doing as a meansof destroying the reputation of another. In fact, his
rival was ruined.
He felt that he had done a wrong he could not pos­sibly make right. If he opened that old affair, he wasafraid it would destroy the reputation of his partner,
disgrace his family and take away his means of liveli­
hood. What right had he to involve those dependent
upon him? How could he possibly make a publicstatement exonerating his rival?
After consulting with his wife and partner he cameto the conclusion that it was better to take those risks
than to stand before his Creator guilty of such ruinous
slander. He saw that he had to place the outcome inGod’s hands or he would soon start drinking again, andall would be lost anyhow. He attended church for theﬁrst time in many years. After the sermon, he quietly
got up and made an explanation. His action met wide­
spread approval, and today he is one of the mosttrusted citizens of his town. This all happened years
ago.
The chances are that we have domestic troubles.
Perhaps we are mixed up with women in a fashion weAlco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 81

81
wouldn’t care to have advertised. We doubt if, in thisrespect, alcoholics are fundamentally much worse thanother people. But drinking does complicate sex rela­tions in the home. After a few years with an alcoholic,a wife gets worn out, resentful and uncommunicative.
How could she be anything else? The husband begins
to feel lonely, sorry for himself. He commences tolook around in the night clubs, or their equivalent, forsomething besides liquor. Perhaps he is having asecret and exciting affair with “the girl who under­
stands.’’ In fairness we must say that she may under­
stand, but what are we going to do about a thing likethat? A man so involved often feels very remorsefulat times, especially if he is married to a loyal andcourageous girl who has literally gone through hell for
him.
Whatever the situation, we usually have to do some­thing about it. If we are sure our wife does not know,
should we tell her? Not always, we think. If she
knows in a general way that we have been wild,should we tell her in detail? Undoubtedly we should
admit our fault. She may insist on knowing all theparticulars. She will want to know who the woman isand where she is. We feel we ought to say to her that
we have no right to involve another person. We aresorry for what we have done and, God willing, it shallnot be repeated. More than that we cannot do; wehave no right to go further. Though there may bejustiﬁable exceptions, and though we wish to lay downno rule of any sort, we have often found this the best
course to take.
Our design for living is not a one-way street. It is
as good for the wife as for the husband. If we can
INTO ACTION

Alco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 82

82
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS
forget, so can she. It is better, however, that one does
not needlessly name a person upon whom she can ventjealousy.
Perhaps there are some cases where the utmost
frankness is demanded. No outsider can appraise suchan intimate situation. It may be that both will decidethat the way of good sense and loving kindness is tolet by-gones be by-gones. Each might pray about it,
having the other one’s happiness uppermost in mind.
Keep it always in sight that we are dealing with thatmost terrible human emotion—jealousy. Good general­
ship may decide that the problem be attacked on theﬂank rather than risk a face-to-face combat.
If we have no such complication, there is plenty weshould do at home. Sometimes we hear an alcoholic
say that the only thing he needs to do is to keep sober.
Certainly he must keep sober, for there will be nohome if he doesn’t. But he is yet a long way frommaking good to the wife or parents whom for years
he has so shockingly treated. Passing all understand­ing is the patience mothers and wives have had withalcoholics. Had this not been so, many of us would
have no homes today, would perhaps be dead.
The alcoholic is like a tornado roaring his way
through the lives of others. Hearts are broken. Sweet
relationships are dead. Affections have been uprooted.
Selﬁsh and inconsiderate habits have kept the home inturmoil. We feel a man is unthinking when he saysthat sobriety is enough. He is like the farmer whocame up out of his cyclone cellar to ﬁnd his homeruined. To his wife, he remarked, “Don’t see anything
the matter here, Ma. Ain’t it grand the wind stopped
blowin’?’’Alco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 83

83
Yes, there is a long period of reconstruction ahead.
We must take the lead. A remorseful mumbling that
we are sorry won’t ﬁll the bill at all. We ought to sit
down with the family and frankly analyze the past as
we now see it, being very careful not to criticize them.
Their defects may be glaring, but the chances are that
our own actions are partly responsible. So we clean
house with the family, asking each morning in medita­tion that our Creator show us the way of patience,
tolerance, kindliness and love.
The spiritual life is not a theory. We have to live it.
Unless one’s family expresses a desire to live uponspiritual principles we think we ought not to urge
them. We should not talk incessantly to them about
spiritual matters. They will change in time. Our be­
havior will convince them more than our words. We
must remember that ten or twenty years of drunken­
ness would make a skeptic out of anyone.
There may be some wrongs we can never fully right.
We don’t worry about them if we can honestly say toourselves that we would right them if we could.
Some people cannot be seen—we send them an honest
letter. And there may be a valid reason for postpone­
ment in some cases. But we don’t delay if it can be
avoided. We should be sensible, tactful, considerate
and humble without being servile or scraping. As
God’s people we stand on our feet; we don’t crawl
before anyone.
If we are painstaking about this phase of ourdevelopment, we will be amazed before we are half
way through. We are going to know a new freedom
and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor
wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the
INTO ACTION

Alco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 84

84
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS
word serenity and we will know peace. No matter
how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how
our experience can benefit others. That feelingof uselessness and self-pity will disappear. We willlose interest in selﬁsh things and gain interest in our
fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole atti­
tude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people
and of economic insecurity will leave us. We will in­tuitively know how to handle situations which used tobafﬂe us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing
for us what we could not do for ourselves.
Are these extravagant promises? We think not.
They are being fulﬁlled among us—sometimes quickly,
sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if wework for them.
This thought brings us to Step Ten, which suggests
we continue to take personal inventory and continue
to set right any new mistakes as we go along. We
vigorously commenced this way of living as wecleaned up the past. We have entered the world of
the Spirit. Our next function is to grow in understand­ing and effectiveness. This is not an overnight matter.
It should continue for our lifetime. Continue to watch
for selﬁshness, dishonesty, resentment, and fear. Whenthese crop up, we ask God at once to remove them.
We discuss them with someone immediately and makeamends quickly if we have harmed anyone. Then weresolutely turn our thoughts to someone we can help.
Love and tolerance of others is our code.
And we have ceased ﬁghting anything or anyone—even alcohol. For by this time sanity will have re­turned. We will seldom be interested in liquor. If
tempted, we recoil from it as from a hot ﬂame. We

Alco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 85

85
react sanely and normally, and we will ﬁnd that thishas happened automatically. We will see that our new
attitude toward liquor has been given us without any
thought or effort on our part. It just comes! That is
the miracle of it. We are not ﬁghting it, neither are
we avoiding temptation. We feel as though we had
been placed in a position of neutrality—safe andprotected. We have not even sworn off. Instead, theproblem has been removed. It does not exist for us.
We are neither cocky nor are we afraid. That is our
experience. That is how we react so long as we keep
in ﬁt spiritual condition.
It is easy to let up on the spiritual program of action
and rest on our laurels. We are headed for trouble if
we do, for alcohol is a subtle foe. We are not cured of
alcoholism. What we really have is a daily reprieve
contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condi­
tion. Every day is a day when we must carry thevision of God’s will into all of our activities. “Howcan I best serve Thee—Thy will (not mine) be done.’’
These are thoughts which must go with us constantly.
We can exercise our will power along this line all wewish. It is the proper use of the will.
Much has already been said about receiving
strength, inspiration, and direction from Him who
has all knowledge and power. If we have carefully
followed directions, we have begun to sense the ﬂow
of His Spirit into us. To some extent we have become
God-conscious. We have begun to develop this vital
sixth sense. But we must go further and that means
more action.
Step Eleven suggests prayer and meditation. We
shouldn’t be shy on this matter of prayer. Better men
INTO ACTION

Alco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 86

86
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS
than we are using it constantly. It works, if we havethe proper attitude and work at it. It would be easy
to be vague about this matter. Yet, we believe we canmake some deﬁnite and valuable suggestions.
When we retire at night, we constructively review
our day. Were we resentful, selfish, dishonest or
afraid? Do we owe an apology? Have we kept some­thing to ourselves which should be discussed withanother person at once? Were we kind and loving
toward all? What could we have done better? Were
we thinking of ourselves most of the time? Or were
we thinking of what we could do for others, ofwhat we could pack into the stream of life? But wemust be careful not to drift into worry, remorse or
morbid reﬂection, for that would diminish our useful­ness to others. After making our review we ask God’s
forgiveness and inquire what corrective measures
should be taken.
On awakening let us think about the twenty-fourhours ahead. We consider our plans for the day. Be­fore we begin, we ask God to direct our thinking,especially asking that it be divorced from self-pity,
dishonest or self-seeking motives. Under these condi­
tions we can employ our mental faculties with as­
surance, for after all God gave us brains to use. Ourthought-life will be placed on a much higher plane
when our thinking is cleared of wrong motives.
In thinking about our day we may face indecision.
We may not be able to determine which course to
take. Here we ask God for inspiration, an intuitive
thought or a decision. We relax and take it easy. We
don’t struggle. We are often surprised how the rightanswers come after we have tried this for a while.

Alco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 87

87
What used to be the hunch or the occasional inspira­tion gradually becomes a working part of the mind.
Being still inexperienced and having just made con­scious contact with God, it is not probable that we aregoing to be inspired at all times. We might pay forthis presumption in all sorts of absurd actions andideas. Nevertheless, we ﬁnd that our thinking will,
as time passes, be more and more on the plane of in­spiration. We come to rely upon it.
We usually conclude the period of meditation witha prayer that we be shown all through the day what
our next step is to be, that we be given whatever weneed to take care of such problems. We ask especiallyfor freedom from self-will, and are careful to make norequest for ourselves only. We may ask for ourselves,
however, if others will be helped. We are careful
never to pray for our own selﬁsh ends. Many of us
have wasted a lot of time doing that and it doesn’twork. You can easily see why.
If circumstances warrant, we ask our wives orfriends to join us in morning meditation. If we belong
to a religious denomination which requires a deﬁnite
morning devotion, we attend to that also. If not mem­bers of religious bodies, we sometimes select andmemorize a few set prayers which emphasize theprinciples we have been discussing. There are many
helpful books also. Suggestions about these may beobtained from one’s priest, minister, or rabbi. Be
quick to see where religious people are right. Make
use of what they offer.
As we go through the day we pause, when agitatedor doubtful, and ask for the right thought or action.
We constantly remind ourselves we are no longer
INTO ACTION

Alco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 88

88
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS
running the show, humbly saying to ourselves manytimes each day “Thy will be done.’’ We are then inmuch less danger of excitement, fear, anger, worry,
self-pity, or foolish decisions. We become much more
efﬁcient. We do not tire so easily, for we are notburning up energy foolishly as we did when we were
trying to arrange life to suit ourselves.
It works—it really does.
We alcoholics are undisciplined. So we let God
discipline us in the simple way we have just outlined.
But this is not all. There is action and more action.
“Faith without works is dead.’’ The next chapter isentirely devoted to Step Twelve.

Alco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 89

Chapter 7

WORKING WITH OTHERS

P

ractical experience shows that nothing will
so much insure immunity from drinking as
intensive work with other alcoholics. It works whenother activities fail. This is our twelfth suggestion:
Carry this message to other alcoholics! You can help
when no one else can. You can secure their conﬁ­
dence when others fail. Remember they are very ill.
Life will take on new meaning. To watch people
recover, to see them help others, to watch lonelinessvanish, to see a fellowship grow up about you, to havea host of friends—this is an experience you must not
miss. We know you will not want to miss it. Fre­
quent contact with newcomers and with each otheris the bright spot of our lives.
Perhaps you are not acquainted with any drinkers
who want to recover. You can easily ﬁnd some byasking a few doctors, ministers, priests or hospitals.
They will be only too glad to assist you. Don’t startout as an evangelist or reformer. Unfortunately a lotof prejudice exists. You will be handicapped if you
arouse it. Ministers and doctors are competent andyou can learn much from them if you wish, but it
happens that because of your own drinking experience
you can be uniquely useful to other alcoholics. So
cooperate; never criticize. To be helpful is our onlyaim.
89

Alco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 90

90

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS

When you discover a prospect for Alcoholics Anony­mous, ﬁnd out all you can about him. If he does notwant to stop drinking, don’t waste time trying to per­suade him. You may spoil a later opportunity. This
advice is given for his family also. They should bepatient, realizing they are dealing with a sick person.
If there is any indication that he wants to stop, havea good talk with the person most interested in him—
usually his wife. Get an idea of his behavior, his prob­lems, his background, the seriousness of his condition,and his religious leanings. You need this information
to put yourself in his place, to see how you would likehim to approach you if the tables were turned.
Sometimes it is wise to wait till he goes on a binge.
The family may object to this, but unless he is in adangerous physical condition, it is better to risk it.
Don’t deal with him when he is very drunk, unless heis ugly and the family needs your help. Wait for theend of the spree, or at least for a lucid interval. Then
let his family or a friend ask him if he wants to quit
for good and if he would go to any extreme to do so.
If he says yes, then his attention should be drawn to
you as a person who has recovered. You should be
described to him as one of a fellowship who, as partof their own recovery, try to help others and who will
be glad to talk to him if he cares to see you.
If he does not want to see you, never force yourself
upon him. Neither should the family hystericallyplead with him to do anything, nor should they tell
him much about you. They should wait for the endof his next drinking bout. You might place this bookwhere he can see it in the interval. Here no speciﬁcrule can be given. The family must decide theseAlco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 91

91
things. But urge them not to be over-anxious, for thatmight spoil matters.
Usually the family should not try to tell your story.
When possible, avoid meeting a man through hisfamily. Approach through a doctor or an institution
is a better bet. If your man needs hospitalization, heshould have it, but not forcibly unless he is violent.
Let the doctor, if he will, tell him he has something
in the way of a solution.
When your man is better, the doctor might suggest
a visit from you. Though you have talked with thefamily, leave them out of the ﬁrst discussion. Under
these conditions your prospect will see he is under nopressure. He will feel he can deal with you without
being nagged by his family. Call on him while he isstill jittery. He may be more receptive when de­pressed.
See your man alone, if possible. At ﬁrst engage in
general conversation. After a while, turn the talk tosome phase of drinking. Tell him enough about yourdrinking habits, symptoms, and experiences to encour­
age him to speak of himself. If he wishes to talk, let
him do so. You will thus get a better idea of how you
ought to proceed. If he is not communicative, givehim a sketch of your drinking career up to the time
you quit. But say nothing, for the moment, of howthat was accomplished. If he is in a serious mooddwell on the troubles liquor has caused you, being
careful not to moralize or lecture. If his mood is light,
tell him humorous stories of your escapades. Get him
to tell some of his.
When he sees you know all about the drinking
game, commence to describe yourself as an alcoholic.
WORKING WITH OTHERS

Alco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 92

92
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS
Tell him how baffled you were, how you finallylearned that you were sick. Give him an account of
the struggles you made to stop. Show him the mental
twist which leads to the ﬁrst drink of a spree. We
suggest you do this as we have done it in the chapter
on alcoholism. If he is alcoholic, he will understandyou at once. He will match your mental inconsisten­cies with some of his own.
If you are satisﬁed that he is a real alcoholic, begin
to dwell on the hopeless feature of the malady. Showhim, from your own experience, how the queer mental
condition surrounding that ﬁrst drink prevents normal
functioning of the will power. Don’t, at this stage,refer to this book, unless he has seen it and wishes todiscuss it. And be careful not to brand him as an
alcoholic. Let him draw his own conclusion. If he
sticks to the idea that he can still control his drinking,tell him that possibly he can—if he is not too alcoholic.
But insist that if he is severely afﬂicted, there may belittle chance he can recover by himself.
Continue to speak of alcoholism as an illness, a fatal
malady. Talk about the conditions of body and mind
which accompany it. Keep his attention focussed
mainly on your personal experience. Explain that many
are doomed who never realize their predicament.
Doctors are rightly loath to tell alcoholic patients thewhole story unless it will serve some good purpose.
But you may talk to him about the hopelessness of
alcoholism because you offer a solution. You willsoon have your friend admitting he has many, if notall, of the traits of the alcoholic. If his own doctor
is willing to tell him that he is alcoholic, so much thebetter. Even though your protégé may not have en­Alco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 93

93
tirely admitted his condition, he has become very
curious to know how you got well. Let him ask youthat question, if he will. Tell him exactly what hap­
pened to you. Stress the spiritual feature freely. If
the man be agnostic or atheist, make it emphatic that
he does not have to agree with your conception ofGod. He can choose any conception he likes, provided
it makes sense to him. The main thing is that he bewilling to believe in a Power greater than himself andthat he live by spiritual principles.
When dealing with such a person, you had betteruse everyday language to describe spiritual principles.
There is no use arousing any prejudice he may haveagainst certain theological terms and conceptions
about which he may already be confused. Don’t
raise such issues, no matter what your own convictions
are.
Your prospect may belong to a religious denomina­tion. His religious education and training may be far
superior to yours. In that case he is going to wonder
how you can add anything to what he already knows.
But he will be curious to learn why his own convictions
have not worked and why yours seem to work so well.
He may be an example of the truth that faith alone isinsufﬁcient. To be vital, faith must be accompanied
by self sacriﬁce and unselﬁsh, constructive action. Let
him see that you are not there to instruct him in re­ligion. Admit that he probably knows more about itthan you do, but call to his attention the fact that
however deep his faith and knowledge, he could nothave applied it or he would not drink. Perhaps yourstory will help him see where he has failed to practicethe very precepts he knows so well. We represent no
WORKING WITH OTHERS

Alco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 94

94
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS
particular faith or denomination. We are dealing onlywith general principles common to most denomina­
tions.
Outline the program of action, explaining how you
made a self-appraisal, how you straightened out yourpast and why you are now endeavoring to be helpful
to him. It is important for him to realize that yourattempt to pass this on to him plays a vital part inyour own recovery. Actually, he may be helping you
more than you are helping him. Make it plain he isunder no obligation to you, that you hope only that
he will try to help other alcoholics when he escapes
his own difﬁculties. Suggest how important it is thathe place the welfare of other people ahead of his own.
Make it clear that he is not under pressure, that heneedn’t see you again if he doesn’t want to. You
should not be offended if he wants to call it off, forhe has helped you more than you have helped him.
If your talk has been sane, quiet and full of humanunderstanding, you have perhaps made a friend.
Maybe you have disturbed him about the question of
alcoholism. This is all to the good. The more hope­less he feels, the better. He will be more likely tofollow your suggestions.
Your candidate may give reasons why he need not
follow all of the program. He may rebel at the thoughtof a drastic housecleaning which requires discussion
with other people. Do not contradict such views. Tell
him you once felt as he does, but you doubt whether
you would have made much progress had you nottaken action. On your ﬁrst visit tell him about theFellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous. If he showsinterest, lend him your copy of this book.

Alco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 95

95
Unless your friend wants to talk further about him­self, do not wear out your welcome. Give him achance to think it over. If you do stay, let him steer
the conversation in any direction he likes. Sometimes
a new man is anxious to proceed at once, and you may
be tempted to let him do so. This is sometimes a mis­take. If he has trouble later, he is likely to say you
rushed him. You will be most successful with alco­
holics if you do not exhibit any passion for crusade orreform. Never talk down to an alcoholic from any
moral or spiritual hilltop; simply lay out the kit ofspiritual tools for his inspection. Show him how they
worked with you. Offer him friendship and fellow­
ship. Tell him that if he wants to get well you will doanything to help.
If he is not interested in your solution, if he expects
you to act only as a banker for his ﬁnancial difﬁculties
or a nurse for his sprees, you may have to drop him
until he changes his mind. This he may do after hegets hurt some more.
If he is sincerely interested and wants to see you
again, ask him to read this book in the interval. After
doing that, he must decide for himself whether hewants to go on. He should not be pushed or prodded
by you, his wife, or his friends. If he is to ﬁnd God,the desire must come from within.
If he thinks he can do the job in some other way, or
prefers some other spiritual approach, encourage him
to follow his own conscience. We have no monopoly
on God; we merely have an approach that worked
with us. But point out that we alcoholics have muchin common and that you would like, in any case, tobe friendly. Let it go at that.
WORKING WITH OTHERS

Alco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 96

96

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS

Do not be discouraged if your prospect does not re­
spond at once. Search out another alcoholic and try
again. You are sure to ﬁnd someone desperate enoughto accept with eagerness what you offer. We ﬁnd it awaste of time to keep chasing a man who cannot orwill not work with you. If you leave such a person
alone, he may soon become convinced that he cannot
recover by himself. To spend too much time on any
one situation is to deny some other alcoholic an op­
portunity to live and be happy. One of our Fellowshipfailed entirely with his ﬁrst half dozen prospects. He
often says that if he had continued to work on them,he might have deprived many others, who have since
recovered, of their chance.
Suppose now you are making your second visit to aman. He has read this volume and says he is prepared
to go through with the Twelve Steps of the program ofrecovery. Having had the experience yourself, you
can give him much practical advice. Let him know
you are available if he wishes to make a decision andtell his story, but do not insist upon it if he prefers to
consult someone else.
He may be broke and homeless. If he is, you might
try to help him about getting a job, or give him a little
ﬁnancial assistance. But you should not deprive yourfamily or creditors of money they should have. Per­
haps you will want to take the man into your home fora few days. But be sure you use discretion. Be certain
he will be welcomed by your family, and that he is
not trying to impose upon you for money, connections,or shelter. Permit that and you only harm him. You
will be making it possible for him to be insincere.

Alco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 97

97
You may be aiding in his destruction rather than his
recovery.
Never avoid these responsibilities, but be sure you
are doing the right thing if you assume them. Helping
others is the foundation stone of your recovery. A
kindly act once in a while isn’t enough. You have to
act the Good Samaritan every day, if need be. It may
mean the loss of many nights’ sleep, great interferencewith your pleasures, interruptions to your business. It
may mean sharing your money and your home, coun­
seling frantic wives and relatives, innumerable trips
to police courts, sanitariums, hospitals, jails andasylums. Your telephone may jangle at any time ofthe day or night. Your wife may sometimes say she
is neglected. A drunk may smash the furniture in yourhome, or burn a mattress. You may have to ﬁght with
him if he is violent. Sometimes you will have to calla doctor and administer sedatives under his direction.
Another time you may have to send for the police oran ambulance. Occasionally you will have to meetsuch conditions.
We seldom allow an alcoholic to live in our homes
for long at a time. It is not good for him, and it some­times creates serious complications in a family.
Though an alcoholic does not respond, there is no
reason why you should neglect his family. You should
continue to be friendly to them. The family should beoffered your way of life. Should they accept andpractice spiritual principles, there is a much betterchance that the head of the family will recover. Andeven though he continues to drink, the family will ﬁnd
life more bearable.
For the type of alcoholic who is able and willing to
WORKING WITH OTHERS

Alco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 98

98
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS
get well, little charity, in the ordinary sense of theword, is needed or wanted. The men who cry formoney and shelter before conquering alcohol, are on
the wrong track. Yet we do go to great extremes toprovide each other with these very things, when suchaction is warranted. This may seem inconsistent, but
we think it is not.
It is not the matter of giving that is in question, butwhen and how to give. That often makes the differ­ence between failure and success. The minute we put
our work on a service plane, the alcoholic commences
to rely upon our assistance rather than upon God. He
clamors for this or that, claiming he cannot masteralcohol until his material needs are cared for. Non­sense. Some of us have taken very hard knocks tolearn this truth: Job or no job—wife or no wife—we
simply do not stop drinking so long as we place de­pendence upon other people ahead of dependence on
God.
Burn the idea into the consciousness of every man
that he can get well regardless of anyone. The only
condition is that he trust in God and clean house.
Now, the domestic problem: There may be divorce,
separation, or just strained relations. When your pros­
pect has made such reparation as he can to his family,
and has thoroughly explained to them the new princi­
ples by which he is living, he should proceed to put
those principles into action at home. That is, if he is
lucky enough to have a home. Though his family be at
fault in many respects, he should not be concerned
about that. He should concentrate on his own spiri­tual demonstration. Argument and fault-ﬁnding are to
be avoided like the plague. In many homes this is a

Alco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 99

99
difﬁcult thing to do, but it must be done if any results
are to be expected. If persisted in for a few months,
the effect on a man’s family is sure to be great. The
most incompatible people discover they have a basis
upon which they can meet. Little by little the family
may see their own defects and admit them. These canthen be discussed in an atmosphere of helpfulness andfriendliness.
After they have seen tangible results, the family will
perhaps want to go along. These things will cometo pass naturally and in good time provided, however,
the alcoholic continues to demonstrate that he can besober, considerate, and helpful, regardless of whatanyone says or does. Of course, we all fall much be­
low this standard many times. But we must try torepair the damage immediately lest we pay the penalty
by a spree.
If there be divorce or separation, there should be noundue haste for the couple to get together. The man
should be sure of his recovery. The wife should fully
understand his new way of life. If their old relation­
ship is to be resumed it must be on a better basis,
since the former did not work. This means a newattitude and spirit all around. Sometimes it is to thebest interests of all concerned that a couple remain
apart. Obviously, no rule can be laid down. Let thealcoholic continue his program day by day. When thetime for living together has come, it will be apparent
to both parties.
Let no alcoholic say he cannot recover unless he has
his family back. This just isn’t so. In some cases thewife will never come back for one reason or another.
Remind the prospect that his recovery is not depen­
WORKING WITH OTHERS

Alco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 100100
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS
dent upon people. It is dependent upon his relation­
ship with God. We have seen men get well whosefamilies have not returned at all. We have seen others
slip when the family came back too soon.
Both you and the new man must walk day by day inthe path of spiritual progress. If you persist, remark­able things will happen. When we look back, we
realize that the things which came to us when we put
ourselves in God’s hands were better than anything
we could have planned. Follow the dictates of aHigher Power and you will presently live in a new
and wonderful world, no matter what your present
circumstances!
When working with a man and his family, you
should take care not to participate in their quarrels.
You may spoil your chance of being helpful if you do.
But urge upon a man’s family that he has been a very
sick person and should be treated accordingly. You
should warn against arousing resentment or jealousy.
You should point out that his defects of character are
not going to disappear over night. Show them that
he has entered upon a period of growth. Ask them toremember, when they are impatient, the blessed factof his sobriety.
If you have been successful in solving your own
domestic problems, tell the newcomer’s family howthat was accomplished. In this way you can set themon the right track without becoming critical of them.
The story of how you and your wife settled yourdifﬁculties is worth any amount of criticism.
Assuming we are spiritually ﬁt, we can do all sortsof things alcoholics are not supposed to do. People
have said we must not go where liquor is served; weAlco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 101

101
must not have it in our homes; we must shun friends
who drink; we must avoid moving pictures whichshow drinking scenes; we must not go into bars; ourfriends must hide their bottles if we go to their houses;
we mustn’t think or be reminded about alcohol at all.
Our experience shows that this is not necessarily so.
We meet these conditions every day. An alcoholic
who cannot meet them, still has an alcoholic mind;
there is something the matter with his spiritual status.
His only chance for sobriety would be some place likethe Greenland Ice Cap, and even there an Eskimo
might turn up with a bottle of scotch and ruin every­
thing! Ask any woman who has sent her husband to
distant places on the theory he would escape thealcohol problem.
In our belief any scheme of combating alcoholism
which proposes to shield the sick man from temptation
is doomed to failure. If the alcoholic tries to shieldhimself he may succeed for a time, but he usuallywinds up with a bigger explosion than ever. We have
tried these methods. These attempts to do the im­possible have always failed.
So our rule is not to avoid a place where there isdrinking, if we have a legitimate reason for being
there. That includes bars, nightclubs, dances, recep­
tions, weddings, even plain ordinary whoopee parties.
To a person who has had experience with an alcoholic,this may seem like tempting Providence, but it isn’t.
You will note that we made an important qualiﬁca­tion. Therefore, ask yourself on each occasion, “HaveI any good social, business, or personal reason for go­
ing to this place? Or am I expecting to steal a little
vicarious pleasure from the atmosphere of such
WORKING WITH OTHERS

Alco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 102

102
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS
places?” If you answer these questions satisfactorily,
you need have no apprehension. Go or stay away,
whichever seems best. But be sure you are on solid
spiritual ground before you start and that your motive
in going is thoroughly good. Do not think of what
you will get out of the occasion. Think of what you
can bring to it. But if you are shaky, you had better
work with another alcoholic instead!
Why sit with a long face in places where there isdrinking, sighing about the good old days. If it is a
happy occasion, try to increase the pleasure of those
there; if a business occasion, go and attend to yourbusiness enthusiastically. If you are with a person who
wants to eat in a bar, by all means go along. Let yourfriends know they are not to change their habits on
your account. At a proper time and place explain to
all your friends why alcohol disagrees with you. If
you do this thoroughly, few people will ask you todrink. While you were drinking, you were withdraw­
ing from life little by little. Now you are getting backinto the social life of this world. Don’t start to with­draw again just because your friends drink liquor.
Your job now is to be at the place where you may beof maximum helpfulness to others, so never hesitate to
go anywhere if you can be helpful. You should nothesitate to visit the most sordid spot on earth on suchan errand. Keep on the ﬁring line of life with thesemotives and God will keep you unharmed.
Many of us keep liquor in our homes. We often
need it to carry green recruits through a severe hang­over. Some of us still serve it to our friends provided
they are not alcoholic. But some of us think we should
not serve liquor to anyone. We never argue this ques­Alco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 103

103tion. We feel that each family, in the light of theirown circumstances, ought to decide for themselves.
We are careful never to show intolerance or hatredof drinking as an institution. Experience shows thatsuch an attitude is not helpful to anyone. Every new
alcoholic looks for this spirit among us and is im­mensely relieved when he ﬁnds we are not witchburners. A spirit of intolerance might repel alcoholics
whose lives could have been saved, had it not been forsuch stupidity. We would not even do the cause of
temperate drinking any good, for not one drinker ina thousand likes to be told anything about alcohol by
one who hates it.
Some day we hope that Alcoholics Anonymous will
help the public to a better realization of the gravityof the alcoholic problem, but we shall be of little use
if our attitude is one of bitterness or hostility. Drinkers
will not stand for it.
After all, our problems were of our own making.
Bottles were only a symbol. Besides, we have stopped
ﬁghting anybody or anything. We have to!
WORKING WITH OTHERS

Alco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 104

Chapter 8

TO WIVES*W

ith few exceptions, our book thus far has
spoken of men. But what we have said applies
quite as much to women. Our activities in behalf ofwomen who drink are on the increase. There is every
evidence that women regain their health as readily as
men if they try our suggestions.
But for every man who drinks others are involved—
the wife who trembles in fear of the next debauch; themother and father who see their son wasting away.
Among us are wives, relatives and friends whose
problem has been solved, as well as some who have
not yet found a happy solution. We want the wives of
Alcoholics Anonymous to address the wives of men
who drink too much. What they say will apply tonearly everyone bound by ties of blood or affection toan alcoholic.
As wives of Alcoholics Anonymous, we would like
you to feel that we understand as perhaps few can.
We want to analyze mistakes we have made. We wantto leave you with the feeling that no situation is too
difﬁcult and no unhappiness too great to be overcome.
We have traveled a rocky road, there is no mistake
about that. We have had long rendezvous with hurt
pride, frustration, self-pity, misunderstanding and fear.
These are not pleasant companions. We have been
* Written in 1939, when there were few women in A.A., this chapter
assumes that the alcoholic in the home is likely to be the husband. But
many of the suggestions given here may be adapted to help the person
who lives with a woman alcoholic—whether she is still drinking or is re­covering in A.A. A further source of help is noted on page 121.

104

Alco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 105

105
driven to maudlin sympathy, to bitter resentment.
Some of us veered from extreme to extreme, everhoping that one day our loved ones would be them­selves once more.
Our loyalty and the desire that our husbands holdup their heads and be like other men have begotten
all sorts of predicaments. We have been unselﬁsh andself-sacrificing. We have told innumerable lies toprotect our pride and our husbands’ reputations. We
have prayed, we have begged, we have been patient.
We have struck out viciously. We have run away. We
have been hysterical. We have been terror stricken.
We have sought sympathy. We have had retaliatory
love affairs with other men.
Our homes have been battle-grounds many anevening. In the morning we have kissed and made up.
Our friends have counseled chucking the men and wehave done so with ﬁnality, only to be back in a little
while hoping, always hoping. Our men have sworn
great solemn oaths that they were through drinking
forever. We have believed them when no one else
could or would. Then, in days, weeks, or months, afresh outburst.
We seldom had friends at our homes, never know­
ing how or when the men of the house would appear.
We could make few social engagements. We came tolive almost alone. When we were invited out, ourhusbands sneaked so many drinks that they spoiled
the occasion. If, on the other hand, they took nothing,
their self-pity made them killjoys.
There was never ﬁnancial security. Positions werealways in jeopardy or gone. An armored car could
TO WIVES

Alco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 106

106
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS
not have brought the pay envelopes home. The
checking account melted like snow in June.
Sometimes there were other women. How heart­breaking was this discovery; how cruel to be told they
understood our men as we did not!
The bill collectors, the sheriffs, the angry taxi
drivers, the policemen, the bums, the pals, and eventhe ladies they sometimes brought home—our hus­
bands thought we were so inhospitable. “Joykiller,nag, wet blanket”—that’s what they said. Next day
they would be themselves again and we would forgive
and try to forget.
We have tried to hold the love of our children for
their father. We have told small tots that father was
sick, which was much nearer the truth than werealized. They struck the children, kicked out door
panels, smashed treasured crockery, and ripped thekeys out of pianos. In the midst of such pandemonium
they may have rushed out threatening to live with theother woman forever. In desperation, we have even
got tight ourselves—the drunk to end all drunks. The
unexpected result was that our husbands seemed tolike it.
Perhaps at this point we got a divorce and took thechildren home to father and mother. Then we wereseverely criticized by our husband’s parents for deser­tion. Usually we did not leave. We stayed on and on.
We ﬁnally sought employment ourselves as destitution
faced us and our families.
We began to ask medical advice as the sprees got
closer together. The alarming physical and mental
symptoms, the deepening pall of remorse, depression
and inferiority that settled down on our loved ones—

Alco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 107

107
these things terriﬁed and distracted us. As animals ona treadmill, we have patiently and wearily climbed,
falling back in exhaustion after each futile effort toreach solid ground. Most of us have entered the ﬁnal
stage with its commitment to health resorts, sanitari­ums, hospitals, and jails. Sometimes there werescreaming delirium and insanity. Death was often
near.
Under these conditions we naturally made mistakes.
Some of them rose out of ignorance of alcoholism.
Sometimes we sensed dimly that we were dealing withsick men. Had we fully understood the nature of thealcoholic illness, we might have behaved differently.
How could men who loved their wives and children
be so unthinking, so callous, so cruel? There could be
no love in such persons, we thought. And just as wewere being convinced of their heartlessness, theywould surprise us with fresh resolves and new atten­
tions. For a while they would be their old sweet
selves, only to dash the new structure of affection topieces once more. Asked why they commenced todrink again, they would reply with some silly excuse,or none. It was so bafﬂing, so heartbreaking. Could
we have been so mistaken in the men we married?
When drinking, they were strangers. Sometimes they
were so inaccessible that it seemed as though a great
wall had been built around them.
And even if they did not love their families, how
could they be so blind about themselves? What had
become of their judgment, their common sense, theirwill power? Why could they not see that drink meantruin to them? Why was it, when these dangers were
TO WIVES

Alco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 108

108
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS
pointed out that they agreed, and then got drunk
again immediately?
These are some of the questions which race throughthe mind of every woman who has an alcoholic hus­
band. We hope this book has answered some of them.
Perhaps your husband has been living in that strange
world of alcoholism where everything is distorted andexaggerated. You can see that he really does love
you with his better self. Of course, there is such athing as incompatibility, but in nearly every instancethe alcoholic only seems to be unloving and incon­siderate; it is usually because he is warped and sick­ened that he says and does these appalling things.
Today most of our men are better husbands andfathers than ever before.
Try not to condemn your alcoholic husband nomatter what he says or does. He is just another very
sick, unreasonable person. Treat him, when you can,as though he had pneumonia. When he angers you,remember that he is very ill.
There is an important exception to the foregoing.
We realize some men are thoroughly bad-intentioned,
that no amount of patience will make any difference.
An alcoholic of this temperament may be quick to use
this chapter as a club over your head. Don’t let him
get away with it. If you are positive he is one of thistype you may feel you had better leave. Is it right tolet him ruin your life and the lives of your children?
Especially when he has before him a way to stop his
drinking and abuse if he really wants to pay the price.
The problem with which you struggle usually falls
within one of four categories:
One: Your husband may be only a heavy drinker.

Alco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 109

109
His drinking may be constant or it may be heavy only
on certain occasions. Perhaps he spends too muchmoney for liquor. It may be slowing him up mentallyand physically, but he does not see it. Sometimes heis a source of embarrassment to you and his friends.
He is positive he can handle his liquor, that it does
him no harm, that drinking is necessary in his business.
He would probably be insulted if he were called an
alcoholic. This world is full of people like him. Somewill moderate or stop altogether, and some will not.
Of those who keep on, a good number will becometrue alcoholics after a while.
Two: Your husband is showing lack of control, for
he is unable to stay on the water wagon even when hewants to. He often gets entirely out of hand when
drinking. He admits this is true, but is positive that hewill do better. He has begun to try, with or without
your cooperation, various means of moderating or
staying dry. Maybe he is beginning to lose his friends.
His business may suffer somewhat. He is worried attimes, and is becoming aware that he cannot drink
like other people. He sometimes drinks in the morn­ing and through the day also, to hold his nervousness
in check. He is remorseful after serious drinking
bouts and tells you he wants to stop. But when hegets over the spree, he begins to think once more how
he can drink moderately next time. We think thisperson is in danger. These are the earmarks of a realalcoholic. Perhaps he can still tend to business fairly
well. He has by no means ruined everything. As wesay among ourselves, “He wants to want to stop.”Three: This husband has gone much further thanhusband number two. Though once like number two
TO WIVES

Alco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 110

110
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS
he became worse. His friends have slipped away, hishome is a near-wreck and he cannot hold a position.
Maybe the doctor has been called in, and the weary
round of sanitariums and hospitals has begun. He ad­mits he cannot drink like other people, but does not
see why. He clings to the notion that he will yet ﬁnd
a way to do so. He may have come to the point where
he desperately wants to stop but cannot. His case pre­sents additional questions which we shall try to answer
for you. You can be quite hopeful of a situation like
this.
Four: You may have a husband of whom you com­pletely despair. He has been placed in one institution
after another. He is violent, or appears deﬁnitely in­sane when drunk. Sometimes he drinks on the way
home from the hospital. Perhaps he has had delirium
tremens. Doctors may shake their heads and advise
you to have him committed. Maybe you have alreadybeen obliged to put him away. This picture may not
be as dark as it looks. Many of our husbands were
just as far gone. Yet they got well.
Let’s now go back to husband number one. Oddly
enough, he is often difﬁcult to deal with. He enjoys
drinking. It stirs his imagination. His friends feelcloser over a highball. Perhaps you enjoy drinking
with him yourself when he doesn’t go too far. You
have passed happy evenings together chatting anddrinking before your fire. Perhaps you both likeparties which would be dull without liquor. We haveenjoyed such evenings ourselves; we had a good time.
We know all about liquor as a social lubricant. Some,but not all of us, think it has its advantages whenreasonably used.

Alco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 111

111
The ﬁrst principle of success is that you should
never be angry. Even though your husband becomes
unbearable and you have to leave him temporarily,
you should, if you can, go without rancor. Patienceand good temper are most necessary.
Our next thought is that you should never tell him
what he must do about his drinking. If he gets theidea that you are a nag or a killjoy, your chance ofaccomplishing anything useful may be zero. He will
use that as an excuse to drink more. He will tell you
he is misunderstood. This may lead to lonely evenings
for you. He may seek someone else to console him—
not always another man.
Be determined that your husband’s drinking is notgoing to spoil your relations with your children or yourfriends. They need your companionship and yourhelp. It is possible to have a full and useful life,
though your husband continues to drink. We know
women who are unafraid, even happy under these
conditions. Do not set your heart on reforming yourhusband. You may be unable to do so, no matter how
hard you try.
We know these suggestions are sometimes difﬁcult
to follow, but you will save many a heartbreak if you
can succeed in observing them. Your husband may
come to appreciate your reasonableness and patience.
This may lay the groundwork for a friendly talkabout his alcoholic problem. Try to have him bringup the subject himself. Be sure you are not criticalduring such a discussion. Attempt instead, to put
yourself in his place. Let him see that you want to be
helpful rather than critical.
When a discussion does arise, you might suggest he
TO WIVES

Alco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 112

112
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS
read this book or at least the chapter on alcoholism.
Tell him you have been worried, though perhaps need­lessly. You think he ought to know the subject better,as everyone should have a clear understanding of therisk he takes if he drinks too much. Show him you
have conﬁdence in his power to stop or moderate.
Say you do not want to be a wet blanket; that you only
want him to take care of his health. Thus you may
succeed in interesting him in alcoholism.
He probably has several alcoholics among his own
acquaintances. You might suggest that you both takean interest in them. Drinkers like to help other drink­ers. Your husband may be willing to talk to one ofthem.
If this kind of approach does not catch your husband’s interest, it may be best to drop the subject, but
after a friendly talk your husband will usually revive
the topic himself. This may take patient waiting, but
it will be worth it. Meanwhile you might try to help
the wife of another serious drinker. If you act uponthese principles, your husband may stop or moderate.
Suppose, however, that your husband ﬁts the de­scription of number two. The same principles which
apply to husband number one should be practiced.
But after his next binge, ask him if he would reallylike to get over drinking for good. Do not ask that hedo it for you or anyone else. Just would he like to?
The chances are he would. Show him your copy ofthis book and tell him what you have found out aboutalcoholism. Show him that as alcoholics, the writersof the book understand. Tell him some of the interest­
ing stories you have read. If you think he will be shyof a spiritual remedy, ask him to look at the chapter onAlco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 113

113
alcoholism. Then perhaps he will be interested enoughto continue.
If he is enthusiastic your cooperation will mean agreat deal. If he is lukewarm or thinks he is not an
alcoholic, we suggest you leave him alone. Avoid urg­
ing him to follow our program. The seed has beenplanted in his mind. He knows that thousands ofmen, much like himself, have recovered. But don’t re­mind him of this after he has been drinking, for hemay be angry. Sooner or later, you are likely to ﬁnd
him reading the book once more. Wait until repeatedstumbling convinces him he must act, for the more
you hurry him the longer his recovery may be delayed.
If you have a number three husband, you may be inluck. Being certain he wants to stop, you can go to
him with this volume as joyfully as though you had
struck oil. He may not share your enthusiasm, but heis practically sure to read the book and he may go forthe program at once. If he does not, you will probably
not have long to wait. Again, you should not crowd
him. Let him decide for himself. Cheerfully see him
through more sprees. Talk about his condition or thisbook only when he raises the issue. In some cases it
may be better to let someone outside the family pre­sent the book. They can urge action without arousing
hostility. If your husband is otherwise a normal in­
dividual, your chances are good at this stage.
You would suppose that men in the fourth classiﬁ­
cation would be quite hopeless, but that is not so.
Many of Alcoholics Anonymous were like that. Every­
body had given them up. Defeat seemed certain. Yet
often such men had spectacular and powerful recov­
eries.
TO WIVES

Alco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 114

114
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS
There are exceptions. Some men have been so im­paired by alcohol that they cannot stop. Sometimes
there are cases where alcoholism is complicated byother disorders. A good doctor or psychiatrist can tell
you whether these complications are serious. In any
event, try to have your husband read this book. His
reaction may be one of enthusiasm. If he is alreadycommitted to an institution, but can convince you andyour doctor that he means business, give him a chance
to try our method, unless the doctor thinks his mental
condition too abnormal or dangerous. We make thisrecommendation with some conﬁdence. For years wehave been working with alcoholics committed to in­stitutions. Since this book was ﬁrst published, A.A.
has released thousands of alcoholics from asylums andhospitals of every kind. The majority have never re­turned. The power of God goes deep!
You may have the reverse situation on your hands.
Perhaps you have a husband who is at large, but who
should be committed. Some men cannot or will not
get over alcoholism. When they become too danger­ous, we think the kind thing is to lock them up, but ofcourse a good doctor should always be consulted. The
wives and children of such men suffer horribly, but
not more than the men themselves.
But sometimes you must start life anew. We know
women who have done it. If such women adopt a
spiritual way of life their road will be smoother.
If your husband is a drinker, you probably worry
over what other people are thinking and you hate tomeet your friends. You draw more and more intoyourself and you think everyone is talking about con­ditions at your home. You avoid the subject of drink­Alco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 115

115ing, even with your own parents. You do not knowwhat to tell the children. When your husband is bad,you become a trembling recluse, wishing the tele­phone had never been invented.
We ﬁnd that most of this embarrassment is unnec­
essary. While you need not discuss your husband at
length, you can quietly let your friends know the na­
ture of his illness. But you must be on guard not toembarrass or harm your husband.
When you have carefully explained to such people
that he is a sick person, you will have created a new
atmosphere. Barriers which have sprung up between
you and your friends will disappear with the growthof sympathetic understanding. You will no longer be
self-conscious or feel that you must apologize as
though your husband were a weak character. He may
be anything but that. Your new courage, good natureand lack of self-consciousness will do wonders for yousocially.
The same principle applies in dealing with the chil­dren. Unless they actually need protection from theirfather, it is best not to take sides in any argument he
has with them while drinking. Use your energies topromote a better understanding all around. Then that
terrible tension which grips the home of every prob­
lem drinker will be lessened.
Frequently, you have felt obliged to tell your husband’s employer and his friends that he was sick, when
as a matter of fact he was tight. Avoid answering these
inquiries as much as you can. Whenever possible, let
your husband explain. Your desire to protect him
should not cause you to lie to people when they havea right to know where he is and what he is doing. Dis­TO WIVES

Alco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 116

116
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS
cuss this with him when he is sober and in good spirits.
Ask him what you should do if he places you in sucha position again. But be careful not to be resentful
about the last time he did so.
There is another paralyzing fear. You may be afraid
your husband will lose his position; you are thinkingof the disgrace and hard times which will befall you
and the children. This experience may come to you.
Or you may already have had it several times. Should
it happen again, regard it in a different light. Maybeit will prove a blessing! It may convince your husband
he wants to stop drinking forever. And now you knowthat he can stop if he will! Time after time, this ap­
parent calamity has been a boon to us, for it opened
up a path which led to the discovery of God.
We have elsewhere remarked how much better life
is when lived on a spiritual plane. If God can solve theage-old riddle of alcoholism, He can solve your prob­
lems too. We wives found that, like everybody else,
we were afﬂicted with pride, self-pity, vanity and all
the things which go to make up the self-centered per­son; and we were not above selﬁshness or dishonesty.
As our husbands began to apply spiritual principles intheir lives, we began to see the desirability of doing sotoo.
At ﬁrst, some of us did not believe we needed thishelp. We thought, on the whole, we were pretty good
women, capable of being nicer if our husbands stopped
drinking. But it was a silly idea that we were too goodto need God. Now we try to put spiritual principles
to work in every department of our lives. When wedo that, we ﬁnd it solves our problems too; the ensuinglack of fear, worry and hurt feelings is a wonderfulAlco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 117

117
thing. We urge you to try our program, for nothing
will be so helpful to your husband as the radicallychanged attitude toward him which God will show
you how to have. Go along with your husband if you
possibly can.
If you and your husband ﬁnd a solution for thepressing problem of drink you are, of course, going tobe very happy. But all problems will not be solved atonce. Seed has started to sprout in a new soil, but
growth has only begun. In spite of your new-foundhappiness, there will be ups and downs. Many of theold problems will still be with you. This is as it shouldbe.
The faith and sincerity of both you and your hus­
band will be put to the test. These work-outs should
be regarded as part of your education, for thus you
will be learning to live. You will make mistakes, but
if you are in earnest they will not drag you down. In­
stead, you will capitalize them. A better way of life
will emerge when they are overcome.
Some of the snags you will encounter are irritation,
hurt feelings and resentments. Your husband will
sometimes be unreasonable and you will want to crit­icize. Starting from a speck on the domestic horizon,
great thunderclouds of dispute may gather. Thesefamily dissensions are very dangerous, especially toyour husband. Often you must carry the burden of
avoiding them or keeping them under control. Neverforget that resentment is a deadly hazard to an alco­
holic. We do not mean that you have to agree withyour husband whenever there is an honest differenceof opinion. Just be careful not to disagree in a resent­
ful or critical spirit.
TO WIVES

Alco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 118

118
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS
You and your husband will ﬁnd that you can disposeof serious problems easier than you can the trivial
ones. Next time you and he have a heated discussion,no matter what the subject, it should be the privilegeof either to smile and say, “This is getting serious. I’msorry I got disturbed. Let’s talk about it later.” If
your husband is trying to live on a spiritual basis, hewill also be doing everything in his power to avoid
disagreement or contention.
Your husband knows he owes you more than sobri­
ety. He wants to make good. Yet you must not expect
too much. His ways of thinking and doing are thehabits of years. Patience, tolerance, understanding
and love are the watchwords. Show him these thingsin yourself and they will be reﬂected back to you fromhim. Live and let live is the rule. If you both show awillingness to remedy your own defects, there will belittle need to criticize each other.
We women carry with us a picture of the ideal man,the sort of chap we would like our husbands to be. It
is the most natural thing in the world, once his liquor
problem is solved, to feel that he will now measure up
to that cherished vision. The chances are he will notfor, like yourself, he is just beginning his development.
Be patient.
Another feeling we are very likely to entertain is oneof resentment that love and loyalty could not cure ourhusbands of alcoholism. We do not like the thoughtthat the contents of a book or the work of anotheralcoholic has accomplished in a few weeks that for
which we struggled for years. At such moments weforget that alcoholism is an illness over which we could
not possibly have had any power. Your husband will

Alco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 119

119
be the ﬁrst to say it was your devotion and care whichbrought him to the point where he could have a spir­
itual experience. Without you he would have gone topieces long ago. When resentful thoughts come, try topause and count your blessings. After all, your family
is reunited, alcohol is no longer a problem and you
and your husband are working together toward an undreamed-of future.
Still another difﬁculty is that you may become
jealous of the attention he bestows on other people,
especially alcoholics. You have been starving for hiscompanionship, yet he spends long hours helping othermen and their families. You feel he should now be
yours. The fact is that he should work with other peo­
ple to maintain his own sobriety. Sometimes he will
be so interested that he becomes really neglectful.
Your house is ﬁlled with strangers. You may not likesome of them. He gets stirred up about their troubles,
but not at all about yours. It will do little good if you
point that out and urge more attention for yourself.
We ﬁnd it a real mistake to dampen his enthusiasm foralcoholic work. You should join in his efforts as muchas you possibly can. We suggest that you direct someof your thought to the wives of his new alcoholicfriends. They need the counsel and love of a woman
who has gone through what you have.
It is probably true that you and your husband havebeen living too much alone, for drinking many times
isolates the wife of an alcoholic. Therefore, you proba­
bly need fresh interests and a great cause to live foras much as your husband. If you cooperate, rather
than complain, you will ﬁnd that his excess enthusiasm
will tone down. Both of you will awaken to a new
TO WIVES

Alco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 120

120
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS
sense of responsibility for others. You, as well as yourhusband, ought to think of what you can put into life
instead of how much you can take out. Inevitably
your lives will be fuller for doing so. You will lose theold life to ﬁnd one much better.
Perhaps your husband will make a fair start on the
new basis, but just as things are going beautifully hedismays you by coming home drunk. If you are satis­
ﬁed he really wants to get over drinking, you need not
be alarmed. Though it is inﬁnitely better that he haveno relapse at all, as has been true with many of ourmen, it is by no means a bad thing in some cases. Yourhusband will see at once that he must redouble his
spiritual activities if he expects to survive. You need
not remind him of his spiritual deﬁciency—he willknow of it. Cheer him up and ask him how you canbe still more helpful.
The slightest sign of fear or intolerance may lessen
your husband’s chance of recovery. In a weak mo­ment he may take your dislike of his high-stepping
friends as one of those insanely trivial excuses to drink.
We never, never try to arrange a man’s life so as toshield him from temptation. The slightest disposition
on your part to guide his appointments or his affairs so
he will not be tempted will be noticed. Make him feelabsolutely free to come and go as he likes. This isimportant. If he gets drunk, don’t blame yourself.
God has either removed your husband’s liquor prob­
lem or He has not. If not, it had better be found out
right away. Then you and your husband can get rightdown to fundamentals. If a repetition is to be pre­vented, place the problem, along with everything else,
in God’s hands.

Alco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 121

121
We realize that we have been giving you muchdirection and advice. We may have seemed to lecture.
If that is so we are sorry, for we ourselves don’t always
care for people who lecture us. But what we have re­lated is based upon experience, some of it painful. We
had to learn these things the hard way. That is why
we are anxious that you understand, and that you avoid
these unnecessary difﬁculties.*
So to you out there who may soon be with us—wesay “Good luck and God bless you!”
TO WIVES* The fellowship of Al-Anon Family Groups was formed about thirteen years after
this chapter was written. Though it is entirely separate from Alcoholics
Anonymous, it uses the general principles of the A.A. program as a guide forhusbands, wives, relatives, friends, and others close to alcoholics. The foregoing
pages (though addressed only to wives) indicate the problems such people may face.
Alateen, for teen-aged children of alcoholics, is a part of Al-Anon.
If there is no Al-Anon listing in your local telephone book, you may obtain further
information on Al-Anon/Alateen Family Groups by writing to its World
Service Ofﬁce, 1600 Corporate Landing Parkway, Virginia Beach, VA 23454-5617.

Alco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 122

Chapter 9

THE FAMILY AFTERWARD

O

ur women folk have suggested certain atti­
tudes a wife may take with the husband who isrecovering. Perhaps they created the impression that
he is to be wrapped in cotton wool and placed on apedestal. Successful readjustment means the opposite.
All members of the family should meet upon the com­
mon ground of tolerance, understanding and love.
This involves a process of deﬂation. The alcoholic,his wife, his children, his “in-laws,” each one is likely
to have ﬁxed ideas about the family’s attitude towards
himself or herself. Each is interested in having his or
her wishes respected. We ﬁnd the more one memberof the family demands that the others concede to him,
the more resentful they become. This makes for dis­cord and unhappiness.
And why? Is it not because each wants to play thelead? Is not each trying to arrange the family show to
his liking? Is he not unconsciously trying to see what
he can take from the family life rather than give?
Cessation of drinking is but the ﬁrst step away froma highly strained, abnormal condition. A doctor said
to us, “Years of living with an alcoholic is almost sure
to make any wife or child neurotic. The entire family
is, to some extent, ill.” Let families realize, as they
start their journey, that all will not be fair weather.
Each in his turn may be footsore and may straggle.
122

Alco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 123

123
There will be alluring shortcuts and by-paths down
which they may wander and lose their way.
Suppose we tell you some of the obstacles a family
will meet; suppose we suggest how they may be
avoided—even converted to good use for others. The
family of an alcoholic longs for the return of happinessand security. They remember when father was ro­
mantic, thoughtful and successful. Today’s life ismeasured against that of other years and, when it falls
short, the family may be unhappy.
Family conﬁdence in dad is rising high. The goodold days will soon be back, they think. Sometimes
they demand that dad bring them back instantly!
God, they believe, almost owes this recompense on along overdue account. But the head of the house has
spent years in pulling down the structures of business,romance, friendship, health—these things are now
ruined or damaged. It will take time to clear away the
wreck. Though old buildings will eventually be re­placed by ﬁner ones, the new structures will take years
to complete.
Father knows he is to blame; it may take him manyseasons of hard work to be restored ﬁnancially, but heshouldn’t be reproached. Perhaps he will never havemuch money again. But the wise family will admire
him for what he is trying to be, rather than for what
he is trying to get.
Now and then the family will be plagued by spectresfrom the past, for the drinking career of almost every
alcoholic has been marked by escapades, funny, hu­
miliating, shameful or tragic. The ﬁrst impulse will be
to bury these skeletons in a dark closet and padlock
the door. The family may be possessed by the idea
THE FAMILY AFTERWARD

Alco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 124

124
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS
that future happiness can be based only upon forget­
fulness of the past. We think that such a view is selfcentered and in direct conﬂict with the new way ofliving.
Henry Ford once made a wise remark to the effectthat experience is the thing of supreme value in life.
That is true only if one is willing to turn the past togood account. We grow by our willingness to faceand rectify errors and convert them into assets. The
alcoholic’s past thus becomes the principal asset of thefamily and frequently it is almost the only one!
This painful past may be of inﬁnite value to otherfamilies still struggling with their problem. We think
each family which has been relieved owes something
to those who have not, and when the occasion re­quires, each member of it should be only too willingto bring former mistakes, no matter how grievous, outof their hiding places. Showing others who suffer how
we were given help is the very thing which makes life
seem so worth while to us now. Cling to the thought
that, in God’s hands, the dark past is the greatest pos­session you have—the key to life and happiness forothers. With it you can avert death and misery forthem.
It is possible to dig up past misdeeds so they becomea blight, a veritable plague. For example, we know ofsituations in which the alcoholic or his wife have had
love affairs. In the ﬁrst ﬂush of spiritual experience
they forgave each other and drew closer together. The
miracle of reconciliation was at hand. Then, under
one provocation or another, the aggrieved one would
unearth the old affair and angrily cast its ashes about.
A few of us have had these growing pains and they

Alco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 125125hurt a great deal. Husbands and wives have some­times been obliged to separate for a time until new
perspective, new victory over hurt pride could be rewon. In most cases, the alcoholic survived this ordeal
without relapse, but not always. So we think thatunless some good and useful purpose is to be served,
past occurrences should not be discussed.
We families of Alcoholics Anonymous keep few
skeletons in the closet. Everyone knows about theothers’ alcoholic troubles. This is a condition which,in ordinary life, would produce untold grief; there
might be scandalous gossip, laughter at the expense ofother people, and a tendency to take advantage of in­
timate information. Among us, these are rare occur­
rences. We do talk about each other a great deal, but
we almost invariably temper such talk by a spirit oflove and tolerance.
Another principle we observe carefully is that we do
not relate intimate experiences of another person un­
less we are sure he would approve. We ﬁnd it better,when possible, to stick to our own stories. A man may
criticize or laugh at himself and it will affect others
favorably, but criticism or ridicule coming from an­other often produces the contrary effect. Members ofa family should watch such matters carefully, for one
careless, inconsiderate remark has been known to raisethe very devil. We alcoholics are sensitive people. It
takes some of us a long time to outgrow that serious
handicap.
Many alcoholics are enthusiasts. They run to ex­tremes. At the beginning of recovery a man will take,as a rule, one of two directions. He may either plunge
into a frantic attempt to get on his feet in business, or
THE FAMILY AFTERWARD

Alco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 126

126
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS
he may be so enthralled by his new life that he talks
or thinks of little else. In either case certain family
problems will arise. With these we have had experi­ence galore.
We think it dangerous if he rushes headlong at his
economic problem. The family will be affected also,
pleasantly at ﬁrst, as they feel their money troubles
are about to be solved, then not so pleasantly as theyﬁnd themselves neglected. Dad may be tired at night
and preoccupied by day. He may take small interestin the children and may show irritation when reprovedfor his delinquencies. If not irritable, he may seemdull and boring, not gay and affectionate as the family
would like him to be. Mother may complain of inat­
tention. They are all disappointed, and often let him
feel it. Beginning with such complaints, a barrierarises. He is straining every nerve to make up for lost
time. He is striving to recover fortune and reputationand feels he is doing very well.
Sometimes mother and children don’t think so.
Having been neglected and misused in the past, they
think father owes them more than they are getting.
They want him to make a fuss over them. They expect
him to give them the nice times they used to have be­fore he drank so much, and to show his contrition forwhat they suffered. But dad doesn’t give freely ofhimself. Resentment grows. He becomes still lesscommunicative. Sometimes he explodes over a triﬂe.
The family is mystiﬁed. They criticize, pointing out
how he is falling down on his spiritual program.
This sort of thing can be avoided. Both father andthe family are mistaken, though each side may havesome justiﬁcation. It is of little use to argue and only

Alco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 127

127
makes the impasse worse. The family must realize thatdad, though marvelously improved, is still convalesc­
ing. They should be thankful he is sober and able to
be of this world once more. Let them praise his prog­
ress. Let them remember that his drinking wrought
all kinds of damage that may take long to repair. Ifthey sense these things, they will not take so seriously
his periods of crankiness, depression, or apathy, which
will disappear when there is tolerance, love, and spir­
itual understanding.
The head of the house ought to remember that he ismainly to blame for what befell his home. He canscarcely square the account in his lifetime. But hemust see the danger of over-concentration on ﬁnancial
success. Although ﬁnancial recovery is on the way formany of us, we found we could not place money ﬁrst.
For us, material well-being always followed spiritualprogress; it never preceded.
Since the home has suffered more than anythingelse, it is well that a man exert himself there. He is
not likely to get far in any direction if he fails to show
unselﬁshness and love under his own roof. We know
there are difﬁcult wives and families, but the man who
is getting over alcoholism must remember he did muchto make them so.
As each member of a resentful family begins to see
his shortcomings and admits them to the others, helays a basis for helpful discussion. These family talks
will be constructive if they can be carried on without
heated argument, self-pity, self-justiﬁcation or resent­
ful criticism. Little by little, mother and children will
see they ask too much, and father will see he gives too
THE FAMILY AFTERWARD

Alco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 128

128
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS
little. Giving, rather than getting, will become theguiding principle.
Assume on the other hand that father has, at theoutset, a stirring spiritual experience. Overnight, as
it were, he is a different man. He becomes a religious
enthusiast. He is unable to focus on anything else. As
soon as his sobriety begins to be taken as a matter ofcourse, the family may look at their strange new dad
with apprehension, then with irritation. There is talkabout spiritual matters morning, noon and night. He
may demand that the family ﬁnd God in a hurry, or
exhibit amazing indifference to them and say he isabove worldly considerations. He may tell mother,
who has been religious all her life, that she doesn’tknow what it’s all about, and that she had better get
his brand of spirituality while there is yet time.
When father takes this tack, the family may react
unfavorably. They may be jealous of a God who hasstolen dad’s affections. While grateful that he drinks
no more, they may not like the idea that God has ac­complished the miracle where they failed. They often
forget father was beyond human aid. They may not
see why their love and devotion did not straighten
him out. Dad is not so spiritual after all, they say. If
he means to right his past wrongs, why all this concern
for everyone in the world but his family? What about
his talk that God will take care of them? They suspect
father is a bit balmy!
He is not so unbalanced as they might think. Manyof us have experienced dad’s elation. We have in­dulged in spiritual intoxication. Like a gaunt pros­
pector, belt drawn in over the last ounce of food, ourpick struck gold. Joy at our release from a lifetime ofAlco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 129

129
frustration knew no bounds. Father feels he has struck
something better than gold. For a time he may try to
hug the new treasure to himself. He may not see atonce that he has barely scratched a limitless lodewhich will pay dividends only if he mines it for the
rest of his life and insists on giving away the entire
product.
If the family cooperates, dad will soon see that he issuffering from a distortion of values. He will perceivethat his spiritual growth is lopsided, that for an aver­age man like himself, a spiritual life which does notinclude his family obligations may not be so perfect
after all. If the family will appreciate that dad’s cur­rent behavior is but a phase of his development, allwill be well. In the midst of an understanding andsympathetic family, these vagaries of dad’s spiritual
infancy will quickly disappear.
The opposite may happen should the family con­demn and criticize. Dad may feel that for years his
drinking has placed him on the wrong side of every
argument, but that now he has become a superior per­son with God on his side. If the family persists incriticism, this fallacy may take a still greater hold on
father. Instead of treating the family as he should, he
may retreat further into himself and feel he has spiri­tual justiﬁcation for so doing.
Though the family does not fully agree with dad’s
spiritual activities, they should let him have his head.
Even if he displays a certain amount of neglect andirresponsibility towards the family, it is well to let him
go as far as he likes in helping other alcoholics. Dur­ing those ﬁrst days of convalescence, this will do more
to insure his sobriety than anything else. Though
THE FAMILY AFTERWARD

Alco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 130

130
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS
some of his manifestations are alarming and disagree­able, we think dad will be on a ﬁrmer foundation thanthe man who is placing business or professional suc­cess ahead of spiritual development. He will be lesslikely to drink again, and anything is preferable tothat.
Those of us who have spent much time in the worldof spiritual make-believe have eventually seen thechildishness of it. This dream world has been replaced
by a great sense of purpose, accompanied by a grow­ing consciousness of the power of God in our lives.
We have come to believe He would like us to keep ourheads in the clouds with Him, but that our feet ought
to be ﬁrmly planted on earth. That is where our fel­
low travelers are, and that is where our work must be
done. These are the realities for us. We have foundnothing incompatible between a powerful spiritualexperience and a life of sane and happy usefulness.
One more suggestion: Whether the family has spiri­tual convictions or not, they may do well to examine theprinciples by which the alcoholic member is trying tolive. They can hardly fail to approve these simple
principles, though the head of the house still fails
somewhat in practicing them. Nothing will help theman who is off on a spiritual tangent so much as thewife who adopts a sane spiritual program, making abetter practical use of it.
There will be other profound changes in the house­hold. Liquor incapacitated father for so many years
that mother became head of the house. She met these
responsibilities gallantly. By force of circumstances,
she was often obliged to treat father as a sick or way­
ward child. Even when he wanted to assert himself

Alco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 131131
he could not, for his drinking placed him constantlyin the wrong. Mother made all the plans and gave thedirections. When sober, father usually obeyed. Thus
mother, through no fault of her own, became accus­
tomed to wearing the family trousers. Father, coming
suddenly to life again, often begins to assert himself.
This means trouble, unless the family watches forthese tendencies in each other and comes to a friendly
agreement about them.
Drinking isolates most homes from the outside
world. Father may have laid aside for years all normal
activities—clubs, civic duties, sports. When he renews
interest in such things, a feeling of jealousy may arise.
The family may feel they hold a mortgage on dad, so
big that no equity should be left for outsiders. Insteadof developing new channels of activity for themselves,mother and children demand that he stay home andmake up the deﬁciency.
At the very beginning, the couple ought to frankly
face the fact that each will have to yield here andthere if the family is going to play an effective part in
the new life. Father will necessarily spend much timewith other alcoholics, but this activity should bebalanced. New acquaintances who know nothing of
alcoholism might be made and thoughtful considera­tion given their needs. The problems of the commu­
nity might engage attention. Though the family has
no religious connections, they may wish to make con­tact with or take membership in a religious body.
Alcoholics who have derided religious people will
be helped by such contacts. Being possessed of a
spiritual experience, the alcoholic will ﬁnd he hasmuch in common with these people, though he may
THE FAMILY AFTERWARD

Alco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 132

132
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS
differ with them on many matters. If he does notargue about religion, he will make new friends and issure to ﬁnd new avenues of usefulness and pleasure.
He and his family can be a bright spot in such con­gregations. He may bring new hope and new courage
to many a priest, minister, or rabbi, who gives his all
to minister to our troubled world. We intend the fore­
going as a helpful suggestion only. So far as we areconcerned, there is nothing obligatory about it. As
non-denominational people, we cannot make upothers’ minds for them. Each individual should con­sult his own conscience.
We have been speaking to you of serious, sometimes
tragic things. We have been dealing with alcohol in its
worst aspect. But we aren’t a glum lot. If newcomers
could see no joy or fun in our existence, they wouldn’t
want it. We absolutely insist on enjoying life. We try
not to indulge in cynicism over the state of the nations,nor do we carry the world’s troubles on our shoulders.
When we see a man sinking into the mire that is alco­
holism, we give him ﬁrst aid and place what we haveat his disposal. For his sake, we do recount and almost
relive the horrors of our past. But those of us who have
tried to shoulder the entire burden and trouble ofothers ﬁnd we are soon overcome by them.
So we think cheerfulness and laughter make for use­
fulness. Outsiders are sometimes shocked when weburst into merriment over a seemingly tragic experi­ence out of the past. But why shouldn’t we laugh?
We have recovered, and have been given the power
to help others.
Everybody knows that those in bad health, andthose who seldom play, do not laugh much. So letAlco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 133

133
each family play together or separately, as much as
their circumstances warrant. We are sure God wants
us to be happy, joyous, and free. We cannot subscribe
to the belief that this life is a vale of tears, though it
once was just that for many of us. But it is clear that
we made our own misery. God didn’t do it. Avoid
then, the deliberate manufacture of misery, but if
trouble comes, cheerfully capitalize it as an oppor­
tunity to demonstrate His omnipotence.
Now about health: A body badly burned by alcohol
does not often recover overnight nor do twisted think­ing and depression vanish in a twinkling. We are con­vinced that a spiritual mode of living is a most power­
ful health restorative. We, who have recoveredfrom serious drinking, are miracles of mental health. But
we have seen remarkable transformations in ourbodies. Hardly one of our crowd now shows any markof dissipation.
But this does not mean that we disregard humanhealth measures. God has abundantly supplied thisworld with ﬁne doctors, psychologists, and practition­ers of various kinds. Do not hesitate to take yourhealth problems to such persons. Most of them give
freely of themselves, that their fellows may enjoy
sound minds and bodies. Try to remember thatthough God has wrought miracles among us, weshould never belittle a good doctor or psychiatrist.
Their services are often indispensable in treating a
newcomer and in following his case afterward.
One of the many doctors who had the opportunityof reading this book in manuscript form told us thatthe use of sweets was often helpful, of course depend­
ing upon a doctor’s advice. He thought all alcoholics
THE FAMILY AFTERWARD

Alco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 134

134
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS
should constantly have chocolate available for its
quick energy value at times of fatigue. He added thatoccasionally in the night a vague craving arose which
would be satisﬁed by candy. Many of us have noticed
a tendency to eat sweets and have found this practice
beneﬁcial.
A word about sex relations. Alcohol is so sexuallystimulating to some men that they have over-indulged.
Couples are occasionally dismayed to ﬁnd that when
drinking is stopped the man tends to be impotent. Un­less the reason is understood, there may be an emo­
tional upset. Some of us had this experience, only to
enjoy, in a few months, a ﬁner intimacy than ever.
There should be no hesitancy in consulting a doctor or
psychologist if the condition persists. We do notknow of many cases where this difﬁculty lasted long.
The alcoholic may find it hard to re-establish
friendly relations with his children. Their young
minds were impressionable while he was drinking.
Without saying so, they may cordially hate him forwhat he has done to them and to their mother. The
children are sometimes dominated by a pathetic hard­
ness and cynicism. They cannot seem to forgive andforget. This may hang on for months, long after theirmother has accepted dad’s new way of living andthinking.
In time they will see that he is a new man and intheir own way they will let him know it. When thishappens, they can be invited to join in morning med­
itation and then they can take part in the daily discus­
sion without rancor or bias. From that point on,
progress will be rapid. Marvelous results often follow
such a reunion.

Alco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 135

135
Whether the family goes on a spiritual basis or not,the alcoholic member has to if he would recover. The
others must be convinced of his new status beyond the
shadow of a doubt. Seeing is believing to most fam­ilies who have lived with a drinker.
Here is a case in point: One of our friends is a heavy
smoker and coffee drinker. There was no doubt heover-indulged. Seeing this, and meaning to be help­
ful, his wife commenced to admonish him about it. He
admitted he was overdoing these things, but frankly
said that he was not ready to stop. His wife is one ofthose persons who really feels there is somethingrather sinful about these commodities, so she nagged,
and her intolerance ﬁnally threw him into a ﬁt of anger.
He got drunk.
Of course our friend was wrong—dead wrong. He
had to painfully admit that and mend his spiritualfences. Though he is now a most effective member of
Alcoholics Anonymous, he still smokes and drinks
coffee, but neither his wife nor anyone else stands injudgment. She sees she was wrong to make a burning
issue out of such a matter when his more serious ail­ments were being rapidly cured.
We have three little mottoes which are apropos.
Here they are:
THE FAMILY AFTERWARD

First Things First
Live and Let Live
Easy Does It.

Alco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 136

Chapter 10

TO EMPLOYERS

A

mong many employers nowadays, we think of
one member who has spent much of his life in
the world of big business. He has hired and ﬁred hun­dreds of men. He knows the alcoholic as the employer
sees him. His present views ought to prove exception­
ally useful to business men everywhere.
But let him tell you:
I was at one time assistant manager of a corporation
department employing sixty-six hundred men. One
day my secretary came in saying that Mr. B— insisted
on speaking with me. I told her to say that I was notinterested. I had warned him several times that hehad but one more chance. Not long afterward he hadcalled me from Hartford on two successive days, so
drunk he could hardly speak. I told him he wasthrough—ﬁnally and forever.
My secretary returned to say that it was not Mr.
B— on the phone; it was Mr. B—’s brother, and hewished to give me a message. I still expected a plea
for clemency, but these words came through the re­ceiver: “I just wanted to tell you Paul jumped from ahotel window in Hartford last Saturday. He left us anote saying you were the best boss he ever had, andthat you were not to blame in any way.”
Another time, as I opened a letter which lay on my136

Alco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 137

137
desk, a newspaper clipping fell out. It was the obitu­
ary of one of the best salesmen I ever had. After two
weeks of drinking, he had placed his toe on the trigger
of a loaded shotgun—the barrel was in his mouth. I
had discharged him for drinking six weeks before.
Still another experience: A woman’s voice came
faintly over long distance from Virginia. She wanted
to know if her husband’s company insurance was stillin force. Four days before he had hanged himself in
his woodshed. I had been obliged to discharge him
for drinking, though he was brilliant, alert, and one of
the best organizers I have ever known.
Here were three exceptional men lost to this world
because I did not understand alcoholism as I do now.
What irony—I became an alcoholic myself! And but
for the intervention of an understanding person, I
might have followed in their footsteps. My downfall
cost the business community unknown thousands ofdollars, for it takes real money to train a man for an
executive position. This kind of waste goes on un­abated. We think the business fabric is shot throughwith a situation which might be helped by better un­derstanding all around.
Nearly every modern employer feels a moral respon­
sibility for the well-being of his help, and he tries tomeet these responsibilities. That he has not always
done so for the alcoholic is easily understood. To him
the alcoholic has often seemed a fool of the ﬁrst mag­nitude. Because of the employee’s special ability, orof his own strong personal attachment to him, theemployer has sometimes kept such a man at work long
beyond a reasonable period. Some employers have
tried every known remedy. In only a few instances
TO EMPLOYERS

Alco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 138

138
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS
has there been a lack of patience and tolerance. And
we, who have imposed on the best of employers, canscarcely blame them if they have been short with us.
Here, for instance, is a typical example: An ofﬁcer of
one of the largest banking institutions in America
knows I no longer drink. One day he told me about an
executive of the same bank who, from his description,
was undoubtedly alcoholic. This seemed to me like anopportunity to be helpful, so I spent two hours talking
about alcoholism, the malady, and described thesymptoms and results as well as I could. His com­ment was, “Very interesting. But I’m sure this man isdone drinking. He has just returned from a threemonths leave of absence, has taken a cure, looks ﬁne,and to clinch the matter, the board of directors told
him this was his last chance.”
The only answer I could make was that if the man
followed the usual pattern, he would go on a bigger
bust than ever. I felt this was inevitable and wondered
if the bank was doing the man an injustice. Why notbring him into contact with some of our alcoholic
crowd? He might have a chance. I pointed out that I
had had nothing to drink whatever for three years, andthis in the face of difﬁculties that would have madenine out of ten men drink their heads off. Why not atleast afford him an opportunity to hear my story?
“Oh no,” said my friend, “this chap is either throughwith liquor, or he is minus a job. If he has your will
power and guts, he will make the grade.”
I wanted to throw up my hands in discouragement,
for I saw that I had failed to help my banker friend
understand. He simply could not believe that his

Alco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 139139
brother-executive suffered from a serious illness.
There was nothing to do but wait.
Presently the man did slip and was ﬁred. Follow­
ing his discharge, we contacted him. Without muchado, he accepted the principles and procedure that
had helped us. He is undoubtedly on the road to re­covery. To me, this incident illustrates lack of under­
standing as to what really ails the alcoholic, and lackof knowledge as to what part employers might prof­
itably take in salvaging their sick employees.
If you desire to help it might be well to disregard
your own drinking, or lack of it. Whether you are a
hard drinker, a moderate drinker or a teetotaler, you
may have some pretty strong opinions, perhaps preju­
dices. Those who drink moderately may be more an­
noyed with an alcoholic than a total abstainer would
be. Drinking occasionally, and understanding yourown reactions, it is possible for you to become quite
sure of many things which, so far as the alcoholic isconcerned, are not always so. As a moderate drinker,
you can take your liquor or leave it alone. Whenever
you want to, you control your drinking. Of an even­ing, you can go on a mild bender, get up in the morn­ing, shake your head and go to business. To you,liquor is no real problem. You cannot see why itshould be to anyone else, save the spineless and stupid.
When dealing with an alcoholic, there may be anatural annoyance that a man could be so weak,stupid and irresponsible. Even when you understand themalady better, you may feel this feeling rising.
A look at the alcoholic in your organization is manytimes illuminating. Is he not usually brilliant, fastthinking, imaginative and likeable? When sober, does
TO EMPLOYERS

Alco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 140

140
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS
he not work hard and have a knack of getting things
done? If he had these qualities and did not drink
would he be worth retaining? Should he have thesame consideration as other ailing employees? Is heworth salvaging? If your decision is yes, whether thereason be humanitarian or business or both, then thefollowing suggestions may be helpful.
Can you discard the feeling that you are dealing
only with habit, with stubbornness, or a weak will? If
this presents difﬁculty, re-reading chapters two andthree, where the alcoholic sickness is discussed at
length might be worth while. You, as a business man,want to know the necessities before considering theresult. If you concede that your employee is ill, canhe be forgiven for what he has done in the past? Can
his past absurdities be forgotten? Can it be appreci­
ated that he has been a victim of crooked thinking,directly caused by the action of alcohol on his brain?
I well remember the shock I received when aprominent doctor in Chicago told me of cases wherepressure of the spinal ﬂuid actually ruptured thebrain. No wonder an alcoholic is strangely irrational.
Who wouldn’t be, with such a fevered brain? Normal
drinkers are not so affected, nor can they understandthe aberrations of the alcoholic.
Your man has probably been trying to conceal anumber of scrapes, perhaps pretty messy ones. They
may be disgusting. You may be at a loss to understandhow such a seemingly above-board chap could be so
involved. But these scrapes can generally be charged,
no matter how bad, to the abnormal action of alcoholon his mind. When drinking, or getting over a bout,an alcoholic, sometimes the model of honesty when

Alco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 141

141
normal, will do incredible things. Afterward, his
revulsion will be terrible. Nearly always, these antics
indicate nothing more than temporary conditions.
This is not to say that all alcoholics are honest andupright when not drinking. Of course that isn’t so,and such people often may impose on you. Seeing
your attempt to understand and help, some men will
try to take advantage of your kindness. If you are
sure your man does not want to stop, he may as well
be discharged, the sooner the better. You are notdoing him a favor by keeping him on. Firing such anindividual may prove a blessing to him. It may bejust the jolt he needs. I know, in my own particularcase, that nothing my company could have done would
have stopped me for, so long as I was able to hold myposition, I could not possibly realize how serious mysituation was. Had they ﬁred me ﬁrst, and had they
then taken steps to see that I was presented with thesolution contained in this book, I might have returnedto them six months later, a well man.
But there are many men who want to stop, and withthem you can go far. Your understanding treatmentof their cases will pay dividends.
Perhaps you have such a man in mind. He wants toquit drinking and you want to help him, even if it be
only a matter of good business. You now know more
about alcoholism. You can see that he is mentally andphysically sick. You are willing to overlook his past
performances. Suppose an approach is made some­thing like this:State that you know about his drinking, and that it
must stop. You might say you appreciate his abilities,
would like to keep him, but cannot if he continues to
TO EMPLOYERS

Alco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 142

142
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS
drink. A ﬁrm attitude at this point has helped manyof us.
Next he can be assured that you do not intend tolecture, moralize, or condemn; that if this was done
formerly, it was because of misunderstanding. If pos­sible express a lack of hard feeling toward him. At
this point, it might be well to explain alcoholism, theillness. Say that you believe he is a gravely ill per­son, with this qualiﬁcation—being perhaps fatally ill,does he want to get well? You ask, because many
alcoholics, being warped and drugged, do not want toquit. But does he? Will he take every necessary step,
submit to anything to get well, to stop drinking for­ever?
If he says yes, does he really mean it, or down inside
does he think he is fooling you, and that after rest andtreatment he will be able to get away with a few drinks
now and then? We believe a man should be thor­
oughly probed on these points. Be satisﬁed he is notdeceiving himself or you.
Whether you mention this book is a matter for yourdiscretion. If he temporizes and still thinks he canever drink again, even beer, he might as well be dis­charged after the next bender which, if an alcoholic,he is almost certain to have. He should understandthat emphatically. Either you are dealing with a man
who can and will get well or you are not. If not, whywaste time with him? This may seem severe, but it isusually the best course.
After satisfying yourself that your man wants torecover and that he will go to any extreme to do so,
you may suggest a deﬁnite course of action. For mostalcoholics who are drinking, or who are just getting

Alco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 143143
over a spree, a certain amount of physical treatment
is desirable, even imperative. The matter of physicaltreatment should, of course, be referred to yourown doctor. Whatever the method, its object is tothoroughly clear mind and body of the effects of alco­hol. In competent hands, this seldom takes long nor
is it very expensive. Your man will fare better ifplaced in such physical condition that he can thinkstraight and no longer craves liquor. If you propose
such a procedure to him, it may be necessary to ad­vance the cost of treatment, but we believe it should
be made plain that any expense will later be deductedfrom his pay. It is better for him to feel fully respon­sible.
If your man accepts your offer, it should be pointed
out that physical treatment is but a small part of thepicture. Though you are providing him with the best
possible medical attention, he should understand that
he must undergo a change of heart. To get over drink­ing will require a transformation of thought and atti­
tude. We all had to place recovery above everything,
for without recovery we would have lost both homeand business.
Can you have every conﬁdence in his ability torecover? While on the subject of conﬁdence, can you
adopt the attitude that so far as you are concerned
this will be a strictly personal matter, that his alco­
holic derelictions, the treatment about to be under­
taken, will never be discussed without his consent?
It might be well to have a long chat with him on his
return.
To return to the subject matter of this book: It con­tains full suggestions by which the employee may
TO EMPLOYERS

Alco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 144

144
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS
solve his problem. To you, some of the ideas whichit contains are novel. Perhaps you are not quite insympathy with the approach we suggest. By no means
do we offer it as the last word on this subject, but so
far as we are concerned, it has worked with us. Afterall, are you not looking for results rather than meth­ods? Whether your employee likes it or not, he willlearn the grim truth about alcoholism. That won’t
hurt him a bit, even though he does not go for this
remedy.
We suggest you draw the book to the attention of
the doctor who is to attend your patient during treat­
ment. If the book is read the moment the patient isable, while acutely depressed, realization of his condi­tion may come to him.
We hope the doctor will tell the patient the truth
about his condition, whatever that happens to be.
When the man is presented with this volume it is bestthat no one tell him he must abide by its suggestions.
The man must decide for himself.
You are betting, of course, that your changed atti­
tude plus the contents of this book will turn the trick.
In some cases it will, and in others it may not. But
we think that if you persevere, the percentage of suc­cesses will gratify you. As our work spreads and ournumbers increase, we hope your employees may be
put in personal contact with some of us. Meanwhile,
we are sure a great deal can be accomplished by theuse of the book alone.
On your employee’s return, talk with him. Ask him
if he thinks he has the answer. If he feels free todiscuss his problems with you, if he knows you under­

Alco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 145

145
stand and will not be upset by anything he wishes tosay, he will probably be off to a fast start.
In this connection, can you remain undisturbed if
the man proceeds to tell you shocking things? Hemay, for example, reveal that he has padded his ex­pense account or that he has planned to take yourbest customers away from you. In fact, he may say
almost anything if he has accepted our solution which,as you know, demands rigorous honesty. Can you
charge this off as you would a bad account and start
fresh with him? If he owes you money you may wish
to make terms.
If he speaks of his home situation, you can un­
doubtedly make helpful suggestions. Can he talkfrankly with you so long as he does not bear businesstales or criticize his associates? With this kind of em­
ployee such an attitude will command undying loyalty.
The greatest enemies of us alcoholics are resent­
ment, jealousy, envy, frustration, and fear. Wherever
men are gathered together in business there will berivalries and, arising out of these, a certain amount ofofﬁce politics. Sometimes we alcoholics have an ideathat people are trying to pull us down. Often this is
not so at all. But sometimes our drinking will be used
politically.
One instance comes to mind in which a malicious
individual was always making friendly little jokes
about an alcoholic’s drinking exploits. In this way hewas slyly carrying tales. In another case, an alcoholic
was sent to a hospital for treatment. Only a few knewof it at ﬁrst but, within a short time, it was billboarded
throughout the entire company. Naturally this sort ofthing decreased the man’s chance of recovery. The
TO EMPLOYERS

Alco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 146

146
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS
employer can many times protect the victim from thiskind of talk. The employer cannot play favorites, but
he can always defend a man from needless provoca­
tion and unfair criticism.
As a class, alcoholics are energetic people. They
work hard and they play hard. Your man should beon his mettle to make good. Being somewhat weak­
ened, and faced with physical and mental readjust­ment to a life which knows no alcohol, he may overdo.
You may have to curb his desire to work sixteen hours
a day. You may need to encourage him to play oncein a while. He may wish to do a lot for other alco­
holics and something of the sort may come up duringbusiness hours. A reasonable amount of latitude will
be helpful. This work is necessary to maintain his
sobriety.
After your man has gone along without drinking
for a few months, you may be able to make use of his
services with other employees who are giving you thealcoholic run-around—provided, of course, they arewilling to have a third party in the picture. An alco­
holic who has recovered, but holds a relatively un­
important job, can talk to a man with a better position.
Being on a radically different basis of life, he will nevertake advantage of the situation.
Your man may be trusted. Long experience withalcoholic excuses naturally arouses suspicion. When
his wife next calls saying he is sick, you might jump
to the conclusion he is drunk. If he is, and is stilltrying to recover, he will tell you about it even if itmeans the loss of his job. For he knows he must be
honest if he would live at all. He will appreciateknowing you are not bothering your head about him,

Alco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 147

147
that you are not suspicious nor are you trying to run
his life so he will be shielded from temptation to drink.
If he is conscientiously following the program of re­covery he can go anywhere your business may callhim.
In case he does stumble, even once, you will have todecide whether to let him go. If you are sure hedoesn’t mean business, there is no doubt you should
discharge him. If, on the contrary, you are sure heis doing his utmost, you may wish to give him anotherchance. But you should feel under no obligation tokeep him on, for your obligation has been well dis­charged already.
There is another thing you might wish to do. If
your organization is a large one, your junior executives
might be provided with this book. You might let themknow you have no quarrel with the alcoholics of yourorganization. These juniors are often in a difﬁcult
position. Men under them are frequently their friends.
So, for one reason or another, they cover these men,hoping matters will take a turn for the better. They
often jeopardize their own positions by trying to help
serious drinkers who should have been ﬁred long ago,or else given an opportunity to get well.
After reading this book, a junior executive can go tosuch a man and say approximately this, “Look here,
Ed. Do you want to stop drinking or not? You putme on the spot every time you get drunk. It isn’t fairto me or the ﬁrm. I have been learning something
about alcoholism. If you are an alcoholic, you are amighty sick man. You act like one. The ﬁrm wants
to help you get over it, and if you are interested, there
is a way out. If you take it, your past will be forgotten
TO EMPLOYERS

Alco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 148

148
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS
and the fact that you went away for treatment will
not be mentioned. But if you cannot or will not stop
drinking, I think you ought to resign.”
Your junior executive may not agree with the con­tents of our book. He need not, and often should notshow it to his alcoholic prospect. But at least he will
understand the problem and will no longer be misledby ordinary promises. He will be able to take a posi­tion with such a man which is eminently fair andsquare. He will have no further reason for covering
up an alcoholic employee.
It boils right down to this: No man should be ﬁred
just because he is alcoholic. If he wants to stop, heshould be afforded a real chance. If he cannot or does
not want to stop, he should be discharged. The excep­
tions are few.
We think this method of approach will accomplish
several things. It will permit the rehabilitation of goodmen. At the same time you will feel no reluctance torid yourself of those who cannot or will not stop.
Alcoholism may be causing your organization consid­
erable damage in its waste of time, men and reputa­tion. We hope our suggestions will help you plug up
this sometimes serious leak. We think we are sensible
when we urge that you stop this waste and give yourworthwhile man a chance.
The other day an approach was made to the vicepresident of a large industrial concern. He remarked:“I’m mighty glad you fellows got over your drinking.
But the policy of this company is not to interfere withthe habits of our employees. If a man drinks so muchthat his job suffers, we ﬁre him. I don’t see how you
can be of any help to us for, as you see, we don’t have

Alco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 149

149
any alcoholic problem.” This same company spends
millions for research every year. Their cost of produc­tion is ﬁgured to a ﬁne decimal point. They haverecreational facilities. There is company insurance.
There is a real interest, both humanitarian and busi­
ness, in the well-being of employees. But alcoholism—well, they just don’t believe they have it.
Perhaps this is a typical attitude. We, who have col­lectively seen a great deal of business life, at leastfrom the alcoholic angle, had to smile at this gentleman’s sincere opinion. He might be shocked if heknew how much alcoholism is costing his organizationa year. That company may harbor many actual or
potential alcoholics. We believe that managers oflarge enterprises often have little idea how prevalent
this problem is. Even if you feel your organization has
no alcoholic problem, it might pay to take another lookdown the line. You may make some interesting dis­coveries.
Of course, this chapter refers to alcoholics, sickpeople, deranged men. What our friend, the vicepresident, had in mind was the habitual or whoopee
drinker. As to them, his policy is undoubtedly sound,but he did not distinguish between such people andthe alcoholic.
It is not to be expected that an alcoholic employee
will receive a disproportionate amount of time andattention. He should not be made a favorite. The
right kind of man, the kind who recovers, will notwant this sort of thing. He will not impose. Far fromit. He will work like the devil and thank you to his
dying day.
Today I own a little company. There are two
TO EMPLOYERS

Alco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 150

150
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS
alcoholic employees, who produce as much as ﬁve
normal salesmen. But why not? They have a newattitude, and they have been saved from a living death.
I have enjoyed every moment spent in getting themstraightened out.** See Appendix VI—We shall be happy to hear from you if we canbe of help.

Alco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 151

Chapter 11

A VISION FOR YOU

F

or most normal folks, drinking means convivi­
ality, companionship and colorful imagination.
It means release from care, boredom and worry. It is
joyous intimacy with friends and a feeling that life isgood. But not so with us in those last days of heavy
drinking. The old pleasures were gone. They werebut memories. Never could we recapture the great
moments of the past. There was an insistent yearning
to enjoy life as we once did and a heartbreaking obses­
sion that some new miracle of control would enable us
to do it. There was always one more attempt—and
one more failure.
The less people tolerated us, the more we withdrew
from society, from life itself. As we became subjectsof King Alcohol, shivering denizens of his mad realm,
the chilling vapor that is loneliness settled down. It
thickened, ever becoming blacker. Some of us sought
out sordid places, hoping to ﬁnd understanding com­panionship and approval. Momentarily we did—thenwould come oblivion and the awful awakening to face
the hideous Four Horsemen—Terror, Bewilderment,
Frustration, Despair. Unhappy drinkers who read thispage will understand!
Now and then a serious drinker, being dry at the
moment says, “I don’t miss it at all. Feel better. Workbetter. Having a better time.” As ex-problem drink­151

Alco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 152

152
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS
ers, we smile at such a sally. We know our friend islike a boy whistling in the dark to keep up his spirits.
He fools himself. Inwardly he would give anything totake half a dozen drinks and get away with them. He
will presently try the old game again, for he isn’t
happy about his sobriety. He cannot picture life with­out alcohol. Some day he will be unable to imagine
life either with alcohol or without it. Then he willknow loneliness such as few do. He will be at thejumping-off place. He will wish for the end.
We have shown how we got out from under. You
say, “Yes, I’m willing. But am I to be consigned to alife where I shall be stupid, boring and glum, likesome righteous people I see? I know I must get along
without liquor, but how can I? Have you a sufﬁcient
substitute?”
Yes, there is a substitute and it is vastly more thanthat. It is a fellowship in Alcoholics Anonymous.
There you will ﬁnd release from care, boredom andworry. Your imagination will be ﬁred. Life will meansomething at last. The most satisfactory years of yourexistence lie ahead. Thus we ﬁnd the fellowship, andso will you.
“How is that to come about?” you ask. “Where am
I to ﬁnd these people?”
You are going to meet these new friends in your own
community. Near you, alcoholics are dying helplessly
like people in a sinking ship. If you live in a large
place, there are hundreds. High and low, rich andpoor, these are future fellows of Alcoholics Anony­mous. Among them you will make lifelong friends.
You will be bound to them with new and wonderfulties, for you will escape disaster together and you will

Alco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 153

153
commence shoulder to shoulder your common journey.
Then you will know what it means to give of yourself
that others may survive and rediscover life. You willlearn the full meaning of “Love thy neighbor as thy­
self.”
It may seem incredible that these men are to be­come happy, respected, and useful once more. How
can they rise out of such misery, bad repute and hope­lessness? The practical answer is that since thesethings have happened among us, they can happen
with you. Should you wish them above all else, andbe willing to make use of our experience, we are surethey will come. The age of miracles is still with us.
Our own recovery proves that!
Our hope is that when this chip of a book is
launched on the world tide of alcoholism, defeateddrinkers will seize upon it, to follow its suggestions.
Many, we are sure, will rise to their feet and march
on. They will approach still other sick ones andfellowships of Alcoholics Anonymous may spring up
in each city and hamlet, havens for those who mustﬁnd a way out.
In the chapter “Working With Others” you gatheredan idea of how we approach and aid others to health.
Suppose now that through you several families haveadopted this way of life. You will want to know moreof how to proceed from that point. Perhaps the best
way of treating you to a glimpse of your future will be
to describe the growth of the fellowship among us.
Here is a brief account:
Years ago, in 1935, one of our number made ajourney to a certain western city. From a businessstandpoint, his trip came off badly. Had he been suc­
A VISION FOR YOU

Alco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 154

154
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS
cessful in his enterprise, he would have been set on
his feet ﬁnancially which, at the time, seemed vitally
important. But his venture wound up in a law suit andbogged down completely. The proceeding was shot
through with much hard feeling and controversy.
Bitterly discouraged, he found himself in a strange
place, discredited and almost broke. Still physicallyweak, and sober but a few months, he saw that his
predicament was dangerous. He wanted so much totalk with someone, but whom?
One dismal afternoon he paced a hotel lobby won­dering how his bill was to be paid. At one end of theroom stood a glass covered directory of local churches.
Down the lobby a door opened into an attractive bar.
He could see the gay crowd inside. In there he wouldﬁnd companionship and release. Unless he took somedrinks, he might not have the courage to scrape an
acquaintance and would have a lonely week-end.
Of course he couldn’t drink, but why not sit hope­
fully at a table, a bottle of ginger ale before him?
After all, had he not been sober six months now? Per­
haps he could handle, say, three drinks—no more! Feargripped him. He was on thin ice. Again it was theold, insidious insanity—that ﬁrst drink. With a shiver,
he turned away and walked down the lobby to thechurch directory. Music and gay chatter still ﬂoatedto him from the bar.
But what about his responsibilities—his family andthe men who would die because they would not know
how to get well, ah—yes, those other alcoholics?
There must be many such in this town. He would
phone a clergyman. His sanity returned and he thanked

Alco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 155

155
God. Selecting a church at random from the directory,
he stepped into a booth and lifted the receiver.
His call to the clergyman led him presently to acertain resident of the town, who, though formerly
able and respected, was then nearing the nadir ofalcoholic despair. It was the usual situation: home injeopardy, wife ill, children distracted, bills in arrears
and standing damaged. He had a desperate desire tostop, but saw no way out, for he had earnestly tried
many avenues of escape. Painfully aware of being
somehow abnormal, the man did not fully realize
what it meant to be alcoholic.*
When our friend related his experience, the man
agreed that no amount of will power he might muster
could stop his drinking for long. A spiritual experi­ence, he conceded, was absolutely necessary, but theprice seemed high upon the basis suggested. He told
how he lived in constant worry about those who mightﬁnd out about his alcoholism. He had, of course, thefamiliar alcoholic obsession that few knew of his drink­ing. Why, he argued, should he lose the remainderof his business, only to bring still more suffering to
his family by foolishly admitting his plight to people
from whom he made his livelihood? He would doanything, he said, but that.
Being intrigued, however, he invited our friend tohis home. Some time later, and just as he thought hewas getting control of his liquor situation, he went on
a roaring bender. For him, this was the spree that
ended all sprees. He saw that he would have to face
A VISION FOR YOU* This refers to Bill’s first visit with Dr. Bob. These men later be­came co-founders of A.A. Bill’s story opens the text of this book; Dr.
Bob’s heads the Story Section.

Alco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 156

156
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS
his problems squarely that God might give him
mastery.
One morning he took the bull by the horns and set
out to tell those he feared what his trouble had been.
He found himself surprisingly well received, andlearned that many knew of his drinking. Stepping
into his car, he made the rounds of people he had
hurt. He trembled as he went about, for this mightmean ruin, particularly to a person in his line of busi­
ness.
At midnight he came home exhausted, but very
happy. He has not had a drink since. As we shall see,he now means a great deal to his community, and the
major liabilities of thirty years of hard drinking havebeen repaired in four.
But life was not easy for the two friends. Plenty of
difﬁculties presented themselves. Both saw that theymust keep spiritually active. One day they called up
the head nurse of a local hospital. They explained
their need and inquired if she had a ﬁrst class alcoholic
prospect.
She replied, “Yes, we’ve got a corker. He’s justbeaten up a couple of nurses. Goes off his head com­pletely when he’s drinking. But he’s a grand chapwhen he’s sober, though he’s been in here eight times
in the last six months. Understand he was once awell-known lawyer in town, but just now we’ve got
him strapped down tight.”*
Here was a prospect all right but, by the description,none too promising. The use of spiritual principles in* This refers to Bill’s and Dr. Bob’s first visit to A.A. Number Three.
See the Pioneer Section. This resulted in A.A.’s first group, at Akron,
Ohio, in 1935.

Alco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 157

157
such cases was not so well understood as it is now.
But one of the friends said, “Put him in a private room.
We’ll be down.”
Two days later, a future fellow of Alcoholics
Anonymous stared glassily at the strangers beside his
bed. “Who are you fellows, and why this privateroom? I was always in a ward before.”
Said one of the visitors, “We’re giving you a treat­ment for alcoholism.”
Hopelessness was written large on the man’s face as
he replied, “Oh, but that’s no use. Nothing would ﬁx
me. I’m a goner. The last three times, I got drunk on
the way home from here. I’m afraid to go out thedoor. I can’t understand it.”For an hour, the two friends told him about theirdrinking experiences. Over and over, he would say:“That’s me. That’s me. I drink like that.”
The man in the bed was told of the acute poisoning
from which he suffered, how it deteriorates the bodyof an alcoholic and warps his mind. There was muchtalk about the mental state preceding the ﬁrst drink.
“Yes, that’s me,” said the sick man, “the very image.
You fellows know your stuff all right, but I don’t see
what good it’ll do. You fellows are somebody. I wasonce, but I’m a nobody now. From what you tell me,
I know more than ever I can’t stop.” At this both thevisitors burst into a laugh. Said the future Fellow
Anonymous: “Damn little to laugh about that I cansee.”
The two friends spoke of their spiritual experienceand told him about the course of action they carriedout.
He interrupted: “I used to be strong for the church,
A VISION FOR YOU

Alco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 158

158
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS
but that won’t ﬁx it. I’ve prayed to God on hangovermornings and sworn that I’d never touch another drop
but by nine o’clock I’d be boiled as an owl.”
Next day found the prospect more receptive. He
had been thinking it over. “Maybe you’re right,” hesaid. “God ought to be able to do anything.” Thenhe added, “He sure didn’t do much for me when I wastrying to ﬁght this booze racket alone.”On the third day the lawyer gave his life to the careand direction of his Creator, and said he was perfectly
willing to do anything necessary. His wife came,scarcely daring to be hopeful, though she thought she
saw something different about her husband already.
He had begun to have a spiritual experience.
That afternoon he put on his clothes and walked
from the hospital a free man. He entered a political
campaign, making speeches, frequenting men’s gath­ering places of all sorts, often staying up all night. He
lost the race by only a narrow margin. But he hadfound God—and in ﬁnding God had found himself.
That was in June, 1935. He never drank again. He
too, has become a respected and useful member of his
community. He has helped other men recover, and is
a power in the church from which he was long absent.
So, you see, there were three alcoholics in that town,
who now felt they had to give to others what they had
found, or be sunk. After several failures to ﬁnd others,a fourth turned up. He came through an acquaintance
who had heard the good news. He proved to be adevil-may-care young fellow whose parents could not
make out whether he wanted to stop drinking or not.
They were deeply religious people, much shocked bytheir son’s refusal to have anything to do with theAlco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 159

159
church. He suffered horribly from his sprees, but it
seemed as if nothing could be done for him. He con­sented, however, to go to the hospital, where he oc­
cupied the very room recently vacated by the lawyer.
He had three visitors. After a bit, he said, “The way
you fellows put this spiritual stuff makes sense. I’mready to do business. I guess the old folks were rightafter all.” So one more was added to the Fellowship.
All this time our friend of the hotel lobby incident
remained in that town. He was there three months.
He now returned home, leaving behind his ﬁrst ac­
quaintance, the lawyer and the devil-may-care chap.
These men had found something brand new in life.
Though they knew they must help other alcoholics ifthey would remain sober, that motive became second­ary. It was transcended by the happiness they foundin giving themselves for others. They shared theirhomes, their slender resources, and gladly devoted
their spare hours to fellow-sufferers. They were will­ing, by day or night, to place a new man in the hos­pital and visit him afterward. They grew in numbers.
They experienced a few distressing failures, but inthose cases they made an effort to bring the man’sfamily into a spiritual way of living, thus relieving
much worry and suffering.
A year and six months later these three had suc­ceeded with seven more. Seeing much of each other,scarce an evening passed that someone’s home did not
shelter a little gathering of men and women, happy intheir release, and constantly thinking how they mightpresent their discovery to some newcomer. In addi­
tion to these casual get-togethers, it became customary
to set apart one night a week for a meeting to be at­
A VISION FOR YOU

Alco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 160

160
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS
tended by anyone or everyone interested in a spiritual
way of life. Aside from fellowship and sociability,
the prime object was to provide a time and place
where new people might bring their problems.
Outsiders became interested. One man and his wife
placed their large home at the disposal of thisstrangely assorted crowd. This couple has since be­come so fascinated that they have dedicated theirhome to the work. Many a distracted wife has visited
this house to ﬁnd loving and understanding compan­
ionship among women who knew her problem, tohear from the lips of their husbands what had hap­
pened to them, to be advised how her own waywardmate might be hospitalized and approached whennext he stumbled.
Many a man, yet dazed from his hospital experi­ence, has stepped over the threshold of that home into
freedom. Many an alcoholic who entered there cameaway with an answer. He succumbed to that gay
crowd inside, who laughed at their own misfortunes
and understood his. Impressed by those who visited
him at the hospital, he capitulated entirely when, later,in an upper room of this house, he heard the story ofsome man whose experience closely tallied with his
own. The expression on the faces of the women, thatindeﬁnable something in the eyes of the men, thestimulating and electric atmosphere of the place,conspired to let him know that here was haven at last.
The very practical approach to his problems, theabsence of intolerance of any kind, the informality,
the genuine democracy, the uncanny understanding
which these people had were irresistible. He and hisAlco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 161161
wife would leave elated by the thought of what they
could now do for some stricken acquaintance and his
family. They knew they had a host of new friends; it
seemed they had known these strangers always. They
had seen miracles, and one was to come to them. They
had visioned the Great Reality—their loving and All
Powerful Creator.
Now, this house will hardly accommodate its weekly
visitors, for they number sixty or eighty as a rule. Al­
coholics are being attracted from far and near. Fromsurrounding towns, families drive long distances to bepresent. A community thirty miles away has ﬁfteen
fellows of Alcoholics Anonymous. Being a large place,
we think that some day its Fellowship will number
many hundreds.*
But life among Alcoholics Anonymous is more thanattending gatherings and visiting hospitals. Cleaning
up old scrapes, helping to settle family differences,
explaining the disinherited son to his irate parents,
lending money and securing jobs for each other, when
justiﬁed—these are everyday occurrences. No one is
too discredited or has sunk too low to be welcomed
cordially—if he means business. Social distinctions,petty rivalries and jealousies—these are laughed out ofcountenance. Being wrecked in the same vessel, being
restored and united under one God, with hearts andminds attuned to the welfare of others, the things
which matter so much to some people no longer
signify much to them. How could they?
Under only slightly different conditions, the samething is taking place in many eastern cities. In one of
A VISION FOR YOU* Written in 1939.

Alco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 162

162
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS
these there is a well-known hospital for the treatmentof alcoholic and drug addiction. Six years ago one of
our number was a patient there. Many of us have felt,
for the ﬁrst time, the Presence and Power of God
within its walls. We are greatly indebted to thedoctor in attendance there, for he, although it might
prejudice his own work, has told us of his belief in ours.
Every few days this doctor suggests our approach
to one of his patients. Understanding our work, hecan do this with an eye to selecting those who arewilling and able to recover on a spiritual basis. Manyof us, former patients, go there to help. Then, in thiseastern city, there are informal meetings such as wehave described to you, where you may now see scoresof members. There are the same fast friendships,
there is the same helpfulness to one another as you
ﬁnd among our western friends. There is a good bitof travel between East and West and we foresee agreat increase in this helpful interchange.
Some day we hope that every alcoholic who
journeys will ﬁnd a Fellowship of Alcoholics Anony­mous at his destination. To some extent this is alreadytrue. Some of us are salesmen and go about. Little
clusters of twos and threes and ﬁves of us have sprung
up in other communities, through contact with our
two larger centers. Those of us who travel drop in as
often as we can. This practice enables us to lend a
hand, at the same time avoiding certain alluring dis­tractions of the road, about which any traveling man
can inform you.*Thus we grow. And so can you, though you be but* Written in 1939. In 2003, there are over 103,000 groups. There is A.A. activity inapproximately 150 countries, with an estimated membership of over two million.

Alco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 163

163
one man with this book in your hand. We believe andhope it contains all you will need to begin.
We know what you are thinking. You are saying to
yourself: “I’m jittery and alone. I couldn’t do that.”
But you can. You forget that you have just now tappeda source of power much greater than yourself. To
duplicate, with such backing, what we have accom­
plished is only a matter of willingness, patience andlabor.
We know of an A.A. member who was living in alarge community. He had lived there but a few weeks
when he found that the place probably contained
more alcoholics per square mile than any city in the
country. This was only a few days ago at this writing.
(1939) The authorities were much concerned. He got
in touch with a prominent psychiatrist who had under­
taken certain responsibilities for the mental health ofthe community. The doctor proved to be able andexceedingly anxious to adopt any workable methodof handling the situation. So he inquired, what did
our friend have on the ball?
Our friend proceeded to tell him. And with such
good effect that the doctor agreed to a test among his
patients and certain other alcoholics from a clinic
which he attends. Arrangements were also made withthe chief psychiatrist of a large public hospital toselect still others from the stream of misery which
ﬂows through that institution.
So our fellow worker will soon have friends galore.
Some of them may sink and perhaps never get up, but
if our experience is a criterion, more than half of those
approached will become fellows of Alcoholics Anony­mous. When a few men in this city have found them­
A VISION FOR YOU

Alco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 164

164
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS
selves, and have discovered the joy of helping others
to face life again, there will be no stopping until
everyone in that town has had his opportunity to recover—if he can and will.
Still you may say: “But I will not have the beneﬁt
of contact with you who write this book.” We cannot
be sure. God will determine that, so you must remem­
ber that your real reliance is always upon Him. He
will show you how to create the fellowship you
crave.*
Our book is meant to be suggestive only. We realize
we know only a little. God will constantly disclose
more to you and to us. Ask Him in your morning medi­
tation what you can do each day for the man who is
still sick. The answers will come, if your own house
is in order. But obviously you cannot transmit some­thing you haven’t got. See to it that your relationshipwith Him is right, and great events will come to passfor you and countless others. This is the Great Fact
for us.
Abandon yourself to God as you understand God.
Admit your faults to Him and to your fellows. Clear
away the wreckage of your past. Give freely of what
you ﬁnd and join us. We shall be with you in the
Fellowship of the Spirit, and you will surely meetsome of us as you trudge the Road of Happy Destiny.
May God bless you and keep you—until then.

* Alcoholics Anonymous will be glad to hear from you. Address P.O. Box 459,
Grand Central Station, New York, NY 10163.