THE EA CONNECTION: JANUARY 2020
PLEASE CONSIDER A CONTRIBUTION TO EAI TO SUPPORT THIS PUBLICATION.

EA TOOLS FOR RECOVERY
Step 1: We admitted we were powerless over our emotions - that our lives had become unmanageable.

Tradition 1: Our common welfare should come first; personal recovery depends on EA unity.
Slogan 1: Let go and let God
Promise 1: We realize a new freedom and happiness.
Just for Today 1: I will try to live through this day only, not tackling all of my problems at once. I can dosomething at this moment that would discourage me if I had to continue it for a lifetime.
Helpful Concept 1: We come to EA to learn how to live a new way of life through the 12-step program ofEmotions Anonymous which consists of 12 Steps, 12 Traditions, concepts, the Serenity Prayer, slogans, Justfor Todays, EA literature, weekly meetings, telephone and personal contacts, and living the program one
day at a time. We do not come for another person - we come to help ourselves and to share our experiences,
strength, and hope with others.

FROM YOUR EA BOARD OF TRUSTEES
Dear Friends in the Fellowship,As we enter into a New Year together, it’s exciting for me to be a part of this fellowship.
I’m grateful for all the people in EA that are contributing in positive ways. It’s nice that so many in our organization aretrying to support the work that we’re all doing together. We can focus more on the solutions rather than the problems. That helps us all move forward in helpful ways. Thank you for that!
The trustees are attempting to carry out the role assigned to us, as just some of the trusted servants of this organization. Please know that we are listening carefully to the membership as decisions relegated to us are made, keeping in
mind the feedback we get from our fellowship. We’re carrying out our responsibilities as best we can and asking for asmuch good will as can be extended our way from all of you. Our goal, as trustees, is to increase trust, kindness, andtransparency in the work that is done in this fellowship.
Many of you are also doing significant work - starting new groups, participating in telephone meetings and using otherways to connect - in addition to going to face to face meetings, and making donations as a group and/or as individuals. We’ve been excited to see a nice increase in income that is coming from the helpful new EA workbooks being
sold. Awesome! Finally, as people are able to contribute financially in the New Year, to the degree that they are both
inspired to do and able to do, we will be able to make a greater impact in the world in the realm of mental wellbeing
and emotional health. Your donations really make a difference! Happy New Year to one and all!
Scott J, President—EA Board of Trustees of EA

www.EmotionsAnonymous.org
Box 4245 St Paul, MN 55104
Phone 651-647-9712
Hours Mon—Thurs: 10 to 3:00 CST

director@emotionsanonymous.org
connection@emotionsanonymous.org
groupdata@emotionsanonymous.org
orders@emotionsanonymous.org
shipping@emotionsanonymous.org

SPECIAL GIFTS AND MEMORIALS
Our thanks to the many folks who have designated a memorial or acknowledgement forthe support and love they have received from another.

RECOVERY USING THE TOOLS OF EAStep 1: We admitted we werepowerless over ouremotions - that our lives
had become unmanageable.
I had heard of EA for years before
investigating. I had more than one
friend who attended but I neverreally checked it out myself. Finallya friend found the loop and shared itwith me. I found myself thinking,wow, me?
Powerless over myemotions? It finally hit me, I guess.
I was not in a particularly difficult or
miserable place, at least it didn't
seem like it. But after attending theloop and reading shares, I started toreally see that my normal state wasthat of high emotions, that I worked
constantly at "appearing" to benormal, that I was in several 12-step
programs and working each one ashard as I could just to get athe puzzle
pieces started to fit.
I really was powerless over theseemotions! I thought that since I
could contain them, that was goodenough. I thought that since I
wasn't drinking over them, that wasgood enough. Even though I wasn'tdrinking, I was either eating,spending, or obsessing about myrelationship’s. It started to dawn onme that even though I had been
sober for many years, I didn't have a
lot of regular serenity and I was fullof resentment. I was doing too
much "acting as if."
It was a big relief to admit that myemotions were ready to knock meover on any given day. I am only
now just really seeing it. I am
working the steps with a kindhearted and patient sponsor, and I
am enormously grateful for her
presence in my life. I am also
enormously grateful for this loop
although I don't think I say it
enough...GailTonight, I am powerless over myanxiety and loneliness. I am giving
in to these emotions and I let themcontrol my actions. I recognize that
all night I’ve been trying tomanipulate others into situations
that will relieve my anxiety andloneliness. Doing so is making me
miserable, and the more miserable I
get, the more I try to manipulate.
Instead, I could try letting go,admitting my powerless over these
emotions, admit that no amount of
my manipulating will ease myemotions. They are strong, and I ampowerless. I admit I am powerless.
I cannot control them, but I know
they too shall pass. I know I will beokay again once they pass, and all Ihave to do until they do is NOT send
manipulative texts or emails...SarahToday I am grateful, that I understand step one is not something I do
until it is perfect. I do not stay on
step one until I finally get it right. Or
until I get all the questions done in
the EA’s 12 by 12, no matter how
wonderful I think the questions are.
I 've completed Step One when I am
able to admit, for at least a week ata time, that I am powerless over myemotions. And that my real Power isin finding ways to express myemotions that do not harm myselfor others. And I am done with Step
One, when I am willing to return toit as needed, and don't have a false
expectation that it is ever done,
once and for all. Each time I need toreturn to Step One, I can do anotherwriting exercise. How happy I am forthese simple truths. I don't want to
get lost in "shoulds," in order tocomplete these steps. As always,
take what is helpful and leave therest…Smitty K

Just for Today 1: I will try
to live through this day
only, not tackling all of myproblems at once. I can dosomething at this momentthat would discourage me
if I had to continue it for alifetime.
It had taken many years before I was
ready to accept the honest truth
about myself. What was mostimportant for me to do was to takeplenty of fourth steps and using mytherapist and sponsor for the fifthstep. I didn't know HOW to turn off
the thoughts from the past. I kept it
alive until I drove myself back on myknees asking God to please takethem away...It wasn't until then I
realized, my thought of telling God
what to do...gave me a lesson on
how I take my powerlessness back,as then it came to me, who am I totell God what to do?
My whole outlook changed
concerning God. I was in myeleventh year of the program.
Working the eleventh step and theeleventh tradition. After readingover the concepts and the promises
this morning I didn't feel like sharing
on-line. Then a news flash cameover me. If I don't share then I don't
gain my serenity nor my humility tocarry out my day.
The past had me in bondage to self.
I didn't know HOW to release thosethoughts. What I did know is I had
the desire to be emotionally well. AllI was asked to do was to live oneday at a time. Living one day at atime kept me workable for my joband kept me in the present. I used
the traditions for my business. Thetraditions are a matter of fact. As forthe past...I finely gave into it andbegan to mature. I wasn't as bad as Ithought. It's those thoughts thatkept me from being happy...Pat M

DISCOVERING THE TOOLS OF EA
Reflection for today January 24: SEXUALITY
Sex is a topic which is not often talked about with sincerity and honesty. Those of us who have come to EA often find as part of ourrecovery a need to deal with some unhealthy attitudes about sex. Many people's attitudes aboutsex seem to gofrom one extreme to the other — either it is dirty, or it is an obsession.
Sharing our sexual
struggles may lead to healthier outlooks.

MEDITATION FOR TODAY
God, when I am unable to share with the group, may I have the courage to confide in a trustworthy member
Step person. That can be a beginning.

or a Fifth-Today I Will RememberAs I continue to face myself, I continue to become more whole.

This reflection is about sex, and how we don't talk about it much, but how good relationships can lead tobetter sex. This has been really difficult for me, and it's taken me a while to really see why. As a result of
the damage suffered in my family of origin, I had a lot of problems. It's taken a lot of hard work, and help
from a Higher Power, to see that if I didn't find recovery and serenity, for myself, whatever that means—
I won't have any way to participate in a relationship without coming from a place of need. That has not worked for mein the past. Where I'm at right now, I'm not in a relationship, and I'm really enjoying it. I feel ok in my own skin, although I wouldn't say my life is perfect, but EA has helped me learn to live peacefully with unsolved problems. I knowthat for me, loneliness is not a good reason to get into a relationship. I do have to watch for loneliness, as I guess
many of us do, but for me, it's better to find companionship through meetings, my dog, or friends. I might not ever bein a relationship again, and for me, today—that's ok I trust that the healthier I get, the better relationships I will pick.
That seems to be pretty true so far, that I am happier when I don't expect a man, or anyone else, to fix me. That was
really a huge problem for me, and I found another 12 Step program to help me deal with it. I had a lot of shame tobegin with, but I am a lot better able to accept myself and my past now. Grateful for my recovery, for myrecovery
friends, for a beautiful clear day, for my warm scarf, for my dog, and for EA and this loop...GMy rage is much, much lessened. I have forgiven myself, my mother, and my abusers. I had to see one ofthe people who was in on my family secret earlier this week. I felt shame and sadness for both of us. It
was all so long ago when we were children. We can be forgiven for our childish games and our parents
can be forgiven for their lack of awareness and their enabling attitudes. I am sad that my brother and I
could not have grown up in a healthy home.
I have never told any one person my whole secret. I suppose I will need to do this as part of my step work. This scares
me like nothing else I would confess. I know I cannot turn my back on the healing offered by this Program and the 12Steps. I will go through this in baby steps...A
I was touched and could empathize with some of the shares today. I was sexually abused by this boy staying with myfamily when I was about 8 years old. I had no idea what he was doing, but somehow it felt not right, so I mentioned it
to my mom. The boy was sent away but nobody ever mentioned the issue again. When I was 16, my mom's sister's husband tried to molest me, but by now I understood enough to ask him to stop. I even told him that if he ever came nearme again, I would tell his wife. He does an excellent job of pretending in front of the whole family that he is still madly
in love with my aunt.—he didn’t allow her to come to my wedding because he "cannot bear to be away from her fortwo whole days." I laughed so hard when I heard this. When I tried telling my mom about what he had done, the firstthing she told me was "don’t tell anyone." After that, we have never spoken about it. In our culture, noone will talk about this and she was afraid that it would ruin her sister's family. I felt so angry with her forso long. For the longest time I kept thinking, "why didn’t my parents protect me?"But now, I have let it go. I don’t feel any shame or guilt. Maybe anger, a "how dare you" feeling rages inside me sometimes. Grateful that I have a better grip over accepting imperfections and knowing that noone can have a perfectly rosy past. I cannot erase the past, but at least I am at peace with yesterday...P2019 - 2020 EA Board of Trustees
Please feel free to contact members of the Board with questions or concerns.
Minutes of the Board of Trustees Meeting can be viewed here.

Scott J, MN 507-276-0323 sdjakel@gmail.com President
John W, MN 612-760-0313 johnwerner52@gmail.com Vice President
Colleen C, MN 651-245-5461 coyne2003@hotmail.com Secretary
Derita P, OH 216-624-3559 deritapippen@gmail.com Treasurer
Paul N, NJ 201-264-1807 paul@nobleequity.com Trustee
Steve B, CA 909-438-4938 stevebell_28@yahoo.com Trustee

THE TWELVE PROMISES—EA BOOK PAGES 70-71
These Promises may seem idealistic, exaggerated, or extravagant at first, but they really are possible. As
we thoroughly and honestly work the program through Step 9, we start to notice new attitudes and feelings in ourselves. Some of these promises may be realized quickly, others slowly, but they all develop naturally as a result of honestly working the EA Program
Promise 1: We realize a new freedom and happiness.
To realize a new freedom and happiness means that I become fully aware of new freedom and happiness in me. If I
realize something has happened, then I clearly understand that this thing has occurred. The odd part of promise 1
coming true is that even though I realize that it is happening – this new freedom and happiness in my life – it happens
without my understanding of exactly how it happens. Because so much of life is a mystery, I have a sense that that ishow transformation through our program — through a higher power — is intended to occur...Scott J
These promises come true after completing the ninth step. When I came into the program 24 years ago, I looked at thepromises and said no way, I could never acquire most of them, and this was one. Happiness and freedom, and peace ofmind were all foreign ideas to me. I had long since experienced laughter. In fact when I heard people laughing Ithought something was wrong with them or that they were laughing at me. Today I have completed step nine and am
living in steps 10, 11, and 12. I have to revisit steps 1, 2, and 3 from time to time. The steps are my ticket to the promises and there are many; a lot of hidden ones that are not talked about much like being able to sit and visit with someone, be at peace and really give of myself. I could not do that in my emotional disease…Derita P
Some of us in the EA fellowship treat the Twelve Promises as a separate and distinct list which exists alongside(sometimes on equal footing with) the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions. I’ve even heard some speak of these as akind of “guarantee” of emotional wellness that EA “promises” to its members. Both of these interpretations take theTwelve Promises out of context. These promises are set forth in Step 9, and the fulfillment of Promise 1’s “new freedom and happiness” entirely depends on how thoroughly and honestly we work the program – including taking responsibility for our actions and making amends by changing our behavior...Steven B
Before entering the program, I thought freedom and happiness were privileges, unreasonable to be had on a sustainable basis. As I have worked the steps and sat with my peers in fellowship, I have indeed realized freedom and happiness that I never thought were possible. In one of the meetings I attended, I asked around the room to see if there wasanyone who regularly felt happy and many people raised their hands and they said I deserved that as well. My outlook
on my ability to be happy has changed as a result of my belonging to EA. I am grateful to have this program...Paul N

It Works If You Work It, page 201
The program does not make promises for an unrealistically happy, trouble-free life, but it
does hold out some promises for the future. The 12 Promises come true for many of us as
we make progress in the program. The first three promises alone tell us we can realize a
new freedom and happiness; avoid regretting the past or wishing to shut the door on it;
and begin to comprehend the word "serenity," and know peace of mind…