EA Connection—march 2016Your monthly newsletter from isc

The Happy Promise of Sponsoring
Want to Recover? Feel Good? Sponsorship Delivers!
I’ve been working 12 step programs for 38 years and I still love practicing sponsorship. In my longest running relationship we actually call ourselves co-sponsors, because we both take time to share our successes and struggles. In ourweekly phone call we have a fun fellowship which is guided by our shared intention to move more deeply into recovery. My co-sponsor once told me that early that in his 40+ EA years he’s seen very few people actually practice sponsorship. He believes that EA folks don't use sponsorship because we tend to be loners more so than members of other12 step programs. A 2015 survey by EA International confirmed this theory when one of the top 3 membership requests was guidance on good sponsor relationships. The idea of sponsorship may initially be frightening; after all it
asks us to be honest, vulnerable, and accountable in ways that most people will never experience. But it's worth it. Myco-sponsor and I enjoy our relationship as one of the closest connections we’ve known on our life journeys. There iswisdom and peace which is best transmitted in face-to-face relationships with people who have done their work. I
know that the connection and strength gotten only from sponsorship is vital and leads powerfully to the happy fulfillment of the promises! I invite you to start a conversation in your next EA meeting about how you can grow the practices of happy sponsoring!
Charlie B. is an EA member from the Apple Valley Minnesota group.

March tools:
Step 3: Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
Slogan 3: One day at a time.
Tradition 3: The only requirement for EA membership is a desire to become well emotionally.
Promise 3: We comprehend the word serenity, and we know peace of mind.
Just for Today 3: I will try to adjust myself to what is and not force everything to adjust to my own
desires. I will accept my family, my friends, my business, my circumstances as they come.
Concept 3: We respect anonymity—no questions asked. We aim for an atmosphere of love and acceptance.

Of Importance to Groups:
The Board of Trustees is beginning to recruit new members for several positions. Would you be interested in serving
EA as a whole? Watch for more information in April.
The 2016 EA International Convention will be held in sunny Arizona this year on September 23-25! Watch for moredetails in the coming months!

Today Book, March 12—Meditation for Today
May I remember there are people who love and cherish me, and it hurts them, as it hurts me,
when I say negative things about myself.

Memorials and Special Gifts:
In memory of Brian F, a valued friend and true purveyor of the EA way of life, Art H
To help support this publication, donations can be made to: EA Connection

EA Tools
Step 3: Made a decision toturn our will and our lives
over to the care of God as
we understood Him.
I thought that because I woke up
everyday asking God to do His will inmy life that it was enough. I neverevaluated whether I was allowing His
will in my life. Most recently I lost myjob and realized that although Iwould surrender my will, I would
take it back without even thinking. I
even used "prayer" in part of mycomputer password log-in hoping toremind me to turn things over toGod throughout the day. But I neverstopped to pray, to ask God how I
should handle a situation. I would getto work and then go on auto-pilot.
Losing my job was a shock to mycore and put me in a depression, but
it also reminded me that I have tosurrender my will over to God andregularly check to see that I have nottaken it back. I am still working onthat...Karen LV
Lately at the top of my "to do" list, Iwrite Step 3. I consciously turn mywill and life over to my loving Higher
Power before I even make my list.
This helps me know my HP is incharge of me and my plans. Whenthe day ends and I am seeing how
much was accomplished, I know andtrust my HP has been helping mewith it all.
I will continue this daily practice as I
feel comforted knowing my HP istruly with me in all that I am doing. I
love the saying "surrender to win,"because in turning over my will andlife over to my HP , I really have beenwinning more at things that matterthe most to me and I am very grateful for that. And even with difficulttimes, I am given strength, powerand comfort from a Power muchgreater than the difficulties. I am
able to endure and live with unsolved problems with serenity given
to me from my HP.

So, Step 3 will continue to be thefirst item on my daily list for myemotional well being, which not only
benefits me, but others around me
who don't have to endure my emotional "un-wellness" which was mosttimes before EA. Grateful for recovery, one day at a time. Grateful tolook for the good in this day before
me. ..Connie"The construction of my life will go
as planned, just so long as I am willing to be crew and do not play thedirector." ML here, powerless overmy emotions. I always have to remember the first thing in my day isto hand it over to my HP. And it's a
one day at a time deal. Today is the
only day I have to work with. It is soeasy for me to get trapped into mythinking first thing in my day. Tospend my time rationalizing, analyzing, and catastrophizing, in otherwords, to get into my head and thentry to control everything in my day,my mood, my actions, basicallyshutting HP out with my yammeringmind. I have to remember to ask HP
to help me out. Something thatworks for me is to remember or say“thy will, not mine,” and then hand it
over and become the crew not thedirector which truly will make myday start to work again...ML
I keep going back to this Step, reminding myself that I must try not
to play God anymore. All I am required to do is to live each day
cheerfully and kindly. My HP willmanage the rest...Carol

Concept 3: We respect anonymity—.
We aim for an atmosphereof love and acceptance. We
do not care who you are orwhat you have done. Youare welcome.
I know that I often have had a difficult time with people. I expected
perfection of myself and others.
When I failed myself in any way, I
would claim to myself that I was justa loser. This lead to very low selfesteem. Then, when anyone else
made a mistake, I considered themas being losers, too. But in EA, I
learned that we all have assets aswell as defects. I learned that lots ofus can make mistakes, but it doesn'tmean we are losers at all. I also havelearned to have much more patienceand tolerance for people, all due tomy own emotional recovery and having patience and tolerance with myself.
I know that sometimes at my 12-stepmeetings there will be people who
get on my nerves. But I know, they
too, have a right to be there. I knowthat any of us seeking recovery has aright to be in those 12-step rooms. I
learn to accept others as they are bygoing to meetings. It isn't always
easy, but the more I go to meetingsand hear more about living a spiritual life, the easier it is to accept people exactly as they are—and evenmyself exactly as I am for today.

Ea tools applied: growth
Allowing Growth to come in
I am suffering today, and simply unable to even put the details into words. I have done nothing shameful, but I am
suffering from shame. I need to share from the heart. With as much self-compassion as I can muster.
I am going through a rough spot right now that is testing my belief in recovery, and in my own competence and faith. I
have become jaded on almost every recovery tool I have ever used. But, instead of giving up, what if I see this time asa window of opportunity—to confront a false belief?
Hindsight shows I have been guilty of thinking I "should" always be honest, but protected, in my shares. This meant I
was ever too ready to shoot from the hip if anyone ever "hurt" me or others. I thought this would prevent me frombeing a victim. From some very gentle and honest sharing I've witnessed on EAnon, I have learned that being hurt issometimes an illusion. "Wearing my armor does not give me a good solid program, it gives me one that is restrictive,and will one day make me a victim of my own defenses."
What I see, instead, in many of your shares your strength lies in your vulnerability. Why was I so blind to that? I guess
the time has come for me to open my eyes. Glad for compassionate readers, and for shared experiences. I have felt
good and competent, and it was not all that long ago. There, I shall not edit any more, or the words will not mean
what my heart needs to say...Victoria (EAnon is our online discussion group, for information go to EAnon. )Performing versus Participating
I spent the weekend with part of my extended family. I hadn't spent that much time with them since I was agirl, and I was a little thrown by the whole thing, not sure what to say or do, etc. When I read the Today
reading (July 28) this morning, I thought, "That's what I was doing, I was performing when I should have been participating." OK, now here's the part that let me know EA is working for me... My next thought, my IMMEDIATE next
thought was, "Oh, well, you'll do better next time." I can't remember ever having said such a kind thing to myself. It
made me smile all over...Paula

It Works if you Work It
The 12 step program is changing my life! And because it only works if you work it, I know I am working it! I am grateful for all of life…I have a great deal and am richly blessed. I am grateful for my sponsor who is showing me how tothink differently, which translates into thinking in a healthier manner. Big step today—spewed my emotions in writing,and cried and cried. I did this without whacking anyone else with my “processing party.” I let it all out, then was able
to think clearly and communicate my needs and perceptions to my husband. I definitely would not have been able todo that a year ago...AliceSo Proud of Me
I have great news to report...My 1st EA meeting yesterday was successful. I had one person attend, which ismuch better than none. This gentleman was so excited about this meeting that it felt great to have paid it forward bystarting a group. He said he has waited 8 years to find one in this area.
I'm also jumped a hugh hurdle this morning—I stayed home alone for the first time in forever! My husband left and I
was ready to face it. I knew my sponsor was there for me via phone which helped me feel safe. I knew that if I reallyneeded help with a panic attack that there were people I could call. I was so proud of myself. I have been working sohard on my emotions and my life in therapy and now EA.
I also met a new friend I met on a “Navy Wives Website” for coffee. We had a great chatting and spending time together. All of this accomplished while having my PMS monthly blues. I am still moving one day at a time but facing afear is always filled with strength and hope for me. I am really growing and I have EA to thank. Thank you to those who
prayed and wrote me about starting a meeting. I hope it will grow so that we can keep the meeting place. If not I willcontinue on and maybe host it in my home. I spent the day in independence, without family for the first in such a longtime. I am happy right now and thanking my HP for walking by my side throughout all of this...Heather

2015—2016 ea board of trustees
Region 1: Northwest - Treasurer
CAN: AB, BC, MB, ON, SK
USA: AK, ID, MN, MT, ND, OR, SD, WA, WI, WY
Zoe L—Email: zoe.ea@comcast.net

763-432-7858

Region 5: Northeast - Secretary
CAN: NB, NF, NS, NT, PE,YT
USA: CT, MA, ME, NH, NJ, NY, OH, PA, RI, VT
Valerie C—Email: valcea@gmx.com

585-371-4347

Region 2: Southwest - President
USA: AZ, CA, CO, HI, NM, NV, OK, TX, UT
Gus S—Email: schloessergus@gmail.com

602-319-3890

Region 6: French-speaking Canada
819-319-9912
France B—E-mail: France.boulerice@gmail.com

Region 3: Central
USA: IA, IL, IN, KS, MI, MO, NE
Lynne S—Email: lynnesmith50@hotmail.com

712-420-2058

Region 4: Southeast
USA:Tyrell D—Email: rdear2@gmail.com

706-782-2328
Puerto Rico

General Service Trustee - Vice President
Vince C—Email: vincovea@yahoo.com

603-891-1431

General Service Trustee - Trustee-at-large
Harold F—Email: hthnhhugs@aol.com

603-624-8455

General Service Trustee Scott J—Email: jake.ea.newulm@gmail.com

507-276-0323

Non-member Trustee
Phyllis R—Email: eaphyllisr@hotmail.com

623-915-5795

Slogan 3: One Day At A Time
Now, this is a helpful reminder. We all know "what is past is past," eventhough too often my emotions are based on my past experiences. As for "the future," the goal in my life and my dedication is to improve the current situation, so I need to keep my eye on the future. But the truth is that if I don't focus
on today, I won't recognize, and appreciate, both my blessings and my defects of character...Tyrrel
I’ve learned inour EA Program that it’s possible only to have emotional sobriety for one day—24 hours. Anything else is putting expectations on myself that I really can’t handle. Keeping this simple slogan before me during this 24 hour period will
pretty much serve to assure me that I can remain emotionally sober for still another 24 hours, leading eventually toyears of sobriety. Thank you for this “One Day”...GusWhen first introduced to "One day at a time", my heartsank. Wasn't that the irresponsible attitude that got me to where I was before recovery? One night, in the depths ofself-pity, the understanding, often heard in meetings came, "We can stand anything for one day that we could not face
forever." The long, scary night was almost over. A fresh new day was coming!...Phyllis Slogan 3 reminds me not to"tackle all my problems at once." My primary responsibility is to take care of myself and my emotional sobriety, andto perform daily tasks. When I lose track of today, I become unable to do anything at all. For some reason my mind
likes to leap ahead, sort of like deciding to breathe later, after I am done with more "important" things...ValI canonly work on today. Yesterday is past and I can only apologize for what I did or forgive others for what they have done.
Tomorrow is not here yet. I can only plan for tomorrow but not the results. Today is the only time I can have any control. At my age, there may not be a tomorrow so I work on having serenity and leave the other days alone...Harold.

With my EA program, I learned to live my life one day at the time. The EA Today’s book is a good tool to focus on the day. It has always given me the strengths and the will power to live my life at the present time andnot focus too much on yesterday. In the past, I did not have failures, I only had experiences and 10 years inmy EA program that made me grow to become the wonderful woman I am today. Tomorrow is not yet bornso it is better for me to think about the present given by my Higher Power who is my dear loving God…FranceEvents Far and Near:

Emotions Anonymous™

Email Addresses:

29th Anniversary Public info meeting
March 31 at 7:45 pm. 130 Broad Blvd,
Pilgrim United Church of Christ, Cuyahoga
Falls, OH. For more info call 234-206-1232

PO Box 4245
St Paul, MN 55104
Phone 651-647-9712
Fax 651-647-1593
Hours: Monday—Friday: 10 to 4
www.EmotionsAnonymous.org

director@emotionsanonymous.org
editor@emotionsanonymous.org
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If you have an event you would like to see listed here, send your information to editor@emotionsanonymous.org