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Gillmor, Don. (2018). *To the River: Losing My Brother*. Toronto: Random House Canada.

Reviewed by: Adrianna Autio, MacEwan University

Don Gillmor’s book “To the River: Losing My Brother” is a deeply personal exploration of the tragedy of losing his brother to suicide. Gillmor takes us on his emotional journey, piecing together the many components of suicide from sociological, psychological, and economic perspectives. He also shares the profound impacts of suicide on family members and the wider community. While Gillmor acknowledges that suicide affects people from all backgrounds, there is a particular focus on white, middle-aged men from the baby boomer generation, the same generation he and his brother belong to. The book touches on many themes, but the ones that resonate most deeply are addiction, the price of creativity, managing expectations from youth to adulthood, and the central theme of the science of suicidology. Gillmor’s narrative also underscores the societal silence on suicide, highlighting the need for broader discussions on this critical issue.

One of the many elements touched upon throughout is mental health, more specifically, addiction. Gillmor talks about how individuals with an addiction, whether with alcohol or drugs, are often at a higher risk of self-harm. David Gillmor’s brother struggled heavily with combating his addiction to alcohol, drugs, and infidelity. As did many other individuals the author knew who
had either attempted or succeeded in suicide. The narrative highlights the significant challenge of overcoming addiction, a problem that is often underestimated. When Gillmor went to the Yukon, where his brother spent his last years, he interviewed many of the people that David knew and found they all had different stories of how David liked to spend his time. “A very good actor. He kind of had another life. He wasn’t the guy I knew. He sure could play” (p. 40).

While many people refuse to acknowledge their addictions until it is too late, Gillmor emphasizes that addiction is always closer than one thinks. The author shares his own experience of going months without alcohol to prove to himself that he could. This narrative underscores the ease with which one can fall into addiction. “There remains a stigma with mental illness, fading, but still potent. And there is the problem of identifying who is at risk” (p. 108). It is crucial to recognize the signs of addiction and mental illness to prevent serious consequences, underscoring the urgency of prevention in these cases.

Gillmor's brother David was naturally gifted in music, something Gillmor was always jealous of since he never could quite get it right. David dreamt of making it big with his music but would never put the effort to be noticed. Instead, he would play at local bars with the many different bands he was in. Then the illusion must have cleared, and his expectations of his career in music shattered, in turn turning David to alcoholism and drugs.

“Art shows us a world we can’t quite glimpse, and the explorers who take us there pay a price for that knowledge” (p. 125). Gillmor discovered that individuals in the creative fields, such as music, poetry, art, and writing, often faced a higher risk of suicide. “Male artists were twice as
likely to commit suicide as the general population” (p. 124) — a study the author referenced compared the works of suicidal poets to those who were not. The findings were telling-suicidal poets rarely referred to ‘he,’ ‘she,’ ‘them,’ or ‘we,’ But instead, the pronoun ‘I’ was overused. This led to the conclusion that these artists may struggle with connecting to others, deepening their sense of isolation. The conclusion was stark: “Artists have a predilection to madness, in all its modern forms” (p. 125).

One thing everyone can agree on is that aging is scary. The idea of youth is comforting because of its innocence and blissfulness. Gillmor discusses his generation of hanging on to the term “youth” as if they craved it. “We felt we defined the word, we revelled in it, then hoarded it, refusing to give it up to the next generation” (p. 90). According to Gillmor, the next generation is often seen as a threat to the ideals and values of the current generation. This force will inevitably bring change and disrupt the status quo. This fear of change and the passing of time is a significant factor in the desire to cling to youth, as seen with one of Gillmor’s friends who ultimately decided to kill himself because he could not keep up with the ever-changing world and for having to answer to those younger. Youth allows people to live in a rose-coloured world, allowing individuals to think they have more time to accomplish goals than they do.

The author’s reflection on his generation’s attachment to youth is thought-provoking. Gillmor talks about how his generation was in a time of consumerism, idealism, and individuality, which inevitably blinded them regarding the consequences of such terms. As Gillmor put it: “An entitled army born in the conflicting shadows of consumerism and idealism, we marched under
many banners, but the most glaring was youth" (p. 90). When one takes away youth and adds the constant change of our world today, what does one have to look forward to but death itself?

There were many studies talked about throughout and interviews that Gillmor conducted himself, whether with people with a background in suicidology. These people claimed to be suicidal, or his accounts with people he knew who died by suicide. The burning question everyone seems to have is why? Moreover, if there is a way to predict those who may become suicidal. The thing with suicide, though, is it is hard to study because, as the author explained, "suicide isn't logical" (p. 111), and more simply, "the biggest hurdles for suicide researchers: their subjects are all dead" (p. 111). Researchers then must study letters or journals left behind, or they can study people who, after attempting, decided to live.

The author interviewed many people when it comes to suicide and found that many individuals think about suicide as if it is always a way out, "the idea of suicide is a comfort for many" (p. 103). Researchers found that people who have attempted had a variant of a gene called RGS2, referencing that being suicidal may be genetic. Continuing the research on individuals who have died by suicide, they examined journals left behind. What they found was that the journals were dark and pessimistic until the decision to kill themselves was made, and then the writing brightened. The last idea touched upon when talking statistically about suicide is, ironically, suicide goes up when things are good and down when things are hard. This phenomenon can be explained by the concept that "when things are good, you can no longer blame outside forces for your problems. You internalize it-it must be you" (p. 133). This concept highlights the role of
perceived personal responsibility in suicidal ideation, suggesting that when individuals feel they are solely responsible for their problems, they may be more likely to consider suicide as a way out.

Gillmor's writing brings a profound and unblemished clarity to a topic that society often silences-suicide. This societal silence makes suicide a complex topic not only to talk about but also to read. Gillmor's fearless accounts of the suicide of his brother and others throughout his life, coupled with an evidence-based perspective, make his work a powerful and urgent read. His strength in publicly grieving those who have died by suicide is commendable, and his words resonate with the way suicide can take over one's mind, "When people die from suicide, one of the things they leave behind is suicide itself. It becomes a country. At first, I was a visitor, but eventually I became something like a citizen" (p. 81).

However, one of the limitations of Gillmor's work is its narrow focus on the baby boomer generation and white middle-aged men. While this focus is understandable given the author's firsthand experiences, it is essential to note that suicide is a universal issue that affects people of all ages, genders, and backgrounds. The discussion of suicide should be broadened to include diverse perspectives, as suicide is not limited to any one generation, even though certain groups may have higher rates of suicide.

Don Gillmor's "To the River: Losing My Brother" was, while sometimes hard to read due to the nature of the topic and the willingness of the author to give the unscathed truth, this read was an emotionally enlightening one, bringing to light many ideas and issues I had not even fathomed. I would be interested in reading any continuation Gillmor decides to do. Because
Gillmor pulls from studies done by sociologists, psychologists, suicidologists, and neuroscientists, I believe this book would be appropriate for the academic audience of psychologists, psychiatrists, sociologists, neuroscientists, statisticians, and, of course, suicidologists. However, I strongly recommend that all audiences read this in hopes of spreading and educating communities about suicide.