Meredith Quill: Do do do do do do do do do do do!
Ego: This way, my river lily.
Meredith Quill: Where are you taking me? Oh. It's beautiful.
Ego: I was afraid it wouldn't take to the soil, but it rooted quickly. Soon it will be everywhere - all across the universe, fulfilling life's one true purpose.
Meredith Quill: Which is what?
Ego: Expansion.
Meredith Quill: I'm not sure what you're talking about. But I like the way you say it.
Ego: My heart is yours, Meredith Quill.
Meredith Quill: I can't believe I fell in love with a spaceman.
Peter Quill: Showtime, a-holes! It'll be here any minute!
Gamora: Which will be its loss.
Peter Quill: Is that a rifle?
Gamora: You don't know what a rifle is?
Peter Quill: I thought your thing was a sword.
Gamora: We've been hired to stop an interdimensional beast from feeding on those batteries' energy, and I'm going to stop it with a sword?
Peter Quill: Don't look at me like I'm stupid. You're the one being all inconsistent.
Gamora: Drax, why aren't you wearing one of Rocket's aero-rigs?
Drax: It hurts.
Gamora: Hurts?
Drax: I have sensitive nipples. What about him?! What's he doing?!
Rocket: If I finish this, we can listen to tunes while we work.
Drax: How is that a priority?
Rocket: Blame Quill! He's the one who loves music so much!
Peter Quill: I agree with Drax. It's hardly important right now.
Rocket: Oh, sure, okayyyy, Quill.
Peter Quill: No, I really agree with him.
Rocket: Sure, I know.
Drax: I can clearly see you winking.
Rocket: Damn. I'm using my left eye?
Groot: I am Groot.
Rocket: They were not looking at you funny. Well. That's intense.
Peter Quill: Groot, look - !
Gamora: Get out of the way, Groot! You're going to get hurt! Hi.
Rocket: Spit it out! Spit it out! Disgusting.
Drax: The beast's hide is too thick to be pierced from the outside. I must cut through it from the inside.
Gamora: Huh? Drax, no! That doesn't make -
Peter Quill: What is he doing?!
Gamora: He said the skin is too thick to be pierced from the outside, so he -
Peter Quill: That doesn't make sense!
Gamora: I tried to tell - !
Peter Quill: Its skin is the same thickness from the inside as from the out!
Gamora: I REALIZE THAT.
Peter Quill: Gamora, there's a cut on its neck - Rocket, get it to look up. Hey, you giant Sea Monkey, up here!
Drax: Ha ha! I have single-handedly vanquished the beast! What? What are they called again?
Peter Quill: Anulax batteries.
Drax: Harbulary batteries.
Peter Quill: That's nothing like what I just said. But they're worth thousands of units a piece. Which is why the Sovereign hired us to protect them. Just be careful what you say around these folks. They're easily offended and the cost of transgression is death.
Drax: Sounds judgmental for a bunch of golden morons.
Peter Quill: That's the kind of thing you might want to keep to yourself.
Gamora: I'll hold my tongue, as long as they deliver what was promised.
Ayesha: We thank you, Guardians, for putting your life on the line. We could not risk the lives of our own Sovereign citizens. Every citizen is born exactly as designed by the community, impeccable, both physically and mentally. We control the DNA of our progeny, germinating them in birthing pods.
Peter Quill: I guess I prefer making people the old-fashioned way.
Ayesha: Well... perhaps someday you could give me a history lesson in the archaic ways of our ancestors... for academic purposes.
Peter Quill: Yeah, I mean, if it's for research that could be pretty - Pretty repulsive. I'm not into that kind of casual -
Gamora: Oh, please. Your people promised something in trade for our services. Bring it and we shall gladly be on our way.
Peter Quill: Family reunion. Yaaaay.
Ayesha: I understand she is your sister?
Gamora: She's worth no more to me than the bounty due for her on Xandar.
Ayesha: Our soldiers apprehended her attempting to steal the batteries. Do with her as you please.
Peter Quill: Thank you, High Priestess Ayesha.
Ayesha: What is your heritage, Mr. Quill?
Peter Quill: My mother is from earth.
Ayesha: And your father?
Peter Quill: He's... not from Missouri, that's all I know.
Ayesha: I see it within you, an unorthodox genealogy. A hybrid that seems particularly... reckless.
Rocket: You know, they told me you people were conceited douchebags. But that isn't true at all. Oh, shit, I'm using my wrong eye again, aren't I? I'm sorry. That was meant to be behind your back.
Drax: Count yourself blessed they didn't kill you.
Rocket: You're telling me. You wanna buy some batteries? Let's get baldy back to Xandar and retrieve that bounty!
Gamora: You all right?
Peter Quill: That stuff about my father. Who does she think she is?
Gamora: I know you're sensitive about that.
Peter Quill: I'm not sensitive about it. I just don't know who he is. Sorry if it looked like I was flirting with her. I wasn't.
Gamora: I don't care if you were.
Peter Quill: I think you do care. That's why I'm apologizing.
Drax: Gamora is not the one for you, Quill. There are two types of beings in the universe. Those who dance, and those who do not.
Peter Quill: Uh huh.
Drax: I first met my beloved at a war rally. Everyone in the village flailed about, dancing. Except one woman. My Ovette. I knew immediately she was the one. The most melodic song in the world could be playing, and she wouldn't even tap her foot. She wouldn't move a muscle. One might assume she was dead.
Peter Quill: Well, that is pretty hot, but-
Drax: It would make my nether regions engorge -
Peter Quill: All right, okay, fascinating, don't need to hear it. I get your point, I'm a dancer and Gamora is not.
Drax: You just need to find a woman who is pathetic, like you.
Nebula: I am hungry. Hand me some of that yaro root.
Gamora: No. It's not ripe yet. And I hate you.
Nebula: You hate me?! You left me there while you stole that stone for yourself. Yet here you stand, a hero, a Garden of the Galaxy!
Gamora: A what? 'Guardians of the Galaxy.'
Nebula: Oh.
Gamora: Why would we be 'the Gardens of the Galaxy'?
Nebula: I don't know. I thought it was stupid.
Gamora: Yeah, it would be.
Nebula: It's still wordy.
Gamora: I wasn't the one who thought of it.
Nebula: Your name doesn't matter. I'll be free of these shackles soon enough, and I'll kill you, I swear.
Gamora: No. You'll live out your days in a prison on Xandar, wishing you could.
Peter Quill: We got an armed Sovereign fleet, approaching from the rear.
Gamora: Why would they do that?!
Drax: Probably because Rocket stole some of their batteries.
Rocket: Dude.
Drax: Oh, right. He didn't steal one of those. I don't know why they're after us. What a mystery this is.
Peter Quill: What were you thinking?!
Rocket: Dude, it was really easy to steal.
Gamora: That's your defense?
Rocket: Come on. You saw how that high- priestess talked down to us! I'm teaching her a lesson!
Peter Quill: Oh! I didn't realize your motivation was altruism. A shame the Sovereign have mistaken your intentions and are trying to kill us.
Rocket: Exactly.
Peter Quill: I WAS BEING SARCASTIC!
Rocket: Oh no! You tricked me! You're supposed to use a sarcastic voice! Now I look foolish!
Peter Quill: SHUT UP, DRAX! You knew! You should have told us!
Drax: Did you tell him it was easy to steal?
Rocket: Are you kidding me?
Drax: What?
Rocket: You never listen to anything!
Gamora: None of you listens! Can we please just put the bickering on hold until after we survive the massive space battle?!
Rocket: Whoa. Somebody woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.
Peter Quill: Do not try to bro down with me right now, dude. I will fricking punch you in your fricking face.
Rocket: Real nice! Resorting to violence.
Peter Quill: More incoming!
Rocket: GOOD! I WANT TO KILL SOME GUYS!
Sovereign Pilot: Bloody hell!
Gamora: You're not killing anyone. Those ships are all remotely piloted.
Ayesha: What is the delay, Admiral?
Admiral: High Priestess, if we destroy their craft, we risk destroying the batteries. They're extraordinarily combustible and could, in turn, destroy the entire fleet.
Ayesha: We have thousands of batteries and thousands of ships. Our concern is their slight against our people. We hired them and they steal from us? It is heresy of the highest order.
Admiral: All command modules - Fire with the intent to kill.
Peter Quill: What's the closest habitable planet?
Gamora: It's called Berhert.
Peter Quill: How many jumps?
Gamora: Only one. But the access point is 47 clicks away. And it's through that Quantum Asteroid Field over there.
Drax: Quill, to make it through that, you'd have to be the greatest pilot in the universe.
Peter Quill: Lucky for us -
Rocket: I am. What are you doing?!
Peter Quill: I've been flying this rig since I was ten years old.
Rocket: I was cybernetically engineered to pilot a spacecraft!
Peter Quill: You were cybernetically engineered to be a douchebag.
Gamora: Stop it!
Rocket: Quill, later on tonight you're gonna lay down in your bed and there's gonna be something squishy in your pillowcase and you're gonna be, like, 'what's this?' and it's gonna be because I put a turd in there.
Peter Quill: You put your turd in my bed, I shave you.
Rocket: Oh it won't be my turd, it will be Drax's.
Drax: I have famously huge turds.
Gamora: We're about to die, and this is what we're discussing?
Drax: They raise havoc with the pipes. That's why I do all the plumbing. I take responsibility for my actions. Unlike some people...
Peter Quill: Groot, he's right, you have to start aiming inside the box.
Gamora: Stop it.
Nebula: Idiots!
Rocket: Well, that's what you get when Quill flies. Ow!
Gamora: There's still a Sovereign craft behind us!
Peter Quill: Our weapons are down!
Gamora: Twenty clicks to the jump.
Peter Quill: Where's he going?
Frightened Pilot: Come on, Zylak, you can do this.
Drax: It's not ripe.
Gamora: Fifteen clicks. Ten clicks.
Drax: Die, spaceship.
Frightened Pilot: You suck, Zylak.
Gamora: Five clicks!
Peter Quill: Son-of-a-! They went around the field!
Admiral: Someone destroyed all the ships.
Ayesha: What?! WHO?!
Rocket: What is that?!
Peter Quill: Doesn't matter! That's the jump point! GO! GO!
Rocket: It's a guy.
Gamora: Oh my God.
Peter Quill: Groot, put on your seat belt! Prepare for a really bad -
Drax: Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! That was awesome.
Gamora: Either one of you could have gotten us through that field, if you had flown with what's between your ears instead of what's between your legs!
Peter Quill: If what's between my legs had a hand on it, I guarantee I could have landed this ship.
Gamora: It's not funny, Peter. We almost died. Because of your arrogance.
Peter Quill: More like because he stoled Anulax batteries!
Drax: They're called Harbulary batteries.
Peter Quill: No, they're not!
Rocket: You know why I did it, Star-Munch? Do you?
Peter Quill: I'm not going to answer to 'Star- Munch.'
Rocket: I DID IT BECAUSE I WANTED TO.
Peter Quill: Dick.
Rocket: What are we even talking about this for? We just had a little man save us by blowing up fifty ships!
Drax: How little?
Rocket: Like this.
Gamora: A little one-inch man saved us?
Rocket: Well, if he got closer I'm sure he'd be much larger.
Peter Quill: That's how eyes work, you stupid raccoon.
Rocket: Don't call me a raccoon!
Peter Quill: Oh, I'm sorry, I meant to say 'trash panda.'
Rocket: Is that better?
Drax: I don't know.
Peter Quill: It's worse.
Rocket: YOU SON-OF-A-!!
Nebula: Someone followed you through the jump point. Set me free. You'll need my help.
Gamora: I'm not a fool, Nebula.
Nebula: You're a fool if you deprive yourself a hand in combat.
Gamora: You'll attack me the moment I let you go.
Nebula: No, I won't.
Peter Quill: You'd think an evil supervillain would learn how to properly lie.
Drax: I bet it's the one-inch man!!
Ego: After all these years, I've found you.
Peter Quill: Who the hell are you?
Ego: I figured my rugged good looks would make that obvious. My name's Ego. And I'm your Dad, Peter.
Tullk: Yondu! Come on down!
Stakar: And I was like, Aleta, I love you, but you're crazy now, you always been -
Yondu: Stakar. Been some time. I'd -
Stakar: Seems like this establishment is the wrong kind of disreputable.
Yondu: Stakar...
Stakar: There are a hundred Ravager factions, Sneeper. You just lost the business of ninety-nine by serving one.
Proprietor: Please, sir! Sir!
Yondu: You all can go to hell! I don't care what you think of me!
Stakar: Then why you following us for?!
Yondu: 'Cause you'll listen to what I got to say!
Stakar: I don't got to listen to nothing! You betrayed the code! Ravagers don't deal in kids!
Yondu: I didn't know what was going on -
Stakar: You didn't know 'cause you didn't want to know, 'cause it made you rich!
Yondu: I demand a seat at the table! I wear the flames same as you!
Stakar: You may dress like a Ravager but you won't hear no Horns of Freedom when you die, boy, and the Colors of Ogord will not flash over your grave! You think I take some pleasure in exiling you, you're wrong. You broke all our hearts.
Taserface: First Quill betrays us and Yondu just lets him go, scot-free. Now he's getting all riled over nothing. We followed him 'cause he was the one wasn't afraid to do what needed to be done. Seems like he's going soft.
Kraglin: If he's so soft why you whispering for?
Taserface: You know I'm right, Kraglin.
Tullk: You best watch what you say about the Cap'n, Tay -
Retch: Who the hell is that?!
Ayesha: Yondu Udonta, I have a proposition for you.
Ego: When your mother passed away, I hired Yondu to pick you up. I would have done so myself, but I was in the midst of an outlandish adventure at the time, battling demonic forces to save this dimension or some such nonsense - I can't quite recall, it all bleeds together after awhile. But instead of returning you, Yondu kept you. I have no clue as to why.
Peter Quill: Because I was a skinny kid who could squeeze into places adults couldn't, making thieving easier.
Ego: I've been trying to track you down ever since.
Drax: I thought Yondu was your father.
Peter Quill: What? We've been together all this time and you thought Yondu was my actual, blood relative?
Drax: You look exactly alike.
Rocket: One's blue.
Peter Quill: He wasn't my father. Yondu was the guy who abducted me. He'd beat the crap out of me so I'd learn how to fight and he kept me in terror threatening to eat me.
Ego: Eat you?!
Peter Quill: Yes.
Ego: That son-of-a-bitch.
Gamora: How'd you locate us now?
Ego: Even where I reside, out past the edge of what's known, we've heard tell of the man they call Star- Lord. Say we head out that way now? Your associates are welcome, even that triangle-faced monkey there. I promise you, it's like no place you've ever seen. And there I can explain your very special heritage, and finally be the father I've always wanted to be. 'Scuse me. I gotta take a whizz.
Peter Quill: Not buying it.
Gamora: Peter, we need to take a walk.
Mantis: I am Mantis.
Drax: What are you doing?
Mantis: Smiling. I hear it is the thing to do to make people like you.
Drax: Not if you do it like that.
Mantis: Oh. I was raised alone on Ego's planet. I do not understand the intricacies of social interaction. Can I pet your puppy? It is adorable.
Drax: Yes...
Mantis: AHH!
Drax: That's called a practical joke!
Mantis: I liked it very much!
Peter Quill: Give me a break! After all this time, and he just expects to be my Dad all of the sudden!
Gamora: I hear you.
Peter Quill: I mean, this could be a trap - the Kree purists, the Ravagers, now the Sovereign - they all want us dead.
Gamora: I know, but -
Peter Quill: But what?
Gamora: What was that story you told me about Zardu Hasselfrau?
Peter Quill: Who?
Gamora: The wonderful television-singer man. He had a magic boat.
Peter Quill: David Hasselhoff?
Gamora: Right.
Peter Quill: He had a talking car, not a magic -
Gamora: Why did it talk again?
Peter Quill: Just to be a good friend, I guess.
Gamora: And as a child you carried his picture in your pocket, and you told the other children he was your father, but he was out of town -
Peter Quill: Shooting Knight Rider or touring with his band in Germany. Why are you bringing this up now? I was drunk when I told you that.
Gamora: I love that story.
Peter Quill: I don't. It's just sad! I was so sad because I'd see the other kids off playing catch with their dads, and I wanted that, more than anything in the world.
Gamora: My point is, maybe this man is your Hasselhoff. I know it's a long shot. But I lost my father as a child. I'd give anything... If he ends up being evil, we'll just kill him. What's funny?
Nebula: You're leaving me with that fox?!
Gamora: He's not a fox. Shoot her if she does anything suspicious. Or if you feel like it. It will just be a couple days. We'll be back before Rocket's finished fixing the ship.
Drax: What about your spool of songs?
Peter Quill: I have clones.
Drax: What if the Sovereign come?
Peter Quill: There's no way for them to know they're here.
Drax: I am uncertain about parting ways.
Peter Quill: You're like an old woman.
Drax: Because I am wise?
Rocket: Hope daddy isn't as big of a dick as you, orphan boy.
Peter Quill: So what's your goal here? To get everyone to hate you? 'Cause it's working. Can I ask you a personal question?
Mantis: Oh, no one has ever asked me a personal question!
Peter Quill: The antennae, what are they for?
Mantis: Their purpose?
Drax: Yes, Quill and I have a bet.
Peter Quill: You're not supposed to say that.
Drax: I say that if you are about to go through a doorway that is too low, your antennae will feel this, and stop you from being decapitated.
Peter Quill: Just making clear - if it's anything else - any other answer - I win?
Mantis: They are not for feeling doorways.
Drax: Damn. I just lost my entire life's savings.
Peter Quill: Three pairs of pants.
Mantis: I think they have something to do with my empathic abilities.
Gamora: What are - ?
Mantis: If I touch someone I can feel their feelings -
Peter Quill: You read minds?
Mantis: No. Telepaths know thoughts. Empaths feel feelings. Emotions. May I? You feel love.
Peter Quill: Yeah, I guess, yeah, I have sort of a general, unselfish love for everyone.
Mantis: No, romantic, sexual love.
Peter Quill: No. No, I don't.
Mantis: For her.
Peter Quill: No.
Drax: She just told everyone your deepest, darkest secret, Quill! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Peter Quill: What the hell, dude? That's a total overreaction.
Drax: DO ME! DO ME!
Mantis: I have never felt such humor!
Peter Quill: You got to be kidding me. That's so incredibly uncool.
Gamora: Touch me. And the only thing you're going to feel is a broken jaw.
Mantis: I can also alter emotions, to some extent.
Peter Quill: Like what?
Mantis: If I touch someone who is sad I can ease them into contentment, for a short while. I can make a stubborn person compliant. But I mostly use it to help my Master sleep. He lies awake at night, thinking about his progeny.
Drax: Do one of those on me!
Mantis: Sleep.
Gamora: Is that real?
Peter Quill: It's kind of like someone put a baby's head on a big, muscular body, isn't it?
Tall Ravager: There!
Brahl: Ain't so tough now without all your toys, are you?
Rocket: Crap.
Yondu: Hey there, rat.
Rocket: How's it going, you blue idiot?
Yondu: Eh, not so bad. We got a pretty good gig. A golden gal with quite a high opinion of herself offered us a large sum to deliver you and your pals to her, so she can kill y'all.
Nebula: Your friend. There's too many of them. They're going to kill him. He needs my help. If you care about him, you need to get me out of these bonds.
Yondu: Pretty easy to find you, since we put a tracer on your ship back during the War over Xandar.
Rocket: You give me your word you won't hurt Groot, and I'll tell you where the batteries are.
Yondu: Lucky for you my word don't mean squat. Otherwise I'd actually hand you over.
Taserface: Otherwise you'd what?!
Yondu: We'll take the batteries. They're worth a a quarter mil on the open market -
Taserface: That priestess offered us a million! A quarter is only one third of that!
Yondu: A quarter ain't one-th -
Oblo: A quarter is four times a million! We're in the money!
Gef The Ravager: No, idiot. A quarter is twenty- five.
Yondu: No -
Gef The Ravager: We can't even buy a pair of boots with twenty-five units!
Yondu: The point is, we aren't stupid enough to help kill the Guardians of the Galaxy. We'd have the whole Nova Corps on us.
Kraglin: That ain't right. I just gotta say it this one time, Cap'n. No matter how many times Quill betrays you, you protect him, like none of the rest of us much matter. I'm the one what sticks up for you, me and Tullk.
Taserface: Damn straight, lad. You're right: he's going soft. S'pose it's time for a change in leadership!
Kraglin: Uh -
Tullk: Put you damn guns down!
Rocket: Hold on! There's got to be some sort of peaceful resolution here! Or even a violent resolution, where I'm standing over there.
Nebula: Well, hello, boys. It's not ripe.
Ego: Welcome, friends, to my world.
Peter Quill: Wow. You have your own planet?
Ego: But a trifle, no larger than your earth's moon.
Drax: Humility. I like it. I too, am extraordinarily humble.
Peter Quill: It's beautiful.
Ego: Peter, consider this a token of a father's pride. A memorial to the War Over Xandar, when you single-handedly saved the galaxy.
Gamora: Single-handedly?
Peter Quill: Whoa. It's perfect.
Gamora: You've got to be kidding.
Drax: Why am I dead? Why did you all kill me?!
Gamora: That's Ronan. That's you.
Drax: When was I that tiny?
Gamora: You own a planet and can destroy two dozen spaceships without a suit. What are you, exactly?
Ego: I'm what they call a Celestial, sweetheart.
Peter Quill: A Celestial. Like a... god?
Ego: Small 'g', son. At least on the days I'm feeling humble as Drax. This form you see before you is only an extension of who I truly am. I don't know where I came from, exactly. The first thing I remember is flickering, adrift in the cosmos - utterly and entirely alone. I fed on the matter around me like plankton. I grew smarter and stronger. I formed a sheathe to protect myself from the elements. And continued building from there, layer by layer, the very planet you walk on now. I built the spires reaching up to the sky and the tunnels burrowing into its depths.
Peter Quill: Wow.
Ego: But I was no ant to be fulfilled solely by labor. I wanted more. I desired... meaning. There must be some life out there in the universe besides just me, I thought, and I set myself to task with finding it. I created what I imagined biological life might be like, down to the most minute detail.
Drax: Did you make a penis?
Peter Quill: Dude.
Drax: If he's a planet, how did he make a baby with your mother? He would smush her.
Peter Quill: I don't need to hear about how my parents, you know -
Drax: Why? My father would tell me the story of impregnating my mother every winter solstice.
Peter Quill: That's disgusting.
Drax: It was beautiful. You earthers have hang-ups.
Ego: Yes, Drax, I've got a penis.
Peter Quill: Oh my God.
Ego: It's not half bad. I've also got pain receptors, a digestive system, and all the accompanying junk. I wanted to experience what it truly meant to be human as I set out amongst the stars. I visited thousands of planets over thousands of years, one barren husk after the next until I found what I sought... Life. I was not alone in this universe after all.
Peter Quill: When did you meet my mother?
Ego: Not long after. It was with Meredith that I experienced love for the first time. I called her my river lily. And from that love, Peter, you. I searched for you for so long. When I heard a man from earth held an Infinity Stone in his hand without dying, I knew you must be the son of the woman I loved.
Peter Quill: If you loved her why did you leave her?
Tullk: You can't do this! This is mutiny! Mutiny!
Oblo: Cap'n, help me! Cap'n?!
Taserface: You're the one what kilt those men by leading 'em down the wrong path. Because you're weak. And stupid. It's time for the Ravagers to once again rise to glory with a new Cap'n... TASERFACE.
Rocket: I'm sorry. Your name is... it's 'Taserface'?
Taserface: That's right.
Rocket: Do you... shoot tasers out of your face?
Taserface: It's metaphorical!
Rocket: For what?
Taserface: It's a name what strikes fear in anyone what hears it!
Rocket: Really?... Okay, sure.
Taserface: You shut up! You're next! Udonta, I been waiting to do this for a long ti - What?! What?!
Rocket: I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I just keep imagining you waking up one morning, looking in the mirror, and, in all seriousness, saying 'You know what would be a really kickass name? Taserface!' What was your second choice?! Scrotum Hat?!
Taserface: New plan. We're killing you first.
Rocket: Well, dying is certainly better than having to live an entire life as a moronic shitbag who thinks 'Taserface' is a cool name.
Nebula: That's enough killing for today.
Taserface: Thought you were the biggest sadist in the galaxy.
Nebula: That was when Daddy was paying my bills. The Priestess wants to kill the fox herself. And he - has bounties on his head in at least twelve Kree provinces. I assure you, I am not as easy a mark as an old man without his magic stick or a talking woodland beast. I want ten percent of the take, and a couple more things.
Kraglin: We got a whole box of hands if that one don't work out.
Nebula: It's fine.
Kraglin: You think them Kree is gonna execute the Cap'n?
Nebula: The Kree consider themselves merciful. It will be painless.
Kraglin: Well, there it is, best ship we got. The location of Ego's planet's in the nav. We'll wire you the ten percent when we's paid. What you gonna do with your share?
Nebula: As a child my father would have Gamora and me battle one another in 'training.' Every time my sister prevailed my father would replace a piece of me with machinery, claiming he wanted me to be her equal. But she won, again and again and again. Never once refraining. Because of them, I am this. So after I murder my sister, I will buy a warship with every conceivable instrument of death. I will hunt my father like a dog and I will tear him apart slowly, piece by piece, until he knows some semblance of the profound and unceasing pain I know every single day.
Kraglin: Yeah... I was talking about, like, a pretty necklace. Or a nice hat. Something that'll make the other girls go 'oooooo, that's nice.' Anyway, uh, happy trails.
Peter Quill: My mother told everyone my father was from the stars. She had brain cancer - so everyone thought she was delusional.
Ego: Peter -
Peter Quill: Listen. I'd love to believe all of this, I really would - but you left the most wonderful woman ever, to die alone!
Ego: I didn't want to leave your mother, Peter. But if I don't return regularly to this planet, and the light within, this form will wither and perish -
Peter Quill: So why didn't you come back?! Why'd you send Yondu, a criminal, of all people, to fetch me?!
Ego: I loved your mother, Peter! I couldn't stand to set foot on an earth where she wasn't living! You can't imagine what that's like!
Peter Quill: I know exactly what that's like! I had to watch her die!
Ego: Over the millions and millions of years of my existence I have made many mistakes, Peter. But you're not one of them. Please give me the chance to be the father she would want me to be. There are so many things I need to teach you. This planet, and the light within... they are a part of you.
Peter Quill: What do you mean?
Ego: Give me your hands, son. Here. Hold them like that. Now close your eyes and concentrate. Take your brain to the center of the planet. Yes! Yes!
Peter Quill: Whoa.
Ego: Yes, yes - it's okay. Just relax. Concentrate. You can do it. Bring it back. Yes, yes, now - shape it - Feel the energy. Yes. You're home, Peter. Here.
Drax: How did you get here?
Mantis: Ego found me in my larva state, orphaned on my homeworld. He raised me by hand, and kept me as his own.
Drax: So you're a pet?
Mantis: I suppose.
Drax: People usually want cute pets. Why would Ego want a hideous one?
Mantis: I am hideous?
Drax: You're horrifying to look at, yes. But it is a good thing.
Mantis: Oh?
Drax: When you are ugly and someone loves you, you know they love you for who you are. Beautiful people never know who to trust.
Mantis: Well, then I am certainly grateful to be ugly! Poor Gamora. She can never trust anyone.
Drax: Those pools remind me of a time I took my daughter to visit the Forgotten Lakes on my homeworld. She was like you.
Mantis: Disgusting?
Drax: Innocent.
Mantis: I have never met anyone like you, or your friends. You are filled with such... love. It is a thing I did not know existed, not like this, and I think... I think it may be the very finest of all things. It both hurts and soothes the heart. Drax, there is something I must tell -
Gamora: What's going on?
Mantis: I am learning many things. Like I am a pet and ugly.
Gamora: You're not ugly. Drax. Mantis, can you show us where we'll be staying? I'm getting eye-strain in this place. Why are there no other beings on this planet?
Mantis: The planet IS Ego. A dog would not invite a flea to live on his back.
Gamora: And you're not a flea?
Mantis: I'm a flea with a purpose. I help him sleep.
Gamora: What were you about to say to Drax before I walked out?
Mantis: Nothing. Your quarters are this way.
Taserface: We'll deliver you to the Kree in the morning. Neither one of you gonna last much longer after that.
Rocket: Okay, Taserface. See you later, Taserface. Hey, Taserface, tell the other guys we said hi, Taserface!
Gef The Ravager: What about the little plant? Can I smash it with a rock?
Taserface: No, Gef! It's too adorable to kill. Bring it to the tailor.
Rocket: No offense, but your employees are a bunch of jerks.
Yondu: I was a Kree battle-slave for twenty years when Stakar freed me. He offered me a place in the Ravagers. Said all I needed to do was adhere to the code. But I was young and greedy and stupid - like you stealing those batteries.
Rocket: That was mostly Drax.
Yondu: Me and Stakar, and the other captains - we weren't so different from you and your friends. The only family I ever had. But I broke the code. They exiled me. These ones here are the ones who followed - of course they're jerks. Which is what I deserve.
Rocket: Slow down, drama queen. You might deserve this, but I don't. We gotta get out of here.
Yondu: Where's Quill?
Rocket: Went off with his old man.
Yondu: Ego?
Rocket: Yeah. It's a day for dumbass names. You smiled and for a second I got a warm feeling, but then it was ruined by those disgusting-ass teeth. Ever heard of floss?
Yondu: You're like a professional asshole or - ?
Rocket: Pretty much a pro. Why didn't you deliver Quill to Ego like you promised?
Yondu: He was skinny, could fit into places we couldn't. Good for thieving. I got an idea on how to get outta here. But we're gonna need your little friend.
Retch: Lil' feller's all worked up! Needs a drank! Lookit how cute it is when it's all riled up!
Half-Nut: It's Goddang precious!
Yondu: Hey, twig. C'mere.
Rocket: Oh, man. What'd they do to you?
Yondu: Hey, you wanna help us get outta here? There's something I need you to get, and bring back to me. In the Cap'n's quarters, there's a prototype fin, like the thing I wore on my head. There's a drawer next to the bunk. It's inside that. It's red. You got it? That's my underwears.
Rocket: Yeah, I was pretty sure he didn't know what you were talking about. You have to explain it more careful.
Yondu: All right. It's a prototype fin -
Rocket: That's an orloni. It's a fin, Groot.
Yondu: You explain it this time. That's Vorker's eye. He takes it out when he sleeps. Go look again.
Rocket: But leave the eye here.
Yondu: Why?
Rocket: He's gonna wake up tomorrow and he's not gonna know where his eye is! That's a desk. We told you it was this big. Tell me you guys have a refrigerator somewhere with a bunch of severed human toes. Okay, then let's just agree to never discuss this.
Yondu: The drawer you want to open. Has this symbol on it, okay? What? No.
Rocket: He thinks you want him to wear it as a hat.
Yondu: That's not what I said.
Groot: I am Groot.
Rocket: He's relieved that you don't want him to.
Groot: I am Groot.
Rocket: He hates hats.
Groot: I am Groot.
Rocket: On anyone, not just himself.
Groot: I am Groot.
Rocket: One minute you think someone has a weird-shaped head. The next minute, it's just because you realize part of that head is a hat. That's why you don't like hats?
Yondu: This is an important conversation right now?
Rocket: No. Let's try again.
Kraglin: That ain't it. I didn't mean to do a mutiny. They killed all my friends.
Yondu: Go get the third quadrant ready for release.
Rocket: One more thing. You got any clones of Quill's old music on the ship?
Taserface: He's got it! HE'S GOT IT! YONDU'S GOT THE DAMN FIN!
Retch: GO!
Scurrilous Ravager: Down there!
Rocket: You maniac. The whole ship is gonna blow.
Yondu: Not the whole ship.
Chambermaid: Who is this? You're not supposed to be on this line.
Taserface: I'm sending you the coordinates for Yondu's ship.
Yondu: Release the quadrant.
Kraglin: Aye Capn'
Taserface: I only ask one thing. That your High Priestess tells him the name of the man what sealed his fate: Taserface.
Kraglin: Where to, Cap'n?
Rocket: Ego.
Yondu: NO, BOY! It ain't healthy for a mammalian body to hop over fifty jumps at a time.
Rocket: I know that.
Yondu: We're about to do seven-hundred.
Peter Quill: So I guess this could all be mine someday.
Gamora: Rocket? Rocket, you there? Dammit. What are you doing, Peter?
Peter Quill: Dance with me.
Gamora: No. I'm not -
Peter Quill: Come on. This is Sam Cooke, one of the greatest Earth singers of all time. Drax thinks you're not a dancer.
Gamora: If you ever tell anyone about this, I'll kill you.
Peter Quill: When are we going to do something about this... unspoken thing between us?
Gamora: What unspoken thing?
Peter Quill: This Cheers-Sam-and-Diane-guy-and- girl-on-a-TV-show-who-dig-each- other-but-never-say-it-'cause-when- they-do-the-ratings-would-go-down sort of thing?
Gamora: There is no unspoken thing between us.
Peter Quill: Well, that's a Catch-22. Because if you said there was, it would be spoken, and then you'd be a liar. So by saying there isn't, you're telling the truth, and admitting there is.
Gamora: That's not - What we should be discussing right now is that something about this place doesn't feel right.
Peter Quill: What are you talking about? You were the one who wanted me to come here!
Gamora: That girl, Mantis. She's afraid of something.
Peter Quill: Why are you trying to take this from me?
Gamora: I'm not -
Peter Quill: He's my father. He's blood -
Gamora: You have blood on earth. You never wanted to return there.
Peter Quill: Again - you made me come here! And Earth?! Earth is the place my mother died in front of me.
Gamora: No, it's because that's real, and this is a fantasy.
Peter Quill: This is real. I'm only half human, remember?
Gamora: That's the half I'm worried about.
Peter Quill: Oh, I get it. You're jealous because I'm part god! You like me being the weak one!
Gamora: Uh. You were insufferable to begin with. I haven't been able to reach Rocket. I'm going to see if I can get a signal outside.
Peter Quill: You know, this isn't Cheers after all. It's whatever the show is where one person is willing to, you know, open themselves up to new possibilities, and the other person is just kind of a jerk who doesn't trust anyone! It's a show that doesn't exist - it would never be made, it would be so horrible! It would get zero ratings!
Gamora: You're having a conversation with yourself! I don't know what Cheers is!
Peter Quill: I finally found my family, don't you understand that!?
Gamora: I thought you already had.
Peter Quill: So this is how it ends, then? Our whole story. Like this? You and me?
Gamora: Get it through your head, Peter. There is no you and me. There never was. Dammit. You psychopath. Are you kidding me?!
Nebula: I win. I win. I bested you in combat.
Gamora: Uh, no, I just spared your life -
Nebula: You were stupid enough to let me live so -
Gamora: You just let me live!
Nebula: I WIN!
Gamora: Nebula, I really don't need this. My day has been bad enough -
Nebula: I don't need you always trying to beat me!
Gamora: I'm not the one who just flew across the universe because I wanted to win!
Nebula: Don't tell me what I want!
Gamora: I don't have to because you make it obvi -
Nebula: YOU WERE THE ONE WHO WANTED TO WIN, I JUST WANTED A SISTER! You were all I had, but you were the one who needed to win! Thanos pulled my eye from my head and my brain from my skull and my arm from my body because of you!
Ego: You all right, son? I saw your girl stomp off earlier in quite a huff.
Peter Quill: Yeah.
Ego: It's fortuitous you're listening to this song.
Peter Quill: You know - ?
Ego: 'Brandy' by Looking Glass. A favorite of your mom's.
Peter Quill: Yes.
Ego: One of earth's greatest musical compositions. Perhaps its very greatest.
Peter Quill: Yeah, it is.
Ego: You and I, Peter, we're the sailor in the song. He came on a summer's day, bringing gifts from far away - like the child I put in your mother, or the freedom you brought Gamora. Brandy, you're a fine girl, what a good wife you would be. But my life, my love, my lady is the sea. The sea calls the sailor back. He loves the girl, but that's not his place. The sea calls upon him as history calls upon great men, and sometimes we are deprived the pleasures of mortals.
Peter Quill: Well, you might not be mortal, but me -
Ego: Death will remain a stranger to both of us as long as the light burns within the planet.
Peter Quill: I'm immortal? That's... really?
Ego: Yes, as long as the light exists.
Peter Quill: And I can use the light to make cool things? Like how you made all this?
Ego: It'll take thousands of years of practice before you get really good at it . But, yes.
Peter Quill: Well, get ready for an eight hundred foot statue of Pac Man, then. With Skeletor. And Heather Locklear. I'm gonna make some weird shit.
Ego: I can't wait to see your weird shit.
Peter Quill: Wow, that...
Ego: Came out a little disgusting. It is a tremendous responsibility, Peter. Only we can remake the universe. Only we can take the bridle of the cosmos and lead it where it needs to go.
Peter Quill: How?
Ego: Come with me.
Mantis: Drax! Drax! Drax, we need to talk -
Drax: Ugh. I am sorry, but I like a woman with some meat on her bones.
Mantis: What?
Drax: I tried to let you down easily by telling you I found you disgusting.
Mantis: No! That's not what I - What are you doing?!
Drax: I'm imagining being with you physically!
Mantis: Drax, that's not - I don't like you like that. I don't even like the type of thing you are.
Drax: Hey! There's no need to get personal!
Mantis: Listen! Ego's gotten exactly what he wanted. I should have told you earlier, I am stupid. You are in danger.
Gamora: What's that?
Ego: You need to readjust the way you process life. Everything around us - including the girl - is temporary. We are forever.
Peter Quill: Doesn't eternity get boring?
Ego: Not if you have a purpose, Peter. Which is why you're here. I told you how all those years ago I had an unceasing impulse to find life. I didn't tell you how when I did find it, it was all so... disappointing. And that is when I came to a profound realization. My innate desire to seek out other life was not so that I could walk among that life. Peter, I had found meaning.
Peter Quill: I see it. Eternity.
Gamora: Oh my God.
Nebula: We need to get off this planet.
Stan Lee: Anyway, before I was so rudely interrupted, that time I was a World War II vet -
Yondu: What the hell you doing, boy?!
Rocket: I could tell by how you talked about him - this Ego is bad news. We're here to save Quill.
Yondu: For what? For 'honor'? For 'love'?
Rocket: No! I don't care about those things! I want to save Quill so I can prove I'm better than him! I can lord this over him forever! What are you laughing at me for?!
Yondu: You can fool yourself and everyone else but you can't fool me. I know who you are.
Rocket: You don't know anything about me, loser.
Yondu: I know everything about you. I know you play like the meanest and the hardest 'cause you actually the most scared of all.
Rocket: Shut up.
Yondu: I know you steal batteries you don't need and you push away anyone who's willing to put up with you, 'cause just a little bit of love reminds you how big and empty that hole inside you actually is!
Rocket: I said, shut up.
Yondu: I know the scientists what made you never gave a rat's ass about you -
Rocket: I'm serious, dude - !
Yondu: Just like my own damn parents, who sold me, their own little baby, into slavery! I know who you are, boy, because you're me.
Rocket: What kind of pair are we?
Yondu: The kind that's about to go fight a planet I reckon.
Rocket: All right, okay, that's - Wait. Fight a what?
Drax: Hey!
Gamora: Who are you people?! What is this place?!
Drax: What is she doing here?
Nebula: Just watching the fireworks.
Drax: Gamora, let her go!
Gamora: The bodies in the caverns, who are they?!
Mantis: You are scared.
Ego: I call it the Expansion. It is my purpose. And now it's yours as well.
Peter Quill: It's beautiful.
Ego: Over thousands of years I implanted thousands of extensions of myself on thousands of worlds. I needed to fulfill life's one true purpose: to grow and to spread, covering all that exists, until everything... is me.
Gamora: What did she do to me?!
Drax: She already told me everything.
Ego: I only had one problem. A single Celestial doesn't have enough power for such an enterprise. But two Celestials - well now, that just might do.
Mantis: The bodies are his children.
Ego: Out of all my labors the most beguiling was attempting to graft my DNA with that of another species. I hoped the result of such a coupling would be enough to power the expansion. I had Yondu deliver some of them to me. It broke the Ravager code - but I compensated him generously. And, to ease his conscience, I told him I would never hurt them. That was true. They never felt a thing. But, one after the other, they failed me. None of them had the Celestial genes. Until you, Peter. Out of all my spawn, only you have carried the connection to the light.
Gamora: We need to find Peter now and get off this damn planet.
Mantis: Ego will have won him to his side by now. He has a way of -
Nebula: Then we just go.
Gamora: No. He's our friend.
Nebula: All any of you do is yell at each other. You're not friends.
Drax: You're right. We're family. We leave no one behind. Except maybe you.
Nebula: Oh my god.
Ego: For the first time in my life, I am truly not alone. What is it, son?
Peter Quill: My friends.
Ego: That's the mortal in you, Peter.
Peter Quill: Yes. I don't need that.
Ego: What are we?
Peter Quill: Forever.
Ego: What are they?
Peter Quill: Temporary.
Ego: You think you love them. But love is merely an evolutionary trick in the service of reproduction. We are beyond such things.
Peter Quill: Yes.
Ego: Now -
Peter Quill: But my mother. You said you loved my mother.
Ego: That I did. My river lily, who knew the words to every song that came on the radio. I returned to earth to see her three times. I knew if I came back a fourth, I'd never leave. The expansion, the reason for my very existence would be over. So I did what I had to do. But it broke my heart to put that tumor in her head.
Peter Quill: Wh- what?
Ego: I know that sounds bad - Who in the hell do you think you are?
Peter Quill: You killed my mother!
Ego: I tried so hard to find the form that best suited you, and this is the thanks I get? You really need to grow up. I wanted to do this together! But I suppose you'll have to learn by spending the next thousand years as a battery, 'Star-Lord'.
Gamora: Rocket?!
Rocket: Keep that transmitter nearby so I can find you. We're in an old piece of construction equipment Yondu once used to slice open the Bank of A'askavaria.
Gamora: Ego's unhinged -
Rocket: I know. Get ready.
Yondu: Drop it, Kraglin!
Rocket: I got a plan.
Yondu: What is it?
Rocket: It's pretty simple.
Peter Quill: NO.
Ego: 'My life, my love, my lady is the sea'? Peter, THIS IS THE SEA.
Yondu: Hey there, Jackass.
Drax: Out of the way, dumber, smaller Groot.
Gamora: I told you something didn't feel right.
Peter Quill: 'I told you so.' That's really what I need right now.
Gamora: I came back, didn't I?
Peter Quill: Because there's an unspoken thing.
Gamora: There is no unspoken thing.
Drax: What are you doing? You could have killed us all crashing in here like that!
Rocket: Uh, 'Thank you, Rocket'?
Drax: We had it under control.
Mantis: We did not. That is only an extension of his true self. He will be back soon.
Peter Quill: What's Smurfette doing here!?
Nebula: Back rubs, dishes, killing gods, whatever I need to do to get a damn ride home.
Rocket: She tried to murder me!
Nebula: I saved you, you stupid fox.
Gamora: He's not a fox.
Groot: I am Groot.
Rocket: I'm not a raboon either!
Groot: I am Groot.
Rocket: 'Raccoon,' whatever!
Drax: How do we kill a Celestial?
Peter Quill: There's the center to him - his brain, his soul, whatever it is, in some sort of shell -
Mantis: It's in the caverns below the surface.
Peter Quill: YONDU?
Nebula: If he's got that fin back, I am so screwed.
Yondu: Thrusters are out!
Peter Quill: I guess I should be glad I was a skinny kid. Otherwise you would have delivered me to this maniac!
Yondu: You still reckon that's the reason I kept you around, you idiot?!
Peter Quill: That's what you told me, you old doofus!
Yondu: Once I figured out what happened to them other kids, I wasn't gonna just hand you over.
Peter Quill: You said you were gonna eat me!
Yondu: That was being funny!
Peter Quill: Not to me!!
Rocket: You people have issues.
Peter Quill: Of course I have issues that's my fricking father!!... Thrusters are back up.
Yondu: We should be going up!
Peter Quill: We can't. Ego wants to eradicate the universe as we know it. We have to kill him. Rocket!
Rocket: Got it. So, we're saving the galaxy again?
Peter Quill: I guess.
Rocket: Awesome. We'll really be able to jack up our prices if we're two- time-galaxy savers.
Peter Quill: I seriously can't believe that is where your mind goes.
Rocket: It was just a random thought, man! I thought we were friends! Of course I care about the planets, and the buildings, and all of the animals on the planets.
Peter Quill: And the people.
Rocket: Meh.
Mantis: The crabby puppy is so cute he makes me want to die!
Drax: Your suicidal thoughts sadden me, but your wish will likely come true.
Ayesha: Pilots, release envoy units! Our sensors detect the batteries are below the surface of the planet. Dive!
Kraglin: Uhh... Cap'n? Cap'n?
Yondu: So why'd Ego want you here?
Peter Quill: He needs my genetic connection to the light to help destroy the universe. He tried to teach me how to control the power.
Yondu: So could you?
Peter Quill: A little. I made a ball.
Yondu: A ball?
Peter Quill: I thought as hard as a could, that's all I could come up with.
Yondu: You 'thought'? You think when I make this arrow fly I use my head?
Peter Quill: What do you use?
Gamora: Whoa.
Mantis: There! Thats Ego's core.
Gamora: That ore's thick. Rocket, we're gonna need to use the big laser.
Mantis: We must hurry. It will not take Ego long to find us.
Rocket: Keep it still!
Peter Quill: We drill into the center, we kill him.
Yondu: What is it, Kraglin?
Kraglin: Um, remember that Ayesha chick?
Yondu: Yeah, why? Aw, hell.
Peter Quill: Why aren't you firing the laser?!
Rocket: They blew out the generator! I think I packed a small detonator.
Nebula: A detonator is worthless without explosives!
Rocket: We got these!
Peter Quill: Is it strong enough to kill Ego?
Rocket: If it is, it will cause a chain reaction throughout his entire nervous system.
Peter Quill: Meaning what?
Rocket: The entire planet will explode. We'll have to get out of here fast. I rigged a timer.
Peter Quill: Go!
Mantis: He's coming.
Drax: Didn't you say you could make him sleep?
Mantis: When he wants! He's too powerful! I can't!
Drax: You don't have to believe in yourself because I believe in you.
Mantis: SLEEP!
Drax: I never thought she'd be able to do it. With as skinny and weak as she appears to be.
Mantis: I don't know how long I can hold him!
Gamora: You need to, girl. If you don't keep Ego at bay, we all die.
Rocket: The metal is too thick! For the bomb to work we'd actually need to place it on Ego's core. And our fat butts ain't gonna fit through those tiny holes.
Peter Quill: Well...
Rocket: That's a terrible idea.
Peter Quill: Which is the only kind of idea we got left.
Rocket: Unbelievable. 'Rocket, do this. Rocket, do that.'
Peter Quill: Uh, what a day.
Rocket: All right. First you flick this switch, then this switch. That activates it. And then you push this button, which will give you five minutes to get out of there. Whatever you do don't push this button, because that will set off the bomb immediately, and we'll all be dead. Now repeat back what I just said.
Groot: I am Groot.
Rocket: Uh huh.
Groot: I am Groot.
Rocket: That's right.
Groot: I am Groot.
Rocket: No! That's the button that will kill everyone! Try again.
Groot: I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot.
Rocket: No! That's exactly what you just said! How is that even possible?! Which button is the button you're supposed to push?! Point to it. NO!!!
Peter Quill: Hey, you're making him nervous!
Rocket: Shut up! And give me some tape! Does anyone have any tape out there!? I want to put some tape over the death button!
Peter Quill: I don't have any tape. Let me check. Yo, Yondu, do you have any - ow! - do you have any tape?! No one has any tape.
Rocket: Not a single person has tape?
Peter Quill: You have priceless batteries and an atomic bomb in your bag! If anyone had tape it would be you!
Rocket: That's exactly my point! I have to do everything!
Peter Quill: Dude, you're wasting time!
Rocket: We're all gonna die.
Yondu: We're done for without the generator.
Ayesha: Guardians! Perhaps it will provide you solace that your deaths are not without purpose. They will serve as a warning to all of those tempted with betraying us; don't screw with the Sovereign.
Yondu: This is gonna hurt.
Nebula: Promises, promises.
Drax: Hey!
Ayesha: NO!! NO! NOOOOO!!
Peter Quill: We're gonna blow!
Gamora: Peter?
Yondu: What?
Peter Quill: You look like Mary Poppins.
Yondu: Is he cool?
Peter Quill: Yeah. He's cool.
Yondu: I'm Mary Poppins, y'all!
Peter Quill: Oh. Wow.
Drax: She's just unconscious.
Peter Quill: How long before the bomb goes off?
Rocket: In the unlikely event Groot doesn't kill us all, about six minutes.
Yondu: Kraglin. We need the Quadrant for extraction in T-minus five minutes.
Kraglin: Aye, Cap'n!
Peter Quill: Someone needs to be up top when Kraglin arrives. Drax, take Mantis.
Drax: Ahhh! My nipples!
Peter Quill: Gamora!!
Nebula: Oh, get over it.
Gamora: We have to get up to the extraction point!
Ego: I told you I don't want to do this alone. You cannot deny the purpose the universe has bestowed upon you!
Officer Fitzgibbon: Please, everyone. Step back. I need you all to clear the -
Weird Old Man: What is that?
Grandpa Quill: Come on, ma'am.
Ego: It doesn't need to be like this Peter Why are you destroying our chance?! Stop pretending you aren't, what you are! One in billions... Trillions, even more! What greater meaning could life possibly have to offer?!
Yondu: I don't use my head to fly the arrow, boy! I use my h -
Peter Quill: You shouldn't have killed my mom and squished my walkman.
Rocket: Groot! Groot, if you can can hear me, hurry up - I'm not sure how long Quill can keep him distracted! Yondu! We're about to blow!
Yondu: Get to the ship.
Rocket: Not without Quill.
Yondu: You gotta take care of the twig.
Rocket: Not without you.
Yondu: I ain't done nothing right my whole damn life, rat. You need to give me this.
Rocket: A space suit and an aero rig. I only have one of each.
Groot: I am Groot.
Yondu: What's that?
Rocket: He says welcome to the frickin' Guardians of the Galaxy... only he didn't use 'frickin'.
Yondu: Bye, twig.
Rocket: We're gonna need to have a discussion about your language.
Gamora: Where's Peter? Rocket, where is he?! Rocket?! Rocket, look at me! Where is he?! I'm not leaving without him.
Rocket: I'm sorry. I can only afford to lose one friend today. Kraglin, GO!
Drax: Wait. Is Quill back? Rocket, where's Quill?! Where's Quill?! WHERE'S QUILL?!
Ego: No, we need to stop it! Listen to me! You are a god! If you kill me, you'll just be like everyone else!
Peter Quill: What's so wrong with that?
Ego: NO -
Yondu: He may have been your father, boy. But he wasn't your daddy.
Peter Quill: What?
Yondu: I'm sorry I didn't do it right. I'm damn lucky you're my boy.
Peter Quill: What? Yondu, you can't! What are you doing? What are you doing?! Yondu. Yondu, no! No. No! The other day I told Gamora how I used to pretend my dad was David Hasselhoff. He's a singer and actor from earth... a really famous guy. And, you know, today it struck me. Yondu didn't have a talking car, but he did have a flying arrow. And he didn't have the voice of an angel, but he did have the whistle of one. And both David Hasselhoff and Yondu went on kickass adventures, and hooked up with hot women, and fought robots. So, the thing is, David Hasselhoff kinda did end up being my Dad after all, only he was Yondu. I had a pretty cool Dad. Quill starts to break down. And what I'm trying to say here is, that thing you're searching for your whole life, sometimes it's right there by your side all along and you don't even know it.
Groot: I am Groot?
Rocket: Yeah. That's the friend I was talking about.
Groot: I am Groot.
Rocket: He did call you 'twig.'
Gamora: Nebula. I was just a child. Like you. I was concerned with staying alive until the next day - every day. And I never considered what Thanos was doing to you. I am sorry. I'm trying to make it right, everything I did.
Peter Quill: There are little girls like you were - little boys - all over the universe - who are in danger. You can stay with us, and help them.
Nebula: I'll help them by killing Thanos.
Gamora: I don't know if that's possible. You'll always be my sister.
Kraglin: Pete. Cap'n found this for you in a junker shop. Said someday you'd come back to the fold. It's called a Zune - what everyone listens to on earth nowadays. It's got three hundred songs.
Peter Quill: Wait. Rocket grabbed the pieces and reassembled them. I think Yondu would want you to have it.
Kraglin: Thank you... Cap'n.
Rocket: They came.
Drax: What is it?
Rocket: I sent word to Yondu's old Ravager buddies and told them what he did.
Peter Quill: It's a Ravager funeral.
Martinex: He didn't let us down after all, Cap'n.
Stakar: No, he did not, son. He did not.
Charlie-27: Fare thee well, old friend.
Aleta: See you in the stars, Yondu Udonta.
Rocket: He didn't chase 'em away.
Peter Quill: No.
Rocket: Even though he yelled at 'em. And was always mean. And he stole batteries he didn't need.
Peter Quill: Of course not. What?
Gamora: It's just some unspoken thing.
Mantis: It's beautiful.
Drax: It is. And so are you. On the inside.
Stakar: It's a shame it takes a tragedy like losing Yondu to bring us all back together. But I think he'd be proud if he knew we were working as a team again. What say we steal some shit?
Charlie-27: In.
Martinex: Dope.
Mainframe: I MISSED you guys!
Aleta: Hell. Yes.
Chambermaid: High Priestess, the Council is waiting.
Ayesha: They are perturbed I have wasted our resources. When they see what I have created here, their wrath will dissipate, though it will be some time.
Chambermaid: That is not just another birthing pod, ma'am?
Ayesha: That, my child, is the next step in our evolution: more powerful, more beautiful, and more capable of destroying the Guardians of the Galaxy. I think I shall call him... 'Adam'.
Peter Quill: Dude, seriously, you got to clean up your room. It's a complete mess.
Groot: I am Groot.
Peter Quill: I'm not boring, man. You're boring. Once I got stuck on a planet where everyone was just lines and dots. I had to use geometry to get out of prison. Is that boring? You know what's boring? Not doing the dishes. What's boring is me tripping over your vines everywhere. Drax and I switched pants in the middle of that party last weekend. For no reason other than we're awesome and very much not boring. Once I got a venereal disease that made me float for three days... Don't tell Gamora... it's dormant, but... If that's boring then, I guess I'm boring. I'm not boring. What's boring is when you roll your eyes like that at me and make an exasperated sound like I'm an old, boring, stupid idiot. Now I know how Yondu felt. Yondu.