Tony Stark: Been a while since I was up here in front of you. Maybe I'll do us all a favour and just stick to the cards. There's been some speculation that I was somehow involved in the events that occurred on the freeway and on the rooftop...
Christine Everhart: Sorry, Mr Stark, do you honestly expect us to believe that that was a bodyguard in a suit that convinently appeared despite the fact that you sorely despise bodyguards?
Tony Stark: Yes
Christine Everhart: And this mysterious bodyguard was somehow equipped with an undisclosed Stark high-tech powered battle...
Tony Stark: I know that it's confusing. It is one thing to question the official story and another thing entirely to make wild accusations, or insinuate that I'm a superhero. I mean, let's face it, I'm not the heroric type. A laundry list of character defects, all the mistakes I've made, largely public. The truth is... I am Iron Man.
Anton Vanko: Ivan. Vanya. That should be you.
Ivan Vanko: Don't listen to that crap
Anton Vanko: I'm sorry. All I can give you is my knowledge.
Man: 270 at 30 knots. Holding steady at 15000 feet. You are clear for exfiltration over the drop zone
Pretty Much Everyone In The Crowd: Tony! Tony! Tony! Tony!
Tony Stark: It's good to be back. You missed me?
Man In Crowd: Blow something up!
Tony Stark: I missed you too. Blow something up? I already did that. I'm not saying that the world is enjoying its longest period of uninterrupted peace in years because of me. I'm not saying that from the ashes of captivity, never has a greater phoenix metaphor been personified in human history. I'm not saying that Uncle Sam can kick back on a lawn chair, sipping on an iced tea because I haven't come across anyone who's man enough to go toe-to-toe with me on my best day.
Woman In Crowd: I love you Tony!
Tony Stark: Please, it's not about me. It's not about you. It's not even about us. It's about legacy. It's about what we choose to leave behind for future generations. And that's why for the next year and for the first time since 1974, the best and brightest men and women of nations and corporations the world over will pool their resources, share their collective vision, to leave behind a brighter future. It's not about us. Therefore, what I'm saying, if I'm saying anything, is welcome back to the Stark Expo. And now, making a special guest appearance from the great beyond to tell you what it's all about, please welcome my father, Howard.
Howard Stark: Everything is achievable through technology. Better living, robust health, and for the first time in human history, the possibility of world peace. So, from all of us here at Stark Industries, I would like to personally introduce you to the City of the Future. Technology holds infinite possibilities for mankind, and will one day rid society of all its ills. Soon technology will affect the way you live your life every day. No more tedious work, leaving more time for leisure activities and enjoying the sweet life. The Stark Expo. Welcome.
Reporter: We are coming to you live from the kickoff at the Stark Expo, where Tony Stark has just walked offstage. Don't worry if you can't make it down here tonight because this Expo goes on all year long. And I'm gonna be here checking out all the attractions and the pavilions and inventions from all around the world.
Happy Hogan: Make sure you join me...
Tony Stark: All right, it's a zoo out there, watch out.
Happy Hogan: Open up, let's go.
Tony Stark: Hey, nice to see you. All right. Thank you. I remember you.
People: Tony, Tony
Tony Stark: Hey, hey.
Woman: Call me.
Happy Hogan: Hey, hey, hey, hey. Come on, come on.
Tony Stark: Hello. It would be a pleasure.
Happy Hogan: Okay
Tony Stark: See you buddy
Happy Hogan: This is Larry.
Tony Stark: Hey, the oracle of Oracle. What a pleasure. Nice to see you.
Stan Lee: Call me. Call me.
Happy Hogan: Larry King.
Tony Stark: Larry! Larry. Yes, my people, my people.
Happy Hogan: Come on, Tony. There we go.
Tony Stark: Very mellow.
Happy Hogan: That wasn't so bad.
Tony Stark: No, it was perfect.
Happy Hogan: Look what we got here, the new model.
Tony Stark: Hey, does she come with the car?
Happy Hogan: I certainly hope so. Hi.
Tony Stark: Hi. And you are?
Woman: Marshal.
Tony Stark: Irish. I like it.
Marshal: Pleased to meet you Tony.
Tony Stark: I'm on the wheel. Do you mind? Where you from?
Marshal: Bedford.
Tony Stark: What are you doing here?
Marshal: Looking for you.
Tony Stark: Yeah? You found me. What are you up to later?
Marshal: Serving subpoenas.
Tony Stark: Yikes.
Happy Hogan: He doesn't like to be handed things.
Tony Stark: Yeah, I have a peeve.
Marshal: I got it. You are hereby ordered to appear before the Senate Armed Services Committee tomorrow morning at 9 am.
Tony Stark: Can I see a badge?
Marshal: You wanna see the badge?
Happy Hogan: He likes the badge.
Marshal: You still like it?
Tony Stark: Yep. How far are we from D.C.?
Happy Hogan: D.C.? 250 miles.
Senator Stern: Mr Stark, could we pick up now where we left off? Mr Stark. Please.
Tony Stark: Yes dear?
Senator Stern: Can I have your attention?
Tony Stark: Absolutely.
Senator Stern: Do you or do you not possess a specialised weapon?
Tony Stark: I do not.
Senator Stern: You do not?
Tony Stark: I do not. Well, it depends on how you define the word weapon.
Senator Stern: The Iron Man weapon.
Tony Stark: My device does not fit that description.
Senator Stern: Well... How would you describe it?
Tony Stark: I would describe it by defining it as what it is, Senator.
Senator Stern: As?
Tony Stark: It's a high-tech prosthesis. That is... That is... That's actually the most apt description I can make of it.
Senator Stern: It's a weapon. It's a weapon, Mr Stark.
Tony Stark: Please, if your priority was actually the well-being of the American citizen...
Senator Stern: My priority is to get the Iron Man weapon turned over to the people of the United States of America.
Tony Stark: Well, you can forget it. I am Iron Man. The suit and I are one. To turn over the Iron Man suit would be to turn over myself which is tantamount to indentured servitude or prostitution, depending or what state you're in. You can't have it.
Senator Stern: Look, I'm no expert...
Tony Stark: In prostitution? Of course not. You're a senator. Come on.
Senator Stern: I'm no expert in weapons. We have somebody here who is an expert on weapons. I'd now like to call Justin Hammer, our current primary weapons contractor.
Tony Stark: Let the record reflect that I observed Mr Hammer entering the chamber, and I am wondering if and when any actual expert will also be in attendance.
Justin Hammer: Absolutely. I'm no expert. I defer to you, Anthony. You're the wonder boy. Senator, if I may. I may well not be an expert, but you know who was the expert? Your dad. Howard Stark. Really a father to us all, and to the military-industrial age. Let's just be clear, he was no flower child. He was a lion. We all know why we're here. In the last six months, Anthony Stark has created a sword with untold possibilities. And yet, he insists it's a shield. He asks us to trust him as we cower behind it. I wish I were comforted, Anthony, I really do. I'd love to leave my door unlocked when I leave the house, but this ain't Canada. You know, we live in a world of grave threats, threats that Mr Stark will not always be able to foresee. Thank you. God bless Iron Man. God bless America.
Senator Stern: That is well said Mr Hammer. The committee would now like to invite Lieutenant Colonel James Rhodes to the chamber.
Tony Stark: Rhodey? What? Hey, buddy. I didn't expect to see you here.
James Rhodes: Look, it's me, I'm here. Deal with it. Let's move on.
Tony Stark: I just...
James Rhodes: Drop it.
Tony Stark: All right, I'll drop it.
Senator Stern: I have before me a complete report on the Iron Man weapon, complied by Colonel Rhodes. And, Colonel, for the record, can you please read page 57, paragraph four?
James Rhodes: You're requesting that I read specific selections from my report, Senator?
Senator Stern: Yes, sir.
James Rhodes: It was my understanding that I was going to be testifying in a much more comprehensive and detailed manner.
Senator Stern: I understand. A lot of things have changed today. So if you could just read...
James Rhodes: You do understand that reading a single paragraph out of context does not reflect the summery of my final...
Senator Stern: Just read it, Colonel. I do. Thank you.
James Rhodes: Very well. "As he does not operate within any definable branch of government, Iron Man presents a potential threat to the security of both the nation and to her interests." I did however, go on to summarise that the benefits of Iron Man far outweigh three liabilities and that it would be in our interest...
Senator Stern: That's enough Colonel
James Rhodes: ...to fold Mr Stark...
Senator Stern: That's enough
James Rhodes: ...into the existing chain of command, Senator.
Tony Stark: I'm not a joiner, but I'll consider Secretary of Defence, if you ask nice. We can amend the hours a little bit.
Senator Stern: I'd like to go on and show, if I may, the imagery that's connected to your report.
James Rhodes: I believe it is somewhat premature to reveal these images to the general public at this time.
Senator Stern: With all due respect, Colonel, I understand. And if you could just narrate those for us, we'd be very grateful. Let's have the images.
James Rhodes: Intelligence suggests that the devices seen in these photos are, in fact, attempts at making manned copies of Mr Stark's suit. This has been corroborated by our allies and local intelligence on the ground... ... indicating that these suits are quite possibly, at this moment, operational.
Tony Stark: Hold on a second buddy. Let me see something here. Boy, I'm good. I commandeered your screens. I need them. Time for a little transparency. Now, let's see what's really going on.
Senator Stern: What is he doing?
Tony Stark: If you will direct your attention to said screens, I believe that's North Korea.
Senator Stern: Can you turn that off? Take it off.
Tony Stark: Iran. No grave threat here. Is that Justin Hammer? How did Hammer get in the game? Justin, you're on TV. Focus up.
Justin Hammer: Okay, give me a left twist. Left's good. Turn to the right. Oh, shit. Oh, shit.
Tony Stark: Wow. Yeah, I'd say most countries, five, ten years away. Hammer Industries, twenty.
Justin Hammer: I'd like to point out that that test pilot survived.
Senator Stern: I think we're done is the point that he's making. I don't think there's any reason...
Tony Stark: The point is, you're welcome, I guess
Senator Stern: For what?
Tony Stark: Because I'm your nuclear deterrent. It's working. We're safe. America is secure. You want my property? You can't have it. But I did you a big favour. I've successfully privatised world peace. What more do you want? For now! I tried to play ball with these ass-clowns.
Senator Stern: you, Mr Stark. you, buddy. We're adjourned. We're adjourned for today.
Tony Stark: Okay.
Senator Stern: You've been a delight.
Tony Stark: My bond is with the people. And I will serve this great nation at the pleasure of myself. If there's one thing I've proven it's that you can count on me to pleasure myself. Wake up, Daddy's home.
Jarvis: Welcome home, sir. Congratulations on the opening ceremonies. They were such a success, as was your Senate hearing. And may I say how refreshing it is to finally see you in a video with your clothing on, sir.
Tony Stark: You! I swear to God I'll dismantle you. I'll soak your motherboard. I'll turn you into a wine rack. How many ounce a day of this gobbledegook am I supposed to drink?
Jarvis: We are up to 80 ounces a day to counteract the symptoms, sir.
Tony Stark: Check palladium levels.
Jarvis: Blood toxicity, 24%. It appears that the continued use of the Iron Man suit is accelerating your condition. Another core has been depleted.
Tony Stark: God, they're running out quick.
Jarvis: I have run simulations on every known element, and none can serve as a viable replacement for the palladium core. You are running out of both time and options. Unfortunately, the device that's keeping you alive is also killing you. Miss Potts is approaching. I recommend that you inform her...
Tony Stark: Mute.
Pepper Potts: Is this a joke? What are you thinking?
Tony Stark: What?
Pepper Potts: What are you thinking?
Tony Stark: Hey, I'm thinking I'm busy. And you're angry about something. Do you have the sniffles? I don't want to get sick.
Pepper Potts: Did you just donate...
Tony Stark: Keep your business.
Pepper Potts: ...our entire modern art collection to the...
Tony Stark: Boy Scouts of America.
Pepper Potts: ...Boy Scouts of America?
Tony Stark: Yes. It is a worthwhile organisation. I didn't physically check the crates but, basically, yes. And it's not "our" collection, it's my collection. No offence.
Pepper Potts: No, you know what? I think I'm actually entitled to say "our" collection considering the time that I put in, over 10 years, curating that.
Tony Stark: It was a tax write-off. I needed that.
Pepper Potts: You know, there's only about 8,011 things that I really need to talk to you about.
Tony Stark: Dummy. Hey, stop spacing out. The Bridgeport's already machining that part.
Pepper Potts: The Expo is a gigantic waste of time.
Tony Stark: I need you to wear a surgical mask until you're feeling better. Is that okay?
Pepper Potts: That's rude.
Tony Stark: There's nothing more important to me than the Expo. It's my primary point of concern. I don't know why you're...
Pepper Potts: The Expo is your ego gone crazy.
Tony Stark: Wow. Look at that. That's modern art. That's going up.
Pepper Potts: You've got to be kidding.
Tony Stark: I'm gonna put this up right now. This is vital.
Pepper Potts: Stark is in complete disarray. You understand that?
Tony Stark: No. Our stocks have never been higher.
Pepper Potts: Yes, from a managerial standpoint.
Tony Stark: You are... Well, if's messy then let's double back.
Pepper Potts: Let me give you an example.
Tony Stark: Let's move onto another subject.
Pepper Potts: No, no, no, no. You are not taking down the Barnett Newman and hanging that up.
Tony Stark: I'm not taking it down. I'm just replacing it with this. Let's see what I can get going on here.
Pepper Potts: Okay, fine. My point is, we have already awarded contracts to the wind farm people.
Tony Stark: Yeah. Don't say "wind farm." I'm already feeling gassy.
Pepper Potts: And to the plastic plantation tree, which was your idea by the way. Those people are on payroll...
Tony Stark: Everything was my idea.
Pepper Potts: ...and you won't make a decision.
Tony Stark: I don't care about the liberal agenda any more. It's boring. Boring. I'm giving you a boring alert. You do it.
Pepper Potts: I do what?
Tony Stark: Excellent idea. I just figured this out. You run the company.
Pepper Potts: Yeah, I'm trying to run the company.
Tony Stark: Pepper, I need you to run the company. Well, stop trying to do it and do it.
Pepper Potts: You will not give me the information...
Tony Stark: I'm not asking you to try...
Pepper Potts: ...in order to...
Tony Stark: I'm asking you to physically do it. I need you to do it.
Pepper Potts: I am trying to do it.
Tony Stark: Pepper, you're not listening to me!
Pepper Potts: No, you are not listening to me.
Tony Stark: I'm trying to make you CEO. Why won't you let me?
Pepper Potts: Have you been drinking?
Tony Stark: Chlorophyll. I hereby irrevocably appoint you chairman and CEO of Stark Industries effective immediately. Yeah, done deal. Okay? I've actually given this a fair amount of thought, believe it or not. Doing a bit of headhunting, so to speak, trying to figure out who a worthy successor would be. And then I realised it's you. It's always been you. . I thought there'd be a legal issue, but actually I'm capable of appointing my successor. My successor being you. Congratulations? Take it, just take it.
Pepper Potts: I don't know what to think.
Tony Stark: Don't think, drink. There you go.
Pepper Potts: The notary's here! Can you please come sign the transfer paperwork?
Tony Stark: I'm on happy time. Sorry.
Happy Hogan: What the hell was that?
Tony Stark: It's called mixed martial arts. It's been around for three weeks.
Happy Hogan: It's called dirty boxing, there's nothing new about it
Tony Stark: All right, put them up. Come on.
Pepper Potts: I promise this is the only time I will ask you to sign over your company.
Natasha Romanoff: I need you to initial each box.
Happy Hogan: Lesson one. Never take your eye off...
Tony Stark: That's it. I'm done. What's your name, lady?
Natasha Romanoff: Rushman. Natalie Rushman
Tony Stark: Front and centre. Come into the church.
Pepper Potts: No. You're seriously not gonna ask...
Tony Stark: If it pleases the court, which it does.
Natasha Romanoff: It's no problem.
Pepper Potts: I'm sorry. He's very eccentric.
Tony Stark: Can you give her a lesson?
Happy Hogan: No problem.
Tony Stark: Pepper.
Pepper Potts: What?
Tony Stark: Who is she?
Pepper Potts: She is from legal. And she is potentially a very expensive sexual harassment lawsuit if you keep ogling her like that.
Tony Stark: I need a new assistant, boss.
Pepper Potts: Yes, and I've got three excellent potential candidates. They're lined up and ready to meet you.
Tony Stark: I don't have time to meet. I need someone now. I feel like it's her.
Pepper Potts: No, it's not.
Happy Hogan: You ever boxed before?
Natasha Romanoff: I have, yes.
Happy Hogan: What, like, the Tae Bo? Booty Boot Camp? Crunch? Something like that?
Tony Stark: How do I spell your name, Natalie?
Natasha Romanoff: R-U-S-H-M-A-N.
Pepper Potts: What, are you gonna google her now?
Tony Stark: I thought I was ogling her. Wow. Very, very impressive individual.
Pepper Potts: You're so predictable, you know that?
Tony Stark: She's fluent in French, Italian, Russian, Latin. Who speaks Latin?
Pepper Potts: No one speaks Latin.
Tony Stark: No one speaks Latin
Pepper Potts: It's a dead language. You can read Latin or you can write Latin, but you can't speak Latin.
Tony Stark: Did you model in Tokyo? 'Cause she modelled in Tokyo.
Pepper Potts: Well...
Tony Stark: I need her. She's got everything that I need.
Happy Hogan: Rule number one, never take your eyes off your opponent.
Pepper Potts: Oh, my God! Happy.
Tony Stark: That's what I'm talking about.
Happy Hogan: I just slipped.
Tony Stark: You did?
Happy Hogan: Yeah.
Tony Stark: Looks like a TKO to me.
Natasha Romanoff: Just... I need your impression.
Tony Stark: You have a quiet reserve. I don't know, you have an old soul.
Natasha Romanoff: I meant your fingerprint.
Tony Stark: Right.
Pepper Potts: So, how are we doing?
Tony Stark: Great. Just wrapping up here. Hey. You're the boss.
Natasha Romanoff: Will that be all, Mr Stark?
Tony Stark: No.
Pepper Potts: Yes, that will be all, Ms Rushman. Thank you very much.
Tony Stark: I want one.
Pepper Potts: No.
Tony Stark: You know, it's Europe. Whatever happens the next 20 minutes, just go with it.
Pepper Potts: Go with it? Go with what?
Natasha Romanoff: Mr Stark?
Tony Stark: Hey.
Natasha Romanoff: Hello. How was your flight?
Tony Stark: It was excellent. Boy, it's nice to see you.
Natasha Romanoff: We have one photographer from the ACM, if you don't mind. Okay?
Pepper Potts: When did this happen?
Tony Stark: What? You made me do it.
Pepper Potts: I made you do what?
Tony Stark: You quit. Smile. Look, right there. Stop acting constipated. Don't flare your nostrils.
Pepper Potts: You are so predictable.
Tony Stark: That's the amazing thing.
Natasha Romanoff: Right this way.
Tony Stark: You look fantastic.
Natasha Romanoff: Why, thank you very much.
Tony Stark: But that's unprofessional. What's on the docket?
Natasha Romanoff: You have a 9:30 dinner.
Tony Stark: Perfect. I'll be there at 11:00.
Natasha Romanoff: Absolutely.
Tony Stark: Is this us?
Natasha Romanoff: It can be.
Tony Stark: Great. Make it us.
Natasha Romanoff: Okay.
Pepper Potts: Mr Musk. How are you?
Elon Musk: Hi, Pepper. Congratulations on the promotion.
Pepper Potts: Thank you very much.
Tony Stark: Elon, how's it going. Those Merlin engines are fantastic.
Elon Musk: Thank you. Yeah, I've got an idea for an electric jet.
Tony Stark: You do?
Elon Musk: Yeah.
Tony Stark: Then we'll make it work. You want a massage?
Pepper Potts: Oh, God. No. I don't want a massage.
Tony Stark: I'll have Natalie make an...
Pepper Potts: I don't want Natalie to do...
Tony Stark: Don't want you tense. By the way, I didn't mean to spring this on you.
Pepper Potts: Thank you very much.
Tony Stark: Green is not your best colour.
Pepper Potts: Oh, please.
Justin Hammer: Anthony. Is that you?
Tony Stark: My least favourite person on Earth.
Justin Hammer: Hey, pal.
Tony Stark: Justin Hammer.
Justin Hammer: How you doing? You're not the only rich guy here with a fancy car. You know Christine Everhart from Vanity Fair. You guys know each other?
Christine Everhart: Hi. Yes.
Pepper Potts: Yes.
Tony Stark: Yes, roughly.
Pepper Potts: We do.
Justin Hammer: BTW, big story. The new CEO of Stark Industries.
Christine Everhart: I know, I know.
Justin Hammer: Congratulations.
Christine Everhart: My editor will kill me if I don't grab a quote for our Powerful Women issue.
Pepper Potts: Oh.
Christine Everhart: Can I?
Pepper Potts: Sure.
Justin Hammer: She's actually doing a big spread on me for Vanity Fair. I thought I'd throw her a bone, you know. Right?
Pepper Potts: Right. Well, she did quite a spread on Tony last year.
Tony Stark: And she wrote a story as well.
Pepper Potts: It was very impressive.
Tony Stark: That was good.
Pepper Potts: It was very well done.
Christine Everhart: Thank you.
Pepper Potts: I'm gonna go wash.
Tony Stark: Don't leave me.
Justin Hammer: Hey, buddy. How you doing?
Tony Stark: I'm all right.
Justin Hammer: Looking gorgeous.
Tony Stark: Please, this is tough.
Christine Everhart: Can I ask you... Is this the first time...
Justin Hammer: Fromage Say "Brie".
Christine Everhart: ...that you guys have seen each other?
Tony Stark: God, that's so awful.
Christine Everhart: Listen, is it the first time you've seen each other since the Senate?
Tony Stark: Since he got his contract revoked...
Justin Hammer: Actually, it's on hold.
Tony Stark: ...when you were attempting to...That's not what I heard. What's the difference between "hold and "cancelled"? The truth?
Christine Everhart: Yes, what is it?
Justin Hammer: No. The truth is... Why don't we put that away? The truth is, I'm actually hoping to present something at your Expo.
Tony Stark: Well, if you invent something that works, I'll make sure I get you a slot.
Natasha Romanoff: Mr Stark?
Tony Stark: Yes?
Natasha Romanoff: Your corner table is ready.
Justin Hammer: I actually have a slot this year. Yes, I do.
Tony Stark: Hammer needs a slot, Christine.
Justin Hammer: We kid, yeah. We kid. We're kidders.
Tony Stark: Got any other bad ideas?
Justin Hammer: Tony and I... Tony... I love Tony Stark. Tony loves me. We're not competitors. Him being out of the picture created tremendous opportunities for Hammer Industries, you know? Everything that Tony and I do...
Tony Stark: Well, what's the use of having...
Justin Hammer: ...is a healthy...
Tony Stark: ...and owning a race car...
Justin Hammer: ...competition.
Tony Stark: ...if you don't drive it?
Justin Hammer: Is he driving?
Pepper Potts: Natalie. Natalie!
Natasha Romanoff: Yes, Ms Potts?
Pepper Potts: What do you know about this?
Natasha Romanoff: This is the first that I have known of it.
Pepper Potts: This, this cannot happen.
Natasha Romanoff: Absolutely. I understand. How can I help you?
Pepper Potts: Where's Happy?
Natasha Romanoff: He's waiting outside.
Pepper Potts: Okay, get him. I need Happy.
Natasha Romanoff: Right away.
Justin Hammer: Tony's... You know, he... We're not competitive. You know what I mean?
Christine Everhart: Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, can you excuse me just one second?
Justin Hammer: Just read me what you wrote.
Christine Everhart: I will. I will, after.
Justin Hammer: Just read it back to me.
Christine Everhart: But I have to make one quick phone call.
Justin Hammer: Where are you going?
Christine Everhart: This is great.
Justin Hammer: I've got some caviar coming.
Christine Everhart: This is great stuff. I'll be right back.
Someone In Background: Look! That's Stark.
Pepper Potts: Go, go.
Happy Hogan: Hang on.
Pepper Potts: Give me the case.
Happy Hogan: Here, take it.
Pepper Potts: Where's the key?
Happy Hogan: It's in my pocket.
Pepper Potts: Car!
Tony Stark: Are you okay?
Happy Hogan: Yeah.
Tony Stark: Were you heading from me or him?
Happy Hogan: I was trying to scare him.
Tony Stark: 'Cause I can't tell!
Pepper Potts: Are you out of your mind?
Tony Stark: Better security.
Pepper Potts: Get in the car right now!
Tony Stark: I was attacked. We need better security.
Happy Hogan: Get in the car.
Tony Stark: You're CEO. Better security measures. God, it's embarrassing. First vacation in two years.
Pepper Potts: Oh my God!
Happy Hogan: I got him!
Tony Stark: Hit him again. Hit him again. Football.
Happy Hogan: I got him.
Pepper Potts: Take the case! Take it!
Tony Stark: Give him the case!
Pepper Potts: Stop banging the car!
Tony Stark: Calm down.
Pepper Potts: God. God.
Tony Stark: Give me the case! Please! Come on!
Ivan Vanko: You... You lose. You lose Stark.
Police Officer: We ran his prints. We got nothing back, not even a name.
Tony Stark: Where are we going?
Police Officer: Over there. We're not even sure he speaks English. He hasn't said a word since he got here.
Tony Stark: Five minutes.
Police Officer: Five minutes.
Tony Stark: Pretty decent tech. Cycles per second were a little low. You could have doubled up your rotations. You focused the repulsor energy through ionised plasma channels. It's effective. Not very efficient. But it's a passable knock-off. I don't get it. A little fine tuning you could have made a solid pay check. You could have sold it to North Korea, China, Iran, or gone onto the black market. You look like you got friends in low places.
Ivan Vanko: You come from a family of thieves and butchers. And now, like all guilty men, you try to rewrite your own history. And you forget all the lives the Stark family has destroyed.
Tony Stark: Speaking of thieves, where did you get this design?
Ivan Vanko: My father. Anton Vanko.
Tony Stark: Well, I never heard of him.
Ivan Vanko: My father is the reason you're alive.
Tony Stark: The reason I'm alive is 'cause you had a shot, you took it, you missed.
Ivan Vanko: Did I? If you can make God bleed, the people will cease to believe in him. And there will be blood in the water. And the sharks will come. The truth, all I have to do is sit here and watch as the world will consume you.
Tony Stark: Where will you be watching the world consume me from? That's right. A prison cell. I'll send you a bar of soap.
Ivan Vanko: Hey, Tony. Before you go, palladium in the chest, painful way to die.
Senator Stern: It's just unbelievable. It proves that the genie is out of the bottle and this man has no idea what he's doing. He thinks of the Iron Man weapon as a toy. I was at a hearing where Mr Stark, in fact, was adamant that these suits can't exist anywhere else, don't exist anywhere else, never will exist anywhere else, at least for five to ten years, and here we are in Monaco realising, "These suits exist now."
Tony Stark: Mute. He should be giving me a medal. That's the truth.
Pepper Potts: What is that?
Tony Stark: This is your in-flight meal.
Pepper Potts: Did you just make that?
Tony Stark: Yeah. Where do you think I've been for three hours?
Pepper Potts: Tony, what are you not telling me?
Tony Stark: I don't want to go home. At all. Let's cancel my birthday party and... We're in Europe. Let's go to Venice, Cipriani. Remember?
Pepper Potts: Oh, yes.
Tony Stark: It's a great place to be healthy.
Pepper Potts: I don't think this is the right time. We're in kind of a mess.
Tony Stark: Yeah, but maybe that's why it's the best time. 'Cause then we can...
Pepper Potts: Well, I think as the CEO I need to show up.
Tony Stark: As CEO, you are entitled to a leave.
Pepper Potts: A leave?
Tony Stark: A company retreat.
Pepper Potts: A retreat? During a time like this?
Tony Stark: Just a ride. Well, I'm just saying, to recharge our batteries and figure it all out.
Pepper Potts: Not everybody runs on batteries Tony.
Justin Hammer: Hey. There he is. There he is. What an absolute pleasure. Welcome. Oh goodness gracious. Can we get the handcuffs off my friend here? Forgive me, I'm sorry. I'm such a huge fan of yours. I didn't want to make a first impression like this. He's not an animal. Come on. He's a human being. Thank you. We're fine. My name is Justin Hammer. I'd like to do some business with you. Please sit. Dig in. What do we have today Jack?
Jack: We have some salmon carpaccio.
Justin Hammer: Salmon carpaccio. Anything you want here, we got it. I like my dessert first. I had this flown in from San Francisco. It's Italian though. Organic ice cream. I got a sweet tooth. Apparently you do too, for Tony Stark. What I saw you do to Tony Stark on that track, how you stepped up to him in front of God and everybody that was... Wow. You spoke to me with what you did. And I know that you knew that I'd be listening. This is why I couldn't bear to have you shipped off to God knows where. It would have been such a waste of talent. But if I might make a suggestion, you know, you don't just go and try to kill the guy. I think, if I may, you go after his legacy. That's what you kill. You and me, we are a lot alike in a lot of ways. The only difference between you and I is that I have resources. I think, if I may, you need my resources. Someone behind you, a benefactor. I'd like to be that guy. Okay. Do you speak English? Because I can get a translator. I don't know. Have you been understanding everything I'm saying?
Ivan Vanko: Very good, man.
Justin Hammer: Very good, man.
Ivan Vanko: Very good, man.
Justin Hammer: Hey!
Ivan Vanko: Hey.
Justin Hammer: Yes?
Ivan Vanko: I want my bird.
Justin Hammer: A bird? You want a bird?
Ivan Vanko: I want my bird.
Justin Hammer: I can get you a bird. I can get you ten birds.
Ivan Vanko: I want my bird.
Justin Hammer: Well, okay. Nothing's impossible. I could... Are we talking about... Is this a bird back in Russia?
Pepper Potts: Yes, but the fundamentals of the company are still very, very strong despite the events in Monaco.
Natasha Romanoff: Yes, of course. The AP wants a quote.
Pepper Potts: Don't tell them. Fax them...
James Rhodes: Where is he?
Natasha Romanoff: He doesn't want to be disturbed.
Pepper Potts: He's downstairs.
News Reader: But what happened in Monaco?
Pepper Potts: Yes, but....
News Reader: But his continuing erratic behaviour may lead many people to ask themselves, "Can this man still protect us?"
Pepper Potts: Iron Man never stopped protecting us. The events in Monaco proved that.
Jarvis: Query complete sir. Anton Vanko was a Soviet physicist who defected to the United States in 1963.However, he was accused of espionage and was deported in 1967. His son, Ivan, who is also a physicist, was convicted of selling Soviet-era weapons grade plutonium to Pakistan, and served 15 years in Kopeisk prison. No further records exist.
James Rhodes: Tony, you gotta get upstairs and get on top of this situation right now. Listen. I've been on the phone with the National Guard all day, trying to talk them out of rolling tanks up the PCH, knocking down your front door and taking these. They're gonna take your suits, Tony, okay? They're sick of the games. You said nobody else would possess this technology for 20 years. Well, guess what? Somebody else had it yesterday. It's not theoretical anymore. Are you listening to me? Are you okay?
Tony Stark: Let's go.
James Rhodes: Hey, man. Hey, hey! You all right?
Tony Stark: Yeah, I should get to my desk. See that cigar box?
James Rhodes: Yeah.
Tony Stark: It's palladium.
James Rhodes: Is that supposed to be smoking?
Tony Stark: If you must know, it's neutron damage. It's from the reactor wall.
James Rhodes: You had this in your body? And how about the high-tech crossword puzzle on your neck?
Tony Stark: Road rash. Thank you. What are you looking at?
James Rhodes: I'm looking at you. You wanna do this whole lone gunslinger act and it's unnecessary. You don't have to do this alone.
Tony Stark: You know, I wish I could believe that. I really do. But you've gotta trust me. Contrary to popular belief, I know exactly what I'm doing.
Justin Hammer: This is where we do it. This is my humble abode. You can work in absolute peace. Must be fun to be dead, right? No pressure. Here they are. I'm very excited. They're combat-ready. I may have done a few miscalculations and rushed the prototype into production. Sue me, I'm enthusiastic. Go ahead, take a look around. You don't wanna do that. You'll be able to access that as soon as we generate some encrypted pass codes. Can we generate some encrypted pass codes? Get some of those encrypted pass codes, Jack. Never mind, I... Wow. Okay. Good stuff.
Ivan Vanko: unintelligible
Justin Hammer: Sorry?
Ivan Vanko: Software shit.
Justin Hammer: Well... You're good. You really blasted in past the firewall there. Let me show you where you're gonna be working primarily. Go ahead, take a look. Get a good look at that. That's something, isn't it? You know, those are really just for show and tell. They're $125.7 million a pop, so... Wait! Oh gosh. Jesus Christ. Get somebody up here. That's where the pilot goes. I'm having a tough time finding volunteers. I'll take care of that, just leave it.
Ivan Vanko: What you want them do?
Justin Hammer: Well, long term, I want them to put me in the Pentagon for the next 25 years. I want to make Iron Man look like an antique. I wanna go to that Stark Expo, I wanna take a dump in Tony Stark's front yard. You know what I'm talking about?
Ivan Vanko: I can do that. No problem.
Justin Hammer: Yeah? Hey, fabulous! I love it. Hey, this is our guy. Didn't I tell you? I had a feeling.
Natasha Romanoff: Do you know which watch you'd like to wear tonight, Mr Stark?
Tony Stark: I'll give them a look. I should cancel the party.
Natasha Romanoff: Probably.
Tony Stark: Yeah. 'Cause it's...
Natasha Romanoff: Ill-timed.
Tony Stark: Right, sends the wrong message.
Natasha Romanoff: Inappropriate. Is that dirty enough for you?
Tony Stark: Gold face, brown hand. The Jaeger. I'll give that a look. Bring them over. I'll take that. Why don't you... I gotta say it. It's hard to get a read on you. Where are you from?
Natasha Romanoff: Legal.
Tony Stark: Can I ask you a question, hypothetically? Bit odd. If this was your last birthday party you were ever gonna have, how would you celebrate it?
Natasha Romanoff: I'd do whatever I wanted to do with whoever I wanted to do it with.
Person: Good evening Good evening
James Rhodes: Yes, sir, I understand. No. No, sir, that will not be necessary. I'll handle it. Sir, I personally guarantee that within 24 hours, Iron Man will be back on watch. Hey Pepper.
Pepper Potts: I'm going to get some air.
James Rhodes: What's wrong?
Pepper Potts: I don't know what to do.
James Rhodes: You gotta be kidding me. That's it, I'm making....
Pepper Potts: No, no, no. Don't call anyone.
James Rhodes: Pepper. This is ridiculous. I just stuck my neck out for this guy.
Pepper Potts: I know. I know. I get it. I'm gonna handle it, okay Just let me handle it.
James Rhodes: Handle it. Or I'm gonna have to.
Tony Stark: You know, the question I get asked most often is, "Tony, how do you go to the bathroom in the suit?" Just like that.
Pepper Potts: Does this guy know how to throw a party or what?
Tony Stark: I love you.
Pepper Potts: Unbelievable! Thank you so much. Tony, we all thank you so much for such a wonderful night. And we're gonna say good night now, and thank you all for coming.
Tony Stark: No, no, no, we can't ... Wait, wait, wait. We didn't have the cake. We didn't blow out the candles.
Pepper Potts: You're out of control, okay? Trust me on this, okay?
Tony Stark: You're out of control gorgeous.
Pepper Potts: It's time to go to bed. It's time.
Tony Stark: Give me another smooch
Pepper Potts: You're not going to be happy about this.
Tony Stark: Come on, you know you want to.
Pepper Potts: You just peed in the suit.
Tony Stark: I know. It has a filtration system.
Pepper Potts: It's not sexy.
Tony Stark: You could drink that water.
Pepper Potts: Just send everybody home, okay? It's time to...
Tony Stark: If you say so.
Pepper Potts: Okay. I'll take this, you take that
Tony Stark: Pepper Potts. She's right. The party's over. Then again, the party was over for me, like, an hour and a half ago. The after-party starts in 15 minutes. And if anybody, Pepper, doesn't like it, there's the door. Yeah! Hit! Pull! I think she wants the Gallagher!
James Rhodes: I'm only gonna say this once. Get out. You don't deserve to wear one of these. Shut it down!
Tony Stark: Goldstein.
Goldstein: Yes, Mr Stark?
Tony Stark: Give me a phat beat to beat my buddy's ass to.
James Rhodes: I told you to shut it down.
Tony Stark: Now, put that thing back where you found it before someone gets hurt. Really? Sorry, pal, but Iron Man doesn't have a sidekick.
James Rhodes: Sidekick this. Had enough?
Pepper Potts: Natalie!
Natasha Romanoff: Miss Potts.
Pepper Potts: Don't you "Miss Potts" me! I'm on to you. You know what? Ever since you came here...
Happy Hogan: Pepper! Get out of here. Get out of here now.
Tony Stark: You want it? Take it!
James Rhodes: Put you hand down.
Tony Stark: You think you got what it takes to wear that suit?
James Rhodes: We don't have to do this, Tony.
Tony Stark: You wanna be the War Machine, take your shot.
James Rhodes: Put it down!
Tony Stark: You gonna take a shot?
James Rhodes: Put it down!
Tony Stark: No!
James Rhodes: Drop it Tony!
Tony Stark: Take it!
James Rhodes: Edwards Tower, this is Lieutenant Colonel James Rhodes, inbound from three miles east at 5,000 feet...
Major Allen: Colonel.
James Rhodes: Major.
Major Allen: Wow.
James Rhodes: Yeah. Let's take it inside.
Major Allen: Clear the area.
Nick Fury: Sir! I'm gonna have to ask you to exit the doughnut.
Tony Stark: I told you I don't wanna join your super-secret boy band.
Nick Fury: No, no, no. See, I remember, you do everything yourself. How's that working out for you?
Tony Stark: It's... It's... It's... I'm sorry. I don't wanna get off on the wrong foot. Do I look at the patch or the eye? Honestly I'm a bit hung over. I'm not sure if you're real of if I'm having...
Nick Fury: I am very real. I'm the realest person you're ever gonna meet.
Tony Stark: Just my luck. Where's the staff here?
Nick Fury: That's not looking so good.
Tony Stark: I've been worse.
Shield Agent: We've secured the perimeter but I don't think we should hold it for too much longer.
Tony Stark: You're fired.
Natasha Romanoff: That's not up to you.
Nick Fury: Tony, I want you to meet Agent Romanoff.
Tony Stark: Hi.
Natasha Romanoff: I'm a SHIELD shadow. Once we knew you were ill, I was tasked to you by Director Fury.
Tony Stark: I suggest you apologise.
Nick Fury: You've been very busy. You made your girl your CEO, you're giving away all your stuff. You let your friend fly away with your suit. Now, if I didn't know better...
Tony Stark: You don't know better. I didn't give it to him. He took it.
Nick Fury: Whoa, whoa, whoa. He took it? You're Iron Man and he just took it? The little brother walked in there, kicked your ass and took your suit? Is that possible?
Natasha Romanoff: Well, according to Mr Stark's database security guidelines, there are redundancies to prevent unauthorised usage.
Tony Stark: What do you want from me?
Nick Fury: What do we want from you? What do you want from me? You have become a problem, a problem I have to deal with. Contrary to your belief, you are not the centre of my universe. I have bigger problems than you in the southwest region to deal with. Hit him.
Tony Stark: Oh, God, are gonna steal my kidney and sell it? Could you please not do anything awful for five seconds? What did she just do to me?
Nick Fury: What did we just do for you? That's lithium dioxide. It's gonna take the edge off. We're trying to get you back to work.
Tony Stark: Give me a couple of boxes of that. I'll be right as rain.
Natasha Romanoff: It's not a cure, it just abates the symptoms.
Nick Fury: Doesn't look like it's gonna be an easy fix.
Tony Stark: Trust me, I know. I'm good at this stuff. I've been looking for a suitable replacement for palladium. I've tried every combination, every permutation of every known element.
Nick Fury: Well, I'm here to tell you, you haven't tried them all.
Justin Hammer: Hey, hey, het. Special delivery. Candygram. I brought you something. Oh yeah. We got you the bird, pal.
Ivan Vanko: This is not my bird.
Justin Hammer: What do you mean? That's the bird. This is the bird. Yeah, pulled a lot of strings to get this bird. This is a great bird.
Jack: It's a beautiful bird.
Justin Hammer: We got this bird all the way from Russia.
Ivan Vanko: Hey, man, this is not my bird.
Justin Hammer: Well, listen, even if it's not the bird, I mean, this is a gorgeous bird. I mean, you know, look, don't get so attached to things. Learn to let go. Wait a minute. Jack, what is that? Is that... That's not a helmet. What is that? Ivan... What's this? Jack. Is that a helmet? It doesn't look like a helmet to me. How... How are you supposed to get a head in there? Jack, could you put your head in there?
Jack: No.
Justin Hammer: Try to put your head in there. Go ahead. Try to put your head in there. See, Ivan? He can't put his head in there. That's... That's not a helmet. It's a head. I need to put a guy in there. I need to fit a person in that suit. You understand?
Ivan Vanko: Drone better.
Justin Hammer: What? Drone better? Why is drone better? Why is drone better?
Ivan Vanko: People make problem. Trust me. Drone better.
Justin Hammer: Ivan, you know, I like you. I got you the bird. You said, "No problem." That's what you said to me. You said, "No problem." Now I need suits. The government wants suits. Like Iron Man. You understand? That's what the people want. That's what's gonna make them happy.
Ivan Vanko: Hey, man. Don't get too attached to things. Learn to let go.
Justin Hammer: These drones better steal the show, Ivan. You understand? Better rock my world, Ivan.
General: Unbelievable. This ought to get the Senate off my ass. It's functional?
James Rhodes: Fully mission-capable.
General: Good. Get Hammer down here to weaponise it.
James Rhodes: Sir?
General: Justin Hammer's making a weapons presentation at the Expo. We'd like this to introduce it.
James Rhodes: Sir, I don't believe that the Expo...
General: Colonel, the world needs to see this fast. We've got to make this happen.
James Rhodes: Yes, General, but...
General: It's also an order.
James Rhodes: Yes sir.
General: Good work, Colonel. You've made your country proud.
James Rhodes: Thank you sir.
Nick Fury: That thing in your chest is based on unfinished technology.
Tony Stark: No, it was finished. It has never been particularly effective until I miniaturised it and put it in my...
Nick Fury: No. Howard said the arc reactor was the stepping stone to something greater. He was about to kick off an energy race that was gonna dwarf the arms race. He was on to something big, something so big that it was gonna make the nuclear reactor look like a triple-A battery.
Tony Stark: Just him, or Anton Vanko in on this too?
Nick Fury: Anton Vanko is the other side of that coin. Anton saw it as a way to get rich. When your father found out, he had him deported. When the Russians found out he couldn't deliver they shipped his ass off to Siberia and he spent the next 20 years in a vodka-fuelled rage. Not quite the environment you want to raise a kid in, the son you had the misfortune of crossing paths with in Monaco.
Tony Stark: You told me I hadn't tried everything. What do you mean I haven't tried everything? What haven't I tried?
Nick Fury: He said that you were the only person with the means and knowledge to finish what he started.
Tony Stark: He said that?
Nick Fury: Are you that guy? Are you? 'Cause if you are, then you can solve the riddle of your heart.
Tony Stark: I don't know where you get your information, but he wasn't my biggest fan.
Nick Fury: What do you remember about your dad?
Tony Stark: He was cold, he was calculating. He never told me he loved me. He never even told me he liked me, so it's a little tough for me to digest when you're telling me he said the whole future was riding on me and he's passing it down. I don't get that. You're talking about a guy who's happiest day was when he shipped me off to boarding school.
Nick Fury: That's not true.
Tony Stark: Well, then, clearly you knew my dad better than I did.
Nick Fury: As a matter of fact, I did. He was one of the founding members of SHIELD.
Tony Stark: What?
Nick Fury: I got a two o'clock
Tony Stark: Wait, wait, wait, wait. What's this?
Nick Fury: Okay, you're good, right?
Tony Stark: No, I'm not good.
Nick Fury: You got this? Right? Right?
Tony Stark: Got what? I don't even know what I'm supposed to get.
Nick Fury: Natasha will remain a floater at Stark with her cover intact. You remember Agent Coulson, right?
Tony Stark: Yeah.
Nick Fury: And Tony, remember, I got my eye on you.
Natasha Romanoff: We've disabled all communications. No contact with the outside world. Good luck.
Tony Stark: Please. First thing, I need a little bodywork. I'll put in a little time at the lab. If we could send one of your goon squad down to The Coffee Bean, Cross Creek, for a Starbucks run, or something like that, that'd be nice.
Phil Coulson: I'm not here for that. I've been authorised by Director Fury to use any means necessary to keep you on premises. If you attempt to leave or play any games, I will tase you and watch Supernanny while you drool into the carpet. Okay?
Tony Stark: I think I got it, yeah.
Phil Coulson: Enjoy your evening's entertainment.
Major Allen: Think this is the power source?
James Rhodes: Major, this is not a scientific exercise. Let's just focus on arming it, all right?
Major Allen: Yes, sir.
Justin Hammer: Oh, yes! Oh, yes, yes, yes. Is it my birthday? You got it. What did you do? What did you do? Is this what I think it is?
James Rhodes: Yes it is. Hammer, I want to know what you're gonna do for us.
Justin Hammer: What am I going to do for you? Well, the first thing I'm gonna do for you is I'm gonna upgrade your software. And then, second, I think I should...
James Rhodes: That's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about firepower.
Justin Hammer: Well, you're talking to the right guy. Claridge Hi-Tec, semi-automatic, 9mm pistol. Too downtown? I agree. M24 shotgun, pump action. Five-round magazine. You know what? You're not a hunter. What am I talking about? I'm getting rid of it. This is the FN-2000 from Belgium. They do make something better than waffles. It's beautiful, But I can tell this isn't disco enough for you, so I'm gonna put it right here. You're looking at a Milkor 40mm grenade launcher. Tear gas, smoke. Hippie control. You're tough. Let me tell you something. Size does matter. Don't let anyone tell you different. This is an M134 7.62 Minigun. Six invidual barrels. The torso taker, powder maker. Our boys in uniform call in Uncle Gazpacho or Puff the Magic Dragon. Okay. These are the Cubans, baby. This is the Cohibas, the Montecristos. This is a kinetic-kill, side-winder vehicle with a secondary cyclotrimethlyenetrinitamine RDX burst. It's capable of busting the bunker under the bunker you just busted. If it were any smarter, it would write a book. A book that would make Ulysses look like it was written in crayon. It would read it to you. This is my Eiffel Tower. This is my Rachmaninoff's Third. My Pieta. It's completely elegant. It's bafflingly beautiful. And it's capable of reducing the population of any standing structure to zero. I call it the Ex-Wife. That's the best I got. Are we gonna do this? Give me something here. You're like a sphinx. I can't read you.
James Rhodes: I think I'll take it.
Justin Hammer: Which one?
James Rhodes: All of it.
Justin Hammer: All of it.
Howard Stark: Everything is achievable through technology. Better living, robust heath, and for the first time in human history, the possibility of world peace. I'm Howard Stark, and everything you'll need for the future can be found right here. City of the Future? City of Tomorrow? City of... I'm Howard Stark and everything you'll need in the future can be found right here. So, from all of us at Stark Industries, I would like to personally... Tony, what are you doing back there? What is that? Put that back. Put it back where you got it from. Where's your mother? Maria? Go on. Go, go, go, go.
Man: All right, I think we got...
Howard Stark: I'll... I'll... I'll come in and...
Man: Are you waiting on me?
Howard Stark: So, from all of us at Stark Industries, I'd like to personally show you my ass. I'd like to... I can't... This is... I can't... We have this, don't we? This is a ridiculous way... Everything is achievable through technology. Tony. You're too young to understand this right now, so I thought I would put it on film for you. I built this for you. And someday you'll realise that it represents a whole lot more than just people's inventions. It represents my life's work. This is the key to the future. I'm limited by the technology of my time, but one day you'll figure this out. And when you do, you will change the world. What is and always will be my greatest creation is you.
Tony Stark: How much?
Strawberry Man: $6. Six.
Tony Stark: I don't have any dough. Here.
Strawberry Man: No, sir, that's too much.
Tony Stark: No, it's fine. Take that. It's fine
Strawberry Man: No, señor.
Tony Stark: Take it. Take it. I don't like people handing me things. If you just drop that there, that'd be great.
Strawberry Man: Are you Iron Man?
Tony Stark: Sometimes.
Strawberry Man: We believe in you!
Pepper Potts: It was an illegal seizure of trademark property.
Pa: Miss Potts?
Tony Stark: Relax.
Pa: Mr Stark...
Tony Stark: Is here.
Pa: He refuses...
Tony Stark: I don't. It's fine. I'll just be a second.
Pepper Potts: Listen, it's our position that Stark has and continues to maintain propriety ownership of the Mark II platform.
News Reporter: When Mr Stark announced he was indeed Iron Man, he was making a promise to America.
Pepper Potts: No, the suit belongs to us.
News Reporter: We trusted that he would look out for us.
Pepper Potts: Yeah, but you're not...
News Reporter: He obviously did not.
Pepper Potts: Burt...
News Reporter: And now we learn that his secretary...
Pepper Potts: Yes, it does.
News Reporter: ...a woman named Virginia "Pepper" Potts, has been appointed as CEO of Stark Industries. What are her qualifications?
Pepper Potts: No.
News Reporter: Miss Potts has done nothing to manage this terrible...
Tony Stark: Mute.
Pepper Potts: No... Burt... Burt... Burt, listen to me. Don't tell me that we have the best patent lawyers in the country and then not let me pursue this.
Tony Stark: I'll get this stuff out of here.
Pepper Potts: Well, then, tell the President to sign an order. We'll talk about it at the Expo. Hammer's giving some presentation tomorrow evening. Will Tony Stark be there?
Tony Stark: Will I?
Pepper Potts: No, he will not. Bye.
Tony Stark: I would like to be. Got a minute?
Pepper Potts: No.
Tony Stark: Come on, you just got off the phone. You're fine. 30 seconds.
Pepper Potts: Twenty-nine Twenty-eight.
Tony Stark: I was just driving over here, and I thought I was coming to basically apologise, but I'm not.
Pepper Potts: You didn't come here to apologise?
Tony Stark: Look, that goes without saying, and I'm working on that. But I haven't been entirely upfront with you, and I just want to try to make good. Can I move this? This is crazy. It's like a Ferris wheel, going. I'm trying to get some...
Pepper Potts: No.
Tony Stark: Do you know how short life is? And if I never got to express... And by the way, this is somewhat revelatory to me. And I don't care... I mean, I care. It would be nice. I'm not expecting you to... Look, here's what I'm trying to say. I'm just gonna say it.
Pepper Potts: Let me stop you right here, okay? Because if you say "I" one more time, I'm gonna actually hurl something at your head, I think. I am trying to run a company. Do you have any idea what that entails?
Tony Stark: Yes.
Pepper Potts: People are relying on you to be Iron Man and you've disappeared, and all I'm doing is putting out your fires and taking the heat of it. I am trying to do the job that you were meant to do. Did you bring me strawberries? Did you know that there's only one thing on Earth that I'm allergic to?
Tony Stark: Allergic to strawberries. This is progress Pepper. I knew there was a correlation between you and this.
Pepper Potts: I need you...
Tony Stark: I need you too.
Pepper Potts: ...to leave now
Tony Stark: That's what I'm trying to...
Natasha Romanoff: Ms Potts?
Pepper Potts: Hi, come on in.
Natasha Romanoff: Wheels up in 25 minutes.
Pepper Potts: Thank you.
Happy Hogan: Anything else, boss?
Tony Stark: I'm good, Hap.
Pepper Potts: No, I'll be just another minute.
Tony Stark: I lost both the kids in the divorce. Are you blending in well here, Natalie? Here are Stark Enterprises? Your name is Natalie, isn't it? I thought you two didn't get along?
Pepper Potts: No. That's not so.
Tony Stark: It's just me you don't care for. No? Nothing?
Pepper Potts: Actually, while you're here maybe you and Natalie could discuss the matter of the personal belongings.
Natasha Romanoff: Absolutely. I'm surprised you can keep your mouth shut.
Tony Stark: Boy, you're good. You are mind-blowingly duplicitous. How do you do it? You just tear things... You're a triple imposter. I've never seen anything like you. Is there anything real about you? Do you even speak Latin? Which means? Wait. What? What did you just say?
Natasha Romanoff: It means you can either drive yourself home or I can have you collected.
Tony Stark: You're good. Jarvis, could you kindly Vac-U-Form a digital wire frame? I need a manipulatable projection.
Jarvis: 1974 Stark Expo model scan complete, sir.
Tony Stark: How many buildings are there?
Jarvis: Am I to include the Belgium waffle stands?
Tony Stark: That was rhetorical. Just show me. What does that look like to you Jarvis? Not unlike an atom. In which case the nucleus would be here. Highlight the unisphere. Lose the footpaths. Get rid of them.
Jarvis: What is it you're trying to achieve, sir?
Tony Stark: I'm discovering... Correction. I'm rediscovering a new element, I believe. Lose the landscaping, the shrubbery, the trees. Parking lots, exits, entrances. Structure the protons and the neutrons using the pavilions as a framework. Dad. Dead for almost 20 years, and still taking me to school.
Jarvis: The proposed element should serve as a viable replacement for palladium.
Tony Stark: Thank Dad.
Jarvis: Unfortunately, it is impossible to synthesise.
Tony Stark: Get ready for a major remodel, fellas. We're back in hardware mode.
Phil Coulson: I heard you broke the perimeter.
Tony Stark: Yeah. That was, like, three years ago. Where have you been?
Phil Coulson: I was doing some stuff.
Tony Stark: Yeah, well, me too and it worked. Hey, I'm playing for the home team Coulson, you and all your Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers. Now, are you gonna let me work or break my balls?
Phil Coulson: What's this doing here?
Tony Stark: That's it. Bring that to me.
Phil Coulson: You know what this is?
Tony Stark: It's exactly what I need to make this work. Lift the coil. Go, go. Put your knees into it. There you go. And... Drop it. Drop it. Perfectly level. I'm busy. What do you want?
Phil Coulson: Nothing. Goodbye. I've been reassigned. Director Fury wants me in New Mexico.
Tony Stark: Fantastic. Land of Enchantment.
Phil Coulson: So I'm told.
Tony Stark: Secret stuff?
Phil Coulson: Something like that. Good luck.
Tony Stark: Bye. Thanks.
Phil Coulson: We need you.
Tony Stark: Yeah, more than you know.
Phil Coulson: Not that much.
Jarvis: Initialising prismatic accelerator. Approaching maximum power.
Tony Stark: That was easy.
Jarvis: Congratulations sir. You have created a new element. Sir, the reactor has accepted the modified core. I will begin running diagnostics.
Justin Hammer: Hey Ivan. I got Senator Stern here. Thought we'd swing over and look at some of the drone designs.
Ivan Vanko: The drone is not going to be ready.
Justin Hammer: Not ready? What do you mean?
Ivan Vanko: I can make presentation, not demonstration.
Justin Hammer: What the hell is the difference?
Ivan Vanko: Presentation. No fly. No shoot.
Justin Hammer: Wait, wait, wait. Wait, wait, wait. What can you make them do? I mean, this is a weapons demonstration.
Ivan Vanko: I can make salute.
Justin Hammer: You can make salute? What do you mean "make salute"? What the hell does that mean Ivan? This is not what we agreed to, okay? You promised me suits and then you promised me drones.
Ivan Vanko: Hey, man, everything will be okay.
Justin Hammer: This is not what I wanted. Hey, there he is. It's the bird man. Now you like the bird. Is that right? Is that your bird? I'm confused. You said it wasn't, but now it looks like you're the best of pals. You love that bird, don't you? You know what? Take the bird.
Ivan Vanko: Hey!
Justin Hammer: Take his pillows too. Both of them. And his shoes. Take his shoes. I took your stuff. How does that make you feel? Do you feel bad? Good. 'Cause that's how I feel! We had a contract. I saved your life and you give me suits. That was our deal. And you did not deliver. I don't know if you're a genius or a fraud. I don't know what you are. Something really, really great fell into my lap. And if it hadn't, I'd be at your mercy tonight. Now I have a piece of Stark tech that I pimped out myself. And now your overpriced paperweights and gonna look like a backdrop to my demonstration. Do you dig what I'm getting at here?
Ivan Vanko: unintelligible
Justin Hammer: I don't know if you know this, but I don't speak Russian! I'm gonna leave now. I'm gonna go to the Expo. Maybe I'll even get laid. You see these guys? They're your babysitters. They are not to be trifled with. When I get back, we're gonna renegotiate the terms of our agreement. And you're gonna make good on our arrangement because if you don't, you're gonna be exactly what you were when I found you, a dead man. You got that? Maybe you can watch me on TV.
Tony Stark: Dummy, You, can we clean up this mess? You're killing me. You know I don't...
Jarvis: Incoming call with a blocked number sir.
Tony Stark: My phone privilege is reinstated. Lovely. Coulson. How's the Land of Enchantment?
Ivan Vanko: Hey, Tony, how you doing? I double cycle.
Tony Stark: You what?
Ivan Vanko: You told me double cycle's more power. Good advice.
Tony Stark: You sound pretty sprightly for a dead guy.
Ivan Vanko: You too.
Tony Stark: Trace him.
Jarvis: Sir.
Ivan Vanko: Now, the true history of Stark name will be written.
Tony Stark: Jarvis, where is he?
Jarvis: Accessing the Oracle grid. Eastern Seaboard.
Ivan Vanko: What your father did to my family over 40 years, I will do to you in 40 minutes.
Tony Stark: Sounds good. Let's get together and hash it out.
Jarvis: Tri-State area. Manhattan and outlying boroughs.
Ivan Vanko: I hope you're ready.
Jarvis: Call trace incomplete. Sir
Tony Stark: You want to run some tests, run them. And assemble the suit while you're at it. Put it together now.
Jarvis: We are unclear as to the effects.
Tony Stark: I don't want to hear it Jarvis. That tastes like coconut. And metal. Oh wow, yeah!
Happy Hogan: I'll keep the car down here, all right?
Pepper Potts: Thank you Happy.
Announcer: ...Justin Hammer. His presentation will begin shortly in the main pavilion.
Justin Hammer: Yeah. That's what I'm talking about. Thanks for coming. Ladies and gentlemen, for far too long, this country has had to place its brave men and women in harm's way, but then the Iron Man arrived, and we thought the days of losing lives were behind us. Sadly, that technology was kept out of reach. That's not fair. That's not right. And it's just too bad.
Pepper Potts: Oh, Lord.
Justin Hammer: Regardless, it was an impressive innovation, one that grabbed the headlines the world over. Well, today, my friends, the press is faced with quite a difficult problem. They are about to run out of ink. Get that out of here. Ladies and gentlemen, today I present to you the new face of the United States military. The Hammer drone. Army! Navy! Air Force! Marines! Yeah! Yeah! Woo! That's a hell of a lot better than some cheerleaders, let me tell you. But as revolutionary as this technology is, there will always be a need for man to be present in the theatre of war Ladies and gentlemen, today I am proud to present to you the very first prototype in the Variable Threat Response Battle Suit and its pilot, Air Force Lieutenant Colonel James Rhodes.
Pepper Potts: What?
Justin Hammer: For America and its allies, Hammer Industries is reporting for...
Tony Stark: We got trouble.
James Rhodes: Tony, there are civilians present. I'm here on orders. Let's not do this right now.
Tony Stark: Give them a wave.
Justin Hammer: Hey, all right. Yeah.
Tony Stark: All these people are in danger. We gotta get them out of here. You gotta trust me for the next five minutes.
James Rhodes: Yeah, I tried that. I got tossed around your house, remember?
Tony Stark: Listen, I think he's working with Vanko.
James Rhodes: Vanko's alive?
Justin Hammer: Yeah.
Tony Stark: What is he?
Justin Hammer: What?
Tony Stark: Where's Vanko?
Justin Hammer: Who?
Tony Stark: Tell me.
Justin Hammer: What are you doing here man?
James Rhodes: Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Tony Stark: Is that you?
James Rhodes: No, I'm not doing that. That's not me. I can't move. I'm locked up. I'm locked up! Get out of here. Go! This whole system's been compromised.
Tony Stark: Let's take it outside.
James Rhodes: No, no!
Tony Stark: Jarvis, break in. I need to own him.
Jarvis: Yes sir.
James Rhodes: Tony, Tony, I'm locked on. I have target lock.
Tony Stark: On what?
James Rhodes: On you. Tony, on your six!
Justin Hammer: What's going on? What's happening?
Technician: The software's been overridden.
Justin Hammer: What? What do you mean it's been overridden? What does that mean?
Technician: I think he slaved the drones.
Justin Hammer: That's impossible. Call the guards.
Jack: All the phones are down sir.
Justin Hammer: Well, then call their... Call their cells.
Jack: Their cell phones are not working either sir.
Technician: He's locked us out of the mainframe.
Pepper Potts: Who's locked you out of the mainframe?
Justin Hammer: Please, please, go away. Go away. I've got this handled.
Pepper Potts: Have you now?
Justin Hammer: Yes, I do. In fact, if your guy hadn't showed up, this wouldn't be happening. So, please, now go away. Thank you Listen, we got to get these bitches out of here. What?
Natasha Romanoff: You tell me who's behind this. Who's behind this?
Justin Hammer: Ivan. Ivan Vanko.
Natasha Romanoff: Where is he?
Justin Hammer: At my facility.
Pepper Potts: I need NYPD, please.
Justin Hammer: No, no, no!
Pepper Potts: Command Central.
Justin Hammer: No, no, honey. Don't call the authorities.
Pepper Potts: Okay. Right away. Right away. Step aside. Step aside. Tell me everything you know. Go.
Tony Stark: How are we doing Jarvis?
Jarvis: Remote reboot unsuccessful.
Security Guard: This way.
Happy Hogan: Nobody's answering the phone. What's going on?
Natasha Romanoff: Get in the car. Take me to Hammer Industries.
Happy Hogan: I'm not taking you anywhere.
Natasha Romanoff: Fine. You want me to drive?
Happy Hogan: No, I'm driving. Get in the car.
Tony Stark: Nice work kid.
James Rhodes: You got multiples coming in on you.
Tony Stark: Let's get this away from the Expo.
Natasha Romanoff: Wen we arrive, I need you to watch the perimeter. I'm gonna enter the facility and take down the target. Watch the road.
Happy Hogan: I got it. I got it.
James Rhodes: Listen, listen. A pack just peeled off. They're headed back to the Expo.
Tony Stark: Got it.
James Rhodes: In closing in on you. Ordnance coming in hot Tony. Watch it.
Natasha Romanoff: Stay in the car.
Happy Hogan: I'm not staying in the car.
Natasha Romanoff: I said, stay in the car.
Happy Hogan: What are you wearing? Look, I'm not letting you go in there alone.
Natasha Romanoff: You want to help? Keep the car running.
Happy Hogan: Okay.
Hammer Security Guard: Hey, hey, hey. You can't come in here.
Second Guard: Hold on. Hey!
Technician: Each set of drone is communicating in its own unique language.
Pepper Potts: Well, choose one and focus on that.
Justin Hammer: Have you tried Russian? Why don't you try Russian?
Announcement: Attention. We have intrusion on Grid W.
Security Guard: We got it. We're on our way.
Happy Hogan: I got him!
Tony Stark: Rhodey, you still locked on?
James Rhodes: Yeah.
Tony Stark: Drop your socks and grab your Crocs. We're about to get wet on this ride.
James Rhodes: Wait, wait, wait!
Natasha Romanoff: He's gone.
Tony Stark: I'm sorry buddy. Had to thin out the herd. What's your 20?
Happy Hogan: What are you doing?
Natasha Romanoff: I'm rebooting Rhodey's suit.
James Rhodes: Tony.
Natasha Romanoff: Reboot complete You got your best friend back.
Tony Stark: Thank you very much, Agent Romanoff.
Natasha Romanoff: Well done on the new chest piece. I am reading significant higher output and your vitals all look promising.
Tony Stark: Yes, for the moment, I'm not dying. Thank you.
Pepper Potts: What do you mean you're not dying? Did you just say you're dying?
Tony Stark: Is that you? No, I'm not. Not anymore.
Pepper Potts: What's going on?
Tony Stark: I was going to tell you. I didn't want to alarm you.
Pepper Potts: You were gonna tell me? You really were dying?
Tony Stark: You didn't let me.
Pepper Potts: Why didn't you tell me that?
Tony Stark: I was gonna make you an omelette and tell you.
Natasha Romanoff: Hey, hey. Save it for the honeymoon. You got incoming Tony. Looks like the fight's coming to you.
Tony Stark: Great. Pepper?
Pepper Potts: Are you okay now?
Tony Stark: I am fine. Don't be mad. I will formally apologise...
Pepper Potts: I am mad!
Tony Stark: ...when I'm not fending off a Hammeroid attack.
Pepper Potts: Fine.
Tony Stark: We could have been in Venice.
Pepper Potts: Oh please.
Tony Stark: Rhodes? Snap out of it buddy. I need you. They're coming. Come on, let's roll. Get up.
James Rhodes: Oh, man. You can have your suit back.
Tony Stark: You okay?
James Rhodes: Yeah, thanks. Tony, look, I'm sorry, okay?
Tony Stark: Don't be.
James Rhodes: No. I should have trusted you more.
Tony Stark: I'm the one who put you in this position. Forget it.
James Rhodes: No. It's your fault. I just wanted to say I'm sorry.
Tony Stark: Thank you. That's all I wanted to hear. Partner. They're coming in hot, any second. What's the play?
James Rhodes: Well, we want to take the high ground, okay? So let's put the biggest gun up on that ridge.
Tony Stark: Got you. Where do you want to be?
James Rhodes: Where are you going?
Tony Stark: What're you talking about?
James Rhodes: I meant me.
Tony Stark: You have a big gun. You are not the big gun.
James Rhodes: Tony, don't be jealous.
Tony Stark: No. It's subtle all the bells and whistles.
James Rhodes: Yeah. It's called being a badass.
Tony Stark: Fine. All right. You go up to. I'll draw them in.
James Rhodes: Don't stay down here. This is the worst place to be.
Tony Stark: Okay, you got a spot. Where's mine?
James Rhodes: It's the kill box, Tony. Okay This is where you go to die.
Tony Stark: See that?
James Rhodes: Yeah, yeah. Nice.
Tony Stark: Rhodey? Get down.
James Rhodes: Wow. I think you should lead with that next time.
Tony Stark: Yeah. Sorry boss. I can only use it one. It's a one-off.
Justin Hammer: I told you that five minutes ago.
Pepper Potts: That's your guy here.
Justin Hammer: Excuse me?
Police Officer: You're being placed under arrest.
Justin Hammer: Are you kidding me?
Police Officer: Hands behind your back sir.
Justin Hammer: I'm trying to help here. I get it. I see what you're doing. You're trying to pin this on me, huh? That's good. That's good. You're starting to think like a CEO, taking out the competition. I like that. You think you're making a problem for me? I'm gonna make a problem for you. I'm gonna be seeing you again real soon.
Pepper Potts: When they get here, I think you should station them at the south, east and both west exits.
Police Officer: We shut down the 7 train in and out of Willets Point already.
Pepper Potts: Well, have city buses there to ferry people to operating lines.
Police Officer: Yeah. Are you coming with us?
Pepper Potts: No, I'm gonna stay until to park is clear.
Police Officer: Okay.
Natasha Romanoff: Head up. You got one more drone incoming. This one looks different. The repulsor signature is significantly higher.
Ivan Vanko: Good to be back.
James Rhodes: This ain't gonna be good. I got something special for this guy. I'm gonna bust his bunker with the Ex-Wife.
Tony Stark: With the what? Hammer tech?
James Rhodes: Yeah.
Tony Stark: I got this. Rhodes. I got an idea. You want to be a hero?
James Rhodes: What?
Tony Stark: I could really use a sidekick. Put your hand up.
James Rhodes: This is your idea?
Tony Stark: Yep.
James Rhodes: I'm ready. I'm ready. Go, go, go!
Tony Stark: Take it!
Ivan Vanko: You lose.
James Rhodes: All these drones are rigged to blow. We gotta get out of here man.
Tony Stark: Pepper?
Pepper Potts: Oh my God. I can't take this anymore.
Tony Stark: You can't?
Pepper Potts: I can't take this.
Tony Stark: Look at me.
Pepper Potts: My body, literally, cannot handle the stress. I never know if you're gonna kill yourself or wreak the whole company.
Tony Stark: I think I did okay.
Pepper Potts: I quit. I'm resigning. That's it.
Tony Stark: What did you just say? You're done? That's surprising. No, it's not surprising. I get it. You don't have to make excuses.
Pepper Potts: I'm... I'm... I'm not making any excuses.
Tony Stark: You actually were just making excuses. But you don't have to.
Pepper Potts: No, I wasn't making an excuse. I'm actually very justified.
Tony Stark: Listen. Hey, hey. You deserve better.
Pepper Potts: Well...
Tony Stark: You've taken such good care of me. I've been in a tough spot, but you got me through it, so... Right?
Pepper Potts: Thank you.
Tony Stark: Yeah.
Pepper Potts: Thank you for understanding.
Tony Stark: Yeah, yeah. Let's talk clean-up.
Pepper Potts: I'll handle the transition. It'll be smooth.
Tony Stark: Okay. What about the press? Because you only had the job for a week. That's gonna seem...
Pepper Potts: Well, with you it's like dog years.
Tony Stark: I know.
Pepper Potts: I mean, it's like the Presidency.
Tony Stark: Weird.
Pepper Potts: No, it's not weird.
Tony Stark: It's okay, right?
Pepper Potts: Yeah.
Tony Stark: Run that by me again.
James Rhodes: I think it was weird. You guys look like two seals fighting over a grape.
Pepper Potts: I had just quit, actually.
Tony Stark: Yeah, so we're not...
James Rhodes: You don't have to do that. I heard the whole thing.
Tony Stark: You should get lost.
James Rhodes: I was here first. Get a roof.
Tony Stark: I thought you were out of one-liners.
James Rhodes: That's the last one.
Tony Stark: You kicked ass back there, by the way.
James Rhodes: Thank you. You too. Listen, my car got taken out in the explosion, so I'm gonna have to hang on to your suit for a minute, okay?
Tony Stark: Not okay. Not okay with that.
James Rhodes: It wasn't a question.
Tony Stark: How are you gonna resign if I don't accept?
Nick Fury: I don't think I want you looking at that. I'm not sure it pertains to you anymore. Now this on the other hand, is Agent Romanoff's assessment of you. Read it.
Tony Stark: "Personality overview. Mr Stark displays compulsive behaviour." In my own defence, that was last week. "Prone to self-destructive tendencies." I was dying. I mean, please. Aren't we all? "Textbook narcissism"? Agreed. Okay, here it is. "Recruitment assessment for Avenger Initiative. Iron Man? Yes." I gotta think about it.
Nick Fury: Read on.
Tony Stark: "Tony Stark not... Not recommended"? That doesn't make any sense. How can you approve me but not approve me? I got a new ticker. I'm trying to do right by Pepper. I'm in a stable-ish relationship.
Nick Fury: Which leads us to believe at this juncture we'd only like to use you as a consultant.
Tony Stark: You can't afford me. Then again, I will waive my customary retainer in exchange for a small favour. Rhodey and I are being honoured in Washington and we need a presenter.
Nick Fury: I'll see what I can do.
Senator Stern: It is my honour to be here today to present these distinguished awards to Lieutenant Colonel James Rhodes and Mr Tony Stark, who is, of course, a national treasure. Thank you Lieutenant Colonel, for such and exceptionally distinguished performance. You deserve this.
James Rhodes: Thank you sir.
Senator Stern: Mr Stark. Thank you for such as exceptionally distinguished performance. You deserve this. Oh, sorry. Funny how annoying a little prick can be, isn't it? Let's get a photo.
Phil Coulson: Sir, we've found it.