Phoebe Buffay: That's like the tenth time I've peed since I've been here!
Monica Geller: That's also like the tenth time you told us.
Phoebe Buffay: Yeah, oh I'm sorry, it must be really hard to hear! I tell ya, it's a lot easier having three babies play Bringing in the Noise, Bringing in da Funk on your bladder! I'm so sick of being pregnant! The only happiness I get is from a cup of coffee, which of course is decaf, 'cause-Oh! I'm pregnant!
Ross Geller: Pheebs, did...you want a cookie?
Phoebe Buffay: Thank you so much.
Rachel Green: So uh, Pheebs, honey, how are those mood swings coming?
Phoebe Buffay: I haven't really had any yet.
Ross Geller: Hey guys!
Chandler Bing: Hey.
Joey Tribbiani: Hey!
Ross Geller: All right, here's the ring.
Chandler Bing: Yes! Yes! A thousand times, yes!
Ross Geller: So uh, any ideas for the bachelor party yet?
Joey Tribbiani: Whoa-whoa-whoa! Before you start handing out wedding rings and planning bachelor parties, don't you have to decide who your best man is gonna be?
Chandler Bing: Oh, it's awkward. It's awkward. It's awkward.
Ross Geller: I sort've already asked Chandler.
Joey Tribbiani: What?! He got to do it at your first wedding!
Ross Geller: Joey, I figured you'd understand. I mean, I-I've known him a lot longer.
Joey Tribbiani: Come on Ross! Look, I-I don't have any brothers; I'll never get to be a best man!
Chandler Bing: You can be the best man when I get married.
Joey Tribbiani: I'll never get to be a best man!
Ross Geller: Wait-wait, so, you get to be my best man twice and I never get to be yours at all?
Chandler Bing: Oh no-no-no, you-yeah, of course you get to be my best man.
Joey Tribbiani: What about me?! You-you just said I could!
Chandler Bing: I'm not even getting married! Okay, this is a question for science fiction writers!
Joey Tribbiani: I can't believe you're not picking me.
Ross Geller: Hey, how can it not be me?!HeyHey!
Chandler Bing: I'm not even... I'm not even...
Ross Geller: Fine, y'know what, that's it. From now on, Joey, I want you to be my best man.
Joey Tribbiani: Yes! Shame about you man.
Phoebe Buffay: Stop it!
Monica Geller: What?
Phoebe Buffay: One of the babies is kicking.
Monica Geller: I thought that was a good thing.
Phoebe Buffay: It's not kicking me, it's kicking one of the other babies. Oh ! Don't make me come in there!
Joey Tribbiani: Hey!
Monica Geller: Hey!
Joey Tribbiani: Do you guys have like a big bowl I can borrow?
Monica Geller: Yeah, there's one right under the cabinet.
Joey Tribbiani: Thanks.
Monica Geller: Why do you need it?
Joey Tribbiani: Oh, we're having a big party tomorrow night. Later!
Rachel Green: Whoa! Hey-hey, you planning on inviting us?
Joey Tribbiani: Nooo, later.
Phoebe Buffay: Hey!! Get your ass back here, Tribbiani!!
Rachel Green: Hormones!
Monica Geller: What Phoebe meant to say was umm, how come you're having a party and we're not invited?
Joey Tribbiani: Oh, it's Ross's bachelor party.
Monica Geller: Sooo?
Joey Tribbiani: Are you bachelors?
Monica Geller: Nooo!
Joey Tribbiani: Are you strippers?
Rachel Green: Nooo!
Joey Tribbiani: Then you're not invited.
Rachel Green: All right fine! You're not invited to the party we're gonna have either.
Joey Tribbiani: Oh-whoa, what party?
Rachel Green: Well umm...
Monica Geller: The baby shower for Phoebe!
Joey Tribbiani: Baby shower. Wow! That sounds sooo like something I don't want to do! Later!
Phoebe Buffay: I can't believe I'm gonna have a party! This is so great! A party! Yay!! I don't know why.
Joey Tribbiani: This is what I've got going for the party so far, liquor wise. Get a lot of liquor.
Ross Geller: Great. Great.
Joey Tribbiani: Okay, now uh, in terms of the invite list, I've got you, me, and Chandler and I'm gonna invite Gunther 'cause, well, we've been talking about this pretty loud.
Gunther: I'll be there.
Joey Tribbiani: All right-oh! Listen, I know this is your party, but I'd really like to the number of museum geeks that are gonna be there.
Ross Geller: Yeah. Tell ya what, let's not invite any of the anthropologists, only the dinosaur dudes!
Joey Tribbiani: Okay! We'll need a six-pack of Zima.
Chandler Bing: Hey guys, what are you doing?
Ross Geller: Oh, just planning my bachelor party with my best man.
Chandler Bing: Yeah, well, good luck trying to top the last one.
Ross Geller: Yeah, see, I don't think it's gonna that difficult considering this one won't be taking place in the basement of a Pizza Hut.
Chandler Bing: Oh, I'm Ross. I'm Ross. I'm too good for the Hut; I'm too good for the Hut.
Ross Geller: Look, I gotta go pick up Ben. Everything so far sounds great Joey, just remember to keep it on the mellow side, okay? Just a couple of guys hanging out playing poker, no-no strippers or anything okay?
Joey Tribbiani: You got it.
Ross Geller: Okay, see ya later.
Chandler Bing: See ya. Have fun planning your mellow bachelor party.
Joey Tribbiani: Well, there's gonna be strippers there. He didn't say anything about no strippers.
Chandler Bing: He just said, "No strippers."
Joey Tribbiani: Oh, I chose not to hear that.
Monica Geller: Look what I got! Look what I got! Look what I got! Can you believe they make these for little people?
Rachel Green: Little village people.
Monica Geller: Okay, look at this one. This is my favourite.
Rachel Green: Oh, that is so sweet!
Monica Geller: I know! Phoebe is gonna love dressing them in these!
Rachel Green: Huh. Except, Phoebe's not gonna be the one that gets to dress them.
Monica Geller: Because she's not gonna get to keep the babies.
Rachel Green: Oh my God! We are throwing the most depressing baby shower ever!
Monica Geller: Wait a minute! Unless, we give her all gifts she can use after she's done being pregnant. Like-like umm, regular coffee, Tequila.
Rachel Green: Oh, and somebody can get those leather pants she's always wanted!
Monica Geller: Oh, she's gonna love that!
Phoebe Buffay: What the hell is this?! What, did you actually thought it would make me feel better to give me stuff that I can't use for another two months?! This sucks! All right, what's my next present?!
Everyone: I don't have anything.
Ross Geller: Hey listen man, about the stripper...
Joey Tribbiani: Yeah?
Ross Geller: Good call!
Chandler Bing: Okay, a little announcement, a little announcement. I've decided that my best man is, my best friend Gunther!
Gunther: What's my last name?
Chandler Bing: Central Perk?
Gunther: Thanks for not marrying Rachel.
Joey Tribbiani: Oh-whoa-wait, Gunther don't-don't forget your shirt.
Ross Geller: Hey-hey, what are those?
Joey Tribbiani: Oh, little party favours, check it out!
Ross Geller: Wow! Yeah!
Joey Tribbiani: Oh-oh!
Chandler Bing: Okay, okay, a little announcement, I just want everyone to know that the position of my best man is still open! And uh, so is the position of the bride.
The Stripper: Great!
Ross Geller: Smooth man. Yeah, you got some chilie on your neck. Well, I just want to say, thanks everyone, this-this was great. And hey! See you guys Monday morning. Thanks Joey.
Joey Tribbiani: Oh, hey, don't forget your shirt.
Ross Geller: Oh, thanks!
Joey Tribbiani: Okay, hey, museum geeks, party's over. Okay. Wave bye-bye to the nice lady. There you go. Back to your parent's basement. All right. Come on boys, come on out! Here you go. All right.
The Stripper: Ohhh, look at the little birdies! Are those yours?
Joey Tribbiani: Yeah!
The Stripper: Wow, I didn't know they let you keep chickens and ducks as pets.
Joey Tribbiani: Oh yeah-yeah. And I got the duck totally trained. Watch this. Stare at the wall. Hardly move. Be white.
The Stripper: You are really good at that. So uh, I had fun tonight, you throw one hell of a party.
Joey Tribbiani: Oh thanks. Thanks. It was great meetin' ya. And listen if any of my friends gets married, or have a birthday, or a Tuesday...
The Stripper: Yeah, that would be great. So I guess umm, good night.
Joey Tribbiani: Oh unless you uh, you wanna hang around.
The Stripper: Yeah?
Joey Tribbiani: Yeah. I'll let you play with my duck.
Joey Tribbiani: Hey, stripper!
Joey Tribbiani: The stripper stole the ring!! The stripper stole the ring!! Chandler! Chandler, get up! Get up! The stripper stole the ring!
Chandler Bing: What?
Joey Tribbiani: The ring is gone!
Chandler Bing: Ugh. Just a sec, give me a minute to wake up for this-Ah-ha-ha!! You lost the ring! You're the worst best man ever!
Joey Tribbiani: Dude, this isn't funny! What am I gonna do?! I go to bed last night, everything's cool! I wake up this morning, the stripper's gone and the ring is gone!
Chandler Bing: You slept with the stripper?
Joey Tribbiani: Of course!!
Phoebe Buffay: Hi, guys.
Rachel Green: Hi! Phoebe.
Monica Geller: Hi Phoebe.
Phoebe Buffay: I-I wanted to apologise if I-y'know seemed a tad edgy yesterday at my shower. Y'know it's just the hormones, y'know.
Rachel Green: No we...
Monica Geller: Hormones.
Rachel Green: ...hormones, yeah.
Phoebe Buffay: Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you, it was just, it was so sweet.
Monica Geller: Wow, you seem to be doing so much better. That's great. So how-how are things going?
Phoebe Buffay: Good. Y'know-no-no, okay, it's-it feels like everything's been about me lately, so what's happening with you?
Rachel Green: Oh, well, actually we were just talking about me not going to Ross's wedding.
Phoebe Buffay: Oh!
Rachel Green: It just might be too hard, given the history and all that...
Phoebe Buffay: Wow! This reminds me of the time when I was umm, living on the street and this guy offered to buy me food if I slept with him.
Rachel Green: Well, h-how is this like that?
Phoebe Buffay: Well, let's see, it's not. Really, like that. Because, you see that was an actual problem, and uh, yours is just like y'know a bunch of y'know high school crap that nobody really gives y'know...
Rachel Green: I'm-I'm sorry, I just thought that...
Phoebe Buffay: Alrighty, here come the water works.
Joey Tribbiani: Ugh! I don't know what I'm going to do! I called the company that sent and th-they don't care! Then I called 9-1-1 and they laughed at me, if this isn't an emergency, then what is?
Ross Geller: Hey guys!
Chandler Bing: Hey!
Joey Tribbiani: Hey...
Ross Geller: I just wanted to thank you again for last night, what a great party! And the guys from work had a blast. Y'know, one of them had never been to a bachelor party before. Yeah! And-and another one had never been to a party before, so...
Joey Tribbiani: So uh, hey, that uh, that wedding ring, huh? Man, that's nice!
Ross Geller: Yeah, right!
Joey Tribbiani: I was uh, I was thinking I might want to pick one of those babies up for myself, I might want to get one of those...
Ross Geller: That ring? When my grandmother first came to this country, that ring and the clothes on her back were all she had with her.
Chandler Bing: So you might say, the ring is irreplaceable?
Ross Geller: Oh absolutely! It has been in my family for generations, and every bride who has worn it has had a long and happy life.
Chandler Bing: So you might say, it's a magic ring.
Joey Tribbiani: Yeah, the stripper stole it.
Ross Geller: My-my ring? My-my wedding ring? The-the stripper stole my wedding ring?! H-how?! How could this all happen?!
Chandler Bing: Well, I think it all started when you said, "Hey Joey, why don't you be my best man."
Ross Geller: All right-all right, fine! I-I'm gonna call the cops!
Joey Tribbiani: Dude, I screwed up, you don't have to turn me in!
Ross Geller: Not on you! On the stripper!
Joey Tribbiani: Oh, yeah, well I already did that! They said they're gonna look into it right after they solved all the murders.
Ross Geller: Okay, well, we'll call the company that sent her!
Joey Tribbiani: I did that too! They wouldn't give me her real name or her number. They said, "If I bothered them again they'd call the police." I said, "If you talk to the police, you tell them I'm missing a ring!"
Ross Geller: So what, Joey? Wh-wh-what? What are you telling me? That there's nothing we can do? Well, how could this happen?!
Joey Tribbiani: Look Ross, I am so-so sorry. I-I-I...
Chandler Bing: Well, what if we just ah, called her, used a fake name, and had her come to my office?
Joey Tribbiani: Oh, that sounds like fun, but we've got a ring to find!!
Monica Geller: Here's your tea Phoebe.
Phoebe Buffay: It's so good. Oh, thanks.
Rachel Green: Good.
Monica Geller: I'm so glad you liked it.
Phoebe Buffay: Oh!
Monica Geller: What?!
Rachel Green: What?! She made the tea!
Phoebe Buffay: Oh! No, I-I think I just had a contraction.
Rachel Green: You what?
Monica Geller: Oh my God!
Phoebe Buffay: Yeah, I thought I had one a couple of minutes ago, and now I know that was definitely one.
Monica Geller: Wait, you can't have the baby here! I mean I haven't sterilised it since the guys moved out!
Rachel Green: Okay. It's okay. We're gonna be okay. Y'know what? It's okay. I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna boil some water and just rip up some sheets!
Phoebe Buffay: No. It's all right; it's probably false labour. They said that, that can happen near the end, just somebody get the book.
Monica Geller: Rachel, get the book! The book!
Rachel Green: Okay! Okay! Here!
Monica Geller: The Bible?!
Rachel Green: I don't know!
Joey Tribbiani: All right, okay, this is great, uh, Chandler, you get behind the desk. And-and when she comes in hopefully, she won't recognise you because, well, why would she? Uh, okay, and then you buzz Ross and I. You be Mr. Gonzalez, and I'll be uh, Mr. Wong.
Ross Geller: Diverse.
The Stripper: Did anybody call for security?
Chandler Bing: You be cool.
The Stripper: Okay, which one of you guys is Gunther Central-Perk? Hey, Joey?
Ross Geller: Where's my ring? My dead grandmother's wedding ring? Where is it? Where is it?
Chandler Bing: Way to be cool, man.
The Stripper: What's he talking about?
Joey Tribbiani: There was a ring, in a box, on my nightstand, after you left, it was gone!
The Stripper: Wait, you guys think I stole some ring?
The Guys: Yeah!
Ross Geller: We know you took so just-just save yourself the time and confess!
The Stripper: Okay, who are you? The Hardy boys? Look, I don't need to steal some stupid ring, all right? I make $1,600 a week doing what I do; any of you guys make that?
Chandler Bing: Marry me.
Joey Tribbiani: I don't get it! It was in my room all night! And if she didn't take it, and I didn't take it; and you didn't take it, then who did? Shh! We're trying to think!
Rachel Green: I still don't get how you know when it's false labour.
Phoebe Buffay: Well, do you see any babies?
Monica Geller: How do you feel?
Phoebe Buffay: Okay, I guess. I mean... I don't know, it's just, I guess I know it's going to be over soon.
Rachel Green: Well, isn't that a good thing? You said you were sick of this.
Phoebe Buffay: I know. It's just y'know usually when you're, when you're done with the pregnant thing, y'know, then you get to do the mom thing. I'm gonna be y'know, sitting around in my leather pants, drinking Tequila.
Monica Geller: Some moms do that.
Phoebe Buffay: Okay that's even sadder. Look, I know, I know what I got myself into, it's just that now that they're in me it's like, it's like I know them y'know, I mean-I mean, it's just not gonna be easy when these little babies have to go away.
Monica Geller: Aww, sweetie, but it's not like you're not gonna have anything. You're gonna have nieces and nephews, and some ways that's even better.
Phoebe Buffay: Yeah, okay.
Rachel Green: No, really. Really, Pheebs, you're not gonna be the one worrying about saving for college, or yelling at them when they're bad, y'know, or deciding to put them on Ritalin when they just won't calm down. Y'know?
Monica Geller: I mean, you're the one they're gonna come to when they wanna run away from home, and the one they talk to about sex.
Rachel Green: And you just get to be cool Aunt Phoebe!
Phoebe Buffay: Cool Aunt Phoebe. I am pretty cool!
Monica Geller: Yeah.
Rachel Green: And y'know what else, oh my God, are they gonna love you.
Phoebe Buffay: They are gonna love me.
Rachel Green: Oh!
Phoebe Buffay: Thanks you guys! Again.
Monica Geller: Oh, sweetie!
Phoebe Buffay: You're the best. Thanks. Oh!
Phoebe Buffay: Just kidding. Ahh!
Rachel Green: What?!
Monica Geller: Oh my God!
Phoebe Buffay: Got cha again, you guys are so easy.
Joey Tribbiani: If anything should happen to him...
Ross Geller: Joey! The vet said it's a simple procedure.
Joey Tribbiani: So! Things can go wrong! You don't know! What if he doesn't make it?!
Chandler Bing: He will, Joe.
Joey Tribbiani: Yeah, but what if he doesn't? He's such a good duck.
Joey Tribbiani: I'm so worried about him, y'know?
The Doctor: Somebody lose a ring?
Ross Geller: Oh my God! Thank you! Thank you so much!
Joey Tribbiani: H-h-h-how's the duck?
The Doctor: He's doing just fine, he's resting now, but you can see him in a little bit.
Joey Tribbiani: Ohh, great! Oh hey, listen Ross, thanks for being so cool about this.
Ross Geller: No, that's all right.
Joey Tribbiani: No, it's not. I mean you-you made me your best man and I totally let you down!
Chandler Bing: Hey, come on, it's not your fault.
Joey Tribbiani: Yeah, it is! You wouldn't have lost the ring, right? Y'know what, Ross you were right from the start, he should be your best man.
Chandler Bing: No, you should.
Joey Tribbiani: Now, don't argue with me...
Ross Geller: Hey! Hey! Hey! I get to choose my best man, and I want both you guys.
Chandler Bing: Really?
Joey Tribbiani: Really?
Ross Geller: Hey, both you guys should be up there with me. I mean, you two are-are my... I mean, I'm lucky to have just one good...
Chandler Bing: Thanks man.
Joey Tribbiani: I gotta go check something over here.
Chandler Bing: What a baby.
Ross Geller: Total wuss!


Monica Geller: Guys, hurry up! The flight leaves in four hours! It could take time to get a taxi! There could be traffic! The plane could leave early! When we get to London, there could be a line at customs! Come on!!
Chandler Bing: Six-hour trip to London. That's a lot of Monica.
Joey Tribbiani: What do you got there?
Chandler Bing: Condoms, dude!
Joey Tribbiani: How come the writing is in Spanish?
Chandler Bing: Don't read my condoms!
Monica Geller: Passport, check! Camera, check! Traveller's cheques, check!
Rachel Green: Who are you saying "check" too?
Monica Geller: Myself. Y'know for remembering to pack a thing. Yeah, you do a good thing, you get a check! My mom does it, I never realised it was weird.
Phoebe Buffay: Yeah, my mom used to put her head in the oven. Well, actually, she only did it the one time. But it was pretty weird.
Ross Geller: Hey!
Monica Geller: Hey!
Ross Geller: Hey! Are you ready yet?
Monica Geller: Yep! You got the tickets?
Ross Geller: Oh! Got 'em right here, check!
Joey Tribbiani: It's all London, baby! Here we go.
Chandler Bing: You got your passport?
Joey Tribbiani: Yeah, in my third drawer on my dresser. You don't want to lose that.
Joey Tribbiani: Ohh!!
Chandler Bing: There it is.
Monica Geller: Okay, if you need the vacuum, it's in my closet on the left-hand side. Ah, the garbage bags are next to the refrigerator...
Phoebe Buffay: Okay, okay, but Rachel's gonna be here too, can't I just ask her this stuff?
Monica Geller: Yeah, okay, give that a try!
Chandler Bing: All right! Let's do it!
Joey Tribbiani: Woo-hoo!!
Ross Geller: Yeah, cheerie-o!
Joey Tribbiani: London baby!
Chandler Bing: Okay, 'cause that's not gonna get annoying.
Joey Tribbiani: London baby!!
Chandler Bing: Hey, y'know what? I was wrong.
Ross Geller: Well, we're all here! I guess we should get going!
Phoebe Buffay: Ohhh, I wanna come over there and give you a hug and wish you luck on your wedding, but I don't-can't get up.
Ross Geller: Oh, I'll-I'll come hug you.
Phoebe Buffay: Great! Yeah, could you bring me the newspaper?
Ross Geller: Yeah.
Phoebe Buffay: Oh, have a great wedding!
Ross Geller: Thanks.
Phoebe Buffay: Oh, hey, Chandler I wanna hug you too!
Chandler Bing: Hey!
Phoebe Buffay: Oh, and great! You might as well bring me my book, it's on the counter in your apartment.
Chandler Bing: Oh.
Ross Geller: So, we're off.
Rachel Green: Have fun!
Ross Geller: Thanks! Ugh, I can't believe you're not gonna be there!
Rachel Green: Oh, I know.
Ross Geller: So-so come! Why don't you come?
Rachel Green: What?!
Ross Geller: To London! Come to London. Please? It'll mean so much to me.
Rachel Green: Yeah, well, I gotta work, I'm sorry.
Ross Geller: Why-why can't you take a couple of days off?
Rachel Green: Because, I can't! Ross, I told you, no. I can't.
Ross Geller: This is my wedding.
Monica Geller: All right, y'know what? We really are late! Let's go! Let's go! Let's go!!
Ross Geller: Fine. You'll-you'll watch it on video when we get back.
Chandler Bing: Here you go Phoebe! Here you go Phobo! Phewbedo! Phaybobo.
Phoebe Buffay: Thank you.
Phoebe Buffay: Thank you.
Ross Geller: All right, let's go! Bye, Pheebs!
Joey Tribbiani: Bye, Pheebs!
Joey Tribbiani: London baby!!
Phoebe Buffay: Oh, do you need a hug? You don't have to bring me anything!
Joey Tribbiani: Come on! Do something!
Chandler Bing: I am, I'm ignoring you.
Joey Tribbiani: Okay, here! I wanna be the on camera guy. All right, first stop, Westminster Abbey.
Chandler Bing: Oh, what the hell is that?
Joey Tribbiani: It's London, baby! All right, the hotel's here. Wait. No, we wanna go... No. I know. I'm gonna have to go into the map.
Chandler Bing: Okay, if you see a little version of me in there? Kill it!
Joey Tribbiani: I got it! Here we go.
Chandler Bing: Okay. Listen-listen, we're not gonna have to walk this way the entire time are we?
Joey Tribbiani: Shhh! Man, you made me lose it!
Emily Waltham: ...and that was all before 10 o'clock. The caterer rang and said it was going to be Chicken Kiev instead of Chicken Tarragon. And then the florist phoned to say there aren't any tulips. Oh, and the chilliest has carpel-tunel syndrome. We're not gonna be...
Ross Geller: Whoa-whoa-whoa! Emily, honey, okay?
Emily Waltham: Well, up yours too!
Ross Geller: What?!
Emily Waltham: Oh, that's not what it means?
Ross Geller: No! No! That's-that's time-out!
Emily Waltham: Sorry.
Ross Geller: Sweetie, you gotta relax. Everything's gonna be great, okay? Come on. Come on.
Monica Geller: Chicken Kiev?
Ross Geller: Um-hmm! Doesn't that sound delicious at the last minute?
Monica Geller: Yeah, y'know, but something like salmon which would be so much more elegant than the chicken. And, you wouldn't have to worry about the salmonella. But of course with salmon you'd have to worry about the chickenella... So, I can't wait to see this place you're getting married!
Ross Geller: Yeah. Yeah. Yes, this place is beautiful. Emily's parents got married here.
Emily Waltham: I still can't believe they're tearing it down. It really is the most lovely building you'll ever see. I mean it's over... Oh my God!
Monica Geller: It's nice.
Emily Waltham: Oh. Oh.
Emily Waltham: Oh. Oh my God. How can this be happening? What are we going to do?
Ross Geller: It's all right! Everything's gonna be all right.
Emily Waltham: How's it gonna be all right?!
Ross Geller: Uh-huh, I see that.
Monica Geller: Okay, I talked to the guy with the shovel and I found out what happened.
Ross Geller: What? What?
Monica Geller: They tore it down a few days early.
Joey Tribbiani: All right! Westminster Abbey! Hands down, best Abbey I've ever seen. Hey! Okay. What do you think of the Abbey, Chandler?
Chandler Bing: I think it's great. It's great. Y'know, they're thinking of changing the name of this place.
Joey Tribbiani: Really? To what?
Chandler Bing: To Put the Camera Away!!!
Joey Tribbiani: Man, you are Westminster Crabby.
Monica Geller: Don't worry. You'll find some place to get married.
Monica Geller: Oowww!!
Dressmaker: Sorry. Lucky this dress is red!
Emily Waltham: We can't find another place. Then we can't have the wedding! I've ordered chicken and salad and-and cake for 150. What should be the most wonderful day of my life is rapidly turning into just Sunday with a spectacular amount of food!
Monica Geller: You're gonna find a place. But even if - God forbid - you didn't.. So you postpone the wedding. Is that really so bad? I mean, think about it. You could take all the time you needed to get everything that you want. You could have tulips, you could have salmon... Mmmmm... Salmon!!
Emily Waltham: I suppose it wouldn't be the end of the world... Oh, thank you!
Monica Geller: But either way... You're gonna get married, you're gonna be happy, my mom's gonna like you better than me.
Monica Geller: Oh, god... She's told you that already, didn't she?!
Phoebe Buffay: Oh. Oh.
Rachel Green: Oh, honey! Don't get up! What do you need?
Phoebe Buffay: Oh, no. Oh, nothing.
Rachel Green: Come on! I am here to take care of you! What do you need? Anything.
Phoebe Buffay: Okay, I have a wedgie.
Rachel Green: Okay, that is all you.
Phoebe Buffay: So-so, what do you want for lunch?
Rachel Green: Oh, I don't know. I guess we have to eat.
Phoebe Buffay: Yeah, I do. What's the matter?
Rachel Green: I'm just bummed about the way I left things with Ross. I shouldn't have lied to him about having to work. He seemed so mad at me.
Phoebe Buffay: Eh, don't be so hard on yourself. If someone I was still in love with was getting married...
Rachel Green: Still in love with?!
Phoebe Buffay: Yeah!
Rachel Green: I'm not in love with Ross!
Phoebe Buffay: Oh. No. No. Good! Yeah, me neither.
Rachel Green: Phoebe, I'm going to Ross's wedding because he is my ex-boyfriend and that would be really uncomfortable. Not because, I'm still in love with him! I mean, hey, y'know, I like Ross as much as the next guy, y'know? Clearly I have feelings for him, but feelings don't mean love! I mean, I still have loving feelings for Ross. Yeah! But, I have, I have continuing feelings of love, but that doesn't mean that-that I'm still in love with him. Y'know? I-I have sexual feelings for him, but I do love him-Ohh! Oh my God! Oh my-why didn't you tell me?!!
Phoebe Buffay: We thought you knew!
Rachel Green: We?!
Phoebe Buffay: Yeah, we all know! We talk about it all the time!
Rachel Green: You all know? Does Ross know?
Phoebe Buffay: Oh no, Ross doesn't know anything.
Rachel Green: Oh, I can not believe you didn't tell me!
Phoebe Buffay: Well, because we thought you knew!! It's so obvious! God, that would be like telling Monica, "Hey, you like things clean." Or, y'know, "Hey, Joey, you're gay."
Rachel Green: What?!
Phoebe Buffay: Oh, please! She's always got a broom in her hand!
Joey Tribbiani: Hey!
The Vendor: So, what are you guys in the market for? We've got uh, scarves, tulip post cards...
Joey Tribbiani: Check this out? Huh? Yeah. That's the stuff. What do you think?
Chandler Bing: Well, I don't have to buy that, "I'm with stupid" T-shirt anymore.
Joey Tribbiani: Well, I like it. Here you go.
Chandler Bing: All right, look, you're not really gonna buy that are you? Don't you think you've embarrassed me enough for one day?
Joey Tribbiani: Oh, I embarrass you?
Chandler Bing: How can I answer that when I'm pretending I don't know you?
The Vendor: He's just jealous. You'll fit right in; all Londoners wear them!
Chandler Bing: Oh really? Then how come no one here is wearing them?
The Vendor: They're all tourists.
Chandler Bing: All right, look, if you insist on wearing that, in public, y'know, you're gonna spend the rest of the afternoon all by yourself.
Joey Tribbiani: Oh yeah? If you're gonna make me choose between you and the hat? I choose the hat.
The Vendor: Good choice.
Joey Tribbiani: Thanks.
Chandler Bing: Okay, wait. All right, that's it, okay, I'm out of here. I am not going to be embarrassed anymore!
Joey Tribbiani: How you doin'? Joey Tribbiani, America.
Emily Waltham: Hello?
Ross Geller: Hey! I just spoke to your dad, and you know what? He seems to think we'll be able to find a new place for the wedding.
Emily Waltham: We don't have to.
Ross Geller: Whoa-whoa-what? You found a place?
Emily Waltham: No. But, Monica and I were talking, and-and I was so upset about the hall being knocked down, and she suggested that we put the wedding off for a bit.
Ross Geller: She said what?
Emily Waltham: She said, "If I'm not gonna be happy getting married somewhere that we find in a day, well then we should just postpone it."
Ross Geller: Postpone it? Emily, do you think Monica realises how much our parents spent on this wedding? Do you my sister's teeny-tiny little brain comprehends that people took time out of their lives to fly thousands of miles to be here, huh? This isn't right.
Emily Waltham: I realise that people are going to be disappointed. But, I'm sure they'll come back when we can do it right.
Ross Geller: I can't ask people to do that? Would you ask people to do that?
Emily Waltham: Don't you point your pants at me! We have no choice! Anywhere that's half-decent would've be booked months ago, Ross don't you understand? This is our wedding I'm talking about.
Ross Geller: The only thing I understand is; postponing it is not an option. This is when we're getting married.
Emily Waltham: So what are you saying? It's now or never?
Ross Geller: No. I'm saying it's now.
Emily Waltham: Or?
Ross Geller: There's no 'or' in mind. What is wrong with these pants?!!
Emily Waltham: It's not the pants. It's you that is backwards. And if, and if you don't understand how important this is to me, well then, perhaps we shouldn't get married at all!
Ross Geller: No, wait! Emily! No, wait, stop! Emily, please-
Phoebe Buffay: Hey!
Rachel Green: Hi.
Phoebe Buffay: So, did shopping make you feel any better about Ross?
Rachel Green: Manhattan does not have enough stores.
Phoebe Buffay: Well, I think I can help you get over him.
Rachel Green: You can?
Phoebe Buffay: Yeah. I just need you to bring me some photos of Ross.
Rachel Green: Um-hmm.
Phoebe Buffay: And a small piece of chocolate.
Rachel Green: Okay.
Phoebe Buffay: And a glass of tepid water.
Rachel Green: Ooh, is this one of those things where you throw it in a bag with some graveyard dirt and hang it from a north-facing tree?
Phoebe Buffay: Uh, only if you have the hiccups too. Yeah, the pictures are for you, the water and the chocolate is for me. I just didn't feel like getting up. Okay, I'm gonna show you a picture of Ross. Okay? And you're going to remember all of the bad things about him. All right? Really focus on his flaws.
Rachel Green: I can do that. I certainly did it when we were going out.
Phoebe Buffay: Okay. Umm, before we get started, I just wanna say for the record that I love Ross, I think he's such a great guy. Here. Okay, now, close your eyes. And imagine that you're with Ross okay and imagine that you're kissing him. And you're-you're running your hands all over his body. And then you run your hands through his hair, but eew-oh gross it's some kind of grease, it's-uck! Hah?
Rachel Green: I don't know, his uh, his hair never really bothered me that much, and y'know it was always more crunchy than it was greasy.
Phoebe Buffay: Okay, this is going to be harder than I thought. Umm, let's try some uh, aversion therapy.
Rachel Green: Okay.
Phoebe Buffay: Okay?
Rachel Green: All right.
Phoebe Buffay: So uh, now look at the picture...
Rachel Green: Okay.
Phoebe Buffay: All right, and umm...
Rachel Green: Ow!
Phoebe Buffay: Okay, how do you feel now?
Rachel Green: Well, I like you less!
Chandler Bing: Well, this is just as boring in England.
Joey Tribbiani: Hey.
Chandler Bing: Hey.
Joey Tribbiani: Oh. Sorry!
Chandler Bing: No-no-no, y'know what? I really shouldn't have said that you were embarrassing me, I mean that really wasn't cool. And if it makes you feel any better, I've had a really lousy day.
Joey Tribbiani: Me too.
Chandler Bing: Yeah?
Joey Tribbiani: Noo!! I've had the best day ever! Dude, check this out! Now, I'm gonna fastforward past the part with you, 'cause it is boring.
Monica Geller: Hey!
Joey Tribbiani: Sh-shh-shh!
Joey Tribbiani: Okay, so say hi to my friend and tell him that you like the hat.
Fergie: Okay, so umm, what's your friend's name?
Joey Tribbiani: Oh, Chandler.
Fergie: Hi Chandler!
Chandler Bing: That's... That's was...
Monica Geller: Oh my God!
Joey Tribbiani: That's Fergie baby!!
Fergie: Joey says you don't really like his hat, but I think it's kinda dashing.
Joey Tribbiani: So, I hear you're single now...
Fergie: Yeah, ummm, I don't like the hat that much.
Chandler Bing: How did you? How? How?
Joey Tribbiani: Well, I was trying to figure out how to get to Buckingham Palace, right? So, I'm in my map and-and... Hey!
Monica Geller: Hey!
Ross Geller: Hi. I understand you had a little talk with Emily.
Monica Geller: Yes, I did! And you are welcome!
Ross Geller: Am I?! And was it your idea to postpone the wedding?!
Monica Geller: Umm...
Chandler Bing: I'm gonna go to the bathroom.
Joey Tribbiani: Wait up!
Ross Geller: Hey-hey, since you're the 'fix-it' lady, here's a pickle, what do you do when the bride says she doesn't want to have the wedding at all?
Monica Geller: She said that?!
Ross Geller: Yeah.
Monica Geller: Why?!
Ross Geller: I don't know, I told her it was stupid to put off the wedding just because the hall was gone and she liked flipped out.
Monica Geller: Oh my God. You're even dumber than I am!
Ross Geller: Excuse me?
Monica Geller: Ross, how long have you been planning this wedding?
Ross Geller: I don't know. A month?
Monica Geller: Emily has probably been planning it since she was five! Ever since the first time she took a pillowcase and hung it off the back of her head. That's what we did! We dreamed about the perfect wedding, and the perfect place, with the perfect four-tiered wedding cake , with the little people on top. Thanks. But the most important part is that we had the perfect guy who understood just how important all that other stuff was.
Ross Geller: I had no idea. And that-that pillowcase thing, I thought you guys were just doing the flying nun.
Monica Geller: Sometimes we were.
Ross Geller: Come on. You gotta help me figure out what to do. Okay?
Monica Geller: Okay.
Ross Geller: Come on.
Chandler Bing: That was pretty intense huh?
Joey Tribbiani: Yeah. Hey, I hope Ross didn't think that we just went in there because we were uncomfortable being out here!
Chandler Bing: I hope he did!
Phoebe Buffay: Ooh! I thought of a good flaw! Ross pops his gum!
Rachel Green: Oh, right! Wait a minute, I do that too.
Phoebe Buffay: Yeah, I know. It drives me crazy.
Phoebe Buffay: I'll get it.
Phoebe Buffay: Hello.
Joey Tribbiani: Hey, Pheebs! It's Joey!
Phoebe Buffay: Hey, Joey! Hey! Ooh! Ooh! I just say someone on the-that looks just like you on the subway. And I was gonna go over and say 'hi!' but then I figured, he doesn't care if he looks like you.
Joey Tribbiani: That just cost me four bucks. But uh listen, I just called to see how the chick and the duck are doing?
Phoebe Buffay: Ohh, they're having a great time with their Aunt Phoebe! Aunt Rachel hasn't been helpful at all. So, do you miss me?
Joey Tribbiani: Kinda, but I've just been having way too much fun.
Phoebe Buffay: So you're not homesick yet?
Joey Tribbiani: No, I don't think so.
Phoebe Buffay: All right, the seven of us miss you.
Joey Tribbiani: Who's seven?
Phoebe Buffay: Y'know, me, Rachel, the birds, the babies...
Joey Tribbiani: Ahh, the babies miss me?
Phoebe Buffay: Of course they do! Or I'm just really hungry.
Phoebe Buffay: Ooh, the pizza guy's here!
Joey Tribbiani: What? You ordered pizza without me?!
Phoebe Buffay: Yeah. But y'know we were thinking about you, y'know we ordered the Joey Special.
Joey Tribbiani: Two pizzas?!
Phoebe Buffay: Yep! Okay, gotta go, talk to you later.
Joey Tribbiani: Wait, well, where did you get it from?!
Emily Waltham: Monica, why have you brought me here of all places?!
Monica Geller: You'll see.
Emily Waltham: I tell you, this wedding is not going to happen.
Emily Waltham: Oh God.
Ross Geller: Okay? But-but imagine a lot more lights, okay? And-and y'know fewer bricks, and-and-and flowers, and candles...
Monica Geller: And the musicians, look, they can go over here , okay? And the chairs can face this way , and... You go.
Ross Geller: But-but, if you don't love this, we'll do it in any other place at any other time. Really, it's fine, whatever you want.
Emily Waltham: It's perfect.
Ross Geller: And, I don't know, if it starts to rain...
Emily Waltham: Well then we'll get wet.
Monica Geller: Ohh. And I don't even have a date.
Rachel Green: Pheebs?
Phoebe Buffay: Yeah?
Rachel Green: Do you remember where the duck food is?
Phoebe Buffay: Yeah, it's in the guys' apartment under the sink. Why?
Rachel Green: Because I'm going to London.
Phoebe Buffay: What?! What do you mean you're going to London?
Rachel Green: Yeah, I have to tell Ross that I love him. Now honey, you take care, you don't have those babies until I get back.
Phoebe Buffay: But what about all the "finding-his-flaws" stuff we've been doing?
Rachel Green: Yeah, that didn't work.
Phoebe Buffay: I-Rachel, you can't go! Ross loves Emily!
Rachel Green: Yeah, I know, I know, I know he does. But I have to tell him how I feel! He deserves to have all the information and then he can make an informed decision.
Phoebe Buffay: That's not why you're going! You're going because you hope he's gonna say, "Yeah, I love you too, Rach. Forget that British chippy."
Rachel Green: Ohh-Do you think he will?!
Phoebe Buffay: No! Because he's in love with the British chippy! Look, Rachel, if you go, you're just gonna mess with his head and ruin his wedding! Y'know, it's too late! You missed you're chance! I'm sorry, I know this must be really hard, it's over.
Rachel Green: Y'know what? No. It's not over until someone says, "I do."
Phoebe Buffay: I do! I do! I do! I do! Ugh, like I can really chase you. I'm carrying a litter.


Housekeeper: The Waltham Residence.
Phoebe Buffay: Oh...yes..is this..umm..Emily's Parents' house.
Housekeeper: This is the housekeeper speaking. And by the way, young lady, that is not how one addresses a person on the telephone. First one identifies oneself and then asks for the person with whom one wishes to speak.
Phoebe Buffay: What are you saying?!
Housekeeper: Now, let us try that again, shall we?
Phoebe Buffay: No! Ooh! Oh my god!
Housekeeper: The Waltham Residence.
Phoebe Buffay: Hello. This is Phoebe Buffay. I was wondering, please, if-if it's not too much trouble, please, umm, might I speak to Miss Emily Waltham, please?
Housekeeper: Miss Waltham, is at the rehearsal dinner and it's not polite to make fun of people. Goodbye.
Phoebe Buffay: No no no, I'll be nice, I swear!!! Could you just give me the number for where they are?
Housekeeper: I'm afraid, I'm not at liberty to divulge that information.
Phoebe Buffay: Ok, somebody is on their way to ruin wedding okay. And I have to warn somebody, alright. So if you don't give me that number then I'm going to come over there and kick your snooty ass all the way to New Glocken..shire.
Housekeeper: Hangs up.
Phoebe Buffay: Hello, Hello. Ohh, OHH, she knew I could kick her ass.
Monica Geller: Hey.
Ross Geller: Hi. Mom. Dad.
Judy Geller: Sweetheart. Oh sorry were late, my fault, I insisted on riding the tube.
Jack Geller: Judy, the kids..
Judy Geller: Jack, that's what they call the subway.
Jack Geller: Ohh, I thought that you...
Emily Waltham: Ohh, here comes my dad and stepmum. Mister and Misses Geller, this is Steven and Andrea Waltham.
Stephen Waltham: Hello. Hello. How do you do? How do you do? Very nice to meet you. Darling it's the Gellers. Darling, it's the Gellers. She's very self-absorbed, you know. I should never have married her.
Andrea Waltham: Sorry, what?
Stephen Waltham: It's the Gellers!
Andrea Waltham: Where?
Stephen Waltham: Well there's one and there's another .
Andrea Waltham: Lovely to meet you.
Stephen Waltham: Terribly nice of you to offer to pay for half the wedding.
Jack Geller: Ohh forget it. Too hell with tradition, we're happy to do it.
Judy Geller: We know how expensive weddings can be, besides this may be the only wedding we get to throw .
Monica Geller: Ha ha, a joke that's funny in all countries.
Waiter: Sir?
Joey Tribbiani: What's in it?
Waiter: Goat cheese, water chestnuts, and panchetta.
Joey Tribbiani: That's not food...No, I don't, no... Everything's different here...I want to go home. I...I miss my family. I miss the coffee house. I can't even remember what Phoebe looks like.
Chandler Bing: Joey, it's been three days, okay.. Your just a little homesick, Okay. Would you just try to relax. Just, just try to enjoy yourself.
Joey Tribbiani: Your different here too. Your mean in England.
Jack Geller: What the hell!!!
Ross Geller: what's up, Dad?
Jack Geller: This bill for my half of the wedding. it's insane.
Judy Geller: How could it be so much? The receptions at their house.
Jack Geller: Flowers, liquor, recarpet first floor. New guest bath, landscaping. I'm paying to remodel this guys house. I'm going to give that son on a bitch, a piece of my mind.
Ross Geller: Dad, dad, please. Look I don't want anything to upset Emily tonight. Alright, she's had a hard enough couple of days as it is. Now here, here, let me go talk to him, okay?
Jack Geller: And you tell him no one takes advantage of the Gellers.
Judy Geller: Ooh, Jack... Sometimes I forget how powerful you can be.
Monica Geller: And I'm going to go get drunk.
Rachel Green: Ooh, ooh, ooh,ooh,ooh. Hi.
Ticket Agent: Hello.
Rachel Green: Hello. Umm, when is your next flight to London?
Ticket Agent: There's one leaving in thirty minutes.
Rachel Green: Ohh, good.
Ticket Agent: And I do have one seat left.
Rachel Green: Ohh, thank you, thank you, thank you.
Ticket Agent: The last minute fare on this ticket is twenty seven hundred dollars.
Rachel Green: Huh.. How about 600?
Ticket Agent: Sorry.
Rachel Green: How about 600 and these earrings?
Ticket Agent: They prefer it if I don't barter.
Rachel Green: Ohh, I just don't think I have enough left on my credit card.
Ticket Agent: Well you can split it with another credit card.
Rachel Green: Ohh, okay, how about five. Ohh, thank you.
Ticket Agent: I'm just going to need to see your passport.
Rachel Green: Okay, you know what? I don't have it, but I can tell you exactly where it is on my night stand, and...okay. But you know what? I have my drivers license and I have a twenty.
Ticket Agent:
Ross Geller: Look, face it, my father is not going to pay for the build-in barbecue and believe me you can kiss you gazebo goodbye. Now I might be able to get you the new lawn.
Stephen Waltham: Ahh, then you have to give us the lawn ornaments.
Ross Geller: I go back there with lawn ornaments, he's going to laugh in my face.
Andrea Waltham: This is ridiculous. I mean we had an agreement. Will you say something, Steven?! Please!!!
Stephen Waltham: Don't take that tone with me. All-all right you can.
Rachel Green: Hi, Pheebs.
Phoebe Buffay: Oh thank god. Oh, you changed your mind. Oh, look I know you probably want to be alone, and you don't want to talk about it, that's fine. I just want you to know, I think you are doing the right thing and...
Rachel Green: Bye, Pheebs.
Phoebe Buffay: Wait!! Where are you going?! What are you doing?! No!! Wait!! God!! Why am I always pregnant when she does that?!
Chandler Bing: I'd like to toast, Ross and Emily. Of course, my big toast will be tomorrow at the wedding, so this is kind of my little toast or Melba toast, if you will. Okay. I known Ross for a long time. In fact, I knew him when he was going out with his first girlfriend. And I thought things were going to work out for him.. Until the day he over inflated her. Ohh, Dear God..
Andrea Waltham: Hello, Waltham Interiors.
Phoebe Buffay: Oh, hi, Mrs. Waltham. I need to speak with ether one of the best men, or Ross's sister Monica.
Andrea Waltham: Who is this?
Phoebe Buffay: Oh, I'm Phoebe Buffay. I'm one of Ross's best friends.
Andrea Waltham: Where did you get this number?
Phoebe Buffay: I got it from your maid. She's a bitch, but I wore her down.
Andrea Waltham: Well, if you're one of Ross's best friends, why aren't you here?
Phoebe Buffay: Yeah, um, I can't fly. I'm having my brother's babies.
Andrea Waltham: Oh, am I on the radio?
Phoebe Buffay: No..umm, could I talk to one of them? It's very very important.
Andrea Waltham: No, I'm bored with you now. I'm going to cut you off.
Phoebe Buffay: Ohh! Okay, I'm going to have to kick her ass too.
Chandler Bing: And I'm sure we're all very excited that Ross and Emily are getting married at Montgomery Hall. I mean to think, my friend getting married in Monty Hall. Ohh, come on!! Monty Hall!! Lets make a Deal!! Come on, you people!! All right, forget it!! Congratulations, Ross and Emily.
Joey Tribbiani: Hey, best man number two, Joey Tribbiani. Now I'm not good with the jokes like Chandler here. Boy...but ahh, I just want to say congratulation to the happy couple. I first met Ross in this coffee house back home...Home...New York City...Where everybody knows my name. Well anyway, I love you guys. But not as much as I love America. Could we please..go home now?
Felicity: Are you going home? I was hoping to get to know you better.
Joey Tribbiani: I'm not going anywhere, sweetheart.
Monica Geller: I was laughing.
Chandler Bing: Out loud?
Monica Geller: Well I didn't want everyone to think I was stupid.
Chandler Bing: So how are you doing?
Monica Geller: My mother's driving me crazy, but Ross is getting married. I'm happy. I'm not going to let anything spoil that.
Drunk Man: I just want to say that Ross is a wonderful young man.
Monica Geller: Well, thanks, we like him.
Drunk Man: My god!! You must have been a teenage when you had him.
Jack Geller: There's no way in hell, I'm paying for it.
Ross Geller: Look, were down to just one point. Could we please, maybe just settle it after the wedding.
Jack Geller: All-right fine, but I just want to say, I'm not paying for your wine cellar. You thieving, would be speaking German if it weren't for us, cheap little man.
Chandler Bing: The guy was hammered, okay? There's no way, you look like Ross's mother.
Monica Geller: Then why would he say it?
Chandler Bing: Because he's crazy. Okay? He came up to me earlier and thanked me for my very moving performance in Titanic.
Monica Geller: Oh, my mother's right. I'm never going to get married.
Chandler Bing: Ahh, you know what? That is...Who wouldn't want you?
Monica Geller: Ohh, Please?! I'm a single mom, with a thirty year old son!!
Rachel Green: Hi, I'm back. Listen, I need to...
Ticket Agent: Hello.
Rachel Green: Hello. I need to get on the 11 o'clock flight.
Ticket Agent: Oh I'm afraid that plane has already pulled away from the gate.
Rachel Green: Okay, you know what? You're going to have to call that plane and tell them to swing around and come and pick me up.
Ticket Agent: I can't do that.
Rachel Green: Sure, you know what? Come on, we'll just tell them that there was like a problem with like the "engine".
Ticket Agent: I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to step aside, Miss.
Rachel Green: Look, If I don't get to London!! He is going to marry that other girl!!!
Ticket Agent: I can't imagine why.
Rachel Green: All right, you know what? I am not leaving here, until you call that plane back!!
Ross Geller: I'm getting married today!! Whoo-hoo!!
Chandler Bing: Morning, Ross.
Ross Geller: I'm getting married, to..day!!
Chandler Bing: Yeah you are!!
Ross Geller: Ahh, whoo-hoo!!
Monica Geller: Do you think he knew I was here?
Rachel Green: Ohhh.
Passenger: Ahh, ahh, excuse me.
Rachel Green: Yeah?
Passenger: If you're planning on doing that throughout the entire flight. Please tell me now. So that I could that a sedative...or perhaps slip you one.
Rachel Green: Oh. I'm sorry. I'm very sorry. Sorry. It's just, I'm ahh, I'm kinda excited. I'm, ahh, going to London to ahh, tell this guy that I love him and...
Chandler Bing: Well I've-I've never done that with you before.
Monica Geller: Nope.
Chandler Bing: So, ahh, how are ya? How ya...How ya... You okay?
Monica Geller: Yep, yep...You?
Chandler Bing: Yes...Yes..Uh-huh, You? We did you.
Monica Geller: Well...I'd better get going.
Chandler Bing: Oh yea yea, absolutely.
Monica Geller: Could you not look?
Chandler Bing: I don't want to look.
Joey Tribbiani: Hello?
Phoebe Buffay: Hey, were the hell have you been?!
Joey Tribbiani: Hey. I spent the night out. I met this cute bridesmaid. She is so...
Phoebe Buffay: I don't want to hear about her!!
Joey Tribbiani: Ahh Pheebs, you know you're still my number one girl.
Phoebe Buffay: No! No, we have an emergency. Okay? Rachel's coming to London.
Joey Tribbiani: Ohh great!!!
Phoebe Buffay: No it's not great. No, she's coming to tell Ross that she loves him.
Joey Tribbiani: But, he loves Emily?
Phoebe Buffay: I KNOW THAT!!! You have to stop her!! She's going to ruin the wedding!!
Joey Tribbiani: Okay.
Phoebe Buffay: All right, so, okay...
Joey Tribbiani: Hold on. Hold on. Rachel coming. Do...Something.
Phoebe Buffay: Okay, so I'm done my part, okay. It's your responsibility now, okay. The burden is off me, right?
Joey Tribbiani: Right!
Phoebe Buffay: So tell me about this girl?
Rachel Green: ...And so then I realised. All this stuff I had been doing. proposing to Joshua, lying to Ross about why I couldn't come to the wedding. Was all just a way of...
Passenger: Oh, oh oh!! I'm sorry, can I interrupt? You know I just want to say..That you are a horrible, horrible person.
Rachel Green: Ehh, pardon me?
Passenger: You say you love this man, yet you're about to ruin the happiest day of his life. I'm afraid I have to agree with you friend Pheebs.. This is a..this is a...terrible, terrible plan.
Rachel Green: But he has to know how I feel!
Passenger: But why? He loves this...this Emily person. No good can come of this.
Rachel Green: Well I-I think your wrong.
Passenger: Oh-no.
Rachel Green: Well, he doesn't really love her. I mean, it's just a rebound thing from me... You'll see!
Passenger: Fortunately, I won't. And by the way, it seems to be perfectly clear that you were on a break.
Joey Tribbiani: Do something... Something...
Joey Tribbiani: Hey.
Chandler Bing: Hey.
Joey Tribbiani: Have you seen Monica?
Chandler Bing: I'm not seeing Monica.
Joey Tribbiani: What?
Chandler Bing: What?
Joey Tribbiani: Look we've got to find her. Phoebe just called!! Rachel's coming to tell Ross she loves him!!
Chandler Bing: Oh my god!
Joey Tribbiani: I know! That's why we got to find Monica!! You know where she is?
Chandler Bing: No!! Okay!! What's with the third degree?! Why don't you just shine a light in my eyes?!
Judy Geller: Oh my God! It's like a fairyland.
Andrea Waltham: I know, it's horrible isn't it?
Monica Geller: Well, I love it. I only hope my wedding looks this good.
Judy Geller: I just hope...
Monica Geller: You can let some of them go by!
Joey Tribbiani: Pisst, Monica. Alright, we really need to start looking out for Rachel. I'll cover the front door. You watch that big hole at the back of the building and I got Chandler covering Ross.
Monica Geller: Why would I care where Chandler is? You know uhh...You know sometimes I don't even like Chandler.
Joey Tribbiani: Okay.
Ross Geller: I do. I do. I do.
Chandler Bing: Oh yea, your right. It's the second one.
Ross Geller: Really?
Felicity: Hello Joey.
Joey Tribbiani: Hey, Felicity.
Felicity: Umm, I thought about you all day.
Joey Tribbiani: Yeah.
Felicity: Um-hum. Talk New York to me again.
Joey Tribbiani: Fuggetaboutit. How you doin?
Felicity: Mmm.
Joey Tribbiani: Oh, yeah.
Judy Geller: There's nothing to discuss. We're not paying for your wine cellar.
Stephen Waltham: You-you have to meet me in the middle here.
Jack Geller: Hey, you keep pushing me on this, my foots going to meet the middle of your ass.
Ross Geller: Dad!!
Emily Waltham: What-what's going on?!
Ross Geller: Nothing, nothing. Everything's under control.
Stephen Waltham: You want a piece of me, sir? Is that what your saying? You want a piece of me?
Ross Geller: Okay! Okay! That's it!! Parents!! Parents!! Back away!! All right, this is our wedding day! From now on everyone gets along, and if I hear one more word. NO GRANDCHILDREN! That's right!!
Jack Geller: Okay, okay.
Stephen Waltham: Sorry old boy, sorry. Sorry. Sorry. I could kill you with my thumb, you know.
Emily Waltham: What was all that about?
Ross Geller: It was...This disagreement over... My god. You...you look beautiful.
Emily Waltham: Ohh... Oh! You were not meant to see me before the wedding. It's bad luck.
Ross Geller: You know what, I think we've had all the bad luck we're going to have.
Ross Geller: My God. Rachel! Your here. I can't believe it. What happen? Why are you here?
Rachel Green: Well I just came... I just needed to tell you... Congratulations.
Andrea Waltham: Hello, Waltham Interiors.
Phoebe Buffay: Mrs. Waltham. Hi. It's Phoebe again.
Andrea Waltham: Why?!
Phoebe Buffay: Yea. Can I please, please, please talk to one of the best men? This is going to be the last time I promise.
Andrea Waltham: Joey there's a girl on the phone for you.
Joey Tribbiani: Ohh great!! Hello.
Phoebe Buffay: Joey, it's Phoebe. Did you stop Rachel?
Joey Tribbiani: No, but it's okay. She just came in and gave him a hug, that it.
Phoebe Buffay: So nothing got ruined?
Joey Tribbiani: No.
Phoebe Buffay: Oh that's so great! Ohh, so what's going on now?
Joey Tribbiani: Ah, I'm-I'm walking down the aisle...Still walking. I'm about to pass the bridesmaid I hooked up with last night. Hey! I told her "Hey." And now I'm at the front with Ross. It's Phoebe. He looks pretty mad. Uh...I'd better go.
Phoebe Buffay: No!! wait, wait, wait!! Oh please, hold it up so I can listen.
Chandler Bing: What we did last night was...
Monica Geller: Stupid.
Chandler Bing: Totally crazy stupid.
Monica Geller: What were we thinking?
Chandler Bing: I'm coming over tonight though, right?
Monica Geller: Oh yeah. Definitely.
Minister: Friends. Family. We are gathered to celebrate here today the joyous union of Ross and Emily. May the happiness we share with them today be with them always. Now Emily, repeat after me. I, Emily...
Emily Waltham: I, Emily...
Minister: Take thee Ross...
Emily Waltham: Take thee Ross...
Minister: As my lawfully wedded husband, in sickness and in health, till death parts us.
Emily Waltham: As my lawfully wedded husband, in sickness and in health, until death parts us.
Minister: Now Ross, repeat after me. I Ross...
Ross Geller: I Ross...
Minister: Take thee, Emily...
Ross Geller: Take thee, Rachel... Emily. Emily.
Rachel Green: He-he said Rachel, right? Do you think I should go up there?
Minister: Uhh...Shall I go on?
Emily Waltham: Yes, yes, do go on.
Jack Geller: He better go on for what I'm paying.
Stephen Waltham: After what he just said, you're paying for the whole bloody lot.
Minister: I think we'd better start again. Ross, repeat after me. I, Ross...
Ross Geller: I, Ross...
Minister: Take thee, EM-I-LY...
Ross Geller: Take thee, Emily. Like there'd be anybody else.
Minister: As my lawfully wedded wife, in sickness and in health, till death parts us.
Andrea Waltham: Looks like that might come any minute.
Ross Geller: As my lawfully wedded wife, in sickness and in health, until death parts us. Really, I do. Emily.
Minister: May I have the rings? Emily, place this ring on Ross's finger as a symbol of your bond everlasting. Ross, place this ring in Emily's hand as a symbol of the love that encircles you forever.
Ross Geller: Happy to.
Minister: Ross and Emily have made their declarations and it gives me great pleasure to declare them husband and wife.
Ross Geller: Yay!
Minister: You may kiss the bride.
Judy Geller: This is worse than when he married the lesbian.
Emily Waltham: Just keep smiling.
Ross Geller: Okay.
Joey Tribbiani: Well, that went well. Yeah.
Chandler Bing: It could've been worse, he could've shot her.
Ross Geller: That uh, that was pretty funny. Wasn't it?
Emily Waltham: You've spoiled everything! It's like a nightmare! My friends and family are out there! How can I face them?! How can you do this to me?!
Joey Tribbiani: Hey, no matter what happens with Ross and Emily, we still get cake right?
Ross Geller: That-that-that's all right, no honey, you take your time sweetie. I'll be right out here. She's just fixing her makeup.
Emily Waltham: I hate you!!
Ross Geller: And, I love you!!
Jack Geller: Boy, bad time to say the wrong name, huh Ross?
Ross Geller: That's true, thanks dad. People should be dancing! Huh? Hey, this is a party! Come on! Joey, dance!!
Andrea Waltham: Yes, Waltham interiors.
Phoebe Buffay: Uh, hello, this is Ross Geller's personal physician, Dr. Philange.
Andrea Waltham: Who?
Phoebe Buffay: Yeah, I've discovered that Ross forgot to take his brain medicine, uh, now without it, uh, in the brain of Ross, uh women's names are interchangeable, through-through no fault of his own.
Andrea Waltham: Oh my God, Phoebe.
Phoebe Buffay: No, not Phoebe, Dr. Philange. Oh no! You have it too!
Phoebe Buffay: Hello? What kind of bitch hangs up on a doctor!
Chandler Bing: Hey.
Monica Geller: Hey.
Chandler Bing: Oh wow, I hope you don't take this the wrong way but, I know we had plans to meet up tonight and, ugh, I'm just kinda worried about what it might do to our friendship.
Monica Geller: I know. How could we have let this happen?
Chandler Bing: Seven times!
Monica Geller: Ugh! Well, y'know, we were away...
Chandler Bing: In a foreign, romantic country...
Monica Geller: I blame London.
Chandler Bing: Bad London!
Monica Geller: So look umm, while we're st-still in London, I mean, we can keep doing it right?
Chandler Bing: Well, I don't see that we have a choice. But, when we're back home, we don't do it.
Monica Geller: Only here.
Chandler Bing: Y'know, I saw a wine cellar downstairs...
Monica Geller: I'll meet you there in two minutes.
Chandler Bing: Okay!
Rachel Green: Mon, honey, I gotta ask you something.
Monica Geller: Now?
Rachel Green: Ross said my name up there, I mean, come on, I just can't pretend that didn't happen can I?
Monica Geller: Oh, I-I don't know.
Rachel Green: Monica, what should I do?
Monica Geller: Just uh, do the right thing.
Rachel Green: What?
Monica Geller: Toe the line. Thread the needle. Think outside the box!
Rachel Green: Whoa, wait, listen, I think I'm just gonna talk to Ross about what he think it meant.
Monica Geller: Wait. Rachel, no, he's married. Married! If you don't realise that, I can't help you.
Rachel Green: Okay, you're right. You're right. You can't help me.
Judy Geller: Jack, is it all our fault? Were we bad parents?
Stephen Waltham: Yes.
Jack Geller: Oh yeah, well who serves steak when there's no place to sit, I mean how are you supposed to eat this?
Joey Tribbiani: Hey, what's up?
Joey Tribbiani: You and me, next dance?
Andrea Waltham: Sweetheart, sweetheart...
Rachel Green: Yes?
Andrea Waltham: You know, we're all wondering who this Rachel is. Can you point her out to me?
Rachel Green: Oh, you know what? Rachel.. She just left.
Andrea Waltham: Oh.. Never mind. Who are you?
Rachel Green: Ra... Er.. Barbra.
Andrea Waltham: Red Barbra?
Rachel Green: Yeah.
Monica Geller: Where were you? We were supposed to meet in the wine cellar?
Chandler Bing: Forget it, that's off.
Monica Geller: Why?!
Stephen Waltham: The next tour of the wine cellar will plan in two in-in minutes...
Monica Geller: Joey, what are you doing? You promised Phoebe you wouldn't eat meat until she has the babies!
Joey Tribbiani: Well, I figured we're in another country, so it doesn't count.
Monica Geller: That's true.
Chandler Bing: The man's got a point.
Rachel Green: Oh, hi!
Ross Geller: Hi!
Rachel Green: Hi. Sorry, things aren't working out so well.
Ross Geller: Oh no! It could be better, but it's gonna be okay, right?
Rachel Green: Oh yeah! Of course, I mean, she's gonna get over this, y'know? I mean, so you said my name! Y'know you just said it 'cause you saw me there, if you'd have seen a circus freak, you would've said, "I take thee circus freak." Y'know, it didn't mean anything, it's just a mistake. It didn't mean anything. Right?
Ross Geller: No! No! Of course it didn't mean anything! I mean, uh well, I can understand why Emily would think it meant something, y'know, because-because it was you...
Rachel Green: Right...
Ross Geller: But it absolutely didn't. It didn't!! It didn't!!
Joey Tribbiani: Ross, hey, the band's ready outside for your first dance with Emily, so...
Ross Geller: Oh! Oh-oh, the band's ready! Well, I-I-we gotta do what the band says-I don't care about the stupid band!!
Joey Tribbiani: You spit on me man!
Ross Geller: Look, I'm sorry.
Joey Tribbiani: Emily is kinda taking a long time, huh?
Rachel Green: Y'know when I locked myself in the bathroom at my wedding, it was because I was trying to pop the window out of the frame.
Ross Geller: Oh, right!
Rachel Green: Get the hell out of there, y'know?
Ross Geller: Emily? Emily? I'm coming in.
Rachel Green: Well, look at that, same thing.
Chandler Bing: Listen, in the middle of everything if I scream the word, "Yippee!" just ignore me.
Monica Geller: Oh my God, Rachel! Hi!
Chandler Bing: Oh, hello Rachel.
Rachel Green: Ross said my name. Okay? My name.
Monica Geller: How did you get in here?
Rachel Green: If anybody asks, I'm your sister, Joan. Listen. C'mon, you guys. Ross said my name up there that obviously means that he still loves me!
Chandler Bing: Your sister Joan is crazy.
Rachel Green: Y'know what? Fine, I don't care. Don't believe me, I know I'm right-do you guys want to go downstairs and get a drink?
Chandler Bing: Yes, we do. But, we have to change first.
Monica Geller: Yes, I want to change. And why-why don't you go down and get us a table?
Chandler Bing: Yeah, we'll be down in like five minutes.
Monica Geller: Fifteen minutes.
Rachel Green: Okay.
Rachel Green: Hello? Oh, Pheebs! It's Phoebe!
Chandler Bing: Oh, yay...
Monica Geller: Great...
Rachel Green: Hi!
Phoebe Buffay: Hi, so what happened?
Rachel Green: Well, Ross said my name.
Phoebe Buffay: Yeah, I know, but I don't think that means anything.
Rachel Green: Okay, Pheebs, y'know what, let's look at this objectively all right? Ninth grade, right? The obsession starts. All right? The summer after ninth grade he sees me in a two-piece for the first time, his obsession begins to grow. So then...
Chandler Bing: Hey, listen, why don't we go change in my room?
Monica Geller: But my clothes are-ohh!
Chandler Bing: Wow, you look...
Monica Geller: No time for that!
Joey Tribbiani: Hey, dude, let me in. I got a girl out here!
Chandler Bing: Well, I've got a girl in here.
Joey Tribbiani: No you don't, I just saw you go in there with Monica!
Chandler Bing: Well, we're-we're hanging out in here!
Joey Tribbiani: Look, which one of us is gonna be having sex in there, me or you?
Chandler Bing: Well, I suppose I'd have to say you!! But, what if we're watching a movie in here?
Monica Geller: Which we are, and-and we already paid for it. It's My Giant!
Joey Tribbiani: My Giant? I love that movie!
Monica Geller: You really think this is okay?
Chandler Bing: Well, Ross and Emily aren't gonna use it.
Monica Geller: Oh, it's so beautiful. Ohh! Y'know, I-I don't know if I feel right about this.
Chandler Bing: Oh Mon-Mon-Mon-Mon-look, this is the honeymoon suite. The room expects sex. The room would be disappointed if it didn't get sex. All of the other honeymoon suites would think it was a loser.
Monica Geller: Okay!
Chandler Bing: Okay!
Ross Geller: Emily?!
Chandler Bing: Nope, not under here!
Monica Geller: You didn't find her?
Ross Geller: No, I've looked everywhere!
Chandler Bing: Well, you couldn't have looked everywhere or else you would've found her!
Monica Geller: Yeah, I think you should keep looking!
Chandler Bing: Yeah, for about 30 minutes.
Monica Geller: Or 45.
Chandler Bing: Wow, in 45 minutes you can find her twice.
Ross Geller: No! For all I know, she's trying to find me but couldn't because I kept moving around. No, from now on, I'm staying in one place. Right here.
Monica Geller: Well, it's getting late.
Chandler Bing: Yeah, we're gonna go.
Ross Geller: Actually, do you guys mind staying here for a while?
Monica Geller: Ugh, y'know, umm we gotta get up early and catch that plane for New York.
Chandler Bing: Yeah, it's a very large plane.
Ross Geller: That's cool.
Chandler Bing: But, we'll stay here with you.
Ross Geller: Thanks guys! I really appreciate this, y'know, but you don't have to rub my butt.
Chandler Bing: We have to leave for New York in an hour.
Monica Geller: I know, I've been looking at those doors, they look pretty sound proof, don't you think?
Chandler Bing: We can't do that that's insane. I mean 'A' he could wake up and 'B' y'know, let's go for it.
Ross Geller: Em-Emily? Em-Emily? Emily!
Stephen Waltham: No.
Andrea Waltham: You can forget about Emily, she's not with us.
Stephen Waltham: We've come for her things.
Ross Geller: Wait, well wh-wh-wh-where is she?
Stephen Waltham: She's in hiding. She's utterly humiliated. She doesn't want to see you ever again.
Andrea Waltham: We're very sad that it didn't work out between you and Emily, monkey. But, I think you're absolutely delicious.
Stephen Waltham: Excuse me, I'm standing right here!
Andrea Waltham: Oh yes, there you are.
Rachel Green: Hey-hey, you guys oh hurry up, get some, there's a whole cart outside...
Stephen Waltham: Goodbye Geller.
Ross Geller: Now, hold on! Hold on! Look, look, your daughter and I are supposed to leave tonight for our honeymoon, now-now you-you tell her that I'm gonna be at that airport and I hope that she'll be there too! Oh yeah, I said Rachel's name, but it didn't mean anything, Okay? She's-she's just a friend and that's all! That's all! Now just tell Emily that I love her and that I can't imagine spending my life with anyone else. Please, promise me that you'll tell her that.
Stephen Waltham: All right, I'll tell her. Come on bugger face!
Andrea Waltham: Call me.
Stephen Waltham: You spend half your life in the bathroom, why don't you ever go out the bloody window!
Monica Geller: Y'know, maybe it's best that we never got to do it again.
Chandler Bing: Yeah, it kinda makes that-that one night special. Y'know, technically we still are over international waters.
Monica Geller: I'm gonna go to the bathroom, maybe I'll see you there in a bit?
Chandler Bing: 'Kay!
Joey Tribbiani: Can I ask you something?
Chandler Bing: Uhh, no.
Joey Tribbiani: Felicity and I, we're watching My Giant, and I was thinking, "I'm never gonna be as good an actor as that giant." Do you think I'm just wasting my life with this acting thing?
Chandler Bing: No.
Joey Tribbiani: I mean, the giant is like five years younger than me, y'know, you think I'll ever get there?
Chandler Bing: Yes.
Joey Tribbiani: Thanks man.
Chandler Bing: Okay man.
Joey Tribbiani: But what about how much taller he is than me?
Joey Tribbiani: I mean, there's no way I can make myself taller now, y'know? And who knows what science will come up with in the future, but Chandler, what if I die an unsuccessful, regular sized man?
Joey Tribbiani: Hey, Monica, wow you've been in the bathroom for like a half-hour.
Monica Geller: I know!
Joey Tribbiani: Had the beef-tips, huh?
Ross Geller: Rach! Rach!
Rachel Green: Hi!
Ross Geller: Hi! What are you, what are you doing here?
Rachel Green: Well, I-I-I've been on Standby for a flight home for hours.
Ross Geller: Oh.
Rachel Green: Ohh, so no sign of Emily huh?
Ross Geller: Not yet.
Rachel Green: So umm, what time are you supposed to leave?
Gate Agent: This is the last call for Flight 1066 to Athens. The last call.
Ross Geller: Pretty soon I guess.
Rachel Green: Yeah. I'm sorry.
Ross Geller: I just, I don't understand, I mean, how-how can she do this? Y'know, what, am I, am I like a complete idiot for thinking that she'd actually show up?
Rachel Green: No, you're not an idiot, Ross. You're a guy very much in love.
Ross Geller: Same difference.
Gate Agent: All ticketed passengers for Flight 1066 to Athens should now be on board.
Ross Geller: I get it! Well, that's that.
Rachel Green: No, you know what, I think you should go.
Ross Geller: What?
Rachel Green: Yeah, I do. I think you should go, by yourself, get some distance, clear your head, I think it'd be really good.
Ross Geller: Oh, I don't, I don't, I don't know...
Rachel Green: Oh, come on Ross! I think it would be really good for you!
Ross Geller: I could, yeah, I can do that.
Rachel Green: Yeah.
Ross Geller: I can't, I can't even believe her! No, y'know what, I am, I am gonna go!
Rachel Green: Good!
Ross Geller: I know, why not?
Rachel Green: Right!
Ross Geller: Right?
Rachel Green: Right!
Ross Geller: Y'know-thanks!
Rachel Green: Okay, I'll see you back at home, if I ever get a flight out of here.
Ross Geller: Yeah, well...nah.
Rachel Green: What? Wait, what?
Ross Geller: Why don't you come, I mean, I-I have two tickets, why not?
Rachel Green: Well-well, I don't know Ross-really?
Ross Geller: Yeah, yeah, it'll be great! You can, you can lay on the beach and I can cry over my failed marriage. See-see how I make jokes?
Rachel Green: Uh-huh.
Ross Geller: No really, I mean, I mean, God, I could use a friend.
Rachel Green: Oh wow, uh okay, uh maybe. Umm, yes, I can do that!
Ross Geller: Okay!
Rachel Green: Okay!
Ross Geller: Cool!
Rachel Green: All right!
Ross Geller: Come on! Here.
Rachel Green: Oh, okay, we're going. Yeah.
Ross Geller: Ah! Ah! I forgot my jacket!
Rachel Green: Oh, wait-wait-wait...
Ross Geller: You tell them to wait!
Rachel Green: Okay. Wait! Wait!
Ross Geller: Emily.
Ross Geller: Oh no-no-no! Oh-no! No! No! Emily!
Rachel Green: Ahh, yes, I will have a glass of the Merlot
Air Hostess: Okay.
Rachel Green: And uh, he will have a white wine spritzer.
Air Hostess: Okay, good. Thank you. I'll be back shortly, all right?
Rachel Green: All right. Woo! Hey, look at that, the airport's moving. Hey, are we moving?! Are we moving? Why are we moving? They said they were gonna wait! Miss? Yeah, does the captain know that we're moving? Oh my... Ross, you better be under the wheels of this thing!!
Phoebe Buffay: Hey!
Chandler Bing: Hey!
Joey Tribbiani: Hi!
Phoebe Buffay: You ate meat! You had sex!
Chandler Bing: No we didn't!
Phoebe Buffay: I know you didn't, I was talking about Monica.
Monica Geller: Phoebe, I did not have sex.
Phoebe Buffay: This pregnancy is throwing me all off.
Joey Tribbiani: All right, I'm gonna go say hi the chick and the duck.
Phoebe Buffay: Oh, me too!
Joey Tribbiani: Why would you need to say hi to them, you've been feeding them for four days?
Phoebe Buffay: Oh right, maybe I'll just go home.
Monica Geller: Well, we certainly are alone.
Chandler Bing: Yes! Good thing we have that, 'Not in New York' rule.
Monica Geller: Right. Umm, listen since we're-we-re on that subject, umm, I just wanted to tell you that uh, well, I-I was going through a really hard time in London, what with my brother getting married and that guy thinking I was Ross's mother...
Chandler Bing: Right.
Monica Geller: Well, an-anyway, I just-that night meant a lot to me, I guess I'm just trying to say thanks.
Chandler Bing: Oh. Y'know, that night meant a lot to me too, and it wasn't because I was in a bad place or anything, it just meant a lot to me 'cause, you're really hot! Is that okay?
Monica Geller: That's okay.
Chandler Bing: And I'm cute too.
Monica Geller: And you're cute too.
Chandler Bing: Thank you! All right, I gotta go unpack.
Monica Geller: Okay.
Chandler Bing: Bye.
Chandler Bing: I'm still on London time, does that count?
Monica Geller: That counts!
Chandler Bing: Oh, good!


Minister: Friends. Family. We are gathered to celebrate here today the joyous union of Ross and Emily. Now Ross, repeat after me. I Ross...
Ross Geller: I Ross...
Minister: Take thee, Emily...
Ross Geller: Take thee, Rachel... Emily. Emily.
Minister: Uhh...Shall I go on?
Rachel Green: He-he said Rachel, right? Do you think I should go up there?
Emily Waltham: Yes, yes, do go on.
Minister: I think we'd better start again. Ross, repeat after me. I, Ross...
Ross Geller: I, Ross...
Minister: Take thee, EM-I-LY...
Ross Geller: Take thee, Emily. Like there'd be anybody else.
Minister: As my lawfully wedded wife, in sickness and in health, till death parts us.
Ross Geller: As my lawfully wedded wife, in sickness and in health, until death parts us. Really, I do. Emily.
Minister: May I have the rings? Emily, place this ring on Ross's finger as a symbol of your bond everlasting. Ross, place this ring in Emily's hand as a symbol of the love that encircles you forever.
Ross Geller: Happy too.
Minister: Ross and Emily have made their declarations and it gives me great pleasure to declare them husband and wife.
Ross Geller: Yay!
Minister: You may kiss the bride.
Judy Geller: This is worse than when he married the lesbian.
Emily Waltham: Just keep smiling.
Ross Geller: Okay.
Joey Tribbiani: Well, that went well. Yeah.
Chandler Bing: It could've been worse, he could've shot her.
Ross Geller: That uh, that was pretty funny. Wasn't it?
Emily Waltham: You've spoiled everything! It's like a nightmare! My friends and family are out there! How can I face them?! How can you do this to me?!
Joey Tribbiani: Hey, no matter what happens with Ross and Emily, we still get cake right?
Ross Geller: That-that-that's all right, no honey, you take your time sweetie. I'll be right out here. She's just fixing her makeup.
Emily Waltham: I hate you!!
Ross Geller: And, I love you!!
Jack Geller: Boy, bad time to say the wrong name, huh Ross?
Ross Geller: That's true, thanks dad. People should be dancing! Huh? Hey, this is a party! Come on! Joey, dance!!
Andrea Waltham: Yes, Waltham interiors.
Phoebe Buffay: Uh, hello, this is Ross Geller's personal physician, Dr. Philange.
Andrea Waltham: Who?
Phoebe Buffay: Yeah, I've discovered that Ross forgot to take his brain medicine, uh, now without it, uh, in the brain of Ross, uh women's names are interchangeable, through-through no fault of his own.
Andrea Waltham: Oh my God, Phoebe.
Phoebe Buffay: No, not Phoebe, Dr. Philange. Oh no! You have it too!
Phoebe Buffay: Hello?
Chandler Bing: Hey.
Monica Geller: Hey.
Chandler Bing: Oh wow, I hope you don't take this the wrong way but, I know we had plans to meet up tonight and, ugh, I'm just kinda worried about what it might do to our friendship.
Monica Geller: I know. How could we have let this happen?
Chandler Bing: Seven times!
Monica Geller: Ugh! Well, y'know, we were away...
Chandler Bing: In a foreign, romantic country...
Monica Geller: I blame London.
Chandler Bing: Bad London!
Monica Geller: So look umm, while we're st-still in London, I mean, we can keep doing it right?
Chandler Bing: Well, I don't see that we have a choice. But, when we're back home, we don't do it.
Monica Geller: Only here.
Chandler Bing: Y'know, I saw a wine cellar downstairs...
Monica Geller: I'll meet you there in two minutes.
Chandler Bing: Okay!
Rachel Green: Mon, honey, I gotta ask you something.
Monica Geller: Now?
Rachel Green: Ross said my name up there, I mean, come on, I just can't pretend that didn't happen can I?
Monica Geller: Oh, I-I don't know.
Rachel Green: Monica, what should I do?
Monica Geller: Just uh, do the right thing.
Rachel Green: What?
Monica Geller: Toe the line. Thread the needle. Think outside the box!
Rachel Green: Whoa, wait, listen, I think I'm just gonna talk to Ross about what he think it meant.
Monica Geller: Wait. Rachel, no, he's married. Married! If you don't realize that, I can't help you.
Rachel Green: Okay, you're right. You're right. You can't help me.
Judy Geller: Jack, is it all our fault? Were we bad parents?
Stephen Waltham: Yes.
Jack Geller: Oh yeah, well who serves steak when there's no place to sit, I mean how are you supposed to eat this?
Joey Tribbiani: Hey, what's up?
Monica Geller: Where were you? We were supposed to meet in the wine cellar?
Chandler Bing: Forget it, that's off.
Monica Geller: Why?!
Stephen Waltham: The next tour of the wine cellar will plan in two in-in minutes...
Monica Geller: Joey, what are you doing? You promised Phoebe you wouldn't eat meat until she has the babies!
Joey Tribbiani: Well, I figured we're in another country, so it doesn't count.
Monica Geller: That's true.
Chandler Bing: The man's got a point.
Rachel Green: Oh, hi!
Ross Geller: Hi!
Rachel Green: Hi. Sorry, things aren't working out so well.
Ross Geller: Oh no! It could be better, but it's gonna be okay, right?
Rachel Green: Oh yeah! Of course, I mean, she's gonna get over this, y'know? I mean, so you said my name! Y'know you just said it 'cause you saw me there, if you'd have seen a circus freak, you would've said, "I take thee circus freak." Y'know, it didn't mean anything, it's just a mistake. It didn't mean anything. Right?
Ross Geller: No! No! Of course it didn't mean anything! I mean, uh well, I can understand why Emily would think it meant something, y'know, because-because it was you...
Rachel Green: Right...
Ross Geller: But it absolutely didn't. It didn't!! It didn't!!
Joey Tribbiani: Ross, hey, the band's ready outside for your first dance with Emily, so...
Ross Geller: Oh! Oh-oh, the band's ready! Well, I-I-we gotta do what the band says-I don't care about the stupid band!!
Joey Tribbiani: You spit on me man!
Ross Geller: Look, I'm sorry.
Joey Tribbiani: Emily is kinda taking a long time, huh?
Rachel Green: Y'know when I locked myself in the bathroom at my wedding, it was because I was trying to pop the window out of the frame.
Ross Geller: Oh, right!
Rachel Green: Get the hell out of there, y'know?
Ross Geller: Emily? Emily? I'm coming in.
Rachel Green: Well, look at that, same thing.
Chandler Bing: Listen, in the middle of everything if I scream the word, "Yippee!" just ignore me.
Monica Geller: Oh my God, Rachel! Hi!
Chandler Bing: Oh, hello Rachel.
Rachel Green: Ross said my name. Okay? My name. Ross said my name up there that obviously means that he still loves me! Okay, don't believe me, I know I'm right-do you guys want to go downstairs and get a drink?
Chandler Bing: Yes, we do. But, we have to change first.
Monica Geller: Yes, I want to change. And why-why don't you go down and get us a table?
Chandler Bing: Yeah, we'll be down in like five minutes.
Monica Geller: Fifteen minutes.
Rachel Green: Okay.
Rachel Green: Hello? Oh, Pheebs! It's Phoebe!
Chandler Bing: Oh, yay...
Monica Geller: Great...
Rachel Green: Hi!
Phoebe Buffay: Hi, so what happened?
Rachel Green: Well, Ross said my name.
Phoebe Buffay: Yeah, I know, but I don't think that means anything.
Rachel Green: Okay, Pheebs, y'know what, let's look at this objectively all right? Ninth grade, right? The obsession starts. All right? The summer after ninth grade he sees me in a two-piece for the first time, his obsession begins to grow. So then...
Chandler Bing: Hey, listen, why don't we go change in my room?
Monica Geller: But my clothes are-ohh!
Chandler Bing: Wow, you look...
Monica Geller: No time for that!
Joey Tribbiani: Hey, dude, let me in. I got a girl out here!
Chandler Bing: Well, I've got a girl in here.
Joey Tribbiani: No you don't, I just saw you go in there with Monica!
Chandler Bing: Well, we're-we're hanging out in here!
Joey Tribbiani: Look, which one of us is gonna be having sex in there, me or you?
Chandler Bing: Well, I suppose I'd have to say you!! But, what if we're watching a movie in here?
Monica Geller: Which we are, and-and we already paid for it. It's My Giant!
Joey Tribbiani: My Giant? I love that movie!
Monica Geller: You really think this is okay?
Chandler Bing: Well, Ross and Emily aren't gonna use it.
Monica Geller: Oh, it's so beautiful. Ohh! Y'know, I-I don't know if I feel right about this.
Chandler Bing: Oh Mon-Mon-Mon-Mon-look, this is the honeymoon suite. The room expects sex. The room would be disappointed if it didn't get sex. All of the other honeymoon suites would think it was a loser.
Monica Geller: Okay!
Chandler Bing: Okay!
Ross Geller: Emily?!
Chandler Bing: Nope, not under here!
Monica Geller: You didn't find her?
Ross Geller: No, I've looked everywhere!
Chandler Bing: Well, you couldn't have looked everywhere or else you would've found her!
Monica Geller: Yeah, I think you should keep looking!
Chandler Bing: Yeah, for about 30 minutes.
Monica Geller: Or 45.
Chandler Bing: Wow, in 45 minutes you can find her twice.
Ross Geller: No! For all I know, she's trying to find me but couldn't because I kept moving around. No, from now on, I'm staying in one place. Right here.
Monica Geller: Well, it's getting late.
Chandler Bing: Yeah, we're gonna go.
Ross Geller: Actually, do you guys mind staying here for a while?
Monica Geller: Ugh, y'know, umm we gotta get up early and catch that plane for New York.
Chandler Bing: Yeah, it's a very large plane.
Ross Geller: That's cool.
Chandler Bing: But, we'll stay here with you.
Ross Geller: Thanks guys! I really appreciate this, y'know, but you don't have to rub my butt.
Chandler Bing: We have to leave for New York in an hour.
Monica Geller: I know, I've been looking at those doors, they look pretty sound proof, don't you think?
Chandler Bing: We can't do that that's insane. I mean 'A' he could wake up and 'B' y'know, let's go for it.
Ross Geller: Em-Emily? Em-Emily? Emily!
Stephen Waltham: No.
Andrea Waltham: You can forget about Emily, she's not with us.
Stephen Waltham: We've come for her things.
Ross Geller: Wait, well wh-wh-wh-where is she?
Stephen Waltham: She's in hiding. She's utterly humiliated. She doesn't want to see you ever again.
Andrea Waltham: We're very sad that it didn't work out between you and Emily, monkey. But, I think you're absolutely delicious.
Stephen Waltham: Excuse me, I'm standing right here!
Andrea Waltham: Oh yes, there you are.
Rachel Green: Hey-hey, you guys oh hurry up, get some, there's a whole cart outside...
Stephen Waltham: Goodbye Geller.
Ross Geller: Now, hold on! Hold on! Look, look, your daughter and I are supposed to leave tonight for our honeymoon, now-now you-you tell her that I'm gonna be at that airport and I hope that she'll be there too! Oh yeah, I said Rachel's name, but it didn't mean anything, Okay? She's-she's just a friend and that's all! That's all! Now just tell Emily that I love her and that I can't imagine spending my life with anyone else. Please, promise me that you'll tell her that.
Stephen Waltham: All right, I'll tell her. Come on bugger face!
Andrea Waltham: Call me.
Stephen Waltham: You spend half your life in the bathroom, why don't you ever go out the bloody window!
Monica Geller: Y'know, maybe it's best that we never got to do it again.
Chandler Bing: Yeah, it kinda makes that-that one night special. Y'know, technically we still are over international waters.
Monica Geller: I'm gonna go to the bathroom, maybe I'll see you there in a bit?
Chandler Bing: 'Kay!
Joey Tribbiani: Can I ask you something?
Chandler Bing: Uhh, no.
Joey Tribbiani: Felicity and I, we're watching My Giant, and I was thinking, "I'm never gonna be as good an actor as that giant." Do you think I'm just wasting my life with this acting thing?
Chandler Bing: No.
Joey Tribbiani: I mean, the giant is like five years younger than me, y'know, you think I'll ever get there?
Chandler Bing: Yes.
Joey Tribbiani: Thanks man.
Chandler Bing: Okay man.
Joey Tribbiani: But what about how much taller he is than me?
Joey Tribbiani: I mean, there's no way I can make myself taller now, y'know? And who knows what science will come up with in the future, but Chandler, what if I die an unsuccessful, regular sized man?
Joey Tribbiani: Hey, Monica, wow you've been in the bathroom for like a half-hour.
Monica Geller: I know!
Joey Tribbiani: Had the beef-tips, huh?
Phoebe Buffay: Hey!
Chandler Bing: Hey!
Joey Tribbiani: Hi!
Phoebe Buffay: You ate meat! You had sex!
Chandler Bing: No we didn't!
Phoebe Buffay: I know you didn't, I was talking about Monica.
Monica Geller: Phoebe, I did not have sex.
Phoebe Buffay: This pregnancy is throwing me all off.
Joey Tribbiani: All right, I'm gonna go say hi the chick and the duck.
Phoebe Buffay: Oh, me too!
Joey Tribbiani: Why would you need to say hi to them, you've been feeding them for four days?
Phoebe Buffay: Oh right, maybe I'll just go home.
Monica Geller: Well, we certainly are alone.
Chandler Bing: Yes! Good thing we have that, 'Not in New York' rule.
Monica Geller: Right. Umm, listen since we're-we-re on that subject, umm, I just wanted to tell you that uh, well, I-I was going through a really hard time in London, what with my brother getting married and that guy thinking I was Ross's mother...
Chandler Bing: Right.
Monica Geller: Well, an-anyway, I just-that night meant a lot to me, I guess I'm just trying to say thanks.
Chandler Bing: Oh. Y'know, that night meant a lot to me too, and it wasn't because I was in a bad place or anything, it just meant a lot to me 'cause, you're really hot! Is that okay?
Monica Geller: That's okay.
Chandler Bing: And I'm cute too.
Monica Geller: And you're cute too.
Chandler Bing: Thank you! All right, I gotta go unpack.
Monica Geller: Okay.
Chandler Bing: Bye.
Chandler Bing: I'm still on London time, does that count?
Monica Geller: That counts!
Chandler Bing: Oh, good!
Ross Geller: Rach! Rach!
Rachel Green: Hi!
Ross Geller: Hi! What are you, what are you doing here?
Rachel Green: Well, I-I-I've been on Standby for a flight home for hours.
Ross Geller: Oh.
Rachel Green: Ohh, so no sign of Emily huh?
Ross Geller: Not yet.
Rachel Green: So umm, what time are you supposed to leave?
Gate Agent: This is the last call for Flight 1066 to Athens. The last call.
Ross Geller: Pretty soon I guess.
Rachel Green: Yeah. I'm sorry.
Ross Geller: I just, I don't understand, I mean, how-how can she do this? Y'know, what, am I, am I like a complete idiot for thinking that she'd actually show up?
Rachel Green: No, you're not an idiot, Ross. You're a guy very much in love.
Ross Geller: Same difference.
Gate Agent: All ticketed passengers for Flight 1066 to Athens should now be on board.
Ross Geller: I get it! Well, that's that.
Rachel Green: No, you know what, I think you should go.
Ross Geller: What?
Rachel Green: Yeah, I do. I think you should go, by yourself, get some distance, clear your head, I think it'd be really good.
Ross Geller: Oh, I don't, I don't, I don't know...
Rachel Green: Oh, come on Ross! I think it would be really good for you!
Ross Geller: I could, yeah, I can do that.
Rachel Green: Yeah.
Ross Geller: I can't, I can't even believe her! No, y'know what, I am, I am gonna go!
Rachel Green: Good!
Ross Geller: I know, why not?
Rachel Green: Right!
Ross Geller: Right?
Rachel Green: Right!
Ross Geller: Y'know-thanks!
Rachel Green: Okay, I'll see you back at home, if I ever get a flight out of here.
Ross Geller: Yeah, well...nah.
Rachel Green: What? Wait, what?
Ross Geller: Why don't you come, I mean, I-I have two tickets, why not?
Rachel Green: Well-well, I don't know Ross-really?
Ross Geller: Yeah, yeah, it'll be great! You can, you can lay on the beach and I can cry over my failed marriage. See-see how I make jokes?
Rachel Green: Uh-huh.
Ross Geller: No really, I mean, I mean, God, I could use a friend.
Rachel Green: Oh wow, uh okay, uh maybe. Umm, yes, I can do that!
Ross Geller: Okay!
Rachel Green: Okay!
Ross Geller: Cool!
Rachel Green: All right!
Ross Geller: Come on! Here.
Rachel Green: Oh, okay, we're going. Yeah.
Ross Geller: Ah! Ah! I forgot my jacket!
Rachel Green: Oh, wait-wait-wait...
Ross Geller: You tell them to wait!
Rachel Green: Okay. Wait! Wait!
Ross Geller: Emily.
Ross Geller: Oh no-no-no! Oh-no! No! No! Emily!
Rachel Green: Ahh, yes, I will have a glass of the Merlot and uh, he will have a white wine spritzer. Woo! Hey, look at that, the airport's moving. Hey, are we moving?! Are we moving? Why are we moving? Hey, time-out, umm, yeah, does the captain know that we're moving? Oh my God. Oh, my gosh.