Rachel Green: You know, I'm thinking about letting Emma have her first cookie.
Joey Tribbiani: Her first cookie? She has cookies all the time!
Rachel Green: I've never given her a cookie. Have you?
Joey Tribbiani: No! No... and, for the record, I've also never given her a frosting from a can!
Monica Geller: Hey Rach, the adoption agency needs letters of recommendation and we were wondering if you would write one for us.
Rachel Green: Of course, I'd be honored!
Chandler Bing: Thanks!
Monica Geller: Thank you!
Joey Tribbiani: U-U-Um, I think there's been an oversight.
Chandler Bing: Joey, we would've asked you, we just thought you wouldn't be interested.
Monica Geller: Yeah, it's just we don't think of you as really being so much "with the words".
Joey Tribbiani: Whoo-weh hey weh-hey whoo hey!!
Monica Geller: Clearly we were wrong.
Joey Tribbiani: I gotta a lot of nice stuff to say about you guys, ok? And I know how much you wanna have a baby, you know, and I would love to help you get one.
Monica Geller: You know what? Then, Joey, we want you to do it.
Joey Tribbiani: Thank you! Alright, let me see how I'm gonna start... "Dear baby adoption decider people..."
Chandler Bing: So excited about your letter!
Phoebe Buffay: Hey!
Everyone: Hey Phoebe!
Joey Tribbiani: Hey!
Monica Geller: Wow! Don't you look nice?!
Phoebe Buffay: Yes, I do! Today is Mike and my one-year anniversary.
Rachel Green: OH! What's it the anniversary of? Your first date, your first kiss, first time you had sex...
Phoebe Buffay: YEAH!
Chandler Bing: So you must be going to somewhere fancy to celebrate?
Phoebe Buffay: Uh-uh. Ehm, a Knicks game.
Joey Tribbiani: Uhm... Aren't you a little overdressed?
Phoebe Buffay: Hey, you know what, I've never had a one-year anniversary before, so no matter where we go, I'm wearing something fancy pants, and... I'm gonna put on my finest jewelry and we're gonna have sex in a public rest room.
Monica Geller: You guys do that? Chandler won't even have sex in our bathroom!
Chandler Bing: That's where people make number two!!
Charlie Wheeler: Hey!
Ross Geller: Hey...
Charlie Wheeler: So, you know... I have a little time. If you... if you want to...
Ross Geller: Oh... Ohh... I'd love to but I really have to grade these papers.
Charlie Wheeler: Fine, it's fine... I'll just shower by myself...
Ross Geller: B, B, B, B, B!
Charlie Wheeler: Oh, Ross, you gave a B to a Pottery Barn catalogue.
Ross Geller: Well, it had some good ideas, take off your shirt.
Ross Geller: Damnit!
Amy Green: Rachel!! Open up!! It's your sister!! I have to talk to you!!
Ross Geller: Hi Amy!
Amy Green: You're not Rachel.
Ross Geller: Still sharp as a tack!
Amy Green: Um... Charlie, this is Rachel's sister Amy. Amy, this is Charlie.
Charlie Wheeler: Hi!
Amy Green: Hi!
Charlie Wheeler: Nice to meet you.
Amy Green: H-Hi!! And you are...?
Ross Geller: Ross? I... I grew up on your block! We had Thanksgiving together last year... I had a baby with your sister!
Amy Green: N-no... uhm... did I buy a falafel from you yesterday?
Ross Geller: Yes, yes, you did.
Ross Geller: Hi Rachel! Here's your sister Amy! She thinks I need pec implants!
Rachel Green: Amy! Hi! Oh-oh-hoh! Wow! You remember Joey?
Amy Green: Yeah! Hey, sure! The "Days of Our Lives" guy!
Joey Tribbiani: That's right, yeah.
Amy Green: You're not good!
Joey Tribbiani: Always nice to meet a fan!
Rachel Green: So now, what are you doing here?
Amy Green: Well, I have huge news.
Rachel Green: Oh sorry, hold on. Let me just check on the baby!
Amy Green: Wait, this is important! Can Ella wait?
Ross Geller: Ehm... Her name is Emma.
Amy Green: Why did you change it, Ella was so much prettier!
Ross Geller: What do I know? I just sell Middle Eastern food from a cart!
Amy Green: Hey, your English is getting better!!
Ross Geller: Oh my God!
Joey Tribbiani: I know, she may be the hottest girl I've ever hated.
Ross Geller: What... what you working on?
Joey Tribbiani: Oh, Monica and Chandler's recommendation. I want it to sound smart but.. I don't know any big words or anything, so...
Ross Geller: Why don't you use your Thesaurus?
Joey Tribbiani: What did I just say?
Ross Geller: Watch. Here, you ehm... You highlight the word you want to change. Go under Tools and the Thesaurus generates... 'gives'... 'gives' a whole list of choices. You can pick the word that sounds smartest.
Joey Tribbiani: Oh my God, that's great! I'm smart!! No, no, I'm... "brainy, bright, clever", I love this thing! Look out ladies, Joey Tribbiani's got the whole package!!
Rachel Green: God!
Amy Green: So beautiful.
Rachel Green: Oh, I know, isn't she?
Amy Green: No, I was talking about your bedding.
Rachel Green: All right. What's your news, Amy?
Amy Green: Oh! Um... Well... I'm getting married.
Rachel Green: What? Oh my God! To who?
Amy Green: This guy! He has a killer apartment.
Rachel Green: A-And??
Amy Green: A-And it's on Fifth. And the elevator opens up right into the living room.
Rachel Green: No, what's he like?
Amy Green: Oh! He's ok. Do you remember my old boyfriend Mark?
Rachel Green: Yeah.
Amy Green: It's his dad.
Rachel Green: Huh... wow, so he's gotta be...
Amy Green: Old? Yeah! But he travels a lot, so he's hardly ever there.
Rachel Green: Sweety, I gotta tell ya... it sounds a little bit like you like the apartment more than you like...
Amy Green: Myron. Hmm... I told you he was old!
Rachel Green: Oh... sit down, sit down. Oh, honey, you know, I once also almost married somebody that I didn't love. Do you remember Barry?
Amy Green: Humpf, remember him? How we used to make out all the time after you went to sleep.
Rachel Green: Sometimes just nodding is ok. Uhm, so but anyway, listen, not marrying Barry was the best decision that I ever, ever made. Honey, you deserve true love. Your soulmate is out there, somewhere. Someone that is your age, that is smart, that is fun and that you care about!
Amy Green: You're right, you're right! I'm gonna do it!
Rachel Green: Ok.
Amy Green: I'm gonna marry Myron and keep looking for Mr Right.
Rachel Green: Ok, let's keep talking.
Phoebe Buffay: Excuse me, anniversary. Excuse me, anniversary. . Uhm, sir, could you move your nachos... they're in my seat. It's my anniversary. Here we are! . Can't believe it's been a whole year!
Mike Hannigan: I know. This has been the best year... THIS HAS BEEN THE BEST YEAR OF MY LIFE!
Phoebe Buffay: ME TOO! I NEVER THOUGHT I COULD LOVE SOMEONE THIS MUCH!
Mike Hannigan: I FEEL THE SAME WAY!
Phoebe Buffay: YOU'RE SO GENEROUS AND KIND AND YOU'RE AMAZING IN BED IT'S OUR ANNIVERSARY!
Announcer: Knicks fans, please turn your attention to the big screen on the score board. Someone has a special question to ask.
Phoebe Buffay: Oh how lame... oh, it's so tacky, and impersonal.
Mike Hannigan: Really?
Phoebe Buffay: Oh, it's the worst way to propose!
Mike Hannigan: Excuse me... .
Joey Tribbiani: Hey, finished my recommendation. Here. And I think you'll be very, very happy. It's the longest I ever spent on a computer without looking at porn.
Chandler Bing: I don't... uh... understand.
Joey Tribbiani: Some of the words are a little too sophisticated for ya?
Monica Geller: It doesn't make any sense.
Joey Tribbiani: Of course it does! It's smart! I used the the-saurus!
Chandler Bing: On every word?
Joey Tribbiani: Yep!
Monica Geller: Alright, what was this sentence originally?
Joey Tribbiani: Oh, 'They are warm, nice, people with big hearts'.
Chandler Bing: And that became 'they are humid prepossessing Homo Sapiens with full sized aortic pumps...?
Joey Tribbiani: Yeah, yeah and hey, I really mean it, dude.
Monica Geller: Hey Joey, I don't think we can use this.
Joey Tribbiani: Why not?
Monica Geller: Well, because you signed it baby kangaroo Tribbiani . Hey, why don't you stop worrying about sounding smart and just be yourself!
Chandler Bing: You know what? You don't need a thesaurus, just write from here, your full sized aortic pump.
Rachel Green: Amy, hi!
Amy Green: I took your advice, I left Myron.
Rachel Green: Oh, good for you!
Amy Green: I know! I'm Erin Brockovich!
Rachel Green: Yes you are! Oh, I am so proud of you!
Amy Green: Thank you! So, can I stay with you?
Rachel Green: But Erin Brockovich had her own house.
Joey Tribbiani: Ah, look who's back! Why do you have bags? RACH, WHY DOES SHE HAVE BAGS?
Amy Green: Well, I'm staying with you guys!
Joey Tribbiani: What?
Amy Green: We're gonna be roomies! Come on!
Joey Tribbiani: You slept out here?
Rachel Green: Yeah... Amy kept kicking me in her sleep yelling 'Myron, get off!'
Joey Tribbiani: But uhm, we're getting rid of her, right? Rach, please tell me we're getting rid of her.
Rachel Green: Joey, I can't do that!
Joey Tribbiani: Oh, come on! Last night I was finishing off a pizza and she said "Uoh oh oh, a moment on the lips, forever on the hips!" I don't need that kind of talk in my house!
Rachel Green: Well Joey, uhm look, I know that she's difficult, but I think it's really good that she's here.
Joey Tribbiani: 'Cause we will appreciate it more when she's gone?
Rachel Green: No, it's just... look, you know, when I first moved to the city I was a lot like her! I was spoiled, self-centered and you guys really took care of me.
Joey Tribbiani: Yeah, Monica made us!
Rachel Green: Well, uhm... whatever, I have really appreciated it, 'cause I don't think I would be the person that I am today if it wasn't for you guys. See, I wanna help Amy the way you guys helped me. And I know it's gonna take patience, but that's ok.
Amy Green: Good morning.
Joey Tribbiani: Yeaah.
Rachel Green: Amy, that's what I was supposed to wear today, that's why I hung it on the door.
Amy Green: Oh, sweety, you can't pull this off.
Rachel Green: Amy, you know what? I was thinking that maybe now it'd be a good time for us to sit down and, you know, talk about your future.
Amy Green: Oh, I can't, honey. I'm gonna go get my eyebrows shaped. I am not happy. Oh... sure you wanna eat that?
Joey Tribbiani: I'M CURVY, AND I LIKE IT!
Phoebe Buffay: Hi. I just had the worst anniversary ever.
Chandler Bing: I doubt that! Tell her about us last year.
Monica Geller: Oh, well, I bought Chandler a five hundred dollar watch and he wrote me a rap song.
Ross Geller: Seriously?
Chandler Bing: Word!
Phoebe Buffay: Well, mine was worse than that.
Rachel Green: Well, what happened?
Phoebe Buffay: We were at the game, and this guy proposed to his girlfriend on the big screen thing...
Rachel Green: Oh, that is so tacky.
Phoebe Buffay: Well, that's what I said, but it turns out, Mike was planning on proposing to me that same way last night!
Monica Geller: Oh my God, Mike was gonna propose?
Rachel Green: Phoebe, that's huge!
Ross Geller: Well, do you wanna marry him?
Phoebe Buffay: Yeah, I really do! Yes, but, after I dumped on the way he was gonna propose to me, I don't think he's ever gonna ask again! I mean, I said no in Barbados and now this!
Chandler Bing: She's right! If I were a guy and... Did I just say if I were a guy..?
Monica Geller: Maybe you don't need him to propose to you, maybe you can propose to him!
Phoebe Buffay: Oh, I don't know, I don't know, isn't that a little desperate?
Monica Geller: I proposed to Chandler! Alright, moving on...
Chandler Bing: Oh, I don't think it was desperate, I think it was amazing!
Monica Geller: Thank you.
Phoebe Buffay: Well, do you think I should propose?
Rachel Green: I think it could be kind of great!
Ross Geller: Absolutely! You'll love the feeling! There's nothing like it!
Phoebe Buffay: Ok, ok, so how should I do it?
Monica Geller: How about at a game, on the big screen?
Rachel Green: Uuuh!! How about at a Footlocker?
Monica Geller: What? what? He obviously thinks that's a nice way to be proposed to, plus he'd never suspect it!
Phoebe Buffay: Yeah, that does make sense. Ok, now, would... would you two like that?
Chandler Bing: Sounds good to me... but what would a guy think?
Amy Green: Nana is on the phone.
Rachel Green: Oh! That's interesting, since she died seven years ago!!
Amy Green: She did? Who got her condo in Boca?
Rachel Green: Hello? Oh, it's our nanny! Hi! Oh... God! I hope you feel better! Ok, bye! That's Molly, she's sick. Can you watch Emma today?
Ross Geller: No, I can't. I have back-to-back classes. Did Molly say what she had? Because my throat's been hurting?
Rachel Green: Menstrual cramps.
Ross Geller: I don't think that's what this is.
Rachel Green: Can any of you watch Emma?
Monica Geller: No, sorry sweety..
Phoebe Buffay: No, I've got work and then I'm proposing..
Rachel Green: Great, shoot, what are we gonna do?
Amy Green: Well, I can do it.
Rachel Green: Well, actually...
Ross Geller: Well, can I talk to you for a sec.?
Rachel Green: Yeah.
Ross Geller: Um, I do not want her baby-sitting our child.
Rachel Green: Why not?
Ross Geller: Well, for one thing, she keeps calling her Ella!
Rachel Green: Wha.. well, Ella's a nice name!
Ross Geller: Fine, we'll call the next one Ella.
Rachel Green: Wha... the next one?
Ross Geller: Okay, um... I don't want her watching our baby.
Rachel Green: Ross, I am trying to help her become a better person. This is a huge breakthrough for her! She just offered to do something for another human being!!
Ross Geller: I... I don't know..
Rachel Green: Ross, I'm telling you, she's giving up getting her eyebrows shaped to do this alright? Do you understand how important that is in our world?
Amy Green: um... listen, I couldn't help but overhear... 'cause I was trying to... Listen, let me do this alright? I really wanna help you guys out, and plus Rachel's been so wonderful to me...
Rachel Green: Absolutely.
Amy Green: Oh! Great! So how much does it pay?
Chandler Bing: Hey Joe! How's the second draft of the letter coming?
Joey Tribbiani: Great, I'm finished! In fact, I just dropped it off at the agency.
Monica Geller: You dropped it off?
Joey Tribbiani: Yeah.
Chandler Bing: Can we read it? Can you print out another copy?
Joey Tribbiani: No can do amigo. No, I didn't use the computer. Felt more personal to hand-write it.
Monica Geller: You hand-wrote it?
Joey Tribbiani: Yeah, and don't worry. I didn't try to sound smart at all! See ya later!
Monica Geller: Oh my God, oh my God, that letter is gonna go in our file! We're never gonna get a kid. No, we're gonna be one of those old couples that collects orchids or has a lot of birds!
Chandler Bing: It's ok, it's ok. You know what? I'll just call the agency and tell them to throw out the letter.
Monica Geller: Okay good.
Chandler Bing: Hello, this is Chandler Bing. Somebody just dropped off a handwritten recommendation letter, and.. Uh-huh... Uh-huh... okay... thank you. Good-bye. .
Monica Geller: Ugh, we're screwed, aren't we? You know what? Just tell me on the way to the bird store.
Chandler Bing: They loved it.
Monica Geller: What?
Chandler Bing: They thought it was very smart of us to have a child write the recommendation letter.
Monica Geller: They thought Joey was a child?
Chandler Bing: She guessed 8, 9, based on his drawings.
Amy Green: Hi!
Monica Geller: Hey, what did you guys do today?
Amy Green: Ella wanted to go out, so we went shopping and got some sushi.
Chandler Bing: That sounds like fun.
Amy Green: Yeah, not really. Babies are dull.
Rachel Green: Hey! Hi, how's my girl?
Amy Green: I'm fine! And, I got you a present for letting me stay with you. Ready?
Rachel Green: Yeah!
Amy Green: Ta-daaa!
Rachel Green: You pierced her ears!?
Amy Green: Doesn't it make her nose look smaller?
Rachel Green: You pierced her ears? How could you do this without telling me?
Amy Green: Well, if I had told you, then it wouldn't have been surprise, now would it?
Chandler Bing: I think she looks cute. ... but I am wrong!
Rachel Green: Oh my God, Oh my God, here comes Ross. He's gonna flip out.
Amy Green: Why, did something happen to his falafel cart?
Rachel Green: Ugh.
Ross Geller: Hey guys.
Ross Geller: Hey Emma. Oh, why is she wearing her hat so low? She can barely see. .
Rachel Green: Nah, I don't really want her to see.
Ross Geller: Why not?
Monica Geller: Because there are so many terrible sights in this world.
Chandler Bing: Like war. Or that thing in Joey's refrigerator. Remember? It was in a milk carton but it looked like meat?
Ross Geller: Come here Oh! There she is! Hi!
Ross Geller: What?
Rachel Green: Nothing.
Ross Geller: Hi! What... . Please tell me those are clip-ons.
Rachel Green: Oh, they're real!
Ross Geller: Did she do this to her? I told you we shouldn't have left Emma with her!
Rachel Green: I know, I know, and you were right Ross. You are soo irresponsible I am never letting you baby-sit ever again!
Amy Green: Hey you know what, this kid needs me, okay? She needs to have a cool fun aunt!
Monica Geller: I'm a cool, fun aunt!
Amy Green: O-Okay!
Chandler Bing: Hey! Monica can be cool and fun at organized indoor projects!
Rachel Green: I can't believe this. All I wanted to do was help you try to figure out what to do with your life and this is how you repay me?
Amy Green: Well, I don't need you to help me, because I already know what I'm going to do with my life.
Rachel Green: Oh yeah? Since when?
Amy Green: Since today... I am going to be a baby stylist.
Rachel Green: What?
Ross Geller: That's not a thing!
Amy Green: Well, it should be. I'm gonna help babies learn how to accessorize, what colors to wear, what clothes are slimming...
Rachel Green: Babies don't care if they're slim.
Amy Green: Enter Amy!
Ross Geller: Amy, I ju... I just... I just wanna...
Amy Green: What? What are you gonna do?
Ross Geller: No more falafel for you!
Mike Hannigan: Great game, huh?
Phoebe Buffay: Uhuh, uhuh...
Mike Hannigan: Why do you keep looking at the screen?
Phoebe Buffay: I'm not. I'm praying. Please let the Knicks win... Thank you Thor! Where... where are you going?
Mike Hannigan: Going go to the bathroom.
Phoebe Buffay: Well, I think you should wait.
Mike Hannigan: Why?
Phoebe Buffay: Well, if you don't... if you don't hold it in, you don't get all the nutrients.
Announcer: Knicks fans, please turn your attention to the big screen on the scoreboard. Someone has a special question to ask.
Phoebe Buffay: Mike Hannigan... will you marry me?
Announcer: Get a load of this... She's proposing to him. Guess we know who wears the pants in that family.
Phoebe Buffay: That's not very enlightened!
Phoebe Buffay: Hey, hey! Boo us? Boo you!
Joey Tribbiani: Hello? Yeah, this is Joey Tribbiani... Oh, hi! Well, I'm glad you liked my letter... No my mommy and daddy aren't home right now... Okay, bye bye. She was nice!
Rachel Green: Joey, get Amy's bags, she is moving out!
Joey Tribbiani: Whoo-hoo!
Amy Green: You're kicking me out?
Rachel Green: You put holes in my baby's ears!
Amy Green: Yeah well, at least now people will know she is a girl!
Rachel Green: I can't believe I ever even tried to help you. You are so beyond help.
Amy Green: You know what? Ever since I got here, you have been nothing but negative.
Rachel Green: Excuse me?
Amy Green: You didn't want me to marry the old guy with the great apartment. Then, I tried to help your daughter to de-emphasize her flaws And suddenly I am the bad guy?
Rachel Green: Joey, where are those bags?
Joey Tribbiani: She has a lot of crap!
Amy Green: You know what? When I moved in here I thought: This is gonna be so great. Just us sisters, back together again like when we were kids, except without that stupid Jill... Oh! Who has gotten fat by the way...
Rachel Green: Seriously?
Amy Green: hm-mmm... Mom said she gained like fifteen pounds.
Rachel Green: Hips or thighs?
Amy Green: Ass and face.
Rachel Green: Oh! Oh my God! I thought she was on Atkins.
Amy Green: She was. Carbs found her... See, this is what I wanted. Two sisters, talking about real stuff.
Rachel Green: Oh, I can give you that.
Amy Green: You can?
Rachel Green: Yeah. I just, I kept trying to make you a better person, but you're... you're already a pretty perfect version of what you are.
Amy Green: Thank you. I've got to admit, Emma does look cute.
Rachel Green: Did you just say Emma?
Amy Green: Ugh, I'm sorry... Ella.
Phoebe Buffay: That woman at the game didn't know what she was talking about. Mike, obviously you have balls.
Mike Hannigan: But please, let's just forget the whole thing.
Phoebe Buffay: I would love it. Consider it forgotten... But just so you know... however and whenever you decide to propose, I promise I'll say yes. Whether... whether, you know, it is in a basketball game, or in sky writing, or you know, like some lame guy in a cheesy movie who hides it in the cake.
Phoebe Buffay: It's in the cake, isn't it?
Mike Hannigan: Where else would lame Mr. No Balls hide it?
Phoebe Buffay: What's the matter with me? How do I keep ruining this? I'm sorry, I'm sorry!
Mike Hannigan: No! It's my fault. I keep trying to propose in these stupid ways and all I wanna do is tell you that I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.
Mike Hannigan: I'm gonna do this now.
Phoebe Buffay: Oh my God!
Mike Hannigan: Phoebe, I...
Phoebe Buffay: Wait! Oh wait! Oh no!
Mike Hannigan: Ready?
Phoebe Buffay: Uh-huh!
Mike Hannigan: Phoebe, I love you. There's no-one else in the world I would ask to marry me... three times. But I wanna take care of you, have babies with you, and grow old with you... Phoebe Buffay, will you marry me?
Phoebe Buffay: Yes!
Mike Hannigan: I love you!
Phoebe Buffay: I love you more!
Mike Hannigan: Not possible! She's gonna be Mrs. No Balls.
Rachel Green: So how is the uhm... baby styling business going?
Amy Green: Not that great. It's almost if people don't want to hear that their babies are ugly.
Rachel Green: That's shocking!
Amy Green: Oh! It's Ross... Hey Ross! Hello-oo Ross! He's rude!


Phoebe Buffay: Hey...
Everyone: Hey!
Rachel Green: Hi!
Ross Geller: Pheebs, what's wrong?
Phoebe Buffay: Oh, I'm just so exhausted from dragging around this... HUGE engagement ring!
Everyone: OH!
Rachel Green: My God!
Joey Tribbiani: Hey!
Rachel Green: Congratulations! Wow!!
Ross Geller: So, did he get on one knee, did he have a speech prepared, or did he cry? Yeah, big surprise, I like proposals!
Phoebe Buffay: Well, it was really sweet, and like the most romantic thing ever.
Joey Tribbiani: Well, hey! Well... Here's to Phoebe, who's found the greatest guy in the world! To Phoebe and... I wanna say Mike? To Phoebe and Mike!
Everyone: Whoo!
Phoebe Buffay: Thank you! Oh, and I have something for you!
Rachel Green: Mmh-mmh!
Phoebe Buffay: It's, yes, my little black book. It's got the numbers of all the guys I've dated.
Rachel Green: Oh, Pheebs, baby, that's nice but, you know what, I think I'm ok. Why don't you give it to one of your other single girlfriends?
Phoebe Buffay: I would, but you're the last one.
Rachel Green: GIVE ME THE BOOK! Pablo Diaz, Brady Smith, huh, "Guy-in-van"?
Phoebe Buffay: Oh, my first love!
Rachel Green: Oh!
Monica Geller: What does the red X next to Bob Greenmore's name mean?
Phoebe Buffay: Dead. Oh, it's OK, no, he was old, yeah! And he lived a full life, he was in the first wave at Omaha Beach.
Chandler Bing: Hey, I'm sorry, I should have given you guys my black book when I got married! Although it wasn't so much a book as a... napkin. With Janice's phone number on it.
Rachel Green: Phoebe, isn't Jethro Tull a band?
Phoebe Buffay: Oh yes, they are.
Chandler Bing: Hey honey!
Joey Tribbiani: Hi sweetie!
Chandler Bing: Is Monica not here?
Joey Tribbiani: No.
Chandler Bing: Oh, then I'll tell you. My agency was bidding for a big account and they got it! It's my first national commercial!
Joey Tribbiani: Cool!
Chandler Bing: Yeah, and I don't wanna brag but a lot of the ideas were mine! Hell, you weren't there? All the ideas were mine!!!
Joey Tribbiani: That's great! Hey, can you cast me in it?
Chandler Bing: Oh... I don't know, I really don't think you're right for the part.
Joey Tribbiani: What do you mean? I can do anything, I'm a chameleon! Huh? I'm old! I'm tired! Hey, I'm hot I'm cold!! Huh?? Come on! What can't I do?
Chandler Bing: First of all. Bravo. Uh, but I really don't think you're right for this. The part calls for a stuffy college professor.
Joey Tribbiani: I can do that! "Hello, I'm your professor. When I'm not busy thinking of important things or... professing. I like to use..." Oh, what's the product?
Chandler Bing: Software that facilitates inter-business networking e-solutions?
Joey Tribbiani: I'm cold!
Ross Geller: Hey!
Charlie Wheeler: Hey!
Ross Geller: Guess who's a finalist for a huge research grant! I'll give you a hint, he's looking right at you.
Charlie Wheeler: Ah, well, unless it's the creepy guy with his hand up his kilt, I'm gonna say congratulations!
Ross Geller: Oh, I'm so excited, I mean, apparently I beat out hundreds of other applicants, included five guys I went to graduate school with. Not that I'm keeping score or anything... five!
Charlie Wheeler: Wow, that's great! So, tell me about the grant!
Ross Geller: Well, ok, it's for 25 thousand dollars. And if I get it, I'll finally be able to complete my field research! And there will be an article about me in the "Paleontology Review"! Yeah! That'll be the first time my name is in there, without people raising serious questions about my work!
Charlie Wheeler: Wait. Are you talking about the Dewar grant?
Ross Geller: Yeah. Why?
Charlie Wheeler: Benjamin Hobart is administering that grant.
Ross Geller: Your ex-boyfriend?
Charlie Wheeler: Yeah.
Ross Geller: So, your ex-boyfriend is gonna determine if your new boyfriend gets this grant? Wow, your new boyfriend is screwed!
Charlie Wheeler: No, no, we ended up in great terms. I mean, if anything, I think this could help you. You know what? Why don't we all go out to dinner together, and I can introduce you.
Ross Geller: Well, if you think it would help.
Charlie Wheeler: Yes, absolutely. I'll call him.
Ross Geller: Ok, now, is there anything I can do to... you know, butter him up? Anything he really likes?
Charlie Wheeler: Mmh... he does have a pretty serious latex fetish.
Ross Geller: We'll see how dinner goes.
Phoebe Buffay: Hey!
Monica Geller: Hey, you wanna go to see a movie?
Phoebe Buffay: Well, I told you I had to spend all the day clearing out stuff, so Mike could move in.
Monica Geller: Oh, right.
Phoebe Buffay: Yeah.
Monica Geller: Oh, well. Now that I'm here I might as well help you with the cleaning and organizing! Just happen to have my label maker!
Phoebe Buffay: Oh, it's so hard to get rid of stuff! Did you and Chandler have to make compromises when you first moved in together?
Monica Geller: Uh, Chandler did! What does he want you to give up?
Phoebe Buffay: A bunch of stuff. And the worst one... he wants me to get rid of Gladys.
Monica Geller: Who's Gladys? Oh! What a tragic loss!
Phoebe Buffay: Yeah. I really hate to give her up. Oh, I know!! Oh, you should take her!
Monica Geller: Well, I-I-I-I... I don't know...
Phoebe Buffay: Why, you don't like her?
Monica Geller: Well, of course I do. What's not to like! I'll take her in a minute! But, you know, I think that you're giving up too easy, honey. I think that you need to fight for her!
Phoebe Buffay: Really? You think?
Monica Geller: Absolutely! Yes, you say to him "I'm sorry Mike I can't live without her, she means too much to me!"
Phoebe Buffay: Ok, I'll fight for her. Ok! Oh, wait, oh I just realized... if I do that, that means you don't get her.
Monica Geller: Damn it, I did not think this through!
Chandler Bing: Hey you guys.
Rachel Green: Hi!
Joey Tribbiani: Oh! Any word on casting yet?
Chandler Bing: Joe, I told you, you're just not right for the part.
Joey Tribbiani: What do you mean? Rach, don't I seem like a professor you'd buy some kind of e-crap from?
Rachel Green: I'm sorry, this sounds like something I'm never gonna be interested in.
Joey Tribbiani: Look, c'mon, please? It's not like I'm asking for some crazy favour. This is what I do for a living. I am a professional actor! Oh, man, I'm two hours late for work! . Look, here's a copy of my reels. It's got all the commercials that I've been in.
Chandler Bing: Joe...
Joey Tribbiani: Just watch it, and if you don't like it, you don't pass it on to your bosses!
Chandler Bing: Fine!
Joey Tribbiani: Thank you.
Chandler Bing: Work, Joe!
Joey Tribbiani: Damn it!
Chandler Bing: What am I gonna do now?
Joey Tribbiani: Just pass it to your boss!
Chandler Bing: He's not right for the part. So if I suggest him, my bosses are gonna think I'm an idiot! And that's something they should learn on their own!
Rachel Green: Just tell Joey that you watched the tape and you liked it, but your bosses didn't. Then that way, you're the good guy and they're the bad guys.
Chandler Bing: That's good! I liked it, they didn't. Joey, for God's sake, go to work! .
Ross Geller: I can't believe I'm about to meet Benjamin Hobart. I've always thought of him as one of the people I'd invite to my fantasy dinner party. Do you think there's any chance he'll bring Christie Brinkley or C3PO?
Charlie Wheeler: Sorry, looks like it's just him.
Benjamin Hobart: Charlie! My God, you look absolutely stunning!
Ross Geller: Well, I... I am having a good hair day.
Benjamin Hobart: So good to see you.
Charlie Wheeler: Me too.
Ross Geller: I'm ok.
Charlie Wheeler: I'm sorry... Ross Geller... Benjamin Hobart.
Ross Geller: It's an honor to meet you. I can't tell you how long I've been an admirer of your work, I mean, that Nobel prize, whoooo! I mean, I have to tell you that, you're one of the reasons I got into the field.
Benjamin Hobart: Oh, well, likewise. Actually, not likewise. I've never heard of you until this morning, but, it's nice to be nice!
Charlie Wheeler: Shall we? .
Benjamin Hobart: Thank you! . I can't believe that you chose this restaurant! Do you remember the night?
Charlie Wheeler: Oh my God, I completely forgot! Oh my God! I can't believe they let us back in this place! .
Benjamin Hobart: You weren't there!
Ross Geller: No, but, it's, you know, it's just a funny image, you know, the two of you, in this restaurant, with... tzz-zzz, mmm.
Charlie Wheeler: Ross, why don't you tell Benji about your proposal, while I go to the ladies room?
Benjamin Hobart: So, tell me about it.
Ross Geller: Ok well, I would like to do a dig in the painted desert.
Benjamin Hobart: M-m.
Ross Geller: See, there are still several areas that haven't been fully excavated.
Benjamin Hobart: Break up with Charlie!
Ross Geller: What?
Benjamin Hobart: What?
Ross Geller: Did you just say "break up with Charlie"?
Benjamin Hobart: Well, yes, and now. Yes I did say it, and no, I didn't not say it.
Ross Geller: Kind of inappropriate, don't you think?
Benjamin Hobart: I'm sorry. I just haven't seen her for so long! All these feelings are rushing back! I'm starting to realize how much I missed her, and I'm gonna need you to break up with her.
Ross Geller: Are you serious?
Benjamin Hobart: If you say yes then I'm serious, if you say no then I'm joking!
Ross Geller: No!
Benjamin Hobart: Joking it is!
Phoebe Buffay: Hi! Sorry, I'm late.
Monica Geller: Hey, how did it go with Mike, is he gonna let you keep the painting?
Phoebe Buffay: No, he really hates it. But he's gonna let me keep my box of human hair! So you got to pick your battles. But the good news is, Gladys is yours!
Monica Geller: Wow, what's the bad news!
Rachel Green: Who's Gladys?
Phoebe Buffay: Oh, she's that work of art I made, you know, with the woman coming out of the frame.
Rachel Green: Oh, and Monica gets to keep her? In her house? I am so jealous!
Phoebe Buffay: Oh, I didn't know you wanted her too!
Monica Geller: Huh!
Rachel Green: Well, I mean, sure, of course. But... you already gave that to Monica, so...
Monica Geller: You know, I would give her up, for you.
Rachel Green: No, I couldn't let you do that.
Monica Geller: But I want to.
Rachel Green: But I don't want you to.
Monica Geller: But I insist!
Rachel Green: But I insist harder!
Phoebe Buffay: Girls, girls, stop, ok? We'll flip a coin. Heads, she's Rachel's, tails she's Monica's. . Tails! Monica, she's yours!
Monica Geller: No, that landed in your food!
Rachel Green: No, no, that's ok. You won fair and square. I'm so sad!
Chandler Bing: Hey Joe!
Joey Tribbiani: What's up?
Chandler Bing: Bad news. I watched the tape and passed it along to my bosses and they weren't interested.
Joey Tribbiani: Oh.
Chandler Bing: I'm sorry man.
Joey Tribbiani: But, ehm... you watched the tape?
Chandler Bing: Yeah! I... I... I liked it! But, ehm... my bosses didn't go for it. Stupid sons of bitches!
Joey Tribbiani: You didn't watch the tape.
Chandler Bing: What!? Of course I did!
Joey Tribbiani: Look, it's one thing not to cast me, but to lie to me?
Chandler Bing: I'm not lying to you, I watched it!
Joey Tribbiani: Well, you lied again!
Chandler Bing: I watched it!
Joey Tribbiani: Keep going Pinocchio!
Chandler Bing: I did!
Joey Tribbiani: No you didn't!
Chandler Bing: I'm telling you, I watched the tape.
Rachel Green: Did you watch the tape?
Chandler Bing: No!
Benjamin Hobart: The selection committee has chosen the three of you as our finalists today. The ultimate decision will be based upon the answers you give to the questions I ask here. I'm gonna start with Dr. Li. Dr. Li, you claim the field is too reliant on the Linnaean taxonomic system. How do you propose to correct this problem?
Dr. Li: Well, I believe that the answers lie in the osteological evidence. I plan to begin there.
Benjamin Hobart: Interesting.
Ross Geller: I guess!
Benjamin Hobart: Dr. Biely, your proposal includes some field work. Where might that take place?
Dr. Biely: Primarily in the Pierre Shale region of South Dakota.
Benjamin Hobart: Certainly. Very well. And Dr. Geller, when is my birthday?
Ross Geller: What? I... I...
Benjamin Hobart: Care to venture a guess?
Ross Geller: May 12th?
Benjamin Hobart: That's not even kinda close! Dr. Li, how many graduate students you'd be needing?
Dr. Li: Half a dozen.
Benjamin Hobart: I see, and Dr. Biely?
Dr. Biely: Three for excavation and two for analysis.
Benjamin Hobart: Certainly. Dr. Geller, which 1965 Shirelles hit was later covered by a popular British invasion band?
Ross Geller: Wha..? I need 6 graduate students.
Benjamin Hobart: No! I'm sorry, we were looking for "Baby It's You". Baby It's You.
Ross Geller: Wha...? Wait, wait, wait, just a minute. None of my questions have anything to do with Paleontology.
Benjamin Hobart: You're right, I apologize. Scratch the last question. Spell "Boscodictiasaur".
Ross Geller: um... I've never heard of a "Boscodictiasaur".
Benjamin Hobart: Yeah, I just made it up. Spell it.
Ross Geller: Ok. B - O - S ...
Benjamin Hobart: No, it starts with a silent "M".
Ross Geller: Oh come on!!
Chandler Bing: I can't believe Joey. I hate being called a liar!
Rachel Green: But you are a liar.
Chandler Bing: What did I just say?
Joey Tribbiani: You still here?
Chandler Bing: Yes, and I have to say, I am not just hurt. I am insulted. When I tell somebody I did something...
Joey Tribbiani: Ok whoah-hey... Let me just stop you right there, ok? First, you lied, right? Then, you lied about lying, ok? Then you lied about lying about lying, ok? So before you lie about lying about lying about lying about... lying... Stop lying!
Chandler Bing: Why are you so sure I didn't watch this tape?
Joey Tribbiani: You wanna know wh...? You wanna know why?
Rachel Green: Well, this is going well.
Joey Tribbiani: Here's how I know you didn't watch the tape, ok? If you had seen what was on this tape, believe me, you would have some comments. Alright, now remember, I got paid a lot of money for this and it only aired in Japan.
Joey Tribbiani: And that's how I know you didn't watch the tape! .
Chandler Bing: He really is a chameleon.
Phoebe Buffay: Well, Gladys say hello to your new home!
Monica Geller: Oh, my!
Rachel Green: Wow! Oh, she's so nice and big! Oh, Monica, where are you going to display Gladys oh so proudly?
Monica Geller: I haven't really settled on a spot yet!
Rachel Green: Well, hey! How about right above the TV? . That way, it will be the first thing that you see when you walk in the door!
Phoebe Buffay: Yeah, yeah! And you can get rid of that French poster.
Monica Geller: I like that poster!
Phoebe Buffay: Really? It doesn't have anything coming out of it. Or maybe there is some place for her in your bedroom?
Rachel Green: Oh! There's nothing above your bed!!
Monica Geller: Are you still here?
Ross Geller: Oh hi! Hello! Uh, have you come to ask me some more paleontology related questions? Uhm... your grandmother's nickname, perhaps? Aunt Margaret's pants size?
Benjamin Hobart: I've come here to apologize. I think I may have let my feelings for Charlie interfere with the interview process.
Ross Geller: No! Stop!
Benjamin Hobart: Anyway, I've decided to offer you the grant.
Ross Geller: Really?
Benjamin Hobart: Well... there is just one small... stipulation...
Ross Geller: I have to break up with Charlie?
Benjamin Hobart: Hey, you got one right!
Ross Geller: You're crazy.
Benjamin Hobart: Crazy, or... romantic?
Ross Geller: Crazy!
Benjamin Hobart: Ooor...
Ross Geller: Get out!
Rachel Green: O-oh my God!
Joey Tribbiani: What?
Rachel Green: Joey, what... is... this...thing... doing here?
Joey Tribbiani: I got it from Monica. She sold it to me for a very reasonable price.
Rachel Green: Joey, we're not keeping this!
Joey Tribbiani: But it's an original Buffay...
Rachel Green: Alright, fine. You can keep it. As long as you don't mind that she's haunted.
Joey Tribbiani: Hey? what? what? wey! whoo! what? what!?
Rachel Green: Well, legend has it Joey, that... she comes alive when you're asleep.
Rachel Green: She climbs out of the frame, and then drags her half-a-body across the floor, just looking for legs to steal. And then with her one good hand, she slo-o-owly re-e-a-aches up and turns your doorknob.
Joey Tribbiani: GET THAT LEGLESS WITCH OUT OF HERE!
Monica Geller: Hey! I sold that to Joey.
Rachel Green: Well, why I told him it's haunted. Two can play at this game.
Monica Geller: No, too late. You can't give it back!
Rachel Green: Yes I can!
Monica Geller: No you can't. She's yours!
Rachel Green: She's yours!
Monica Geller: SHE'S YOURS!
Rachel Green: She's yours!
Phoebe Buffay: Hey!
Rachel Green: She's mine!
Monica Geller: She's m-i-i-ne!
Rachel Green: She's mine!
Monica Geller: She's mine!
Phoebe Buffay: You guys! You guys! You don't have to fight over her anymore. Whoever doesn't get Gladys gets Glynnis.
Rachel Green: I want Gladys!
Monica Geller: She's mine!
Rachel Green: She's mine!
Monica Geller: She's mine!
Rachel Green: She's mine!
Chandler Bing: Look, I'm sorry I didn't give them your tape. And I promise, next time to submit you whether I think you are right for the part or not.
Joey Tribbiani: That's not the point Chandler. The point is that you lied.
Chandler Bing: I know. You're right. What's it gonna take for you to forgive me?
Monica Geller: Oh my God!
Rachel Green: Excellent!
Joey Tribbiani: Now, what do you say?
Chandler Bing: Lying is wrong!
Joey Tribbiani: And?... AND?
Chandler Bing: I'm a pretty little girl.
Phoebe Buffay: I knew it!
Ross Geller: Your ex-boyfriend is insane.
Charlie Wheeler: Did you get the grant?
Ross Geller: No I didn't, and you want to know why? Because your ex-boyfriend is still in love with you.
Charlie Wheeler: What?
Ross Geller: Yeah. He wouldn't give me the grant, because I wouldn't give you up.
Charlie Wheeler: Benji isn't in love with me. I mean, he broke up with me. And besides, he's a very ethical man.
Ross Geller: Really? Is it ethical to ask someone in a grant review, who was the voice of "Underdog"?
Charlie Wheeler: I'm sure he was just joking, Ross.
Ross Geller: If you don't believe me, let's go talk to him, okay? I'm telling you, he didn't ask me one paleontological question.
Charlie Wheeler: Seriously?
Ross Geller: Oh, I'm sorry, no. He did ask me one. Uhm... How do you spell Mboscodictiosaur?
Charlie Wheeler: Well, if it's like the lake Mbosco in Congo, then M-B-O...
Ross Geller: Damnit!
Benjamin Hobart: Dr. Geller...? Charlie... What are you... what are you doing here?
Ross Geller: I want you to tell her everything. About the deal you tried to make with me, about the crazy questions you... Wally Cox! That's the voice of Underdog!
Benjamin Hobart: Like I tried to tell you in the interview Ross, this grant is not based on your knowledge of pretty useless trivia.
Ross Geller: No, no, no. Don't do that! I want you to look her in the eyes, and tell her the truth.
Charlie Wheeler: Benji?
Benjamin Hobart: Alright, it's true. I behaved horribly. But it's only because I still love you. And I would do anything to have you back in my life.
Ross Geller: Too little, too late, Benji!
Charlie Wheeler: I can't believe this.
Benjamin Hobart: I never should have broken up with you. I think about you all the time. I mean, do you ever still think about me?
Ross Geller: No!
Charlie Wheeler: Yes!
Ross Geller: What?
Charlie Wheeler: I don't know what to say, Benji. This is all so... romantic.
Ross Geller: or...
Benjamin Hobart: Listen, I know, I may be way out of bounds here, but is there any chance you will take me back?
Charlie Wheeler: Maybe...
Ross Geller: Sweetie, this conversation is starting to make me a little uncomfortable.
Charlie Wheeler: Oh God! I am so sorry, but... I mean it's... there's so much history between us, you know...
Benjamin Hobart: I'm sorry too...
Benjamin Hobart: I love you!
Charlie Wheeler: I love you too!
Ross Geller: Okay, that's it. WE ARE SEEING OTHER PEOPLE!
Joey Tribbiani: Gladys?
Rachel Green: Ha ha ha, third time this week. Man, this does not get old.
Joey Tribbiani: You're mean!
Rachel Green: Oh, don't be such a baby! end.


Ross Geller: Hey you guys!
Phoebe Buffay: Hey!
Ross Geller: Hey, what are you doing?
Mike Hannigan: Oh, figuring out our wedding plans.
Chandler Bing: That's funny, we were doing the same thing!
Ross Geller: Yeah!
Phoebe Buffay: It's really crazy! The hall, the dress, the food... I-I had no idea how expensive this stuff was!
Chandler Bing: Yeah it is really pricey. I mean, I freaked when I first heard the numbers.
Phoebe Buffay: So what did you two do about it?
Chandler Bing: It was pretty simple actually, I came up with a couple of cost-cutting solutions, wrote out a list and Monica told me to go to hell.
Ross Geller: There's no way around it Pheebs, you just gonna have to accept the fact that this is gonna cost you a lot of money.
Mike Hannigan: I heard that weddings are like a 40 billion dollar a year industry.
Ross Geller: Yeah, and I'm responsible for just like half of that.
Phoebe Buffay: But really, it does seem like this money could be put to better use?
Mike Hannigan: Are you serious?
Phoebe Buffay: Yeah! Now, how would you feel if we gave all the wedding money to charity and we just got married at City Hall?
Mike Hannigan: I think it would make me wanna marry you even more.
Ross Geller: I've got to say you guys, that's an incredible gesture!
Chandler Bing: Maybe you do that next time you get married!
Ross Geller: No, no, no. The next time it's gonna be a Hawaii at sunset. But maybe the time after that!
Joey Tribbiani: Hey!
Chandler Bing: Hey!
Joey Tribbiani: What's going on?
Chandler Bing: Our adoption social worker is coming by today so we are cleaning the apartment.
Monica Geller: We?
Chandler Bing: You know you don't want me to help. You can't have it both ways!
Joey Tribbiani: Hey, is this person who decides whether or not you... get a baby?
Chandler Bing: Kind of. She's coming by to interview us and see where we live.
Monica Geller: And it has to go perfectly, because if she doesn't like something about us she can keep us off every adoption list in the state.
Joey Tribbiani: Hey, maybe I should stop by! She could be a soap opera fan! It's very impressive when the little people know a celebrity.
Chandler Bing: Little people?
Joey Tribbiani: Celebrity.
Monica Geller: Ok, so I think I'm just about done here, unless you have any bad stuff hidden somewhere, like... porn or cigarettes?
Chandler Bing: What...? NO!
Monica Geller: Chandler?
Chandler Bing: I don't, and I'm offended by the insinuation!
Monica Geller: Ok, so there's not a magazine under the couch, or a pack of cigarettes taped to the back of the toilet tank, or a filthy video in the VCR?
Chandler Bing: I'll admit to the cigarettes and the magazine, but that tape is not mine.
Monica Geller: It isn't mine!
Joey Tribbiani: Well, I guess we'll never know whose it is!
Charity Guy: May I help you?
Phoebe Buffay: Yes. We're here to make a rather sizeable donation to the children.
Charity Guy: Well, any contribution, large or small, is always appreciated.
Phoebe Buffay: Well, I think you're gonna appreciate it the crap out of this one.
Charity Guy: Well, this is very generous!
Phoebe Buffay: And we don't want any recognition. This is completely anonymous.
Mike Hannigan: Completely anonymous. From two kind strangers.
Phoebe Buffay: Mr. X and Phoebe Buffay.
Charity Guy: Well if you like, we can include your names in our newsletter.
Mike Hannigan: Not necessary.
Phoebe Buffay: Buffay is spelled B-U-F-F-A-Y.
Mike Hannigan: And "X" is spelled uhm... "Mike Hannigan".
Charity Guy: Right. Well, on behalf of the children: thank you both very much.
Phoebe Buffay: Sure, I so glad we did this. It feels so good!
Mike Hannigan: It does. It feels really good!
Phoebe Buffay: Oh, look! And we get these free t-shirts!
Charity Guy: Oh, actually, that's the shirt I wore to the gym.
Phoebe Buffay: Mhm... it's moist.
Ross Geller: Hi!
Rachel Green: Hi! Emma will be up in a minute!
Ross Geller: Oh, good!
Rachel Green: Oh hey Ross... Listen, I heard about you and Charlie. I'm really sorry.
Ross Geller: Oh, that's OK. I'm sure there are tons of other beautiful paleontologists out there.
Rachel Green: Absolutely.
Ross Geller: There was one! She's it! All the rest look like they should live under a bridge!
Rachel Green: So, uhm... what are you gonna do today?
Ross Geller: Well, I was thinking of taking Emma to the playground!
Rachel Green: Oh my God, what!?
Ross Geller: Like I said I was thinking of taking Emma to the museum of knives and fire!
Rachel Green: Ok, look, Ross. I do not want Emma going to the playground.
Ross Geller: Be-caaauuuse...
Rachel Green: All right, well, if you must know... I had a traumatic... swing incident... when I was little.
Ross Geller: Seriously?
Rachel Green: Yes, I was 4 years old and I was on the swing and then all of a sudden my hair got tangled in the chain. And to get me out my mom had to-had to cut a big chunk of my hair! And it was uneven for weeks!
Ross Geller: And you made it through that? I wonder who's gonna play you in the movie!
Rachel Green: Ok, fine! You can make fun of me. I do not want Emma going there. And I was thinking Claire Danes.
Ross Geller: Look, I'm sorry to hear about your tragedy, ok? But the swings are perfectly safe, and besides Emma loves them. You know what, you should come with us and you'll see!
Rachel Green: Ross, those things go like 40 miles an hour! Ok? When you're... and there is that moment when you are at the top, when you just don't know if you're gonna return back to earth!
Ross Geller: Space is filled with orbiting children. Look, please, just come on, you know, when you'll see the look on Emma's face, I swear you won't regret it.
Rachel Green: All right!
Ross Geller: Good, you don't want to be one of those mothers who pass on their irrational fears on their children, do you?
Rachel Green: Irrational, huh? All right, well, I'll remember that the next time you freak out about a spider in your apartment!
Ross Geller: Oh, yeah, that's the same, I am sure there are thirty different species of poisonous swings!
Monica Geller: Oh my God, the adoption lady is early!
Chandler Bing: Ok, ok, here we go.
Monica Geller: Ok.
Chandler Bing: Here we go. Stand up straight. Big smile.
Phoebe Buffay: Hello, is this the creepy residence?
Monica Geller: We're waiting for the adoption lady, but, hey, I'm glad you're here. I was cleaning this morning and I found this . I don't know if you wanna use it, but...
Phoebe Buffay: Awe, this is so sweet of you! But you know what? I won't be needing a veil, I actually won't be wearing a dress at all!
Monica Geller: I told you! I am not coming to a naked wedding!
Phoebe Buffay: No, no, no, we're not having a big reception, we took the money we were gonna spend on a wedding and we donate them to the children charity.
Monica Geller: That's crazy! . I am sorry. I just can't imagine giving up my one wedding day like that!
Phoebe Buffay: We, you know, we're different! We don't care about having a huge party. This is really nice for you, but, oh, please, I put this on? And, ow, I look , why, well, radiant. All right, well, who cares, I don't need a pretty veil and a fancy dress.
Monica Geller: That's right. You're making a commitment and that's the same, whether you do that at the Plaza or, where are you gonna do it?
Phoebe Buffay: City Hall.
Monica Geller: Ow! Oh, that sounds nice! I am just there for jury duty. They really spruce that place up!
Phoebe Buffay: It's ok, it's ok. I made my decision. What I really want is a great big wedding.
Monica Geller: Yay!
Chandler Bing: But you already gave all your money to charity!
Phoebe Buffay: Well, I'll just ask for it back!
Chandler Bing: I don't think you can do that!
Monica Geller: Why not! This is her wedding day, this is way more important than some stupid kids!
Chandler Bing: That's sweet, honey, but save something for the adoption Lady.
Rachel Green: Ok, careful.
Ross Geller: Ok.
Rachel Green: Careful, watch her hair. WATCH HER HAIR!
Ross Geller: Rach, she's got like three hairs!
Rachel Green: I know but they're just so beautiful! Oh, my God, I just pulled one out.
Ross Geller: I promise you she's safe! No watch how much she loves this.
Rachel Green: Ok.
Ross Geller: Ready sweety?
Rachel Green: Ok.
Ross Geller: Here we go!
Rachel Green: Ok, careful, ok. Oh, she's smiling! Oh my God, she does like it!
Ross Geller: See, I told you!
Rachel Green: Awe! Oh my God! Looks, she's a little dare-devil! Oh, let me push, can I push?
Ross Geller: Oh, absolutely!
Rachel Green: Ok. Oh God. Get the camera, it's in the diaper bag.
Ross Geller: Ok! See? Scared of swings, I bet you feel pretty silly Ow!
Mike Hannigan: We're seriously asking for our money back?
Phoebe Buffay: It's for our wedding day! Right, now, is this guy gay or straight, because one of us gonna have to start flirting.
Charity Guy: Wow! Are you here to make another donation the same day? I don't think that that's ever happened before.
Phoebe Buffay: Gay, go.
Mike Hannigan: Oh my God, I love your shirt!
Phoebe Buffay: The donation we made earlier, we k..., we w..., we want it back.
Charity Guy: Excuse me?
Phoebe Buffay: Yeah. See, that money was for a big wedding, that we thought we didn't want, but it turns out we do.
Charity Guy: So you're asking us to refund your donation to the children?
Mike Hannigan: Yeah! This feels really good.
Phoebe Buffay: I am sorry. I am, but this wedding is just really important to me.
Charity Guy: Hey, it's not my business, besides it's probably a good thing. We really would have been spoiling the children, all those food, and warm clothing...
Phoebe Buffay: Hey, that's not fair! A person's wedding is important! And especially to me! Ok? I didn't have a graduation party! And I didn't go to Prom. And I spent my sweet sixteen being chased round a tire yard by an escaped mental patient who is his own words wanted to "kill me" or whatever. So I deserve a real celebration and I am not gonna let some sweaty little man make me feel badly about it.
Mike Hannigan: She could have been talking about either one of us.
Laura: Hi, I am Laura, I am here for your adoption interview.
Monica Geller: Hi, I am Monica and this is Chandler. Please come in.
Laura: Thank you!
Monica Geller: Would you like something to drink?
Laura: Oh, water would be fine.
Monica Geller: Ok. Great. I am so glad that you are here. We're really excited about getting this process started.
Chandler Bing: Oh, because we love kids. Love 'em to death.Well, not actually to death, that's just a figure of speech - we love kids the appropriate amount... as allowed by law.
Laura: Your place is just lovely.
Monica Geller: Ah, thank you. This building does have a wholesome family feel to it.
Laura: You know, I... I feel like I've been here before. Are any other couples in the building adopting?
Monica Geller: Is that that couple on the first floor? Because we should get a baby before them. Yeah! That guy tried to sell me drugs.
Chandler Bing: But other than that... wholesome, wholesome building.
Laura: Oh...
Chandler Bing: What?
Laura: I just realized why I remember this place.
Monica Geller: Really? What is it?
Laura: Oh, it's nothing. I went on a date with a guy who lived in this building and it didn't end very well.
Monica Geller: Ohh... that wouldn't by any chance be... Joey Tribbiani?
Laura: Yes!
Chandler Bing: Of course it was!
Laura: Yeah, we had a really great night and in the morning he promised he would call me and he didn't.
Chandler Bing: RAT BASTARD!
Laura: So you're not friends with him?
Laura: Well, I'm sorry I brought it up. So, are either one of you planning on staying at home with your child...
Joey Tribbiani: Hellooo? Anybody in there order a celebrity? OW!
Laura: What was that?
Chandler Bing: Oh, it's just some crazy guy who roams the halls here. He's great with kids though.
Rachel Green: Oh, oh Ross, oh my God, are you okay?
Ross Geller: SON OF A BITCH! Oh relax! I didn't say the 'F' word!
Rachel Green: Ross, see! I told you, those swings are evil! Alright, that is it. That is the last time Emma is getting on one of those things for her entire life.
Ross Geller: No! No, no, no, no, okay, it wasn't the swing's fault. It was my fault and kind of that kids fault. Who is still laughing. Nice.
Rachel Green: Ross, c'mon, please. Can we just get out of here, before somebody else gets hurt?
Ross Geller: No wait, okay, okay, I have an idea. I want you to get on the swing, okay? And you'll see that there's nothing to be afraid of.
Rachel Green: I know what this is all about... You've always been jealous of my hair.
Ross Geller: Look, I just think you're an adult, okay? And you should get over your silly fears.
Rachel Green: Alright fine. I'll do it.
Ross Geller: Good.
Rachel Green: If you hold a spider.
Ross Geller: WHAT? WHERE? WHERE?
Rachel Green: IF you hold a spider.
Ross Geller: I know.
Joey Tribbiani: Guys? Everything ok? It's me, Joe...
Chandler Bing: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA...AAAaaa-doption!!
Laura: What's going on?
Chandler Bing: Oh, just like I said. That crazy... Bert... roaming the halls.
Joey Tribbiani: Guys!?
Monica Geller: Keep on roaming Bert! We don't want any crazy today!
Joey Tribbiani: What's going on?
Chandler Bing: WE'LL TALK TO YOU LATER, BERT. EVERYTHNG'S FINE!!
Joey Tribbiani: Everything doesn't sound fine!
Laura: Is he alright out there by himself?
Chandler Bing: Oh yeah! He has a caretaker. His older brother... Ernie.
Laura: Bert and Ernie!
Chandler Bing: You can't make this stuff up!
Mike Hannigan: You never told me about that guy on your sweet sixteen. Oh, ugh. I'm sorry about that.
Phoebe Buffay: Oh! It ended okay. One of my friends shot him.
Mike Hannigan: Well, hey, at least you're getting a proper wedding. I mean, you really deserve that.
Phoebe Buffay: Yeah, I really do. You know, I had nothing growing up. Just like the kids I took the money from.
Mike Hannigan: No! No, no. I see where this is going. Don't make me go back there.
Phoebe Buffay: Look, I can't have a wedding with this money now. It's tainted.
Mike Hannigan: Alright, fine. We'll give the money back.
Phoebe Buffay: And if that guy at the charity gives us a hard time, my friend hasn't shot anyone in a really long time.
Phoebe Buffay: We're back!
Charity Guy: Are you here to take more money? Because, I think what you're looking for is an ATM.
Mike Hannigan: No, no, we're here to give the money back.
Phoebe Buffay: Yeah, because you know what, it's... it's all about the children.
Phoebe Buffay: Although... it's also about the wedding... Ugh, alright... here. No... Oh God... Oh!
Charity Guy: If I haven't said so already sir, congratulations!
Mike Hannigan: Ok, look! Enough! Alright? I'm stepping in. I'm putting my foot down! As your future husband I'm going to make this decision for us. Now... what do you think we should do?
Charity Guy: You know what? It's not your decision anymore.
Mike Hannigan: What?
Charity Guy: On behalf of the Children of New York, I reject your money.
Phoebe Buffay: But... but... but we're giving you this!
Charity Guy: Yeah... And I'm giving it back to you... Come on! Consider it a contribution.
Phoebe Buffay: Well, this is very generous!
Charity Guy: Please, take the check, go have a great wedding and a wonderful life together.
Mike Hannigan: Well, I mean... It sounds good to me. And that way we can save up, come back in a few years and make an even bigger donation.
Charity Guy: Absolutely! And when you do, make sure you ask for Brian.
Phoebe Buffay: Oh, is that you?
Charity Guy: No!
Monica Geller: Hello...? Oh hi... Oh my God...! Really...? I can't wait to tell Chandler... Ok, goodbye.
Chandler Bing: Wrong number?
Monica Geller: It was Laura... She gave us a great report and we are officially on the waiting list.
Chandler Bing: That's great!
Monica Geller: Now we just have to wait for a call and... and someone tells us there's a baby waiting for us. Oh...
Chandler Bing: Hello...? Have you seen Joey's bat?
Rachel Green: Ok... I got a spider. There were two, I picked the bigger one.
Ross Geller: Ok...
Rachel Green: Ok...
Ross Geller: This feels perfectly normal. Ok, get on the swing!
Rachel Green: Ok... O-k...
Rachel Green: Ok...
Rachel Green: whoo... ok... wow... ok... OH!
Ross Geller: See?
Rachel Green: A-alright! I can do this.
Ross Geller: There you go! Good for you! And you know what, I'm actually getting used to this little guy. I don't really even feel him in here anymore.
Rachel Green: That's because he's on your neck.
Ross Geller: Well... Whaa... aaah... aaahhh...
Rachel Green: ROSS! end.


Monica Geller: Hey guys!
Rachel Green: Hi!
Phoebe Buffay: Hey!
Monica Geller: We need to talk to you about something.
Chandler Bing: Yeah. We don't feel like we can host Thanksgiving this year.
Everyone: What?
Phoebe Buffay: Hey!
Ross Geller: Are you kidding?
Chandler Bing: Well, it's just with uhm, work and the stress of adoption, we just don't feel like we have the energy. Plus, we don't think it's fair that every year the burden falls on us.
Ross Geller: That doesn't sound like you... That's Monica talking!
Chandler Bing: No, no! We made this decision together.
Ross Geller: She's putting words in your mouth!
Joey Tribbiani: Don't you put words in people's mouths, you put turkey in people's mouths!
Rachel Green: I can't believe this! This is Emma's first Thanksgiving!
Monica Geller: No, it's not!
Rachel Green: It's not? When was she born?
Phoebe Buffay: Well, personally I think it's great you're giving yourself a break.
Monica Geller: Thank you, Pheebs!
Phoebe Buffay: Sure. It's just as well... I mean, last year wasn't very good. I think she's losing her touch.
Monica Geller: What? You are way off, lady!
Phoebe Buffay: Am I? Really? Am I? Well, why don't you cook Thanksgiving dinner and prove me wrong! Well, think about it, think about it, you'll be trying to top than you did last year. You'd be in competition... with yourself.
Monica Geller: That's my favourite kind! Okay, we are doing this!
Chandler Bing: Don't let yourself get manipulated this way!
Monica Geller: Hey, stay out of this, Chandler! This is between me... and ME!
Chandler Bing: We are supposed to make these decisions together! Did you not watch the Doctor Phil I taped for you?
Phoebe Buffay: Hey!
Rachel Green: Hi! Happy Thanksgiving!
Phoebe Buffay: Oh, yeah, happy needless-turkey-murder day.
Monica Geller: You guys, I ordered some chocolate pies from that bakery on Bleecker. Could you pick them up for me?
Phoebe Buffay: You're not making the pies yourself?
Monica Geller: No, no, no, I don't make chocolate pies. When I was younger I-I enter in this pie-eating contest. I ate so many that just the thought of them made me sick.
Rachel Green: Did you at least win the contest?
Monica Geller: 2 minutes, 12 pies and a part of one tin! Okay, I see you guys at 4.
Rachel Green: Can't wait!
Monica Geller: This dinner is gonna be so great! In your face, last year "me"!
Phoebe Buffay: Hey Rach.
Rachel Green: Yeah.
Phoebe Buffay: What's Emma doing today?
Rachel Green: Well, let's see... uh... I know that she has a meeting with her lawyer and then she has to make a very big poop. Why?
Phoebe Buffay: Well, I wanna enter her in a baby beauty pageant.
Rachel Green: Oh my God! That's the creepiest thing I've ever heard!
Phoebe Buffay: Okay, but, well, before you say no, my friend Susanne is entering her kid and compared to Emma she's a real dog!
Rachel Green: Oh! Phoebe, all babies are beautiful!
Phoebe Buffay: Oh... okay.
Rachel Green: Phoebe, just the idea of pitting one baby against another, I mean, you know, and judging who's cuter just for a trophy...
Rachel Green: And a thousand dollars.
Rachel Green: ...is something I'm very interested in! Oh please, do not tell Ross. He still believes that what's in the inside is important...
Phoebe Buffay: Okay, oh, and Emma needs a cowgirl outfit for the competition.
Rachel Green: Where am I gonna get a cowgirl outfit on Thanksgiving?
Phoebe Buffay: Well, I was thinking...
Rachel Green: Oh, take the clothes of Joey's Cabbage Patch Kid.
Phoebe Buffay: Yeah!
Monica Geller: Did someone drop the baton again?
Chandler Bing: Why come all the way from Kansas to do that?
Monica Geller: I don't get older. I just get better!
Chandler Bing: You know what just occurred to me? This could be our last Thanksgiving just the two of us. I mean, we could be getting a baby soon!
Monica Geller: You don't know that.
Chandler Bing: Somebody is gonna pick us.
Monica Geller: Yeah, but we haven't heard a thing from the adoption agency and it has been weeks!
Chandler Bing: I'm telling ya! It's gonna happen. Next year it's gonna be you, me and the little Hemingway Bing. What, he's my favourite author!
Monica Geller: Name one of his books.
Chandler Bing: "The Firm"?
Monica Geller: Ok, let's see... uhm, okay, the turkey is in the oven, the stuffing is ready...
Chandler Bing: You know, you always cook this meal all by yourself. Let me help this year.
Monica Geller: Oh, Chandler, that's sweet. But you don't have to do everything Doctor Phil tells you to do.
Chandler Bing: I'm serious, let me do something, just not the turkey or the stuffing, nothing "high profile".
Monica Geller: Ok, let's see... Oh, the cranberry sauce, it is easy to make and no-one really cares about it.
Chandler Bing: Tell me more.
Monica Geller: Okay, I'm gonna go check on something across the hall. You start by washing these Not with soap!!
Chandler Bing: You obviously haven't tasted my Palmolive potatoes!
Ross Geller: Hey! Hey, guess what Joey has!
Joey Tribbiani: Three tickets to today's Rangers game!!
Ross Geller: Dude, I wanted him to guess.
Joey Tribbiani: Oh.
Chandler Bing: Oh my God!
Joey Tribbiani: Yeah, they're great seats too!
Ross Geller: Guess where they are?
Joey Tribbiani: Center ice.
Ross Geller: Did I do something to you?
Chandler Bing: Hmm, the game's at one.
Ross Geller: So?
Chandler Bing: Dinner is at four, we'll never gonna make it back.
Joey Tribbiani: So we'll leave before it's over, we'll be back in time.
Chandler Bing: You say that now, but it could take us a long time to get back home. Plus Joey could get lost and and they could have to page us to go pick him up.
Joey Tribbiani: Dude, two times that happened!
Chandler Bing: Look, Monica has been working hard all day, she didn't wanna host this thing in the first place, we shouldn't go!
Ross Geller: He's right, man.
Joey Tribbiani: Right, I guess. Alright, so see you at four.
Chandler Bing: Okay. And get ready to taste my very special cranberries. Or should I say... chanberries!
Joey Tribbiani: That's some gentle comedy, dude.
Ross Geller: We're still going at the game, right?
Joey Tribbiani: Yeah!
Ross Geller: Yeah.
Host: This is contestant number sixteen, Rebecca...
Phoebe Buffay: Hey.
Rachel Green: Oh Phoebe, listen. Well, I think we gotta go. This place is really freaking me out. I've been watching this guy over there, I don't think he came with a kid!
Phoebe Buffay: We can't leave now! There was this one baby, Haley, who was favourite to win and she got croup, so she had to stay home! This competition just blew wide open, folks!
Rachel Green: Phoebe, I think... It's just too weird, I just saw a one year old running around with pantyhose on!
Phoebe Buffay: Oh, I know, we should have been more prepared. It's okay. Now, the way I see it, our real competition now is Cameron. Oh my God, they just took her sweater off. Look at those arms! Hello Michelin Man.
Rachel Green: Oh, Phoebe! Come on! You know what, it's already three o'clock and they haven't even gotten to Emma's group yet. We gotta go, we got dinner!
Phoebe Buffay: But Emma's got what it takes, she could go all the way!
Rachel Green: Phoebe, you have to calm down.
Phoebe Buffay: Okay. Rachel, the hottest babies in the Tri-State Area are in this room right now! I overheard one of the judges say that not one of them holds a candle to Emma!
Rachel Green: Really?
Phoebe Buffay: Yeah!
Rachel Green: You heard them say that?
Phoebe Buffay: Yeah!
Rachel Green: All right, okay. Alright, let's give to these babies something to cry about!
Phoebe Buffay: Good! Oh yay! Let's get down to business! Emma needs some makeup!
Rachel Green: No, what?
Phoebe Buffay: Well, she's gonna look all washed out next to the other contestants!
Rachel Green: No Phoebe, I am not letting you put makeup on my baby!
Phoebe Buffay: Why not!
Rachel Green: Because I already did!
Joey Tribbiani: Oh, Bob, get off the guy!
Ross Geller: Oh! What a game, huh?
Joey Tribbiani: I know, yeah.
Ross Geller: I can't believe Chandler is missing this!
Joey Tribbiani: Yeah. I am sorry he's not here too, but I got to say, I am really enjoying Nacho Chair.
Ross Geller: Yeah, I'd probably enjoy it more if you didn't keep batting my hand away.
Joey Tribbiani: Ohhhh! These seats are great!
Ross Geller: I know, I know! When I was here for Holidays on Ice I was sitting so far away Michelle Kwan couldn't read my banner!
Joey Tribbiani: Wow, hey, we'd better get going. If we don't leave right now, we'll be late for dinner.
Ross Geller: Oh, but it's a kind game! So we're a little late, you know, the girls will be there, let's stay just for one more goal.
Joey Tribbiani: I don't know...
Ross Geller: One more fight!
Joey Tribbiani: Okay.
Ross Geller: Okay.
Monica Geller: Where is everybody? They're forty-five minutes late!
Chandler Bing: I can't believe they are not here! I slave and I slave for what? They've ruined cranberry day!
Joey Tribbiani: How late are we?
Ross Geller: Forty-five minutes.
Joey Tribbiani: Wow.
Ross Geller: Here!
Joey Tribbiani: Okay. Rachel and Phoebe are already there, okay? So they probably started without us. We could just slip in and no-one needs to know where we were!
Ross Geller: You may want to lose the foam finger!
Joey Tribbiani: Oh, no, no, no, no, no. You just want to put it on your hand!
Ross Geller: Hey!
Phoebe Buffay: Oh!
Joey Tribbiani: You are not at Thanksgiving?
Rachel Green: No...
Phoebe Buffay: No, we're late!
Rachel Green: What are you doing here!
Ross Geller: We're late too!
Joey Tribbiani: We figured we could be late because you guys were gonna be on time.
Phoebe Buffay: Don't point that thing at me, Tribbiani!
Ross Geller: So, nobody's here? Monica's gonna kill us!
Joey Tribbiani: Yeah, where were you!
Ross Geller: Yeah, yeah, what's with the trophy!
Phoebe Buffay: Uh, we were at the Spelling Bee!
Rachel Green: And I won!
Ross Geller: You won an adult Thanksgiving day spelling bee.
Rachel Green: Yes! Y-E-S. Yes!
Ross Geller: Let me see this... Grand Supreme Little Darling, New York Division.
Rachel Green: Yeah. That's me!
Ross Geller: You entered Emma into a Beauty Pageant?
Phoebe Buffay: And it looks like she put makeup on her!
Joey Tribbiani: Wait a second, wait a second, where have I seen that cowgirl outfit before...
Ross Geller: I can't believe this, she's our daughter! That you would treat her like some kind of showdog is inexcusable!
Rachel Green: She won a thousand dollars!
Ross Geller: So this is an annual thing?
Joey Tribbiani: Oh! That's Alicia Mae Emory's outfit!
Phoebe Buffay: You guys, there are people in there who are not getting any happier!
Ross Geller: Yeah. What are we gonna do?
Rachel Green: Well, I don't know, you guys figure it out, I got to put Emma down for a nap.
Joey Tribbiani: All right. Hey Rach, while you're in there, throw something on Alicia Mae.
Phoebe Buffay: Alright, what are we gonna say?
Ross Geller: Ooh, we'll say that we were mugged! You can't get mad at someone who's been mugged!
Phoebe Buffay: Oh, good, that's good, but you don't look like you were mugged!
Joey Tribbiani: No. Here.
Ross Geller: HEY!
Monica Geller: Do you hear something?
Chandler Bing: They're out there!
Monica Geller: Ohhh! Let me see! Oh God, I can't believe this! They're an hour late and they're just staying out there, talking!
Chandler Bing: Everything is so distorted! Looks like Joey has a giant hand! Which says "Rangers" on it. They went to the game!
Monica Geller: Oooh! They are in for a world of pain!
Chandler Bing: Ross' shirt is torn.
Monica Geller: Oh! They're late and they're sloppy!
Rachel Green: Alright, Emma is napping... what happened to your shirt?
Ross Geller: I got mugged. And they stole my pocket.
Phoebe Buffay: We're just... we're trying to figure out an excuse. Hey! Ooh! How about this: We can say that Monica told us 5 o'clock, not 4 o'clock. That way we're right on time! OR... or, we can plant PCP in the apartment and call the cops on her.
Ross Geller: That would be a good way to get rid of all the PCP we have lying around.
Rachel Green: You know what, we just say that she said it was 5 o'clock. We'll just act casual. We're not late, we're right on time.
Ross Geller: We know you're out there.
Joey Tribbiani: Who do you think its from?
Rachel Green: Oh, God. This is bad. This is so bad.
Ross Geller: Well, let's just go in there and face them.
Phoebe Buffay: Well, I'm not going in first. I bet that vein on Monica's forehead is popping like crazy.
Joey Tribbiani: I hate that thing, it's like a... bolt of lightning.
Rachel Green: Oh, hey, I have an idea. Why don't we play rock-paper-scissors, and whoever loses goes in first. Ready? .
Joey Tribbiani: Ah-haah! I win!!
Ross Geller: What is that?
Joey Tribbiani: That's fire. Beats everything.
Phoebe Buffay: Oh, really? Does it beat water balloon? .
Joey Tribbiani: Ooh! Well played, Phoebe Buffay, well played.
Rachel Green: Alright, enough, enough, come on. Let's just all go in at the same time.
Everyone: Alright, okay.
Phoebe Buffay: It's locked.
Ross Geller: Wha...? Oh sure, now they lock it, but when they're having sex on the couch, its like: "Come on in, my butt is surprisingly hairy".
Rachel Green: Alright, come on... Alright, you guys. We're so sorry we're late. Please let us in, so we can have dinner together.
Monica Geller: No! Everything's cold. The turkey's dried out and the... the stuffing is all soggy.
Chandler Bing: Yeah, and there's a bowl of cranberry sauce that... what happens to cranberry sauce?
Monica Geller: Nothing. It's fine.
Chandler Bing: Oh thank God!
Ross Geller: Come on you guys, we're sorry, alri...? Our subway broke down.
Chandler Bing: That's a lie, you went to the game, I can see Joey's hand.
Ross Geller: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD TAKE IT OFF!!
Rachel Green: You guys, come on, it doesn't matter why we're late. We're all here now, please let us in so we can have some of your delicious turkey.
Joey Tribbiani: I had a dream once about a fax machine that did that.
Monica Geller: That's all the turkey you're gonna get.
Ross Geller: How are we gonna decide who gets this?
Joey Tribbiani: WATER BALLOON!
Phoebe Buffay: What are we gonna do? I'm starving.
Rachel Green: Oh, I just remembered. We do have something to eat. Monica put something in our oven this morning.
Phoebe Buffay: Oh yeah!
Monica Geller: Hey, you touch that and you will be sorry.
Chandler Bing: Guys, I'd listen to her. The vein is bigger than I've ever seen it.
Rachel Green: Huh... OH MY GOD IT'S BRUSSELS SPROUTS.
Ross Geller: That's worse than no food.
Chandler Bing: HA-HA! All you got was Monica's stinky Brussels sprouts!
Monica Geller: Stinky?!
Chandler Bing: Please let me stay on this side of the door.
Rachel Green: Oh, I know... I still have my old key! We can just unlock the door.
Phoebe Buffay: Well, I don't know if that's such a good idea. They clearly don't want to be with us.
Rachel Green: You know what? I don't want to be with them either, but it's Thanksgiving and we should not want to be together, together.
Joey Tribbiani: Just get in there and make a face to face apology, you know? Look them in the eye. I know I can get them to forgive us.
Ross Geller: I don't know...
Joey Tribbiani: I'm telling ya... I can do it.
Ross Geller: Yeah, he can do it!
Rachel Green: Oh!
Joey Tribbiani: Oh! It all looks so beautiful: the turkey, the stuffing...
Chandler Bing: The cranberries...?
Monica Geller: Oh! Enough! A monkey could have made 'em!
Joey Tribbiani: Hey listen guys, we feel really terrible.
Chandler Bing: He's doing that weird eye contact thing. Don't look at him, don't look at him!
Joey Tribbiani: Come on you guys, we want you to know we're very very sorry. Right guys?
Ross Geller: I feel terrible.
Joey Tribbiani: Now let's not ruin this day. You worked so hard. Let's move past this and try to have a nice meal all together, huh?
Chandler Bing: The floating heads do make a good point.
Monica Geller: Yeah, they do seem to feel pretty bad.
Rachel Green: So bad.
Ross Geller: So bad.
Phoebe Buffay: So bad.
Monica Geller: Okay, okay. You two go get the dessert. And I'll let you in.
Rachel Green: Dessert?
Monica Geller: Yeah, I asked you and Phoebe to pick up the pies. You did remember, right?
Phoebe Buffay: Pies, oh, we thought you said priiiize . Here! .
Monica Geller: Grand Supreme Little Darling?
Rachel Green: Congratulatioooons!
Monica Geller: Oh my God! YOU FORGOT THE PIES? Well, I cannot believe this. You force me to make dinner, then you're an hour late and you forget the one little thing that I asked you to do.
Ross Geller: Really girls, not cool.
Chandler Bing: Well, you manheads aren't any better. You lied about going to the game. You knew it would make you late, and you still went anyway.
Joey Tribbiani: Hey! I'm getting a little tired of this okay? We said we're sorry. It's Thanksgiving for Pete's sakes! A day of forgiveness!
Ross Geller: It's a day to be thankful.
Joey Tribbiani: Don't make me come up there!
Monica Geller: It's too late for apologies.
Joey Tribbiani: Fine! Let's just go. I don't need your stupid dinner.
Chandler Bing: That would be a lot more convincing if you weren't drooling.
Rachel Green: Ewww, is that what that is?
Joey Tribbiani: Sorry!
Phoebe Buffay: Come on you guys, let's just do our own Thanksgiving.
Rachel Green: Yeah! I'll cook!
Ross Geller: Yeah! Let's go out.
Rachel Green: Hey!
Joey Tribbiani: Yeah! You three have a nice Thanksgiving.
Monica Geller: The three of us?
Joey Tribbiani: Yeah! You, Chan, and the vein!
Joey Tribbiani: Ha!
Joey Tribbiani: Oh-oh! I'm stuck!
Monica Geller: Joey, that is not gonna work.
Joey Tribbiani: No seriously... I'm really wedged in here.
Phoebe Buffay: I'll pull you through.
Ross Geller: Okay.
Joey Tribbiani: aaw-ahhh-aaahhh STOP! STOP! I'm worried about damaging my head.
Chandler Bing: A little late for that.
Joey Tribbiani: Alright, hurry up, you gotta do something.
Monica Geller: Alright, well, this does not change anything. Okay, we need to get something to grease the sides of his face.
Chandler Bing: Uhm, we've got turkey grease.
Monica Geller: Bring it.
Joey Tribbiani: I just wanna say that I'm sorry I referred to the vein as a seperate person...
Monica Geller: Here you go!
Joey Tribbiani: Oh, that smells good!
Joey Tribbiani: Okay.
Monica Geller: Okay, try it.
Joey Tribbiani: It isn't working.
Monica Geller: Alright, we're gonna have to unscrew the chain.
Joey Tribbiani: Well hurry, I can't feel my ears!
Chandler Bing: Can you ever feel your ears?
Joey Tribbiani: Interesting...
Monica Geller: Chandler, where are your tools?
Chandler Bing: Oh, I left them on my bulldozer... I don't have tools!
Monica Geller: I do, but Rachel borrowed them.
Rachel Green: I lent them to Ross.
Ross Geller: I gave them to Joey.
Joey Tribbiani: I left them at the park.
Monica Geller: Oh!
Ross Geller: I'm finding it really hard not to mess with him.
Phoebe Buffay: I've already stuffed a bunch of Brussel sprouts down his pants.
Ross Geller: Nice!
Monica Geller: Okay, I have to get that. Now when I get back, I want you and your friends to be gone. Thanksgiving is over. The Vein has spoken.
Joey Tribbiani: It's really starting to hurt.
Chandler Bing: Okay, look, I'm gonna pull on the door and you guys push as hard as you can. Maybe we can get enough room to wiggle him out, okay? Okay, so PUSH!
Phoebe Buffay: Just a sec., we're kind in the middle of something here.
Joey Tribbiani: Ooh! Stop putting things down my pants!
Chandler Bing: Come on guys, PUSH!
Joey Tribbiani: Yeah! Come on!
Chandler Bing: My cranberries!
Joey Tribbiani: Man, I've got food all over me.
Chandler Bing: Argh! I can't believe what you did. Monica's gonna kill you!
Chandler Bing: Look! Look! Look what the... Look what... Look what the floating heads did!
Monica Geller: I don't care.
Chandler Bing: What's going on?
Monica Geller: That was the adoption agency...
Chandler Bing: And?
Monica Geller: WE'RE GETTING A BABY!
Chandler Bing: Are you serious?
Monica Geller: There's a pregnant woman in Ohio, and she picked us!
Rachel Green: I'm so happy for you!
Monica Geller: This Thanksgiving kicks last Thanksgiving's ass!
Rachel Green: To Monica and Chandler... and that knocked up girl in Ohio.
Ross Geller: I'm just so happy you guys are finally getting a kid.
Phoebe Buffay: I know. Have you considered pageanting?
Monica Geller: I can't believe they called, and we're actually getting a baby.
Joey Tribbiani: Oh, I know how you feel...
Rachel Green: Really?
Joey Tribbiani: Sure. I went through the exact same thing with Alicia Mae Emory... The waiting, the wandering... Then one day... I get that call from Toys "R" Us... She was in stock!
Chandler Bing: That is the exact same thing.


Chandler Bing: Hi!
Ross Geller: Hey!
Monica Geller: Hey!
Chandler Bing: We're just here to say goodbye, we're off to Ohio.
Phoebe Buffay: Oh, right! Your adoption interview!
Monica Geller: Yep, we're gonna meet the lady who could be carrying our baby.
Joey Tribbiani: I can't believe it. When you guys come back, you're gonna have a baby! That is so weird!
Chandler Bing: And so incorrect!
Monica Geller: She's only a couple of months pregnant. She liked our application but who knows if she's gonna like us.
Ross Geller: Come on, she's gonna love you guys!
Chandler Bing: Uhm, thank you, but we're really trying not to get our hopes up.
Monica Geller: And a lot could still get in our way.
Chandler Bing: Yeah. I mean, this girl could decide against adoption or she could like another couple better..
Phoebe Buffay: What are you gonna name the baby?
Chandler Bing: I can develop a condition in which I talk and talk and no one hears a word.
Joey Tribbiani: But just think, ok? What if everything goes right? What if this woman does pick you guys?
Monica Geller: Oh my God. She's gonna pick us!
Chandler Bing: So we're standing firm on the 'not getting our hopes up'?
Monica Geller: You know, I know that things could still go wrong but if they don't? If this works out, we're gonna have a baby Chandler, a baby!
Chandler Bing: Yes, but...
Monica Geller: Oh my God, it's gonna WORK! We're gonna make it work! I'm gonna be a mummy and you're gonna be a daddy! All right, I'll see you suckers. I'm gonna get me... A BABY!
Chandler Bing: Oh, screw it, I'm gonna be a daddy!!
Rachel Green: Hey, who's Phoebe with?
Joey Tribbiani: I'm gonna say someone I'm gonna have sex with. Hey!
Phoebe Buffay: Hey!
Joey Tribbiani: So... who's your friend?
Phoebe Buffay: Oh, that's Sarah. No, no. Don't you get any ideas, ok? No, I'm not setting you up with any more of my friends!
Joey Tribbiani: OW, why, why, why?
Phoebe Buffay: Because you'll date her once, sleep with her and then forget she exists!
Joey Tribbiani: Oh, name one friend of yours that I did that with.
Phoebe Buffay: Mandy.
Joey Tribbiani: Mandy, uh? Uh... really hot blonde, big boobs?
Phoebe Buffay: No.
Joey Tribbiani: I know why I don't remember her, huh?
Rachel Green: Do you think I'm someone else?
Joey Tribbiani: Ok, I may not have treated your friends well in the past, but I have grown up a lot, really. Honest, Rach?
Rachel Green: Well, believe it or not, it's true. When Joey and I were together, he was wonderful. He was thoughtful and mature. And for the one week that we went out, he didn't sleep with anybody else!
Joey Tribbiani: Growth!
Phoebe Buffay: Fine, I'll give you her number.
Joey Tribbiani: Ok, thank you. And I promise you I will not forget this one. Mandy.
Phoebe Buffay: SARAH!
Joey Tribbiani: Saraaah.
Ross Geller: Hey!
Rachel Green: Hi!
Ross Geller: Hey you guys, I need some fashion advice.
Rachel Green: Oh!
Ross Geller: How does this look?
Rachel Green: Well, it's a little low... pick up a little... a little bit more... a little bit more... There you go! Now throw it away!
Ross Geller: C'mon! This looks good!
Rachel Green: Ross, please, trust me. I buy 30 fashion magazines a month. Now, I don't know who's running for president or who that... NATO guy is, but I do know that you have to get as far away as you can from that hat.
Ross Geller: Damnit! I have this date tomorrow night and I have to look cool!
Phoebe Buffay: Well, you know, if you want fashion help, Rachel and I are going shopping tomorrow. You're more than welcome to come with us, right?
Ross Geller: Really? That would be great. I mean, I have to do something, she kinda teased me about how I dress.
Joey Tribbiani: I can see why, nice shirt!
Ross Geller: You're wearing the same shirt.
Joey Tribbiani: Stupid Gap on every corner!
Agency Guy: Please, make yourself comfortable and I will back in a moment with Erica.
Monica Geller: Ok, thank you. Uh, well this is it. Are you OK?
Chandler Bing: Yeah. Just weird, you know. It's like: "Hi, I'm Chandler. May I have the human growing inside you?"
Monica Geller: Uh, we're gonna be great.
Chandler Bing: You're gonna be great.
Monica Geller: Well... obviously!
Agency Guy: Monica, Chandler. I'd like you to meet Erica.
Monica Geller: Hi. It is so, so nice to meet you.
Erica: Hi...
Chandler Bing: Thank you so much for agreeing to see us.
Erica: Hi.
Agency Guy: I'll let you get acquainted.
Chandler Bing: Ok.
Erica: So, it's Monica and Chandler. I only know you as file 0W33815-D.
Chandler Bing: That's what our friends call us.
Erica: Gosh, you know, you're just such an amazing couple. It's... kind of intimidating.
Monica Geller: I don't know about that.
Erica: You're kidding me? I mean, it's enough that you are a doctor. But on top of it, you're married to a reverend?
Chandler Bing: I don't think that's exactly...
Monica Geller: Let her finish, doctor.
Phoebe Buffay: Hey!
Joey Tribbiani: Hey.
Phoebe Buffay: Oh, my friend Sarah had a great time last night.
Joey Tribbiani: Well...
Phoebe Buffay: Yeah! So you're gonna call this one back?
Joey Tribbiani: Nope.
Phoebe Buffay: What are you talking about? Sarah's great!
Joey Tribbiani: Oh, really? You know what your great friend did? We're out to dinner, ok? We're getting along, having a really nice time. I was thinking she was really cool. And then, out of nowhere...
Phoebe Buffay: That's it? That's why you won't go out with her again? So, she took some fries, big deal!
Joey Tribbiani: Hey, hey, look! It's not about a few fries... it's about what the fries represent.
Phoebe Buffay: What?
Joey Tribbiani: ALL FOOD!
Phoebe Buffay: I'm sorry, I can't believe I set you up with such a MONSTER!
Joey Tribbiani: Hey, hey, hey, hey. Look. I take a girl out, she can order whatever she wants! The more, the better! All right? Just don't order a Garden salad and then eat my food! That's a good way to lose some fingers!
Phoebe Buffay: Oh.
Rachel Green: Hi.
Phoebe Buffay: Thank God you're here. Listen to this!
Rachel Green: what?
Phoebe Buffay: Joey and my friend were out last night and having dinner and she reaches over and takes a few of his fries...
Rachel Green: Oh! Oh, no!
Phoebe Buffay: What? You know about the plate thing?
Rachel Green: Oh, yeah. Joey doesn't share food. I mean, just last week we were having breakfast and he had a couple of grapes on his plate and ...
Phoebe Buffay: You wouldn't let her have a grape?
Rachel Green: Oh no! Not me! Emma!
Joey Tribbiani: JOEY DOESN'T SHARE FOOD!
Phoebe Buffay: Well, I still think that it's a stupid reason not to call someone again. You are calling her! And if you need to, just get an extra plate of fries for the table!
Joey Tribbiani: I like that! A sharing buffer! Yeah! I'll order some extra fries! Maybe a plate of onion rings. Yeah. And a shrimp cocktail. And some buffalo wings. Maybe an individual pizza, uh? And some mozzarella sticks. What were we talking about?
Phoebe Buffay: This place is awesome!
Ross Geller: You know, we should just go, I'm not gonna find anything here! This stuff is ridiculous!
Rachel Green: Ah, this place is great!
Phoebe Buffay: Wow!
Ross Geller: Rach, come on, I'm not gonna wear any of this! Nothing silver. . Ok? Nothing with hair! And nothing with padlocks on it! .
Rachel Green: Ross, look, I know that some of this stuff is out there, but I mean, come on, look at this, look at this sweater! . I mean, this is just beautiful!
Ross Geller: Wow, this is really soft . Three hundred and fifty dollars?
Rachel Green: Yeah, down from seven hundred, you are saving like two hundred bucks!
Ross Geller: Both logic and math are taking a serious hit today. Phoebe : Hey, check this out! It's totally you!
Ross Geller: Wow!
Phoebe Buffay: Yeah!
Ross Geller: Actually this looks like pretty good! Yeah! Boys will be boys?
Phoebe Buffay: What? They will be!
Ross Geller: All right, that's it, I'm getting out of here.
Rachel Green: No, no, no, no! Ross, wait! Come on! You know, there's other stuff. Here's a nice shirt, look at these nice pants...
Ross Geller: Uh, actually these might look pretty good on me.
Rachel Green: Yes, they will! You know what you should do? Just go take a walk, all right? I know your size and I'm... I'm gonna pick up some really good stuff for you.
Ross Geller: Really?
Rachel Green: Yes! And I know what looks sexy on guys. Please, just wear what I suggest, and she's gonna go nuts for you.
Ross Geller: So, you're saying, uh, if I wear these pants I might be getting into hers?
Rachel Green: Why do men keep talking to me like this?
Chandler Bing: So, the fact that I am a doctor, and my wife's a reverend, that's important to you?
Erica: Yeah, I read some great applications, but then I thought "who better then a minister to raise a child!"
Monica Geller: Amen.
Chandler Bing: Plus I thought the baby would be in good hands with a doctor!
Monica Geller: Uh, good hands. Healing hands.
Erica: Reverend, can I ask? Does the bible say anything about adoption?
Monica Geller: It says "Do it!". And behold she did adopt onto them a baby. And it was good.
Erica: Wow.
Chandler Bing: Yeah, wow.
Erica: I was wondering you both have such serious jobs. Would you have time to take care of a baby and your flock?
Monica Geller: Oh, you know, my flock is good, I mean, yeah, my flock pretty much takes care of themselves at this point. Good flock. Flock, flock, flock.
Erica: Being a doctor must take up a lot of time.
Chandler Bing: No-ot for me it doesn't.
Agency Guy: So, how's everything going in here?
Erica: We're great, I think I may have asked all my questions.
Agency Guy: Do you have any question for Erica?
Chandler Bing: Yeah, actually. So, you read a file that you liked and you gave the agency the serial number and they contacted us?
Agency Guy: Yes, our system assures total anonimity. We're very proud of it.
Chandler Bing: You should be. You're really on top of stuff..
Agency Guy: Well, then if there's nothing else, then the two of us should talk.
Erica: Actually, I don't think we have to.
Monica Geller: We don't?
Erica: Yeah, when I read about you two, I was pretty sure I wanted you, but I just thought we should meet face to face. . I've made my decision. I choose them.
Monica Geller: Oh my God, this is great! This is so great! . Did you hear that?
Chandler Bing: Yeah, I did.
Monica Geller: Hey, thank you. Thank you so much. . You are SO going to Heaven!
Rachel Green: We got some really great stuff!
Phoebe Buffay: Yeah, yeah but I am not sure about some of the bra's I got.
Rachel Green: Oh! Really? Do you wanna try some of them on for me?
Phoebe Buffay: Oh! okay. Wait, are we in Joey's imagination?
Rachel Green: Oh no! I took one of Ross' bags by mistake, and one of mine is missing.
Phoebe Buffay: oh, well, Ross probably has it, you can get it from him later.
Ross Geller: So? What do you think?
Joey Tribbiani: I think were not wearing the same shirt anymore!!
Ross Geller: Yeah! Yeah! Rachel picked it out for me. She told me to trust her and you know what? I'm glad I did! I turned quite a few heads on my way over here.
Joey Tribbiani: Dude, I really don't think you should be wearing that.
Ross Geller: Oh, I see, somebody is afraid of a little competition with the ladies?
Joey Tribbiani: Looks like someone IS the ladies!!
Ross Geller: You're just jealous because you couldn't pull this off. Yeah, now if you'll excuse me I have a date. See? ALL eyes on ME!
Chandler Bing: We are NOT signing those papers.
Monica Geller: Why not?
Chandler Bing: It's wrong. They made a mistake. They think we're somebody else.
Monica Geller: God works in mysterious ways.
Chandler Bing: You have gotta stop!
Monica Geller: But she liked us.
Chandler Bing: She likes Doctor Chandler and Reverend Monica.
Monica Geller: Well, if you think about it, I am kind of like a Reverend. I mean, as a chef, I serve God, by feeing the hungry and poor.
Chandler Bing: Your Veal Chop is $34,95!
Monica Geller: C'mon Chandler, I think we have been given an opportunity. I mean, the mistake has already been made. They are writing up the paper right now.
Chandler Bing: But we are not the one she chose! How can you feel okay about this?
Monica Geller: Because... We may not be who she thinks we are but no-one will ever love that baby more than us.
Chandler Bing: I know..
Monica Geller: I mean, who knows how long it's gonna take for someone else to give us a baby? What if, what if no one ever picks us?
Chandler Bing: oh, honey..
Monica Geller: Please.. please, we are so close.
Chandler Bing: Monica, I want a baby too, but this woman is giving away her child. She deserves to know who it's going to.
Monica Geller: okay, right.
Chandler Bing: So, we'll tell the truth and who knows, maybe she'll like us for us.
Monica Geller: Maybe she will. Uh! Why couldn't I have been a Reverend?
Chandler Bing: You're Jewish.
Monica Geller: Technicality!
Waiter: A garden salad for the lady.
Joey Tribbiani: Oh, that looks great! Good ordering!
Waiter: Seafood platter for the gentleman and extra fries. Enjoy!
Sarah: Mmmh, those fries look delicious.
Joey Tribbiani: oh, I didn't know you liked French fries. Help yourself! What's mine is yours.
Sarah: Oh wow, are those stuffed clams?
Joey Tribbiani: Uuuh.. yes, they are my stuffed clams.
Joey Tribbiani: How about those fries though, huh?
Sarah: They are delicious.
Joey Tribbiani: You are beautiful, you know that?
Sarah: Oh, that is so sweet..
Joey Tribbiani: Oh okay..
Joey Tribbiani: NOW look what you did!!
Sarah: What? what is the matter with you?
Joey Tribbiani: I don't like it when people take food off of my plate, okay?
Sarah: But you just said "What's mine is yours"?
Joey Tribbiani: WELL, I DIDN'T MEAN IT!
Sarah: Fine, I'm sorry, I didn't think it was that big a deal.
Joey Tribbiani: I'm sorry, I'm overreacting. Okay, It's just when it comes to food, I have certain rules, okay, I mean There are things you do..and you now, things.. that you don't do .
Girl: Wow, this place looks great.
Ross Geller: Oh! You are gonna love it! and I'm so glad, we're finally doing this.
Girl: Me too!
Ross Geller: Here So this was fun!
Joey Tribbiani: I really am sorry about, you know..before. I just want to make sure you know that I really do like you.
Sarah: Sure Just not as much as clams.
Joey Tribbiani: Well, stuffed clams.
Waiter: Chocolate Torte for the lady, cheesecake for the gentleman.
Joey Tribbiani: Uh, excuse me sir, there seems to be some sort of red crap on my cheesecake.
Waiter: Yes, that's Raspberry coule.
Joey Tribbiani: So stupid, ordering cheesecake, trying to be healthy.
Sarah: Oh my God!
Joey Tribbiani: Oh, all right, I'll just have what she's having instead.
Waiter: Oh, I'm sorry sir, that was our last piece.
Sarah: Mmmm! Mmm!
Sarah: Oh, no! This is work. I should call in. Can you excuse me?
Joey Tribbiani: Oh yeah, sure. No problem.
Sarah: What are you doing? I thought you don't share food.
Joey Tribbiani: Sure I do. Coule?
Sarah: No. If I can't have your clams, you can't have my dessert. This is a two way street.
Joey Tribbiani: Really?
Sarah: Really! Now this all better be here when I come back.
Joey Tribbiani: Yeah, of course. I can control myself.
Joey Tribbiani: Stop staring at me!
Joey Tribbiani: Why, just a tiny little...
Joey Tribbiani: Oh-oh! TIME LAPSE.
Joey Tribbiani: I'm not even sorry.
Erica: Hi!
Adoption Agency Guy: Hey.
Chandler Bing: Hey.
Agency Guy: So, these are the preliminary forms for an open adoption. There's a lot to go over, but I'll explain everything as we go through it.
Monica Geller: I-Is... Is that a picture?
Erica: Yeah. It's a sonogram they took of the baby last week. I thought you might want to see it.
Monica Geller: Look, doctor! Look, before we sign anything we really have to talk... We're not who you think we are.
Agency Guy: I don't understand.
Chandler Bing: The agency must have made some mistake. My wife is not a reverend and I'm not a doctor.
Erica: What?
Agency Guy: That's impossible.
Chandler Bing: I could perform an operation on you and prove it if you'd like.
Agency Guy: I'll go check your file. Excuse me.
Erica: So who are you?
Chandler Bing: Well, our names really are Monica and Chandler. We're from New York.
Monica Geller: Yeah, but the important thing to know about us, is how much we would care for this little baby.
Erica: So you lied to me before?
Monica Geller: Well, we... "bore false witness"... See I could be a reverend.
Erica: I can't believe this.
Monica Geller: But we were hoping that since we told you the truth that you still might consider...
Erica: Giving you my baby? You think I'd give you my child after this?
Monica Geller: Well, you don't have to decide right now, but if you could just look at our file...
Erica: I don't want to look at your file! This is over.
Chandler Bing: Erica wait!
Erica: I've nothing to say to you.
Chandler Bing: You have every reason to be upset. We did lie. But only because we've been waiting and trying to have a baby for so long. Now we don't know how long it's gonna be before we can get another chance again.
Erica: Why don't you ask the reverend to pray on it?
Chandler Bing: Erica, please. Just consider us. Ask them to see our file. Our last name's Bing. My wife's a chef and I'm in advertising.
Erica: Oh yeah. I actually liked you guys. But it doesn't matter, because what you did was wrong.
Chandler Bing: But you did like us. And you should. My wife's an incredible woman. She's loving and devoted and caring. And don't tell her I said this but the woman's always right... I love my wife more than anything in this world. And I... It kills me that I can't give her a baby... I really want a kid. And when that day finally comes, I'll learn how to be a good dad. But my wife... she's already there. She's a mother... without a baby... Please?
Chandler Bing: You still want that baby?
Monica Geller: God bless you Chandler Bing!
Ross Geller: Turns out this sweater is made for a woman.
Joey Tribbiani: So, why are you still wearing it?
Ross Geller: Because it's soft... Hey, so how was your date?
Joey Tribbiani: Ooh... Not so good.
Ross Geller: Well, looks like it's just the two of us tonight, huh old buddy?
Joey Tribbiani: Yeah, and you know what? We could do a lot worse.
Joey Tribbiani: JOEY DOESN'T SHARE FOOD! end.