Monica Geller: You look cute in bubbles.
Chandler Bing: Ehh, you're just liquored up.
Joey Tribbiani: Hey, it's me! I'm comin' in!
Chandler Bing: I've had a very long, hard day.
Joey Tribbiani: Ahh, I'm gonna go get some chicken. Want some?
Chandler Bing: Ahh, no thanks. No chicken, bye-bye then.
Joey Tribbiani: Okay.
Joey Tribbiani: You sure? Some extra crispy? Dirty rice? Beans?
Chandler Bing: For the last time no! Get out! Get out, Joey!
Joey Tribbiani: All right!
Chandler Bing: Are you okay? I'm so sorry, he wouldn't leave. He kept asking me about chicken.
Monica Geller: Chicken? I could eat some chicken.
Chandler Bing: Hey Joe!
Chandler Bing: Yeah, can I get a 3-piece, some cole slaw, some beans, and a Coke-(Yelps in
Phoebe Buffay: Hey!
Chandler Bing: Hey, Pheebs!
Joey Tribbiani: Mornin' Pheebs!
Phoebe Buffay: I have to tell you this story. Okay, I was coming over here and this driver...
Joey Tribbiani: Was his name Angus?
Phoebe Buffay: What?
Joey Tribbiani: Oh, he was this cab driver we had in London.
Phoebe Buffay: Oh. Ha-ha-ha. All right, anyway...
Monica Geller: Wait, what that place, that pub he took us too?
Chandler Bing: Uh, The Wheatsheaf.
Joey Tribbiani: Yeah-yeah-yeah, and they had that beer! That uh...
Monica Geller: Bodington's!
Everyone: Bodington's! Woohoo!
Chandler Bing: Ooh! Ahh, Pheebs, was gonna tell a story.
Phoebe Buffay: Yeah, so, he had a really funny hat-I don't want to talk about it.
Ross Geller: Hey!
Everyone: Hey!
Joey Tribbiani: Hey, Ross, Bodington's!
Ross Geller: Yeah!
Joey Tribbiani: That was good beer.
Ross Geller: Ohh...
Joey Tribbiani: Y'know, I'd walk back to London for another frosty one of those bad boys.
Ross Geller: Y'know, I think they have those at that British pub near the trade center.
Joey Tribbiani: Later!
Ross Geller: Isn't Rachel supposed to be back by now?
Monica Geller: Yeah, but her plane got delayed in Athens. But actually, she should be here by now.
Ross Geller: Oh, so-so you talked to her. Did she, did she sound mad?
Monica Geller: No, but she likes me. You abandoned her on a plane to Greece.
Ross Geller: Okay, I did not abandon Rachel! Okay? Emily showed up at the airport! I had to go after her! I mean, I-I did what I had to do! She's my wife! Rachel is my wife! Y'know-Emily! Emily, is my wife! Man, what is that?
Phoebe Buffay: So you still hadn't heard from Emily?
Ross Geller: No, not since I lost her at the airport.
Chandler Bing: I can't believe she can out run you man!
Ross Geller: HEY, SHE'S FAST!! OKAY?!! Oh! You-you think you can be beat me? Let's go! Outside!!
Rachel Green: Hi!
Everyone: Hey!
Ross Geller: Rach, Rach, I am so sorry. I am so-so sorry.
Rachel Green: Oh Ross, come on! You just did what you had to do.
Ross Geller: That's it? You're not mad? I mean, it must've been terrible.
Rachel Green: Terrible? Hell, I was in Greece! That was a nice hotel! Nice beach, met the nice people. Not to shabby for Rachel.
Ross Geller: So, what? That's it?
Rachel Green: Well, yeah! We're cool. Totally cool.
Ross Geller: Oh, thanks. Oh, you're the best.
Rachel Green: Oh no, you're the best.
Ross Geller: Ohh, I gotta go to the flower store! Check it out, no one will tell me where Emily is, so I'm gonna send 72 long-stem, red roses to Emily's parent's house, one for each day that I've known and loved her. That oughta get her talking to me again.
Chandler Bing: Oh, Ross, when you make out card; be sure to make it out to, EM-I-LY.
Monica Geller: Rach, that's great! It's so good that you had a good time in Greece!
Rachel Green: What?! I didn't have a good time in Greece! Ross abandoned me! Okay, I couldn't get a plane out, so I had to stay in their honeymoon suite with people coming up to me all the time going, "Oh, Mrs. Geller, why are you crying?" I mean, it was sooo humiliating. I felt like such an idiot! I mean, it's all my fault! And you know why, because I make very bad decisions.
Chandler Bing: Oh that's not true.
Rachel Green: Yes it is! It is true! I went, I went after Ross in stupid London.
Phoebe Buffay: London is stupid! Stupid!
Rachel Green: Phoebe, you were right. I should've never gone to London, and from now on you make all of my decisions for me.
Phoebe Buffay: Oh... No, I did that for someone once and I'm not comfortable having that kind of power and control over someone's life.
Monica Geller: I'll do it!
Rachel Green: That's fine. So Monica, you are now in control of my love life.
Chandler Bing: Okay, I gotta go to work.
Chandler Bing: And uh, Rachel, glad to have you back.
Chandler Bing: Pheebs! Always a pleasure.
Monica Geller: Oh, Rachel, sweetie, look, here's a really cute picture of Joey and you at the reception.
Rachel Green: Ohh, he's married! Ross is married. I can't-I still can't believe it.
Monica Geller: Honey, sweetie, by the edges.
Rachel Green: I mean, y'know I'm just gonna have to accept it ...
Monica Geller: Ohh.
Rachel Green: ...I mean it's my fault.
Monica Geller: Sweetie! Edges! Fingers! Smudgey! Pictures!
Rachel Green: Oh my God!
Monica Geller: Okay. That's okay. I-I know that you're very upset right now. I know, I know that wasn't about me.
Joey Tribbiani: I bet it was about her a little.
Monica Geller: If you would stop thinking about Ross for one minute you would notice that there are great guys everywhere! I mean, look! Look, Gunther! I mean, he's nice, he's cute.
Rachel Green: Yeah, I guess Gunther is kinda...
Monica Geller: Oh, what about that guy over there? Remember? That is the guy you flirted with at the counter that time.
Rachel Green: Oh, I don't know. I don't know.
Monica Geller: You're going to talk to him! Y'know what? We made a deal, I make your decisions and I say you're going to talk to him.
Rachel Green: All right, you're the boss. I guess I gotta do what you tell me.
Joey Tribbiani: Say that to him and you're golden.
Phoebe Buffay: Hey!
Rachel Green: Hey!
Joey Tribbiani: Hey, Pheebs!
Monica Geller: We got out pictures back from London. Here's all of us at the Tower of London.
Phoebe Buffay: Oh! Here we all are! Yeah, there's Ross and Joey and you and me.
Chandler Bing: All right, y'know what, we've been talking about London too much haven't we?
Phoebe Buffay: No. I'm sorry. It's just 'cause I couldn't be there. 'Cause all I ever get to do now is pregnant stuff, it just bums me out.
Everyone: Sorry.
Monica Geller: What happened?
Rachel Green: Well, y'know, a little of this, a little of that. Got myself a date tomorrow night.
Monica Geller: See, didn't I tell you?! You're getting over Ross already!
Rachel Green: Well...
Gunther: Get out!
Monica Geller: What took you so long?
Chandler Bing: I got caught up and work, but I'm quitting tomorrow.
Monica Geller: Oh, good.
Chandler Bing: So, thanks for having me over! Rach. Pheebs.
Joey Tribbiani: See ya!! What the hell was that?!
Monica Geller: Probably some y'know, European good-bye thing he picked up in London.
Rachel Green: That's not European!
Phoebe Buffay: Well, it felt French.
Rachel Green: Oh God, I really had a good time!
Dave: Yeah, me too. So, I guess this is it.
Rachel Green: Yeah. Umm, unless you wanna come inside?
Dave: Yeah!
Rachel Green: Okay. Oh, uh, wait a minute, y'know what? I uh, I can't decide this. Umm, okay, just hold on a second.
Dave: Okay, yeah!
Rachel Green: Umm, hi!
Ross Geller: Hi.
Rachel Green: Is Monica around? I-I have to ask her something.
Ross Geller: She's doing her laundry.
Rachel Green: What's that?
Ross Geller: It came in the mail today, it's uh, 72 long-stemmed red roses, one for each day that I've known and loved Emily, cut up into mulch!
Rachel Green: Oh, honey that's awful.
Ross Geller: Oh, it's not so bad. Monica's gonna make potpourri! I think I'm gonna go wander out in the rain for a while.
Rachel Green: But, it's not raining.
Ross Geller: I can't catch a break!
Rachel Green: Y'know what Ross? You're not going anywhere. You're gonna sit right here. I'm gonna make you a cup of tea and we're gonna talk this thing whole out. All right? Hey, Dave!
Dave: Yeah?
Rachel Green: Umm, listen, I'm gonna need to take a rain check, my roommate is just really sick. Okay? Bye! Honey, listen, I know, I know things seem so bad right now.
Monica Geller: Rach? Can I talk to for just a minute? I-I dropped some socks.
Rachel Green: Yeah.
Monica Geller: What is the matter with you?! Do you want to fall into the trap? Do you want to fall into the trap?!
Rachel Green: Ohh! You did not drop any socks!
Monica Geller: I just ran into Dave and he told me that you blew him off! I mean, you listen to me! Now, I'm calling the shots! I say you leave Ross alone and go get Dave! What the hell were you trying to do?
Rachel Green: Well, ultimately, I was trying y'know, I-I wanted...tell him y'know, that I'm still in love with him.
Monica Geller: What?!! You cannot tell him that!!
Rachel Green: Why? Why not?! People love to hear that!
Monica Geller: I make the decisions, and I say no.
Rachel Green: Well, y'know what, no, you do not make my decisions because y'know what, you're fired.
Monica Geller: You can't fire me. I make your decisions and I say, "I'm not fired!" Ha!
Rachel Green: Well...
Monica Geller: Rachel!! Come on! Let me in!
Joey Tribbiani: Havin' some trouble?
Monica Geller: Rachel locked the door.
Joey Tribbiani: I'll kick that door in if you give me a little sugar.
Monica Geller: Rachel! Let me in! Rachel!
Monica Geller: Thank you. Rachel, can I talk to you outside for a sec?
Rachel Green: No.
Monica Geller: I really need to talk to you.
Rachel Green: Well, then talk!
Monica Geller: Okay, I will. Remember that thing that we just discussed that you wanted to do?
Rachel Green: Yes!
Ross Geller: What thing?
Monica Geller: Well, Rachel wants to take swing dance lessons. Which I think is a really stupid idea! It's dangerous, she's never gonna get what she wants, and who knows who she might end up hurting.
Ross Geller: Monica's right, swing dancing can be tricky. I'm gonna use the phone. I gotta cancel those five giant teddy bears I sent to Emily. My God, think of the massacre.
Rachel Green: I'm gonna do it.
Monica Geller: All right, Rachel, I know-I know you think I'm crazy, please, before you tell him you love him, just-just try to find one person who thinks this is a good idea. Because I bet you, you can't.
Rachel Green: But I...
Monica Geller: Please!
Rachel Green: All right, fine.
Monica Geller: Joey, I'm in!
Joey Tribbiani: All right. Good deal.
Everyone: Pheebs! Hey Pheebs!
Joey Tribbiani: Uh, okay, Pheebs?
Phoebe Buffay: Yeah?
Joey Tribbiani: Umm, y'know how the other day you were talking about how you didn't get to go to London and how you were kinda feeling left out?
Phoebe Buffay: Yeah?
Joey Tribbiani: All right, well, we felt really bad about that so we decided we should all take a little trip together!
Phoebe Buffay: Ohh, that's so nice! How great! Well, where? Where's the trip?!
Monica Geller: Well, we thought we would all go to a picnic , in Central Park!
Phoebe Buffay: Central... Park!
Joey Tribbiani: Yeah, all of us! All day!
Phoebe Buffay: That sucks! That's not a trip! I just came from the park! What are we gonna high five about at the stupid Central Park? "Well, it's right by my house, all right!"
Chandler Bing: Well, I'm gonna go home and bask in the triumph of my Central Park idea.
Rachel Green: Hey-whoa-whoa-whoa!! Ho-ho-hold on a sec there, Mr. Kissey! Y'know, I've been meaning to talk to you about this whole, little, new European thing you got going on, and I just need to tell you that it makes me very uncomfortable and I just-y'know-stop it!
Chandler Bing: I was just trying to bring a little culture to the group.
Phoebe Buffay: That's fine, just don't bring it in my mouth.
Monica Geller: Makes me wanna puke!
Ross Geller: Hey everybody, Pheebs is here!
Joey Tribbiani: Phoebe!
Chandler Bing: Hey, Pheebs!
Rachel Green: Phoebe, woo!
Phoebe Buffay: Okay, woo! Hi.
Chandler Bing: Okay, Pheebs, we decided the picnic idea was a little... Y'know, it didn't have any... It-it, well it blew. So, we thought, that this afternoon that we would all go away for the whole weekend to, Atlantic City!
Phoebe Buffay: Ooh, Atlantic City! Oh, that's a great plan! Who's plan was that?
Joey Tribbiani: Mine!
Ross Geller: Wait! It was my plan.
Joey Tribbiani: Nooo, I said we needed a new plan.
Ross Geller: And, I came up with Atlantic City.
Joey Tribbiani: Which, is the new plan!
Monica Geller: Okay, well, why don't we all meet upstairs in an hour?
Phoebe Buffay: Okay! Ooh-ahh, I'm gonna go pack. I'm gonna go pack my ass off!
Monica Geller: Come on Rach, let's go.
Rachel Green: Yeah, y'know what? I'm-I'm gonna meet you upstairs in a minute.
Monica Geller: No! Rachel, you didn't find anyone so you can't tell him.
Rachel Green: Well, y'know what, that doesn't matter.
Monica Geller: Okay, Rachel, do you have any idea how painful it is to tell someone that you love them and not have them say it back?
Rachel Green: Yeah, I-I don't care.
Monica Geller: Okay. I-I can't watch.
Rachel Green: What 'cha readin'?
Ross Geller: The paper.
Rachel Green: Yeah, what's it about?
Ross Geller: Events from around the globe.
Rachel Green: Okay. Uhh, Ross, y'know what, there's something that I-that I have to talk to you about and everybody's saying that I shouldn't tell you, but I think they're wrong. I mean, and you know how people can be wrong.
Ross Geller: Sure. Once, at work I-I thought carbon dating was fossilized...
Rachel Green: Okay, Ross, I'm really trying to tell you something here.
Ross Geller: Yeah.
Rachel Green: Okay.
Ross Geller: Go ahead.
Rachel Green: Umm, okay, I think I'm-I'm just gonna-just gonna say it. Just gonna say it. Uhh, I'm still in love with you Ross.
Ross Geller: Wow. Umm... Huh... I'm-I'm not sure what to do with that right now.
Ross Geller: What? What? Was that a joke? 'Cause it's mean.
Rachel Green: I'm so dead serious. I'm totally serious.
Ross Geller: Why are you laughing?
Rachel Green: Because , because, I just heard it. I heard it, and it's ridiculous! I mean, you're married. You're-you're married and it's just ridiculous, and it's like, it's like when said it, I sort of like, I floated up out of my body, y'know? And, and-and then I heard myself say it and then the floating Rachel was like, "You are such an idiot!"
Ross Geller: Well, well I am married. Even though I haven't spoken to my wife since the wedding.
Rachel Green: I'm sorry, that's not funny.
Ross Geller: Actually, it kinda is. My wife won't return my calls. I don't know where my wife is. "Hey Ross, where's the Mrs.?" Don't know!
Rachel Green: Oh God, ohh, okay, y'know what, do you think ah, do you think that you just forget that I told you this?
Ross Geller: Well, I kinda half to. I mean, because the thing is...
Rachel Green: The thing is y'know, that you're married to Emily.
Ross Geller: That is what the thing is.
Rachel Green: Ross, things aren't gonna be weird between us, right? I mean was that just the stupidest thing, me telling you that?
Ross Geller: No. No. No, I'm-I'm glad you did. Look, if nothing else, it's-it's always great when someone tells you they love you.
Rachel Green: That's what I said! Thank you for being so nice.
Ross Geller: No thank you for... Thank you.
Ross Geller: Okay, let's go!
Chandler Bing: Atlantic City!
Phoebe Buffay: Atlantic City, baby! Let's roll some bones! Hey Joey, high-five for rolling bones!
Joey Tribbiani: Uh, Pheebs, you're leaking?
Monica Geller: Oh my God! You're water broke!
The Guys: Ohh!
Phoebe Buffay: All right. Well, don't worry, I call shotgun!
Everyone: Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa! Wait-wait!
Chandler Bing: Pheebs! We have to take you to the hospital now!
Ross Geller: Pheebs, Pheebs, the babies are coming now.
Rachel Green: High-five, the babies are coming!
Phoebe Buffay: Wait, wait, remember when my water broke?
Monica Geller: I can't believe Phoebe's gonna have her babies!
Chandler Bing: I know, it's beautiful. Amazing.
Chandler Bing: Y'know what else I can't believe? I had to kiss Phoebe and Rachel every time I left a room, I mean it's too bad they didn't see us having sex.
Monica Geller: Do you know anything about women?
Chandler Bing: No.
Monica Geller: That's all right.
Chandler Bing: Okay.


Phoebe Buffay: Hi.
Nurse: Hi.
Phoebe Buffay: Hi, yeah, hi! I'm umm, Phoebe Buffay, and I have babies coming out of me.
Nurse: Okay. Have you started having contractions?
Phoebe Buffay: Not yet. Umm, I heard they really hurt, do they hurt?
Nurse: Well...
Phoebe Buffay: Oh my God!
Ross Geller: It's all right.
Nurse: Now, which of you is the father?
Phoebe Buffay: Oh no, none of them are the father. The father is my brother.
Nurse: Okay...
Rachel Green: I am so gonna miss watching you freak people out like that!
Joey Tribbiani: Okay, uh Pheebs, quick. Look! This is for the babies to look at someday, so is-is there anything you want to say? Y'know before it all starts?
Phoebe Buffay: Oh, okay, umm, hi kids! Um, it's me, Aunt Phoebe. I can't wait to see you. Please don't hurt me!
Ross Geller: Hey, what took you guys so long? Your cab left when ours did!
Monica Geller: Well, we-we had to go back because I forget my jacket.
Chandler Bing: That's right.
Rachel Green: You-you're not wearing a jacket.
Monica Geller: Oh man! I did it again!
Phoebe Buffay: Okay, so umm, somebody has to call Frank and Alice. And then my mom wants to know-Joey, what are you doing?!
Joey Tribbiani: I gotta get the before shot!
Rachel Green: Hi, Pheebs? Okay, so just spoke to the nurse and the reason that your doctor is late is because uh, she's not coming.
Phoebe Buffay: What?!
Ross Geller: Apparently she fell in the shower and hit her head.
Phoebe Buffay: Oh my God, she's so stupid!
Ross Geller: Look, Pheebs-Pheebs, it's gonna be okay.
Phoebe Buffay: That's easy for you to say, I don't see three kids coming out your vagina!
Rachel Green: Honey, listen, y'know what? The nurse said the doctor is wonderful.
Ross Geller: Yeah, he's head of the department.
Phoebe Buffay: All right-Ooh! Oh dead God, save me!
Monica Geller: What?
Phoebe Buffay: I'm having my first contraction!
Chandler Bing: Oh no.
Phoebe Buffay: Ooh, it's not bad.
Chandler Bing: Okay.
Joey Tribbiani: Oh! And so the miracle of life begins, and aaiiyyyeeee!
Chandler Bing: Hey! You okay?
Joey Tribbiani: Ooh, something hurts!
Phoebe Buffay: Ooh, it's sympathy pains. Ohh, that's so sweet!
Joey Tribbiani: Are they? I didn't know I cared that much.
Ross Geller: Hello.
Dr. Harad: Hi! Phoebe, I'm Dr. Harad, I'm going to be delivering your babies. I want you to know, you're gonna be in good hands. I've been doing this for a long time. I'll be back in a minute to do your internal, in the meantime, just relax because everything here looks great. And also, I love Fonzie.
Chandler Bing: Did he just say, he loves Fonzie?
Monica Geller: That's what it sounded like.
Chandler Bing: All right...
Frank Buffay Jr.: Hey!
Everyone: Hey!
Frank Buffay Jr.: Hey! Am I late? Am I late? Nobody came out yet, right?
Phoebe Buffay: No-no-no! We haven't started yet. Where's Alice?
Frank Buffay Jr.: Uh, Delaware. She's on her way though, so until she gets here, I'm gonna be your coach. But don't worry, she told me all about the la-Mazada stuff.
Chandler Bing: Yeah, that's when if you get the babies out by the end of the month, they give you 2% financing.
Frank Buffay Jr.: Yeah.
Rachel Green: Monica? You gonna be very proud of me. I just got us dates with two unbelievably cute nurses.
Joey Tribbiani: Oh my!
Rachel Green: They're male nurses.
Joey Tribbiani: Not in my head.
Rachel Green: Anyway, they want to take us out Saturday night! What do you say?
Monica Geller: Umm. Umm. Umm. I don't think so.
Rachel Green: What? What are you talking about?! You-you're the one who's been telling me to get over Ross and move on. I'm moving on, and you're moving on with me. Come on, give me one good reason why you don't wanna go.
Monica Geller: Umm, why don't you give me something that would be a good reason and-and then I'll tell you if it's true.
Rachel Green: What?
Monica Geller: Harder than it sounds. Isn't it?
Rachel Green: Okay, you're coming with me, and I also told them that if we're still here when they get off that we'll go down to the cafeteria and have some Jell-O with them.
Joey Tribbiani: Yep! There's always room for Jell-O...
Rachel Green: Joey, how do you make that dirty?
Joey Tribbiani: Oh, it's easy. Yeah, I-I can do it with anything. Watch uh, Grandma's chicken salad...
Joey Tribbiani: Ross! Get a shot of this. Hey babies! These are the headlines on the day you were born! Okay, now girl baby turn away and boy babies... Check it out, huh?! This is what naked women looked like the month you were born. All right, now let's dive right into the good stuff.
Phoebe Buffay: Oh, okay, I'm having another one! This one doesn't hurt either-Ooh, yes it does! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ooh! Oh, I was kinda hoping that was it.
Ross Geller: Hey, where are Monica and Rachel anyway?
Joey Tribbiani: Oh, a couple of nurses asked them out. Maybe they're with them.
Chandler Bing: Really? Male nurses?
Joey Tribbiani: Yeah, I was bummed too.
Chandler Bing: So they're going on dates? When?
Joey Tribbiani: I think Saturday-.
Frank Buffay Jr.: What's with him?
Phoebe Buffay: Umm, sympathy pains. I thought it was really sweet at first, but now I think he's just trying to steal my thunder.
Dr. Harad: Okay!
Phoebe Buffay: Hey.
Dr. Harad: Let's see what we got here. Ohh, y'know, Fonzie dated triplets.
Chandler Bing: This-this Fonzie person you keep referring too, is that uh, is that another doctor?
Dr. Harad: Oh no-no-no. Fonzie is the nickname of Arthur Fonzerelli. The Fonz.
Chandler Bing: All right.
Frank Buffay Jr.: It's not that weird, is it?
Phoebe Buffay: It's very weird! I don't want some guy down there telling me, I'm y'know, dilatedamundo!
Ross Geller: To be fair, he doesn't seem to be impersonating Fonzie...
Phoebe Buffay: What are you doing?!! Why are you defending him?! Just get me another doctor! One who is not crazy and who is not Fonzie!
Ross Geller: Again, it's not that he...
Chandler Bing: Oh-hey-hey-hey! There you are!
Monica Geller: Umm, listen there's something I think you should know.
Chandler Bing: Oh, is this about you-you dating the nurse? Yeah, Joey already told me, and I am so-so fine. I mean, you and I we're just, y'know, we're nothing, we're goofin' around.
Monica Geller: Umm, actually I was about to tell you that I was, I was going to get out of it, but hey, if we're just goofing around then uh, maybe I will go out with him.
Chandler Bing: Fine! Maybe I will too!
Joey Tribbiani: Hey, you guys! Look what I found in the giiiiiiift shop. Get up! Get up! Get up!
Ross Geller: Okay, Phoebe, this Dr. Oberman. He has no strong feelings about Fonzie or any of the Happy Days gang.
Phoebe Buffay: Hi! And you're going into what grade?
Dr. Oberman: Umm, I'm actually a first year resident, but I get that a lot, you see, I-I graduated early...
Phoebe Buffay: Uh-huh, me too. Ross, maybe I should've specified that I'd be needing a grown up doctor.
Dr. Oberman: Oh no, I'm fully qualified to...
Phoebe Buffay: Shh! Doogie, shh! Doesn't anybody understand that I'm gonna be having babies soon? Huh? Go! Go little boy, go!
Frank Buffay Jr.: Oh cool! You made him cry!
Joey's Doctor: Mr. Tribbiani, I'm afraid you've got kidney stones.
Joey Tribbiani: Umm, well, what else could it be?
Joey's Doctor: It's kidney stones.
Joey Tribbiani: Or?
Joey's Doctor: Kidney stones!
Dr. Harad: All right, you're getting there. Oh, and y'know, these babies are very, very lucky.
Phoebe Buffay: They are. Why?
Dr. Harad: They have the honor of being born on The Fonz's half-birthday.
Phoebe Buffay: Happy birthday!
Dr. Harad: Just-just to clarify, I'm not Fonzie.
Rachel Green: Honey, y'know I just gotta tell you, I think this is such a terrific thing you're having these babies for Frank and Alice.
Phoebe Buffay: I know, it is.
Rachel Green: Yeah!
Phoebe Buffay: Can I tell you a little secret?
Rachel Green: Yeah!
Phoebe Buffay: I want to keep one.
Rachel Green: Ohh, I'm gonna be on the news!
Rachel Green: Okay, Phoebe, honey, you gotta be kidding. I mean, you know you cannot keep one of these babies!
Phoebe Buffay: Why not?! Maybe I can, you don't know!
Rachel Green: Yes! Yes! Yes, I do! I do know! Frank and Alice are gonna want to keep all of their children!
Phoebe Buffay: Maybe not! Y'know? Seriously, three babies are a handful maybe they're y'know, looking for a chance to unload one of them. Listen, I-I hate to miss an opportunity just because I didn't ask! Y'know?
Rachel Green: Phoebe, no! This is, this is insane.
Phoebe Buffay: Oh, just ask him!
Rachel Green: Me?!
Phoebe Buffay: I can't ask him! Do you have any idea how inappropriate that would be?! All I'm saying is just talk to Frank. Okay? Just, y'know, feel him out!
Rachel Green: No! Forget it! I am not gonna ask Frank to give you one of his kids!!
Phoebe Buffay: You're right.
Phoebe Buffay: Tell him it's for you.
Monica Geller: Feeling a little better sweetie?
Joey Tribbiani: Well, maybe a little. I wish you hadn't seen me throw up.
Monica Geller: Me too.
Ross Geller: Hey! I just heard. What's up?
Joey's Doctor: Kidney stones! Now, ordinarily Mr. Tribbiani, we try to break up the stones up with shock waves, but they're to close to the bladder now. Which means we can either wait for you to pass them or else go up the urethra...
Joey Tribbiani: Whoa-whoa! No-no-no-no-no, nothing is going up! Okay? Up, up is not an option-what's a urethra? Are you crazy?!
Phoebe Buffay: So did you ask him?
Rachel Green: No, I haven't had a chance to be alone with him yet.
Phoebe Buffay: Well, I'm kinda on a clock here.
Dr. Harad: Oh Fonzie.
Rachel Green: Y'know who I always liked? Mork.
Phoebe Buffay: Undo it. Undo it. Undo it.
Dr. Harad: Fonzie met Mork. Mork froze Fonzie.
Rachel Green: Yeah, but umm... Yes, but, Fonzie was already cool, so he wasn't hurt, right?
Dr. Harad: Yeah, that's right.
Monica Geller: Hey!
Phoebe Buffay: Hi!
Monica Geller: How are you doing?
Phoebe Buffay: Okay, doctor says any minute now.
Frank Buffay Jr.: Hey, y'know, Alice is gonna be here so soon, you couldn't just like do me a favor and like, like hold them in?
Phoebe Buffay: Sorry Frank, I'm kinda in the middle of the last favor you asked me to do.
Male Nurse: Hey!
Rachel Green: Hi!
Male Nurse: Rachel.
Rachel Green: Monica, this is Dan , one of the guys that we're gonna be going out with on Saturday. Uh Dan, Monica.
Dan: Nice to meet you.
Monica Geller: Hello Dan! I'm really looking forward to Saturday night! Really, really!
Chandler Bing: So Dan, nurse not a doctor huh? Kinda girlie isn't it?
Monica Geller: Chandler!
Dan: Nah that's okay. I'm just doing this to put myself through medical school.
Chandler Bing: Oh.
Dan: And it didn't feel so girlie during the Gulf War.
Chandler Bing: Sure. And listen, thanks for doing that for us, by the way.
Monica Geller: So, why wait 'til Saturday, are you free tomorrow?
Dan: Sure! I'll get somebody to cover my shift.
Monica Geller: Oh, great!
Chandler Bing: Hey, how 'bout it? You, me, Saturday night?
Delivery Room Nurse: No.
Chandler Bing: All right. Very good.
Phoebe Buffay: Oo, this is a big one. Eww! Arghhhh!!
Joey Tribbiani: Ohh, get these things out of me!
Ross Geller: Breathe! Breathe! Breathe throw the pain.
Joey Tribbiani: I want the drugs Ross, I want the drugs!
Ross Geller: I do too! I do too!
Joey Tribbiani: Argh!
Ross Geller: Argh!
Joey Tribbiani: Argh!
Ross Geller: Argh!
Frank Buffay Jr.: Yeah, I love you. Okay, bye! Hi!
Rachel Green: Hi!
Frank Buffay Jr.: That was Alice's mom, she said she left five hours ago. She should be here by now!
Rachel Green: Oh, honey, don't worry. She's gonna make it on time.
Frank Buffay Jr.: Yeah.
Rachel Green: Yeah. So Frank, three babies. Whew, that just seems like a lot, huh?
Frank Buffay Jr.: Not to me.
Rachel Green: Yeah, fair enough.
Dr. Harad: Okay, you're at ten centimeters. Time to start having some babies. All right, I want only the father in here please.
Monica Geller: Bye Dan!
Dan: Uh, bye Monica.
Chandler Bing: Bye, momi-moo.
Dr. Harad: All right, I need a clamp, sterile towel, and channel 31.
Phoebe Buffay: What is that?
Phoebe Buffay: Oh my God!
Dr. Harad: Oh, no-no-no, it's a good one! Fonzie plays the bongos. All right, are you ready? It's time to start pushing.
Joey's Doctor: Are you ready? It's time to try peeing. Wait-wait-wait-wait-wait! It's almost time to try peeing.
Dr. Harad: Okay, now push! That's it push! Just concentrate on pushing! Yeah, here we go!
Dan: I see the head.
Frank Buffay Jr.: Yes, it has a head!
Dr. Harad: All right. Keep pushing! Come on!
Frank Buffay Jr.: I can't believe there's somebody coming out of you right now. There's somebody coming out of you! Is it? Is it? It's my son.
Dr. Harad: All right. Here's your first baby.
Frank Buffay Jr.: YESSSSS!!!!! We got a baby boy!!
Chandler Bing: Yes!
Frank Buffay Jr.: Frank Jr. Jr.!!
Rachel Green: Oh, how does he look? How does he look?
Frank Buffay Jr.: So gross!
Dr. Harad: Okay. You ready to push again?
Phoebe Buffay: I already had a baby. Leave me alone.
Frank Buffay Jr.: Okay, okay, come on, you can do it. You can do it!
Frank Buffay Jr.: Yeah!! Little Leslie is here! We got another one! Oh my God, I can't believe I have two-two children. How scary is that?
Frank Buffay Jr.: Come on little Chandler, it's time to be born. Come on little Chandler! Come on!
Dr. Harad: All right, he's coming. He's coming!
Frank Buffay Jr.: Hey, where's his thing?
Frank Buffay Jr.: Chandler's a girl!
Chandler Bing: Oh God, kindergarten flashback.
Frank Buffay Jr.: They musta read the sonogram wrong. 'Cause they, 'cause they thought it was a boy, but Chandler's a girl! Chandler's a girl!
Chandler Bing: Okay, keep saying it!
Alice Knight: Am I too late?!
Frank Buffay Jr.: No-no ah, everything's okay. Everybody's healthy there's 30 fingers and 30 toes.
Alice Knight: We have our babies?
Frank Buffay Jr.: Yeah.
Alice Knight: Oh, we have our babies.
Joey Tribbiani: Oh my God.
Ross Geller: You did it, man.
Joey's Doctor: Would you like to see them?
Joey Tribbiani: They're so small!
Dan: So, I'll call you tomorrow.
Monica Geller: Great!
Chandler Bing: So, are you really gonna go out with that nurse man?
Monica Geller: Well uh, you and I are just goofing around, I thought, why not goof around with him.
Chandler Bing: Y'know, I don't know if you've ever looked up the term goofing around in the dictionary... Well, I have, and the technical definition is, two friends who care a lot about each other and have amazing sex and just wanna spend more time together. But if you have this new fangled dictionary that gets you made at me, then we have to, y'know, get you my original dictionary. I am so bad at this.
Monica Geller: I think you're better than you think you are.
Chandler Bing: Really? Okay, so...
Monica Geller: Know when to stop.
Chandler Bing: Y'know, I sensed that I should stop. So we're okay?
Monica Geller: Yeah. All right, I'm gonna go tell Dan that it's not gonna happen. Don't do the dance.
Chandler Bing: Right!
Monica Geller: I think you're my favorite.
Phoebe Buffay: Which one do you have?
Monica Geller: I don't care.
Rachel Green: Hi. Hey, hi! So uh, Frank and Alice wanted me to tell you that they're still outside making phone calls.
Phoebe Buffay: But umm, I mean, did you talk to them about, y'know...
Rachel Green: Yeah, umm, no honey.
Phoebe Buffay: Oh. It was a long shot. Hey, you guys can I just like have a second alone with the babies.
Everyone: Yeah, sure yeah. Yeah.
Phoebe Buffay: So, here you are. It seems like yesterday I was talking to you in that little petri dish. Everyone said labor was the hardest thing I'd ever have to do, but they were wrong this is. Oh, I had the most fun with you guys! I wish I could take you home and see you everyday. Okay, I'll settle for being your favorite Aunt. I know Alice's sister has a pool, but you lived in me. Okay, so we're cool. Yeah, we're gonna be great. Little high fives! Ahh! Ahh! Ahh! Well, if you're gonna cry.
Monica Geller: Phoebe, we are so proud of you! You're amazing!
Phoebe Buffay: I know.
Rachel Green: So does it really hurt as bad as they say?
Phoebe Buffay: Yeah. You won't be able to take it.
Chandler Bing: So uh, now that little Chandler turned out to be a girl, what are they gonna name her?
Phoebe Buffay: They're gonna call her Chandler.
Chandler Bing: That's kind of a masculine name, don't you think?
Phoebe Buffay: Works on you.


Monica Geller: Come in. I've been waiting for you.
Rachel Green: Hi! I just wanna-Ahhh!!! Oh my God! Oh my God!
Monica Geller: Okay, I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I-I-I was um, I was taking a nap.
Rachel Green: Since when do take naps in that position. Oh God Monica, tell me you were waiting for a guy! Please tell me you were waiting for a guy!
Monica Geller: Yes. Yes, I was. A guy. From work. I'm seeing a guy from work! Ha!
Rachel Green: That cute waiter guy from your restaurant, the one that looks like a non-threatening Ray Liotta?
Monica Geller: Uh-huh, that one!
Rachel Green: Y'know what, just give me a second and I'll be out of your hair. I'm just gonna grab a jacket. When I get back, I want every little detail. Maybe that's him.
Monica Geller: Okay, umm, okay, umm... It's just Joey and Ross.
Rachel Green: Why aren't you guys at the movie?
Joey Tribbiani: Well, we were! But Ross was talking so loud on his phone they threw us out!
Ross Geller: I had to talk loud because the movie was loud!
Joey Tribbiani: He's talking to London!
Monica Geller: But why?! Did he get in touch with Emily?
Joey Tribbiani: Well no, not yet. He's calling everyone on her side of the family hoping that someone will help him get in touch with her.
Ross Geller: I-I-I don't care if I said some other girl's name you prissy, old twit!
Joey Tribbiani: Ross! Way to suck up to the family.
Chandler Bing: Ha-ha-ha-enh-enh. I'm so glad you guys are all here! My office finally got wrinkle free fax paper!
Joey Tribbiani: Hey!
Chandler Bing: Oh no-no-no-no-no-no, vomit tux! No-no, vomit tux!
Joey Tribbiani: Don't worry, I had it dry-cleaned.
Monica Geller: Vomit tux? Who vomited on-y'know what, what you up to Joe?
Joey Tribbiani: Well, I'm doing this telethon thing on TV and my agent got me a job as co-host!
Monica Geller: Oh that's great!
Joey Tribbiani: A little uh, good deed for PBS and a little TV exposure, now that's the kind of math Joey likes to do!
Phoebe Buffay: Ugh, PBS!
Monica Geller: What's wrong with PBS?
Phoebe Buffay: Ugh, what's right with them?
Joey Tribbiani: Why don't you like PBS, Pheebs?
Phoebe Buffay: Okay, 'cause right after my mom killed herself, I was just in this really bad place, y'know personally. So, I just thought that it'd make me feel better if I wrote to Sesame Street, 'cause they were so nice when I was a little kid! No one ever wrote back.
Chandler Bing: Well y'know a lot of those Muppets don't have thumbs.
Phoebe Buffay: All I got was a lousy key chain! And by that time I was living in a box. I didn't have keys!
Joey Tribbiani: I'm sorry Pheebs, I just, y'know, I just wanted to do a good deed. Like-like you did with the babies.
Phoebe Buffay: This isn't a good deed, you just wanted to get on TV! This is totally selfish.
Joey Tribbiani: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! What about you, having those babies for your brother? Talk about selfish!
Phoebe Buffay: What-what are you talking about?!
Joey Tribbiani: Well, yeah, it was a really nice thing and all, but it made you feel really good right?
Phoebe Buffay: Yeah. So?
Joey Tribbiani: It made you feel good, so that makes it selfish. Look, there's no unselfish good deeds, sorry.
Phoebe Buffay: Yes there are! There are totally good deeds that are selfless.
Joey Tribbiani: Well, may I ask for one example?
Phoebe Buffay: Yeah, it's... Y'know there's-no you may not!
Joey Tribbiani: That's because all people are selfish.
Phoebe Buffay: Are you calling me selfish?!
Joey Tribbiani: Are you calling you people? Yeah, well sorry to burst that bubble, Pheebs, but selfless good deeds don't exist. Okay? And you the deal on Santa Clause right?
Phoebe Buffay: I'm gonna find a selfless good dead. I'm gonna beat you, you evil genius.
Ross Geller: Hello.
Emily Waltham: Hello, Ross?
Ross Geller: Emily? Emily! Oh my God! Oh my God, it's Emily! It's Emily everyone! Shush-shush-shhst! Hi!
Emily Waltham: Ross, I'm only ringing to say stop harassing my relatives. Good-bye!
Ross Geller: No wait! Look, wait! Okay, you can hang up, but I'm gonna keep calling! I'm gonna, I'm gonna call everyone in England if that's what it takes to get you to talk to me!
Emily Waltham: Really? About what?
Ross Geller: Look you're my wife. We're-we're married. Y'know? I-I love you. I-I really miss you.
Emily Waltham: I miss you to. Well, at least I think I do.
Ross Geller: She's talking.
Everyone: Yay!
Phoebe Buffay: Hey, Joey, when you said the deal with Santa Clause, you meant?
Joey Tribbiani: That he doesn't exist.
Phoebe Buffay: Right.
Rachel Green: So Chandler, have you heard about Monica's secret boyfriend?
Chandler Bing: Uhh, yeah. She uh, she uh, she uh might've mentioned him.
Rachel Green: So Mon, when are we gonna meet this new secret waiter man?
Monica Geller: Ohh, he's really shy. I-I don't think he's up to meeting everyone yet.
Chandler Bing: Yeah, I don't think he's up to meeting everyone yet.
Rachel Green: I don't care! I wanna meet this guy who's the best sex she ever had!
Chandler Bing: Really?! That's what you heard? You said that?
Monica Geller: I might've said that. Why is that funny?
Chandler Bing: Because I'm very happy for him! And you, you lucky dog!
Ross Geller: Hi!
Monica Geller: Hey!
Ross Geller: Well, Emily's willing to work on the relationship.
Chandler Bing: Yes!
Monica Geller: That's great!
Ross Geller: In London!
Monica Geller: What?!
Ross Geller: She wants me to move to London.
Monica Geller: But you live here! You know that.
Rachel Green: What-what-what are you gonna do?
Ross Geller: I bet if I talk to Carol and Susan I can convince them to move to London with Ben.
Monica Geller: Yeah, I'm sure your ex-wife will be more than happy to move to another country so you can patch things up with your new wife.
Ross Geller: It could happen.
Joey Tribbiani: How ya doin'? Welcome. Good to see ya!
Stage Director: This will be your phone.
Joey Tribbiani: That's great. But uh, I'm not really expecting a lot of calls.
Stage Director: No you answer it and take pledges.
Joey Tribbiani: But I'm the host!
Stage Director: No, Gary Collins is the host. You'll be answering the phones.
Joey Tribbiani: You don't seem to understand. See, I was Dr. Drake Remoray.
Stage Director: Well, here's your phone doctor.
Phoebe Buffay: I cannot believe I can't find a selfless good deed! Y'know that old guy that lives next to me? Well, I snuck over there and-and raked up all the leaves on his front stoop. But he caught me and force-fed me cider and cookies. Then I felt wonderful. That old jackass!
Rachel Green: Maybe Joey's right. Maybe all good deeds are selfish.
Phoebe Buffay: I will find a selfless good deed! 'Cause I just gave birth to three children and I will not let them be raised in a world where Joey is right!
Chandler Bing: Hey, Monica? Can I ask you a cooking question?
Monica Geller: Sure!
Chandler Bing: If you're cooking on the stove, does that mean that your new secret boyfriend is better in bed than Richard?
Rachel Green: Chandler! Is he?
Monica Geller: Well, y'know I-I-I think I'm gonna respect the privacy of my new secret boyfriend.
Chandler Bing: Why?! I mean if this guy was me and it was me who had learned that it was me who was the best you'd ever had, I'd be going like this.
Ross Geller: All right Emily, as much as I love you, I'm sorry, I can't move to London without Ben.
Emily Waltham: I understand that would be difficult.
Ross Geller: Yeah, would you please consider moving here? I mean you were gonna move here anyway, why can't you just do that?
Emily Waltham: I don't know, it's just...
Ross Geller: Oh-oh-okay, but-but I know, that even though I've been a-a complete idiot up 'til now, I mean, I mean you-you-you have to come here. You have to come here so we can work this out.
Emily Waltham: All right.
Ross Geller: All right, did you just say all right?
Emily Waltham: I did. Now I'm the idiot.
Ross Geller: Oh, Emily that is, that is so great. It's gonna be so great! We're gonna be like-like-like two idiots in love!
Emily Waltham: Ross, there's one thing that really scares me still.
Ross Geller: Yes, tell me.
Emily Waltham: Well, you have to understand how humiliating it was for me up on that altar in front of my entire family, all my friends.
Ross Geller: I know. I am, I am so sorry.
Emily Waltham: And then after decided to forgive you, seeing you at the airport catching our plane with her.
Ross Geller: Again, very sorry.
Emily Waltham: I mean, I can't-I can't be in the same room as her! It drives me mad just thinking of you being in the same room as her!
Ross Geller: Emily, there is nothing between Rachel and me. Okay? I love you.
Emily Waltham: All right. I'll come to New York and we'll try and make this work.
Ross Geller: Oh that is so great! That's...
Emily Waltham: As long as you don't see Rachel anymore.
Ross Geller: So I asked Emily if she would come to New York, and she said yes.
Chandler Bing: Yes!
Phoebe Buffay: Ooh-ohh!
Monica Geller: Great!
Ross Geller: No-no-no! Only if I promise never to see Rachel again.
Phoebe Buffay: Why?
Monica Geller: What?! You can't-what did you tell her?
Ross Geller: I told her I'd have to think about it. I mean, how the hell am I supposed to make this kind of a decision? I'm actually asking you!
Chandler Bing: Well, you can't just not see Rachel anymore, she's one of your best friends.
Monica Geller: Yeah! But, he can't not exactly see Emily, I mean that's his wife.
Phoebe Buffay: Yeah.
Chandler Bing: That's true!
Phoebe Buffay: Yeah, but you've known Rachel since High School and you cannot just cut her out of your life.
Chandler Bing: That's true!
Monica Geller: No, you cannot.
Ross Geller: Thanks for the help, problem solved.
Monica Geller: Hello.
Joey Tribbiani: Hey Mon!
Monica Geller: Oh hey Joey! We've been watching all day, when are you gonna be on TV?
Joey Tribbiani: See, there was kind of a mix up in my agent's office, but I'm still on TV and that's good exposure.
Monica Geller: You're not on TV.
Joey Tribbiani: Oh, uh, okay, how, how about now?
Chandler Bing: Hey, there he is! There he is!
Joey Tribbiani: Hello New York!
Emeril: Now maybe you just like wanna but the whole duck in there! Who cares, y'know? Now I got the legs...
Chandler Bing: How many times have I told you guys, you never watch the cooking channel!
Monica Geller: Hi Chandler.
Chandler Bing: Hey!
Monica Geller: Uh, listen, I need that broiling pan that Joey borrowed the other day.
Chandler Bing: Oh that was yours? Uh, yeah, we used it when the duck was throwing up caterpillars.
Monica Geller: William Sonoma, fall catalog, Page 27.
Chandler Bing: Expect it in 4-6 weeks. Umm, hey, umm, Joey's gonna be at the telethon for the rest of the day, we have the whole place to ourselves.
Monica Geller: Yeah, so?
Chandler Bing: Well I just, thought maybe you'd wanna book some time with the best you'd ever had.
Monica Geller: Y'know what, champ? I think I'll pass.
Chandler Bing: Why?
Monica Geller: Why?
Chandler Bing: What's your point?
Joey Tribbiani: PBS telethon.
Phoebe Buffay: Hey Joey, I just wanted to let you know that I found a selfless good deed. I just went down to the park and I let a bee sting me.
Joey Tribbiani: What?! What good is that gonna do anybody?
Phoebe Buffay: Well, it helps the bee look tough in front of his bee friends. The bee is happy and I am definitely not.
Joey Tribbiani: Now, y'know the bee probably died after he stung ya.
Phoebe Buffay: Aw, dammit!
Stage Director: Back on in 30 seconds people!
Joey Tribbiani: Hey, excuse me, would you mind switching with me?
Pbs Volunteer: Hey, no way, I'm in the shot man.
Joey Tribbiani: Come on man! You've been here all day!
Pbs Volunteer: Yeah, I-I'm taking pledges here, eh?
Stage Director: We're on in 3, 2,
Gary Collins: Welcome back to our fall telethon. Now if you've been enjoying the performance of Cirque Du Soleil, and you'd like to see more of the same kind of programming, it's very simple. All you have to do is call in your pledge and at that time tell the operator, one of our volunteers, what kind of programming you'd like to...
Ross Geller: Okay, that's it. I cannot make this decision! It is too difficult, so I'm just gonna leave it entirely to the gods of fate.
Monica Geller: A Magic Eight ball?! You can't be serious, you can't make this decision with a toy!
Phoebe Buffay: Ooh, it's not a toy.
Ross Geller: Well, I don't know what else to do. I mean, I either keep my wife and lose one of my-my-my best friends or I keep my friend and get divorced the second time before I'm 30! So-so if anyone has-has a better suggestion, let's hear it! 'Cause I-I got nothing! All right, don't be shy, any suggestion will do. Okay then. Here we go. Magic 8 Ball, should I never see Rachel again? Ask again later. Later is not good enough. Ask again later. What the hell! This is broken! It-it is broken!
Monica Geller: All right, let me see. Will Chandler have sex tonight? Don't count on it. Seems like it works to me.
Joey Tribbiani: PBS Telethon.
Phoebe Buffay: Hi Joey.
Joey Tribbiani: Hey Pheebs!
Phoebe Buffay: I would like to make a pledge. I would like to donate $200.
Joey Tribbiani: $200? Are you sure Pheebs? I mean, after what Sesame Street did to ya?
Phoebe Buffay: Oh, I'm still mad at them but I also now that they bring happiness to lots of kids who's moms didn't kill themselves, so by supporting them, I'm doing a good thing, but I'm not happy about it. So there, a selfless good deed.
Joey Tribbiani: And you don't a little good about donating the money?
Phoebe Buffay: No, it sucks. I was saving up to buy a hamster.
Joey Tribbiani: A hamster? What, those things are like 10 bucks.
Phoebe Buffay: Yeah, not the one I had my eye on.
Gary Collins: It looks like we have surpassed last year's pledge total! Thank you viewers! The pledge that did it was taken by one of our volunteers... Oh boy! And may I say one of our sharpest dressed volunteers, Mr. Joseph Tribbiani!
Phoebe Buffay: Oh, look-look, Joey's on TV! Isn't that great? My pledge got Joey on TV! Oh that makes me feel-Oh no!
Chandler Bing: Look, maybe I got carried away before. But there's something you gotta know. If I'm the best, it's only because you've made me the best.
Monica Geller: Keep talking.
Chandler Bing: I mean I was nothing before you. Call the other girls and ask. Which wouldn't take long. But when I'm with you, and we're together, OH...MY...GOD.
Monica Geller: Really?
Chandler Bing: Oh-aw my God! Now, I understand if you never want to sleep with me again, but that would be wrong. We're too good! We owe it, to sex!
Monica Geller: Well, if we owe it? Oh my... When is Joey gonna be home?
Chandler Bing: Well, I was kinda hoping we could do this without him. Oh no-no-no, leave the gloves on.
Monica Geller: But, I just cleaned the bathroom.
Chandler Bing: Yeah, why don't we lose the gloves.
Monica Geller: Yeah.
Chandler Bing: All right, let's show them how it's done.
Monica Geller: Okay.
Monica Geller: Ow!
Chandler Bing: Y'know that wasn't part of it?
Monica Geller: I know!
Rachel Green: Hi! Are you ready? We're gonna be late!
Ross Geller: For what?
Rachel Green: For Stella! Remember? She's gettin' her grove back in like 20 minutes.
Ross Geller: Yeah, I uh, totally forgot about that. You mind if I take a rain check? I'm waiting for a call from Emily.
Rachel Green: Sure. I guess. Hey, I hear you don't have to go to London. Yay!
Ross Geller: It's not that easy, there's still a lot of relationship stuff.
Rachel Green: Like what?
Ross Geller: Just stuff. Y'know kinda what Emily wants.
Rachel Green: Well, why don't you talk to me about it, maybe I can help.
Ross Geller: No. No. You-you can't help. I mean, I kinda have to do this without your help.
Rachel Green: Well, I-I know you can do that too. I'm just, I'm just saying if you need somebody to talk to... Hi!
Ross Geller: Thanks.
Rachel Green: Ross? Look, whatever this relationship stuff that Emily wants, just give it to her. Come on, the bottom line here is that you love her. So just fix whatever she wants fixed. Just do it. I mean, you're gonna have to try. You'll just gonna hate yourself if you don't. Oh come on answer it! It's driving me crazy!
Ross Geller: Hello. Hi sweetie. Good. Look umm, yes I've been thinking about that thing that you wanted me to do and, I can do it. So will you come to New York?
Monica Geller: Never done that before.
Chandler Bing: Nope.


Monica Geller: Hi!
Chandler Bing: Hi!
Joey Tribbiani: Monica? What time is it?
Chandler Bing: Uhh, 9.
Joey Tribbiani: But it's dark out.
Monica Geller: Well that's because you always sleep to noon, silly! This is what 9 looks like.
Joey Tribbiani: I guess I'll get washed up then. Watch that sunrise.
Monica Geller: I'm really getting tired of sneaking around.
Chandler Bing: I know, me too. Hey! Y'know what if we went away for a whole weekend? Y'know we'd have no interruptions and we could be naked the entire time.
Monica Geller: All weekend? That's a whole lotta naked.
Chandler Bing: Yeah, I can say that I have a conference and you can say you have a chef thing.
Monica Geller: Ohh, I've always wanted to go to this culinary fair that they have in Jersey!
Chandler Bing: Okay, y'know your not though. Let's go.
Monica Geller: Wait! What about Joey?
Monica Geller: Hey, guess what I'm doing this weekend! I'm going to this culinary fair in New Jersey.
Phoebe Buffay: Oh weird, Chandler just told us he's got a conference there!
Monica Geller: Oh now that-that-that's funny, it seems like Chandler's conference could've been in Connecticut or Vermont.
Chandler Bing: I'm not in charge of where the conference is held. Do you want people to think it's a fake conference? It's a real conference.
Ross Geller: Hey.
Joey Tribbiani: Hey!
Monica Geller: Hey.
Ross Geller: Is Rachel here? I gotta talk to her.
Monica Geller: No, she's out shopping.
Ross Geller: Damn!
Chandler Bing: What's going on?
Ross Geller: I told Emily to come. And I just need to y'know, talk to Rachel about it.
Phoebe Buffay: Wait a minute! So when Emily comes you're just, you're not gonna see Rachel anymore?
Ross Geller: Well look, I'm just trying to focus on the "I get to see my wife," part, all right? And not the part that makes me do this.
Monica Geller: Wow, so you guys are, you're never gonna be in the same room together? How is that even gonna work?
Ross Geller: I have no idea. I mean... But-but I assure you I will figure it out.
Joey Tribbiani: Doesn't seem like it's going to work, I mean...
Rachel Green: Hi, guys!
Joey Tribbiani: Hi!
Chandler Bing: Uh, hey!
Rachel Green: What's going on?
Chandler Bing: We're flipping Monica's mattress.
Joey Tribbiani: So I'm thinking, basically we pick it up and then we flip it.
Phoebe Buffay: Yeah that's better than my way.
Rachel Green: Oh okay, hey guys, would you flip mine too?
Chandler Bing: Aww, man!
Rachel Green: Oh look! A letter from my mom.
Ross Geller: So, Rach, y'know-y'know how Emily's coming right?
Rachel Green: Oh yeah! I know.
Phoebe Buffay: Can you hear anything?
Chandler Bing: Oh yes, somebody just said, "Can you hear anything?"
Monica Geller: Hey, Joey's ass! What are you doing?
Joey Tribbiani: Well, remember when they got in that big fight and broke up and we were all stuck in her with no food or anything? Well, when Ross said Rachel at the wedding, I figured it was gonna happen again, so I hid this in here.
Monica Geller: Ooh, candy bars, crossword puzzles...
Phoebe Buffay: Ooh, Madlibs, mine!
Chandler Bing: Condoms?
Joey Tribbiani: You don't know how long we're gonna be in here! We may have to repopulate the Earth.
Chandler Bing: And condoms are the way to do that?
Ross Geller: Anyway it-it kinda-it all boils down to this, the last time I talked to Emily...
Rachel Green: Oh my God! My dog died!
Ross Geller: What?!
Rachel Green: Oh my God, Le Poo, our dog!
Ross Geller: Le Poo's still alive?!
Rachel Green: Oh God, it says he was hit by an ice cream truck and dragged for nine-teen blocks. Oh. Oh my God.
Monica Geller: Sweetie, we heard you crying. Please don't cry.
Rachel Green: It's Le Poo.
Phoebe Buffay: I know it's le poo right now, but it'll get better.
Chandler Bing: I can't believe it! We're here!
Monica Geller: Ooh, chocolates on the pillows! I love that!
Chandler Bing: Oh, you should live with Joey, Roll-os everywhere.
Monica Geller: Come here. Okay, be right back.
Chandler Bing: Oh yes! Monica, get in here! There's a high-speed car chase on!
Monica Geller: We're switching rooms.
Chandler Bing: Oh dear God, they gave us glasses!
Monica Geller: No, they gave us glasses with lipstick on them! I mean, if they didn't change the glasses, who knows what else they didn't change. Come on sweetie, I just want this weekend to be perfect, I mean we can change rooms, can't we?
Chandler Bing: Okay, but let's do it now though, because Chopper 5 just lost it's feed!
Ross Geller: Hey, so uh, y'know how there's something I wanted to talk to you about?
Rachel Green: Oh yeah!
Ross Geller: Well, y'know how I'm trying to work things out with Emily. Well, there's this one thing... Okay, here goes. I made a promise that-Oh hey!
Rachel Green: What?
Ross Geller: You're nose is bleeding!
Rachel Green: Oh God. No! Oh not again! This-this happened when my grandfather died. It's ugh! Sorry. Oh, okay, so I'm sorry, what-what were you-what did you want to tell me?
Ross Geller: Umm...
Rachel Green: Sorry. Sorry.
Ross Geller: Okay, I uh, I can't see you anymore.
Rachel Green: Yeah, I know. It's ridiculous! I can't see you either.
Hotel Clerk: I think you'll find this room more to your liking.
Chandler Bing: Okay, great.
Hotel Clerk: They say he's only got half a tank left.
Chandler Bing: Half a tank? We still got a lot of high-speed chasing to do!
Monica Geller: We're switching rooms again.
Chandler Bing: What? Why?
Monica Geller: This is a garden view room, and we paid for an ocean view room.
Hotel Clerk: Our last ocean view room was unacceptable to you.
Monica Geller: Excuse me, umm, can I talk to you over here for just a second?
Chandler Bing: Uh-huh.
Monica Geller: Chandler!
Chandler Bing: Yeah.
Monica Geller: Look, these clowns are trying to take us for a ride and I'm not gonna let 'em! And we're not a couple of suckers!
Chandler Bing: I hear ya, Mugsy! But look, all these rooms are fine okay? Can you just pick one so I can watch-have a perfect, magical weekend together with you.
Monica Geller: Okay, this one I like!
Chandler Bing: Nothing! It's over! Dammit! This is regularly scheduled programming!
Monica Geller: Can we turn the TV off? Okay? Do we really want to spend the entire weekend like this?
Chandler Bing: Oh, I'm sorry, am I getting in the way of all the room switching fun?
Monica Geller: Hey, don't blame me for wigging tonight!
Chandler Bing: Oh, who should I blame? The nice bell man who had to drag out luggage to 10 different rooms?
Monica Geller: I don't know, how about the idiot who thought he could drive from Albany to Canada on a half a tank of gas!
Chandler Bing: Do not speak ill of the dead.
Monica Geller: We're supposed to uh, be spending a romantic weekend together, it-it, what is the matter with you?
Chandler Bing: I just want to watch a little television. What is the big deal? Geez, relax mom.
Monica Geller: What did you say?
Chandler Bing: I said, "Geez, relax Monnnnn."
Rachel Green: Hi!
Ross Geller: Hey. Rachel, I-I-I've been wanting to tell you something for a while now and I really, I just have to get it out.
Rachel Green: Okay, what's up?
Ross Geller: Okay, y'know how you told me I should do whatever it takes to fix my marriage?
Rachel Green: Yeah, I told you to give Emily whatever she wants.
Ross Geller: And while that was good advice, you should know that what-what she wants...
Rachel Green: Yeah?
Ross Geller: ...is for me not to see you anymore.
Rachel Green: That's crazy! You can't do that! What are you going to tell her? Oh God. Ohh, you already agreed to this, haven't you?
Ross Geller: It's awful I know, I mean, I feel terrible but I have to do this if I want my marriage to work. And I do, I have to make this marriage work. I have too. But the good thing is we can still see each other until she gets here.
Rachel Green: Ohh! Lucky me! Oh my God! That is good news, Ross! I think that's the best news I've heard since Le Poo died!
Ross Geller: You have no idea what a nightmare this has been. This is so hard.
Rachel Green: Oh yeah, really? Is it Ross? Yeah? Okay, well let me make this a just a little bit easier for you.
Ross Geller: What are you doing?
Rachel Green: Storming out!
Ross Geller: Rachel, this is your apartment.
Rachel Green: Yeah, well that's how mad I am!!
Chandler Bing: Damn Rollos!
Joey Tribbiani: Hey, you're back!
Chandler Bing: Hey.
Joey Tribbiani: How was your conference?
Chandler Bing: It was terrible. I fought with my colleagues y'know, the entire time. Are you kidding with this?
Joey Tribbiani: Oh, so your weekend was a total bust?
Chandler Bing: Uh, no, I got to see Donald Trump waiting for an elevator.
Monica Geller: Hi!
Joey Tribbiani: Hey, you're back too!
Monica Geller: Yeah. Umm, Chandler can I talk to you outside for a second?
Joey Tribbiani: Hey, how was your chef thing?
Monica Geller: Oh, it was awful. I guess some people just don't appreciate really good food.
Chandler Bing: Well, maybe it was the kind of food that tasted good at first but then made everybody vomit and have diarrhea.
Monica Geller: Chandler!
Chandler Bing: Monica.
Monica Geller: Okay, I'd like to know how much the room was because I'd like to pay my half.
Chandler Bing: Okay, fine, $300.
Monica Geller: 300 dollars?!
Chandler Bing: Yeah, just think of it as $25 per room!
Monica Geller: Urghh!!
Joey Tribbiani: What are you guys woofing about?
Monica Geller: Chandler stole a twenty from my purse!
Joey Tribbiani: Nooooo!!! Y'know what? Now that I think about it, I constantly find myself without twenties and you always have lots!
Ross Geller: You should've seen the look on her face. I don't want Rachel to hate me! I don't know what to do.
Joey Tribbiani: You want my advice?
Ross Geller: Yes! Please!
Joey Tribbiani: You're not gonna like it.
Ross Geller: That's okay.
Joey Tribbiani: You got married to fast.
Ross Geller: That's not advice!
Joey Tribbiani: I told ya.
Ross Geller: I'm going to the bathroom.
Joey Tribbiani: Man, if anyone asked me to give up any of you, I couldn't do it.
Monica Geller: Maybe I could do it.
Rachel Green: Hi!
Joey Tribbiani: Hi, Rach.
Chandler Bing: Hi!
Phoebe Buffay: Hey.
Monica Geller: Hey.
Rachel Green: Look, I know you guys heard about the whole thing with me and Ross but y'know, I've been obsessing about it all day and I'd just love not to talk about it. All right?
Joey Tribbiani: I-I-I don't know if this falls under this category, but uh, Ross is right back there.
Rachel Green: That's not Ross!
Phoebe Buffay: Oh no! Not that guy! He does look like him though.
Chandler Bing: Okay, Ross is in the bathroom.
Rachel Green: Oh my God, its happening. It's already started. I'm Kip.
Joey Tribbiani: Hey, you're not Kip!
Rachel Green: Do you even know who Kip is?
Joey Tribbiani: Who cares? You're Rachel! Who's Kip?
Chandler Bing: Kip, my old roommate, y'know we all used to hang out together.
Joey Tribbiani: Oh, that poor bastard.
Rachel Green: See? Yeah, you told me the story. He and Monica dated when they broke up they couldn't even be in the same room together and you all promised that you would stay his friend and what happened? He got phased out!
Monica Geller: You're not gonna be phased out!
Rachel Green: Well, of course I am! It's not gonna happen to Ross! He's your brother. He's your old college roommate. Ugh, it was just a matter of time before someone had to leave the group. I just always assumed Phoebe would be the one to go.
Phoebe Buffay: Ehh!!
Rachel Green: Honey, come on! You live far away! You're not related. You lift right out.
Chandler Bing: Hey!
Joey Tribbiani: Hey, Mr. Bing. That uh, hotel you stayed at called. Said someone left an eyelash curler in your room.
Chandler Bing: Yes that was mine.
Joey Tribbiani: 'Cause I figured you'd hooked up with some girl and she'd left it there.
Chandler Bing: Yes that would have made more sense.
Joey Tribbiani: Y'know, I-I don't even feel like I know you anymore man! All right, look, I'm just gonna ask you this one time. And whatever you say, I'll believe ya. Were you, or were you not on a gay cruise?!
Rachel Green: Phoebe? I'm sorry about the whole lifting out thing. You gotta come with me!
Phoebe Buffay: Come where?
Rachel Green: Wherever I go. Come on you and me, we'll-we'll start a new group, we're the best ones.
Phoebe Buffay: Okay, but try and get Joey too.
Ross Geller: Pheebs, you mind if I speak to Rachel alone for a sec?
Phoebe Buffay: Oh, sure! Bye Ross! Forever.
Ross Geller: Hi.
Rachel Green: Hi. What are you doing here? Isn't this against the rules?
Ross Geller: I talked to Monica, look, I'm the one who made the choice. I'm the one who's making things change, so I should be the one to y'know, step back.
Rachel Green: Oh, Ross...
Ross Geller: No, no, it's okay. Really. They're plenty of people who just see their sisters at Thanksgiving and just see their college roommates at reunions and just see Joey at Burger King. So is, is that better?
Rachel Green: No, it's not better. I still don't get to see you.
Ross Geller: Well, what-what would you do? Rach, if you were me, what-what would you do?
Rachel Green: Well, for starters I would've said the right name at my wedding!
Ross Geller: I can't believe this is happening.
Rachel Green: I know.
Ross Geller: I am so sorry.
Rachel Green: I know that too.
Joey Tribbiani: Hey, Rach? Sorry to interrupt but umm, Phoebe wanted me to talk to you about a trip or something.
Chandler Bing: Hey!
Monica Geller: Hi.
Chandler Bing: I just came over to drop off...nothing. So that weekend kinda sucked, huh?
Monica Geller: Yeah, it did.
Chandler Bing: So, I guess this is over.
Monica Geller: What?
Chandler Bing: Well, y'know, you and me, it had to end sometime.
Monica Geller: Why, exactly?
Chandler Bing: Because of the weekend, we had a fight.
Monica Geller: Chandler that's crazy! If you give up every time you'd have a fight with someone you'd never be with anyone longer than-Ohhh!
Chandler Bing: So, this isn't over?
Monica Geller: You are so cute! No. No, it was a fight. You deal with it and move on! It's nothing to freak out about.
Chandler Bing: Really? Okay. Great!
Monica Geller: Ohh, welcome to an adult relationship!
Chandler Bing: We're in a relationship?
Monica Geller: I'm afraid so.
Chandler Bing: Okay.
Phoebe Buffay: Hey!
Monica Geller: Hey!
Phoebe Buffay: Oh hey, Monica, I heard you saw Donald Trump at your convention.
Monica Geller: Yeah, I saw him waiting for an elevator.
Monica Geller: Hey, Rach, can I borrow your eyelash curler, I think I lost mine.
Rachel Green: Yeah, it's in there.
Joey Tribbiani: Oh! Ohh! Oh!!
Chandler Bing: Joey, can I talk to you for a second?
Joey Tribbiani: Oohh!! Ohh! Oh-oh-oh! Oh-oh!!
Joey Tribbiani: Ohhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!
Chandler Bing: Yes. Yes.
Joey Tribbiani: You?! And-and you?!
Monica Geller: Yes, but you cannot tell anyone! No one knows!
Joey Tribbiani: How?! When?!
Chandler Bing: It happened in London.
Joey Tribbiani: IN LONDON!!!
Chandler Bing: The reason we didn't tell anyone was because we didn't want to make a big deal out of it.
Joey Tribbiani: But it is a big deal!! I have to tell someone!
Chandler Bing: No-no-no-no-no! You can't!
Monica Geller: Please? Please?! We just don't want to deal with telling everyone, okay? Just promise you won't tell.
Joey Tribbiani: All right! Man, this is unbelievable! I mean, it's great, but...
Monica Geller: I know, it's great!
Joey Tribbiani: Aww, I don't want to see that!
Phoebe Buffay: We're so stupid! Do you know what's going on in there? They're trying to take Joey!
Phoebe Buffay: The most popular Phoebe in tennis is called the overhand Phoebe. And if you win, you must slap your opponent on the Phoebe and say, "Hi, Phoebe!"
Monica Geller: Oh that's cute! We really all enjoyed it. But y'know, it doesn't count.
Phoebe Buffay: Count for what?
Monica Geller: Count in our heads as-as good Madlibs.
Joey Tribbiani: I guess I'm done.
Chandler Bing: Fun's over!
Monica Geller: Wait-wait, guys! If-if we follow the rules, it's still fun and it means something!
Rachel Green: Uh-huh!
Joey Tribbiani: I think I'm gonna take-off.
Monica Geller: Guys, rules are good! Rules help control the fun! Ohhh!


Joey Tribbiani: Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!! None of that, not while you're living under my roof!
Monica Geller: What?!
Joey Tribbiani: Look, just because I know about you two, doesn't mean I like looking at it.
Chandler Bing: Aren't you supposed to be at an audition for another hour?
Joey Tribbiani: Well, I'm sorry if I'm not a middle-aged black woman! And I'm also sorry if sometimes I go to the wrong audition! Okay, look, if I have to pretend I don't know about you two, then you two are gonna have to pretend there's nothing to know about.
Monica Geller: Sorry.
Chandler Bing: Sorry.
Joey Tribbiani: I can hear that!
Monica Geller: Rachel's at work.
Joey Tribbiani: I can still hear you!
Phoebe Buffay: Hey!
Joey Tribbiani: Hey!
Chandler Bing: Hello!
Monica Geller: Hey, what's that?
Phoebe Buffay: Yeah, my mom sent me a family heirloom that once belonged to my grandmother. Can you believe it?! A year ago I didn't even have a family, and now I have heirlooms for crying out loud.
Phoebe Buffay: Eeeee-ohh!! God!
Joey Tribbiani: Argh-argh!! Ooh, soft. Is this mink?
Phoebe Buffay: Yeah! Why would my mother send me a fur? Doesn't she know me but at all! Plus, I have a perfectly fine coat that no innocent animal suffered to make!
Chandler Bing: Yeah, just some 9-year-old Filipino kids who worked their fingers bloody for 12 cents an hour. That didn't happen, I made that up!
Ross Geller: Hey!
Gunther: Oh, Ross? Ross! You can't put up flyers in here.
Ross Geller: How come? Everybody else does.
Gunther: You can't.
Monica Geller: What is that?
Ross Geller: Oh, umm, I'm just getting rid of a couple of things.
Monica Geller: This is all of your things.
Ross Geller: Yes, yes it is! No, but it's good it's-Emily thinks we should get all new stuff. Stuff that's just ours, together. Y'know brand new.
Monica Geller: So basically, this is a getting-rid-of-everything-Rachel-ever-used sale.
Ross Geller: Touched. Used. Sat on. Sleep on.
Gunther: I'll take it all.
Joey Tribbiani: Hey, Ross, you're okay with that?
Ross Geller: Look, if I can just do what Emily wants and get her to New York, I'm sure everything will be fine.
Chandler Bing: Okay, but don't you think this is a little extreme?
Ross Geller: After what I did? Can you blame her?
Phoebe Buffay: Oh my God! You got off easy! When my friend Silvie's husband said someone else's name in bed, she cursed him and turned his thingy green.
Joey Tribbiani: What is he doing? What, Emily, thinks Ross's furniture has got Rachel coodies?
Monica Geller: Now calm down Joey.
Joey Tribbiani: No! Everything's gettin' all messed up, y'know? Emily won't let Ross see Rachel, we're not gonna stop seeing Rachel, hence Ross stops seeing us!
Phoebe Buffay: Oh, I hate this. Everything's changing.
Chandler Bing: Yeah I know, we're losing Ross, Joey said hence...
Monica Geller: Look, I'm not happy about this either, but y'know if-if Ross says he's happy then we're just gonna have to keep our feelings about Emily to ourselves. Are you cool with that?
Joey Tribbiani: No! But y'know, I'm an actor, I'll act cool.
Rachel Green: Ohh, whoa God! Storage rooms give me the creeps! Monica, come on please hurry up honey! Please?
Monica Geller: Rachel, if you want the little round waffles, you gotta have to wait until I find the little waffle iron.
Rachel Green: I want the little round waffles.
Monica Geller: All right. Op, here it is! Right underneath the can of-of bug bomb. I wonder if the best place to put something that cooks food is underneath the can of poison?
Rachel Green: Okay, y'know what? I'll-I'll have toast!
Rachel Green: Arghhhh!!!!!!
Monica Geller: Oh my God! Fog him! Fog him!
Phoebe Buffay: I don't know what I'm gonna do about this coat.
Joey Tribbiani: I'll take it!
Phoebe Buffay: That might work!
Joey Tribbiani: Ooh-ooh-ooh, yeah! Enh? All right, what do you think?
Chandler Bing: You're on in 5 Ms. Minnelli.
Ross Geller: No-no-no, it's just a bit sudden. No, it's great. Okay? I'm totally on board. I love you too, all righty. Bye.
Joey Tribbiani: What's the matter Ross?
Ross Geller: Nothing. Oh, actually, great news! I just got off the phone with Emily and it looks like I'm moving to a new apartment. Woo-hoo!
Phoebe Buffay: Why?
Ross Geller: Well, her thought is, and I agree, fresh new furniture, why not a fresh new apartment? Her cousin has this great place to sublet, it's got a view of the river on one side and Columbia on the other.
Joey Tribbiani: That's way uptown! That's like three trains away! Which is great! I love to ride that rail!
Chandler Bing: So you're really okay with this?
Ross Geller: Yes! Yes! I mean it's-it's kinda far from work, but uh, y'know, I'll get so much done on the commute. I-I've been given the gift of time!
Chandler Bing: Now that's so funny, because last Christmas I got the gift of space. We should get them together and make a continuum.
Joey Tribbiani: Now he's movin'? Man, what is Emily doing to him? Ow!! He's not even here!!!
Rachel Green: You guys! You guys!
Monica Geller: We were, we were just in the storage area and we saw this really creepy man!
Rachel Green: It was like this crazy-eyed, hairy beast man! He was like a, like a bigfoot or a yeti or something!
Monica Geller: And he came at us with an axe, so Rachel had to use a bug bomb on him!
Rachel Green: Yeah, I-I-I just pulled the tab and I just fogged his yeti ass!
Joey Tribbiani: Uhh, like dark hair, bushy beard?
Rachel Green: Yeah!
Joey Tribbiani: Yeah, you fogged Danny.
Rachel Green: Please! We did not fog Danny! Who's Danny?
Joey Tribbiani: Dan just moved in downstairs. Yeah, he just got back from like this four-month trek in the Andes. Nice fella.
Monica Geller: Oh he's nice. He's nice! Y'know, you always stick up for the people we fog!
Danny: Yeah?
Rachel Green: Hi! You might not remember us, but we are the girls that fogged you.
Monica Geller: We're-we're really sorry we fogged you.
Danny: Okay.
Rachel Green: Hi! Just so you know, we-we didn't mean to fog you, we thought you were like a yeti or something.
Danny: Okay.
Danny: Yesss?
Rachel Green: Hi! Sorry to bother you, but I don't think we can accept your acceptance of our apology, it just doesn't really seem like you mean it.
Monica Geller: Yeah.
Danny: O-kay!
Monica Geller: Wow! That guy is so rude!
Rachel Green: Really! What is with that guy? I mean you'd forgive me if I fogged you.
Monica Geller: Well you did a little bit.
Rachel Green: Oh my God, honey, I'm so sorry!
Monica Geller: I totally forgive you!
Rachel Green: Really?
Monica Geller: Yes!
Phoebe Buffay: Hey!
Monica Geller: Hey!
Phoebe Buffay: So listen, you know my friend Chris who owns the crematorium?
Monica Geller: Crematorium Chris? Sure!
Phoebe Buffay: He says, that he would cremate my fur coat for free if I umm, y'know, bring in the next person I know who dies.
Rachel Green: Oh my God! Oh my God, look at these pelts!
Monica Geller: Don't get too attached, she's having it cremated.
Rachel Green: What? Uhh, Phoebe, honey, honey, I know you're quirky and I get a big kick out of it, we all do actually, but if you destroy a coat like this that is like a crime against nature! Not nature, fashion!
Phoebe Buffay: This is fashion?! Okay, so to you, death is fashion?! That's really funny. Here's Phoebe umm, sporting uh, y'know, cutting edge hairy carcass from y'know, the steal traps of wintry Russia. I mean, you really thing this looks good? 'Cause I do.
Ross Geller: I know I miss you too. I can't wait to see you. I love you. Bye.
Chandler Bing: Okay, what is in here? Rocks?
Ross Geller: No-no, this is my collection of fossil samples.
Chandler Bing: So, rocks.
Ross Geller: I'm really gonna miss this apartment. Y'know, Ben-Ben took his first steps right over there.
Joey Tribbiani: Ohh. Hey, remember when I ran into this thing and it kinda knocked me out a little?
Ross Geller: I loved this place! To tell you the truth, I wish I didn't have to move.
Joey Tribbiani: Uhh, are you saying that you're not entirely happy about this?
Ross Geller: Well, I mean if uh, if Emily gave me a choice...
Joey Tribbiani: You do have a choice!! Ross, why are you listening to her?! Are you, are you crazy?!
Ross Geller: Why?
Joey Tribbiani: It's not right what Emily wants you to do! She is totally-Owww!! Stop pinching me! Look, now you guys said I only had to keep my mouth shut as long as Ross was happy, right? Well he just told me that he's not entirely happy.
Ross Geller: What's going on?
Joey Tribbiani: We all hate Emily!
Phoebe Buffay: Nooo!!
Monica Geller: No, Ross, we do not hate Emily. We-we just, we just think that you're having to sacrifice a whole lot to make her happy.
Joey Tribbiani: Yeah!
Chandler Bing: Look, we just think that maybe she's being a little unreasonable.
Joey Tribbiani: Yes! Yes! Unreasonable!
Ross Geller: Unreasonable? How about we have this conversation when one of you guys gets married! You have no idea what it takes to make a marriage work! All right, it's about compromise! Do you always like it? No! Do you do it? Yes! Because it's not all laughing, happy, candy in the sky, drinking coffee at Central Perk all the time! It's real life, okay? It's what grown-ups do!
Phoebe Buffay: I think he's right. You guys hang out at the coffeehouse way too much.
Monica Geller: God, I feel so guilty about Ross.
Phoebe Buffay: Oh, I know.
Joey Tribbiani: I kinda feel like it's my fault.
Chandler Bing: Kind of? If you just kept this to yourself none of this would've happened.
Joey Tribbiani: Well, I'm keeping so many things to myself these days, something was bound to slip out!
Chandler Bing: Well, I think it's very brave what you said.
Phoebe Buffay: All right, I can't sit here anymore. I have to walk places.
Chandler Bing: Pheebs, what are you doing with the coat? How about the whole animal rights thing?
Phoebe Buffay: Well, I've been reading up and for your information, minks are not very nice. Okay, I admit it! I love this coat! Okay, I-it's the best thing I've ever had wrapped around me, including Phil Huntley! Remember Phil Huntley? He was fine!
Rachel Green: Hi!
Danny: So you like the short hair better.
Rachel Green: What? Yeti-I mean Danny?
Danny: I had to cut my hair to get rid of the uh, fogger smell.
Rachel Green: Oh. Listen, I'm so sorry. I would, I would've never fogged you if y'know if you hadn't looked so... Y'know.
Danny: Absolutely. Some people are just into appearances.
Rachel Green: What?
Danny: That's cool. Cool.
Rachel Green: What? Hey! No-no-no! This not cool! You don't even know me!
Danny: Come on, you got the shopping bags and the Sack's catalog.
Rachel Green: So from that you think you've got me all figured out? Well, you don't! Y'know I-I could have toys for underprivileged kids in here!
Danny: Do you?
Rachel Green: Well, y'know, if-if kids like to play with Capri pants.
Danny: Okay.
Rachel Green: And stop saying that! I hate that!
Danny: Okay!
Rachel Green: Fine! I judged you. I made a snap judgement. But you did it too! And you are worse because you are sticking to your stupid snap judgement! You can't even open up your mind for a second to see if you're wrong! What does that say about you?
Danny: The pizza-place across the street any good?
Rachel Green: What?!
Danny: I'm hungry. Wanna get some pizza? You can keep yelling if there's more.
Rachel Green: Okay. Okay.
Danny: Stop saying that. I hate that.
Chandler Bing: Uh, Ross?
Phoebe Buffay: Are you still mad at us?
Ross Geller: Yep.
Phoebe Buffay: Oh good! Because we have an "I'm sorry" song.
Ross Geller: Y'know what? I'm really not in the mood.
Joey Tribbiani: Look, Ross, I feel really bad. I mean, you're going through all this stuff and I just acted like a jerk.
Chandler Bing: Yeah, we are so sorry.
Phoebe Buffay: You're kinda stepping on the song.
Joey Tribbiani: Look, we were way out of line, we totally support you.
Monica Geller: Whatever you decide, whatever you do.
Phoebe Buffay: Okay, now you're just taking lines right out of the song!
Ross Geller: Look, this is hard enough! I really need you guys right now.
Phoebe Buffay: Yes! Exactly! And that's why...
Monica Geller: Why don't you come over tonight? And I'll make you favorite dinner.
Ross Geller: Okay. Thanks you guys. Pheebs are you wearing fur?
Phoebe Buffay: Okay, let's get some perspective people; it's not like I'm wearing a seeing-eye dog coat!
Joey Tribbiani: Hey, y'know Ross, I think I kinda understand why I kinda lost it today.
Ross Geller: You do, huh?
Joey Tribbiani: Yeah you see umm, well, I'm an actor. Right? So I gotta keep my emotions right at the surface y'know? See what I'm saying? I gotta lot of balls in the air. Y'know what I mean? It's tough! Guys like me, y'know, you wander around, you're alone...
Ross Geller: What are you talking about?
Joey Tribbiani: I'm not sure.
Rachel Green: Hi!
Monica Geller: Hey, look at you! Where have you been?
Rachel Green: Oh, I went to have pizza. With Danny.
Monica Geller: How did that happen?
Rachel Green: That yeti is one smooth talker.
Monica Geller: I hope you're not full, 'cause dinner's almost ready.
Rachel Green: Yeah, y'know I-I think I'm just gonna hang out in my room.
Everyone: No! Why?
Rachel Green: Come on you guys! Listen, if Emily knew I was here having dinner you with you she would flip out and you know it. It's okay, I really... I don't mind.
Ross Geller: Wait! Wait! Wait! Y'know what? Just stay. Please? It uh... It would really mean a lot to me if you stayed.
Rachel Green: Ross, I...
Joey Tribbiani: RACHEL PLEASE!!! JUST HAVE DINNER WITH US!!!
Rachel Green: Okay. Okay. Joey, it's okay. Settle down.
Joey Tribbiani: All right, I-I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You see Rach I'm an actor...
Ross Geller: Hey! Hey, look! Ugly Naked Guy's back!
Rachel Green: I haven't seen him in so long!
Phoebe Buffay: Oh God, I really missed that fat bastard!
Monica Geller: Wow, this is so weird. I just realized this might be the last time we'll all be hanging out together.
Joey Tribbiani: It's almost as if he knew.
Monica Geller: I'll get it. Hello. Hi Emily! Yeah, uh you-you tracked him down. Hold on one second.
Ross Geller: Hey! Yeah-yeah, we're just having dinner. Uh, yeah, sure uh hold on. She wants to say hi. Hold on.
Phoebe Buffay: Hi Emily!
Chandler Bing: Hi!
Emily Waltham: Hello everyone. So who am I saying hello too?
Joey Tribbiani: Well uh, I don't know about who's here, but I can tell you for damn sure who's not here and that's Rachel!!
Emily Waltham: Well, I should hope not. Ross knows better than that by now.
Ross Geller: Y'know what? Uh, Rachel is here!
Emily Waltham: She's there?!
Chandler Bing: Oh yeah, there-there she is!
Ross Geller: Yeah, yeah, she's here.
Emily Waltham: Ross, take me off speakerphone.
Ross Geller: Hi.
Emily Waltham: How can you do this too me?! I thought I'd made my feelings about Rachel perfectly clear!
Ross Geller: Look Emily, I'm just having dinner with my friends, okay?
Emily Waltham: You obviously can't keep away from her.
Ross Geller: Emily that's ridiculous. Look, I'm-I'm moving for you, I'm cutting friends out of my life for you. Please, just get on the plane and come to New York. Okay, you'll see you're the only person I want to be with.
Emily Waltham: I'll feel better when I'm there, and I can know where you are all the time.
Ross Geller: Well, you can't know where I am all the time. Look, this marriage is never gonna work if you don't trust me.
Emily Waltham: You're right.
Ross Geller: So, can you trust me?
Emily Waltham: No.
Joey Tribbiani: I think it's going okay. Looks like he's smiling.
Monica Geller: How can you tell? You can only see the back of his head!
Joey Tribbiani: You can totally tell! Here look, watch me. Smile! Frown. Smile! Frown. Smile!
Ross Geller: Well, I guess that's it.
Everyone: Why, what happened?
Joey Tribbiani: What happened? What happened?
Ross Geller: My marriage is over.
Everyone: What?!
Monica Geller: Oh, sweetie. Oh, look at you. You're shivering.
Phoebe Buffay: Here.
Rachel Green: Ross, honey, is there anything we can do?
Ross Geller: Yeah. You can help me get my furniture back from Gunther.
Phoebe Buffay: Okay, stop tormenting me! This mink! Okay, they're mean! And they hate squirrels! And y'know, okay, most of these probably wanted to be coats! All right, fine, now I get it. Here. You take it. Are you happy now? I'm cold!


Chandler Bing: Are you looking at naked tribe's women?
Joey Tribbiani: No, look.
Chandler Bing: That's a pig.
Joey Tribbiani: I know, I know, but look at the knobs on her.
Chandler Bing: Hey!
Ross Geller: Emily's cousin kicked me out!
Chandler Bing: What?!
Joey Tribbiani: Why?
Ross Geller: Well, when you're subletting an apartment from your wife's cousin and then you get a divorce, sometimes the cousin suddenly wants his apartment back.
Chandler Bing: How can he do that? Didn't you sign a lease?
Ross Geller: Who needs a lease when it's family!
Joey Tribbiani: Hey, you can stay with us! We'll take care of ya!
Chandler Bing: Oh, yeah! Absolutely! Anything you need man! But you have to promise me the second you are feeling better so that we can make fun of your hair!
Joey Tribbiani: Yeah.
Ross Geller: You got it.
Joey Tribbiani: Okay.
Ross Geller: Thanks you guys, I really appreciate this. All right, I'm gonna get packing again. Man, I've been moving around so much I'm beginning to feel like a nomad.
Ross Geller: What?
Chandler Bing: He thought you said gonad.
Health Inspector: Wow, Monica, if every restaurant is as clean as yours, I'd have a tough time making a living.
Monica Geller: Oh, Larry.
Phoebe Buffay: Umm, do health inspectors work on commission?
Larry: No, bribes.
Phoebe Buffay: It's okay to laugh right?
Larry: Yeah, I was just kidding.
Phoebe Buffay: Okay.
Larry: I'll check the kitchen floors.
Monica Geller: Okay, knock yourself out, Larry.
Phoebe Buffay: Yum-my!
Monica Geller: Larry?
Phoebe Buffay: Oh yeah! I'd let him check out my kitchen floors.
Larry: A 98. I deducted 2 points because you are not wearing your chef's hat, and that is a Section 5 violation.
Monica Geller: Uh, look, Larry honey, umm, I wrote the book on Section 5 and I know that you don't have to wear your hat unless you're in the kitchen.
Larry: And where is your hat?
Monica Geller: It's in the kitchen, I'll go get it.
Larry: Ahh that's the 2 points.
Phoebe Buffay: Hey, you should really read that book you wrote. Wow! You saw the hat in the kitchen and knew that she'd have to go in there hatless to get it. You can have your own health inspector detective show!
Larry: Oh, I don't know about that.
Phoebe Buffay: Yeah, but then I can be you sidekick Vunda.
Larry: Maybe uh, Vunda could give me her number and I can ask her to dinner sometime.
Phoebe Buffay: Okay, she would love that! Y'know, 'cause you know all the clean places to eat.
Larry: I-I'll call ya.
Phoebe Buffay: Okay.
Phoebe Buffay: He's so funny!
Monica Geller: Thanks.
Rachel Green: Thank you. Mon?
Monica Geller: Hmm?
Rachel Green: How's Ross doing? Y'know since all the Emily stuff.
Monica Geller: He's not great umm, but he's dealing with it. Oh wait a minute, you're not gonna try...
Rachel Green: Oh, honey, please, no, I can't get started with all that Ross stuff again. I mean, he's gonna screwed up for a looong time. And besides y'know, I don't, I don't go for guys right after they get divorced.
Monica Geller: Right, you only go for them 5 minutes before they get married.
Danny: Two pounds of Moca Java please.
Monica Geller: Danny. Are you guys ever gonna go out again?
Rachel Green: I don't know! He hasn't called me since that one time when we went out. I see him in the hallway, we flirt, I'm all ha-ha-ha-ha, and nothing.
Danny: Hey!
Rachel Green: Hi Danny! Wow! Thirsty huh?
Danny: Uh, actually, actually, I'm having a party at my place on Saturday, it's sort of a house warming kind of thing.
Monica Geller: Ohh, fun!
Rachel Green: Ohh, great!
Danny: Yeah, I'm really looking forward to it.
Rachel Green: Yeah.
Danny: Okay, see ya.
Monica Geller: Well, I guess we won't be warming his house.
Rachel Green: Okay. All right, I see what he's doing! He's not asking me out, because he wants me to ask him out.
Monica Geller: And you're not gonna do that.
Rachel Green: That's right! 'Cause that would give him the control! So now he's all ooh, coming up with this whole I've got a party thing y'know, trying to get me to hint around for an invitation. Blew up in his face, didn't it?
Monica Geller: So-so there is no party.
Rachel Green: No, there's a party. There's a party. But the power, that is still up for grabs. You follow me?
Monica Geller: I think so. Se, he-he's not inviting you to his party because he likes you.
Rachel Green: Exactly.
Joey Tribbiani: Ross?
Ross Geller: Hey roomies!
Chandler Bing: Love what you've done with the place.
Ross Geller: Oh, yeah I know, I know, it's a lot of boxes, but again I really appreciate you guys letting me stay here.
Joey Tribbiani: Not a problem. And listen, hey! Since you're gonna be here for a while, why don't-I was thinking we uh, put your name on the answering machine.
Chandler Bing: Oh yeah!
Ross Geller: Oh, I uh, hope you don't mind, I kinda uh, jazzed it up a little. Check this out. We will, we will, call you back!
Joey Tribbiani: Hey, all right!
Ross Geller: Pretty cool, huh?
Joey Tribbiani: You're fake laughing too, right?
Chandler Bing: Oh, the tears are real.
Larry: You look beautiful this evening.
Phoebe Buffay: Show me the badge again.
Phoebe Buffay: Shiny.
Larry: Oh, will you mind if I wash up? Because I came straight from work and who knows where these babies have been.
Phoebe Buffay: You are just nonstop!
Larry: We're outta here!
Phoebe Buffay: Why?!
Larry: Just walking past the kitchen I saw 10 violations! I'm shutting this place down!
Phoebe Buffay: You have the power to do that?
Larry: This does.
Phoebe Buffay: Shut it down.
Joey Tribbiani: Hey.
Chandler Bing: What are you doing?
Joey Tribbiani: Nothing.
Chandler Bing: You built a fort didn't ya?
Joey Tribbiani: Kinda.
Chandler Bing: Oh my God, the air purifier! Ross's air purifier! All I heard through 4 years of college was
Joey Tribbiani: Dude, you should've gone out once and a while.
Chandler Bing: I hate this thing!
Joey Tribbiani: Come on, Chandler, Ross is our friend. He needs us right now, so why don't you be a grown up and come and watch some TV in the fort!
Rachel Green: Oh, hi Danny.
Danny: Hey guys, I just uh, wanted to invite you to the party tomorrow night.
Monica Geller: Oh, thanks! We'll try to stop by.
Rachel Green: Uh, actually, I think I'm gonna be busy.
Monica Geller: You are?
Rachel Green: Yeah! Remember I got that uh, gala.
Danny: Yeah, what's the gala for?
Rachel Green: It's a uh, regatta gala.
Danny: Really! You-you sail?
Rachel Green: No-no, but I support it.
Danny: Okay, hope I see you tomorrow night.
Monica Geller: Okay.
Danny: Take care.
Rachel Green: Okay. Walked right into that one didn't he?
Monica Geller: What one? You wanted him to invite you to the party and he did it!
Rachel Green: Yeah, but he waited until the last minute! So if I said yes, he would know I had nothing better to do than wait around for an invitation to his stupid party. I said, "No!" Which puts me right back in the driver seat.
Monica Geller: Great. So the ball is in his court?
Rachel Green: Ball? There is no ball.
Ross Geller: Joey, please!
Joey Tribbiani: Sorry.
Joey Tribbiani: Ahhhhhhhhhh...
Chandler Bing: Hello children!
Joey Tribbiani: Hey! Wanna play some foosball? Please?
Chandler Bing: Okay.
Joey Tribbiani: No-no, no! We have to move the table into my room, yeah! 'Cause of all the boxes. Come on!
Joey Tribbiani: All right, I have one question. What is the deal with this?
Chandler Bing: Bye-bye little puppet Joey hand?
Joey Tribbiani: No, the quiet down thing!
Chandler Bing: You mean this.
Joey Tribbiani: Um-hmm! Look, I-I-I don't know how much more of this I can take! Did you know he taped over my Baywatch tape with some show about bugs! My God! What if that had been porn?
Chandler Bing: All right look, y'know, this maybe tough but come on, this is Ross! I survived college with him!
Joey Tribbiani: All right, I guess I can hold out a little longer. Let's have a game.
Chandler Bing: Okay.
Chandler Bing: No-no-no-no!
Joey Tribbiani: YES!!
Ross Geller: Uh fellas,
Chandler Bing: Okay, so he's out of here.
Joey Tribbiani: Um-hmm.
Joey Tribbiani: Hey!
Monica Geller: Hey!
Joey Tribbiani: You guys got anything to eat? I just went down to Johnos for some chicken and it was closed!
Phoebe Buffay: Oh, I took Larry there to eat but it was all violated. So we shut it down!
Joey Tribbiani: Pheebs, if this guy keeps closing down all of our favorite places, where are we gonna eat?!
Monica Geller: I don't know, clean places?
Joey Tribbiani: Umm, yum!
Monica Geller: It's Danny.
Rachel Green: Don't let him in! I'm supposed to be at a regatta gala.
Monica Geller: We'll be right there! Can't you just say it starts later?
Rachel Green: What? What kind of a regatta gala starts at night?!
Monica Geller: The fake kind!
Danny: Hey, hi, I need a ladle. You got a ladle?
Monica Geller: We have a ladle.
Danny: Thanks, see you at the party.
Monica Geller: Okay, great!
Phoebe Buffay: Hey, guys, you know what Larry would say? He would say, "See you ladle."
Chandler Bing: Well, I-I-I'm done with this. You want anything Ross? Sports? International? Apartment listings?
Ross Geller: I'll take sports.
Joey Tribbiani: Mine!
Ross Geller: All right. Uhh, international.
Joey Tribbiani: Oh that's mine too! I'm Italian!
Ross Geller: Well, I guess I can check out those apartment listings, even though there's never anything in here.
Chandler Bing: Not even on page 7?
Ross Geller: Oh yeah! You're-hey, you're right! Here's an affordable place, two bedroom, close to work, ooh, it's available in five weeks!
Chandler Bing: What about that circled one?
Ross Geller: Oh, I-I don't know, it's kind of expensive for a studio.
Joey Tribbiani: But it's available now! Isn't it?
Chandler Bing: Yes, it is.
Joey Tribbiani: Hey, let's go look at it!
Ross Geller: Okay, let's go.
Joey Tribbiani: Okay!
Chandler Bing: There we go!
Ross Geller: Oh-oh-ooh, hey guys, I was wondering if you guys would uh, maybe chip in on some new air filters for the air purifier? I mean after all, we all are using it.
Chandler Bing: Let's go quicker.
Joey Tribbiani: Yeah!
Ross Geller: Oh my God!
Chandler Bing: Yeah, well look at this kitchen, slash bathroom. Well that's great! Y'know so you can cook while in the tub.
Joey Tribbiani: Somebody was using his head. Hey, let's check out the rest of the place.
Ross Geller: I think this is it. I don't know, maybe we should keep looking.
Joey Tribbiani: But hey, Ross, this place is available now!
Chandler Bing: Yeah, you don't want to be stuck with us for the next five weeks.
Joey Tribbiani: Yeah.
Ross Geller: So, you-you think I should go ahead and take this place?
Joey Tribbiani: Oh, it's perfect!
Ross Geller: How about you?
Chandler Bing: It's a kitchen slash bathroom.
Ross Geller: All right, I see what you guys are saying. I'll uh, I'll go downstairs and fill out an application.
Chandler Bing: We are bad people.
Joey Tribbiani: He knew we were trying to get rid of him. He knew! You think we could get a bathtub in our kitchen?
Larry: Hey, ready for dinner?
Phoebe Buffay: Ooh, absolutely!
Larry: Great! How about you wanted to go the Italian place down on Bleaker Street right?
Phoebe Buffay: Ooh, I love that place! So, no.
Larry: How about Mama Lisettie's?
Phoebe Buffay: Enh. Sure!
Larry: I wonder how long that milk has been setting out.
Phoebe Buffay: Oh, no-no, this place is totally healthy! That-this milk is mine. I bought this today, 'cause I was thirsty for milk, y'know. Okay, let's go!
Larry: Hey, buddy! Are you familiar with Section 11-B of the Health Code that requires all refuse material out the back exit?
Gunther: But then I'd have to go all the way around the dry cleaner place.
Larry: Oh, so you're saying you'd choose convenience over health?!
Phoebe Buffay: Okay, stop! Larry, okay, can't you just be Larry and not Larry the health inspector guy? Y'know I mean it was really exciting at first but now it's like, okay, so where are we gonna eat ever?
Larry: Well, I suppose I could give him a warning.
Phoebe Buffay: Thank you. Okay, go! Go! Go! Now, if after dinner you still really need to bust someone, I know a hot dog vendor who picks his nose.
Joey Tribbiani: Maybe, maybe we did a good thing, helping Ross get back on his feet!
Chandler Bing: Yes that was a nice place!
Joey Tribbiani: Yeah!
Chandler Bing: Not a lot of closet space, but he can just hang his stuff out the window in a bag!
Joey Tribbiani: Yeah!
Chandler Bing: What are we gonna do?
Joey Tribbiani: I don't know. Maybe pizza?
Chandler Bing: About Ross!
Joey Tribbiani: Oh! Oh!
Joey Tribbiani: Hello! Oh yeah! It's the apartment manager; Ross put us down as references. Ross is the greatest guy you'll ever meet! Yeah, he's very reliable.
Chandler Bing: Of course he has this big huge dog! That uh, barks into the night. Well, who doesn't love dogs? Ah, he's a tap dancer! Yes, some would say that is a lost art. He's a pimp! There you go! Yes, he's a pimp. He's a big, tap dancing pimp! Hello?
Chandler Bing: Ohhhhh!
Rachel Green: Shoot, shoot, this is never gonna work! He's right there!
Monica Geller: Just go over and say hi.
Rachel Green: No, I have to go downstairs and come back up as if I'm coming home from the regatta gala. Okay? So just go distract him. But don't be sexy.
Monica Geller: Hey, Danny!
Danny: Hey! What's going on?
Monica Geller: Oh, it's a great party! Great food. Y'know, most parties it's all chips and salsa, chips and salsa. So umm, what's this?
Danny: Salad.
Monica Geller: Ooooh! And-and-and what-what's this?
Danny: Bread. Aren't you a chef?
Monica Geller: Oh.
Danny: Hey! Rachel!
Rachel Green: Hey! Oh right, tonight was your party.
Danny: Oh wow, you look great! Glad you could make it.
Rachel Green: Oh well, y'know, the gala had to end sometime.
Danny: Don't go anywhere, I'll be right back.
Rachel Green: Yeah, sure. All right, whose court is the ball in now?
Monica Geller: I thought there wasn't a ball?
Rachel Green: Oh, come on! He's glad that I came, he doesn't want me to go anywhere, balls flying all over the place!
Danny: Rachel, this is my friend Tom. This is the girl I told you about.
Rachel Green: Oh, go on! You telling people about me?
Danny: You two could really hit it off! I'm gonna go mingle.
Tom: So you work at Bloomingdale's, huh? My mom calls it Bloomies.
Rachel Green: Yeah, okay, at ease solider!
Tom: I'm sorry?
Rachel Green: No, it's all right, you can just drop the act Tommy. I know what's going on here. Your Danny's wingman right? You guys are best buds. Frat bros!
Tom: I'm gonna go talk to uh, a friend.
Rachel Green: Yeah, yeah, you go talk to your friend. You tell him, "Nice try."
Rachel Green: Man! He just keeps lobbing them up and I just keep knocking them right out of the park!
Monica Geller: I think I need a drink.
Rachel Green: Yeah!
Chandler Bing: 98. 99. 100. Okay, go!
Joey Tribbiani: Dude, I'm telling ya! I'm fine!
Chandler Bing: Here we go! Here we go!
Joey Tribbiani: Hey!
Chandler Bing: Hey!
Ross Geller: Hey. So I uh, I didn't get that apartment. Some problem with my application.
Joey Tribbiani: You're kidding!
Chandler Bing: You're kidding, no!
Ross Geller: Yeah. But, the good news is that Phoebe said that I could stay at her place for a while. So...
Joey Tribbiani: But you can't stay with Phoebe, Ross! We're-we're roomies!
Ross Geller: Look, you guys don't need me here taking up your space.
Joey Tribbiani: Well, we got plenty of space! There-there's still some over there by-by that speaker. Please, just stay!
Chandler Bing: Yeah!
Ross Geller: Are you guys sure about this?
Joey Tribbiani: Definitely!
Chandler Bing: Yes! Ross, you have to stay!
Ross Geller: All right.
Joey Tribbiani: All right!
Chandler Bing: All right, buddy!
Ross Geller: So I'm a pimp huh? It's okay! Look, I know that sometimes I can be a pain in the ass, but you just have to talk to me. Tell me if something is bothering you. Okay? And for my part I will do everything I can to keep my annoying habits just .
Chandler Bing: Well, I see you've had a very productive day. Don't you think the cowboy hat is a little much?
Ross Geller: Come on, it's fun!
Chandler Bing: All right! Isn't this a woman's hat?
Joey Tribbiani: Dude, stop talking crazy and make us some tea!