Rachel Green: Pheebs? Could you get that? Please?
Phoebe Buffay: Why? Just 'cause you're too lazy to get up off your touchie?
Rachel Green: No! No! It's just that all the people in the entire world that I want to talk to are right here.
Phoebe Buffay: Okay!
Rachel Green: Sucker!
Phoebe Buffay: Hello? Hey Joey!
Joey Tribbiani: Hey Pheebs! Listen, uh can you do me a favor? I forgot the pin number to my ATM card can, can you get it for me?
Phoebe Buffay: Sure! Where is it?
Joey Tribbiani: Uh, I scratched it on the ATM machine down on the corner.
Phoebe Buffay: Ohh! So you're 5639?!
Joey Tribbiani: That's it! Thanks Pheebs!
Chandler Bing: Hey!
Phoebe Buffay: Ooh, do you want to talk to Chandler?
Chandler Bing: Is that Joey?! Let me talk to him!
Joey Tribbiani: No! Because he didn't believe in my movie! Which is a big mistake because it is real! Real!
A Casino Boss: Hey! Tribbiani! Get back to work! Break time's over!
Phoebe Buffay: Who was that?
Joey Tribbiani: Uhh, my stunt double. Yeah, and y'know, he's getting a little too familiar for my tastes.
Chandler Bing: Y'know what? I have been trying to apologize to him all week! If he's not gonna let me do it on the phone, I'm gonna go down there and do it in person.
Joey Tribbiani: Uhh Pheebs, I heard that. Can you put him on?
Phoebe Buffay: Yeah!
Chandler Bing: Hey!
Joey Tribbiani: Don't come out here!
Chandler Bing: No-no-no-no, I've supported you one hundred percent and I want to prove that to you in person!
Joey Tribbiani: I got that! I forgive ya! Don't come out here!
Chandler Bing: Forgive me? You haven't been taking my calls in a week!
Joey Tribbiani: Well, I'm totally over it Chandler. Friends forever! Don't come out here!
A Tourist: Would you mind doing a picture with us?
Chandler Bing: Uh, what was that?
Joey Tribbiani: Uh, Entertainment Tonight. Yeah, okay so, good talking to ya and don't come out here. All right.
Phoebe Buffay: Monica! I'm sorry I'm late! Monica?
Monica Geller: Phoebe? Oh, Phoebe, I'm so sorry. Have you been here long?
Phoebe Buffay: It's okay. What the hell took you so long?
Monica Geller: Okay, you can not tell Chandler. Okay? That I ran into Richard.
Phoebe Buffay: Which Richard?
Monica Geller: The Richard.
Phoebe Buffay: Richard Simmons?! Oh my God!
Monica Geller: Noo! My ex-boyfriend Richard! Y'know the tall guy, moustache?
Phoebe Buffay: Oh! Okay, that actually makes more sense. So how was it?
Monica Geller: It was, it was really nice. We started talking and I-I ended up having lunch with him.
Phoebe Buffay: That is so weird! I had a dream that you'd have lunch with Richard.
Monica Geller: Really?
Phoebe Buffay: But again, Simmons. Go on.
Monica Geller: The strange part was, he was really nice, umm and he looks great, but I didn't feel anything at all!
Phoebe Buffay: Ooh! So now why can't we tell Chandler?
Monica Geller: Because it would totally freak him out and tomorrow's our anniversary. I just don't want anything to spoil that.
Phoebe Buffay: Oh, I can't believe you guys lasted a whole year!
Monica Geller: I know.
Phoebe Buffay: Wow! I owe Rachel 20 bucks!
Monica Geller: What?
Phoebe Buffay: On a totally different bet.
Chandler Bing: Hey!
Monica Geller: It's almost our anniversary!
Chandler Bing: I know. Can you believe it? One year ago today I was just your annoying friend Chandler.
Phoebe Buffay: Awww! Now you're just my annoying friend Chandler.
Chandler Bing: Huh.
Monica Geller: I got you a present!
Chandler Bing: Oh, but it's not 'til tomorrow!
Monica Geller: I know, but you have to open it today!
Chandler Bing: Okay.
Monica Geller: Okay! There you go! It's two tickets to Vegas!
Chandler Bing: Wow!
Monica Geller: For this weekend! Oh gosh, it would be perfect, we get to see Joey plus we get to start our anniversary celebration on the plane. We can call it out plane-aversary.
Chandler Bing: Do we have to?
Monica Geller: No.
Chandler Bing: Okay this is great, but Joey said he didn't want any of us out there.
Monica Geller: Oh, he just doesn't want us to go through any trouble. Think of how excited he'll be when we go out and surprise him! Plus we get to have our own, ani-Vegas-ary! A-Nevadaversary!
Chandler Bing: Yeah, I think we should see other people.
Monica Geller: But we can go, right?
Chandler Bing: Yes.
Monica Geller: Okay!
Chandler Bing: It's a great idea.
Phoebe Buffay: Okay, I'm gonna go too!
Chandler Bing: Y'know Pheebs, it's kinda our anniversary.
Phoebe Buffay: Oh please, you are not gonna ditch again like you did with London.
Monica Geller: Ditch you? Phoebe, you were pregnant with the triplets!
Phoebe Buffay: Uh-huh, great story! I'm going!
Rachel Green: Hi!
Phoebe Buffay: Hey!
Ross Geller: Hey!
Phoebe Buffay: Hey, you guys, listen, this weekend we're all gonna go to Las Vegas to surprise Joey! Including me!! You wanna go?!
Rachel Green: Well, I guess I could take a couple days off work.
Phoebe Buffay: Of course you can take a couple days off work because this trip includes me!
Rachel Green: Oh no, wait a minute, wait, I've got a presentation tomorrow. I can't miss that.
Ross Geller: Oh, but I've got tickets to the Van Gogh exhibit! I've been waiting like a year for this.
Chandler Bing: Art lover!
Ross Geller: What'd you say?
Chandler Bing: I said art lover.
Ross Geller: Is that supposed to be an insult?
Chandler Bing: I don't know, I'm very tired.
Ross Geller: So Rach, maybe you and I could fly out together Saturday.
Rachel Green: That sounds great.
Ross Geller: Yeah? All right I'll call the airlines.
Rachel Green: Okay. Yeah, that would be nice actually, to have the apartment to myself for a night.
Phoebe Buffay: Oh yeah, so you can walk around naked.
Rachel Green: No! So I can be by myself. Y'know? Have a little alone time.
Phoebe Buffay: Naked alone time.
Rachel Green: No! Phoebe just because I'm alone doesn't mean I wanna walk around naked. I mean, you live alone, you don't walk around naked.
Phoebe Buffay: Uh-huh! Why do you think it takes me so long to answer the door?
Phoebe Buffay: So, so far is this trip to Vegas better or worse than the trip to London?
Chandler Bing: So it's pretty much the same Pheebs.
Phoebe Buffay: Okay, what about after I give you these candies?
Chandler Bing: Yeah, I guess it's a little better now.
Phoebe Buffay: Ah-ha! Okay, Las Vegas 1, London 0! I'll be right back.
Chandler Bing: Happy plane-aversary.
Monica Geller: Aww! I love you!
Chandler Bing: Can I give you a present now?
Monica Geller: Okay!
Chandler Bing: Okay! Oh man! Don't tell me I did this!
Monica Geller: I love the "I forgot the present" fake out!
Chandler Bing: How do you feel about the, "I really did forgot the present, please forgive me" not fake out?
Monica Geller: Oh that's okay. Don't worry about it, you can give it to me when we get back.
Chandler Bing: Ohh that's the worse thing that can happen on an anniversary ever!
Phoebe Buffay: Oh good! All right, so you decided to tell him about the Richard thing.
Chandler Bing: What-what Richard thing?
Phoebe Buffay: Oh no.
Chandler Bing: What Richard thing?
Phoebe Buffay: Simmons! Go with Simmons!
Monica Geller: Okay, I umm, I ran into Richard yesterday and he asked me if I wanted to go for a bite and I did. The only reason I didn't tell you is because I knew you'd get mad and I didn't want to spoil our anniversary.
Chandler Bing: I'm not mad.
Monica Geller: Really?!
Chandler Bing: Oh yeah! Yeah, so you-you bumped into Richard! You grabbed a bite! It's no big deal.
Monica Geller: Great!
Phoebe Buffay: Okay, London 1...
Rachel Green: Oh! Look what happened! {Don't get your hopes up guys, we only get to see her from the back or from the neck up. Its times like these I wish that the networks would broadcast some nudity other than Denis Franz's butt.} Huh, check me out! I'm in my kitchen...naked! I'm picking up an orange. I'm naked! Lighting the candles, naked, and carefully.
Ross Geller: Oh my God! That's Rachel naked! I can't look at that! I am looking at this. Okay, vivid colors, expressive brush strokes-Unless she wants me to be looking at that. She knows I'm home. She knows I can see her. What kind of game is she playing? I think maybe someone's lonely tonight. Oh-ho, Dr. Geller! Stop it! You're being silly! Or, am I?
Rachel Green: Love to love ya baby! Ow! Love to love ya baby! Ow! Love to love ya, baby! Darnit! Ugh.
Ross Geller: Hey.
Ross Geller: May I come in?
Rachel Green: Uh, yeah, if you want too.
Ross Geller: Do you want me too?
Rachel Green: Yeah, sure?
Ross Geller: So do I. Okay Rach, before anything happens I just want to lay down a couple of ground rules. This is just about tonight. I don't to go through with this if it's going to raise the question of "Us." Okay? I just want this to be about what it is!
Rachel Green: And um, what-what is that Ross?
Ross Geller: The physical act of love.
Rachel Green: What?! Are you crazy?
Ross Geller: Oh so-so you weren't trying to entice me just now with your-your nakedness?
Rachel Green: Oh God, you saw me?! Oh!
Ross Geller: You weren't trying to entice me with your nakedness.
Rachel Green: Noo!! No! You thought, you actually thought I wanted to have sex with you?!
Ross Geller: No! No! No! No-no-no-no.
Rachel Green: Ohh wow! I'm sorry, but Ross you kicked off your shoes!
Ross Geller: Can we, can we just forget this ever happened?
Rachel Green: Yes of course, absolutely! You're right. I'm sorry.
Ross Geller: Thank you.
Rachel Green: Yes.
Ross Geller: All right I guess I'm, gonna go pack.
Rachel Green: Okay. Oh wait! One more thing umm, do-do we still need to uh settle the question of "us?"
Phoebe Buffay: Hey you guys wait! Guys! This place is so much better than London! Okay? This lady dressed like Cleopatra gave me a coupon, 99 cent steak and lobster dinner. Huh!
Monica Geller: Phoebe, you don't eat animals.
Phoebe Buffay: For 99 cents, I'd eat you. Okay, I can totally settle down here. It's got everything I could ever want, including Joey! Look! Oh! Look! Hi!
Chandler Bing: Oh my God.
Phoebe Buffay: Hey! Joey! Hey! Hey!! Wow!
Joey Tribbiani: Hi!
Chandler Bing: Love your condoms my man.
Joey Tribbiani: What-what are you guys doing here? I thought I told you not to come.
Phoebe Buffay: Why are you dressed as a gladiator?
Joey Tribbiani: Uhh, because I'm shooting a scene right now. Yeah, I uh, I play a gladiator. Uh, y'know what? Hold-hold on a second. Can we cut? Yeah, my-my friends are here, I'm gonna take a little break.
Monica Geller: Who are you talking too?
Joey Tribbiani: They uh director. Uhh, her. All right, all right, it's not a gladiator movie. I work here.
Chandler Bing: Why?! What happened?!
Joey Tribbiani: Well, the movie got shutdown because they ran out of money, so I'm working here 'til it starts up again, if it ever does.
Monica Geller: I'm so sorry.
Joey Tribbiani: Look, I'm sorry I didn't tell ya. I'm sorry man.
Chandler Bing: No-no, that's okay, apparently there's a new policy where we don't have to share everything with everybody.
Monica Geller: I knew you were not okay with that.
Phoebe Buffay: So you're a gladiator! Wow!
Joey Tribbiani: Yeah, what-what's going on?
Phoebe Buffay: Monica had lunch with Richard.
Joey Tribbiani: Dawson?!
Phoebe Buffay: Noo! But that would've been so cool!
Chandler Bing: No! Her boyfriend Richard!
Monica Geller: It meant nothing! Okay? After all this time, how can you not trust me?
Chandler Bing: When you go lunching with hunky moustache men and don't tell me about it!
Monica Geller: You're right. I'm sorry. I should've told you.
Chandler Bing: Thanks.
Joey Tribbiani: Aww, there we go.
Phoebe Buffay: I love Vegas!
Monica Geller: I promise you, next time I will absolutely tell you.
Chandler Bing: Next time?
Joey Tribbiani: Ooh, so close.
Chandler Bing: There's not gonna be a next time! You can not ever see him again!
Monica Geller: I can not see him? I mean, you can't tell me what to do!
Chandler Bing: That's so funny, because I think I just did!
Monica Geller: Oh y'know what? If you're gonna be acting like this all night, I really, I don't even want to be around you.
Chandler Bing: Fine with me!
Monica Geller: Fine! Happy Anniversary!
Joey Tribbiani: Whoa! Whoa! Guys! Please! Come on! Come on! This is obviously just a big misunderstanding.
Monica Geller: No it is not!
Chandler Bing: What are you talking...
Joey Tribbiani: Hey-hey don't look at me! I just work here!
Rachel Green: Okay umm, Ross? I'm-I'm really warm, so I'm going to be taking off my sweater. Now, I'm just letting you know that this is not an invitation to the physical act of love.
Ross Geller: Yep! That's hilarious!
Rachel Green: I'm sorry. I'm done. I'm done.
Ross Geller: Y'know, last night was embarrassing for you too.
Rachel Green: No, not really. I mean you've seen me naked hundreds of times.
Ross Geller: Uh-huh. But it was a first for the rest of my building.
Rachel Green: Okay. All right, that's true! But y'know I just don't embarrass that easily.
Ross Geller: What?! You totally get embarrassed!
Rachel Green: No, I don't! Ross, I think I'm just a more secure person than you are.
Ross Geller: Is that so?
Rachel Green: Yeah.
Ross Geller: Hey lady! I don't care how much you want it! Okay?! I am not gonna to have sex with you in the bathroom!
Joey Tribbiani: Hey, y'know in Roman times this was more than just a hat.
Chandler Bing: Really?
Joey Tribbiani: Yeah, sure! Sure! They would uh, they would scrub the floors with it! They would use it to get the mud off their shoe. And sometimes underneath the horse would get dirty so they would stick it right...
Chandler Bing: Joey, I uh! I can't believe this is how I'm spending my anniversary.
Joey Tribbiani: All right well, I'll take you someplace nice then. Look! A guy tipped me a hundred bucks today.
Chandler Bing: Whoa!
Joey Tribbiani: Yeah-yeah, he was playing blackjack for like an hour and he won $5,000. Can you believe that? $5,000!
Chandler Bing: Y'know, if I won $5,000 I'd join a gym, y'know build up my upper body and hit Richard from behind with a stick!
Joey Tribbiani: Wait a minute! Why don't I do what that guy did? I'll take this $100 and turn it into $5,000! And then I'll turn that into enough money to get my movie going again!
Chandler Bing: Good luck!
Joey Tribbiani: Chandler! I don't need luck. I have thought this through!
Chandler Bing: I see.
Monica Geller: Thank you.
Phoebe Buffay: Thanks.
Monica Geller: I can't believe this! This is like the worst night ever!
Phoebe Buffay: Y'know Monica you had a minor setback in your relationship with Chandler. Big deal! It's only Chandler. I am so sorry.
Monica Geller: This is crazy! I mean, it's such a stupid argument. I don't even wanna see Richard again.
Phoebe Buffay: So go fix it! Go find Chandler! He's probably up in your room! Tell him that you're sorry and that you love him.
Monica Geller: Y'know what? You're right Phoebe. You're right. Thank you!
Phoebe Buffay: Sure! Yeah! Las Vegas, number one!
Monica Geller: Anybody lose this?
The Croupier: Comin' out. Place your bet. Dice are out. Double or nothin'! Pay the front line!
Monica Geller: Hmm.
Guy: So uh, I'm on my way back to the bathroom.
Rachel Green: Yeah, all right. All right! Just keep walkin'! All right?
Rachel Green: Ross! What are you... I'm sorry sir. I just, I think he just really likes you.
Ross Geller: Hey! Y'know that teacher who had a baby with her student?
Ross Geller: What the? What...
Rachel Green: Hi!
The Flight Attendant: Miss? May I help you?
Rachel Green: Yes, I'm sorry. Do you have any extra pants? Umm, my friend seems to have had a little accident.
Joey Tribbiani: Can I change a hundred?
Blackjack Dealer: Changing one hundred! Good luck sir.
Joey Tribbiani: Let's ride.
Blackjack Dealer: 13.
Joey Tribbiani: Hit me! Ohh man! Wait!
Joey Tribbiani: Chandler! You are not gonna believe this! I have found my identical hand twin!
Chandler Bing: What?
Joey Tribbiani: My identical hand twin!
Chandler Bing: What's an identical hand twin?
Joey Tribbiani: What's it sound like? It's a guy with my identical hands! It was incredible! Chandler, the dealer's hands were exactly like me! It-it was like looking at my hands in a mirror!
Chandler Bing: Are you sure you weren't looking at your hands in a mirror?
Joey Tribbiani: Don't you see what this means?! I can forget about that stupid movie. I'm gonna be a millionaire!
Chandler Bing: How?
Joey Tribbiani: Look, I don't have it all worked out yet, but it's gotta mean big money! Come on! Identical hands!
Chandler Bing: Again I must go back to, how?
Joey Tribbiani: This is Vegas man! People will pay to see freaky stuff! Okay, how much would you pay to see this hand twice? Huh?
Chandler Bing: Y'know, I-I can't really put a price on that Joe.
Joey Tribbiani: Hey, are you unsupporting me again?
Chandler Bing: No! No! I support you 100%! I just didn't, I didn't get it right away. Y'know now I'm caught up! Identical hand twins! It's a million-dollar idea!
Phoebe Buffay: Hey!
Joey Tribbiani: Pheebs!!
Phoebe Buffay: Yeah?
Joey Tribbiani: I found my identical hand twin!
Phoebe Buffay: Ohh, you are so lucky! Hey! So, where's Monica? Did you guys make up?
Chandler Bing: No!
Phoebe Buffay: But she just came up here!
Chandler Bing: That was Joey!
Phoebe Buffay: I wonder where she is. That is so weird.
Chandler Bing: Yeah, well, she's probably talking to Richard.
Phoebe Buffay: Would you stop that! Do you wanna know the first thing she said when she came back from her lunch with Richard? She didn't feel anything for him. She loves you!
Chandler Bing: Really?
Phoebe Buffay: Yes! Now, she feels terrible! She really wants to make up! You gotta find her.
Chandler Bing: Okay.
Phoebe Buffay: Good. I should really start wearing hats!
The Flight Attendant: Welcome to Las Vegas.
The Flight Attendant: Thank you! Enjoy your flight?
Rachel Green: Yes, I did. Thank you very much, it was excellent.
The Flight Attendant: Hope you had a nice flight.
Ross Geller: Ohh, it was the best!


Ross Geller: I think the check in is that way.
Rachel Green: Ahh.
Rachel Green: Hello! Ohh, kids love me.
Phoebe Buffay: Hey!
Ross Geller: Phoebe!
Phoebe Buffay: You guys are here! Yay!
Rachel Green: Hi!
Phoebe Buffay: What? Did you go to a costume party? Let me guess umm Pancho Vila? and you're Bob Saget.
Rachel Green: Pancho Vila?
Phoebe Buffay: Yeah!
Rachel Green: What are you talking about Pheebs? I don't... Oh my God, you drew on me?!
Ross Geller: Hey, you wet my pants!
Phoebe Buffay: Whoa, what kind of party was this?
Rachel Green: Ross, I have been walking around like this since the plane! I can-you have so crossed a line.
Ross Geller: Rach! Wait! The men's room is that way.
Phoebe Buffay: Ugh!
Ross Geller: What?
Phoebe Buffay: That's like the third time that lady's won on a machine I was playing.
Ross Geller: Oooohhh, I'll bet she's one of those people.
Phoebe Buffay: M-M-Mole people?
Ross Geller: What? No-no, a lurker.
Phoebe Buffay: Oh. What's a lurker?
Ross Geller: Okay when you're playing a machine and it hasn't paid out, a lurker waits for you to give up and then...
Phoebe Buffay: Kills you?
Ross Geller: No. They swoop in and steal your jackpot.
Phoebe Buffay: Ohhh!
Ross Geller: Uh-hmm.
Phoebe Buffay: How do you know about this?
Ross Geller: My nana used to do it. That's how she paid for all my dance-karate lessons.
Phoebe Buffay: Dance karate?
Ross Geller: Yes, it's a deadly but beautiful sport.
Rachel Green: All right, it won't come off!
Ross Geller: What?!
Rachel Green: It won't come off!
Ross Geller: Oh my God! Rach-Rach, are-are-are you sure?
Rachel Green: No, actually I took it off then I drew it back on.
Joey Tribbiani: Hey-hey-hey you made it!
Ross Geller: Joey!!
Joey Tribbiani: All right! Hey-hey!
Rachel Green: Hi!!
Joey Tribbiani: Who's your friend? He's hot!
Ross Geller: Thanks man.
Rachel Green: Hi.
Ross Geller: Hey listen I uh, talked to Chandler, sorry about the movie.
Joey Tribbiani: No, don't be sorry. I don't need it anymore. I found my identical hand twin!
Ross Geller: Your what?
Joey Tribbiani: My identical hand twin! The person whose hands are exactly like mine! This thing is a gold mine!
Ross Geller: What?! That's not gonna make you any money!
Joey Tribbiani: Okay. Well, if that's how you feel about it, fine! None of you get to live with me in my great big hand-shaped mansion! Except uh, you Pheebs. You can live in the thumb.
Monica Geller: All right baby, come on! Yes! Yes! I am on fire!
Chandler Bing: See you later Mon.
Monica Geller: Wait Chandler, what are you doing?!
Chandler Bing: What does it look like? I'm going home.
Monica Geller: What? Wait! Why? Chandler! Chandler! Wait! I'm sorry, I was just playing for one second! I was trying to find you to tell you that, look if you don't want me to see Richard again, I won't! He means nothing to me!
Chandler Bing: Come on! I was there! I know he's the love of your life.
Monica Geller: Not any more.
Chandler Bing: Really?!
Monica Geller: Really! All right? Let's forget about this going home stuff and celebrate our anniversary. Okay, this is empty.
Chandler Bing: Yeah, I wanted to make a dramatic scene, but I hate packing.
Joey Tribbiani: Uhh, hey. Where's the other guy?
The Woman Dealer: Which guy?
Joey Tribbiani: He's kinda tall, dark hair, hand looks exactly like this. See?
The Woman Dealer: I don't know about the hands, but the guy that was here before me just went to the bathroom.
Joey Tribbiani: Okay! How you doin'?
The Woman Dealer: Very busy.
Joey Tribbiani: Right! Okay.
Ross Geller: Yes, hello. I have a question. Umm, I used your pen to draw on my friend's face. A beard and a moustache. Thank you. No, she didn't think so. I know it's like anyway, umm well make-up didn't cover it and we've tried everything to get it off and nothing's worked. What-what do we do? Yeah. Uh-huh. Yeah. Oh! Okay. Okay, thank you! Yeah, it's not coming off.
Rachel Green: What?! What else did he say?
Ross Geller: Umm, he said he thought I was funny. So... Okay, look-look umm, let's just go downstairs, we'll have some fun, and you will forget all about it.
Rachel Green: Ross, no! There is no way I am leaving this room looking like this!
Ross Geller: Oh, come on! Rach, it's-it's not that bad.
Rachel Green: Ross, I am a human doodle!!
Ross Geller: Look, just because some idiot drew on your face doesn't mean you shouldn't have any fun! Okay? And besides, hey-hey-hey no one is even gonna look at you. Okay? This is Vegas! Hello! There are tons of other freaks here! There are tons...of...freaks here. No other. No. Come on! No one will notice, I swear!
Ross Geller: Okay, there was some staring and pointing.
Rachel Green: Okay, I need a, I need a drink!
Ross Geller: Oh, hey y'know, they-they really overcharge you for that stuff. But who cares?! Because it's all on me! That is, one big drink!
Rachel Green: Macadamia nut?
Ross Geller: Umm... Wow! That's-that's some pricey nut!
Rachel Green: Hm-mmm!
Ross Geller: Really like those Macadamia nuts, huh?
Rachel Green: Nope!
Phoebe Buffay: Get out of here you lurker! Go on! Get!
Chandler Bing: Hey Pheebs!
Phoebe Buffay: Ohh! You made up!
Monica Geller: Yeah, I couldn't be mad at him for too long.
Chandler Bing: Yeah, she couldn't live without the Chan Love.
Phoebe Buffay: Ohh, get a room.
Monica Geller: We have one.
Phoebe Buffay: I know. Use it.
Joey Tribbiani: Oh-oh-oh, yeah! That's right, you take good care of those babies!
Joey's Hand Twin: Excuse me?
Joey Tribbiani: It's me, Joey!
Joey's Hand Twin: Do I know you?
Joey Tribbiani: Joey!
Joey's Hand Twin: Oh-ho, yeah. Yeah, the hand guy.
Joey Tribbiani: Okay, so what are we going to do about this hand twin thing?!
Joey's Hand Twin: Nothing?
Joey Tribbiani: Look, you and I have been given a gift. Okay? We have to do something with it. Like-like, hand modeling! Huh? Or-or magic! And you know NASA's gonna wanna talk to us!
Joey's Hand Twin: I have to get back to...
Joey Tribbiani: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa-whoa! We could have our own show! Y'know we could clap our hands together people will love it! Huh? And-and-and I wrote a song for us! This hand is your hand! This hand is my hand! Oh wait, that's your hand! No wait, it's my hand!
Joey's Hand Twin: That's okay.
Joey Tribbiani: But you haven't even heard the chorus!
Rachel Green: Oh my God, I'm starting to look like my great aunt, Muriel.
Ross Geller: All right. Y'know what? We don't have to go downstairs! We can bring Vegas up to us! All right, come on, come on, we'll play some blackjack. Here we go. 13.
Rachel Green: Hit me!
Ross Geller: Oohh, 23. Which is what we play to at this casino! You win 10 dollars!
Rachel Green: I bet 20.
Ross Geller: You're right!
Monica Geller: A new pair of shoes for the Chan-Chan man! Yes!
Chandler Bing: Yes! I've-I've never seen a roll like this in my life!
Monica Geller: That's right baby! Okay, what do I want now?
Chandler Bing: Okay, ah umm, ah, a 8. Ah, a 6?
Monica Geller: Pick a number! That is your only job!
Chandler Bing: 8. 8!
Monica Geller: Thank you!
Chandler Bing: If you get this one, we buy everybody here a steak dinner!
Everyone: Yay!!
The Croupier: 8!
Monica Geller: Yes!
Everyone: Yay!!
Monica Geller: We're not really gonna buy these people steak dinners are we?
Chandler Bing: Noo!
Monica Geller: Okay, good! Okay, what do I want now?
Chandler Bing: Ahh, ooh, try a hard 8.
Monica Geller: What?
Chandler Bing: Two fours.
Monica Geller: Okay.
The Croupier: 8!:
A Drunken Gambler: Don't you let her go! You're a lucky guy!
Chandler Bing: Thank you, Mister Drunken Gambler! Okay, you get this and uh, we get the biggest suite in the place! Wait-wait-wait-wait! We get the biggest suite in the place.
Monica Geller: All right, biggest suite in the place. Come on!
Chandler Bing: Yes!! I love you! I can't even remember what we were fighting about!
Monica Geller: Oh, that's because I had lunch with Rich-Me neither! Okay, what do I want now?
Chandler Bing: Another hard 8.
Monica Geller: Hard 8?! We should call it easy 8!
Chandler Bing: Okay, okay, I tell you what. You roll another hard eight; and we get married here tonight.
Drunken Gambler: Go! Come on! Roll!
Everyone: Roll-roll!!
Monica Geller: Shut up!! It just got interesting!
Monica Geller: What did you just say?
Chandler Bing: You roll another hard eight and we get married here tonight.
Monica Geller: Are you serious?!
Chandler Bing: Yes! I love you! I've never loved anybody as much as I love you.
Monica Geller: I've never loved anybody as much as I love you.
Chandler Bing: Okay, so if an eight comes up, we take it as a sign and we do it! {Whoa! Where have I heard that before? Matthew Perry talking about signs in Las Vegas. I guess it must've been some movie I saw.} What do you say?
Monica Geller: Okay!
Chandler Bing: Okay! Come on! Let's go! All right!
Chandler Bing: Okay! That's a four! And where-where's the other one?
Drunken Gambler: It went under the table.
Monica Geller: Nobody move! Okay, you look that way; I'll look this way!
Chandler Bing: All right!
Chandler Bing: Here it is! Here it is!
Monica Geller: That could be a four or a five. It's your call.
Chandler Bing: It's a four.
Monica Geller: I think so too.
Phoebe Buffay: Oh well, lost again. That's it! You and me, outside!
The Lurker: I don't want to see you lose a chunk of that pretty blond hair!
Phoebe Buffay: Be cool! Okay lady, your lurking days are over!
The Lurker: What?!
Phoebe Buffay: Yeah, from now on everyone you lurk, I'm gonna lurk first! You move on to someone else, I'm gonna be one step ahead of you, every single time! And then I'll be on your ass every hour of every day 'til Monday, because that's when I go home. When do you leave?
The Lurker: Also Monday.
Phoebe Buffay: What time? Maybe we can share a cab!
Rachel Green: Hit me. Hit me. Hit me. Hit me. Hit me. Hit me. Hit me.
Ross Geller: We need more cards.
Rachel Green: Yeah, and also we need more umm, drinks. Hold on a second. Whup, okay. Hello! Vegas? Yeah, we would like some more alcohol, and y'know what else? We would like some more beers. Hello? Ohh, I forgot to dial!
Ross Geller: That must be our alcohol and beers!
Joey Tribbiani: Hey!
Ross Geller: Ohh, it's Joey! I love Joey!
Rachel Green: Ohh, I love Joey! Joey lives with a duck!
Joey Tribbiani: Hi!
Rachel Green: Hey!
Joey Tribbiani: Look-look-look you guys, I need some help! Okay? Someone is going to have to convince my hand twin to cooperate!
Ross Geller: I'll do it. Hey, whatever you need me to do, I'm your man. Whoa-oh-whoa! Are you, are you okay?
Joey Tribbiani: Yeah! I'm fine! Thanks! Hey Rach, how you doin'?
Rachel Green: I'm doin' good, baby. How you doin'?
Joey Tribbiani: Ross, don't let her drink anymore!
Ross Geller: Ohh, here's that Macadamia nut!
Rachel Green: Ohhh!!
Ross Geller: Nope! Something else.
Rachel Green: Oops! All right, so what do you want to do now?
Ross Geller: I wanna get out of the room! Y'know, I...I really miss downstairs.
Rachel Green: Okay, y'know what? There's only one way I'm leaving this hotel room.
Ross Geller: Well hello! I'm Ross!
Rachel Green: Good luck to ya!
Ross Geller: Excuse me sir, you've got a little something right here.
Rachel Green: Wow!
Ross Geller: Hello!
Rachel Green: Hello!
Phoebe Buffay: I won! I won! I finally won!
The Lurker: I won! That was my quarter!
Phoebe Buffay: Fine! Here! Take a hike toots!
The Lurker: Excuse me, sir! This lady played my quarter, this is my money.
The Security Guard: Is that true miss?
Phoebe Buffay: Sells drugs to kids.
The Security Guard: What?!
Phoebe Buffay: She sells drugs to kids.
The Lurker: It was my quarter!
The Security Guard: Was it her quarter?
Phoebe Buffay: How about we talk about this over dinner?
The Security Guard: Okay lady, you're out of here.
Phoebe Buffay: No! No, you can't arrest me! No!! I won't go back! I won't go back to that hell hole!!
The Security Guard: I'm just taking you outside!
Phoebe Buffay: Oh, okay.
Monica Geller: Okay, come on, I can't get married until I get something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue.
Chandler Bing: Okay, all right, all right, all right! Okay! Okay, here's something, here's something blue and new.
Monica Geller: You're so efficient. I love you!
Chandler Bing: Let's go!
Monica Geller: No-no-no! We need something old!
Chandler Bing: Ohh, great, I have condom in my wallet I've had since I was twelve.
Monica Geller: That'll work!
Chandler Bing: I don't think so.
Monica Geller: Okay, now we just need something borrowed!
Chandler Bing: Here just...take this.
Monica Geller: That's stealing!
Chandler Bing: No, we'll-we'll bring it back! Just put it under your dress.
Monica Geller: Ohh.
Chandler Bing: Okay, one thing at a time.
Joey Tribbiani: Ahhh!
Joey's Hand Twin: Are you gonna play?
Joey Tribbiani: No-no, I don't really have any money. Not yet, anyway...
Joey's Hand Twin: You can't sit here if you're not gonna play.
Joey Tribbiani: Ooh-ho-ho!
Phoebe Buffay: Hello. My name is Regina Phalange. I'm a businesswoman in town on business. Would you like to see my card? Ooh, what did I do with my file-a-facts? I must've left it in conference room B.
Joey's Hand Twin: 14.
Joey Tribbiani: Hit me!
Phoebe Buffay: Oh my God! May I just say that you two gentlemen have the exact same hands! They're identical! Now, I've never seen anything like that in the business world.
Joey's Hand Twin: Stop it!
Joey Tribbiani: Uhh, Ms. Phalange, may I ask you a question as an impartial person at-at this table?
Joey's Hand Twin: Please stop it!
Joey Tribbiani: Wouldn't you pay good money to see these identical hands showcased in some type of a uh, entertainment venue?
Joey's Hand Twin: If you leave now, I will chop off my hand and give it too you!
The Security Guard: Didn't I just throw you out of here?
Phoebe Buffay: No, you threw out Phoebe. I'm Ms. Regina Phalange. Phalange!
The Security Guard: Come on, lady!
Joey's Hand Twin: Please, please take him too.
Joey Tribbiani: Me?! Oh come on, man! You can't do this! Come on! I'm your hand twin!!
Chandler Bing: Hello! One marriage please!
Monica Geller: Yep, we wanna get married!
The Attendant: Well, there's a service in progress. Have a seat.
Chandler Bing: Dum! Dum-dum-dum! Dum! Dum! Dum! Dum-dum-dum!
Monica Geller: What are you doing?
Chandler Bing: Oh, that's The Wedding March. Does, does that freak you out?
Monica Geller: No, only because that's the graduation song.
Chandler Bing: Okay! This is it! We're gonna get married!
Monica Geller: Are you sure you wanna do this?
Ross Geller: Well, hello, Mrs. Ross!
Rachel Green: Well, hello, Mr. Rachel!
Rachel Green: Wait! Okay!


Chandler Bing: Okay! This is it! We're gonna get married!
Monica Geller: Are you sure you wanna do this?
Ross Geller: Well, hello, Mrs. Ross!
Rachel Green: Well, hello, Mr. Rachel!
Rachel Green: Wait! Okay!
Monica Geller: Whoa!
Chandler Bing: Oh my God!
Joey Tribbiani: Come on Pheebs! Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! Hurry!
Phoebe Buffay: Okay! Okay! Okay!
Chandler Bing: Oh my God!! Is everybody getting married?!!
Attendant: N-No running in the chapel!
Phoebe Buffay: Hey! Don't you give me any of your-Hey!
Chandler Bing: Hey!
Joey Tribbiani: Hey!
Monica Geller: What are you guys doing here?
Joey Tribbiani: Ross and Rachel left us a message saying they were getting married! Isn't that why you guys are here?
Chandler Bing: Yes! Well that-yes.
Monica Geller: Why else would we be here?
Joey Tribbiani: Well! What happened?! Did we miss it?
Chandler Bing: We actually missed it.
Phoebe Buffay: Well, maybe you wouldn't have had you run in the chapel!
Monica Geller: This is insane!
Phoebe Buffay: What's the big deal, y'know? It's not like it's a real marriage.
Chandler Bing: What?!
Phoebe Buffay: Yeah, if you get married in Vegas, you're only married in Vegas.
Monica Geller: What are you talking about? If you get married in Vegas you're married everywhere.
Phoebe Buffay: Really?!
Monica Geller: Yeah!
Phoebe Buffay: Oh my God!-Eh! Well...
Rachel Green: Ohhh!
Ross Geller: Why are we in bed together?
Rachel Green: I don't know. Do-do you have any clothes on?
Ross Geller: Yeah.
Rachel Green: Really?!
Ross Geller: No! But we-we didn't have...sex-uh, did we? I mean, I don't remember much about last night, it was such a blur.
Rachel Green: Oh! I remember laughing! I laughed a lot.
Ross Geller: And we didn't have sex.
Rachel Green: Ohh, I mean, we were really drunk. I'm just glad we didn't do anything stupid.
Ross Geller: Tell me about it.
Joey Tribbiani: Mornin' Pheebs. Well, my movie has officially been canceled.
Phoebe Buffay: Oh Joey, I'm so sorry. You want some of my breakfast?
Joey Tribbiani: Nah, I'm too depressed to eat. I'll probably eat in like 5 minutes. So I guess I'll just fly home with you guys, what time's your flight?
Phoebe Buffay: What about my cab?
Joey Tribbiani: I don't need that anymore.
Phoebe Buffay: No, Joey! You borrowed my cab; you have to drive it back.
Joey Tribbiani: I don't want to drive all the way back by myself, I get so lonely. Oh-ooh! How about you come with me?
Phoebe Buffay: I don't know, it's such a long trip.
Joey Tribbiani: It'll be great! We-we could talk, and play games! Huh? This could be our chance to like renew our friendship.
Phoebe Buffay: Are you asking me to have a frenaissance?
Joey Tribbiani: Sure?
Phoebe Buffay: All right. Although I don't think we need one, I never stopped loving you.
Chandler Bing: Hi!
Joey Tribbiani: Hey.
Monica Geller: Hey.
Chandler Bing: So, has anyone talked to Dr. and Mrs. Geller yet?
Phoebe Buffay: Um-hmm, yeah. They left me a message; they should be here any minute.
Joey Tribbiani: Where is the waitress?! I'm starving!
Chandler Bing: It's a buffet man.
Joey Tribbiani: Oh, here's where I win all my money back!
Chandler Bing: Listen, I gotta talk to you.
Joey Tribbiani: Sure! What's up?
Chandler Bing: Monica and I almost got married last night.
Joey Tribbiani: Oh my God! That's huge! Wait a minute, why come I wasn't invited? And who was going to be your best man? Don't say, "Ross." Do not say, "Ross."
Chandler Bing: Look, I just don't think Monica and I are ready to get married yet! Y'know? I mean, I love her and everything but seeing Ross and Rachel coming out of that chapel was like a, like a wake-up call that Monica and I are moving so fast. Y'know? And, how do I tell her without crushing her?
Joey Tribbiani: Oh! Tell her she's not marriage material.
Chandler Bing: What?!
Joey Tribbiani: Girls say it to me all the time! And believe me, if she's anything like me, she's just gonna be relieved.
Monica Geller: How do I tell Chandler that it's too soon. It's gonna break his heart, he's not gonna think that I don't love him anymore.
Phoebe Buffay: Well you don't.
Monica Geller: Yes I do!
Phoebe Buffay: Good! Good! I was just testing you.
Chandler Bing: Hi.
Monica Geller: Oh hi! Hi! Y'know, we were just talking about bacon.
Phoebe Buffay: No, we were talking about tennis. Tennis is more believable.
Ross Geller: Hey!
The Girls: Hey!
Chandler Bing: Hey!
Ross Geller: What?
Chandler Bing: Are we gonna talk about what you guys did last night? Or...
Rachel Green: I don't know. What do you mean last night? Nothing, nothing uh, happened last night.
Ross Geller: Yeah!
Phoebe Buffay: Uh-huh! Ross invited us all to watch.
Monica Geller: Rach! We weren't gonna miss our friends getting married!
Rachel Green: Who got married?!
Chandler Bing: You did.
Ross Geller: What?! Hello! We didn't get married.
Rachel Green: No, we didn't get married! That's ridiculous!
Ross Geller: We-we-we-I remember being in a chapel.
Rachel Green: Oh my God.
Ross Geller: I-They would not let us get married when we were that drunk!
Rachel Green: No!
Joey Tribbiani: They let you get married when you're drunk! Most people who get married in Vegas are drunk!
Phoebe Buffay: Hell, I'm drunk right now! What? I can't have a mimosa with breakfast?! I'm on vacation!
Monica Geller: What are you guys gonna do?
Rachel Green: Well, I guess we just find a divorce lawyer?
Chandler Bing: Well, I think, I think, Ross already has one. Now, this one's free, right? Because you paid for the first two, so the third one's free.
Ross Geller: Laugh it up, but the joke's on you. Because we don't need to get divorced, okay? We we're just gonna get an annulment.
Joey Tribbiani: An annulment? Ross! I don't think surgery's the answer here.
Phoebe Buffay: Oh-oh, that's your thing.
Ross Geller: What?
Phoebe Buffay: You're thing. You're thing. Y'know? You're the guy who gets divorced.
Everyone: Oh yeah!
Ross Geller: No-no, that's-that's not my thing! I do not love getting divorced!
Phoebe Buffay: Yes you do! This is your third divorce! You love divorce so much you're probably gonna marry it! Then it won't work out and you're gonna have to divorce it, divorcing guy. I'm so drunk.
Monica Geller: So, what do you think we should do?
Chandler Bing: I don't know. But I-I-I know I love you!
Monica Geller: I know I love you!
Chandler Bing: So where are we on the whole going back to the place where they have all the marriages thing? I love you.
Monica Geller: That's a good question. Look umm, last night we let the dice decide. Maybe we should leave it up to fate again. I love you!
Chandler Bing: Yes, we don't get married unless there's a sign! Okay, so say uh, say you roll another eight then there's a definite sign that we should get married.
Monica Geller: All right, eight we get married, but 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 9, 10, 11, 12 we don't get married.
Chandler Bing: Sounds great.
Monica Geller: Okay.
Croupler: Coming in, we got a shooter! Money please.
Monica Geller: Ready?
Chandler Bing: Ready!
Monica Geller: Come on eight.
Chandler Bing: Yes, yes eight.
Croupler: Eight! Easy eight.
Monica Geller: Wow! I can't believe I actually rolled an eight.
Chandler Bing: That was so unlikely. Well, let's get married! I guess.
Monica Geller: Wait a minute. That wasn't a hard eight! Last night I rolled a hard eight.
Chandler Bing: That's right! It was the wrong kind of eight, no wedding! Damnit!
Monica Geller: I wanted it so bad! Wanna go pack?
Chandler Bing: Yeah. We're doing the right thing, right?
Monica Geller: Ohh, of course we are! We left it up to fate. If we were supposed to get married there would be a clear-cut sign.
Phoebe Buffay: Okay, you have 19 questions left. Use them wisely. Come on Joey! You can't win if you don't ask any QUESTIONS!!!
Joey Tribbiani: What?!
Phoebe Buffay: Well, you promised me a fun road trip! We've been on the road six hours and you've been asleep for five and a half! We are switching at the next rest stop and you are going to drive all the way back! That will be your punishment, you greedy sleeper!
Joey Tribbiani: All right. All right.
Phoebe Buffay: Yeah! And until then you are going to sing to me because the radio's broken and you are selfish but have a nice voice.
Joey Tribbiani: Really? I don't...
Phoebe Buffay: Sing!!
Joey Tribbiani: I wanna rock and roll all night!
Joey Tribbiani: Man, this is a long drive! Are my eyes open? No!
Hitchhiker: Morning!
Ross Geller: Hey!
Rachel Green: Hey, hubby!
Ross Geller: Yeah. Yeah, actually um, I wanted to talk to you about that whole annulment thing?
Rachel Green: Uh-huh.
Ross Geller: I'm not going to do that.
Rachel Green: Okay! So, we'll just stay married.
Ross Geller: Yes, exactly!
Rachel Green: And I will make everyone call me Mrs. Geller!
Ross Geller: Wow! This is so amazing. I uh, I really thought I'd have to talk you into this more.
Rachel Green: Okay, see now I'm scared because I don't actually think you're kidding.
Ross Geller: I'm-I'm not kidding. Look I-I, I can't have three failed marriages. I can't. Okay? I-I am not gonna be that guy!
Rachel Green: What-wh-what so we'll just stay married forever?!
Ross Geller: Okay, look, how is this gonna affect you? Really? I mean you fill some form out once and a while and instead of checking the box that says Ms you check the box that says Mrs.! It's right next to it!
Rachel Green: Ohh, okay, I'm sorry. You're right. Y'know what? We absolutely can stay married, because I was under the impression that the boxes were far away from each other. All right, look, just please, take a moment here and think about what you're asking of me.
Ross Geller: I'm asking you to do me a favor.
Rachel Green: You are asking me to be your wife!
Ross Geller: And as my wife I think you should grant me this favor.
Monica Geller: That kid really kicked me hard on the plane.
Chandler Bing: Well you did pull his hair.
Monica Geller: He took my snack!
Chandler Bing: I'm not getting into this again!
Monica Geller: Okay! Oh God, y'know what? It's really bad.
Chandler Bing: Well, I told you not to walk. Here. There. Okay.
Monica Geller: This doesn't mean anything, does it?
Chandler Bing: No!
Monica Geller: Okay.
Phoebe Buffay: How could you pick up a hitchhiker?! He could be a rape-, a rapist or a killer or something!
Joey Tribbiani: Don't you think I asked him that before he got in?!
Phoebe Buffay: Y'know what? I'm not talking to you! You go back to sleep! And you, are you a rapist?!
Hitchhiker: No!
Phoebe Buffay: Do you like car games?
Hitchhiker: Yeah, y'know the license plate game?
Phoebe Buffay: I love the license plate game!
Joey Tribbiani: Ooh, I'll play! I'll play!
Phoebe Buffay: No-No! You need your sleep. Night-night! Shh!
Ross Geller: Hey!
Rachel Green: Hey!
Ross Geller: Listen, I know you wanted to talk to me, but I have an idea that may make you want to stay married. We register, and you get to keep all the presents!
Rachel Green: No! Ross, come on! No! Listen, look I thought a lot about how to tell you this and the bottom line, Ross, is we can not stay married.
Ross Geller: I don't know if it's true.
Rachel Green: Oh b-b-but it is!
Ross Geller: Oh, okay, y'know what this is? This is a difference of opinion. And when that happens in a marriage...
Rachel Green: Oh Ross, come on! This is not, this is not a marriage!! This is the world's worst hangover! Ross, listen, if you do not get this annulment, I will!
Ross Geller: All right. All right, I'll do it.
Rachel Green: Thank you. Hey-hey umm, uh, is there, is there any such thing as an annulment shower?
Hitchhiker: Wait! Wait! There is the train station!
Phoebe Buffay: Oh, okay.
Hitchhiker: This is where I get off. Well, I have your address and phone number.
Phoebe Buffay: And I have your name and the fact that you're a drifter, so the ball's pretty much in your court.
Hitchhiker: All right, see ya Pheebs.
Joey Tribbiani: Come on Pheebs! I can't take this anymore! Let-let me make it up to you. Huh? Ground control to Major Tom. Commencing countdown, engines on. Take your protein pills and put your helmet on!
Phoebe Buffay: Stop it! Stop it no! That's not fair! Y'know I can't resist that beautiful voice!
Joey Tribbiani: Pheebs, I am so sorry! I know I promised you a fun road trip with your friend and I didn't deliver. But-but-but now I know that you think being awake is an important part of friendship! So, so, so I will strive to-to stay awake for as long as I know you.
Phoebe Buffay: You can still sleep at night and stuff.
Joey Tribbiani: Well, thank you. So, can we play 20 Questions now? I've got a really good one! I've been thinking about it since Kansas.
Phoebe Buffay: Okay. Is it a kind of hot sandwich?
Joey Tribbiani: Yes.
Phoebe Buffay: Is it a meatball sub?
Joey Tribbiani: That is incredible! You are the master!
Rachel Green: Huh, that's funny. You look like you're gonna be the...
Monica Geller: No, don't say it! Don't even think it!
Rachel Green: All right. Okay Chandler, enjoy your handful.
Chandler Bing: All right, should we just, should we just get married? Y'know? I mean should we just do it? All the signs are telling us to do it.
Monica Geller: I'm sick of the signs! It's too fast, I'm happy the way things are!
Chandler Bing: Me too!
Monica Geller: I don't want things to change! Do you?
Chandler Bing: No!
Monica Geller: All right then, then nothing changes! Everything is great! Everything stays the same! And you go unpack because it's been three days and it's driving me insane!
Chandler Bing: Jeez, relax! It's not like we're mar-ah-ah!!
Chandler Bing: Y'know I was thinking, what if I uh, unpack here?
Monica Geller: Then all your stuff would be here.
Chandler Bing: Well, what if all my stuff was here?
Monica Geller: Then you'd be going back and forth all the time, I mean it doesn't make any sense.
Chandler Bing: Okay. What if we lived together and you understand what I'm saying?
Monica Geller: Live together? There have been no signs for that.
Chandler Bing: Me asking is kind of a sign.
Monica Geller: YES!!!!!!!!
Chandler Bing: Okay!!!!!
Monica Geller: Yes! Okay! Okay! Wait-wait-wait!
Chandler Bing: Okay.
Monica Geller: Here's your key
Chandler Bing: Oh thanks.
Monica Geller: Here's your key. All right, you have to christen it! Now, go out and come back in!
Chandler Bing: The door hasn't been locked in five years, but okay! Ready?!
Monica Geller: Ready!
Chandler Bing: Okay, a little problem. The key broke in the lock and I can't get in!
Monica Geller: Wait! Oh my God! I can't get out!
Chandler Bing: This is not a sign!
Monica Geller: No, it's not a sign! It's a very old key!
Chandler Bing: It's an old key!
Monica Geller: Oh my God it's old!
Chandler Bing: I love you!
Monica Geller: I love you!
Chandler Bing: Are you hugging the door right now.
Monica Geller: No.
Chandler Bing: Yeah-yeah, me neither.
Ross Geller: Hey!
Rachel Green: Hey, so did everything go all right with the annulment?
Ross Geller: Oh, yeah, no problems. It's all taken care of.
Rachel Green: Ross, thank you. Hey, do you guys wanna go see a movie?
Ross Geller: Oh yeah, why not?
Rachel Green: Pheebs?
Phoebe Buffay: No thanks, I've already seen one.
Rachel Green: Okay, umm, I'm gonna get my sweater.
Ross Geller: Okay. You uh, you wanna hear something weird?
Phoebe Buffay: Always.
Ross Geller: I didn't get the annulment.
Phoebe Buffay: What?!
Ross Geller: We're still married! Don't tell Rachel. See you later.
Joey Tribbiani: What are you doing?
Chandler Bing: The key's stuck in the lock.
Joey Tribbiani: I can fix it. Hold on. Look out. Look out.
Chandler Bing: It still doesn't work.
Joey Tribbiani: I'm not finished.
Chandler Bing: Oh.
Chandler Bing: Nice job Joe! You're quite the craftsmen.


Ross Geller: Hey!
Rachel Green: Hey, so did everything go okay with the annulment?
Ross Geller: Oh, yeah, no problems. It's all taken care of.
Rachel Green: Ross, thank you. Hey, do you guys wanna go see a movie?
Ross Geller: Oh yeah, why not?
Rachel Green: Okay, umm, I'm gonna get my sweater.
Ross Geller: Okay. You uh, you wanna hear something weird?
Phoebe Buffay: Always.
Ross Geller: I didn't get the annulment.
Phoebe Buffay: What?!
Ross Geller: We're still married! Don't tell Rachel. See you later.
Ross Geller: Hey, do you have any gum?
Rachel Green: Oh? Yeah! Sure!
Phoebe Buffay: Wait! Wait! Hi! Listen, Ross can I just talk to you for just a second?
Rachel Green: Oh but Phoebe, we're gonna be late for the movie.
Phoebe Buffay: Oh, there's a cab! Taxi!! Good timing, my God, huh? Here you go.
Rachel Green: Yeah, we're, we're actually just gonna walk 'cause it's right up there at the Angelica.
Phoebe Buffay: Oh, the Angelica!! Go! Go! You didn't get the annulment?!!
Ross Geller: I know.
Phoebe Buffay: Ross?!
Ross Geller: Well, I tried! But when I got to my lawyer's office all I could hear was, "Three divorces. Three divorces!" Look, I just don't want my tombstone to read, Ross Gellar, Three Divorces.
Phoebe Buffay: Don't be worried about that! Your tombstone can say whatever you want it to say! It could say, Ross Geller, Good at Marriage! Y'know? Mine's gonna say Phoebe Buffay, Buried Alive.
Ross Geller: Look, all I know is I-I can't have another failed marriage!
Phoebe Buffay: So okay what? You're gonna be married to a girl who doesn't even know about it?!-Op, woman! Sorry.
Ross Geller: Well, okay so, I don't have it all worked out quite yet. Just don't say anything to Rachel, please?
Phoebe Buffay: Rachel is one of my closest friends. Although, being the only one who knows anything about this does makes me feel special. Okay!
Rachel Green: Okay, stop-stop! Phoebe?!
Phoebe Buffay: Hey Rach!
Rachel Green: What was that?!
Phoebe Buffay: Sorry, mix up. Hey, how was the movie?
Rachel Green: I haven't seen it yet!
Phoebe Buffay: Well then you'd better hurry! The Angelica! Go! Go!
Rachel Green: Noooooooo!!
Chandler Bing: Y'know when we move in together, can I get a gumball machine?
Monica Geller: Of course! Joey wouldn't let you have one?
Chandler Bing: No. When it comes to sweets, he's surprisingly strict.
Monica Geller: Hey, have you figured out a way to tell him you're moving out?
Chandler Bing: No, no, I keep trying, y'know? I can get out, "Joey, I have too..." but then I lose my nerve and I always finish with, "...go to the bathroom." He may think I'm sick.
Monica Geller: Y'know, I really have to tell Rachel, but I... We just have to get it over with! Y'know, the next time we see them we're just gonna tell them. Okay? That's it.
Chandler Bing: Oh, so that's this is gonna work now? You're just gonna order me around all the time?
Monica Geller: Pretty much.
Chandler Bing: All right.
Joey Tribbiani: Hey Monica!
Monica Geller: Hi!
Joey Tribbiani: Hey man, you feeling any better?
Monica Geller: Joey, we have something to tell you.
Joey Tribbiani: Oh my God! You're pregnant!
Chandler Bing: No-o-o! No? No-o-o! Look Joey, here's the thing, Monica and I have decided to live together, here. So, I'm gonna be moving out man.
Joey Tribbiani: Wow! Well, uh... Hey! I'm really happy for you guys! Congratulations! See you later.
Monica Geller: Wait! Joey! Joey! Are you okay?!
Joey Tribbiani: Yeah, I gotta go! I got an acting job. Like you'd believe that. This sucks!
Chandler Bing: Look, I-I'm just gonna be right across the hall and I promise you, the minute Monica and I break up I'm moving right back in with you!
Joey Tribbiani: Okay! Look-look-look, uh, if you're gonna be moving in with him I feel it's my responsibility to tell you the truth about him! Okay? He's a terrible roommate! Terrible! He uh, forgets to umm... Oh-oh he always, he always umm-Oh, who am I kidding! He's the best roommate ever!
Monica Geller: Hey Pheebs!
Phoebe Buffay: Hey!
Monica Geller: Hey, have you seen Rachel?
Phoebe Buffay: No, why?
Monica Geller: I have some pretty exciting news!
Phoebe Buffay: You're pregnant!
Monica Geller: No! Chandler and I are moving in together!
Phoebe Buffay: Ooh! That's Good! Wow! But Now If You Were Pregnant, What Would You Name It? Hint Phoebe.
Ross Geller: Hey! Hi!
Monica Geller: Hey!
Ross Geller: What's up?
Monica Geller: Well umm, Chandler and I are moving in together.
Ross Geller: Oh my God. Ohh, my little sister and my best friend...shaking up. Oh, that's great. That's great.
Phoebe Buffay: Guys, I'm happy too.
Monica Geller: Okay, come here!
Phoebe Buffay: Wow! Big day huh? People moving in, people getting annulled...
Monica Geller: Okay, I gotta go find Rachel but umm, if you guys see her could you please try to give her some really bad news so that mine doesn't seem so bad?
Ross Geller: Bye.
Phoebe Buffay: Hmm, something bad to tell Rachel... Bad news for Rachel, what could that be?!
Ross Geller: Could ya just, could ya just lay off, please? All right? My life is an embarrassment! I should go live under somebody's stairs!
Phoebe Buffay: Ross, it's not that big a deal! So you'll been divorced three times, you'll still have a life, you'll go on dates...
Ross Geller: No! No, I won't! I'll be at the bottom of the dating barrel now. The only guys below me will be Four Divorce Guy uh, Murderer Guy, and-and, Geologists.
Phoebe Buffay: Ross, you're being ridiculous! Okay? You are cute and smart and sweet and that is much more important than three stupid divorces!
Ross Geller: Oh yeah? Have you ever dated anyone who has been divorced three times?
Phoebe Buffay: Y'know that's really fair. Y'know? Most guys who have been divorced three times are like 60. Ross, nobody cares about this except you! This-this embarrassment thing is all in your head! Here, I'll show you! Come here.
Ross Geller: What?! Why?
Phoebe Buffay: Hi! Hi! Listen, my friend Ross is about to be divorced for the third time, but wouldn't you date him?
Ross Geller: And if you wait right here, I'll go get Ross.
Chandler Bing: Hey!
Monica Geller: Ugh, I thought you were Rachel!
Chandler Bing: What gave me away?
Monica Geller: I just tell her, I have to get it over with. I told Ross and Phoebe and she's the only one left!
Chandler Bing: Okay, so that's it, everybody knows! It's official, we're moving in together. No turning back. Are ya scared? Are ya?
Monica Geller: No.
Chandler Bing: Wow that was my scariest voice! You're very brave.
Rachel Green: Hey!
Chandler Bing: Hey.
Rachel Green: Ugh, the worse day! Y'know, you think you're making progress at work and then your boss calls you Raquel.
Chandler Bing: Hey listen, for the first four years of my work everybody called me Sha-la-lap. Seriously.
Rachel Green: I believe you. So, it was right in the middle of a staff meeting so of course no one else wants to correct her so everyone else is calling me Raquel! By the end of the day, the mailroom guys were calling me Rocky!
Chandler Bing: Well, I-I still think you're very-very nice and very pretty...
Rachel Green: What?
Chandler Bing: All yours babe.
Monica Geller: Have a seat. Okay, listen umm, Chandler and I are going to live together, here.
Rachel Green: Oh my God! That's so great! I'm so happy for you guys!
Monica Geller: Really?!
Rachel Green: And that was so sweet of you to ask! Oh my God, the three of us are gonna have such a good time living together!
Monica Geller: Yes, we are.
Rachel Green: And Chandler, you're gonna have to watch those long showers you take in the morning because you know Raquel can't be late.
Chandler Bing: Rach...
Monica Geller: Yeah, he's gonna work on that.
Rachel Green: Ohh! This is so exciting! Oh God... Come and knock on my door...
Monica Geller: We'll be waiting for you...
Ross Geller: ...once you know the stories, it's not that bad. First marriage, wife's hidden sexuality, not my fault. Second marriage, said the wrong name at the altar, a little my fault. Third marriage, well they really shouldn't allow you to get married when you're that drunk and have writing all over your face, Nevada's fault.
Phoebe Buffay: Okay, so what do you think ladies? Who wouldn't be interested? Who wouldn't want to date him?
Stephanie: Well the divorces don't bother me, I'd date him. But, not while he's still married.
Phoebe Buffay: Okay, what about you? Wouldn't you want a date?
Karin: Actually, I'm dating at all anymore. See, I figured out that I was only dating guys that were like y'know bad for me, so until I work that out...
Phoebe Buffay: Whatever! What about you Meg?
Meg: Well, I don't care about the divorces either, but I wouldn't date him. It's just that he's obviously still in love with this Rachel girl.
Ross Geller: What?!
Phoebe Buffay: She said, "He's obviously still in love with this Rachel girl."
Ross Geller: This is crazy! I mean, yes-yes Rachel is my good friend and I-I have loved her in the past, but now, she is just my wife! Phoebe, will you-will you help me out here?
Phoebe Buffay: Well, I thought you loved her when you-when you married her.
Ross Geller: We were drunk! I would've married uh, Joey with that amount of alcohol!
Phoebe Buffay: Hey! You could do a lot worse than Joey Tribbiani!!
Ross Geller: Look, I'm sorry, but you guys are wrong. I just don't want to be divorced three times.
Phoebe Buffay: Yes, and now he's using this three divorces reason because he wants to stay married to her because he loves her. I must say, "Well done!" Bravo Meg.
Ross Geller: Okay! Fine! Fine! If-if this is what you think, forget about the whole three divorce thing! Okay, I-I'll go to my lawyer's office right now and get this marriage annulled! Okay?! Because she means nothing to me! Noth-Nothing!!
Meg: Okay now I wouldn't date you because you seem a little creepy.
Karin: I am so attracted to him right now.
Chandler Bing: Okay, when are we gonna tell Rachel what is actually gonna happen?
Monica Geller: Soon! I-I just couldn't before. You saw how upset Joey got! I couldn't do that to her, she's my best friend!
Chandler Bing: Well, Joey's my best friend.
Monica Geller: I'm not your best friend?
Chandler Bing: You just said... Of course you're my best friend. Would you please tell Rachel though?
Monica Geller: All right, all right, at least I'm prepared.
Chandler Bing: Okay. Oh yes.
Monica Geller: Hey!
Chandler Bing: Hey-hey!
Monica Geller: These aren't for you! Are you upset?
Chandler Bing: I am now!
Rachel Green: Hey roomie!
Chandler Bing: Okay, bye!
Monica Geller: Rach, there's something uh, important I have to tell you.
Rachel Green: Are you pregnant?!
Monica Geller: No! But, I'm throwing this shirt away! I think there was a little misunderstanding before.
Rachel Green: Um-hmm.
Monica Geller: Umm, when I said that uh, that Chandler and I wanted to umm, live together we meant alone together.
Rachel Green: Oh my God! Oh, that's funny, I can't believe I did that.
Monica Geller: Oh no sweetie, no! This is my fault, I wasn't clear! I'm really sorry. And listen, you take as much time as you need to move out okay? There's absolutely no rush.
Rachel Green: Okay.
Monica Geller: Okay. Don't you want a cookie?
Rachel Green: Sure? Thanks.
Monica Geller: Maybe, do you need a tissue?
Rachel Green: Monica, where did you get these?!
Monica Geller: I made them!
Rachel Green: Ooh, good God, they're so yummy!
Joey Tribbiani: God, it's gonna so weird like when I come home and you're not here. Y'know? No more Joey and Chan's. No more J and C's. "You wanna go over to Joey and Chandler's?" "Can't, its not there."
Chandler Bing: Look, I'm just gonna be across the hall, we can still do all the same stuff.
Joey Tribbiani: Yeah but we won't be able to like get up in the middle of the night and have those long talks about our feelings and the future.
Chandler Bing: Not once did we do that.
Monica Geller: Hi.
Chandler Bing: Hey!
Joey Tribbiani: Hi.
Monica Geller: So I, I told Rachel it was just gonna be the two of us.
Chandler Bing: Oh yeah? Well, how'd she take it?
Monica Geller: Really well. Yeah. Surprisingly well. Yeah, she didn't cry. She wasn't angry or sad.
Chandler Bing: And you're upset because you didn't make your best friend cry?
Monica Geller: I mean, all I'm asking for is just a little emotion! Is that too much to ask after six years?! I mean what? Are-are-are Rachel and I not as close as you guys?! I mean do we not have as much fun?! Don't I deserve a few tears?!! I mean we-we told Joey, he cried his eyes out!
Joey Tribbiani: Hey! I did not cry my eyes out!! Come on! It's like the end of an era! No more J-man and Channie's!!
Chandler Bing: Okay, I gotta ask, who calls us that?!
Russell: You got married again.
Ross Geller: Yes.
Russell: So that's your second marriage in two years.
Ross Geller: Yes, second in two years. Third overall.
Russell: Ross, I have been a divorce attorney for 23 years and never had I so much business from one client. Why don't you tell me what happened.
Ross Geller: Basically, Rachel and I were in Vegas and we got drunk...
Russell: I'm sorry, is this the same Rachel who's name you said at the altar in the second marriage?
Ross Geller: Yes-yes-yes! But, I-I do not love her.
Russell: Oh, that's better then.
Ross Geller: This was just a drunken mistake and I need to get it annulled.
Russell: I see. Have you considered therapy?
Ross Geller: I think just the annulment for today.
Russell: There are a couple of forms to fill out.
Ross Geller: Easy.
Russell: And we'll need to have witnesses who can testify that you were not of uh, sound mind.
Ross Geller: No problem.
Russell: And we'll need you and Rachel to testify before a judge.
Ross Geller: Ooh! There's no way to do this without her? 'Cause I kinda all ready told her uh, it was, it was already taken care of.
Russell: Of course you did. Look Ross, you can't get an annulment unless you and Rachel are both there.
Ross Geller: Uh-ha, what about someone who looks like Rachel? I will think about the therapy.
Rachel Green: Hey!
Monica Geller: Hey. So um, I was thinking that maybe we should start dividing up our stuff.
Rachel Green: Okay!
Monica Geller: Y'know, no point in dragging it out. Dragging out the long process of you moving out and us not living together anymore.
Rachel Green: Okay.
Monica Geller: Hey Rach, what about this? Huh? Who-who gets this? See, I don't know if I want it because it might be y'know, too many memories!
Rachel Green: What the hell is that?
Monica Geller: I don't know. Hey, Rachel, you want the big plate? I want you to have the big plate.
Rachel Green: Wow! Mon, thanks! I love this plate!
Monica Geller: Something to remember me by!
Rachel Green: Mon, honey you're not dying. I'm just moving out. Y'know, I mean we're gonna see each other all the time.
Monica Geller: But still, it's a big change. The end of an era, you might say!
Rachel Green: Are you okay? You're not blinking.
Monica Geller: I'm fine! I just, I'm thinking how much it's an end of era.
Rachel Green: Oh, all right. But y'know I gotta say, I don't, I don't think six years counts as an era.
Monica Geller: An era is defined as a significant period of time. Now, it was significant to me, maybe it wasn't significant to you!
Rachel Green: What is the matter with you?!
Monica Geller: What is the matter with you?!! Why aren't you more upset?! Aren't you gonna be sad that we're not gonna be living together anymore?! I mean aren't you gonna miss me at all?!
Rachel Green: All right, fine, but don't get mad at me. It's-it's just a little hard to believe.
Monica Geller: What's hard to believe?
Rachel Green: Well y'know, it's you guys. You-you do this kind of stuff! Y'know? I mean, you-you were gonna get married in Vegas and then you backed out! I guess I'm not upset because I don't see you guys going through with it. I'm sorry.
Monica Geller: Rachel, it's going to happen. Chandler is gonna move in here.
Rachel Green: But I...
Monica Geller: No-no, wait! Just let me finish, okay? This isn't something that we just, we just impulsively decided in-in Vegas, this is something we both really want. And it is going to happen.
Rachel Green: It is? Really?
Monica Geller: Yeah, sweetie.
Rachel Green: I mean we're not, we're not gonna live together anymore?
Monica Geller: No.
Rachel Green: What? Oh my God! I'm gonna miss you so much!
Monica Geller: I'm gonna miss you!
Rachel Green: I mean it's the end of an era!
Monica Geller: I know!
Phoebe Buffay: Okay, bye!
Ross Geller: Oh no.
Phoebe Buffay: So? Did you get the annulment?
Ross Geller: I couldn't.
Phoebe Buffay: I knew it! Because you love Rachel.
Ross Geller: It's not that. Okay? Annulments are more complicated than I...
Phoebe Buffay: Yeah, complicated 'cause of the love.
Ross Geller: I... I do, I do not love Rachel. I'm gonna tell her right now about the whole thing so we can get this marriage annulled as fast as possible. Okay? Would I do that if I loved her?
Phoebe Buffay: I've never been more convinced of your love for her.
Ross Geller: I do not have feelings for Rachel! Okay?!
Ross Geller: Ohh, what's wrong?!
Rachel Green: Monica and Chandler are really moving in here and I have to move out and everything is changing.
Ross Geller: Oh my-Come here! Come here! It's okay. Everything's gonna be okay.
Rachel Green: Thank you.
Ross Geller: Of course.
Joey Tribbiani: So, Ross and Rachel got married, Monica and Chandler almost got married, do you think you and I should hook up?
Phoebe Buffay: Oh we do, but not just yet.
Joey Tribbiani: Really?! Well, when?
Phoebe Buffay: Okay umm, well, first Chandler and Monica will get married and be filthy rich by the way. Yeah. But it won't work out.
Joey Tribbiani: Wow.
Phoebe Buffay: I know. Then, I'm gonna marry Chandler for the money and you'll marry Rachel and have the beautiful kids.
Joey Tribbiani: Great!
Phoebe Buffay: But then we ditch those two and that's when we get married. We'll have Chandler's money and Rachel's kids and getting custody will be easy because of Rachel's drinking problem.
Joey Tribbiani: Oh-oh, what about Ross?
Phoebe Buffay: I don't want to go into the whole thing, but umm, we have words and I kill him.


Chandler Bing: Hey!
Phoebe Buffay: Hey! Check it out! This is unbelievable! Joey has been holding his breath for almost four minutes!
Joey Tribbiani: Dude! What are yo-you trying to kill me?!
Rachel Green: Pheebs, I wanna ask you something.
Phoebe Buffay: Uh-huh, what?
Rachel Green: Well since I'm movin' out and-and you're so beautiful...
Phoebe Buffay: Oh!
Rachel Green: ...how about I move in with you?
Phoebe Buffay: Well, that would be great but then what do we do about Denise?
Monica Geller: Who's Denise?
Phoebe Buffay: My roommate.
Rachel Green: You have a roommate?!
Phoebe Buffay: Yes, Denise. Denise!
Joey Tribbiani: Hey, what is with the secrecy Phoebe? Huh? And what about this Denise, is she cute?
Chandler Bing: Pheebs, I don't understand. How can you have a roommate that none of us know anything about?
Phoebe Buffay: Maybe because you never listen to anything that I say. I talk about her all the time! DENISE!!!!!
Joey Tribbiani: Hey Rach, listen I was thinkin' uh, I'm gonna have an extra room over at my place...
Rachel Green: Oh, that's true.
Joey Tribbiani: Yeah, why don't you move in with me? It'll be great! We could stay up late, watch movies, and you know about Naked Thursday's right?
Rachel Green: Yeah, yeah I think I'm gonna find my own place.
Chandler Bing: Hey-hey! I thought Naked Thursday's was just our thing man!
Phoebe Buffay: Hey.
Ross Geller: Hey!
Phoebe Buffay: So, what did Rachel say when you told her you were still married to her?
Ross Geller: Oh, that. Umm, she took it really well.
Phoebe Buffay: You didn't tell her did you?
Ross Geller: No.
Phoebe Buffay: Of course not, because you're in love with her.
Ross Geller: I am not in love with her. She was very upset about having to move out so I eh, didn't tell her we were still married because she would only get more upset. I-I just comforted her, as a friend.
Phoebe Buffay: What do you mean, comforted her?
Ross Geller: It's nothing, I just gave her a hug.
Phoebe Buffay: Ah-ha! A classic sign of love, the hug!
Ross Geller: It's also a sign of friendship.
Phoebe Buffay: Yeah, not in your case Lovey Loverson.
Ross Geller: It was a hug!
Phoebe Buffay: Okay, just tell me this, did you or did you not smell her hair?
Ross Geller: S-s-smell her hair? What if I did?
Phoebe Buffay: Ninety percent of a women's pheromones come out the top of her head! That's why, that's why women are shorter. So that men will fall in love when they hug them! Oh come on Ross, you're a scientist.
Ross Geller: I was hugging her as a friend. It's not my fault her-her hair got in my face, she's got a lot of it and it smells all-all uh...coconutty. What?! Oh, that doesn't mean I have feelings for Rachel! Maybe it means I have feelings for coconuts!
Phoebe Buffay: Okay, whatever you say. But just be careful, all right? Rachel's not in the same place you are.
Ross Geller: If the place you are referring too is being in love, then she is in the same place as me because I am not in that place!
Phoebe Buffay: Okay, I didn't understand that, but y'know, maybe that's 'cause you were speaking the secret language of love!
Joey Tribbiani: Hey! Dude, some guy just called for you.
Chandler Bing: Who was it?
Joey Tribbiani: I don't know! How about, "Thanks for taking the message." Jeez!
Monica Geller: Okay listen, y'know when you move in Rachel's room is gonna be empty, you wanna talk about what we want to do with it?
Chandler Bing: Sure!
Monica Geller: Okay, I was thinking we should have a beautiful guest room, right? With a mahogany sleigh bed and bedside tables with flowers on them all the time! And we could have a roll top desk with comment cards on them so people could say how much they loved staying here!! Okay, whatever, I really haven't thought about it that much.
Chandler Bing: Well, I like that idea. Obviously! I was thinking maybe-maybe-maybe it could be a game room, y'know? I mean you can buy old arcade games like uh, like Space Invaders and Asteroids for $200, the real ones! The big-big ones!
Monica Geller: No.
Chandler Bing: Okay so you mean no as in, "Gee Chandler, what an interesting idea. Let's discuss it before we reject it completely."
Monica Geller: Oh, I'm sorry. Of course I mean that. Interesting idea, umm, talk about it, but no.
Chandler Bing: So, that's it?
Monica Geller: I just don't think arcade games go in the beautiful guest room. The beautiful guest room is gonna be filled with antiques.
Chandler Bing: Which is why Asteroids is perfect! It's the oldest game!
Monica Geller: What do you have against the beautiful guest room?
Chandler Bing: I don't have anything against the beautiful guest room, especially since everybody we know lives about 30 seconds away!
Monica Geller: Are you mocking me?
Chandler Bing: No, I'm not mocking you, or you beautiful guest room.
Joey Tribbiani: Hey, what's up?
Chandler Bing: Nothing, Monica and I had a stupid fight.
Joey Tribbiani: But you're still moving in together, right? Because my ad came out today.
Chandler Bing: "Wanted. Female roommate, non-smoker, non-ugly." Nice!
Joey Tribbiani: Yeah? I just figured y'know, after living with you it'd be an interesting change of pace to have a female roommate, y'know? Someone I can learn from, someone-someone who's different than me. And what's more different than me; a guy who's not 19 than say a girl who is 19? Enh? Not just a hat rack my friend!
Rachel Green: Pheebs, I have to ask you...
Phoebe Buffay: Shhhhhh! I'm swamped right now.
Rachel Green: You're just staring into space.
Phoebe Buffay: Umm, I'm trying to move that pencil.
Rachel Green: This one?
Phoebe Buffay: It worked!
Rachel Green: Pheebs, this whole apartment thing is just a nightmare! Every place I can afford comes with a roommate who is a freak. I mean, look at this; "Wanted. Female roommate, non-smoker, non-ugly." It's just, there is nothing! The city's full!
Phoebe Buffay: Wait, no, look at this! "Two bedroom, two bath, must be non-smoker, Satan worshipers okay..." Oh, yeah, but it's on the ground floor.
Ross Geller: Hey!
Rachel Green: Hey.
Ross Geller: Rach, uh, you still looking for a place?
Rachel Green: Yeah! Why?
Ross Geller: Okay, there's this guy, Warren, from the museum and he's going on a dig for like two years and he's got this great place he needs to sublet. So uh, you interested?
Rachel Green: That sounds great! I'd love to live at Warren's!! I love Warren! Thank you!
Ross Geller: Don't thank me! If you wanna thank something, thank the volcano that erupted thousands of years ago, killing but perfectly preserving an entire civilization. Here's Warren's number.
Rachel Green: Oh, this is great! I am gonna call him right now! Oh, thank you!
Ross Geller: Okay, you go grab it!
Phoebe Buffay: I saw it.
Ross Geller: I don't know what you're talking about.
Phoebe Buffay: Umm, I'm talking about that which you already know but won't admit. You love her again; you re-love her!
Ross Geller: Look, I do not re-love her.
Phoebe Buffay: I can't believe you won't just admit it! Okay, just promise me that you won't do anything stupid.
Ross Geller: Look, we're just friends now! Okay? Why would I do anything stupid?
Rachel Green: Ugh!!! Well, the apartment is already subletted! I mean, this is just hopeless. I'm never gonna find anything.
Ross Geller: You can live with me.
Rachel Green: What?!
Phoebe Buffay: What?!
Ross Geller: What?
Rachel Green: Oh my God! Are you serious?!
Ross Geller: Uh-huh.
Rachel Green: I would love to live with you Ross; that's-that's great! Thank you!
Ross Geller: Well, I'm-I'm just glad I could, y'know, help you out.
Phoebe Buffay: Wow! I'm-I'm so happy for you guys. This is so-so, not stupid.
Rachel Green: Ross-Ross, you have no idea what this means to me! I mean, I mean I was gonna be homeless. You just saved me! You're my hero!
Ross Geller: Hero, I uh, I don't know-well, all right.
Rachel Green: Oh, I have to go tell Monica what a wonderful brother she has!
Ross Geller: Oh please! You're gonna say things now, aren't ya?
Phoebe Buffay: No. No, I won't. But I should tell you this, this exact same thing happened to my roommate Denise. She moved in with a guy who was secretly married to her and he said he didn't love her, but he really did, and it just blew up! And that's how she ended up living with me! Okay, that's a lie.
Chandler Bing: Hi.
Monica Geller: Hi.
Chandler Bing: Hi, listen, I'm sorry about before. I don't need to have a game room. I mean when I was a kid I only played those games because I couldn't get girls, and now I can 'em-Now, I have you. Not-not that I think that I have you or think of you as property in any sort of way, I see women...
Monica Geller: Stop it Chandler. I'm sorry too.
Chandler Bing: Really?
Monica Geller: Yeah! Oh yes!
Chandler Bing: Ohh.
Monica Geller: Listen, we don't have to make that a guest room, we can think of something to do with the room together.
Chandler Bing: That's a great idea! We can easily think of a way for us both to enjoy the room.
Monica Geller: Totally!
Chandler Bing: We don't have to come up with this now.
Monica Geller: Oh good.
Chandler Bing: Hey, y'know what? Why don't we think about changes we can make in the living room?
Monica Geller: Changes?
Chandler Bing: Yeah, I mean we're gonna have to move around some furniture to make room for my chair.
Monica Geller: You're-you're-you're gonna bring the Barca Lounger over here?
Chandler Bing: Is that a problem?
Monica Geller: Well, it's a set and they should probably stay together.
Chandler Bing: Oh, that's cool. Then I'll just bring them both over.
Monica Geller: See now-now you're taking them away from their home.
Chandler Bing: Okay, I get it. So, I get nothing! Nothing here is mine! Everything here is yours! I'll get up in the morning put on your clothes, and head off to work!
Monica Geller: Yeah-yeah, y'know what? Yeah, that's it-that's it, everything will be mine! Nothing will be yours! That's-that's what I said! Oh come on, Chandler! I'm talking about the barca lounger! It just, it doesn't match! Where is it gonna go?!
Chandler Bing: In the game room!
Monica Geller: Look it is not my fault that your chairs are incredibly ugly!
Chandler Bing: All right! That's fine! That's fine! I won't bring over the chairs! I won't bring anything over! I wouldn't want to ruin the ambiance over here at Grandma's place!!
Joey Tribbiani: Everything on your application looks really good-Ohh! Just one last question umm, are you and your friends gonna be over here all the time like partying and hanging out?
The Potential Roommate: Oh don't worry, I'm not really a party girl.
Joey Tribbiani: Whoa!! Now look, don't be just blurtin' stuff out. I want you to really think about your answers. Okay?
Chandler Bing: You can call off the roommate search! Hi! I'll be living here.
Joey Tribbiani: Oh don't listen to him, he's just some guy who really wants the apartment, but I don't think he's gonna get it.
Chandler Bing: Why did you take the shower curtain down?
Joey Tribbiani: That thing was a hazard! I'm very safety conscious.
Rachel Green: Hey!
Ross Geller: Hey! Oh listen, I was just clearing some space for your stuff.
Rachel Green: Oh thanks, but listen, I was just at Monica's and she and Chandler had a big fight and they're not moving in.
Ross Geller: What do you mean, they're not moving in? They-they're still moving in right?
Rachel Green: No-no, they just had a big blowout over what to do with my room.
Ross Geller: What?! Over a stupid room!
Rachel Green: Yeah, I feel kinda bad for them, but I'm also really psyched 'cause I don't have to move in here!
Ross Geller: Oh no, yeah no, that part's great!
Ross Geller: What's all this about you guys fighting?! Is this really over a room?! I mean, that is so silly!
Monica Geller: Ross, we can handle this.
Ross Geller: Well, apparently not, and I can't just stand by and watch two people I care about very much be hurt over something that is so silly. I mean, enough of the silliness!
Chandler Bing: Well, why don't you tell her to stop being silly!
Ross Geller: Okay-okay! Two very good points, look I've known you both a long time, and I've never seen either of you one/millionth as happy as you've been since you've got together. Do you really want to throw that all away over a room? That is so silly. Now wh-what is more important, love or silliness?
Chandler Bing: Well, we are fond of the silliness, but we also have a soft spot for the love.
Monica Geller: Love is the best medicine.
Chandler Bing: That's laughter.
Monica Geller: Why do you do it?
Chandler Bing: I don't know.
Ross Geller: Okay! All right! Now, Chandler you-you wanna live with Monica, right?
Chandler Bing: Yeah, I do.
Ross Geller: And Mon, you wanna live with Chandler, don't ya?
Monica Geller: Yes.
Ross Geller: Good! A verbal contract is binding in the state of New York!
Gunther: So I understand you're looking for a place.
Rachel Green: No-no, I'm staying put.
Gunther: Oh, I was going to offer you my apartment.
Rachel Green: Why, where are you going?
Gunther: I don't know.
Ross Geller: Hey Rach!
Rachel Green: Hi!
Ross Geller: You're never gonna believe it uh, Monica and Chandler are moving in again. That's great news right-I mean for them. Right?
Rachel Green: Oh wow.
Ross Geller: Yeah but, on the bright side, we get to be roommates again.
Rachel Green: Yeah. Y'know umm, uh, umm, about that, umm, Ross I really appreciate your offer to let me move in and everything, but don't you think it's gonna be weird?
Ross Geller: Wh-why?! Why-why-why would it, why would it be weird?
Rachel Green: Well, because of us! Because of our history.
Ross Geller: No!
Rachel Green: No?
Ross Geller: No! No! It would be weird if we were still in that place, I mean are you still in that place?
Rachel Green: No! Not at all!
Ross Geller: Good! Me neither! So it's not a problem. We're just two friends who happen to be roommates.
Rachel Green: Okay, but Ross, eventually you and I are gonna be dating.
Ross Geller: Really?! We are?
Rachel Green: Yeah! I'm gonna have a boyfriend, you're gonna have a girlfriend...
Ross Geller: Ohh! That would be great.
Rachel Green: But y'know what, if you think it's gonna be okay we'll just work out a system. Y'know, it'll be like college, I'll hang a hanger on the door and put a sign, "Come back later, I'm gettin' lucky."
Ross Geller: Yeah, I didn't think of that.
Ross Geller: So are you sure about this whole moving in thing?! I mean it's a really big step! And-and what's the rush?!
Monica Geller: That's very funny!
Chandler Bing: He's being silly, because he knows that we enjoy the silliness!
Ross Geller: No, I-I-I'm serious, okay? I mean, think about it. You move in, you start fighting over stupid game rooms, next thing y'know you break up!
Monica Geller: Ross, you were right before, it was just a stupid fight about a room.
Ross Geller: Okay, there are no stupid fights!! This isn't about the room, this is about what the room...represents! And unfortunately, this room could destroy you!!
Chandler Bing: Yeah, I'm not so worried.
Monica Geller: Yeah, no, me neither.
Ross Geller: Fine! It's your life! I just don't want to see you guys break up! Which you will do if you move in together, but that's what you want, there's nothing I can do. DON'T DO IT!!!!!
Monica Geller: You still want to move in together right?
Chandler Bing: Of course!
Monica Geller: Ross didn't scare you?
Chandler Bing: Scared me out of ever wanting to live with him.
Monica Geller: Come here, I want to show you something!
Chandler Bing: Okay!
Chandler Bing: Oh my God! Someone's killed Square Man!
Monica Geller: This is where I thought the barca lounger could go! You see you could see the TV and it's still walking distance to the kitchen.
Chandler Bing: Oh that's so sweet! I want to show you something too!
Monica Geller: Okay!
Chandler Bing: Y'know those big-big uh, road signs that say "Merge?"
Monica Geller: Uh-hmm.
Chandler Bing: Y'know? So I was thinking that we could get one of those signs and hang it over our bed. Because, that's you and I together! Merge!
Monica Geller: Oh my God! I love that!
Chandler Bing: Really?!
Monica Geller: Uh, no!!
Phoebe Buffay: I found you in my bed! How'd you whined up there? You are a mystery! Little black curly hair! Little black curly hair! Little black, little black, little black, little black, little black curly hair...
Phoebe Buffay: Now if you want to receive e-mails about my upcoming shows, then please give me money so I can buy a computer.
Ross Geller: So umm, where are the other guys?
Rachel Green: Umm, well let's see Monica and Chandler are occupied.
Ross Geller: Fighting?!
Rachel Green: No, the other thing. I really think it's great they work things out.
Ross Geller: Yeah. There's no breaking them up, is there?
Rachel Green: Hey, can I borrow the key to your house so I can run across the street and make a copy?
Ross Geller: Sure! Here.
Rachel Green: Thank you. Now are you sure? Because once I make a copy, there's no turning back.
Ross Geller: Yeah, I'm-I'm sure. Yeah, get out of here before I change my mind.
Joey Tribbiani: Umm, listen, Ross do you really think this moving in with Rachel is a good idea?
Ross Geller: I've been back and forth.
Joey Tribbiani: Yeah well, maybe you should go back! Okay? Rachel moves in, and before you know it you're right where you don't want to be! Back together!
Ross Geller: Ehh, I don't, I don't think so. She's already talked about y'know, dating other guys.
Joey Tribbiani: That's not gonna work out! Then she's gonna come home all weepy and you'll be tellin' her, "Oh that's okay. You'll find someone." And then, bamn! She finds you!
Ross Geller: Yeah, well, m-maybe you're right.
Joey Tribbiani: I am telling you Ross, she is definitely gonna fall in love with you again! Now, is that what you want?
Ross Geller: Is that what I want?
Phoebe Buffay: Yes.
Joey Tribbiani: Here she comes. Hold on, I'm gonna make your life much easier.
Rachel Green: All right, well the place was closed. I'll just copy it later.
Joey Tribbiani: Or not. Uh, Rach, why don't you just move in with me?
Ross Geller: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa, Joey!
Joey Tribbiani: No-no-no-no-no-no-no-no... It's okay, I mean I-look Rach, I know I scared you off with that whole Naked Thursday's thing, but we don't have to do that!
Rachel Green: Well, it would be easier to move just right across the hall. Wait a minute, unless you're thinking about Naked Wednesday's.
Joey Tribbiani: Thursday's clearly not good for ya, pick a day!
Joey Tribbiani: Hi!
The Potential Roommate: Hi!
Joey Tribbiani: Come in. Thanks for comin' back, umm, okay there have been a lot of people interested in the room, but I have narrowed it down and you are one of the finalists!
The Potential Roommate: Great!
Joey Tribbiani: Okay now, before I make my final decision I uh, I just want to make sure our personalities match. Okay, so I made up a little test. Now, I'm gonna say a word and then you say the first thing that comes to mind.
The Potential Roommate: I can do that.
Joey Tribbiani: Okay! Here we go. Pillow.
The Potential Roommate: Fight.
Joey Tribbiani: Very good! Okay. G.
The Potential Roommate: String?
Joey Tribbiani: Excellent! Okay umm, doggy.
The Potential Roommate: Kitten?
Joey Tribbiani: Ooh, sorry! No-no-no, so close though, but-bye-bye!