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No, the phrasing is wrong. ""Lying"" is the present participle of ""to lie"" - it's one of the painful ones consistently gotten wrong in English ) If she was currently continuing to lie to a jury then it can be used. But the lie being described is in the past. Hence ""She has lied"", not ""She was lying"". I don't see these as nitpicks either; many of the proposed phrase shortenings are due to you replaced past with present tense. On top of that I think we should aim for high quality writing! Now, I agree that some of the content (for example ""a nearby room following her encounter with Strauss-Kahn and had then returned to Strauss-Kahn's room and cleaned that as well"") could be better phrased to be clearer and shorter. But your mostly just removing material to no value leaving a lot of vagueness and some innacuracy.  Errant (chat!) 
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