It is not at all hard to read and the lede is elegant and excellent. It may not suit your taste, though. And BMK's lies are a personal attack; I will defend myself. As for collegiality, if BMK's behavior is an example of what you regard as collegiality, then you don't understand what that word means. If you or he has a problem with the article, I strongly suggest you offer your ideas  one at a time  for discussion in order to reach a consensus, before making changes. That's my idea of collegiality.