# Motivation and emotion/Book/2015/Illegitimate children and emotion

* Multimedia presentation (3 min)

## Overview

The famous Jon Snow character off the Game of Thrones series came into this world as an illegitimate child and as a result was instantly cast as an outsider from that moment on. As the story progresses, we learn that Jon has always felt alienated and was forced to grow up quicker in comparison to his other siblings. Jon was often blamed as being the main source of strain on his father, Ned Stark and his wife Catelyn's marriage, as Jon served as a constant reminder of his father's infidelity and this is why Catelyn could never truly love Jon and treat him like one of her own children. Even his biological mother had no place for Jon, as he had not a clue what she looked like, nor what were the circumstances surrounding why Stark left her, but he guessed his father was too ashamed to acknowledge what he had done.
Thus, with a passionate desire to prove his self-worth and honour, Jon eventually chose to become a member of the Night's Watch, where the circumstances of his birth would be of little importance. Furthermore, as Jon grows older it becomes apparent to his friends that he has abstained from having sexual intercourse, reluctantly admitting that this is due to the fear of making a women fall pregnant and in turn creating another bastard child like himself. Jon also shows compassion for those who are in a similar situation of constantly being rejected, particularly his tomboyish half sister who also understands what it's like to be overshadowed.
   “You're Ned Stark's bastard, aren't you?“ Lannister said, "Let me give you some counsel, bastard, never forget what you are, for surely the world will not. Make it your strength. Then it can never be your weakness. Armor yourself in it, and it will never be used to hurt you." (George R.R. Martin).
This book chapter aims at defining what illegitimacy is, inform readers the various emotional impacts that an illegitimate child may face throughout their upbringing and into adulthood, and analyse this phenomenon through two central theories, the Social Exchange Theory and the Social Identity Theory. Furthermore, it will be highlighted how the perception of illegitimacy has changed over the years and as a result statistics indicate that more and more women are having children out of wedlock. Ultimately this book chapter aims at providing a better understanding of the various societal expectations and norms surrounding this issue and the need for the removal of stigma to be replaced by acceptance of illegitimacy. |}

## Emotion

Emotions can be defined as short-lived, feeling-purpose expressive reactions, that coordinate bodily responses and act as a pathway to express important life events through a distinct pattern of neural activity (Reeve, 2015). Thus, in line with this topic, emotion serves as a vital resource to facilitate social and interpersonal functions, such as communicating one's feelings to others, influencing how one interacts with others, creating, maintaining and dissolving relationships, and facilitating social interaction (Reeve, 2015).

## Illegitimate children

Illegitimacy can be defined as the status of a child who is born to unmarried parents (Dictionary of Law, 2015). However an illegitimate child can also incorporate someone who was born as a result of an affair or being underage, which is generally considered to be under 16 years old. Other terms that are often used to describe an illegitimate child are love child, bastard, or non-marital child (The Sustainable Demographic Dividend, 2011).

## Historical and cultural contexts

History has demonstrated that illegitimate children have continually been confronted with psychological hardships, and this has occurred under the premise of 'deterring extramarital sexual relations and preventing disruption of the family unit (Haney, 2001; Maldonado, 2013). As Wendel and Rev (2005) point out, illegitimate children used to be legally considered as 'terra nullius', that is children of no one. Therefore an illegitimate child born in the U.S could not legally inherit anything from their biological mother and/or father, or even their adoptive parents. However in 1977 many states attempted to ameliorate these unconstitutional laws in the famous trial of Trimble vs. Gordon, yet they were unsuccessful due to the Supreme Court overruling the case on the basis of upholding traditional family values (Le Ray, 1994). The Court however did make an impressionable statement in regards to the issue:
   "The status of illegitimacy has expressed through the ages society's condemnation of irresponsible liaisons beyond the bonds of marriage. But visiting this condemnation on the head of an infant is illogical and unjust. Moreover, imposing disabilities on the illegitimate child is contrary to the basic concept of our system that legal burdens should bear some relationship to individual responsibility or wrongdoing. Obviously, no child is responsible for his birth and penalizing the illegitimate child is an ineffectual-as well as an unjust-way of deterring the parent" (Wendel & Ray, 2005).
his highlights how every illegitimate child that has been born over the centuries has instantly been considered as being apart of the lower social status bracket and in turn could not receive any properties, deeds, titles etc. Moreover, Britain also severely impacted illegitmate children's entitlement to claim citizenship, as only within the past couple of years has it been possible for anyone under the illegitimate status to be able to claim British citizenship by descent. Therefore anyone who had a British mother or father were not legally considered liable to claim citizenship (De Cruz, 2010).
Yet 'illegitimacy' is arguably a universal phenomenon, as most countries across the world have high rates of adultery or out-of-wedlock engagements which result in illegitimate births (The Sustainable Demographic Dividend, 2015). Thus it's the prevailing societal norms and expectations which encourage the reinforcement of stigma surrounding this issue to continue. Furthermore, before the 1960's, unmarried mothers were usually considered unsuitable and unworthy of various public benefits such as mother's pensions (Kenny, Higgins, Soloff, & Sweid, 2012).

### Rates of illegitimate births across the world

Statistics demonstrate that each continent, and the states and country's within that continent have varying levels of illegitimate births over the years. The lowest level of illegitimate birth rates come from the Asian and Pacific Island areas at 17.2%, as most children in that area are more likely to have married parents (The Sustainable Demographic Dividend, 2015). In contrast the U.S has one of the largest rates at over 40.6% of total births annually (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 2012). However the highest rate of illegitimate births fell upon non-Hispanic Blacks at 69.4%, with Latin America coming in second at 74%, and South Africa at 59% (The Sustainable Demographic Dividend, 2015).
Table 1.
Percentage of children who were born in various circumstances (Australian Bureau of Statistics, 2013)
| Circumstance | Total |
| Born within marriage (nuptial) | 202 046 |
| Born out-of-wedlock (ex-nuptial) | 106 019 |
| Born through underage sex | 11 420 |
* Watch a quick video demonstrating how society viewed unmarried mothers and their illegitimate children during the '70's.
It is possible however that some countries are able to welcome illegitimate children into their societies without judgement. For example, countries like Austria have a relatively high rate of illegitimate births, yet there is no associated stigma, and in turn the children can be legitimised by subsequent marriage (Pinchbeck, 1954).

### Religion

It is has long been a tradition of most Western cultures that a good catholic or any religious upbringing involves abstinence before marriage. However over the years it's becoming more and more common to find there's a more 'tolerable attitude towards people having non-marital heterosexual intercourse' as well as the increase of families that do not conform to the stereotypical married, two-parent ideal (Reekie, 1998). However most Churches would condemn this act as one of the most sinful, and in turn would not acknowledge the person as a child of God (Church, 2009). This further reinstates illegitimate individuals into feeling like they do not belong, and can further relate to many other behavioural and psychological impacts which are discussed further on.

## What increases the likelihood of an illegitimate birth?

Research has indicated that there are a number of factors that have an impact on increasing the rate of illegitimate births. Firstly, the level of income by the either the mother and/or father plays a significant role, as statistics indicate that 67% of families that live below the state's median income level are more likely to have an out-of-wedlock birth (ABS, 2002).
The level of education of the biological mother and/or father also plays an influential role, as 57% of women who gave birth to a child before marriage did not have a high school certificate, and only 8.8% of the total illegitimate births were to women who had a college degree (ABS, 2002).
Age is also considered an important factor for this phenomenon, as 86% of mothers aged between 15-19 were not married, and the next age bracket between 25 to 29 years also had a significant portion of mothers who were not married at 31.9%. However the fastest growth rate of age demographics for illegitimate birth rates falls in the 30-35 age bracket (ABS, 2012).
Finally the rise in cohabiting parents over the last couple of decades has been one of the main reasons as to why there's been an increase in ex-nuptial births. For most of the twentieth century, illegitimate births were only around the 4-6% mark, rising to 8% during the 1960's (Commonwealth Bureau of Census and Statistics, 1973). However in just over 35 years between 1970-2005, the proportion of ex-nuptial births rose dramatically to 32% (Lancaster, Huang, & Pedisich, 1994; Laws, Abeywardana, Walker, & Sullivan, 2007; Nassar & Sullivan, 2001).
This indicates that more and more women are having children out of wedlock, especially during their 30's, and the various effects such as stigmatization and the disapproving attitudes of society are becoming less prevalent.

## Behavioural and psychological effects

It is natural for people to have psychological needs such as having warm, caring interpersonal relationships with others, or successfully completing individual goals and aspirations. All these examples assist in reinforcing positive emotional regulation in areas such as biological reactions, coping mechanisms, and social functions. However research has demonstrated that illegitimate children often struggle in these kinds of areas as a child and in their adult life.
   “Being illegitimate is a technicality. It does not mean that there is anything wrong with you. Men use "bastard" as a curse. But to use the term thus is to show that they themselves are less than a proper human being.” (Theresa Breslin, The Medici Seal)
* A sense of belonging
* Most illegitimate children reportedly crave fitting in above all other psychological needs. But research indicates that the majority of the time these children are left to feel like an outsider, especially in the earlier decades where children were often shunned by their families and their community as it was considered socially and religiously immoral to be an illegitimate child (Qian, Lichter, Mellott, 2005).
* Stigma
* Another common form of psychological effect involves the stigmitisation of the illegitimate child, as the individual can be marked by family and society alike as a symbol of disgrace typically associated with a particular circumstance, quality, or person (Qian, Lichter, Mellott, 2005). This can further increase the individual into feeling like an outsider, and has a number of ramifications for others who are in the same situation, such as reinstating this behaviour as being acceptable.
* Damage of self-concept
* The hostility received from parents and other family members can also severely damage one's self concept, that is the 'who am I' component of yourself. Thus, illegitimate children often question whether their lives are worth living, what role they play being alive etc, with some research indicating a small association between illegitimacy and increased rates of suicidal thinking and/or self-harming behaviours such as excessive alcohol consumption (Bethmann & Kvasnicka, 2013).
* Difficulty in starting/maintaining relationships
* Illegitimate children have also reported difficulty in starting and maintaining relationships with others, whether it be romantically involved or as a friend, and this can occur during both childhood years and adulthood due to reported low feelings of trustworthiness, mutual respect and pessimistic views of the future (Bennett, Bloom, 1992).
* Not wanting to have children of their own
* The individual may also not want to 'let history repeat itself' per se, that is falling into the same pattern as one's own mother or father through creating an illegitimate child. Whether it be out of wedlock or through an affair, the individual will not want to risk the chance of making that child go through the same trauma and various emotional difficulties as they did. As a result research indicates that a significant proportion of illegitimate children abstain from sexual intercourse (Qian, Litchter, Mellott, 2005).
* Feeling compassion for others in similar situations
* It is also quite common for individuals who identify as an outcast due to their illegitimate status, are sympathetic and compassionate to those who are in a similar situation as their's. Studies such as (Parnell, 2004) indicate that the majority of children who experienced various forms of negative attitudes and behaviour due to their illegitimate title, such as bullying, condescending remarks etc., tended to reach out to other class mates or people in society who were experiencing the same thing.
* Delinquency
* Studies have also demonstrated that illegitimate children are more prone to behavior problems, such as a study conducted by The Unmarried Parenthood Committee of the Welfare Council of Toronto (1943) which found that out of 92 illegitimate teenage boys aged between 14 and 15 who were brought up by their 'unnatural' mothers, over a quarter of the group had engaged in some form of delinquent behaviour. Similar findings support these results in a study conducted by the National Institute of Child Health and Development summary (1992), in which they found children who were born out of marriage were more likely to engage in criminal activity.
Other research indicates that there is a small relationship between illegitimacy and factors such as lower educational achievement, lower job attainment, lower impulse control and signs of impaired cognitive development (Peterson, Benstein & Yatrow, 1979; Walsh, 1990; Card, 1977), however more research needs to be conducted within this field.

## Theories

Social exchange theory
The Social Exchange Theory is one useful framework that can be used to better understand the phenomenon of illegitimacy and the effects this has on the individuals emotions. The theory proposes that people thrive for exchange with other humans in order to maximize benefits and reduce costs. Thus, if an individual weighs the potential benefits and risks of a social relationship and perceives it as unsuitable, the individual will terminate the relationship or avoid approaching that person all together (McDonnell, 2006). Certain risks that would see an individual abandon a social relationship can be things such as money, time and effort. Other factors that are an important factor of this theory is interdependence and self-interest (Lawler & Thye, 1999), as these are one of the basic foundations of social and interpersonal relationships. But most importantly in lieu with the theme of this topic, an illegitimate child will not be approached by others to start or maintain a relationship as the exchange will be deemed as a negative relationship due to the costs outweighing the benefits.
Therefore, if this theory was used to analyse the Jon Snow case study, it is clear that Jon encounters many people who know of his illegitimate status and thus deem becoming friends with Jon, or even speaking to him, would have minimal benefits for that person and in turn will not pursue any kind of relationship with him.
The Social Identity Theory was first coined by Tajfel and Turner in 1979, in an effort to better understand the psychological basis of inter-group discriminationn- that is what are the underlying conditions which lead to group members favouring their in group members as opposed to out group members. Therefore individuals are motivated to maximise positive distinctiveness of the in-group relative to the out-group. Thus Tajfel and Turner (1979) argued that there are three cognitive processes which relate to an individuals sense of being within the 'in' or 'out' group.
* Social Categorization
This involves the process of deciding which group, either the in-group or the out-group, that the individual or other people belong to and this is achieved through categorisation. This process also helps provide the individual in answering the question of 'who am I' to establish their self concept (see Figure 6).
* Social Identification
This involves a more overt process whereby the individual finds a suitable compatibility within the chosen in-group through norms and attitudes of other members, and decides if it's worthy of emulation. This is an important process in identifying how the individual looks at themselves, as well as further constraining the in-group versus out-group bias.
* Social Comparison
Finally social comparison involves the individual's own self-concept, or the social concept of another person becomes closely meshed with the perceptions of group memberships. Self-esteem also ties in closely with this concept, as the ability to perform to the groups expectations within society is either enhanced or detracted. However this final concept can also further enhance the between-group bias prevalent, as individuals in both the in-group and out-group are motivated to compare one another as more favorable.
All of these factors ultimately determine which group the individual identifies itself with and in turn the various ramifications of being associated with that group. To give an example of this, Jon Snow clearly wants to be considered as part of the in-group of the Stark family without any labels attached to his name. However he learns that no matter how hard he tries to fit in, he will always be an outsider. However when he joins the Night's Watch, it becomes quickly apparent the Jon's fighting skills are extremely efficient, and he finds a place to fit in by training new members of the Night's Watch with his knowledge and skill, and in turn becomes admired by a lot of people.

## Siblings of illegitimate children

Research also indicates that the siblings of illegitimate children, whether they are full-blooded or half, can also be profoundly impacted emotionally by this phenomenon. Some case studies demonstrate feelings of jealousy or distaste towards their half-sibling, often resulting in hostility and disengagement of pursuing any king of relationship with them (Qian, Litchter, Mellott, 2005). Other case studies indicate a degree of acceptance and in turn fully embrace the illegitimate child as part of the family (Chan & Fung, 2015). However the feedback indicates that on average the majority of the half-siblings saw their illegitimate brother or sister on a spectrum in which one day they may feel envy and resentment and the next they see that they are ultimately a good person despite their illegitimate status (Chan & Fung, 2015; Qian, Litchter, Mellott, 2005).
Nevertheless even if an illegitimate child was born into a rich or poor family, the label still carried a significant amount of stigma surrounding it, and often families in the earlier centuries would rather pretend this person did not exist to ensure their image was not tainted, rather than letting them grow up with their other full-blooded relatives (Haney, 2001).
* Example
* Bringing Jon Snow back into the equation, Jon always got along well with his half-siblings, as he was raised with equal-footing by his father. In particular his youngest half-sister Arya holds a special place in his heart, giving her a special gift before he leaves to join the night's watch. However after arriving Jon hears news of his brother Robb's intentions of heading to war in order to avenge their fathers death, and Jon instantly wishes to leave and fight alongside his brother to remain faithful to his family's name. Thus despite all of Jon's siblings knowing that he did not share the same mother as them, they still accepted them as part of the family.
Therefore it is possible and quite common that despite children who are born out of wedlock or through other circumstances being branded as illegitimate, the siblings and other family members surrounding them will still accept them fully without judgement. However it is also common for siblings to turn their backs on illegitimate family members, as they consider the individual to not be apart of the family.

## How to combat the emotional impacts of illegitimacy

Stigma management is one way of combating the issue of illegitimacy through either passing or revealing. Passing involves purposely concealing one's stigma in order to be able to join the dominant in-group, as well as fabricating false evidence to further hide oneself, and being discrete with who they reveal personal information to (Leary, 1999). Thus illegitimate children would aim at hiding their status as much as possible from anyone they come in contact with. Revealing on the other hand involves informing family, friends, coworkers etc. of your associated stigma in an effort to minimize its significance, eliminate unfair judgement and in turn change the way people view this phenomenon as normal (Beatty & Maclean, 2005).
Emotional regulation can also be used as a strategic way of overcoming the severe emotional impacts that the individual may be experiencing due to the illegitimate stigma associated to themselves. As interpersonal relationships serve as one of the main sources of stable emotional well-being, it is crucial for the individual to take control of the negative impacts they may be feeling. Thus, emotional regulation refers to how people can influence which various types of emotions they experience, when they have them, and how they express and experience these emotions (Gross, 2008).

## Fun facts

There are quite a number of well-known figures from around the world that were born with an 'illegitimate' status, however this has not stopped them from achieving great things in their life - whether they be admirable or distasteful.
* Oprah Winfrey
* Leonardo Da Vinci
* Marilyn Monroe
* Fidel Castro
* Alexander Hamilton
* Figure 9. Jack NicholsonJack Nicholson
* Eric Clapton
* Tobey Maguire
* Rod McKuen
* Bo Jackson
* David Bowie

## Conclusion

Overall it is clear that the type of environment in which a child is brought up in is crucial in their development of how they see themselves in the world now and in the future. Therefore ensuring the child knows that they are in no way ‘illegitimate’, merely the relationship in which they were made is deemed illegitimate by society, allows a strong sense of self esteem and contentment to ensue. Thus the parents need to make it clear to the child that they are not responsible for the circumstances of the conception. It is clear that there are a number of emotional impacts that an illegitimate child could be faced with, in particular the feeling of being an outcast, as well as inability to maintain relationships. Furthermore, as ex-marital birth rates are rapidly increasing, more awareness surrounding this issue and in turn embracing these children as normal human beings is occurring.