# PCP HIV AIDS Toolkit/Sex Education Questions

PCP HIV AIDS Toolkit → Sex Education Questions
This page is part of the PCP HIV AIDS Toolkit. :

### What does it feel like when you climax (orgasm)?

An orgasm is defined as the release of sexual tension built up during sexual stimulation such as masturbation or sexual intercourse. It is a feeling of intense pleasure.
Males tended to describe orgasm as a tremendous buildup of pleasurable tension that focuses on the penis and ends in ejaculation. Females tended to describe orgasm as a buildup of pleasurable tension that begins in the genitals and radiates throughout the body in a series of waves. Both genders reported feeling relaxed, tired, and satisfied after climax. Males tended to liken the pleasurable feeling of orgasm to that of a sneeze, or of finally releasing urine from a full bladder. One female also likened the pleasure of orgasm to that of a sneeze.

### How do women/men feel when they are aroused?

In both girls and guys, the heart begins to beat faster and blood pressure rises. The muscles in the body grow tense, and the nipples may get hard. People with light complexions may have what's called a "sex flush," they redden around the chest and neck. In girls, breasts enlarge, the vagina lubricates, and the clitoris begins to swell. The clitoris and the penis are very similar. They're both made of spongy erectile tissue and are full of sensitive nerve endings. The clitoris extends into the body for several inches and the penis extends out from the body for several inches. So, women much like men, get erections too. But they're not so noticeable from the outside.

### Can men/women be addicted to sex? Why?

YES! Sex Addiction can involve a wide variety of practices. Sometimes an addict has trouble with just one unwanted behavior, sometimes with many. A large number of sex addicts say their unhealthy use of sex has been a progressive process. It may have started with an addiction to masturbation, pornography (either printed or electronic), or a relationship, but over the years progressed to increasingly dangerous behaviors.
The essence of all addiction is the addicts' powerlessness over a compulsive experience where they feel tremendous shame, pain and self-loathing. The addict may wish to stop---yet repeatedly fails to do so. The unmanageability of addicts' lives can be seen in the consequences they suffer: losing relationships, difficulties with work, arrests, financial troubles, a loss of interest in things not sexual, low self-esteem and despair.
Sexual preoccupation takes up tremendous amounts of energy. As this increases for the sex addict, a pattern of behavior (or rituals) follows, which usually leads to acting out (for some it is flirting, searching the net for pornography, or driving to the park.) When the acting out happens, there is a denial of feelings usually followed by despair and shame or a feeling of hopelessness and confusion.

### Why do people sleep with multiple partners?

For some people sexual feelings are bound up with love and close relationships. Some people think sex should only happen within marriage. For some people sex and love are two different things. So having sex with multiple partners is an individual choice. Some people have sex with more than one person because they enjoy the different experience they get. Others fall in love with their current partner and make the decision to have sex, and may later break up and find a another new partner they feel ok having sex with. You have to look into your own beliefs and values to make this decision.

### How do you have sex?

Having sex intercourse is actually quite simple. When a man's penis becomes hard, he places it inside a woman's vagina, and moves it in and out. This creates friction which is pleasurable for both the man and the woman. After a while, this friction will usually cause the man to have an orgasm and ejaculate. It may also cause the woman to have an orgasm, although it can take a bit of experimentation and practice to get it right! You can have sex in lots of different positions, but one of the most common and intimate ways is for the man to lie on top of the woman, so that they can kiss and cuddle while having sex.

### Why do you get STDs from some people and not others?

STDs are infections passed from person to person through sexual intercourse or genital contact. Only monogamy (sleeping with one person only) between uninfected partners or sexual abstinence completely eliminates the risk of getting an STD. Some people may have an STD and not even know it passing it on each time they sleep with someone unprotected. Others may be safe for now, but having unprotected sex increases your chance of getting STDs.

### Is it normal to have sex as a young adult, even if I'm not married?

For some people sexual feelings are bound up with love and close relationships. Some people think sex should only happen within marriage. For some people sex and love are two different things. You have to look into your own beliefs and values to make this decision.
What is important is that you feel good about yourself and what you are doing, and that you keep yourself safe. Being safe means not only thinking about physical risks such as pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). But also emotional risk such as the regret you may feel afterwards.
There is no absolute right age to start having sex. What matters is whether it is the right time for you. It also depends on what you mean by 'having sex.' There are many ways in which you can give and receive sexual pleasure without having sexual intercourse.
Giving each other massages, kissing and hugging can be very passionate. It's a way of sharing and showing love. For some people these activities can be more fulfilling than sexual intercourse.
Thinking through all the implications of having sex can be a useful way of helping you arrive at a decision. There are lots of reasons why people don't want to have sex. You may feel that you are not ready emotionally. Being pushed into having sex could mean you regret it later on. Some people have quite strong religious or cultural beliefs. Others just want to wait.

### What is the difference between sex and gender?

Sex is biological. You are born with your sex, either male or female. It can not be changed unless you have surgery.
Gender is socially constructed roles, responsibilities, constraints, and privileges that are assigned to women and men in a given culture or location. You are not born with your gender identification. Gender is learned and can change over time.

### What is the right term for sex?

Sex has a variety of names, but sexual intercourse is the most clinical.
Sexual intercourse is when a boy's hard penis goes inside a girl's vagina. This is often called having sex or making love. For many people this can be the most important sexual thing they can do with someone. It can be very enjoyable and fulfilling. For some people it can be the way they can most show their love for each other.

### How do I know if I had sex with an infected partner?

The only way to know if someone is infected is to ask them. If they are unsure then it‚then it is best if you both get tested. Or if you ever doubt your partner's answer it's better to get tested in case. Some signs may be visible, but you may go for a long length of time without any symptoms.

### Why is sex on the internet?

The most common things you might find on the internet when looking for sexual health info is pornography ('porn' for short). As you probably already know, 'porn' is sexual pictures, writing, photos or films. It can be annoying, especially if you're looking for something else. Some people find looking at these things is sexually exciting, but there're some important things you need to know about porn.
* There's loads of porn on the internet and it can be very hard to avoid. But if you don't like it, you don't have to look at it.
* Pornography isn't always just pictures or films. It can also include cartoons or writing. Under this definition, it could also include chatroom talk, if it gets too strong.
* There are lots of different types of pornography on the internet, and it ranges from quite mild stuff to things that are illegal.
* In some parts of the world, there are age limits on looking at porn, so make sure you're over the legal age. The laws about what is illegal are different in different countries ‚Äì don't assume that it's legal just because you can look at it. Pornography involving children or animals is illegal in most countries. In many countries, if you are under the age of consent, it may be illegal for you to view all pornography, whatever type, pictures, films or written.
* In many parts of the world, some types of pornography are illegal, and you can get in trouble if it's found on your computer. People who have been found to have large quantities of illegal pornography on their computers have been sent to prison.
* Lots of people find it offensive ‚Äì so don't show it to other people or leave it where other people can find it.
* Some people like to use pornography for masturbation. Masturbation isn't wrong at all, but pornography can be, there are certain laws against it depending where you live.
* Remember, porn only shows sexual images, and there's much more to sex than this. Sex is also about feelings and relationships, and pornography doesn't show that. It also doesn't show important parts of sex, like how to protect against pregnancy or STDs.
* Pornography sites can be really difficult to get away from. They can add themselves to your favorites, for example, or to your desktop. Sometimes they can get your modem to dial international numbers which cost you a fortune.
* If someone's showing or sending you porn, and you don't feel comfortable, ask them to stop. If they don't, then you should think about asking a teacher or parent for advice. This can be a type of abuse.
* Using these sites can cause you a lot of problems, and cost you a lot of money.

### Is sex good for your health and that of your partner?

Yes, it may help in easing depression and stress, relieving pain, healing wounds, fighting aging, lower blood pressure, lowers mortality rates, reduce risk of prostate cancer, improves posture, boosts self esteem, makes a person feel younger, firms tummy and buttocks, keeps spouses connected emotionally, gives people a positive attitude on life, reduce risk of heart disease, makes a person more calm, improves fitness level, makes a person less irritable, improved sense of smell.

### Why are sexual partners not honest with each other about past sexual experiences?

Some people are afraid to be honest with you because of how you may respond. If they have had previous sexual partners they may be afraid you will reject them if they tell you the truth. They may also feel pressure to be a virgin so they will lie to you to make you "happy." They could also be ashamed of their past sexual experiences therefore they lie about it. Again, this is why communication is so important, along with being prepared in protecting yourself.

### Is their an age requirement for girls on getting pregnant?

There is no age requirement on a girl getting pregnant. If she has gotten her period she may become pregnant regardless of her age.

### What are the chances of becoming pregnant from a single act of sex?

The likelihood of becoming pregnant from a single act of unprotected sex (for example, from a one night stand) varies from person to person, and also depends on the stage of a woman's menstrual cycle. The probability is highest around the time of ovulation (when the egg is released), when, on average, up to one third of women will become pregnant from having sex once.

### What is the first step you should take before having sex with your partner?

Spend some time alone thinking about your values, and ask yourself, "Does my sexual behavior reflect my values?" Whenever you are with peers or friends who try to influence you to make a sexual decision which goes against your values or what you feel comfortable with, stay true to yourself and do not go against your own values---trust yourself!
Remember the potential consequences of your sexual decisions! It is too late to think about pregnancy, STDs and HIV/AIDS after you have put yourself and another person at risk for these things.
Communicate with your partner and make sure you are both ready. If the answer is yes, be prepared; know how to protect yourself against STDs, HIV/AIDS, and pregnancy.

### Why do people sometimes enjoy sex and other times they don't?

Sex is like any other choice you make in life. You have to be in the "mood" for it. For example, if you are not hungry, you do not eat. And if people try to force you to eat, you may get upset.
There could be many reasons why one day someone wants to have sex, and other days they don't. Some of the reasons for not having sex could be: had a bad day, tired from work, not feeling sexual, upset about something (this could be a lot things, none related to you, and still your partner doesn't want to have sex, which is why COMMUNICATION is so important!)

### What happens when your partner wants to have sexual intercourse all night long, but you are not in the mood and they in return get angry with you‚ what do you do?

It's very important to communicate with your partner about how you are feeling so they understand the reasons you make the choices you do. If you are tired and choose not to have sex, explain that to them before you get in bed at night so they know ahead of time. If after you have communicated how you felt, they are still angry, you may want to discuss why they are so angry, it may be something hidden. Perhaps they are afraid you don‚Äôt want to have sex with them because of something they did or said.

### Does sex make a relationship "happy?"

While sex can contribute to happiness of a relationship, it is NOT the determining factor. Many characteristics make up a "happy" relationship, the top three are interpersonal communication (general communication, verbal and nonverbal), sexual communication (not necessarily sexual intercourse: as there are many ways of being intimate), and communication affect (positive and negative interactions of the couple).

### Why do young people have sex?

* To stop pressure from friends/partners To communicate loving feelings in a relationship
* To avoid loneliness To get affection/to feel loved To receive and get pleasure
* They believe everyone else is doing it To show independence from parents and other adults
* Do not know how to say "no." Feel sex is all they have to offer To prove one is an adult
* To become a parent To satisfy curiosity Nothing better to do
* Media messages make it seem glamorous Have not consciously decided not to have sex
* To hold onto a partner (afraid of losing them if they don't)

### If a man uses the withdrawal method, can women still get pregnant?

Unfortunately even if a man doesn't insert his penis all the way, or withdraws his penis before ejaculation, a woman can still become pregnant. This is because 'pre-cum' (the lubricating fluid that leaks out of a man's penis before and during sex) can contain sperm. If this fluid gets in or around a woman's vagina, it can find its way inside, and she can become pregnant.

### What is the chance that a women becomes pregnant her first time having sex?

The likelihood of becoming pregnant from a single act of unprotected sex (for example, from a one night stand) varies from person to person, and also depends on the stage of a woman's menstrual cycle. The probability is highest around the time of ovulation (when the egg is released), when, on average, up to one third of women will become pregnant from having sex once.