# Developmental psychology/Chapter 13/Intimacy: Connecting With Others

Humans are meant to be attached to other people, this may include romantic partners and friends.

## Romantic Partners

* Marriage - The age of marriage and non-married people is showcasing an upward trend. Marriage is an attractive option as 40% of US marriages contain a party who was in a previous marriage (though these marriages are most likely to dissolve). Children are most likely to develop properly under marriages. Marriages are also good for both parties as they increase wealth and happiness.
* Cohabitations - Non-marital relationships exist, where two non-married partners agree to co-exist in one house together. This usually poses negative side effects and exhibits toxic behaviours. In comparison, marriages are more suitable than cohabitations.
** According to the textbook, the evidence points out that cohabitations are less stable than marriages. This is because since there is no formal commitment between both parties, tensions increase. This increases the chances of breakup and if there is a child present, child neglect/abuse. 3 similarities between cohabitations and marriages are there are two people agreeing to be in a committed relationship, both groups of people may live in a house (marriages may be tucked into one household, but could be broken apart) and both are acceptable in today's standards. 3 differences between cohabitations and marriages are that the more education a couple has, the more likely marriage will become the final product, cohabitations are more in-lined with child abuses and domestic toxicity in comparison with marriages and marriages are less financially appealing in comparison with cohabitations.
* Live Apart Together (LAT) - Romantic partners that do not live in the same household, which is becoming more common in the US. Finance is a difficult task in this situation.
Nonetheless, children play a vital role in whatever couples decide. Cohabitors are more likely to turn to marriage if they have children. Marriage may motivate couples to marry or to not (secure children's future vs. getting children away from abusers).
Steinberg mentioned that love has these components: passion, intimacy and commitment. Consummate love is attained if all components are met. Health and happiness are what drive relationships. Although the honeymoon phase is real, just so are arguments and conflicts. The first years of marriage actually hold the highest chance of divorce. The empty nest is what, overall, increases the positives of marriage (when the children move on from the household and live their own lives).
On the topic of couples, homosexual couples are a reality - but almost no different from heterosexual couples.
For divorces, they were at a high rate in the 1980s because of the young marriage age - but now that adults postpone their marriages, divorces have decreased. Divorces not only affect children but the immediate family as well. Remarriages may fix problems of wealth and a figure of love for the children. Divorces are difficult but maybe a viable option if the spouse is abusive to both parties.

## Friends

Social convoy - The friends and family members of an individual who grow up with them over time. They provide comfort and entertainment. Loyalty is a builder of friendships while taking advantage of one party ends friendships. If an adult does not have close/helpful friends, their health suffers. Friends, although decrease with age, become stronger as time flies by. Friends are chosen on characteristics and are broken on characteristics as well.

## Family

Family last a lot longer than friends. The SES of the parents usually determines the SES of the children. Family can also provide methods of change, such as an only child birthing 2 children later on so that one child is comforted by a sibling.

### Generativity

Although this may impact one's "individuality", an adult son living with their parents showcases a strong bond between them and is a growing phenomenon.

### Fictive Kin

Fictive Kin, people with no genetic/legal connections between them, usually grow out to be like family. They may replace toxic siblings/blood relatives and can serve as comforters for those that are immigrants, rejected by family or reject their family.