# The Semi-attached Couple/Chapter 30

CHAPTER XXX
When the party were assembled for dinner, Lord Teviot's appointment and consequent departure for Lisbon seemed to be generally known; indeed, so generally, that even Fisherwick ventured to make some dark allusions to it. Mr. G. asked Lady Teviot to thank him for sending her lord on such an interesting little expedition, and by not finding out her headache, nor appearing to think she could be out of spirits, did more for her recovery than Lady Portmore with all her condolences. She was in her greatest glory, and unusually overpowering. She had been fully occupied during dinner by admiration of her own propriety in not allowing Teviot a place in her carriage for the journey to London, which was, she said, a very different thing from going out with him in the phaeton at St. Mary's; and also by giving him instructions for his conduct at Lisbon; and her opinion of the state of parties there. Her advice was excellent after she had been rescued from a general confusion of Spain and Portugal, and from a particular predilection for the anti-English party at Lisbon, which she said was a mistake she had been led into by having lately talked over the subject with an Opposition member; but otherwise, she added, she knew more of Lisbon than anybody, and she had really half a mind to make Portmore run over there in his yacht, that she might assist Lord Teviot in doing the honours.
"Yes, pray do," he said, in hopes that Helen might hear; "you cannot have a pleasanter trip, and it will give me a brilliant start in my diplomatic career."
​"Well, then, let us make a party. Ernest, will you go to Lisbon while Teviot is there? Portmore and I are going over in our yacht, and we will take you if you like to go."
"Not I; what! go tossing about the Bay of Biscay in October in that cockle-shell! I think I see myself. No, thank you; besides, my noble soul scorns the thought of being merely one of Teviot's suite."
"Ver good," said La Grange, "but more bitter than sweet. There, I have make one pon. I say. Lady Portmore, the colonel is more bitter than sweet; that is two pons."
"I doubt, M. la Grange, whether you understand the colonel better than I understand puns. I think that man much too detestable," said Lady Portmore to Lord Teviot, "and I see clearly I am in a sad scrape with Ernest. The truth is, I have neglected him rather shamefully, considering that he came here purposely to meet me; but he will soon come into good humour again. Beaufort, will you join our party?"
"I object to that," said Helen, looking up with sudden animation. "Beaufort is going home with me."
That one word was enough to explain to the refined ears of most of her hearers how matters stood between the husband and wife. It was discord to Lord Teviot, grief to Lord Beaufort and Mary, but music to Colonel Stuart, who was seated by Helen, and at that moment thought "My time is come."
"I fear Lady Sophia's health must make it necessarily only a family party at Eskdale," he said in his softest tones, "or I would accept an invitation your father was so good as to give me. I have been almost afraid to ask what your account was this afternoon?"
"Not good, certainly; but perhaps I see things en noir to-day. At all events, the less we talk about it the better; but you would do wisely. Colonel Stuart, to put off your visit to Eskdale till it would be a less dull one."
​"It never could be dull; but whether it ever would be a wise measure, is more than I can say." His looks were intended to explain his oracular words, but Helen was too innocent to understand them. She had yet to learn that the first moment in which a woman lets it appear that she and her husband are at variance is the last in which she is safe from the impertinent admiration of others; and Colonel Stuart's looks and words were alike thrown away. Her mind was full of her own unparalleled griefs and wrongs. She was not sure she had been right in saying what she knew would vex Lord Teviot; but she felt rather the better for it too, and she was enabled to get through the remaining time at dinner without bursting into tears.
The conversation, in defiance of Mr. G.'s attempts to give it another turn, would revert to Lisbon. Fisherwick shrugged and signalled and whispered to La Grange, "I wish they would be a little more prudent before the servants. I see he is quite distressed. The Opposition papers will get hold of Lord Teviot's appointment before we gazette him, and there will be the deuce to pay with them."
"Are the journals so much dear to pay?" said La Grange, who hoped he had opened a new vein of information. Do you pay them yourself?"
"Pay them!" repeated Fisherwick. "My dear sir, do you really suppose we should deign to buy off any of those vile, libellous publications? What do we care for them? The papers that have any circulation are not to be bought, and as for the Opposition trash, it is not worth buying."
"I admire your papers beyond all that I see in England. We think much in our country of your liberty of the Press; but it far pass my hopes. It is the greatest of benefits to a stranger: it let him at once into secrets of society. You can tell to me, Fisherwick, if it be true what they do say, that Mr. G. have made these changes in ​your trade-laws because his brother, who do own many vessels, will find it for his good."
"Is it possible, my dear sir," gasped Fisherwick, "that you can read and believe such detestable lies as are published in that infamous paper? not that I ever look at it, but he told me of that paragraph. He is magnanimous on those points to a degree of which I can give you no idea; but if anybody can really believe such libels—I must have these fellows pulled up."
"Ah! ah! you are angry, my dear Fisherwick. What! Mr. G. do then have a brother with shipping?"
"I angry!" said Fisherwick, puffing like an irate grampus; "if we official men were put out by such palpable calumnies as these, a blessed time we should have of it."
"But he have a brother which trades," pursued La Grange, shouting with delight as he felt he was driving Fisherwick to earth.
"He has three brothers, men of very distinguished ability and large fortune." This was enunciated with much majesty.
"And one in trade; ha, I have found you out; my paper did tell the trute."
Fisherwick turned from him in disgust, and had in consequence to endure a slap on the shoulder, and another triumphant laugh, as La Grange continued to repeat, "Found out."
After the ladies went to the drawing-room, Helen had Lady Portmore's high spirits and oppressive pity to bear; but much to her surprise was defended and protected by Mrs. Douglas, who sympathized with her headache, promoted her quiet, and snubbed Lady Portmore with great success.
Eliza was unfeignedly low at her own prospects; she thought she had only one more day of perfect happiness to come, and then there would be an end of refinement ​and Colonel Beaufort, and the reign of the Birketts and Thompsons would recommence; and she owned to herself that her tastes were sadly altered, and that she should like to live always in such society as she had met during the last few weeks.
When the gentlemen came in, the gaiety of the evening did not increase. Lady Portmore tried to get up a reconciliation with Ernest, who strenuously denied the existence of any quarrel. She begged his pardon for what she had said at dinner, and he declared he did not recollect what it was; and she ended by assuring him he was a strange creature, but that she saw that he was piqued, and felt sure that one day or other he would do her greater justice. Mr. G. and Fisherwick, who were to start at break of day, took leave overnight—Fisherwick hoping it might not be very cold in the morning, and Mr. G. with some suspicion that he had disturbed the peace of the Teviot ménage; but still he felt in his ambitious soul, "They would at all events have been tired of each other in six months, and perhaps then I could not have given Teviot such a good appointment." La Grange made his farewell speech, and announced that he was desolated to go, but that their excellent neighbour, Mrs. Dowbiggin, that charming woman, had done him the honour to invite him for a few days to N———, where he meant to initiate himself into all the details of trade and commerce. Lord and Lady Middlesex and various minor members of the society departed; and under these afflicting circumstances, the melancholy of the hostess and the forced gaiety of the host did them the highest credit. It gave them the amiable appearance of being actually sorry to lose their friends; and several of the party went away declaring, in the innocence of their hearts, that they should never forget the genuine grief with which their departure had affected those amiable Teviots.