# As You Like It (1919) Yale/Text/Act V

Layout 2
ACT FIFTH
Scene One
[The Forest of Arden]
Enter Touchstone and Audrey.
Touch. We shall find a time, Audrey: patience, gentle Audrey.
Aud. Faith, the priest was good enough, for all the old gentleman's saying. 4
Touch. A most wicked Sir Oliver, Audrey; a most vile Martext. But, Audrey, there is a youth here in the forest lays claim to you.
Aud. Ay, I know who 'tis: he hath no interest in me in the world. Here comes the man you mean. 10
Enter William.
Touch. It is meat and drink to me to see a clown. By my troth, we that have good wits have much to answer for: we shall be flouting; we cannot hold.
Will. Good even, Audrey.
Aud. God ye good even, William. 16
Will. And good even to you, sir.
Touch. Good even, gentle friend. Cover thy head, cover thy head; nay, prithee, be covered. How old are you, friend? 20
Will. Five-and-twenty, sir.
Touch. A ripe age. Is thy name William?
Will. William, sir.
Touch. A fair name. Wast born i' the forest here? 25
​Will. Ay, sir, I thank God.
Touch. 'Thank God'; a good answer. Art rich? 28
Will. Faith, sir, so so.
Touch. 'So so,' is good, very good, very excel- lent good: and yet it is not; it is but so so. Art thou wise? 32
Will. Ay, sir, I have a pretty wit.
Touch. Why, thou sayest well. I do now re- member a saying, 'The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool.' The heathen philosopher, when he had a desire to eat a grape, would open his lips when he put it into his mouth; meaning thereby that grapes were made to eat and lips to open. You do love this maid? 41
Will. I do, sir.
Touch. Give me your hand. Art thou learned?
Will. No, sir. 44
Touch. Then learn this of me: to have, is to have; for it is a figure in rhetoric, that drink, being poured out of a cup into a glass, by fill- ing the one doth empty the other; for all your writers do consent that ipse is he: now, you are not ipse, for I am he. 50
Will. Which he, sir?
Touch. He, sir, that must marry this woman. Therefore, you clown, abandon,—which is in the vulgar, leave,—the society,—which in the boorish is, company,—of this female,—which in the com- mon is, woman; which together is, abandon the society of this female, or, clown, thou perishest; or, to thy better understanding, diest; or, to wit, ​I kill thee, make thee away, translate thy life 59 into death, thy liberty into bondage. I will deal in poison with thee, or in bastinado, or in steel; I will bandy with thee in faction; I will o'errun thee with policy; I will kill thee a hundred and fifty ways: therefore tremble, and depart. 64
Aud. Do, good William.
Will. God rest you merry, sir. Exit.
Enter Corin.
Cor. Our master and mistress seek you: come, away, away! 68
Touch. Trip, Audrey! trip, Audrey! I attend, I attend. Exeunt.
Scene Two
[Another Part of the Forest]
Enter Orlando and Oliver.
Orl. Is 't possible that on so little acquaint- ance you should like her? that, but seeing, you should love her? and, loving, woo? and, wooing, she should grant? and will you persever to enjoy her? 5
Oli. Neither call the giddiness of it in ques- tion, the poverty of her, the small acquaintance, my sudden wooing, nor her sudden consenting; but say with me, I love Aliena; say with her, that she loves me; consent with both, that we may enjoy each other: it shall be to your good; for my father's house and all the revenue that ​was old Sir Rowland's will I estate upon you, and here live and die a shepherd. 14
Enter Rosalind.
Orl. You have my consent. Let your wedding be to-morrow: thither will I invite the duke and all's contented followers. Go you and prepare Aliena; for, look you, here comes my Rosalind.
Ros. God save you, brother. 20
Oli. And you, fair sister. [Exit.]
Ros. O! my dear Orlando, how it grieves me to see thee wear thy heart in a scarf.
Orl. It is my arm. 24
Ros. I thought thy heart had been wounded with the claws of a lion.
Orl. Wounded it is, but with the eyes of a lady. 28
Ros. Did your brother tell you how I coun- terfeited to swound when he showed me your handkercher?
Orl. Ay, and greater wonders than that. 32
Ros. O! I know where you are. Nay, 'tis true: there was never anything so sudden but the fight of two rams, and Cæsar's thrasonical brag of 'I came, saw, and overcame': for your brother and my sister no sooner met, but they looked; no sooner looked but they loved; no sooner loved but they sighed; no sooner sighed but they asked one another the reason; no 40 sooner knew the reason but they sought the ​remedy: and in these degrees have they made a pair of stairs to marriage which they will climb incontinent, or else be incontinent before mar- riage. They are in the very wrath of love, and they will together: clubs cannot part them. 46
Orl. They shall be married to-morrow, and I will bid the duke to the nuptial. But, O! how bitter a thing it is to look into happiness through another man's eyes. By so much the more shall I to-morrow be at the height of heart-heaviness, by how much I shall think my brother happy in having what he wishes for. 53
Ros. Why then, to-morrow I cannot serve your turn for Rosalind?
Orl. I can live no longer by thinking. 56
Ros. I will weary you then no longer with idle talking. Know of me then,—for now I speak to some purpose,—that I know you are a gentleman of good conceit. I speak not this that 60 you should bear a good opinion of my know- ledge, insomuch I say I know you are; neither do I labour for a greater esteem than may in some little measure draw a belief from you, to do yourself good, and not to grace me. Believe 65 then, if you please, that I can do strange things. I have, since I was three year old, conversed with a magician, most profound in his art and yet not damnable. If you do love Rosalind so near the heart as your gesture cries it out, when 70 your brother marries Aliena, shall you marry her. I know into what straits of fortune she is driven; ​and it is not impossible to me, if it appear not inconvenient to you, to set her before your eyes to-morrow, human as she is, and without any danger. 76
Orl. Speakest thou in sober meanings?
Ros. By my life, I do; which I tender dearly, though I say I am a magician. Therefore, put you in your best array; bid your friends; for if you will be married to-morrow, you shall; and to Rosalind, if you will.
Enter Silvius and Phebe.
Look, here comes a lover of mine, and a lover of hers.
Phe. Youth, you have done me much ungentleness, 84 To show the letter that I writ to you.
Ros. I care not if I have: it is my study To seem despiteful and ungentle to you. You are there follow'd by a faithful shepherd: 88 Look upon him, love him; he worships you.
Phe. Good shepherd, tell this youth what 'tis to love.
Sil. It is to be all made of sighs and tears; And so am I for Phebe. 92
Phe. And I for Ganymede.
Orl. And I for Rosalind.
Ros. And I for no woman.
Sil. It is to be all made of faith and service; 96 And so am I for Phebe.
Phe. And I for Ganymede.
Orl. And I for Rosalind.
Ros. And I for no woman. 100
​Sil. It is to be all made of fantasy, All made of passion, and all made of wishes; All adoration, duty, and observance; All humbleness, all patience, and impatience; 104 All purity, all trial, all obedience; And so am I for Phebe.
Phe. And so am I for Ganymede.
Orl. And so am I for Rosalind. 108
Ros. And so am I for no woman.
Phe. [To Rosalind.] If this be so, why blame you me to love you?
Sil. [To Phebe.] If this be so, why blame you me to love you?
Orl. If this be so, why blame you me to love you?
Ros. Why do you speak too, 'Why blame you me to love you?'
Orl. To her that is not here, nor doth not hear. 114
Ros. Pray you, no more of this: 'tis like the howling of Irish wolves against the moon. [To Silvius.] I will help you, if I can: [To Phebe.] I would love you, if I could. To-morrow meet me all together. [To Phebe.] I will marry you, if ever I marry woman, and I'll be married to- 120 morrow: [To Orlando.] I will satisfy you, if ever I satisfied man, and you shall be married to-morrow: [To Silvius.] I will content you, if what pleases you contents you, and you shall be married to-morrow. [To Orlando.] As you love Rosalind, meet: [To Silvius.] As you love Phebe, meet: and as I love no woman, I'll meet. So, fare you well: I have left you com- mands. 129
​Sil. I'll not fail, if I live.
Phe. Nor I.
Orl. Nor I. Exeunt.
Scene Three
[Another Part of the Forest]
Enter Touchstone and Audrey.
Touch. To-morrow is the joyful day, Audrey; to-morrow will we be married.
Aud. I do desire it with all my heart, and I hope it is no dishonest desire to desire to be a woman of the world. Here come two of the banished duke's pages. 6
Enter two Pages.
First Page. Well met, honest gentleman.
Touch. By my troth, well met. Come, sit, sit, and a song. 9
Sec. Page. We are for you: sit i' the middle.
First Page. Shall we clap into 't roundly, without hawking or spitting, or saying we are hoarse, which are the only prologues to a bad voice?
Sec. Page. I'faith, i'faith; and both in a tune, like two gipsies on a horse. 17
Song.
'It was a lover and his lass, With a hey, and a ho, and a hey nonino, ​That o'er the green corn-field did pass, 20 In the spring time, the only pretty ring time, When birds do sing, hey ding a ding, ding; Sweet lovers love the spring.
Between the acres of the rye, 24 With a hey, and a ho, and a hey nonino, These pretty country folks would lie, In the spring time, &c.
This carol they began that hour, 28 With a hey, and a ho, and a hey nonino, How that a life was but a flower In the spring time, &c.
And therefore take the present time, 32 With a hey, and a ho, and a hey nonino; For love is crowned with the prime In the spring time, &c.'
Touch. Truly, young gentlemen, though there was no great matter in the ditty, yet the note was very untuneable.
First Page. You are deceived, sir: we kept time; we lost not our time. 40
Touch. By my troth, yes; I count it but time lost to hear such a foolish song. God be wi' you; and God mend your voices! Come, Audrey.
Exeunt.
Scene Four
[Another Part of the Forest]
Enter Duke Senior, Amiens, Jaques, Orlando, Oliver, Celia.
Duke S. Dost thou believe, Orlando, that the boy Can do all this that he hath promised?
Orl. I sometimes do believe, and sometimes do not; As those that fear they hope, and know they fear. 4
Enter Rosalind, Silvius, and Phebe.
Ros. Patience once more, whiles our compact is urg'd. [To the Duke.] You say, if I bring in your Rosalind, You will bestow her on Orlando here?
Duke S. That would I, had I kingdoms to give with her. 8
Ros. [To Orlando.] And you say, you will have her when I bring her?
Orl. That would I, were I of all kingdoms king.
Ros. [To Phebe.] You say, that you'll marry me, if I be willing?
Phe. That will I, should I die the hour after. 12
Ros. But if you do refuse to marry me, You'll give yourself to this most faithful shepherd?
Phe. So is the bargain.
Ros. [To Silvius.] You say, that you'll have Phebe, if she will? 16
Sil. Though to have her and death were both one thing.
Ros. I have promis'd to make all this matter even. Keep you your word, O duke, to give your daughter; You yours, Orlando, to receive his daughter; 20 ​Keep your word, Phebe, that you'll marry me, Or else, refusing me, to wed this shepherd; Keep your word, Silvius, that you'll marry her, If she refuse me: and from hence I go, 24 To make these doubts all even.
Exeunt Rosalind and Celia.
Duke S. I do remember in this shepherd boy Some lively touches of my daughter's favour.
Orl. My lord, the first time that I ever saw him, 28 Methought he was a brother to your daughter; But, my good lord, this boy is forest-born, And hath been tutor'd in the rudiments Of many desperate studies by his uncle, 32 Whom he reports to be a great magician, Obscured in the circle of this forest.
Enter Clown [i.e., Touchstone] and Audrey.
Jaq. There is, sure, another flood toward, and these couples are coming to the ark. Here comes a pair of very strange beasts, which in all tongues are called fools. 38
Touch. Salutation and greeting to you all!
Jaq. Good my lord, bid him welcome. This is the motley-minded gentleman that I have so often met in the forest: he hath been a courtier, he swears. 43
Touch. If any man doubt that, let him put me to my purgation. I have trod a measure; I have flattered a lady; I have been politic with my friend, smooth with mine enemy; I have un- done three tailors; I have had four quarrels, and like to have fought one. 49
​Jaq. And how was that ta'en up?
Touch. Faith, we met, and found the quarrel was upon the seventh cause. 52
Jaq. How seventh cause? Good my lord, like this fellow.
Duke S. I like him very well.
Touch. God 'ild you, sir; I desire you of the like. I press in here, sir, amongst the rest of the country copulatives, to swear, and to forswear, according as marriage binds and blood breaks. 59 A poor virgin, sir, an ill-favoured thing, sir, but mine own: a poor humour of mine, sir, to take that that no man else will. Rich honesty dwells like a miser, sir, in a poor house, as your pearl in your foul oyster. 64
Duke S. By my faith, he is very swift and sententious.
Touch. According to the fool's bolt, sir, and such dulcet diseases. 68
Jaq. But, for the seventh cause; how did you find the quarrel on the seventh cause?
Touch. Upon a lie seven times removed:— bear your body more seeming, Audrey:—as thus, sir. I did dislike the cut of a certain courtier's 73 beard: he sent me word, if I said his beard was not cut well, he was in the mind it was: this is called 'the retort courteous.' If I sent him word again, it was not well cut, he would send me word, he cut it to please himself: this is called the 'quip modest.' If again, it was not well cut, ​he disabled my judgment: this is called the 80 'reply churlish.' If again, it was not well cut, he would answer, I spake not true: this is called the 'reproof valiant': if again, it was not well cut, he would say, I lie: this is called the 'countercheck quarrelsome': and so to the 'lie circumstantial,' and the 'lie direct.'
Jaq. And how oft did you say his beard was not well cut? 88
Touch. I durst go no further than the 'lie circumstantial,' nor he durst not give me the 'lie direct'; and so we measured swords and parted.
Jaq. Can you nominate in order now the de- grees of the lie? 93
Touch. O sir, we quarrel in print; by the book, as you have books for good manners: I will name you the degrees. The first, the 'retort courteous'; the second, the 'quip modest'; the third, the 'reply churlish'; the fourth, the 're- proof valiant'; the fifth, the 'countercheck 99 quarrelsome'; the sixth, the 'lie with circum- stance'; the seventh, the 'lie direct.' All these you may avoid but the lie direct; and you may avoid that too, with an 'if.' I knew when seven justices could not take up a quarrel; but when the parties were met themselves, one of them thought but of an 'if,' as 'If you said so, then I said so'; and they shook hands and swore brothers. Your 'if' is the only peace-maker; much virtue in 'if.' 109
Jaq. Is not this a rare fellow, my lord? he's as good at anything, and yet a fool.
​Duke S. He uses his folly like a stalking- horse, and under the presentation of that he shoots his wit. 114
Enter Hymen, Rosalind [in woman's dress], and Celia.
Still Music.
Hym. 'Then is there mirth in heaven, When earthly things made even 116 Atone together. Good duke, receive thy daughter; Hymen from heaven brought her; Yea, brought her hither, 120 That thou mightst join her hand with his, Whose heart within her bosom is.'
Ros. [To Duke S.] To you I give myself, for I am yours. [To Orlando.] To you I give myself, for I am yours. 124
Duke S. If there be truth in sight, you are my daughter.
Orl. If there be truth in sight, you are my Rosalind.
Phe. If sight and shape be true, Why then, my love adieu! 128
Ros. [To Duke S.] I'll have no father, if you be not he. [To Orlando.] I'll have no husband, if you be not he: [To Phebe.] Nor ne'er wed woman, if you be not she.
Hym. 'Peace, ho! I bar confusion: 132 'Tis I must make conclusion Of these most strange events: Here's eight that must take hands To join in Hymen's bands, 136 If truth holds true contents.' [To Orlando and Rosalind.] You and you no cross shall part: [To Oliver and Celia.] You and you are heart in heart: [To Phebe.] You to his love must accord, 140 Or have a woman to your lord: [To Touchstone and Audrey.] You and you are sure together, As the winter to foul weather. Whiles a wedlock hymn we sing, 144 Feed yourselves with questioning, That reason wonder may diminish, How thus we met, and these things finish.
Song.
'Wedding is great Juno's crown: 148 O blessed bond of board and bed! 'Tis Hymen peoples every town; High wedlock then be honoured. Honour, high honour, and renown, 152 To Hymen, god of every town!'
Duke S. O my dear niece! welcome thou art to me: Even daughter, welcome in no less degree.
Phe. [To Silvius.] I will not eat my word, now thou art mine; 156 ​Thy faith my fancy to thee doth combine.
Enter Second Brother [Jaques de Boys].
Jaq. de B. Let me have audience for a word or two: I am the second son of old Sir Rowland, That bring these tidings to this fair assembly. 160 Duke Frederick, hearing how that every day Men of great worth resorted to this forest, Address'd a mighty power, which were on foot In his own conduct, purposely to take 164 His brother here and put him to the sword: And to the skirts of this wild wood he came, Where, meeting with an old religious man, After some question with him, was converted 168 Both from his enterprise and from the world; His crown bequeathing to his banish'd brother, And all their lands restor'd to them again That were with him exil'd. This to be true, 172 I do engage my life.
Duke S.Welcome, young man; Thou offer'st fairly to thy brothers' wedding: To one, his lands withheld; and to the other A land itself at large, a potent dukedom. 176 First, in this forest, let us do those ends That here were well begun and well begot; And after, every of this happy number That have endur'd shrewd days and nights with us, 180 Shall share the good of our returned fortune, According to the measure of their states. Meantime, forget this new-fall'n dignity, ​And fall into our rustic revelry. 184 Play, music! and you, brides and bridegrooms all, With measure heap'd in joy, to the measures fall.
Jaq. Sir, by your patience. If I heard you rightly, The duke hath put on a religious life, 188 And thrown into neglect the pompous court?
Jaq. de B. He hath.
Jaq. To him will I: out of these convertites There is much matter to be heard and learn'd. 192 [To Duke S.] You to your former honour I bequeath; Your patience and your virtue well deserve it: [To Orlando.] You to a love that your true faith doth merit: [To Oliver.] You to your land, and love, and great allies: 196 [To Silvius.] You to a long and well-deserved bed: [To Touchstone.] And you to wrangling; for thy loving voyage Is but for two months victual'd. So, to your pleasures: I am for other than for dancing measures. 200
Duke S. Stay, Jaques, stay.
Jaq. To see no pastime, I: what you would have I'll stay to know at your abandon'd cave. Exit.
Duke S. Proceed, proceed: we will begin these rites, 204 As we do trust they'll end, in true delights.
Exeunt.
[EPILOGUE.
Spoken by Rosalind.]
It is not the fashion to see the lady the epilogue; but it is no more unhandsome than to see the lord the prologue. If it be true that good wine needs no bush, 'tis true that a good play needs no epilogue; yet to good wine they 5 do use good bushes, and good plays prove the better by the help of good epilogues. What a case am I in then, that am neither a good epi- logue, nor cannot insinuate with you in the be- half of a good play! I am not furnished like a 10 beggar, therefore to beg will not become me: my way is, to conjure you; and I'll begin with the women. I charge you, women! for the love you bear to men, to like as much of this play as please you: and I charge you, men! for the 15 love you bear to women,—as I perceive by your simpering none of you hate them,—that between you and the women, the play may please. If I were a woman I would kiss as many of you as had beards that pleased me, complexions that 20 liked me, and breaths that I defied not; and, I am sure, as many as have good beards, or good faces, or sweet breaths, will, for my kind offer, when I make curtsy, bid me farewell.
Exit.
FINIS
Footnotes to Act V
Scene One
​13 we . . . flouting: i.e., we must have something to mock at 14 hold: i.e., our peace 16 God ye: God give you ​49 ipse is he; cf. n. ​59 translate: transform 61 bastinado: beating with a stick 62 bandy: strive faction: dissension o'errun: overwhelm 63 policy: craft
Scene Two
​6 call . . . in question: scrutinize, inquire into ​13 estate: bestow; cf. n. 15-19 Cf. n. 21 fair sister; cf. n. 23 heart in a scarf; cf. n. 33 where you are: i.e., what you are driving at 35 thrasonical: boastful; cf. n. 36 'I . . . overcame'; cf. n. ​42 degrees: pun on two meanings: 'successive gradations' and 'steps' 44 incontinent: forthwith; cf. n. 45 wrath: ardor 46 clubs; cf. n. 60 conceit: understanding 62-65 neither . . . good; cf. n. 65 grace me: do honor to myself 69 damnable; cf. n. 70 gesture: bearing ​74 inconvenient: undesirable 78 tender: regard 79 though . . . magician; cf. n. 86 study: diligent endeavor ​102 wishes: longings 103 observance: service 105 Cf. n. 116 Irish wolves; cf. n.
Scene Three
​5 woman of the world: married woman 10 are for you: agree to your proposal 12 clap into 't roundly: set about it briskly 14 only: invariable 16 a: one Song; cf. n. ​21 ring time: season for exchanging rings (in betrothal or marriage) 34 prime: spring 38 untuneable: discordant
Scene Four
​4 As . . . fear; cf. n. 5 urg'd: clearly emphasized 18 even: smooth, i.e., plain ​25 doubts: ambiguities 32 desperate: reckless, heterodox 34 Obscured: hidden, or, living in retirement 35 toward: forthcoming 44 put . . . purgation; cf. n. 45 measure: stately dance 47 undone three tailors; cf. n. ​50 ta'en up: made up 56 desire . . . like; cf. n. 58 copulatives: i.e., persons about to be married 59 blood: passion 65 swift: quick-witted 66 sententious: pithy 67 fool's bolt: i.e., which is soon shot 68 dulcet diseases: sweet vexations (?) 72 seeming: becomingly 73 dislike: express disapproval of 79 'quip modest': i.e., a moderate flout ​85 countercheck: rebuke 86 circumstantial: indirect 91 measured swords: fought a few passes 92 nominate: name 95 book; cf. n. ​112 stalking-horse; cf. n. 113 presentation: display 114 S. d. Hymen; cf. n. Still: soft 117 Atone: unite 121, 122 Cf. n. 127 sight and shape; cf. n. ​137 truth . . . contents: i.e., if there be truth in truth 142 sure together: indissolubly united 146 reason: explanation 155 Even daughter; cf. n. ​157 combine: bind 163 Address'd: prepared power: army 164 conduct: guidance 168 question: talk 173 engage: pledge 174 offer'st fairly: makest generous offerings 177 do . . . ends: complete those purposes 180 shrewd: grievous 182 states: i.e., positions in the world 183 new-fall'n: recently acquired ​186 With measure: temperately 191 convertites: converts
Epilogue
​Epilogue— 1 the lady; cf. n. 2 unhandsome: improper, unseemly 4 wine . . . bush; cf. n. 9 insinuate: i.e., wheedle myself into your favor 12 conjure: call solemnly upon 18 If . . . woman; cf. n 21 defied: distrusted