# Alice's Adventures in Cambridge/IV

Illustrated by E. L. Barron
CHAPTER IV
Alice meets the Black Knight and the Channing Mouse
ALICE gave a little scream of delight when she came in sight of Harvard Square.
"Now I know where I am," she said to herself. "I can tell by that—that—well, that big round thing in the middle. I de­clare! I do believe I have forgotten its name," she went on. "I wonder if I can remember my own. Let's see—is it Mabel? No. It must be Bertha. No, that's not right either. I know it began with an L. Oh dear, I really have forgotten it. What shall I do!"
Here Alice began to cry. You must re­member she was a very little girl, and had never forgotten her name before.
"Come, come," said a voice, "don't cry. We have had enough rain lately."
​"But I have forgotten my name," sobbed Alice.
"Oh, is that all?" said the voice. "Well, your name is Alice."
Alice looked up and saw the Black Knight standing in front of her. There was no mis­taking him, because he wore a full suit of black tin armor.
​"Thank you," said Alice. "I'm sure I don't know how I came to forget it."
"Is there anything else you would like to know?" said the Black Knight politely. "I can tell you your age, class, and marks for the last three years; also your brother's, father's, grandfather's and great-grand­father's names, classes, marks, and general appearance."
"What a wonderful person you must be!" said Alice, drying her eyes.
"Not at all," replied the Black Knight. "It is all in a day's work. You see, I have two assistants—the Queen and the Recorder."
"What does the Recorder do?" asked Alice.
"He counts the number of cuts it takes to sever connection with the University," the Black Knight answered.
"It must be very trying sort of work," said Alice.
"Yes, he's trying all the time," said the Black Knight, "but he never succeeds with­out the Queen's help."
​"I suppose you know how to manage them," said Alice.
"Oh yes," the Black Knight said. "You see, they have to go to me for their facts. The fiction they do themselves. By the way, would you like to see an Iconoclast?"
"What is it?" asked Alice, not quite sure whether it was an animal or a Greek temple.
"Come on," said the Black Knight. "I'll show you."
Alice was doubtful at first whether she wanted to go or not, but she followed the Black Knight till they came to a place where there were a lot of gravestones scattered about. At least, Alice thought they were gravestones until she read on one of them:
On this Spot (or near here) General Johnson looked for Four-Leaved Clovers During the Battle of Bunker Hill June 17, 1775
​They passed many stones with similar inscriptions on them, when they came to one on which a mouse was working with a hammer and chisel.
The tablet read:
Under this Tree General Washington Did take Command of the American Army July 3, 1775
There was no tree in sight anywhere round, but there was a stump which Alice supposed might have been a tree once. The Mouse was busy carving not between the did and the take. He had done the n and was just finishing the o.
"That's the Channing Mouse," said the Black Knight. "He never believes any­thing he is told."
Just then the Mouse hit his thumb with the hammer, and turned round with a very annoyed expression on his face. When he ​caught sight of Alice and the Black Knight, he cried:
"What do you want here?"
"I just wanted to see," began Alice timidly, "what you are doing."
"Oh," said the Mouse in a relieved tone. "Well, I am just correcting this inscription. It is quite inaccurate. General Washington was never here. In fact, I find that he was never within twenty miles of here. I have also discovered that he never took command of the American Army for the simple reason that the American Army is a myth. I am now beginning to doubt that there was ever such a person as George Washington."
"There's a George Washington Cram," said the Black Knight.
"That is also a myth," said the Chan­ning Mouse, "and I can prove it."
"Oh!" cried Alice, who had been reading another tablet, "did Paul Revere ride by here?"
"Paul Revere is another myth," said the Mouse.
​"He is not," said the Black Knight. "He was in the class of 1770, and had a C in Eng­lish A, a B in History 2, and—"
"Your memory is simply a legend," said the Mouse, and set to work again with his chisel.
"Come on," the Black Knight said to Alice. "Are you going to the Queen's croquet party?"
"The Queen," said the Mouse, turning round again, "is a complete fabrication. There never was such a person."
As Alice and the Black Knight walked away, Alice asked:
"Doesn't he believe in anything?"
"Nothing but himself," replied the Black Knight.