# The Works of the Rev. Jonathan Swift/Volume 2/Analytical Table

ANALYTICAL TABLE.
The Author's Apology.
THE Tale approved of by a great majority among the men of taste. Some treatises written expressly against it; but not one syllable in its defence. The greatest part of it finished in 1696; eight years before it was published. The Author's intention, when he began it. No irreligious or immoral opinion can fairly be deduced from the book. The Clergy have no reason to dislike it. The Author's intention not having met with a candid interpretation, he declined engaging in a task he had proposed to himself; of examining some publications, that were intended against all religion. Unfair to fix a name upon an Author, who had so industriously concealed himself. The Letter on Enthusiasm ascribed by several to the same Author. If the abuses in Law or Physic had been the subject of this treatise; the learned professors in either faculty would have been more liberal, than the Clergy. ​The passages, which appear most liable to objection, are parodies. The Author entirely innocent of any intention of glancing at those tenets of Religion, which he has by some prejudiced or ignorant readers been supposed to mean. This particularly the case in the passage about the three wooden machines. An irony runs through the whole book. Not necessary to take notice of treatises written against it The usual fate of common answerers to books of merit is to sink into waste paper and oblivion. The case very different, when a great genius exposes a foolish piece. Reflections occasioned by Dr. King's Remarks on the Tale of a Tub; others, by Mr. Wotton. The manner in which the Tale was first published accounted for. The Fragment not printed in the way the Author intended; being the ground-work of a much larger discourse. The oaths of Peter why introduced. The severest strokes of satire in the treatise are levelled against the custom of employing wit in profaneness or immodesty. Wit the noblest and most useful gift of human nature; and Humour the most agreeable. Those who have no share of either, think the blow weak, because they are themselves insensible.
P. S. The Author of the Key wrong, in all his conjectures. The whole work entirely by one hand; the Author defying any one to claim three lines in the book.
The Bookseller's Dedication to lord Somers:
How he finds out that Lord to be the Patron intended by his Author. Dedicators ridiculous, who praise their Patrons for qualities that do not belong to them.
The Bookseller to the Reader:
Tells how long he has had these papers; when they were written, and why he publishes them now.
The Dedication to Posterity:
The Author, apprehending that Time will soon destroy almost all the writings of this age; complains of his malice against modern Authors and their productions, in hurrying them so quickly off the scene; and therefore addresses Posterity in favour of his contemporaries; assures him, they abound in wit and learning, and books; and for instance mentions Dryden, Tate, D'Urfey, Bentley, and Wotton.
Preface.
The Occasion and Design of this Work.
Project for employing the beaux of the nation. Of modern Prefaces. Modern Wit how delicate. Method for penetrating into an Author's thoughts.
Complaints of every Writer against the multitude of Writers, like the fat fellow's in a crowd. Our Author insists on the common privilege of Writers; to be favourably explained, when not understood; and to praise himself in the modern way. This treatise without satire: and why. Fame sooner gotten by satire, than panegyrick; the subject of the latter being narrow, and that of the former ​infinite. Difference between Athens and England, as to general and particular satire. The Author designs a panegyric on the world, and a modest defence of the rabble.
Sect. I. The Introduction. A physico-mythological dissertation on the different sorts of oratorial machines. Of the bar and the bench. The Author fond of the number Three; promises a panegyrick on it. Of pulpits; which are the best. Of ladders; on which the British orators surpass all others. Of the stage itinerant; the seminary of the two former. A physical reason, why those machines are elevated. Of the curious contrivance of modern theatres. These three machines emblematically represent the various sorts of Authors.
An apologetical dissertation for the Grub-street Writers, against their revolted rivals of Gresham and Will's. Superficial Readers cannot easily find out Wisdom; which is compared to several pretty things. Commentaries promised on several writings of Grub-street authors; as Reynard the Fox, Tom Thumb, Dr. Faustus, Whittington and his Cat, the Hind and Panther, Tommy Pots, and The Wise Men of Gotham. The Author's pen and person worn out in serving the state. Multiplicity of tides and dedications.
Sect. II. Tale of a Tub. Of a Father and his Three Sons. His will, and his legacies to them. Of the young men's carriage at the beginning: and of the genteel qualifications they acquired in town. Description of a new sect, who adored their creator the taylor. Of their idol, and their system. The three brothers follow the mode, against their ​father's will; and get shoulder-knots, by help of distinctions; gold-lace, by help of tradition; flame-coloured satin lining, by means of a supposed codicil; silver fringe, by virtue of critical interpretation; and embroidery of Indian figures, by laying aside the plain literal meaning. The will at last locked up. Peter got into a lord's house, and after his death turned out his children, and took in his own brothers in their stead.
Sect. III. A Digression concerning Criticks. Three sorts of Criticks; the two first sorts now extinct. The true sort of Criticks' genealogy; office; definition. Antiquity of their race proved from Pausanias, who represents them by Asses browzing on vines; and Herodotus, by Asses with horns; and by an Ass, that frightened a Scythian army; and Diodorus, by a Poisonous Weed; and Ctesias, by Serpents that poison with their vomit; and Terence, by the name of Malevoli. The true Critick compared to a Taylor; and to a true Beggar. Three characteristicks of a true modern Critick.
Sect. IV. Tale of a Tub continued. Peter assumes grandeur and titles; and, to support them, turns projector. The Author's hopes of being translated into foreign languages. Peter's first invention, of Terra Australis Incognita. The second of a remedy for Worms. The third, a Whispering-office. Fourth, an Insurance Office. Fifth, an Universal Pickle. Sixth, a set of Bulls with leaden feet. Lastly, his pardons to malefactors. Peter's brains turned; he plays several tricks, and turns out his brothers' wives. Gives his brothers bread for mutton and for wine. Tells huge lies; of a Cow's milk, ​that would fill 3000 churches; of a Sign-post, as large as a man of war; of a House, that travelled 2000 leagues. The brothers steal a copy of the will; break open the cellar door; and are both kicked out of doors by Peter.
Sect. V. A Digression in the modern kind. Our Author expatiates on his great pains to serve the publick by instructing, and more by diverting. The Moderns having so far excelled the Ancients, the Author gives them a receipt for a complete svstem of all arts and sciences, in a small pocket-volume. Several defects discovered in Homer; and his ignorance in modern invention, &c. Our Author's writings fit to supply all defects. He justifies his praising his own writings, by modern examples.
Sect. VI. Tale of a Tub continued. The Two brothers ejected agree in a resolution to reform, according to the will. They take different names; and are found to be of different complexions. How Martin began rudely, but proceeded more cautiously, in reforming his coat. Jack, of a different temper, and full of zeal, begins tearing all to pieces. He endeavours to kindle up Martin to the same pitch; but not succeeding, they separate. Jack runs mad, gets many names, and founds the sect of Æolists.
Sect. VII. A Digression in praise of Digressions. Digressions suited to modern palates. A proof of depraved appetites; but necessary for modern writers. Two ways now in use to be book-learned; 1. by learning Titles; 2. by reading Indexes. Advantages of this last: and of Abstracts. The number of writers increasing above the quantity of matter, this ​method becomes necessary and useful. The Reader empowered to transplant this Digression.
Sect. VIII. Tale of a Tub continued. System of the Æolists; they hold wind, or spirit, to be the origin of all things, and to bear a great part in their composition. Of the fourth and fifth animas attributed by them to man. Of their belching, or preaching. Their inspiration from Σκοτία. They use barrels for pulpits. Female officers used for inspiration; and why. The notion opposite to that of a Deity, fittest to form a Devil. Two Devils dreaded by the Æolists. Their relation with a Northern nation. The Author’s respect for this sect.
Sect. IX. Dissertation on Madness. Great conquerors of empires, and founders of sects in philosophy and religion, have generally been persons whose reason was disturbed. A small vapour, mounting to the brain, may occasion great revolutions. Examples; of Henry IV, who made great preparations for war, because of his mistress’s absence; and of Louis XIV, whose great actions concluded in a fistula. Extravagant notions of several great philosophers, how nice to distinguish from madness. Mr. Wotton’s fatal mistake, in misapplying his peculiar talents. Madness the source of conquests and systems. Advantages of fiction and delusion over truth and reality. The outside of things better than the inside. Madness, how useful. A proposal for visiting Bedlam, and employing the divers members in a way useful to the publick.
Sect. X. The Author’s compliments to the Readers. Great civilities practised between the Authors and Readers; and our Author’s thanks to the ​whole nation. How well satisfied Authors and Booksellers are. To what occasions we owe most of the present writings. Of a paltry scribbler, our Author is afraid of; and therefore desires Dr. Bentley's protection. He gives here his whole store at one meal. Usefulness of this treatise to different sorts of Readers; the superficial, the ignorant, and the learned. Proposal for making some ample Commentaries on this work; and of the usefulness of Commentaries for dark writers. Useful hints for the Commentators of this Treatise.
Sect. XI. The Tale of a Tub continued. The Author, not in haste to be at home, shows the difference between a traveller weary or in haste, and another in good plight that takes his pleasure and views every pleasant scene in his way. The sequel of Jack's adventures; his superstitious veneration for the Holy Scripture, and the uses he made of it. His flaming zeal, and blind submission to the Decrees. His harangue for Predestination. He covers roguish tricks with a show of devotion. Affects singularity in manners and speech. His aversion to musick and painting. His discourses provoke sleep. His groaning, and affecting to suffer for the good cause. The great antipathy of Peter and Jack made them both run into extremes, where they often met.
The degenerate ears of this age cannot afford a sufficient handle to hold men by. The senses and passions afford many handles. Curiosity is that by which our Author has held his Readers so long. The rest of this story lost, &c.
​ The Conclusion. Of the proper Seasons for publishing books. Of profound Writers. Of the ghost of Wit. Sleep and the Muses nearly related. Apology for the Author's fits of dulness. Method and Reason the lacquies of Invention. Our Author's great collection of Flowers of little use till now.
A Discourse concerning the Mechanical Operation of the Spirit.
The Author at a loss what title to give this piece, finds after much pains that of A Letter to a Friend to be most in vogue. Of modern excuses for haste and negligence, &c.
Sect. I. Mahomet's fancy of being carried to Heaven by an Ass, followed by many Christians. A great affinity between this creature and man. That talent of bringing his rider to Heaven the subject of this Discourse: but for Ass and Rider the Author uses the synonymous terms of Enlightened Teacher and Fanatic Hearer. A tincture of Enthusiasm runs through all men and all sciences; but prevails most in Religion. Enthusiasm defined and distinguished. That which is Mechanical and Artificial is treated of by our Author. Though Art oftentimes changes into Nature: examples in the Scythian Longheads and English Roundheads. Sense and Reason must be laid aside, to let this Spirit operate. The objections about the manner of the Spirit from above descending upon the Apostles, make not against this Spirit that arises within. The methods by which the Assembly helps to work up this Spirit, jointly with the Preacher.
​Sect. II. How some worship a good Being, others an evil. Most people confound the bounds of good and evil. Vain mortals think the Divinity interested in their meanest actions. The scheme of spiritual mechanism left out. Of the usefulness of quilted night-caps, to keep in the heat, to give motion and vigour to the little animals that compose the brain. Sound of far greater use than sense in the operations of the Spirit, as in Musick. Inward light consists of theological monosyllables and mysterious texts. Of the great force of one vowel in canting; and of blowing the nose, hawking, spitting, and belching. The Author to publish an Essay on the Art of Canting. Of speaking through the nose, or snuffling: its origin from a disease occasioned by a conflict betwixt the Flesh and the Spirit. Inspired vessels, like lanterns, have a sorry sooty outside. Fanaticism deduced from the Ancients, in their Orgies, Bacchanals, &c. Of their great lasciviousness on those occasions. The Fanaticks of the first centuries, and those of later times, generally agree in the same principle, of improving spiritual into carnal ejaculations, &c.
The Battle of the Books.
The Preface informs us, this piece was written in 1697, on account of a famous dispute about Ancient and Modern. Learning, between Sir William Temple and the earl of Orrery on the one side, and Mr. Wotton and Bentley on the other.
War and Invasions generally proceed from the attacks of Want and Poverty upon Plenty and ​Riches. The Moderns quarrel with the Ancients, about the possession of the highest top of Parnassus; and desire them to surrender it, or to let it be levelled. The answer of the Ancients not accepted. A war ensues; in which rivulets of ink are spilt; and both parties hang out their trophies, books of controversy. These books haunted with disorderly spirits; though often bound to the peace in Libraries. The Author's advice in this case neglected; which occasions a terrible fight in St. James's Library. Dr. Bentley, the Library-keeper, a great enemy to the Ancients. The Moderns, finding themselves 50,000 strong, give the Ancients ill language. Temple, a favourite of the Ancients. An incident of a quarrel between a Bee and a Spider; with their arguments on both sides. Æsop applies them to the present dispute. The order of battle of the Moderns, and names of their leaders. The leaders of the Ancients. Jupiter calls a Council of the Gods, and consults the books of Fate; and then sends his orders below. Momus brings the news to Criticism; whose habitation and company is described. She arrives; and sheds her influence on her son Wotton. The battle described. Paracelsus engages Galen; Aristotle aims at Bacon, and kills Descartes; Homer overthrows Gondibert, kills Denham and Wesley, Perrault and ​Fontenelle. Encounter of Virgil and Dryden; of Lucan and Blackmore; of Creech and Horace; of Pindar and Cowley. The episode of Bentley and Wotton. Bentley's armour. His speech to the modern generals. Scaliger's answer. Bentley and Wotton march together. Bentley attacks Phalaris and Æsop. Wotton attacks Temple in vain. Boyle pursues Wotton; and, meeting Bentley in his way, he pursues and kills them both.
* ↑ This celebrated Letter, which was generally supposed to have been written by Dr. Swift; and by him, with as little foundation, ascribed to his friend colonel Hunter; was the production of the noble Author of the "Characteristics;" in which collection it holds the foremost rank. It bears date in September 1707; and was written with a view to the French Prophets, whose enthusiastic extravagances were then at the greatest height.
* ↑ In several parts of the Apology, the Author dwells much on the circumstances of the book having been published, while his original papers were out of his own possession. Three editions were printed in the year 1704; a fourth, corrected, in 1705.
* ↑ Samuel Wesley, rector of Ormesby and Epworth, in Lincolnshire. He died April 25, 1735.
* ↑ Charles Perrault, author of a poem entitled, "Le Siécle de Louis le Grand," in which the modern authors are exalted above the ancient; and of several other curious works. He was born in 1626, and died in 1703. He had three brothers; who were all likewise writers of eminence.
* ↑ The celebrated author of "The Plurality of Worlds;" who died in 1756, when he wanted only a few days of completing his hundredth year.