# Laird of Cool's ghost!

THE
Laird of Cool's
GHOST!
BEING
A Copy of several Conferences and Meetings that
past betwixt the Rev. Mr. Ogilvie, late Minister of
the Gospel at Innerwick in East Lothian, and the
Ghost of Mr. Maxwell, late Laird of Cool.
As it was found in Mr. Ogilvie's closet after his Death, very ſoon after these Conferences.
[WRITTEN BY HIS OWN HAND.]
GLASGOW:
Published by J. Lumsden & Son.
1817
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COPY OF CONFERENCES, &c.
UPON the third of February, 1722, at ſeven o'clock at night, after that I had parted with Thurſton, and coming up the burial-road, one came up riding after me. Upon hearing the noiſe of the horſe's feet, I took it to be Thurſton; but looking back and ſeeing the horſe of grey colour, I called, Who's there? The anſwer was, The Laird of Cool, be not afraid. Looking to him with the little light the moon afforded, I took him to be Collector Caſtlelaw, who had a mind to put a trick upon me, and immediately I ſtruck with all my force with my cane, thinking I would leave a mark upon him that would make him remember his preſumption; but altho' ſenſible I aimed as well as ever I did in my life, yet my cane finding no reſiſtance, but flying out of my hand to the diſtance of ſixty feet, and obſerving it by its white head, I diſmounted and took it up, but had ſome difficulty in mounting again, partly by reaſon of a certain ſort of trembling through my whole joints, ſomething alſo of anger had its ſhare in the confuſion ; for tho' he laughed when my ſtaff flew out of my hand, coming up with him again, (who halted all the time I was ſeeking my ftaff,) I aſked him once more who he was? He anſwered, The Laird of Cool. I enquired, Firſt, If he was the Laird of Cool. Secondly, What brought him
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with me? he anſwered, The reaſon that I want you is, that I know you are diſpoſed to do for me what none of your brethren in Nithſdale will ſo much as attempt, tho' it ſerve never ſo good a purpoſe. I told him, I would never refuſe to do any thing to ſerve a good purpoſe, if I thought I was obliged to do it as my duty. He anſwered, Since I had undertaken what few in Nithſdale would, for he had tried ſeveral perſons on that ſubject, who were mere obliged to him than I was to any perſon living. Upon this I drew my bridle-reins, and talked in ſurpriſe, aſking what I had undertaken? He anſwered, That on Sabbath laſt, I heard you condemned Mr. Paton, and the other Miniſters of Dumfries, for diſſuading Mr. Menzies from keeping his appointment with me ☀; and if you had been in their place, you would have perſuaded the lad to do as I deſired, and that you would have gone with him yourſelf, if he had been afraid; and if you had been in Mr. Paton's place, you would have delivered my commiſſions yourſelf, ſince they tended to do ſeveral perſons juſtice. I aſked him, Pray, Cool, who informed you that I talked at that date? To which he anſwered, You muſt know that we are acquainted with many things that the living know nothing about; theſe things you did ſay, and much more to that purpoſe, and deliver my commiſſions to my loving wife. Upon this I ſaid, 'Tis a pity, Cool,
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that you who know ſo many things, ſhould not know the difference between an abſolute and conditional promiſe; I did indeed, at the time you mention, blame Mr. Paton, for I thought him juſtly blameable, in hindering the lad to meet with you, and if I had been in his place, I would have acted quite the reverſe; but I did never ſay, that if you would come to Innerwick and employ me, that I would go all the way to Dumfries on ſuch an ertand, that is what never ſo much as entered into my thoughts. He anſwered, what were your thoughts, I don't pretend to know, but I can depend on my information that theſe were your words; but I ſee you are in ſome diſorder, I will wait upon you when you have more preſence of mind.
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Upon the fifth of March, 1722, being at Hare-head, baptizing the ſhepherd's child, I came off at ſun-ſetting, or a little after, and near William White's march, the Laird of Cool came up with me as formerly; and after his firſt ſalutation, bade me not be afraid. I told him, I was not in the leaſt afraid, in the name of GOD, and Chriſt my Saviour, that he would do me the leaſt harm; for I knew that he in whom I truſted, was ſtronger than all they put together; and if any of them ſhould attempt to do, even to the horſe that I ride upon, as you have done to Doctor Menzie's man, if it be true that is ſaid, and generally believed about Dumfries, I have free acceſs to complain to my Lord and Maſter, to the laſh of whoſe reſentment you are liable now as before ☀.
Cool. You need not multiply words upon that head, for you are as ſafe with me, and ſafer, if ſafer can be, than when I was alive.
Ogil. Well then, Cool, let me have a peaceable and eaſy converſation with you for
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the time we ride together, and give me ſome information about the affairs of the other world, for no man inclines to loſe his time in converſing with the dead, without hearing or learning ſomething that's uſeful.
Cool. Well, Sir, I will ſatisfy you as far as I think it proper and convenient. Let me know what information you want to know.
Ogil. May I then aſk you, if you be in a ſtate of happineſs or not?
Cool. There are a great many things I can anſwer, that the living are quite ignorant of there are a great many things that, notwithſtanding the additional knowledge I have acquired ſince my death, that I cannot anſwer; and there are a great many queſtions and things that you may ſtart, of which the laſt is one, that I will not anſwer.
Ogil. Then I know how to manage our converſation; for whatever I ſhall enquire of you I ſee you can eaſily ſhift me; ſo that I might profit more by converſing with myſelf.
Cool. You may try.
Ogil. Well, then, what ſort of a body is that you appear in; and what ſort of a horſe is that upon, which appears to be ſo full of metal?
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before you can ride twice the length of your horſe, nay, if I have a mind to go to London, or Jeruſalem, or to the moon, if you pleaſe, I can perform all theſe journies equally ſoon, for it coſts me nothing but a thought or wiſh; for this body is as fleet as your thought, for in the moment of time you can turn your thoughts on Rome, I can go there in perſon: and as for my horſe, he is much like myſelf, for he is Andrew Johnſton, my tenant, who, died forty-eight hours before me.
Ogil So it ſeems when Andrew Johnſton inclines to ride, you muſt ſerve him in the quality of an horſe, as he does you now.
Cool. You are miſtaken.
Ogil. I thought that all diſtinctions between miſtreſſes and maids, lairds and tenants, had been done away at death.
Cool. True it is, but you do not take up the matter.
Ogil. This is one of the queſtions you won't anſwer.
Cool. You are miſtaken, for that queſtion can anſwer and after you may underſtand it.
Ogil. Well then, Cool, have you never yet appeared before God, nor received any ſentence from him as a Judge.
Cool. Never yet.
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Cool. No ſuch thing, no ſuch thing! No trial, no trial till the great day! the heaven which good men enjoy after death, conſiſts only in the ſerenity of their minds, and the ſatisfaction of a good conſcience; and the certain hopes they have of eternal joy, when that day ſhall come. The puniſhment, or hell of the wicked immediately after death, conſiſts in the dreadful ſtings of an awakened conſcience, and the terrors of facing the great Judge! and the ſenſible apprehenſions of eternal torments enſuing! And this bears ſtill a due proportion to the evils they did when living. So indeed the ſtate of ſome good folks differ but little in happinefs from what they enjoyed in the world, ſave only that they are free from the body, and the ſins and ſorrows that attended it. On the other hand, there are ſome who may be ſaid rather not to have been good, than that they are wicked, while living, their ſtate is not eaſily diſtinguiſhed from that of the former : And under that claſs comes a great heed of ſouls; a vaſt number of ignorant people. who have not much minded the affairs of eternity, but at the ſame time have lived in much indolence, ignorance, and innocence.
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knowledge of theſe things might have been eaſily attained.
Cool. They never properly rejected the terms of ſalvation; they never, ſtrictly ſpeaking, rejected Chriſt; poor ſouls, they had as great a liking both to him and heaven, as their grofs imaginations were capable of: impartial reaſon muſt make many allowances, as the ſtupidity of their parents, want of education, diſtance from people of good ſenſe and knowledge, and the uninterrupted application they were obliged to give to their ſecular affairs for their daily bread, the impious treachery of their paſtors, who perſuaded them that if they were of ſuch a party fall was well, and many other conſiderations, which God, who is pure and perfect reaſon itſelf, will not overlook: theſe are not ſo much under the load of divine diſpleaſure, as they are out of his grace and favour; and you know it is one thing to be diſcouraged, and quite another thing to be perſecuted with all the power and rage of an incenſed earthly king. I aſſure you men's faces are not more various and different in the world, than their circumſtances are after death.
Ogil I am loth to believe all that you have ſaid at this time, Cool, (but I will not diſpute thoſe matters with you, becauſe ſome
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the one was immediately after death carried up by the angels to Abraham's boſom, and the other immediately thruſt down to hell.
Cool. Excuſe me, Sir, that does not contradict one word that I have ſaid, but you ſeem not to underſtand the parable, whoſe only end is to illuſtrate the truth, that a man may be very happy and flouriſhing in this world, and moſt wretched and miſerable in the next; and that a man may be miſerable in this world, and more happy and glorious in the next.
Ogil. Be it ſo, Cool, I ſhall yield that point to you and paſs to another, which has afforded me much ſpeculation ſince our laſt encounter; and that is, How you care to know that I talked after the manner that I did concerning Mr. Paton, on the firſt Sabbath of Feuruary laſt : Was you preſent with me, but inviſible? He anſwered very haughtily, No, Sir, I was not preſent myſelf. I anſwered, I would not have you angry, Cool; I propoſed this queſtion for my own ſatisfaction, but if you don't think proper to anſwer, let it paſs. After he had pauſed, with his eyes on the ground, for three or four minutes of time at moſt, with ſome haſte and ſeeming chearfulneſs, ſays,
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men departed are employed in that errand.
Ogil. And do you not think that every man has a good angel?
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Ogil. I read that there are ten thouſand times ten thouſand of angels that wait upon God, and ſing his praiſe, and do his will, and I cannot underhand how the good angels can be inferior in number to the evil.
Cool. Did not I ſay, that whatever the number be, the ſpirits departed are employed in the ſame buſinefs; ſo that as to the number of original deities, whereof Satan is chief, I cannot determine, but you need not doubt but there are more ſouls departed in that place, which in a looſe ſenſe you call hell, by almoſt an infinity than what are gone to that place, which in a like ſenſe you call heaven, which likewiſe are employed in the ſame purpoſe: and I can aſſure you by the bye, that there in as great a difference between angels, both good and bad, as there is among men, with reſpect to their ſenſe, knowledge, cunning, cleverneſs, and action; nay, which is more, the departed ſouls on both ſides outdo ſeverals, from their very firſt departure, of the original angels. This you will perhaps think a paradox, but it is true.
Ogil. I do not doubt it, but what is that to my queſtion, about which I am ſolicitous ?
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kingdoms, not to mention particular perſons, villages, and families, and all that is tranſacted in theſe ſeveral parts of the country, are there made open; and at their re-encounter on each ſide, every thing is told, as in your pariſh, in milns, kilns, and ſmithies, only with this difference, that many things, falſe are talked at the living re-encounters, but nothing but what is exact truth, is ſaid or told among the dead; only I muſt obſerve to you, that, as I am credibly informed, ſeveral of the inferior bad angels, and ſouls of wicked men departed, have told many things that they have done, and then when a more intelligent ſpirit is ſent out upon enquiry, and the report of the former ſeeming doubtful, he brings in a contrary report, and makes it appear truth, the former fares very ill: nevertheleſs their regard to truth prevents it; for while they obſerve the truth, they do their buſineſs and keep their ſtation, for God is truth.
Ogil. So much truth being among the good angels, I am apt to think that lies and falſehood will be as much in vogue among the bad.
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in admitting report he muſt tell the truth, or woe be to him. But beſides their monthly, quarterly, or yearly meetings, or whatever they be, departed ſouls acquainted, may take a trip to ſee one another yearly, weekly, daily, or oftener if they pleaſe. Thus then I anſwer your queſtion that you was ſo much concerned about; for my information was from no leſs than three perfons, viz. Andrew Aikman, who attends Thurſton's family; James Corbat, who waits upon Mr. Paton; for at that time he was then looking after Mrs. Sarah Paton, who was at your houſe; and an original emiſſary appointed to wait upon yours.
At this I was much ſurprized, and after a little thinking, I aſked him, And is there really, Cool, an emiſſary from hell, in whatever ſenſe you take it, that attends my family?
Cool. You may depend upon it.
Ogil. And what do you think is his buſineſs?
Cool. To divert you from your duty, and cauſe you to do as many ill things as you can; for much depends on having the miniſter on their ſide.
Upon this I was ſtruck with a ſort of terror, which I cannot account for, nor expreſs!———In the mean time he ſaid ſeveral things I didnot underſtand. But after a little, I coming to my former preſence of mind, ſaid,
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Cool. Juſt as ſure as you are breathing, but be not ſo much dejected upon this information, for I tell you likewiſe, that there is a good angel who attends you, who is ſtronger than the other.
Ogil. Are you ſure of that, Cool?
Cool. Yes, there is one riding on your right hand, who might as well have been elſewhere, for I meant you no harm.
Ogil. And how long has he been with me?
Cool. Only ſince we paſſed Brand's-lee but now he is gone.
Ogil. We are juſt upon Elenſelugh, and I deſire to part with you, tho' perhaps I have gained more by converſation than I could have done otherwiſe in a twelvemonth; I chuſe rather to ſee you another time, when you're at leiſure; and I wiſh it were at as great a diſtance from Innerwick as you can.
Cool. Be it ſo, Sir ; but I hope you will be ſo obliging to me, next re-encounter, as I have been to you this.
Ogil. I promiſe you I will, as far as is conſiſtent with my duty to my Lord and Maſter Chriſt Jeſus: And ſince you have obliged me ſo much by information, I will anſwer all the queſtions you propoſe, as far as conſiſts with my knowledge; but I believe you want no information from me
Cool. I came not here to be inſtructed, by you, but I want your help of another kind.
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with me on horſeback, at the foot of the ruinous incloſure, before we come to Dod: I told him his laſt converſation had proved ſo acceptable to me, that I was well pleaſed to ſee him again; and that there was a vaſt number of things that I wanted to inform myſelf further of, if he would be ſo good as to ſatisfy me.
Cool. Laſt time we met, I refuſed you nothing you aſked; and now I expect that you ſhall refuſe me nothing that I ſhall aſk.
Ogil. Nothing, Sir, that is in my power, or that I can do with ſafety to my reputation and character. What then are your demands?
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a diſcharge for 200l. Scots that I was owing to your father-in-law, and his own friend Mr. Muirhead, which diſcharge I gave to John Ewart, when he deſired the money; and he, at my deſire, produced it to you, which you ſuſtained.
A great many of the like inſtances were told, of which I cannot remember the perſons' names and things; but, ſays he, what vexes me more than all theſe, is the injuſtice I did to Homer Maxwell, tenant to my Lord Nithſdale, for whom I was factor. I borrowed 2000 merks from him, 500 of which he borrowed from another hand: I gave him my bond, and, for reaſons I contrived, I obliged him to ſecrecy: He died within the year, and left nine children, and his wife had died before himſelf. I came to ſeal up his paper's for my Lord's ſecurity; his eldeſt daughter intreated me to look thro' them all, and to give her an account what was their ſtock, and what was their debt. I very willingly undertook it, and in going through the papers I put my own bond in my pocket. His circumſtances proving bad, his nine childring are now ſtarving. Theſe things I deſire you to repreſent to my wife; and take her brother with you, and let them be immediately rectified, for ſhe has a ſufficient fund to do it upon; and if it were done, I think I would be eaſy and happy; therefore I hope you will make no delay.
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good errand, Cool, you are ſending me to do juſtice to the oppreſſed and injured; but notwithſtanding that I ſee myſelf come in for 200l. Scots, yet I begged a little time to conſider the matter And ſince I find you are as much maſter of reaſon now as ever, and more than ever, I will reaſon upon the matter in its general view, and then with reſpect to the expediency of my being the meſſenger; and this I will do with all manner of frankneſs. From what you have ſaid, I ſee clearly what your preſent condition is, ſo that I need not aſk any more queſtions upon that head; and you need not bid me take courage and not be afraid of you, for at this moment I am no more afraid of you than a new-born child.
Cool. Well, ſay on.
Ogil. Tell me then, ſince ſuch is your ability that you can fly a thouſand miles in the twinkling of an eye, if your deſire to do the oppreſſed juſtice, be as great as you pretend, what's the reaſon you don't fly to the coffers of fome rich Jew or Banker where are thouſands of gold and ſilver, inviſibly lift and inviſibly return it to the coffers of the injured? And ſince your wife has ſufficient fund, and more, why cannot you empty her purſe, inviſibly, to make theſe people amends?
Cool. Becauſe I cannot.
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people, yet the guilt of the baſe action always remains upon you.
Cool Now you think you have ſilenced me and gained a noble victory; but I will ſhow you your miſtake immediately; for I cannot touch any gold or money, by reaſon of theſe ſpirits that are ſtated guardians of juſtice and honeſty.
Ogil. What is that you tell me, Cool? Do not unworthy fellows break houſes, every night, and yet you, that can put yourſelf into ſo many hundred different ſhapes in a moment, cannot do it: What is that you tell me, Cool?
Cool. 'Tis true, Sir, againſt the living, men may find out ſome probable means of ſecuring themſelves; but if ſpirits departed were allowed, then no man would be ſecure; for, in that caſe, every man that I had a prejudice at, would ſoon be beggared.
Ogil. Might you not go to the mines of Mexico and Peru, where thoſe little ſums would not be miſſed?
Cool. No, Sir, for the ſame reaſon.
Ogil. But, Cool, there is ſo much treaſure loſt in the ſea, you may eaſily dive into the bottom of it, ſearch that, and refund thoſe people their loſſes, where no man is injured.
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ſpirits, good nor bad, had the power to take any money or gold; the good never do, tho' the bad, if once in an age, it is no ſmall quarrel: for if it were allowed them, then they would be very ſucceſsful in their buſineſs, and never fail in gaining their points.
Ogil. What hinders them, Cool?
Cool. Superior power, that governs and guards all.
Ogil. You have ſatisfied me entirely upon that head. But pray, Cool, what is the reaſon that you cannot go to your wife yourſelf, and tell her what you have a mind; I ſhould think this a more ſure way to gain your point.
Cool. Becauſe I will not.
Ogil. That is not an anſwer to me, Cool.
Cool. That is one of the queſtions that I told you long ago I would not anſwer; but if you go as I deſire, I promiſe to give you full ſatisfaction after you have done your buſineſs. Truſt me for once, and believe me I will not diſappoint you.
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I told him that the liſt of his grievances were ſo great, that I could not poſſibly remember them without being put in writing; and that I wanted nothing but reaſon to determine me in that and all other affairs of my life.——— I know, ſaid he, that is a mere evaſion; but tell me if the Laird of Thurſton will do it? I am ſure, ſaid I, he will not: And if he ſhould, I would do all that I could to hinder him; for I think he has as little concern in theſe matters as myſelf. But tell me, Cool, is it not as eaſy to write your ſtory as tell it, or ride on what-do-ye-call him? for I have forgot your horſe's name?
Cool. No, Sir, it is not; and perhaps I may convince you of the reaſonableneſs of it afterwards.
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the devil had ſpoken with me; and why ſhould I repeat theſe things for truth, which he that was a liar from the beginning, had told me: C———p———l and B———r H———rie would be upon me, and purſue me before the Commiſſary; and every body would look upon me as brain-ſick or mad: Therefore I intreat you to not inſiſt upon ſending me ſo a ridiculous an errand. The reaſonableneſs of my demands to leave to your own confideration, as you did your former to mine. But dropping the matter till our next interview, gave me leave to enter upon ſome more diverting ſubject; ſad I do not know, Cool, but the information you have given, may do as much ſervice to mankind, as the redreſs of all theſe grievances would amount to.
[Mr. OGILVIE died very ſoon after.]
FINIS.
In the Arminian Magazine for 1785 (in addition to what is mentioned in the bottom of p. 5.) Dr. Hamilton says, “The enſuing relation of what followed,” (viz. An account of the Conferences,) “ wrote in Mr. O.'s
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A
Wonderful Story,
From a BOOK, Intitled,
Visits from the World of Spirits
A Clergyman, who lived in the Maſſachuſetts, and had entertained an opinion for more than fifty years, that ſuch ſtories were only the vapours of diſtempered and weak brains, was convinced at laſt in the following manner: Being in his own garden he ſaw his own likeneſs or apparition; dreſſed juſt as he then was, paſs by him, and look him full in the face. He ran into the houſe in a great ſurpriſe, told his family what I had ſeen, that he was convinced of his former error, and that he feared he ſhould live but a few days. His words proved true, for he died in a ſhort time after.
FINIS
This work was published before January 1, 1929, and is in the public domain worldwide because the author died at least 100 years ago.
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