# The History of the Adventures of Joseph Andrews and his Friend, Mr. Abraham Abrams/Book IV, Chapter XI

CHAPTER XI.
_In which the history is continued._
Joseph Andrews had borne with great uneasiness the impertinence of beau
Didapper to Fanny, who had been talking pretty freely to her, and
offering her settlements; but the respect to the company had restrained
him from interfering whilst the beau confined himself to the use of his
tongue only; but the said beau, watching an opportunity whilst the
ladies' eyes were disposed another way, offered a rudeness to her with
his hands; which Joseph no sooner perceived than he presented him with
so sound a box on the ear, that it conveyed him several paces from where
he stood. The ladies immediately screamed out, rose from their chairs;
and the beau, as soon as he recovered himself, drew his hanger: which
Adams observing, snatched up the lid of a pot in his left hand, and,
covering himself with it as with a shield, without any weapon of offence
in his other hand, stept in before Joseph, and exposed himself to the
enraged beau, who threatened such perdition and destruction, that it
frighted the women, who were all got in a huddle together, out of their
wits, even to hear his denunciations of vengeance. Joseph was of a
different complexion, and begged Adams to let his rival come on; for he
had a good cudgel in his hand, and did not fear him. Fanny now fainted
into Mrs Adams's arms, and the whole room was in confusion, when Mr
Booby, passing by Adams, who lay snug under the pot-lid, came up to
Didapper, and insisted on his sheathing the hanger, promising he should
have satisfaction; which Joseph declared he would give him, and fight
him at any weapon whatever. The beau now sheathed his hanger, and taking
out a pocket-glass, and vowing vengeance all the time, re-adjusted his
hair; the parson deposited his shield; and Joseph, running to Fanny,
soon brought her back to life. Lady Booby chid Joseph for his insult on
Didapper; but he answered, he would have attacked an army in the same
cause. "What cause?" said the lady. "Madam," answered Joseph, "he was
rude to that young woman."--"What," says the lady, "I suppose he would
have kissed the wench; and is a gentleman to be struck for such an
offer? I must tell you, Joseph, these airs do not become you."--"Madam,"
said Mr Booby, "I saw the whole affair, and I do not commend my brother;
for I cannot perceive why he should take upon him to be this girl's
champion."--"I can commend him," says Adams: "he is a brave lad; and it
becomes any man to be the champion of the innocent; and he must be the
basest coward who would not vindicate a woman with whom he is on the
brink of marriage."--"Sir," says Mr Booby, "my brother is not a proper
match for such a young woman as this."--"No," says Lady Booby; "nor do
you, Mr Adams, act in your proper character by encouraging any such
doings; and I am very much surprized you should concern yourself in it.
I think your wife and family your properer care."--"Indeed, madam, your
ladyship says very true," answered Mrs Adams: "he talks a pack of
nonsense, that the whole parish are his children. I am sure I don't
understand what he means by it; it would make some women suspect he had
gone astray, but I acquit him of that; I can read Scripture as well as
he, and I never found that the parson was obliged to provide for other
folks' children; and besides, he is but a poor curate, and hath little
enough, as your ladyship knows, for me and mine."--"You say very well,
Mrs Adams," quoth the Lady Booby, who had not spoke a word to her before;
"you seem to be a very sensible woman; and I assure you, your husband is
acting a very foolish part, and opposing his own interest, seeing my
nephew is violently set against this match: and indeed I can't blame
him; it is by no means one suitable to our family." In this manner the
lady proceeded with Mrs Adams, whilst the beau hopped about the room,
shaking his head, partly from pain and partly from anger; and Pamela was
chiding Fanny for her assurance in aiming at such a match as her
brother. Poor Fanny answered only with her tears, which had long since
begun to wet her handkerchief; which Joseph perceiving, took her by the
arm, and wrapping it in his carried her off, swearing he would own no
relation to any one who was an enemy to her he loved more than all the
world. He went out with Fanny under his left arm, brandishing a cudgel
in his right, and neither Mr Booby nor the beau thought proper to oppose
him. Lady Booby and her company made a very short stay behind him; for
the lady's bell now summoned them to dress; for which they had just time
before dinner.
Adams seemed now very much dejected, which his wife perceiving, began to
apply some matrimonial balsam. She told him he had reason to be
concerned, for that he had probably ruined his family with his tricks
almost; but perhaps he was grieved for the loss of his two children,
Joseph and Fanny. His eldest daughter went on: "Indeed, father, it is
very hard to bring strangers here to eat your children's bread out of
their mouths. You have kept them ever since they came home; and, for
anything I see to the contrary, may keep them a month longer; are you
obliged to give her meat, tho'f she was never so handsome? But I don't
see she is so much handsomer than other people. If people were to be
kept for their beauty, she would scarce fare better than her neighbours,
I believe. As for Mr Joseph, I have nothing to say; he is a young man of
honest principles, and will pay some time or other for what he hath; but
for the girl--why doth she not return to her place she ran away from? I
would not give such a vagabond slut a halfpenny though I had a million
of money; no, though she was starving." "Indeed but I would," cries
little Dick; "and, father, rather than poor Fanny shall be starved, I
will give her all this bread and cheese"--(offering what he held in his
hand). Adams smiled on the boy, and told him he rejoiced to see he was a
Christian; and that if he had a halfpenny in his pocket, he would have
given it him; telling him it was his duty to look upon all his
neighbours as his brothers and sisters, and love them accordingly. "Yes,
papa," says he, "I love her better than my sisters, for she is handsomer
than any of them." "Is she so, saucebox?" says the sister, giving him a
box on the ear; which the father would probably have resented, had not
Joseph, Fanny, and the pedlar at that instant returned together. Adams
bid his wife prepare some food for their dinner; she said, "Truly she
could not, she had something else to do." Adams rebuked her for
disputing his commands, and quoted many texts of Scripture to prove
"That the husband is the head of the wife, and she is to submit and
obey." The wife answered, "It was blasphemy to talk Scripture out of
church; that such things were very proper to be said in the pulpit, but
that it was profane to talk them in common discourse." Joseph told Mr
Adams "He was not come with any design to give him or Mrs Adams any
trouble; but to desire the favour of all their company to the George (an
ale-house in the parish), where he had bespoke a piece of bacon and
greens for their dinner." Mrs Adams, who was a very good sort of woman,
only rather too strict in oeconomies, readily accepted this invitation,
as did the parson himself by her example; and away they all walked
together, not omitting little Dick, to whom Joseph gave a shilling when
he heard of his intended liberality to Fanny.