# Tales from the Arabic/The Eighth Officer’s Story

Second-level story, contained in El Melik ez Zahir Rukneddin Bibers el Bunducdari and the Sixteen Officers of Police. Contains The Thief’s Story
THE EIGHTH OFFICER’S STORY.
A friend of mine once invited me to an entertainment; so I went with him, and when we came into his house and sat down on his couch, he said to me, “This is a blessed day and a day of gladness, and [blessed is] he who liveth to [see] the like of this day. I desire that thou practise with us and deny us not, for that thou hast been used to hearken unto those who occupy themselves with this.” I fell in with this and their talk happened upon the like of this subject. Presently, my friend, who had invited me, arose from among them and said to them, “Hearken to me and I will tell you of an adventure that happened to me. There was a certain man who used to visit me in my shop, and I knew him not nor he me, nor ever in his life had he seen me; but he was wont, whenever he had need of a dirhem or two, by way of loan, to come to me and ask me, without acquaintance or intermediary between me and him, [and I would give him what he sought]. I told none of him, and matters abode thus between ​us a long while, till he fell to borrowing ten at twenty dirhems [at a time], more or less.
One day, as I stood in my shop, there came up to me a woman and stopped before me; and she as she were the full moon rising from among the stars, and the place was illumined by her light. When I saw her, I fixed my eyes on her and stared in her face; and she bespoke me with soft speech. When I heard her words and the sweetness of her speech, I lusted after her; and when she saw that I lusted after her, she did her occasion and promising me [to come again], went away, leaving my mind occupied with her and fire kindled in my heart. Then I abode, perplexed and pondering my affair, whilst fire flamed in my heart, till the third day, when she came again and I scarce credited her coming. When I saw her, I talked with her and cajoled her and courted her and strove to win her favour with speech and invited her [to my house]; but she answered, saying, ‘I will not go up into any one’s house.’ Quoth I, ‘I will go with thee;’ and she said, ‘Arise and come with me.’
So I arose and putting in my sleeve a handkerchief, wherein was a good sum of money, followed the woman, who went on before me and gave not over walking till she brought me to a by-street and to a door, which she bade me open. I refused and she opened it and brought me into the vestibule. As soon as I had entered, she locked the door of entrance from within and said to me, ‘Sit [here] till I go in to the slave-girls and cause them enter a place where they shall not see me.’ ‘It is well,’ answered I and sat down; whereupon she ​entered and was absent from me a moment, after which she returned to me, without a veil, and said, ‘Arise, [enter,] in the name of God.’ So I arose and went in after her and we gave not over going till we entered a saloon. When I examined the place, I found it neither handsome nor agreeable, but unseemly and desolate, without symmetry or cleanliness; nay, it was loathly to look upon and there was a foul smell in it.
I seated myself amiddleward the saloon, misdoubting, and as I sat, there came down on me from the estrade seven naked men, without other clothing than leather girdles about their waists. One of them came up to me and took my turban, whilst another took my handkerchief, that was in my sleeve, with my money, and a third stripped me of my clothes; after which a fourth came and bound my hands behind me with his girdle. Then they all took me up, pinioned as I was, and casting me down, fell a-dragging me towards a sink-hole that was there and were about to cut my throat, when, behold, there came a violent knocking at the door. When they heard this, they were afraid and their minds were diverted from me by fear; so the woman went out and presently returning, said to them, ‘Fear not; no harm shall betide you this day. It is only your comrade who hath brought you your noon-meal.’ With this the new-comer entered, bringing with him a roasted lamb; and when he came in to them, he said to them, ‘What is to do with you, that ye have tucked up [your sleeves ​and trousers]?’ Quoth they, ‘[This is] a piece of game we have caught.’
When he heard this, he came up to me and looking in my face, cried out and said, ‘By Allah, this is my brother, the son of my mother and father! Allah! Allah!’ Then he loosed me from my bonds and kissed my head, and behold it was my friend who used to borrow money of me. When I kissed his head, he kissed mine and said, ‘O my brother, be not affrighted.’ Then he called for my clothes [and money and restored to me all that had been taken from me] nor was aught missing to me. Moreover, he brought me a bowl full of [sherbet of] sugar, with lemons therein, and gave me to drink thereof; and the company came and seated me at a table. So I ate with them and he said to me, ‘O my lord and my brother, now have bread and salt passed between us and thou hast discovered our secret and [become acquainted with] our case; but secrets [are safe] with the noble.’ Quoth I, ‘As I am a lawfully-begotten child, I will not name aught [of this] neither denounce [you!]’ And they assured themselves of me by an oath. Then they brought me out and I went my way, scarce crediting but that I was of the dead.
I abode in my house, ill, a whole month; after which I went to the bath and coming out, opened my shop [and sat selling and buying as usual], but saw no more of the man or the woman, till, one day, there stopped before my shop a young man, [a Turcoman], as he were the full moon; and he was a sheep-merchant and had with him a bag, wherein was money, the price of sheep that ​he had sold. He was followed by the woman, and when he stopped at my shop, she stood by his side and cajoled him, and indeed he inclined to her with a great inclination. As for me, I was consumed with solicitude for him and fell to casting furtive glances at him and winked at him, till he chanced to look round and saw me winking at him; whereupon the woman looked at me and made a sign with her hand and went away. The Turcoman followed her and I counted him dead, without recourse; wherefore I feared with an exceeding fear and shut my shop. Then I journeyed for a year’s space and returning, opened my shop; whereupon, behold, the woman came up to me and said, ‘This is none other than a great absence.’ Quoth I, ‘I have been on a journey;’ and she said, ‘Why didst thou wink at the Turcoman?’ ‘God forbid!’ answered I. ‘I did not wink at him.’ Quoth she, ‘Beware lest thou cross me;’ and went away.
Awhile after this a friend of mine invited me to his house and when I came to him, we ate and drank and talked. Then said he to me, ‘O my friend, hath there befallen thee in thy life aught of calamity?’ ‘Nay,’ answered I; ‘but tell me [first], hath there befallen thee aught?’ [‘Yes,’] answered he. ‘Know that one day I espied a fair woman; so I followed her and invited her [to come home with me]. Quoth she, “I will not enter any one’s house; but come thou to my house, if thou wilt, and be it on such a day.” Accordingly, on the appointed day, her messenger came to me, purposing to carry me to her; so I arose and went with him, till ​we came to a handsome house and a great door. He opened the door and I entered, whereupon he locked the door [behind me] and would have gone in, but I feared with an exceeding fear and foregoing him to the second door, whereby he would have had me enter, locked it and cried out at him, saying, “By Allah, an thou open not to me, I will kill thee; for I am none of those whom thou canst cozen!” Quoth he, “What deemest thou of cozenage?” And I said, “Verily, I am affrighted at the loneliness of the house and the lack of any at the door thereof; for I see none appear.” “O my lord,” answered he, “this is a privy door.” “Privy or public,” answered I, “open to me.”
So he opened to me and I went out and had not gone far from the house when I met a woman, who said to me, “Methinks a long life was fore-ordained to thee; else hadst thou not come forth of yonder house.” “How so?” asked I, and she answered, “Ask thy friend [such an one,” naming thee,] “and he will acquaint thee with strange things.” So, God on thee, O my friend, tell me what befell thee of wonders and rarities, for I have told thee what befell me.’ ‘O my brother,’ answered I, ‘I am bound by a solemn oath.’ And he said, ‘O my friend, break thine oath and tell me.’ Quoth I, ‘Indeed, I fear the issue of this.’ [But he importuned me] till I told him all, whereat he marvelled. Then I went away from him and abode a long while, [without farther news].
One day, another of my friends came to me and said, ‘A neighbour of mine hath invited me to hear [music]. ​[And he would have me go with him;] but I said, ‘I will not foregather with any one.’ However, he prevailed upon me [to accompany him]; so we repaired to the place and found there a man, who came to meet us and said, ‘[Enter,] in the name of God!’ Then he pulled out a key and opened the door, whereupon we entered and he locked the door after us. Quoth I, ‘We are the first of the folk; but where are their voices?’ ‘[They are] within the house,’ answered he. ‘This is but a privy door; so be not amazed at the absence of the folk.’ And my friend said to me, ‘Behold, we are two, and what can they avail to do with us?’ [Then he brought us into the house,] and when we entered the saloon, we found it exceeding desolate and repulsive of aspect. Quoth my friend, ‘We are fallen [into a trap]; but there is no power and no virtue save in God the Most High, the Supreme!’ And I said, ‘May God not requite thee for me with good!’
Then we sat down on the edge of the estrade and presently I espied a closet beside me; so I looked into it and my friend said to me, ‘What seest thou?’ Quoth I, ‘I see therein good galore and bodies of murdered folk. Look.’ So he looked and said, ‘By Allah, we are lost men!’ And we fell a-weeping, I and he. As we were thus, behold, there came in upon us, by the door at which we had entered, four naked men, with girdles of leather about their middles, and made for my friend. He ran at them and dealing one of them a ​buffet, overthrew him, whereupon the other three fell all upon him. I seized the opportunity to escape, what while they were occupied with him, and espying a door by my side, slipped into it and found myself in an underground chamber, without window or other issue. So I gave myself up for lost and said, ‘There is no power and no virtue save in God the Most High, the Supreme!’ Then I looked to the top of the vault and saw in it a range of glazed lunettes; so I clambered up for dear life, till I reached the lunettes, and I distracted [for fear]. I made shift to break the glass and scrambling out through the frames, found a wall behind them. So I bestrode the wall and saw folk walking in the road; whereupon I cast myself down to the ground and God the Most High preserved me, so that I reached the earth, unhurt. The folk flocked round me and I acquainted them with my story.
As fate would have it, the chief of the police was passing through the market; so the people told him [what was to do] and he made for the door and burst it open. We entered with a rush and found the thieves, as they had overthrown my friend and cut his throat; for they occupied not themselves with me, but said, ‘Whither shall yonder fellow go? Indeed, he is in our grasp.’ So the prefect took them with the hand and questioned them, and they confessed against the woman and against their associates in Cairo. Then he took them and went forth, after he had locked up the house and sealed it; and I accompanied him till he came ​without the [first] house. He found the door locked from within; so he bade break it open and we entered and found another door. This also he caused burst in, enjoining his men to silence till the doors should be opened, and we entered and found the band occupied with a new victim, whom the woman had just brought in and whose throat they were about to cut.
The prefect released the man and gave him back all that the thieves had taken from him; and he laid hands on the woman and the rest and took forth of the house treasures galore. Amongst the rest, they found the money-bag of the Turcoman sheep-merchant. The thieves they nailed up incontinent against the wall of the house, whilst, as for the woman, they wrapped her in one of her veils and nailing her [to a board, set her] upon a camel and went round about the town with her. Thus God razed their dwelling-places and did away from me that which I feared. All this befell, whilst I looked on, and I saw not my friend who had saved me from them the first time, whereat I marvelled to the utterest of marvel. However, some days afterward, he came up to me, and indeed he had renounced [the world] and donned a fakir’s habit; and he saluted me and went away.
Then he again began to pay me frequent visits and I entered into converse with him and questioned him of the band and how he came to escape, he alone of them all. Quoth he, ‘I left them from the day on which God the Most High delivered thee from them, ​for that they would not obey my speech; wherefore I swore that I would no longer consort with them.’ And I said, ‘By Allah, I marvel at thee, for that thou wast the cause of my preservation!’ Quoth he, ‘The world is full of this sort [of folk]; and we beseech God the Most High for safety, for that these [wretches] practise upon men with every kind of device.’ Then said I to him, ‘Tell me the most extraordinary adventure of all that befell thee in this villainy thou wast wont to practise.’ And he answered, saying, ‘O my brother, I was not present when they did on this wise, for that my part with them was to concern myself with selling and buying and [providing them with] food; but I have heard that the most extraordinary thing that befell them was on this wise.
* ↑ or disapprove of.
* ↑ This passage is unintelligible; the text is here again, to all appearance, corrupt.
* ↑ i.e. women’s tricks?
* ↑ Muslim formula of invitation.
* ↑ i.e. the singers?
* ↑ i.e. easily.
* ↑ Or made a show of renouncing.
    The Thief’s Story.
Return to El Melik ez Zahir Rukneddin Bibers el Bunducdari and the Sixteen Officers of Police.
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