# Confessions of a Thug/Vol 1/Chapter 3

CHAPTER III.
"Falstaff.—He's no swaggerer, hostess; a tame cheater he; you may stroke him as gently as a puppy greyhound. He will not swagger with a Barbary hen if her feathers turn back in any show of resistance."—2nd Part of King Henry IV., act ii. scene 4.
"My father," said I, "you need say no more, I am yours, do as you will with me; long ere I heard this history from you, I had overheard a conversation between Hoosein, yourself, and some others, regarding me, which has caused me great unhappiness; for I feared I was not thought worthy of your confidence, and it weighed heavily upon my mind. That was in fact the cause of the sorrow and heaviness you have remarked, and I longed for an opportunity to throw open my heart to you, and to implore of you to receive me among you. I am ​no longer a child, and your history has opened to me new feelings which are at present too vague for me to describe; but I long to win fame as you have done, and long to become a member of the profession in which you describe true faith and brotherhood alone to exist. As yet I have seen nothing of the false world, and assuredly what you have said makes me still less inclined to follow any calling which would lead me to connection with it. Heartless and depraved I have heard it to be from others besides yourself, and I feel as though I were chosen by Alla to win renown; it can only be gained by treading in your footsteps, and behold me ready to follow you whithersoever you will lead me. I have no friend but yourself, no acquaintance even have I ever formed among the youths of the village; for when I saw them following what their fathers had done, and what appeared to me low and pitiful pursuits, my spirits rose against them, and I have cast them off. My only friend is the old Moola, who would fain persuade me to become one like himself, and spend my days reading the Koran; but there is nothing stirring in his profession, though it is a holy one, and it consequently holds out no inducements to me, or any hope of gratifying ​the thirst for active employment which is consuming me. I have wished to become a soldier, and to enter one of the bands in the service of Sindea to fight against the unbelieving Feringhees; but this too has passed away, and now I desire nothing but to become a Thug, and follow you, my father, through the world. I will not disappoint you; my thirst for fame is too ardent, for anything but death to quench it."
"May God keep it far from you," said Ismail, with feeling: "you are the only solace to a life which has now no enjoyment but what is produced by the development of your thoughts and actions. I know, my son, you will not disappoint me. You see the state of prosperity I am blessed with, but you little know the power I have; my authority is owned by every Thug in this part of Hindostan, and a week's notice would see a band of a thousand men ready to obey any order I should give them. This will be proved to you in a few days, at the festival of the Dasera; we shall all assemble, at least as many as will be requisite for the opening operations of the year, which will be undertaken on a scale of unusual greatness, for we have determined to take advantage of the confusion at present produced by the wars of Holkar and ​Sindea with the Feringhees; we anticipate much work and a stirring season, and the men are impatient for employment, after a long period of inactivity. I will take you to Sheopoor, which we have decided on as our place of meeting, as the zemindar is friendly to us and assists us in many ways. I will introduce you to my associates, and you will be initiated as a Thug in the usual manner."
Thus, Sahib, our conversation ended: the night had passed in its relation, and I went to rest a different being from what I had been for many days before. I rose, and found all my former energy and spirit had returned to me; and whereas a few days before I went about like a love-sick maiden, I now held up my head, threw out my chest, and felt a man. It was true I was still a boy, I was only eighteen years old, but I did not suffer my thoughts to dwell upon this; a few years, thought I, and, Inshalla! I shall be somebody. To prove to you, Sahib, the excitement that possessed me, I shall relate to you the following circumstance. I might have joined in the action before, but never should have dreamed of doing the deed of daring I then did, in the presence too of men who were ​soldiers by profession, but who hung back at the moment of danger.
It happened, a day or two after the conversation with my father which I have related, that a tigress with a cub came into a small tract of jungle which lay near our village; the first day she was seen she killed a shepherd, the second day another man who had gone to look for his body, and the third she grievously wounded the Potail of the village, a man who was held in universal estimation, and he died during the night. A general meeting of the villagers was held at the place set apart for deliberations, and it was determined that all the active men should proceed in a body and attack the beast in her lair. The next morning we all assembled before daybreak. There was one man, a huge large-whiskered and bearded Pathan, who volunteered to be our leader; he was literally hardly able to move for the weapons he had about him. Two swords were in his belt, which also contained an assortment of daggers of various sizes and shapes; a long straight two-edged sword hung over his left shoulder, the point of which nearly touched the ground; he had also a shield across his back, and in his right hand a ​matchlock with the match lighted. He addressed my father as we came up.
"Salaam aleikoom! Ismail Sahib," said he, "is a quiet person like you coming out with us, and the Sahib zadah too?"
"Yes, Khan," replied my father, "it is incumbent on all good men to do their utmost in a case of need like this; who knows, if the brute is not killed, but that some one else may become food for it?"
"Inshalla!" said the Khan, twisting up his mustachios, and surveying himself, "we have determined that the brute dies to-day. Many a tiger has fallen from a shot from my good gun, and what is this brute that it should escape! May its sister be defiled; the only fear is, that it will not stand to allow us to prove that we are men, and not dogs before it."
"As to that," said my father, "we must take our chance; but say, Khan, how will you move with all those weapons about you? Why, you could not run away were she to rush out."
"Run away!" cried the Khan; "are our beards to be defiled by a brute? What are you thinking on this morning to suppose that Dildar Khan ever turned from anything in his life? Only let it come out, I say, and you will see ​what use the weapons will be! Trust to me single-handed to finish it: first I shall shoot it with my matchlock; it will be wounded; then I shall advance on it thus," said he, drawing the long sword and flourishing it, at the same time twirling round and round, and leaping in every possible direction.
"There!" said he, quite out of breath, "there! would not that have finished it? Why I am a perfect Roostum in matters of this kind, and killing a tiger is only child's play to Dildar Khan! why, I could eat one, tail and all.
"But come along, and when the play begins, let no one come in Dildar Khan's way," said he to the assembled group, "for, Inshalla! I mean to show you poor ignorant people how a tiger can be killed by a single man."
"I know the Khan to be as arrant a coward as ever breathed," said my father to me; "but come, let us see what he will do, for I confess I am anxious to behold him capering before the tigress."
"By Alla!" said I, "if he does perform such antics, the brute will dine on him to a certainty."
"That is no concern of ours," said my father; "it is a matter of destiny; but I would venture ​a great deal, he never goes within an arrow's flight of him."
We all set out headed by Dildar Khan, who still flourished his long sword, holding his matchlock in his left hand, now and then smoothing up his mustachios, which grew, or had been trained to stick upwards from his lips, and reached nearly to his eyes. We soon reached the jungle, and on entering it, I thought the Khan showed signs of fear.
"The beast can be but a panther after all," said he, "and it is hardly worth the while of Dildar Khan to put himself to trouble. See, boys," continued he to some of us; "I will wait here; if it should really turn out to be a tiger you can let me know, and I will come and kill it."
Against this, however, we all protested, and declared that all would go wrong without him; and after some demur he again proceeded.
"I told you," said my father, "how it would be; but let us see how he will end the affair."
We went on till some bones and torn clothes, and the head of one of the unfortunate men who had been killed, lying near a bush, proved very plainly that the animal was not far off, and at these the Khan showed fresh signs of fear.
​"They say it is a Purrut Bagh," said he, "a beast into whom the unsainted soul of that mad Fakeer, that son of the Shitan, Shah Yacoob, has entered, and that it is proof against shot. Why should we risk our lives in contention with the devil?"
"Nay, Khan," said a young dare-devil lad, the scamp of the village, "you are joking, who ever heard of a Purrut Bagh that was a female? besides, we will burn the beards of fifty Shah Yacoobs."
"Peace!" cried the Khan, "be not irreverent; do we not all know that Purrut Baghs can be created? Mashalla! did I not see one near Asseergurh, which a Fakeer had made, and turned loose on the country, because they would not supply him with a virgin from every village?"
"What was it like?" cried a dozen of us, and for a moment the real tigress was forgotten.
"Like!" said the Khan, rubbing up his mustachios with one hand, and pressing down his waistband with the other, "like! why it had a head twice the size of any other tiger, and teeth each a cubit long, and eyes red as coals, which looked like torches at night; and it had no tail, and,—"
​But here he was stopped short, and our laughter too, by a loud roar from a short distance; and a moment afterwards, the tigress and a half-grown cub, rushed past us with their tails in the air.
"Well, Khan," said the lad before-mentioned, "that is no Purrut Bagh at any rate; did you not see the tail of the big one, how she shook it at you?"
"I represent," said he, "that, tail or no tail, it holds the accursed soul of that wretch Yacoob, may his grave be defiled! and I will have nothing to do with it; it is useless to try to kill the Shitan; if he chose, you know, he could blow us all into hell with a breath."
"Namurd! Namurd! coward! coward!" cried some of us; "you were brave in the village; how are you now?"
"Who calls me Namurd?" roared the Khan; "follow me, and see if I am one or not," and he rushed forward, but not in the direction the tigress had gone.
"That is not the way," cried some, and at last he turned.
"This is child's play," said my father; "come, if we are to do anything, we had better set about it in good earnest."
​And we went on in the direction the beast had taken.
It led to an open glade, at one side of which there was a large rock, with some very thick bushes about it.
"She is there, depend upon it," said an old hunter; "I never saw a more likely place in my life."
We were all about thirty steps from the rock and bushes, and Dildar Khan did not at all relish his proximity to them.
"I beg to represent," said he in a low voice to us all, "that having killed so many of these brutes, I know best how to manage them; and as I am the best armed of the party, I shall take up my position near yonder bush, by which runs the pathway; she will take to it when she is driven out, and then you will see the reception she will meet with from Dildar Khan. Inshalla! I shall present the point of my sword to her, and she will run on it, then I shall finish her with one blow of my tegha."
We all looked in the direction he pointed, and sure enough there was a bush, about two hundred paces off, on the pathway to the village.
"Not that one surely," said my father; ​"why, man, you will never see the beast from thence."
"Trust me," said the Khan, and off he went.
"I told you how it would be," continued my father; "directly he sees the animal, he will be off down the road as fast as he can. But come," said he to the men, "since the Khan thinks he will be of more use down yonder, I will lead you on, and we will see whether this eater of men cannot be got out."
We were immediately divided into three parties, one to go on either side of the bushes, the other by a circuit to get behind the rock and if possible upon it, in order to shoot her from above if she was to be seen; if not, at any rate to dislodge her by throwing stones. The arrangements were quickly completed, and though we were all within only a few yards of the bushes, there was no sign of the tigress. She expressed no displeasure at our near approach or preparations, as she had been disturbed before, and of course could not easily be driven out of her place of refuge. I was with one of the parties on the side, and had no arms but a sword and a light shield; indeed I had gone more as a spectator than aught else. We ​waited a few minutes, and one of the party who had been sent round, appeared on the top of the rock; he was soon followed by three others.
"Are you all ready?" cried one of them: "I shall heave down this stone."
"Bismillah! Away with it!" cried my father.
Three of them applied their strength to it, and at last it rolled over the face of the rock, and thundering down, split into a thousand fragments. There was a moment of intense anxiety and suspense, but no tigress followed.
"Try whether you cannot see her," cried my father; "if you do, fire; we are all prepared."
The men looked down in every direction, but said nothing. At last one of them was observed to be pointing to a particular spot, as though he showed the others something.
"By Alla!" said my father, "he sees her; look out; she will rush forth before you are thinking of her."
Every man blew his match, and planted his feet firmly. At last one of the men on the rock raised his matchlock and fired; it was answered by a tremendous roar which rent the skies, and ​out rushed the cub, apparently badly wounded, for before he had come a few yards he lay down and roared horribly; he was fully half-grown, and made a dreadful noise. One of the men of our party fired at him, and he did not move after the shot struck him.
"Now we shall have tough work," said my father; "she will be savage and infuriated beyond description; it is hardly safe to be here; but mind your aim, my lads, and she will never reach us; I never yet missed mine, but the shot may not be fatal; so look out for yourselves."
Again my father called to the men on the rock to heave over another fragment. There was one very large one just on the brink. After a good many pushes it gave way, and as the former had done, shivered into atoms with a great noise. It was successful, the tigress rushed out towards our side, and stood for a moment. I had never seen a tiger before, and could not help admiring her noble appearance. There she stood, her tail erect, the end of it only waving from side to side, glaring on us with her fearfully bright eyes, apparently irresolute as to what she would do, and not noticing the body of the cub, which was close to her. We were all as silent as death, each man ​with his matchlock to his shoulder. My father fired, and then the others; I could see the whole distinctly, for I had no gun. She staggered when my father fired, he had evidently hit her; but the rest had missed, and she charged with another tremendous roar, right at our party; but the shout we set up, and the waving of our weapons turned her, and she set off at a slow canter towards the bush where Dildar Khan had stationed himself.
"Ya Alla!" cried my father, "coward as he is, he will be killed! she will spare nothing now! what can be done?"
By this time the other party caught a glimpse of her, and every matchlock was discharged; she must have been hit again, for she stopped, turned round, growled, and showed her teeth, but again sprang forward. I imagine Dildar Khan had no idea that she was approaching him, as he had hid himself behind the bush and could have seen nothing of what had passed. "He may escape," said my father; "it is possible, yet scarcely; what can be done?" No one made a reply; but an instant afterwards I had drawn my sword, and set off at full speed after the enraged brute.
"Ameer Ali, my son! come back, come ​back instantly! Ya Alla, he too will perish!" cried my father in an agony of apprehension.
But I heeded not, and who of that company had my fleet foot? yet some of them followed me. As I ran, I saw the tigress was weak, and was badly wounded, but still she ran fast. I saw her approach the bush, and the miserable man Dildar Khan rush from behind it, and stand in her very path, with his arms stretched out, apparently paralyzed with fear. Another instant she had crouched as she ran, and sprang upon him; he was under her, and she fiercely tearing his body. It did not stop me; I heard the cries of those behind me to turn off, but I did not. I do not think I gave the danger a thought; if I did, the excitement overpowered it. Another bound had brought me close to the brute, whose head was down, gnawing the body beneath her. I made but one stroke at her, which, praise be to God! was successful; the blade buried itself deep in the back of her neck, and she seemed to me to drop dead; I bounded off to one side, and watched for a moment. She was indeed dead, and lay, her limbs only quivering, upon the body of the man beneath her. Unfortunate ​coward! wounded as she was, she would not have turned after him, had he even had the presence of mind to avoid her; but he had thought to fly, and the sight of the animal had paralyzed his faculties. Though all passed in a moment, methinks now, Sahib, I see him, his eyes starting from his head, and his arms raised and expanded, as though wooing the animal's fatal embrace. Coward! had he remained behind the bush, he was safe, and might have shot her as she passed; but there he lay, a fearful spectacle, his face all bitten and lacerated, and the blood pouring from wounds in his stomach! He was quite dead. My father came up immediately; he embraced me, and burst into tears.
"How could you risk your life, my boy?" said he; "how could you be so rashly venturous of your life for so poor a wretch as he?" pointing to the body; "did I not tell you he was a coward? Yet I am proud of you now, my son, and you have shamed us all. See!" continued he to the whole assembly, "our faces are blackened this day by a boy; who among you could have planted so well-aimed and deep a cut? See! the blade has buried itself, and is half ​through the bone. Mashalla! it is a brave boy!" and again my father hugged me to his breast.
"I beg to represent," said old Benee Singh, my instructor in my athletic exercises, "that some of the praise is due to me for my good teaching. I always told you, Ismail Sahib, that the Sahib Zadah would be worthy of his father; may his riches increase, and may he live a thousand years! Yes, sir," said he to me, "often have I taught you that cut; you see you were running along, and cut over your left hand; it is few that can do that with any certainty, but you have caught the knack, and you want but a little practice to become as good a swordsman as myself. Perhaps, too," continued he to me, laughing, "the heart of your teacher may be made glad to-day; under such an auspicious commencement, the Sahib Zadah will remember the old Rajpoot."
"That reminds me," said my father, "that I owe you a present; come to me this afternoon. Inshalla! we know how to be grateful for kindness, and it shall have its reward." And he received when he came a handsome gift.
I must say, however, that under his tuition ​I had become highly expert at all manly exercises; I could use a gun, throw a spear, wrestle, knew the exact use of every description of sword, straight or crooked, single or double-edged, long or short, and in all these exercises there was not a lad of the village, and I may say of the country round, who could in any way compete with me.
That night my father said to me, "Ameer, my son, to-morrow, you accompany me to Sheopoor. I need not tell you how to-day's exploit will raise you in the eyes of your future companions. Already have I despatched intelligence of our purposed departure to-morrow, and some account of to-day's affair, enough only to make them curious to see the hero of it; and I have mentioned no particulars, which will make them the more anxious to hear them from me. You have hitherto been looked on with some suspicion by many members of my band; and were it not for my rank of jemadar, I should have been obliged to explain my intentions in regard to you, long ago to them. I look therefore upon this event as particularly fortunate; as, knowing you are to be publicly brought amongst them, they will receive you with greater warmth and respect, as having given so ​undeniable a proof of your bravery, in the presence too of old soldiers, who have most of them seen many a tough fight."
"It was God's will," said I; "else what power had a boy like I to do such a thing?"
"You are now no child," replied my father; "you have this day, or I mistake you much, thrown off every lingering feeling of boyhood; the change has been sudden, but it has been complete, and it will last, or I mistake you much."
"You do not," I replied, "I am not what I was; to-day is the first blood I have seen spilled; I feel that it will not be the last."