# A Girl of the Limberlost/Chapter 20

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CHAPTER XX
Wherein the Elder Ammon Offers Advice, and Edith Carr Experiences Regrets
Philip Ammon walked from among his friends a humiliated and a wounded man. Never before had Edith Carr appeared quite so beautiful. All evening she had treated him with unusual consideration. Never had he loved her so deeply. Then in a few seconds everything was different. Seeing the change in her face, and hearing her meaningless accusations, killed something in his heart. Warmth went out and a cold weight took its place. But even after that he had offered the ring to her again, and asked her before others to reconsider. The answer had been further insult.
He walked straight ahead, paying no heed to where he went. He had traversed many miles when he became aware that his feet had chosen familiar streets. He was passing his home. Dawn was near, but the first floor was lighted. He staggered up the steps and was instantly admitted. The library door stood open, while his father sat with a book pretending to read. At Philip's entrance the father scarcely glanced up.
"Come on!" he called. "I have just told Banks to ​bring me a cup of coffee before I turn in. Have one with me!"
Philip sat by the table and leaned his head on his hands, but he drank a cup of steaming coffee and felt better.
"Father," he said, "father, may I talk with you a little while?"
"Of course," answered Mr. Ammon. "I am not at all tired. I think I must have been waiting in the hope that you would come. I want no one's version of this but yours. Tell me the straight of the thing, Phil."
Philip told all he knew, while his father sat in deep thought.
"On my life I can't see any occasion for such a display of temper, Phil. It passed all bounds of reason and breeding. Can't you think of anything more?"
"I cannot!"
"Polly says every one expected you to carry the moth you caught to Edith. Why didn't you?"
"She screams if a thing of that kind comes near her. She never has taken the slightest interest in them. I was in a big hurry. I didn't want to miss one minute of my dance with her. The moth was not so uncommon, but by a combination of bad luck it had become the rarest in America for a friend of mine, who is making a collection to pay college expenses. For an instant last June the series was completed; when a woman's uncontrolled temper ruined this specimen and the search for it began over. A few days later a pair was secured, and again the money ​was in sight for several hours. Then an accident wrecked one fourth of the collection. I helped replace those last June, all but this Yellow Emperor which we could not secure, and we haven't been able to find, buy or trade for one since. So my friend was compelled to teach this past winter instead of going to college. When that moth came flying in there to-night, it seemed to me like fate. All I thought of was, that to secure it would complete the collection and get the money. So I caught the Emperor and started it to Elnora. I declare to you that I was not out of the pavilion over three minutes at a liberal estimate. If I only had thought to speak to the orchestra! I was sure I would be back before enough couples gathered and formed for the dance."
The eyes of the elder Ammon were very bright.
"The friend for whom you wanted the moth is a girl?" he asked indifferently, as he ran the book leaves through his fingers.
"The girl of whom I wrote you last summer, and told you about in the fall. I helped her all the time I was away."
"Did Edith know of her?"
"I tried many times to tell her, to interest her, but she was so indifferent that it was insulting. She would not hear me."
"We are neither one in any condition to sleep. Why don't you begin at the first and tell me about this girl? To think of other matters for a time may clear our vision for a sane solution of this. Who is she, just what is she ​doing, and what is she like? You know I was reared among those Limberlost people, I can understand readily. What is her name and where does she live?"
Philip gave a man's version of the previous summer, while his father played with the book industriously.
"You are very sure as to her refinement and education?" he asked.
"In almost two months' daily association, could a man be mistaken? She can far and away beat Polly, Edith, or any girl of our set on any common, high school, or supplementary branch, and you know high schools have French, German, and physics now. Besides, she is a graduate of two other institutions. All her life she has been in the School of Hard Knocks. She has the biggest, tenderest, most human heart I ever knew in a girl. She has known life in its most cruel phases, and instead of hardening her, it has set her trying to save other people suffering. Then this nature position of which I told you; she graduated in the School of the Woods, before she got that. The Bird Woman, whose work you know, helped her there. Elnora knows more interesting things in a minute than any other girl I ever met knew in an hour, provided you are a person who cares to understand plant and animal life."
The book leaves slid rapidly through his fingers as the father drawled, "What sort of looking girl is she?"
"Tall as Edith, a little heavier, pink, even complexion, wide open blue-gray eyes with heavy black brows, and lashes so long they touch her cheeks. She has a rope of ​waving, shining hair that makes a real crown on her head, and it appears almost red in the light. She is as handsome as any fair woman I ever saw, but she doesn't know it. Every time any one pays her a compliment, her mother, who is a caution, discovers that, for some reason, the girl is a fright, so she has no appreciation of her looks."
"And you were in daily association two months with a girl like that! How about it, Phil?"
"If you mean, did I trifle with her, no!" cried Philip hotly. "I told her the second time I met her all about Edith. Almost every day I wrote to Edith in her presence. Elnora gathered violets and made a fancy basket to put them in for Edith's birthday. I started to err in too open admiration for Elnora, but her mother brought me up with a whirl I never forgot. Fifty times a day in the swamps and forests Elnora made a perfect picture, but I neither looked nor said anything. I never met any girl so downright noble in bearing and actions. I never hated anything as I hated leaving her, for we were dear friends, like two wholly congenial men. Her mother was almost always with us. She knew how much I admired Elnora, but so long as I concealed it from the girl the mother did not care."
"Yet you left such a girl and came back whole-hearted to Edith Carr!"
"Surely! You know how it has been with me about Edith all my life."
"Yet the girl you picture is far her superior to an ​unprejudiced person, when thinking what a man would require in a wife to be happy."
"I never have thought what I would 'require' to be happy! I only thought whether I could make Edith happy. I have been an idiot! What I've borne you'll never know! To-night is only one of many outbursts like that in varying and lesser degress."
"Phil, I love you, when you say you have thought only of Edith! I happen to know that it is true. You are my only son, and I have had a right to watch you closely. I believe you utterly. Any one who cares for you as I do, and has had my years of experience in this world over yours, knows that in some ways to-night would be a blessed release, if you could take it; but you cannot! Go to bed now, and get some rest. To-morrow, go back to her and fix it up."
"You heard what I said when I left her! I said it because something in my heart died a minute before that, and I realized that it was my love for Edith Carr. Never again will I voluntarily face such a scene. If she can act like that at a ball, before hundreds, over a thing of which I thought nothing at all, she would go into actual physical fits and spasms over some of the household crises I've seen the mater meet with a smile. Sir, it is truth that I have thought only of her up to the present. Now, I will admit I am thinking about myself. Father, did you see her? Life is too short, and it can be too sweet, to throw away in a bottle with an unrestrained woman. I am no fighter—where a girl is concerned, anyway. I ​respect and love her or I do nothing. Never again is either respect or love possible between me and Edith Carr. Whenever I think of her in the future, I will see her as she was to-night. But I can't face the crowd just yet. Could you spare me a few days?"
"It is only ten days until you were to go north for the summer; go now."
"I don't want to go north. I don't want to meet people I know. There, the story would precede me. I do not need pitying glances or rough condolences. I wonder if I could not hide at Uncle Ed's in Wisconsin for a while?"
The book closed suddenly. The father leaned across the table and looked into the son's eyes.
"Phil, are you sure of what you just have said?"
"Quite sure!"
"Do you think you are in any condition to decide to-night?"
"Death cannot return to life, father. My love for Edith Carr is dead. I hope never to see her again."
"If I thought you could be certain so soon! But, come to think of it, you are very like me in many ways. I am with you in this. Public scenes and disgraces I would not endure. It would be over with me, were I in your position, that I know."
"It is done for all time," said Philip Ammon. "Let us not speak of it further."
"Then, Phil," the father leaned closer and looked at the son tenderly, "Phil, why don't you go to the Limberlost?"
​"Father!"
"Why not? No one can comfort a hurt heart like a tender woman; and, Phil, have you ever stopped to think that you may have a duty in the Limberlost, if you are free! I don't know! I only suggest it. But for a country schoolgirl, unaccustomed to men, two months with a man like you might well awaken feelings of which you do not think. Because you were safeguarded is no sign the girl was. She might care to see you. You can soon tell. With you, she comes next to Edith, and you have made it clear to me that you appreciate her in many ways above. So I repeat it, why not go to the Limberlost?"
A long time Philip Ammon sat in deep thought. At last he raised his head.
"Well, why not!" he said. "Years could make me no surer than I am now, and life is short. Please ask Banks to get me some coffee and toast, and I will bathe and dress so I can take the early train."
"Go to your bath. I will attend to your packing and everything. And, Phil, if I were you, I would leave no addresses."
"Not an address!" said Ammon. "Not even Polly."
When the train pulled out, the elder Ammon went home to find Hart Henderson waiting.
"Where is Phil?" he demanded.
"He did not feel like facing his friends at present, and I am just back from driving him to the station. He said he might go to Siam or Patagonia. He would leave no address."
​Henderson almost staggered. "He's not gone? And left no address? You don't mean it! He'll never forgive her!"
"Never is a long time, Hart," said Mr. Ammon. "And it seems even longer to those of us who are well acquainted with Phil. Last night was not the last straw. It was the whole straw-stack. It crushed Phil so far as she is concerned. He will not see her again voluntarily, and he will not forget if he does. You can take it from him, and from me, we have accepted the lady's decision. Will you have a cup of coffee?"
Twice Henderson opened his lips to speak of Edith Carr's despair. Twice he looked into the stern, inflexible face of Mr. Ammon and could not betray her. He held out the ring.
"I have no instructions as to that," said the elder Ammon, drawing back. "Possibly Miss Carr would have it as a keepsake."
"I am sure not," said Henderson curtly.
"Then suppose you return it to Peacock. I will 'phone him. He will give you the price of it, and you might add it to the children's Fresh Air Fund. We would be obliged if you would do that. No one here cares to handle the object."
"As you choose," said Henderson. "Good morning!"
Then he went to his home, but he could not think of sleep. He ordered breakfast, but he could not eat. He paced the library for a time, but it was too small. Going out on the streets he walked until exhausted, then he called a hansom and was driven to his club. He had ​thought himself familiar with every depth of suffering; that night had taught him that what he felt for himself was not to be compared with the anguish which wrung his heart over the agony of Edith Carr. He tried to blame Philip Ammon, but being an honest man, Henderson knew that was unjust. The fault lay wholly with her, but that only made it harder for him, as he realized it would in time for her. As he sauntered into the room an attendant hurried to him.
"You are wanted most urgently at the 'phone, Mr. Henderson," he said. "You have had three calls from Main 5770."
Henderson shivered as he picked down the receiver and gave the call.
"Is that you, Hart?" came Edith's voice.
"Yes."
"Did you find Phil?"
"No."
"Did you try?"
"Yes. As soon as I left you I went straight there."
"Wasn't he home yet?"
"He has been home and gone again."
"Gone!"
The cry tore Henderson's heart.
"Shall I come and tell you, Edith?"
"No! Tell me now."
"When I got to the house Banks said Mr. Ammon and Phil were out in the motor, so I waited. Mr. Ammon came back soon. Edith, are you alone?"
​"Yes. Go on!"
"Call your maid. I can't tell you until some one is with you."
"Tell me instantly!"
"Edith, he said he had been to the station. He said Phil had started to Siam or Patagonia, he didn't know which, and left no address. He said——"
Distinctly Henderson heard her fall. He set the buzzer ringing, and in a few seconds heard voices, so he knew she had been found. Then he crept into a private den and shook with a hard, nervous chill.
The next day Edith Carr started on her trip to Europe. Henderson felt certain she hoped to meet Philip there. He was sure she would be disappointed, though he had no idea where Ammon could have gone. But after much thought he decided he would see Edith soonest by remaining at home, so he spent the summer in Chicago.