# The History of the Adventures of Joseph Andrews and his Friend, Mr. Abraham Abrams/Book IV, Chapter X

CHAPTER X.
_The history of two friends, which may afford an useful lesson to all
those persons who happen to take up their residence in married
families._
"Leonard and Paul were two friends."--"Pronounce it Lennard, child,"
cried the parson.--"Pray, Mr Adams," says Lady Booby, "let your son read
without interruption." Dick then proceeded. "Lennard and Paul were two
friends, who, having been educated together at the same school,
commenced a friendship which they preserved a long time for each other.
It was so deeply fixed in both their minds, that a long absence, during
which they had maintained no correspondence, did not eradicate nor
lessen it: but it revived in all its force at their first meeting, which
was not till after fifteen years' absence, most of which time Lennard
had spent in the East Indi-es."--"Pronounce it short, Indies," says
Adams.--"Pray? sir, be quiet," says the lady.--The boy repeated--"in the
East Indies, whilst Paul had served his king and country in the army. In
which different services they had found such different success, that
Lennard was now married, and retired with a fortune of thirty thousand
pounds; and Paul was arrived to the degree of a lieutenant of foot; and
was not worth a single shilling.
"The regiment in which Paul was stationed happened to be ordered into
quarters within a small distance from the estate which Lennard had
purchased, and where he was settled. This latter, who was now become a
country gentleman, and a justice of peace, came to attend the quarter
sessions in the town where his old friend was quartered, soon after his
arrival. Some affair in which a soldier was concerned occasioned Paul to
attend the justices. Manhood, and time, and the change of climate had so
much altered Lennard, that Paul did not immediately recollect the
features of his old acquaintance: but it was otherwise with Lennard. He
knew Paul the moment he saw him; nor could he contain himself from
quitting the bench, and running hastily to embrace him. Paul stood at
first a little surprized; but had soon sufficient information from his
friend, whom he no sooner remembered than he returned his embrace with a
passion which made many of the spectators laugh, and gave to some few a
much higher and more agreeable sensation.
"Not to detain the reader with minute circumstances, Lennard insisted on
his friend's returning with him to his house that evening; which request
was complied with, and leave for a month's absence for Paul obtained of
the commanding officer.
"If it was possible for any circumstance to give any addition to the
happiness which Paul proposed in this visit, he received that additional
pleasure by finding, on his arrival at his friend's house, that his lady
was an old acquaintance which he had formerly contracted at his
quarters, and who had always appeared to be of a most agreeable temper;
a character she had ever maintained among her intimates, being of that
number, every individual of which is called quite the best sort of woman
in the world.
"But, good as this lady was, she was still a woman; that is to say, an
angel, and not an angel."--"You must mistake, child," cries the parson,
"for you read nonsense."--"It is so in the book," answered the son. Mr
Adams was then silenced by authority, and Dick proceeded--"For though
her person was of that kind to which men attribute the name of angel,
yet in her mind she was perfectly woman. Of which a great degree of
obstinacy gave the most remarkable and perhaps most pernicious instance.
"A day or two passed after Paul's arrival before any instances of this
appeared; but it was impossible to conceal it long. Both she and her
husband soon lost all apprehension from their friend's presence, and
fell to their disputes with as much vigour as ever. These were still
pursued with the utmost ardour and eagerness, however trifling the
causes were whence they first arose. Nay, however incredible it may
seem, the little consequence of the matter in debate was frequently
given as a reason for the fierceness of the contention, as thus: 'If you
loved me, sure you would never dispute with me such a trifle as this.'
The answer to which is very obvious; for the argument would hold equally
on both sides, and was constantly retorted with some addition, as--'I am
sure I have much more reason to say so, who am in the right.' During all
these disputes, Paul always kept strict silence, and preserved an even
countenance, without showing the least visible inclination to either
party. One day, however, when madam had left the room in a violent fury,
Lennard could not refrain from referring his cause to his friend. Was
ever anything so unreasonable, says he, as this woman? What shall I do
with her? I doat on her to distraction; nor have I any cause to complain
of, more than this obstinacy in her temper; whatever she asserts, she
will maintain against all the reason and conviction in the world. Pray
give me your advice.--First, says Paul, I will give my opinion, which
is, flatly, that you are in the wrong; for, supposing she is in the
wrong, was the subject of your contention any ways material? What
signified it whether you was married in a red or a yellow waistcoat? for
that was your dispute. Now, suppose she was mistaken; as you love her
you say so tenderly, and I believe she deserves it, would it not have
been wiser to have yielded, though you certainly knew yourself in the
right, than to give either her or yourself any uneasiness. For my own
part, if ever I marry, I am resolved to enter into an agreement with my
wife, that in all disputes (especially about trifles) that party who is
most convinced they are right shall always surrender the victory; by
which means we shall both be forward to give up the cause. I own, said
Lennard, my dear friend, shaking him by the hand, there is great truth
and reason in what you say; and I will for the future endeavour to
follow your advice. They soon after broke up the conversation, and
Lennard, going to his wife, asked her pardon, and told her his friend
had convinced him he had been in the wrong. She immediately began a vast
encomium on Paul, in which he seconded her, and both agreed he was the
worthiest and wisest man upon earth. When next they met, which was at
supper, though she had promised not to mention what her husband told
her, she could not forbear casting the kindest and most affectionate
looks on Paul, and asked him, with the sweetest voice, whether she
should help him to some potted woodcock? Potted partridge, my dear, you
mean, says the husband. My dear, says she, I ask your friend if he will
eat any potted woodcock; and I am sure I must know, who potted it. I
think I should know too, who shot them, replied the husband, and I am
convinced that I have not seen a woodcock this year; however, though I
know I am in the right, I submit, and the potted partridge is potted
woodcock if you desire to have it so. It is equal to me, says she,
whether it is one or the other; but you would persuade one out of one's
senses; to be sure, you are always in the right in your own opinion; but
your friend, I believe, knows which he is eating. Paul answered nothing,
and the dispute continued, as usual, the greatest part of the evening.
The next morning the lady, accidentally meeting Paul, and being
convinced he was her friend, and of her side, accosted him thus:--I am
certain, sir, you have long since wondered at the unreasonableness of my
husband. He is indeed, in other respects, a good sort of man, but so
positive, that no woman but one of my complying temper could possibly
live with him. Why, last night, now, was ever any creature so
unreasonable? I am certain you must condemn him. Pray, answer me, was he
not in the wrong? Paul, after a short silence, spoke as follows: I am
sorry, madam, that, as good manners obliges me to answer against my
will, so an adherence to truth forces me to declare myself of a
different opinion. To be plain and honest, you was entirely in the
wrong; the cause I own not worth disputing, but the bird was undoubtedly
a partridge. O sir! replyed the lady, I cannot possibly help your taste.
Madam, returned Paul, that is very little material; for, had it been
otherwise, a husband might have expected submission.--Indeed! sir, says
she, I assure you!--Yes, madam, cryed he, he might, from a person of
your excellent understanding; and pardon me for saying, such a
condescension would have shown a superiority of sense even to your
husband himself.--But, dear sir, said she, why should I submit when I am
in the right?--For that very reason, answered he; it would be the
greatest instance of affection imaginable; for can anything be a greater
object of our compassion than a person we love in the wrong? Ay, but I
should endeavour, said she, to set him right. Pardon me, madam, answered
Paul: I will apply to your own experience if you ever found your
arguments had that effect. The more our judgments err, the less we are
willing to own it: for my own part, I have always observed the persons
who maintain the worst side in any contest are the warmest. Why, says
she, I must confess there is truth in what you say, and I will endeavour
to practise it. The husband then coming in, Paul departed. And Leonard,
approaching his wife with an air of good humour, told her he was sorry
for their foolish dispute the last night; but he was now convinced of
his error. She answered, smiling, she believed she owed his
condescension to his complacence; that she was ashamed to think a word
had passed on so silly an occasion, especially as she was satisfyed she
had been mistaken. A little contention followed, but with the utmost
good-will to each other, and was concluded by her asserting that Paul
had thoroughly convinced her she had been in the wrong. Upon which they
both united in the praises of their common friend.
"Paul now passed his time with great satisfaction, these disputes being
much less frequent, as well as shorter than usual; but the devil, or
some unlucky accident in which perhaps the devil had no hand, shortly
put an end to his happiness. He was now eternally the private referee of
every difference; in which, after having perfectly, as he thought,
established the doctrine of submission, he never scrupled to assure both
privately that they were in the right in every argument, as before he
had followed the contrary method. One day a violent litigation happened
in his absence, and both parties agreed to refer it to his decision. The
husband professing himself sure the decision would be in his favour; the
wife answered, he might be mistaken; for she believed his friend was
convinced how seldom she was to blame; and that if he knew all--The
husband replied, My dear, I have no desire of any retrospect; but I
believe, if you knew all too, you would not imagine my friend so
entirely on your side. Nay, says she, since you provoke me, I will
mention one instance. You may remember our dispute about sending Jackey
to school in cold weather, which point I gave up to you from mere
compassion, knowing myself to be in the right; and Paul himself told me
afterwards he thought me so. My dear, replied the husband, I will not
scruple your veracity; but I assure you solemnly, on my applying to him,
he gave it absolutely on my side, and said he would have acted in the
same manner. They then proceeded to produce numberless other instances,
in all which Paul had, on vows of secresy, given his opinion on both
sides. In the conclusion, both believing each other, they fell severely
on the treachery of Paul, and agreed that he had been the occasion of
almost every dispute which had fallen out between them. They then became
extremely loving, and so full of condescension on both sides, that they
vyed with each other in censuring their own conduct, and jointly vented
their indignation on Paul, whom the wife, fearing a bloody consequence,
earnestly entreated her husband to suffer quietly to depart the next
day, which was the time fixed for his return to quarters, and then drop
his acquaintance.
"However ungenerous this behaviour in Lennard may be esteemed, his wife
obtained a promise from him (though with difficulty) to follow her
advice; but they both expressed such unusual coldness that day to Paul,
that he, who was quick of apprehension, taking Lennard aside, pressed
him so home, that he at last discovered the secret. Paul acknowledged
the truth, but told him the design with which he had done it.--To which
the other answered, he would have acted more friendly to have let him
into the whole design; for that he might have assured himself of his
secresy. Paul replyed, with some indignation, he had given him a
sufficient proof how capable he was of concealing a secret from his
wife. Lennard returned with some warmth--he had more reason to upbraid
him, for that he had caused most of the quarrels between them by his
strange conduct, and might (if they had not discovered the affair to
each other) have been the occasion of their separation. Paul then
said"--But something now happened which put a stop to Dick's reading,
and of which we shall treat in the next chapter.