# Henry IV Part 1 (1917) Yale/Text/Act II

Notes originally placed at the bottom of each page appear below, following Act II. Where these notes gloss a word in the text, the gloss can also be found by hovering over the text.
Where these notes refer to an end note (cf. n. = confer notam; "consult note"), a link to the accompanying end note is provided from the Footnotes section. The end notes accompanying Act II begin on page 119 of the original volume.
Layout 2
ACT SECOND
Scene One
[Rochester. An Inn-Yard]
Enter a Carrier, with a lantern in his hand.
First Car. Heigh-ho! An 't be not four by the day I'll be hanged: Charles' Wain is over the new chimney, and yet our horse not packed. What, ostler! 4
​Ost. [within.] Anon, anon.
First Car. I prithee, Tom, beat Cut's saddle, put a few flocks in the point: the poor jade is wrung in the withers out of all cess. 8
Enter another Carrier.
Sec. Car. Peas and beans are as dank here as a dog, and that is the next way to give poor jades the bots; this house is turned upside down since Robin Ostler died. 12
First Car. Poor fellow! never joyed since the price of oats rose; it was the death of him.
Sec. Car. I think this be the most villainous house in all London road for fleas: I am stung like a tench. 17
First Car. Like a tench! by the mass, there is ne'er a king christen could be better bit than I have been since the first cock. 20
Sec. Car. Why, they will allow us ne'er a jordan, and then we leak in the chimney; and your chamber-lie breeds fleas like a loach.
First Car. What, ostler! come away and be hanged, come away. 25
Sec. Car. I have a gammon of bacon and two razes of ginger, to be delivered as far as Charing-cross. 28
First Car. Godsbody! the turkeys in my pannier are quite starved. What, ostler! A plague on thee! hast thou never an eye in thy ​head? canst not hear? An 'twere not as good a deed as drink to break the pate on thee, I am a very villain. Come, and be hanged! hast no faith in thee?
Enter Gadshill.
Gads. Good morrow, carriers. What's o'clock?
First Car. I think it be two o'clock. 37
Gads. I prithee, lend me thy lantern, to see my gelding in the stable.
First Car. Nay, by God, soft: I know a trick worth two of that, i' faith. 41
Gads. I prithee, lend me thine.
Sec. Car. Ay, when? canst tell? Lend me thy lantern, quoth a'? marry, I'll see thee hanged first. 45
Gads. Sirrah carrier, what time do you mean to come to London?
Sec. Car. Time enough to go to bed with a candle, I warrant thee. Come, neighbour Mugs, we'll call up the gentlemen: they will along with company, for they have great charge.
Exeunt [Carriers]. Enter Chamberlain.
Gads. What, ho! chamberlain! 52
Cham. 'At hand, quoth pick-purse.'
Gads. That's even as fair as, 'at hand, quoth the chamberlain'; for thou variest no more from picking of purses than giving direction doth from labouring; thou layest the plot how. 57
Cham. Good morrow, Master Gadshill. It holds current that I told you yesternight: there's a franklin in the wild of Kent hath brought ​three hundred marks with him in gold: I heard him tell it to one of his company last night at supper; a kind of auditor; one that hath abun- dance of charge too, God knows what. They are up already and call for eggs and butter: they will away presently.
Gads. Sirrah, if they meet not with Saint Nicholas' clerks, I'll give thee this neck. 68
Cham. No, I'll none of it: I prithee, keep that for the hangman; for I know thou wor- ship'st Saint Nicholas as truly as a man of falsehood may. 72
Gads. What talkest thou to me of the hangman? If I hang I'll make a fat pair of gallows; for if I hang, old Sir John hangs with me, and thou knowest he's no starveling. Tut! there are other Troyans that thou dreamest not of, the which for sport sake are content to do the profession some grace; that would, if matters should be looked into, for their own credit sake make all whole. I am joined with no foot-land- rakers, no long-staff sixpenny strikers, none of these mad mustachio-purple-hued malt worms; but with nobility and tranquillity, burgomasters and great oneyers, such as can hold in, such as will strike sooner than speak, and speak sooner than drink, and drink sooner than pray: and yet I lie; for they pray continually to their saint, the commonwealth; or, rather, not pray to her, but prey on her, for they ride up and down on her and make her their boots.
​Cham. What! the commonwealth their boots? will she hold out water in foul way? 93
Gads. She will, she will; justice hath liquored her. We steal as in a castle, cock-sure; we have the receipt of fern-seed, we walk invisible. 96
Cham. Nay, by my faith, I think you are more beholding to the night than to fern-seed for your walking invisible.
Gads. Give me thy hand: thou shalt have a share in our purchase, as I am a true man. 101
Cham. Nay, rather let me have it, as you are false thief.
Gads. Go to; homo is a common name to all men. Bid the ostler bring my gelding out of the stable. Farewell, you muddy knave. 106
[Exeunt.
Scene Two
[Gadshill. The highway]
Enter Prince, Poins, and Peto.
Poins. Come, shelter, shelter: I have re- moved Falstaff's horse, and he frets like a gummed velvet.
Prince. Stand close. 4
Enter Falstaff.
Fal. Poins! Poins, and be hanged! Poins!
Prince. Peace, ye fat-kidneyed rascal! What a brawling dost thou keep!
Fal. Where's Poins, Hal? 8
​Prince. He is walked up to the top of the hill: I'll go seek him. [Withdraws.]
Fal. I am accursed to rob in that thief's company; the rascal hath removed my horse and tied him I know not where. If I travel but four foot by the squire further afoot I shall break my wind. Well, I doubt not but to die a fair death for all this, if I 'scape hanging for killing that rogue. I have forsworn his company hourly any time this two-and-twenty years, and yet I am bewitched with the rogue's com- pany. If the rascal have not given me medicines to make me love him, I'll be hanged: it could not be else: I have drunk medicines. Poins! Hal! a plague upon you both! Bardolph! Peto! I'll starve ere I'll rob a foot further. An 'twere not as good a deed as drink to turn true men and leave these rogues, I am the veriest varlet that ever chewed with a tooth. Eight yards of uneven ground is threescore and ten miles afoot with me, and the stony-hearted villains know it well enough. A plague upon 't when thieves cannot be true one to another! They whistle. Whew! A plague upon you all! Give me my horse, you rogues; give me my horse and be hanged. 34
Prince. [Coming forward.] Peace, ye fat- guts! lie down: lay thine ear close to the ground, and list if thou canst hear the tread of travellers. 38
Fal. Have you any levers to lift me up again, being down? 'Sblood! I'll not bear mine own ​flesh so far afoot again for all the coin in thy father's exchequer. What a plague mean ye to colt me thus?
Prince. Thou liest: thou art not colted; thou art uncolted. 45
Fal. I prithee, good Prince Hal, help me to my horse, good king's son.
Prince. Out, you rogue! shall I be your ostler?
Fal. Go, hang thyself in thine own heir appa- rent garters! If I be ta'en I'll peach for this. An I have not ballads made on you all, and sung to filthy tunes, let a cup of sack be my poison: when a jest is so forward, and afoot too! I hate it. 53
Enter Gadshill [and Bardolph].
Gads. Stand.
Fal. So I do, against my will.
Poins. O! 'tis our setter: I know his voice. Bardolph, what news? 57
Bard. Case ye, case ye; on with your vizards: there's money of the king's coming down the hill; 'tis going to the king's exchequer. 60
Fal. You lie, you rogue; 'tis going to the king's tavern.
Gads. There's enough to make us all.
Fal. To be hanged. 64
Prince. Sirs, you four shall front them in the narrow lane; Ned Poins and I will walk lower: if they 'scape from your encounter then they light on us. 68
Peto. How many be there of them?
Gads. Some eight or ten.
​Fal. 'Zounds! will they not rob us?
Prince. What! a coward, Sir John Paunch?
Fal. Indeed, I am not John of Gaunt, your grandfather; but yet no coward, Hal. 74
Prince. Well, we leave that to the proof.
Poins. Sirrah Jack, thy horse stands behind the hedge: when thou needst him there thou shalt find him. Farewell, and stand fast. [Prince and Poins withdraw.]
Fal. Now cannot I strike him if I should be hanged. 80
Prince. Ned, where are our disguises?
Poins. Here, hard by; stand close.
Fal. Now my masters, happy man be his dole, say I: every man to his business. 85
Enter Travellers.
First Trav. Come, neighbour; the boy shall lead our horses down the hill; we'll walk afoot awhile, and ease our legs. 88
Thieves. Stand!
Travellers. Jesu bless us!
Fal. Strike; down with them; cut the vil- lains' throats: ah! whoreson caterpillars! bacon- fed knaves! they hate us youth: down with them; fleece them.
Travellers. O! we are undone, both we and ours for ever. 96
Fal. Hang ye, gorbellied knaves, are ye un- done? No, ye fat chuffs; I would your store were here! On, bacons, on! What! ye knaves, ​young men must live. You are grand-jurors are ye? We'll jure ye, i' faith. 101
Here they rob them and bind them. Exeunt. Enter the Prince and Poins.
Prince. The thieves have bound the true men. Now could thou and I rob the thieves and go merrily to London, it would be argument for a week, laughter for a month, and a good jest for ever. 106
Poins. Stand close; I hear them coming.
Enter the thieves again.
Fal. Come, my masters; let us share, and then to horse before day. An the Prince and Poins be not two arrant cowards, there's no equity stirring: there's no more valour in that Poins than in a wild duck. 112
Prince. Your money!
Poins. Villains!
As they are sharing, the Prince and Poins set upon them. They all run away; and Falstaff, after a blow or two, runs away too, leaving the booty behind them.
Prince. Got with much ease. Now merrily to horse: The thieves are scatter'd and possess'd with fear So strongly that they dare not meet each other; Each takes his fellow for an officer. Away, good Ned. Falstaff sweats to death And lards the lean earth as he walks along: 120 Were 't not for laughing I should pity him.
Poins. How the rogue roar'd! Exeunt.
Scene Three
[Warkworth Castle]
Enter Hotspur, solus, reading a letter.
"But for mine own part, my lord, I could be well contented to be there, in respect of the love I bear your house." He could be contented; why is he not then? In respect of the love he bears our house: he shows in this he loves his own barn better than he loves our house. Let me see some more.
"The purpose you undertake is dangerous;—" 8 Why, that's certain: 'tis dangerous to take a cold, to sleep, to drink; but I tell you, my lord fool, out of this nettle, danger, we pluck this flower, safety. 12
"The purpose you undertake is dangerous; the friends you have named uncertain; the time itself unsorted; and your whole plot too light for the counterpoise of so great an opposition." 16 Say you so, say you so? I say unto you again, you are a shallow cowardly hind, and you lie. What a lack-brain is this! By the Lord, our plot is a good plot as ever was laid; our friends true and constant: a good plot, good friends, and full of expectation; an excellent plot, very good friends. What a frosty-spirited rogue is this! Why, my Lord of York commends the plot and the general course of the action. 'Zounds! an I were now by this rascal, I could brain him with his lady's fan. Is there not my father, my uncle, and myself? Lord Edmund Mortimer, my ​Lord of York, and Owen Glendower? Is there not besides the Douglas? Have I not all their letters to meet me in arms by the ninth of the next month, and are they not some of them set forward already? What a pagan rascal is this! an infidel! Ha! you shall see now in very sin- cerity of fear and cold heart, will he to the king and lay open all our proceedings. O! I could divide myself and go to buffets, for moving such a dish of skim milk with so honourable an action. Hang him! let him tell the king; we are prepared. I will set forward to-night. 40
Enter his Lady.
How now, Kate! I must leave you within these two hours.
Lady P. O, my good lord! why are you thus alone? For what offence have I this fortnight been A banish'd woman from my Harry's bed? 44 Tell me, sweet lord, what is 't that takes from thee Thy stomach, pleasure, and thy golden sleep? Why dost thou bend thine eyes upon the earth, And start so often when thou sitt'st alone? 48 Why hast thou lost the fresh blood in thy cheeks, And given my treasures and my rights of thee To thick-eyed musing and curst melancholy? In thy faint slumbers I by thee have watch'd, 52 And heard thee murmur tales of iron wars, Speak terms of manage to thy bounding steed, Cry, 'Courage! to the field!' And thou hast talk'd Of sallies and retires, of trenches, tents, 56 Of palisadoes, frontiers, parapets, ​Of basilisks, of cannon, culverin, Of prisoners' ransom, and of soldiers slain, And all the currents of a heady fight. 60 Thy spirit within thee hath been so at war, And thus hath so bestirr'd thee in thy sleep, That beads of sweat have stood upon thy brow, Like bubbles in a late-disturbed stream; 64 And in thy face strange motions have appear'd, Such as we see when men restrain their breath On some great sudden hest. O! what portents are these? Some heavy business hath my lord in hand, 68 And I must know it, else he loves me not.
Hot. What, ho! [Enter Servant.] Is Gilliams with the packet gone?
Serv. He is, my lord, an hour ago.
Hot. Hath Butler brought those horses from the sheriff? 72
Serv. One horse, my lord, he brought even now.
Hot. What horse? a roan, a crop-ear, is it not?
Serv. It is, my lord.
Hot.That roan shall be my throne. Well, I will back him straight: O, Esperance! Bid Butler lead him forth into the park. [Exit Servant.]
Lady P. But hear you, my lord.
Hot. What sayst thou, my lady?
Lady P. What is it carries you away? 80
Hot. Why, my horse, my love, my horse.
Lady P. Out, you mad-headed ape! A weasel hath not such a deal of spleen As you are toss'd with. In faith, 84 ​I'll know your business, Harry, that I will. I fear my brother Mortimer doth stir About his title, and hath sent for you To line his enterprise. But if you go—88
Hot. So far afoot, I shall be weary love.
Lady P. Come, come, you paraquito, answer me Directly unto this question that I ask. In faith, I'll break thy little finger, Harry, 92 An if thou wilt not tell me all things true.
Hot. Away, Away, you trifler! Love! I love thee not, I care not for thee, Kate: this is no world 96 To play with mammets and to tilt with lips: We must have bloody noses and crack'd crowns, And pass them current too. God's me, my horse! What sayst thou, Kate? what wouldst thou have with me? 100
Lady P. Do you not love me? do you not, indeed? Well, do not, then; for since you love me not, I will not love myself. Do you not love me? Nay, tell me if you speak in jest or no. 104
Hot. Come, wilt thou see me ride? And when I am o' horseback, I will swear I love thee infinitely. But hark you, Kate; I must not have you henceforth question me 108 Whither I go, nor reason whereabout. Whither I must, I must; and, to conclude, This evening must I leave you, gentle Kate. I know you wise; but yet no further wise 112 Than Harry Percy's wife: constant you are, But yet a woman: and for secrecy, No lady closer; for I well believe Thou wilt not utter what thou dost not know; ​And so far will I trust thee, gentle Kate. 117
Lady P. How! so far?
Hot. Not an inch further. But, hark you, Kate; Whither I go, thither shall you go too; 120 To-day will I set forth, to-morrow you. Will this content you, Kate?
Lady P. It must, of force.
Exeunt.
Scene Four
[Eastcheap. The Boar's Head Tavern]
Enter Prince and Poins.
Prince. Ned, prithee, come out of that fat room, and lend me thy hand to laugh a little.
Poins. Where hast been, Hal? 3
Prince. With three or four loggerheads a- mongst three or four score hogsheads. I have sounded the very base string of humility. Sir- rah, I am sworn brother to a leash of drawers, and can call them all by their christen names, as Tom, Dick, and Francis. They take it already upon their salvation, that though I be but Prince of Wales, yet I am the king of courtesy; and tell me flatly I am no proud Jack, like Falstaff, but a Corinthian, a lad of mettle, a good boy,—by the Lord, so they call me,—and when I am king of England, I shall command all the good lads in Eastcheap. They call drinking deep, dyeing scarlet; and when you breathe in your watering, they cry 'hem!' and bid you play it off. To ​conclude, I am so good a proficient in one quarter of an hour, that I can drink with any tinker in his own language during my life. I tell thee, Ned, thou hast lost much honour that thou wert not with me in this action. But, sweet Ned,—to sweeten which name of Ned, I give thee this pennyworth of sugar, clapped even now into my hand by an underskinker, one that never spake other English in his life than—'Eight shillings and sixpence,' and—'You are welcome,' with this shrill addition,—'Anon, anon, sir! Score a pint of bastard in the Half-moon,' or so. But, Ned, to drive away the time till Falstaff come, I prithee do thou stand in some by-room, while I question my puny drawer to what end he gave me the sugar; and do thou never leave calling 'Francis!' that his tale to me may be nothing but 'Anon.' Step aside, and I'll show thee a precedent. 37
Poins. Francis!
Prince. Thou art perfect.
Poins. Francis! [Exit Poins.]
Enter Drawer [Francis].
Fran. Anon, anon, sir. Look down into the Pomgarnet, Ralph.
Prince. Come hither, Francis.
Fran. My lord. 44
Prince. How long hast thou to serve, Francis?
Fran. Forsooth, five years, and as much as to—
Poins [within.] Francis!
​Fran. Anon, anon, sir. 48
Prince. Five years! by'r lady a long lease for the clinking of pewter. But, Francis, darest thou be so valiant as to play the coward with thy indenture and show it a fair pair of heels and run from it? 53
Fran. O Lord, sir! I'll be sworn upon all the books in England, I could find in my heart—
Poins [within.] Francis! 56
Fran. Anon, sir.
Prince. How old art thou, Francis?
Fran. Let me see—about Michaelmas next I shall be— 60
Poins [within.] Francis!
Fran. Anon, sir. Pray you, stay a little, my lord.
Prince. Nay, but hark you, Francis. For the sugar thou gavest me, 'twas a pennyworth, was 't not? 66
Fran. O Lord, sir! I would it had been two.
Prince. I will give thee for it a thousand pound: ask me when thou wilt and thou shalt have it.
Poins [within.] Francis!
Fran. Anon, anon. 72
Prince. Anon, Francis? No, Francis; but to-morrow, Francis; or, Francis, o' Thurs- day; or, indeed, Francis, when thou wilt. But, Francis! 76
Fran. My lord?
Prince. Wilt thou rob this leathern-jerkin, crystal-button, not-pated, agate-ring, puke- ​stocking, caddis-garter, smooth-tongue, Spanish-pouch,—81
Fran. O Lord, sir, who do you mean?
Prince. Why then, your brown bastard is your only drink; for, look you, Francis, your white canvas doublet will sully. In Barbary, sir, it cannot come to so much.
Fran. What, sir?
Poins [within.] Francis! 88
Prince. Away, you rogue! Dost thou not hear them call?
Here they both call him; the Drawer stands amazed, not knowing which way to go.
Enter Vintner.
Vint. What! standest thou still, and hearest such a calling? Look to the guests within. [Exit Drawer.] My lord, old Sir John, with half a dozen more, are at the door: shall I let them in?
Prince. Let them alone awhile, and then open the door. [Exit Vintner.] Poins! 97
Enter Poins.
Poins. Anon, anon, sir.
Prince. Sirrah, Falstaff and the rest of the thieves are at the door: shall we be merry? 100
Poins. As merry as crickets, my lad. But hark ye; what cunning match have you made with this jest of the drawer? come, what's the issue? 104
Prince. I am now of all humours that have ​show'd themselves humours since the old days of goodman Adam to the pupil age of this present twelve o'clock at midnight. [Drawer crosses the stage, with bottles.] What's o'clock, Francis? 110
Fran. Anon, anon, sir. [Exit.]
Prince. That ever this fellow should have fewer words than a parrot, and yet the son of a woman! His industry is up-stairs and down- stairs; his eloquence the parcel of a reckoning. I am not yet of Percy's mind, the Hotspur of the North; he that kills me some six or seven dozen of Scots at a breakfast, washes his hands, and says to his wife, 'Fie upon this quiet life! I want work.' 'O my sweet Harry,' says she, 'how many hast thou killed to-day ?' 'Give my roan horse a drench,' says he, and answers, 'Some fourteen,' an hour after, 'a trifle, a trifle.' I prithee call in Falstaff: I'll play Percy, and that damned brawn shall play Dame Mortimer his wife. 'Rivo!' says the drunkard. Call in ribs, call in tallow. 127
Enter Falstaff, [Bardolph, Peto, and Gadshill. The Drawer follows, with wine.]
Poins. Welcome, Jack: where hast thou been?
Fal. A plague of all cowards, I say, and a vengeance too! marry, and amen! Give me a cup of sack, boy. Ere I lead this life long, I'll sew nether-stocks and mend them and foot them too. A plague of all cowards! Give me a ​cup of sack, rogue.—Is there no virtue extant?
He drinketh.
Prince. Didst thou never see Titan kiss a dish of butter—pitiful-hearted Titan—that melted at the sweet tale of the sun? if thou didst, then behold that compound. 138
Fal. You rogue, here's lime in this sack too: there is nothing but roguery to be found in villainous man: yet a coward is worse than a cup of sack with lime in it, a villainous coward! Go thy ways, old Jack; die when thou wilt. If man- hood, good manhood, be not forgot upon the face of the earth, then am I a shotten herring. There live not three good men unhanged in England, and one of them is fat and grows old: God help the while! a bad world, I say. I would I were a weaver; I could sing psalms or any- thing. A plague of all cowards, I say still.
Prince. How now, wool-sack! what mutter you? 152
Fal. A king's son! If I do not beat thee out of thy kingdom with a dagger of lath, and drive all thy subjects afore thee like a flock of wild geese, I'll never wear hair on my face more. You Prince of Wales! 157
Prince. Why, you whoreson round man, what's the matter?
Fal. Are you not a coward? answer me to that; and Poins there? 161
Poins. 'Zounds! ye fat paunch, an ye call me coward, by the Lord, I'll stab thee.
Fal. I call thee coward! I'll see thee damned ​ere I call thee coward; but I would give a thou- sand pound I could run as fast as thou canst. You are straight enough in the shoulders; you care not who sees your back: call you that back- ing of your friends? A plague upon such back- ing! give me them that will face me. Give me a cup of sack: I am a rogue if I drunk to- day. 172
Prince. O villain! thy lips are scarce wiped since thou drunkest last.
Fal. All's one for that.He drinketh. A plague of all cowards, still say I. 176
Prince. What's the matter?
Fal. What's the matter? there be four of us here have ta'en a thousand pound this day morning. 180
Prince. Where is it, Jack? where is it?
Fal. Where is it! taken from us it is: a hun- dred upon poor four of us.
Prince. What, a hundred, man? 184
Fal. I am a rogue, if I were not at half-sword with a dozen of them two hours together. I have 'scap'd by miracle. I am eight times thrust through the doublet, four through the hose; my buckler cut through and through; my sword hacked like a hand-saw: ecce signum! I never dealt better since I was a man: all would not do. A plague of all cowards! Let them speak: if they speak more or less than truth, they are villains and the sons of darkness.
Prince. Speak, sirs; how was it?
Gads. We four set upon some dozen,— 196
Fal. Sixteen, at least, my lord.
​Gads. And bound them.
Peto. No, no, they were not bound.
Fal. You rogue, they were bound, every man of them; or I am a Jew else, an Ebrew Jew.
Gads. As we were sharing, some six or seven fresh men set upon us,—204
Fal. And unbound the rest, and then come in the other.
Prince. What, fought ye with them all?
Fal. All! I know not what ye call all; but if I fought not with fifty of them, I am a bunch of radish: if there were not two or three and fifty upon poor old Jack, then am I no two-legged creature. 212
Prince. Pray God you have not murdered some of them.
Fal. Nay, that's past praying for: I have peppered two of them: two I am sure I have paid, two rogues in buckram suits. I tell thee what, Hal, if I tell thee a lie, spit in my face, call me horse. Thou knowest my old ward; here I lay, and thus I bore my point. Four rogues in buckram let drive at me,—221
Prince. What, four? thou saidst but two even now.
Fal. Four, Hal; I told thee four. 224
Poins. Ay, ay, he said four.
Fal. These four came all a-front, and mainly thrust at me. I made me no more ado but took all their seven points in my target, thus. 228
​Prince. Seven? why, there were but four even now.
Fal. In buckram?
Poins. Ay, four, in buckram suits. 232
Fal. Seven, by these hilts, or I am a villain else.
Prince. Prithee, let him alone; we shall have more anon. 236
Fal. Dost thou hear me, Hal?
Prince. Ay, and mark thee too, Jack.
Fal. Do so, for it is worth the listening to. These nine in buckram that I told thee of,— 240
Prince. So, two more already.
Fal. Their points being broken,—
Poins. Down fell their hose.
Fal. Began to give me ground; but I fol- lowed me close, came in foot and hand, and with a thought seven of the eleven I paid.
Prince. O monstrous! eleven buckram men grown out of two. 248
Fal. But, as the devil would have it, three misbegotten knaves in Kendal-green came at my back and let drive at me; for it was so dark, Hal, that thou couldst not see thy hand. 252
Prince. These lies are like the father that be- gets them; gross as a mountain, open, palpable. Why, thou clay-brained guts, thou knotty-pated fool, thou whoreson, obscene, greasy tallow- ketch,— 257
Fal. What, art thou mad? art thou mad? is not the truth the truth?
Prince. Why, how couldst thou know these ​men in Kendal-green, when it was so dark thou couldst not see thy hand? come, tell us your reason: what sayest thou to this? 263
Poins. Come, your reason, Jack, your reason.
Fal. What, upon compulsion? 'Zounds! an I were at the strappado, or all the racks in the world, I would not tell you on compulsion. Give you a reason on compulsion! if reasons were as plenty as blackberries I would give no man a reason upon compulsion, I. 270
Prince. I'll be no longer guilty of this sin: this sanguine coward, this bed-presser, this horseback-breaker, this huge hill of flesh;— 273
Fal. 'Sblood, you starveling, you elf-skin, you dried neat's-tongue, you bull's pizzle, you stock- fish! O! for breath to utter what is like thee; you tailor's yard, you sheath, you bow-case, you vile standing-tuck,— 278
Prince. Well, breathe awhile, and then to it again; and when thou hast tired thyself in base comparisons, hear me speak but this. 281
Poins. Mark, Jack.
Prince. We two saw you four set on four and you bound them, and were masters of their wealth. Mark now, how a plain tale shall put you down. Then did we two set on you four, and, with a word, out-faced you from your prize, and have it; yea, and can show it you here in the house. And, Falstaff, you carried your guts away as nimbly, with as quick dexterity, and roared for mercy, and still ran and roared, as ever I ​heard bull-calf. What a slave art thou, to hack thy sword as thou hast done, and then say it was in fight! What trick, what device, what starting-hole canst thou now find out to hide thee from this open and apparent shame? 296
Poins. Come, let's hear, Jack; what trick hast thou now?
Fal. By the Lord, I knew ye as well as he that made ye. Why, hear you, my masters: was it for me to kill the heir-apparent? Should I turn upon the true prince? Why, thou knowest I am as valiant as Hercules; but beware instinct: the lion will not touch the true prince. Instinct is a great matter, I was a coward on instinct. I shall think the better of myself and thee during my life; I for a valiant lion, and thou for a true prince. But, by the Lord, lads, I am glad you have the money. Hostess, clap to the doors: watch to-night, pray to-morrow. Gallants, lads, boys, hearts of gold, all the titles of good fellow- ship come to you! What! shall we be merry? shall we have a play extempore? 313
Prince. Content; and the argument shall be thy running away.
Fal. Ah! no more of that, Hal, an thou lovest me! 317
Enter Hostess.
Host. O Jesu! my lord the prince!
Prince. How now, my lady the hostess! what sayest thou to me? 320
Host. Marry, my lord, there is a nobleman of the court at door would speak with you: he says he comes from your father.
​Prince. Give him as much as will make him a royal man, and send him back again to my mother.
Fal. What manner of man is he? 326
Host. An old man.
Fal. What doth gravity out of his bed at midnight? Shall I give him his answer?
Prince. Prithee, do, Jack. 330
Fal. Faith, and I'll send him packing. Exit.
Prince. Now, sirs: by'r lady, you fought fair; so did you, Peto; so did you, Bardolph: you are lions too, you ran away upon instinct, you will not touch the true prince; no, fie!
Bard. Faith, I ran when I saw others run. 336
Prince. Faith, tell me now in earnest, how came Falstaff's sword so hacked?
Peto. Why he hacked it with his dagger, and said he would swear truth out of England but he would make you believe it was done in fight, and persuaded us to do the like. 342
Bard. Yea, and to tickle our noses with spear-grass to make them bleed, and then to be- slubber our garments with it and swear it was the blood of true men. I did that I did not this seven year before; I blushed to hear his monstrous devices. 348
Prince. O villain! thou stolest a cup of sack eighteen years ago, and wert taken with the manner, and ever since thou hast blushed ex- tempore. Thou hadst fire and sword on thy side, and yet thou rannest away. What instinct hadst thou for it.
Bard. [Pointing to his own face.] My lord, do ​you see these meteors? do you behold these exhalations? 357
Prince. I do.
Bard. What think you they portend?
Prince. Hot livers and cold purses. 360
Bard. Choler, my lord, if rightly taken.
Prince. No, if rightly taken, halter.—
Enter Falstaff.
Here comes lean Jack, here comes bare-bone.— How now, my sweet creature of bombast! How long is 't ago, Jack, since thou sawest thine own knee? 366
Fal. My own knee! When I was about thy years, Hal, I was not an eagle's talon in the waist; I could have crept into any alderman's thumb-ring. A plague of sighing and grief! it blows a man up like a bladder. There's villain- ous news abroad: here was Sir John Bracy from your father: you must to the court in the morn- ing. That same mad fellow of the north, Percy, and he of Wales, that gave Amaimon the basti- nado and made Lucifer cuckold, and swore the devil his true liegeman upon the cross of a Welsh hook—what a plague call you him? 378
Poins. O, Glendower.
Fal. Owen, Owen, the same; and his son-in- law Mortimer; and old Northumberland; and that sprightly Scot of Scots, Douglas, that runs o' horseback up a hill perpendicular.
Prince. He that rides at high speed and with his pistol kills a sparrow flying. 385
​Fal. You have hit it.
Prince. So did he never the sparrow.
Fal. Well, that rascal hath good mettle in him; he will not run. 389
Prince. Why, what a rascal art thou then to praise him so for running!
Fal. O' horseback, ye cuckoo! but, afoot he will not budge a foot. 393
Prince. Yes, Jack, upon instinct.
Fal. I grant ye, upon instinct. Well, he is there too, and one Mordake, and a thousand blue-caps more. Worcester is stolen away to- night; thy father's beard is turned white with the news: you may buy land now as cheap as stinking mackerel. 400
Prince. Why then, it is like, if there come a hot June and this civil buffeting hold, we shall buy maidenheads as they buy hob-nails, by the hundreds, 404
Fal. By the mass, lad, thou sayest true; it is like we shall have good trading that way. But tell me, Hal, art thou not horribly afeard? thou being heir apparent, could the world pick thee out three such enemies again as that fiend Douglas, that spirit Percy, and that devil Glen- dower? Art thou not horribly afraid? doth not thy blood thrill at it? 412
Prince. Not a whit, i' faith; I lack some of thy instinct.
Fal. Well, thou wilt be horribly chid to- morrow when thou comest to thy father: if thou love me, practise an answer. 417
​Prince. Do thou stand for my father, and examine me upon the particulars of my life.
Fal. Shall I? content: this chair shall be my state, this dagger my sceptre, and this cushion my crown. 422
Prince. Thy state is taken for a joint-stool, thy golden sceptre for a leaden dagger, and thy precious rich crown for a pitiful bald crown! 425
Fal. Well, an the fire of grace be not quite out of thee, now shalt thou be moved. Give me a cup of sack to make mine eyes look red, that it may be thought I have wept; for I must speak in passion, and I will do it in King Cambyses' vein.
Prince. Well, here is my leg.
Fal. And here is my speech. Stand aside, nobility. 434
Host. O Jesu! This is excellent sport, i' faith!
Fal. Weep not, sweet queen, for trickling tears are vain. 436
Host. O, the father! how he holds his coun- tenance.
Fal. For God's sake, lords, convey my tristful queen. For tears do stop the flood-gates of her eyes. 440
Host. O Jesu! he doth it as like one of these harlotry players as ever I see!
Fal. Peace, good pint-pot! peace, good tickle- brain! [Bardolph conveys the Hostess from the stage.] Harry, I do not only marvel where thou spendest thy time, but also how thou art accom- ​panied: for though the camomile, the more it is trodden on the faster it grows, yet youth, the more it is wasted the sooner it wears: That thou art my son, I have partly thy mother's word, part- ly my own opinion; but chiefly, a villainous trick of thine eye and a foolish hanging of thy nether lip, that doth warrant me. If then thou be son to me, here lies the point; why, being son to me, art thou so pointed at? Shall the blessed sun of heaven prove a micher and eat blackberries? a question not to be asked. Shall the son of Eng- land prove a thief and take purses? a question to be asked. There is a thing, Harry, which thou hast often heard of, and it is known to many in our land by the name of pitch: this pitch, as an- cient writers do report, doth defile; so doth the company thou keepest; for, Harry, now I do not- speak to thee in drink, but in tears, not in plea- sure but in passion, not in words only, but in woes also. And yet there is a virtuous man whom I have often noted in thy company, but I know not his name. 467
Prince. What manner of man, an it like your majesty?
Fal. A goodly portly man, i' faith, and a cor- pulent; of a cheerful look, a pleasing eye, and a most noble carriage; and, as I think, his age some fifty, or by'r lady, inclining to threescore; and now I remember me, his name is Falstaff: if that man should be lewdly given, he deceiveth me; for, Harry, I see virtue in his looks. If then the tree may be known by the fruit, as the fruit ​by the tree, then, peremptorily I speak it, there is virtue in that Falstaff: him keep with, the rest banish. And tell me now, thou naughty varlet, tell me, where hast thou been this month?
Prince. Dost thou speak like a king? Do thou stand for me, and I'll play my father. 483
Fal. Depose me? if thou dost it half so gravely, so majestically, both in word and matter, hang me up by the heels for a rabbit- sucker or a poulter's hare.
Prince. Well, here I am set. 488
Fal. And here I stand. Judge, my masters.
Prince. Now, Harry! whence come you?
Fal. My noble lord, from Eastcheap.
Prince. The complaints I hear of thee are grievous. 493
Fal. 'Sblood, my lord, they are false! [Aside to Prince.] Nay, I'll tickle ye for a young prince, i' faith.
Prince. Swearest thou, ungracious boy? hence- forth ne'er look on me. Thou art violently car- ried away from grace: there is a devil haunts thee in the likeness of an old fat man; a tun of man is thy companion. Why dost thou con- verse with that trunk of humours, that bolting- hutch of beastliness, that swoln parcel of dropsies, that huge bombard of sack, that stuffed cloak- bag of guts, that roasted Manningtree ox with the pudding in his belly, that reverend vice, that grey iniquity, that father ruffian, that vanity in ​years? Wherein is he good but to taste sack and drink it? wherein neat and cleanly but to carve a capon and cat it? wherein cunning but in craft? wherein crafty but in villainy? wherein villainous but in all things? wherein worthy but in nothing? 512
Fal. I would your Grace would take me with you: whom means your Grace?
Prince. That villainous abominable misleader of youth, Falstaff, that old white-bearded Satan.
Fal. My lord, the man I know. 517
Prince. I know thou dost.
Fal. But to say I know more harm in him than in myself were to say more than I know. That he is old, the more the pity, his white hairs do witness it; but that he is, saving your reverence, a whoremaster, that I utterly deny. If sack and sugar be a fault, God help the wicked! If to be old and merry be a sin, then many an old host that I know is damned: if to be fat be to be hated, then Pharaoh's lean kine are to be loved. No, my good lord; banish Peto, banish Bardolph, banish Poins; but for sweet Jack Falstaff, kind Jack Falstaff, true Jack Fal- staff, valiant Jack Falstaff, and therefore more valiant, being, as he is, old Jack Falstaff, banish not him thy Harry's company: banish not him thy Harry's company: banish plump Jack, and banish all the world. 535
Prince. I do, I will.
Enter Bardolph, running.
Bard. O! my lord, my lord, the sheriff with a most monstrous watch is at the door.
Fal. Out, ye rogue! Play out the play: I have much to say in the behalf of that Falstaff.
Enter the Hostess.
Host. O Jesu! my lord, my lord! 541
Prince. Heigh, heigh! the devil rides upon a fiddle-stick: what's the matter?
Host. The sheriff and all the watch are at the door: they are come to search the house. Shall I let them in? 546
Fal. Dost thou hear, Hal? never call a true piece of gold a counterfeit. Thou art essentially mad without seeming so. 549
Prince. And thou a natural coward without instinct.
Fal. I deny your major. If you will deny the sheriff, so; if not, let him enter: if I become not a cart as well as another man, a plague on my bringing up! I hope I shall as soon be strangled with a halter as another. 556
Prince. Go, hide thee behind the arras: the rest walk up above. Now, my masters, for a true face and good conscience.
Fal. Both which I have had; but their date is out, and therefore I'll hide me.Exit. 561
Prince. Call in the sheriff.
Enter the Sheriff and the Carrier.
Now, master sheriff, what's your will with me?
Sher. First, pardon me, my lord. A hue and cry 564 Hath follow'd certain men unto this house.
Prince. What men?
Sher. One of them is well known, my gracious lord, A gross fat man.
Car.As fat as butter. 568
Prince. The man, I do assure you, is not here, For I myself at this time have employ'd him. And, sheriff, I will engage my word to thee, That I will, by to-morrow dinner-time, 572 Send him to answer thee, or any man, For anything he shall be charg'd withal: And so let me entreat you leave the house.
Sher. I will, my lord. There are two gentlemen 576 Have in this robbery lost three hundred marks.
Prince. It may be so: if he have robb'd these men, He shall be answerable; and so farewell.
Sher. Good night, my noble lord. 580
Prince. I think it is good morrow, is it not?
Sher. Indeed, my lord, I think it be two o'clock.
Exit [with Carrier.]
Prince. This oily rascal is known as well as Paul's. Go, call him forth. 584
Peto. Falstaff! fast asleep behind the arras, and snorting like a horse.
Prince. Hark, how hard he fetches breath. Search his pockets. He searcheth his pockets, and findeth certain papers. What hast thou found? 590
Peto. Nothing but papers, my lord.
​Prince. Let's see what they be: read them.
Peto. "Item, A Capon . . . . . . 2s. 2d. Item, Sauce . . . . . . . . . 4d. Item, Sack, two gallons . 5s. 8d. Item, Anchovies and sack after supper . . . . . . 2s. 6d. Item, Bread . . . . . . . . . ob."
Prince. O monstrous! but one half-penny- worth of bread to this intolerable deal of sack! What there is else, keep close; we'll read it at more advantage. There let him sleep till day. I'll to the court in the morning. We must all to the wars, and thy place shall be honourable. I'll procure this fat rogue a charge of foot; and, I know, his death will be a march of twelve- score. The money shall be paid back again with advantage. Be with me betimes in the morning; and so good morrow, Peto. 608
Peto. Good morrow, good my lord. Exeunt.
Footnotes to Act II
Scene One
​2 Charles' Wain; cf. n. ​6 Cut: slang name for a horse with a docked tail 7 flocks: tufts of wool point: head of the saddle 8 wrung: galled withers: neck out of all cess: beyond all reckoning 9 dank: mouldy 10 next: most direct, surest 11 bots: disease of horses caused by worms 17 tench; cf. n. 19 king christen: Christian king 22 jordan: chamber-pot 23 chamber-lie: urine loach: a fish that breeds several times a year 27 razes: roots 28 Charing-cross; cf. n. ​51 charge: baggage 52 chamberlain: servant in charge of chambers 59 holds current: proves true 60 franklin: freeholder wild: weald, uncultivated country ​61 mark: 13s. 4d., about $3.35 67 St. Nicholas' clerks: thieves; cf. n. 77 Troyans: a cant name for rioters and thieves 81 foot-land-rakers, etc.; cf. n. 91 boots: booty ​94 liquored; cf. n. 95 as in a castle: in perfect security 96 receipt of fern-seed; cf. n. 98 beholding: obliged
101 purchase: plunder
Scene Two
​3 gummed velvet; cf. n. 4 close: out of sight ​14 squire: foot-rule 20 medicines: love potions ​43 colt: make a fool of 50 peach: turn informer 53 forward: bold 56 setter: the one who set the match; cf. I. ii. 118 58 Case ye: put on your masks ​75 proof: test 84 happy man be his dole: happiness be his portion, or, luck be with us 92 whoreson: miserable 97 gorbellied: fat-paunched 98 chuffs: misers 99 bacons: rustics ​101 jure: a verb of Falstaff's own making 104 argument: subject for conversation
Scene Three
​1 Cf. n. 15 unsorted: ill-chosen 18 hind: servant, slave ​37 divide myself; cf. n.
41 Kate; cf. n. 46 stomach: appetite 50-51 Cf. n. 51 curst: perverse 54 manage: direction 56 retires: retreats 57 palisadoes: sharp stakes driven into the ground as defence against cavalry frontiers: outworks; cf. I. iii. 19 ​58 basilisks; cf. n. 60 currents: occurrences heady: headlong 67 hest: command 76 Esperance: the motto of the Percy family 83 spleen: caprice ​88 line: strengthen 97 mammets: dolls 98 crack'd crowns; cf. n. ​
Scene Four
​1 fat room: room containing vats (?), or close, stuffy room 7 leash: three on a string drawers: waiters 9 take it . . . upon: swear by 13 Corinthian: good sport 17 breathe . . . watering: stop to breathe while drinking 18 play: toss ​21 tinker; cf. n. 26 underskinker: under-tapster 30 bastard: sweet Spanish wine Half-moon: name of a room in the inn 37 precedent: example 42 Pomgarnet: Pomegranate; a room in the inn ​59 Michaelmas; cf. n. 79 not-pated: nut-pated, i.e., closely cropped head puke: fine wool ​80 caddis: worsted ribbon Spanish-pouch: an indefinite term of reproach 83 ff.; cf. n. 102 match: bargain ​107 pupil age: youthful time 115 parcel of a reckoning: an item on a bill 122 drench: bran and water 125 brawn; cf. n.
126 'Rivo': a Spanish (?) exclamation of drunkards 132 nether-stocks: short stockings ​134 virtue: courage 135 Titan, etc.; cf. n.
145 shotten herring: a herring that has cast its roe 149 weaver; cf. n. ​185 at half-sword: at close quarters 190 ecce signum: behold the proof ​217 paid: killed 226 mainly: strongly (cf. might and main) 228 target: shield ​242 points; cf. n. 250 Kendal-green; cf. n. 255 knotty-pated: thick-headed 256 tallow-ketch: tub of tallow ​266 strappado; cf. n. 268 reasons; cf. n. 272 sanguine: red-faced 275 neat's-tongue: ox tongue stock-fish: dried cod 278 standing-tuck: small rapier standing on end 287 out-faced: frightened ​295 starting-hole: subterfuge (lit. hunted animal's shelter) ​325 royal; cf. n. 350 taken . . . manner: taken in the act 355-362 Cf. n. ​357 exhalations: meteors 364 bombast: cotton stuffing 375 Amaimon: a devil bastinado: a cudgelling 378 Welsh hook: weapon resembling a halberd ​397 blue-caps: Scotchmen (so-called from their blue bonnets) ​421 state: throne of state 430 passion: sorrow Cambyses'; cf. n. 432 leg: bow 439 tristful: sorrowful 442 harlotry: rascally 443 tickle-brain: a strong liquor; cf. n. 444-467 Cf. n. ​446 camomile: a strong-scented herb 451 nether: lower 455 micher: truant ​486-487 Cf. n. 495 Cf. n. 501 trunk of humours: chest full of caprices bolting-hutch: bin for sifting meat 503 bombard: large leather vessel for holding liquor cloak-bag: portmanteau 504 Manningtree: cf. n. ​513 take me with you: let me follow your meaning 522 saving . . . reverence: an apologetic phrase introducing a remark that might offend the hearer 527 Cf. n. ​547-549 Cf. n. 552 major: major premise 554 cart: cart used for taking criminals to the gallows 557 arras: hanging screen of tapestry placed around the walls of a room 557-558 Cf. n. ​583 Paul's: St. Paul's Cathedral ​598 ob.: obolus = half-penny 604 charge of foot: command of infantry 607 advantage: interest