# A Compendium of the Theological Writings of Emanuel Swedenborg/27 Marriage

MARRIAGE.
It is evident from the book of Creation, and at the same time from the Lord's words, that from creation there was given to man and woman an inclination and also a capability of conjunction, as into one. In the book of Creation, which is called Genesis, we read: "Jehovah God builded the rib which he had taken from the man into a woman, and brought her to the man. And the man said, This now is bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh. She shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife; and they shall be one flesh" (ii. 22-24). The Lord also says the same in Matthew:—"Have ye not read, that He which made them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh" (xix, 4-6). It is clear from these passages that the woman was created from the man (vir), and that each has an inclination and capability of re-uniting themselves into one. That the re-union is into one man (homo) is also plain from the book of Creation, where both together are called man (homo); for we read:—In the day that God created man (homo), . . . a male and a female created He them, . . . and called their name man (homo)" (v. 1, 2). It is said, "He called their name Adam;" but Adam and man in the Hebrew tongue are one word. They are both together called man too in chap. i. 27, and iii. 22, 23, 24, of the same book. One man is also signified by one flesh; as is evident from passages in the Word where all flesh is mentioned, meaning all mankind. (C. L. n. 156.)
The Nature and Origin op Marriage.
The origin of love truly conjugial is the love of the Lord towards the church. Hence in the Word the Lord is called the ​Bridegroom, and Husband, and the church the bride, and wife. From this marriage the church is a church, in general and in particular. The church in particular is a man in whom the church exists. It is therefore evident, that the conjunction of the Lord with the man of the church is the very origin of love truly conjugial. But it shall be explained how that conjunction can be the origin. The conjunction of the Lord with the man of the church is the conjunction of good and truth. Good is from the Lord, and truth is with man; and from this comes the conjunction which is called the heavenly marriage. From this marriage love truly conjugial arises between a wedded pair who are in such conjunction with the Lord. From this it is plain, first, that love truly conjugial is from the Lord alone; and that it is with those who are in the conjunction of good and truth from the Lord. Because this conjunction is reciprocal, it is described by the Lord that "they are in Him and He in them" (John xiv. 20). This conjunction or this marriage was thus established from creation; the man was so created that he might be an understanding of truth, and the woman, that she might be an affection of good, that accordingly the man might be truth and the woman good. When the understanding of truth which is with the man makes one with the affection of good which is with the woman, there is a conjunction of the two minds into one. This conjunction is the spiritual marriage from which conjugial love descends; for when two minds are so conjoined that they become as one mind, there is love between them. This love, which is the love of spiritual marriage, when it descends into the body becomes the love of natural marriage. That this is so any one if he will may clearly perceive. A married pair who mutually and reciprocally love each other inwardly, in mind, also mutually and reciprocally love each other as to their bodies. It is known, that all love descends into the body from an affection of the mind; and that without this origin no love exists. (A. E. n. 983.)
When good united to truth flows down from the Lord into a lower sphere it forms a union of minds; when into a still lower, it forms a marriage. Actual conjugial love is therefore a union of minds from good united to truth from the Lord. (A. C. n. 2728.)
There cannot be wisdom in man except by the love of being wise. A man can by no means be wise if this love is taken away. Wisdom from this love is meant by the truth of good, or truth from good. But when a man has obtained wisdom and loves it in himself, or loves himself on account of it, he forms a
​love which is the love of wisdom, and is meant by the good of truth, or good from that truth. With man there are therefore two loves, of which the one that is prior is the love of being wise; and the other, which comes after, is the love of wisdom. But this if it remains with a man is an evil love; and is called pride, or the love of his own intelligence. It was therefore provided from creation that this love should be taken out of the man, lest it destroy him, and be assigned to the woman; that it might become conjugial love, which makes him whole again. (C. L. n. 88.)
The Holiness of Marriage.
How holy marriages are in themselves, that is from creation, may be seen from the fact that they are the seminaries of the human race, and as the angelic heaven is from the human race, are also the seminaries of heaven; that consequently by marriages not only the earths but also the heavens are filled with inhabitants. And as the human race and a heaven therefrom wherein the very Divine may dwell as in its own, and as it were in itself, is the end of the whole creation, and their procreation according to Divine order is established by marriages, it is manifest how holy they are in themselves, thus from creation, and how holy they ought therefore to be kept. The earth indeed may be filled with inhabitants by fornications and adulteries as well as by marriages; but not heaven. The reason is that hell is from adulteries, and heaven from marriages. . . . When the procreations of the human race are effected through marriages in which the holy love of good and truth from the Lord reigns, then it is done on earth as in the heavens, and the kingdom of the Lord on earth corresponds to the kingdom of the Lord in the heavens. For the heavens consist of societies arranged according to all varieties of affections, celestial and spiritual; from which arrangement arises the form of heaven, which pre-eminently surpasses all the forms in the universe. A similar form would exist on earth if the procreations there were effected by marriages in which love truly conjugial reigns; for then how many families soever should successively descend from one father, they would come forth so many images of the societies of heaven, in a similar variety. Families would then be as fruitful trees of various species, from which there should spring as many gardens, in each its own species of fruit, which gardens taken together should present the form of a heavenly paradise. But this is said comparatively, because trees signify men of the church, gardens intelligence, fruits the good of life, and a paradise heaven. It has been told me from heaven that with the most ancients, of ​whom the first church on this earth was constituted,—which was called also by ancient writers the golden age,—there was such a correspondence of the families on earth with the societies of heaven; for the reason that love to the Lord, mutual love, innocence, peace, wisdom, and chastity in marriages reigned. And it was also told me from heaven, that they were then interiorly horrified at adulteries, as at the abominable things of hell. (A. E. n. 988.)
The reason why the love of marriage is so holy and so heavenly is, that it begins from the Lord Himself in the inmosts of man, and descends according to order to the ultimates of the body, and so fills the whole man with heavenly love; and induces upon him a form of the Divine love, which is the form of heaven, and is an image of the Lord. (ib. n. 985.)
The Distinction of Sex is in the Spirit.
Since man lives as a man after death, and man is male and female, and the male is one and the female another, and they are so different that the one cannot be changed into the other, it follows that after death the male lives as a male, and the female lives as a female, each a spiritual man (homo). It is said that the male cannot be changed into female, nor the female into male, and that therefore after death the male is male, and the female is female; but as it is unknown in what the male and in what the female essentially consist, this shall here be briefly stated:—The distinction consists essentially in the fact that in the male the inmost is love, and its vestment is wisdom,—or what is the same, it is love overveiled with wisdom; and that in the female the inmost is that wisdom of the male, and its vestment is the love therefrom. But this love is feminine love, and is given by the Lord to the wife through the wisdom of the husband; and the former love is masculine love, and is the love of being wise, and is given by the Lord to the husband according to his reception of wisdom. It is from this that the male is the wisdom of love; and that the female is the love of that wisdom. There is therefore, from creation, implanted in each a love of conjunction into one. That the feminine is from the masculine, or that the woman was taken out of the man, is certain from these words in Genesis: Jehovah God. . . took out one of the ribs of the man and closed up the flesh instead thereof, and He builded the rib which He had taken out of the man into a woman, and now brought her unto the man. And the man said, This is bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh, hence she shall be called Woman (Isha), because she was taken out of the man (Ish) (ii. ​21-23). What is signified by the rib, and what by flesh, will be shown elsewhere.
It follows from this primitive formation that the male is born intellectual, and the female is born voluntary; or what is the same, that the male is born into an affection for knowing, understanding, and being wise, and the female into the love of conjoining herself with that affection in the male. And since the interiors form the exteriors to their likeness, and the masculine form is a form of intellect, and the feminine form is a form of the love of that intellect, hence it is that the male has a different face, a different voice, and a different body from the female; that is to, say, a harder face, a harsher voice, and a stronger body, and moreover a bearded chin; in general, a form less beautiful than the female. They differ also in bearing and in manners. In a word, nothing whatever is alike in them; and yet in the least things there is what is conjunctive. Nay, in the male the masculine is masculine in every even the least part of his body; and also in every idea of his thought, and in every particle of his affection. In like manner the feminine in the female. And as the one cannot therefore be changed into the other, it follows that the male is male, and the female is female after death. (C. L. n. 32, 33).
The Love of the Sex, and with those who come into Heaven Conjugial Love, remains after Death.
Because the male is then a male, and the female a female, and the masculine in the male is masculine entirely and in his every part, and likewise the feminine in the female, and as in their single, yea in their very minutest parts there is what is conjunctive, therefore the love of the sex remains with man (homo) after death. Now, because this that is conjunctive was implanted from creation, and therefore perpetually inheres, it follows that the one desires and breathes forth conjunction with- the other. Love in itself regarded is nothing else than a desire and hence an urging to conjunction; and conjugial love, to conjunction into one. For the male and female man were so created that from two they may become as one man, or one flesh; and when they ​become one, then taken together they are man (homo) in his fulness; but without this conjunction they are two, and each is as it were a divided or half-man. Since then this that is conjunctive lies inmostly concealed in the least things of the male, and in the least things of the female, and there is in their least things the faculty and desire after conjunction into one, it follows that the mutual and reciprocal love of the sex remains with men (homines) after death.
The love of the sex and conjugial love are mentioned [distinctively] because the love of the sex is different from conjugial love. The love of the sex pertains to the natural man, and conjugial love to the spiritual man. The natural man loves and desires only external conjunctions, and the pleasures of the body from them; but the spiritual man loves and desires internal conjunction, and the satisfactions of the spirit therefrom, and these he perceives are given with one wife, with whom he can be perpetually conjoined, more and more, into one; and by so much the more as he is thus conjoined does he perceive his satisfactions ascending in a like degree, and perceive them to be enduring to eternity; but the natural man has no thought of this. Hence it is said, that conjugial love remains after death, with those that come into heaven,—who are those that become spiritual on earth. (C. L. n. 37, 38.)
The love of the sex is love towards many and with many of the sex, but conjugial love is only toward one and with one of the sex, and love for many and with many is a natural love; for it is common with beasts and birds, and they are natural. But conjugial love is a spiritual love, and is proper and peculiar to men; because men were created and are therefore born to become spiritual. In so far then as a man becomes spiritual he puts off the love of the sex, and puts on conjugial love. In the beginning of marriage the love of the sex appears as if conjoined with conjugial love, but in the progress of marriage they are separated, and then with those who are spiritual the love of the sex is put away, and conjugial love instilled; but with those who are natural it is otherwise. It is clear now from what has been said that the love of the sex, because it is with many, and in itself is natural, yea animal, is impure and unchaste; and because it is vague and unlimited it is incontinent. But conjugial love is entirely different. (ib. n. 48.)
Marriages in the Heavens.
As heaven is from the human race, and the angels there are consequently of both sexes; and as it is of creation that the ​woman is for the man, and the man for the woman, thus that the one is the other's; and as with both this love is innate; it follows that there are marriages in the heavens as well as on earth. Yet the marriages in the heavens are very different from the marriages on earth.
In the heavens marriage is the conjunction of two in one mind. It shall first be explained what the nature of this conjunction is:—The mind consists of two parts, of which one is called the understanding, the other the will. When these two parts act as one they are called one mind. In heaven the husband acts the part which is called the understanding, and the wife the part which is called the will. When this conjunction, which is of the interiors, descends into the lower things that are of their body, it is perceived and felt as love. This love is conjugial love. It is plain from this that conjugial love derives its origin from the conjunction of two in one mind. This in heaven is called cohabitation; and it is said that they are not two, but one. For this reason a married pair in heaven are not called two, but one angel.
That there is such conjunction of husband and wife even in the inmosts, which are of their minds, comes from creation itself. For the man is born to be intellectual, thus to think from the understanding, and the woman is born to be voluntary, and thus to think from the will; and this is evident from the inclination or connate disposition of each, as also from their form. From disposition, in that the man acts from reason, and the woman from affection. From form, in that the man has a rougher and less beautiful face, a heavier voice, and harder body; and the woman a milder and more beautiful face, a more tender voice, and softer body. There is a similar difference between the understanding and the will, or between thought and affection; a similar difference also between truth and good, and between faith and love; for truth and faith are of the understanding, and good and love are of the will.
Every one, both man and woman, has an understanding and will; but yet in man the understanding predominates, and in woman the will predominates, and the character of the person is according to that which predominates. But in marriages in the heavens there is no predominance; for the will of the wife is also that of the husband, and the understanding of the husband is that also of the wife, since the one loves to will and to think as the other, thus mutually and reciprocally. Hence their conjunction in one. This conjunction is an actual conjunction; for the will of the wife enters into the understanding of the husband, and the understanding of the husband into the will of the wife, and this especially when they look each other in ​the face. For, as has often been stated above, there is a communication of thoughts and affections in the heavens, and especially of consort with consort, because they mutually love each other. From all this it may be seen what is the nature of the conjunction of minds which constitutes marriage and produces conjugial love in the heavens; namely, that it is that one wishes his own to be the other's, and so reciprocally.
I have been told by the angels, that in so far as a married pair are in such conjunction they are in conjugial love; and in so far they are at the same time in intelligence, wisdom, and happiness. For the reason that Divine good and Divine truth, from which is all intelligence, wisdom, and happiness, flow principally into conjugial love. Consequently, that conjugial love is the very plane of Divine influx, because it is at the same time the marriage of truth and good. (H. H. n. 366-370.)
It has been granted me also to see how they are united in marriage in the heavens. Everywhere in heaven those that are alike are consociated, and the unlike are dissociated. Hence each society of heaven consists of those that are of similar character; like are brought to like, not of themselves but of the Lord. In the same manner consort is drawn to consort, whose minds can be conjoined in one. They therefore inmostly love each other at first sight, see themselves to be consorts, and enter into marriage. Thus it is that all the marriages of heaven are from the Lord alone. They also celebrate a festival, which is attended by a numerous assemblage. The festivities are different in different societies. (H. H. n. 383.)
The Lord's Words concerning Marriage in the Heavenly World.
In the Evangelists we read these words:—"Certain of the Sadducees, who say that there is no resurrection, asked Jesus, saying. Master, Moses wrote, . . . If any man's brother die, having a wife, and . . without children, his brother shall take his wife and raise up seed unto his brother. Now there were seven brethren, one after the other of whom took a wife; but they died without children. At last the woman died also. Therefore, in the resurrection, whose wife of them is she? And Jesus, answering, said unto them, The sons of this age marry and are given in marriage, but they which shall be accounted worthy to attain another age, and the resurrection from the dead, shall neither marry nor be given in marriage; neither can they die any more; for they are like unto the angels, and are sons of God, being sons of the resurrection. But that the dead rise again, even Moses ​showed at the bush, when he calleth the Lord the God of Abraham, and the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob. For He is not the God of the dead, but of the living; for all live unto Him." (Luke XX. 27-38; Matt. xxii. 23-33; Mark xii. 18-27.) There are two things which the Lord taught by these words:—First, that man rises again after death; and secondly, that in heaven they are not given in marriage. That man rises again after death, He taught by the saying that "God is not the God of the dead, hut of the living," and that Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob are alive; and moreover in the parable of the rich man in hell and Lazarus in heaven (Luke xvi. 22-31). And that in heaven they are not given in marriage. He taught by the words: "They which shall be accounted worthy to attain another age, neither marry nor are given in marriage." From the words which immediately follow,—that they cannot die any more, because they are like the angels, and are sons of God, being sons of the resurrection,—it is very evident that no other marriage is here meant than spiritual marriage. By spiritual marriage conjunction with the Lord is meant, and this is effected on earth; and when it is effected on earth it is effected also in the heavens. The marriage therefore is not performed again in the heavens, and they are not given in marriage. This is also meant by the words: "The sons of this age marry and are given in marriage, but they which are accounted worthy to attain another age neither marry nor are given in marriage." They are also called by the Lord sons of the marriage (Matt. ix. 15; Mark ii. 19); and here angels, sons of God, and sons of the resurrection. That to marry is to be conjoined with the Lord, and that to enter into marriage is to be received in heaven by the Lord, is plain from the following passages:—The kingdom of heaven is like unto a man, a king, which made a marriage for his son, and sent forth servants, and invited . . . to the wedding" (Matt, xxii 1-14). "The kingdom of heaven is like unto ten virgins, which . . . went forth to meet the bridegroom; five of whom . . . that were ready went in to the marriage" (Matt. xxv. 1, seq). It is evident from verse 13,—where it is said, "Watch ye, for ye know not the day nor the hour in which the Son of Man will come"—that the Lord here meant Himself. From the Revelation also:—"The time of the marriage of the Lamb is come, and His wife hath made herself ready. . . . Blessed are they which are called to the marriage supper of the Lamb" (xix, 7, 9). (C. L. n. 41.)
There are nuptials in the heavens, just as on earth; but there, only with those who are in the marriage of good and truth. Nor are others angels. Spiritual nuptials, therefore, which are those of the marriage of good and truth, are meant in the Word. These take place on earth, and not after death, thus not in the ​heavens. As it is said of the five foolish virgins who also were invited to the wedding, that they could not enter in, because they were not in the marriage of good and truth; for they had no oil, but only lamps. By oil good is meant, and by lamps, truth; and to be given in marriage is to enter into heaven where this marriage is. (ib. n. 44.)
No Procreation of Offspring in Heaven.
Marriages in the heavens differ from the marriages on earth in this, that marriages on earth, in addition to [their other uses], are for the procreation of offspring; but not in the heavens. In place of that procreation there is in the heavens a procreation of good and truth. The reason why there is this procreation in place of the former is, that marriage in the heavens is a marriage of good and truth, as was shown above; and in that marriage good and truth and their conjunction above all things are loved. These, therefore, are what are propagated from marriages in the heavens. Hence it is that in the Word by births and generations spiritual births and generations are signified, which are those of good and truth; by mother and father truth conjoined to good, which procreates; by sons and daughters, the truths and goods that are procreated; and by sons-in-law and daughters-in-law, the conjunctions of these; and so on. It is evident from this that marriages in the heavens are not like marriages on earth. The nuptials in the heavens are spiritual,—which ought not to be called nuptials, but conjunctions of minds from the marriage of good and truth; but they are nuptials on earth, because they are not only of the spirit but also of the flesh. And as in the heavens they are not nuptials, therefore the two consorts are there not called husband and wife; but the consort of another,—from the angelic idea of the conjunction of the two minds in one,—is called by a word which signifies, reciprocally, his [or her] mutual (suum mutuum vicissim). From these considerations it may be known how the Lord's words respecting marriages (nuptials) in Luke xx. 35, 36 are to be understood. (H. H. n, 382.)
The reason why marriages in the heavens are without prolification, and there is instead of this a spiritual prolification, which is that of love and wisdom, is that the third [degree] which is natural is wanting with those that are in the spiritual world, and this is the containant of things spiritual; and spiritual things without their containant do not abide, after the manner of those that are procreated in the natural world. And in themselves regarded spiritual things relate to love and wisdom; ​these therefore are what are born of their marriages. It is said that these are born, because conjugial love perfects an angel; for it unites him with his consort, whereby he becomes more and more a man (homo). For, as was said above, a married pair in heaven are not two, but one angel. By conjugial unition, therefore, they fill themselves with the human,—which is the desire to be wise, and the love of that which pertains to wisdom, (C.L. n. 52.)
The conjunction of charity and faith is as the marriage of a husband and wife. All natural offspring are born of the husband as a father, and of the wife as a mother; so from charity as a father and from faith as a mother all spiritual offspring are born, which are cognitions of good and truth. (T. C. R. n. 377.)
A Marriage Ceremony in Heaven.
Towards evening there came a swift-footed messenger clothed in linen to the ten strangers who accompanied the angel, and invited them to a wedding to be celebrated the next day; and the strangers greatly rejoiced that they were also to witness a marriage in heaven. After this they were conducted to one of the chief counsellors, and supped with him. And after supper they returned, and retired each to his own chamber, and slept until morning. When they awoke they heard the song of maidens and little girls from the houses around the public place. At this time the affection of conjugial love was sung. Deeply affected and moved by its sweetness, they perceived infused into their joys a blessed delightfulness, which exalted and refreshed them. When the time was come the angel said, Make ready, and array yourselves in the garments of heaven which our prince has sent for you. They put them on, and lo ! the garments shone as with a flaming light. And they asked the angel, Why is this? He replied. Because you are going to a wedding. With us garments are then resplendent, and become wedding garments.
The angel afterwards conducted them to the house of the marriage, and a porter opened the doors. As soon as they were within the threshold they were received and saluted by an angel sent from the bridegroom, and were brought in and led to the seats appointed for them. Soon afterwards they were invited into an ante-room of the bridal chamber; where they observed, in the centre, a table whereon was placed a magnificent candlestick, with seven branches and sconces, of gold; and against the walls hung silver lamps, from which when lighted the atmosphere appeared as if golden. At the sides of the candlestick ​they saw two tables on which loaves were placed, in triple order; and in the four corners [of the room] there were tables on which were crystal cups. While they were observing these things, lo! a door was opened from a room next to the bridal chamber, and they saw six virgins coming out, and after them the bridegroom and bride holding each other by the hand, and leading each other to an elevated seat which was set over against the candlestick, whereon they seated themselves, the bridegroom on the left, and the bride at his right hand; and the six virgins stood at the side of the seat next to the bride. The bridegroom was clad in a radiant purple robe and tunic of shining linen, with an ephod, on which was a plate of gold set around with diamonds; and on the plate a young eagle was engraved,—the nuptial badge of this society,—and on his head the bridegroom wore a mitre. And the bride wore a scarlet mantle, and under it an embroidered dress, reaching from the neck to her feet, and below the breast a golden girdle, and on her head a coronet of gold, set with rubies. When they were thus seated the bridegroom turned to the bride and placed on her finger a gold ring, and drew forth bracelets and a necklace of pearls, and fastened the bracelets upon her wrists and the necklace about her neck, and said, Accept these pledges. And when she accepted them he kissed her, and said, Now thou art mine; and called her his wife. This being done the guests cried out, A blessing on you. This each one by himself said, and then altogether; one sent by the prince uttered the same for him. And at that moment the ante-room was filled with an aromatic vapour, which was the sign of a blessing from heaven. The attendants then took bread from the two tables near the candlestick, and cups, now filled with wine, from the tables in the corners, and gave to each of the guests his bread and his cup, and they ate and drank. After this the husband and his wife arose, the six virgins with the silver lamps in their hands, now lighted, following to the threshold; and the married pair entered the bridal chamber, and the door was shut. (C. L. n. 19, 20.)
A Conjugial Pair in Heaven.
One morning I was looking up into heaven, and saw over me expanse above expanse; and I saw that the first expanse which was near opened, and presently the second which was higher, and lastly the third which was the highest. And by illustration therefrom 1 perceived that upon the first expanse there were angels who compose the first or ultimate heaven; and upon the second expanse were angels who compose the second or middle ​heaven; and upon the third expanse were angels who compose the third or highest heaven. At first I wondered what and why this was; but presently a voice was heard from heaven, as of a trumpet, saying, We have perceived, and now see, that you are meditating on conjugial love; and we know that as yet no one on earth knows what love truly conjugial in its origin and in its essence is; and yet it is important that it should be known. It has pleased the Lord therefore to open the heavens to you, that illustrating light, and thence perception, may flow into the interiors of your mind. With us in the heavens, especially in the third heaven, our heavenly delights are chiefly from conjugial love. By permission given us we will therefore send down to you a married pair that you may see them. And lo! a chariot then appeared descending from the highest or third heaven, in which an angel was seen; but as it approached two were seen in it. At a distance the chariot glittered like a diamond before my eyes; and there were harnessed to it young horses, white as snow. And they that sat in the chariot held in their hands two turtle-doves. And they called to me, saying, Would you like us to come nearer? But take heed then that the effulgence which is from our heaven whence we have descended, and is flaming, does not penetrate too interiorly. By the influx of this the higher ideas of your understanding, which in themselves are heavenly, may indeed be illustrated; but in the world in which you are these are ineffable. Receive rationally therefore what you are about to hear, and so address it to the understanding. I answered, I will take heed; come nearer. And they came, and lo! it was a husband and his wife. And they said, We are a married pair. From the earliest age, which is called by you the golden age, we have lived happily in heaven; and perpetually in the same flower of youth in which you see us to-day. I looked at both attentively, for I perceived that they represented conjugial love in its life and in its adornment; in its life in their faces, and in its adornment in their apparel. For all the angels are affections of love in the human form; the governing affection itself shines forth from their faces; and their raiment is derived to them from the affection and in accordance with it. It is therefore said in heaven that his own affection clothes every one. The husband appeared of an age intermediate between manhood and youth. From his eyes shone forth a light, sparkling from the wisdom of love. His face was as if inwardly radiant from this light; and by irradiation therefrom the skin outwardly was as it were refulgent. His whole face was thence one resplendent comeliness. He was clothed in a long robe that reached to the ankles, and under the robe a vestment of blue, and this was girded about with a golden girdle, on which there were three ​precious stones,—two sapphires on the sides and in the middle a carbuncle; his stockings were of shining linen interwoven with threads of silver, and his shoes were entirely of silk. This was the representative form of corijugial love with the husband. And with the wife it was this:—Her face I saw and did not see. I saw it as beauty itself, and did not see it because this was inexpressible to me. For there was a splendour of flaming light in her face,—such light as there is with the angels in the third heaven,—and it dimmed my sight, so that I was simply struck with amazement. Observing this, she spoke to me, saying, What do you see? I answered, I see only conjugial love and a form of it; but I see and do not see. At this she turned herself obliquely from her husband, and I could then regard her more attentively. Her eyes sparkled with the light of her heaven,—which, as was said, is flaming, and therefore is derived from the love of wisdom. For in that heaven wives love their husbands from wisdom and in their wisdom; and husbands love their wives from that love and in that towards themselves; and thus they are united. This was the origin of her beauty; which was such that no painter could emulate and portray it in its form; for there is no such lustre in his colour, nor any such beauty expressible in his art. Her hair was gracefully arranged in correspondence with her beauty, and flowers were inserted in it in the form of coronets. She wore a necklace of carbuncles, and pendent from this was a rosary of chrysolites; and she had bracelets of pearl. She was clothed in a flowing robe of scarlet, and under this a waistcoat of purple, which was clasped in front with rubies. But what astonished me, the colours varied according to her aspect towards her husband; and according to this they were also now more and now less brilliant,—more in a mutual aspect to each other and less in an oblique aspect. After I had observed these things they conversed with me again; and when the husband was talking he spoke as if at the same time from his wife; and when the wife was talking she spoke as if at the same time from her husband; for such is the union of minds from which their speech flows. And then I also marked the tone of voice of conjugial love; that inwardly it was simultaneous with and also a proceeding from the delights of a state of peace and innocence. At length they said, We are recalled; we must depart. And then they appeared to be conveyed in a chariot again as before; and were carried along a paved way among gardens of flowers, out of whose beds sprang olive trees and orange trees laden with fruit; and when they were near their heaven virgins came to meet them, and received and conducted them in. (C. L. n. 42.)
The State of Married Partners after Death.
There are two states through which man passes after death, an external and an internal. He comes first into his external, and afterwards into his internal state. And while in the external, one married partner,—if both are dead,—meets and recognises the other, and if they have lived together in the world they consociate, and for some time live together. And while they are in this state one does not know the inclination of the other to him or her self, because this conceals itself in the internals. But afterwards when they come into their internal state the inclination manifests itself; and if it be concordant and sympathetic they continue their conjugial life, but if it be discordant and antipathetic they discontinue it. If a man has had several wives he joins himself to them in succession while in the external state; but when he enters the internal state, in which he perceives the inclinations of the love as they are, he then either chooses one or leaves them all. For in the spiritual world as well as in the natural, it is not permitted any Christian to take more than one wife, because this destroys and profanes religion. It is the same with a woman who has had several husbands. But they do not attach themselves to their husbands; they only present themselves, and the husbands attach them to themselves. It should be known that husbands rarely recognise their wives; but wives easily recognise their husbands. The reason is, that women have an interior perception of love, and men only an exterior. (C. L. n. 47.)
If they can live together they remain consorts; but if they cannot live together they separate,—sometimes the husband from the wife, sometimes the wife from the husband, and sometimes each from the other. Separations take place after death because the conjunctions that are formed on earth are seldom formed from any internal perception of love, but from an external perception which hides the internal. The external perception of love has its cause and origin from such things as pertain to the love of the world and of the body. Wealth and large possessions especially are [objects] of the love of the world; and dignities and honours are objects of the love of the body. And in addition to these there are also various seductive allurements; such as beauty, and a simulated elegance of manners, and sometimes also unchastity. And besides, marriages are contracted within the country, city, or village of birth or of abode, where no choice is given except as restricted and limited to the families that are known,—and within these limits to those of corresponding fortune. Hence it is that marriages entered into in the world ​for the most part are external, and not at the same time internal. And yet internal conjunction, which is a conjunction of souls, constitutes real marriage; and this conjunction is not perceivable until man puts off the external and puts on the internal, which he does after death. Hence now it is that separations then take place, and afterwards new conjunctions with those who are similar and congenial,—unless these had been provided on earth; which is done for those who from their early years have loved, desired, and asked of the Lord a legitimate and lovely union with one; and have spurned and, as an offence to their nostrils, detested wandering lusts. (ib. n. 49.)
True Marriage looks to what is Eternal.
They who are in love that is truly conjugial look to what is eternal, because there is eternity in that love. And its eternity is from the fact that love increases with the wife and wisdom with the husband to eternity; and in this increase or progression the married pair enter more and more interiorly into the blessednesses of heaven, which their wisdom and love of it together have in store within them. If therefore the idea of what is eternal were eradicated, or should by any event escape from their minds, it would be as if they were cast down from heaven. What the state of the married in heaven is when the idea of the eternal escapes from their minds and an idea of what is temporal enters in its place, came into open view with me from this experience:—By permission granted, there was once with me a married pair from heaven; and then, by a certain worthless wretch speaking artfully, the idea of the eternal in marriage was taken from them; which being taken away they began to lament, saying that they could no longer live, and that they felt a wretchedness which they had never felt before. This being perceived in heaven by their fellow angels, the worthless spirit was removed and cast down. When this was done the idea of what is eternal returned to them; whereat they rejoiced with joy of heart, and most tenderly embraced each other. In addition to this I have heard a married pair who cherished, now an idea of the eternal, and now an idea of the temporal, in respect to their marriage. The reason was that there was an internal dissimilitude between them. When they were in an idea of the eternal they rejoiced with each other, and when in an idea of the temporal, they said, "It is no longer marriage;" and the wife said, "I am no more a wife, but a concubine;" and the man, "I am no longer a husband, but a fornicator." Therefore, when their internal dissimilitude was made known to them, the ​man went away from the woman, and the woman from the man. But afterwards, as they were both in the idea of what is eternal in respect to marriage, they were united to partners who were in similitude with themselves. From these illustrations it may be clearly seen, that they who are in love that is truly conjugial look to what is eternal; and that if this vanishes from the inmosts of their thought they are disunited as to conjugial love, though not at the same time as to friendship; for this abides in the externals, but that in the internals. It is the same in marriages on earth. The married there, when they love each other tenderly, think of the eternal in respect to the marriage covenant, and not at all of its end by death; or if they think of this they grieve, yet are revived with hope from the thought of its continuing after their decease. (C. L. n. 216.)
Conjugial Love is perfected to Eternity.
As love that is truly conjugial endures to eternity, it follows that the wife becomes more and more a wife, and the husband more and more a husband. The actual reason is that in a marriage of truly conjugial love each becomes a more and more interior man (homo). For this love opens the interiors of their minds; and as these are opened man becomes more and more a man; and to become more a man in the case of the wife is to become more a wife, and with the husband it is to become more a husband. I have heard from the angels that the wife becomes more and more a wife as her husband becomes more and more a husband, and not vice versa; because it rarely if ever occurs that a chaste wife fails to love her husband, but the return of love by the husband fails; and that this fails for the reason that there is no elevation of wisdom, which alone receives the love of the wife. (C. L. n. 200.)
Those who are in love that is truly conjugial, after death when they become angels, return to their youth and early manhood. However worn out with age, husbands become young men; and wives, however worn out with age, become young women. Each consort returns to the flower and into the joys of the age in which conjugial love begins to exalt the life with new delights, and to inspire sportiveness, for the sake of prolification. Into this state,—first outwardly, and afterwards more and more interiorly to eternity,—does the man come who in the world had fled adulteries as sins, and was introduced by the Lord into conjugial love. As they are always growing more interiorly young, it follows that love which is truly conjugial continually increases and enters into its delights and satisfactions,—which were ​provided for it from the creation of the world, and which are the delights and satisfactions of the inmost heaven, arising from the love of the Lord towards heaven and the church, and therefore from the love of good and truth for each other; from which loves every joy in the heavens is derived. The reason why man thus grows young in heaven is because he then enters into the marriage of good and truth, and in good there is an inclination continually to love truth, and in truth there is a continual inclination to love good; and then the wife is good in form, and the man is truth in form. From this inclination man puts off all the austerity, dejection, and dryness of age, and puts on the liveliness, gladness, and freshness of youth,—whence the inclination lives and becomes joy. It has been told me from heaven that they have then a life of love which can only be described as a life of joy itself. (A. E. n. 1000.)
They who are in Love truly conjugial feel and see themselves to be a united Man.
I talked with the angels respecting conjugial love, or the love between two consorts who love each other. [They said] that it is the inmost of all loves, and is such that consort sees consort in his or her inner and outer mind (animo et mente), so that each consort has the other within him or her. That is, that the image, yea, the similitude of the husband is in the mind of the wife, and the image and similitude of the wife is in the mind of the husband; so that the one sees the other in himself or herself, and in their inmosts they thus dwell together. This was represented by angelic conceptions, which cannot be expressed in words. (S. D. n. 4408.)
I have heard it testified by those who have lived for ages with their consorts in heaven, that they feel themselves to be thus united,—the husband that he is united with the wife, and the wife that she is united with the husband; and feel themselves to be each within the other, mutually and reciprocally, as also in ​the flesh, although distinct. The reason of this phenomenon, rare on earth, is that the unition of their souls and minds is felt in the flesh; because the soul forms not only the inmosts of the head, but also the inmosts of the body; likewise the mind, which is intermediate between the soul and the body; this too although it appears to be in the head is yet actually in the whole body also. And they said that it is from this cause that the actions which the soul and mind intend flow instantly from the body; and that it is from this that they themselves, since the rejection of the body in the former world, are perfect men. Now as the soul and mind closely adjoin themselves to the flesh of the body, in order that they may operate and produce their effects, it follows that the unition of the soul and mind with the consort is felt, even in the body, as one flesh. (C. L. n. 178.)
Marriages induce upon the Souls and Minds another Form.
It cannot be discerned in the natural world that marriages induce another form upon souls and minds, because there souls and minds are encompassed with a material body, and the mind rarely shines through this; and the men of this age also, more than the ancients, learn from infancy to put expressions on their faces by which they profoundly conceal the affections of the mind. This is the reason why the difference in the forms of minds before marriage and after marriage are not distinguished. That nevertheless the forms of souls and minds after marriage are different from what they were before it, manifestly appears from the same in the spiritual world. For then they are spirits and angels; who are nothing else than minds and souls in human form divested of their coverings, which were composed of the elements in waters and earths, and of exhalations therefrom diffused in the air,—which being cast off, the forms of the minds appear, as they had inwardly been in their bodies; and it is then clearly seen that with those who live in marriage and those who do not they are different. In general, with the married there is an inner beauty of the countenance; for the man takes from the wife the beautiful ruddiness of her love, and the wife from the man the brilliant lustre of his wisdom. For there the two consorts as to souls are united; and there appears besides a human fulness in each. This is in heaven; for there are no marriages elsewhere [in the spiritual world], but beneath the heavens are only nuptial bonds which are made and broken. (C. L. n. 192.)
The Woman is actually formed into a Wife according to the Description in the Book of Genesis.
It is said in this book that the woman was created out of the rib of the man, and that when she was brought to him the man said, "This is bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh; and she shall be called woman (isha), because she was taken out of man" (ish) (ii. 2224). A rib of the breast in the Word, in the spiritual sense, signifies nothing else than natural truth. This is signified by the ribs which the bear carried between his teeth in Dan. vii. 5; for by bears they are signified who read the Word in the natural sense, and see the truths therein, without understanding. By the breast of a man that essential and peculiar thing is signified which is distinct from the breast of woman. This is wisdom; for truth sustains wisdom, as a rib sustains the breast. These things are signified because it is the breast in which all things of man are as in their centre. It is therefore evident that the woman was created out of the man by the transfer of his own wisdom,—that is, out of natural truth; and that the love of this was transferred from the man to the woman, that it might become conjugial love; and that this was done in order that there may not be the love of himself in the man, but the love of the wife,—who, from the nature innate in herself, cannot but convert the love of himself in the man into his love for her. And I have heard that this is done from the wife's love itself, neither the man nor the wife being conscious of it. Hence it is that no one can ever really conjugially love his consort who from the love of himself is in the pride of his own intelligence. When this mystery of the creation of the woman from the man is understood, it can be seen that the woman is likewise as it were created or formed from the man in marriage; and this is effected by the wife, or rather through the wife by,the Lord, who has infused into women inclinations for becoming so. For the wife receives in herself the image of the man, by the fact that she appropriates to herself his affections; and by the fact that she conjoins the internal will of the man with her own; and also by the fact that she takes to herself the offspring of his soul. From all this it is plain that, according to the description in the book of Creation, interiorly understood, the woman is formed into a wife by means of such things as she takes from her husband, even from his breast, and inscribes upon herself. (C. L. n. 193.)
I was once in the midst of angels, and heard their conversation. The conversation was upon intelligence and wisdom:—That a man does not perceive but that both are in himself; and thus that whatever he thinks from his understanding and intends ​from his will is from himself. When yet not the least of it is from the man, save the faculty of receiving the things which are of the understanding and will, from God. And as every man from birth inclines to love himself, lest man should perish on account of the love of himself and the pride of his own intelligence, it was provided from creation that this love of the man should be transferred to the wife, and be implanted in her from nativity, so that she may love the intelligence and wisdom of her husband, and thus her husband. The wife therefore continually attracts to herself her husband's pride in his own intelligence; and extinguishes it in him and vivifies it in herself, and so turns it into conjugial love, and fills it with pleasantnesses beyond measure. This was provided of the Lord, that the pride of his own intelligence might not so infatuate the man that he should believe that his understanding and wisdom are of himself, and not from the Lord; and thus be willing to eat of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, and therefore believe himself like God, and even God,—as the serpent, which was the love of his own intelligence, said and persuaded. Wherefore, after eating of it man was cast out of paradise, and the way to the tree of life was guarded by a cherub. Spiritually, paradise is intelligence; to eat of the tree of life, spiritually, is to have understanding and wisdom from the Lord; and to eat of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, spiritually, is to have understanding and wisdom from himself. (ib. n. 353.)
Conjugial Love is Fundamental to all Loves, and the Treasury of all Joys and Delights.
That there is such conjugial love as is described in these pages may indeed be acknowledged from the first state of that love, when it insinuates and enters into the heart of a youth and virgin; that is, with those who begin to love one only of the sex, and to desire her to wife; and especially during the period of betrothment, while it is lingering and progressing to the nuptials; and at length at the nuptials, and during the first days which follow them. Who does not then acknowledge and consent to these things? That this is the fundamental love of all loves? And that all joys and all delights from first to last are gathered into it? And who does not know that after this pleasant time these transports gradually decline and pass away, till at length they are scarcely sensible of them? If then it be said to them, as before, that this is the fundamental love of all loves, and that all joys and delights are gathered into it, they do not consent, nor acknowledge; and perhaps say these things are ​nonsense, or mysteries that are incomprehensible. It is evident from this that the earliest love of marriage emulates love which is truly conjugial, and causes it visibly to appear in a certain image. This takes place because the love of sex, which is unchaste, is then cast away, and the love of one of the sex, which is a love truly conjugial and chaste, sits implanted in its place. Who does not then look on other women with indifference, and upon his only one with love? (C. L. n. 58.)
The reason why conjugial love viewed as to its essence is the fundamental love of all the loves of heaven and the church, is that its origin is from the marriage of good and truth, and from this marriage all the loves which constitute heaven and the church with man proceed. The good of this marriage constitutes love, and the truth of it constitutes wisdom; and when love draws near to wisdom or conjoins itself therewith, love becomes love, and when in its turn wisdom draws near to love, and conjoins itself therewith, wisdom becomes wisdom. Love that is truly conjugial is nothing else than the conjunction of love and wisdom. A married pair between whom or in whom together this love exists, are an image and form of it. And in the heavens, where the faces are genuine types of the affections of their love, all are similitudes of it; for it is in them in general, and in every part. Now since a married pair are this love in image and in form, it follows that every love that proceeds from a form of the love itself is a representation of it. If therefore conjugial love is heavenly and spiritual, the loves proceeding from it are also heavenly and spiritual. Conjugial love is therefore as the parent, and other loves are as its offspring. Hence it is that from the marriages of angels in the heavens spiritual offspring are generated, which are [generations] of love and wisdom, or of good and truth. (ib. n. 65.)
All delights whatsoever that are felt by man are of his love; through them the love manifests itself, yea, exists and lives. It is well known that delights are exalted in the degree that the love is exalted, and also as the incident affections touch the ruling love more nearly. Now, as conjugial love is the fundamental of all good loves, and as it is inscribed on the very least things of man, as was shown before, it follows that its delights exceed the delights of all loves, and also that it imparts delight to them according to its presence and at the same time its conjunction with them; for it expands the innermost things of the mind, and at the same time the innermost things of the body, as the delicious current of its fountain flows through and opens them. It is because of the superior excellence of its use above all others that all delights from first to last are gathered into this love. Its use is the propagation of the human race, and an ​angelic heaven therefrom; and because this use was the end of ends of the creation, it follows that all the states of blessedness, happiness, gladness, gratification, and pleasure, which could ever be conferred on man by the Lord the Creator, are gathered into this his love. That delights follow use, and are experienced by man according to the love of the use, is manifest from the delights of the five senses,—sight, hearing, smell, taste, and touch; each of these has its delights differing according to their specific uses. What then must be the delight of the sense of conjugial love, whose use is the complex of all other uses?
I know that few will acknowledge that all joys and all delights from first to last are gathered into conjugial love; because love that is truly conjugial, into which they are gathered, is at this day so rare that it is unknown what it is, and scarcely that it exists. For these joys and delights are in no other than genuine conjugial love; and as this is so rare on earth it is impossible to describe its super-eminent felicities otherwise than from the mouth of angels, for they are in it. They have declared that its inmost delights, which are of the soul,—into which the conjugial [influence] of love and wisdom or good and truth from the Lord first flows,—are imperceptible and therefore ineffable, because they are delights at the same time of peace and innocence; but that in their descent they become more and more perceptible,—in the higher [regions] of the mind as states of blessedness, in the lower as states of happiness, in the breast as delights therefrom; and that from the breast they diffuse themselves into each and every part of the body, and finally unite in ultimates in the delight of delights. And the angels have related wonders respecting these delights, declaring also that the varieties of them in the souls of consorts, and from these in their minds, and from these in their breasts, are both infinite and eternal; and that they are exalted according to the wisdom in the husbands,—and this because they live to eternity in the flower of their age; and because to them nothing is more blessed than to grow wiser and wiser, (ib. n. 68,69.)
Wisdom and Intelligence are in Proportion to Conjugial Love.
The amount and the quality of intelligence and wisdom that a man has is according to the amount and quality of conjugial love with him. The reason is that conjugial love descends from the love of good and truth, as an effect from its cause, or as the natural from its spiritual; and all intelligence and wisdom are from the marriage of good and truth, even with the angels of the ​three heavens. For intellisrence and wisdom are nothing else than the reception of light and heat from the Lord as a sun; that is, the reception of Divine truth conjoined with Divine good, and Divine good conjoined with Divine truth; thus it is the marriage of good and truth from the Lord. It was clearly apparent that this is so from the angels in the heavens. Separated from their consorts they are in intelligence it is true, but not in wisdom; but when they are with their consorts they are in wisdom also. And what surprised me, they are in a state of wisdom just in proportion as they turn their faces towards their consorts; for the conjunction of truth and good in the spiritual world is effected by the look, and the wife there is good, and the husband is truth; therefore as truth turns itself to good, so it is vivified. By intelligence and wisdom is not meant ingenuity in reasoning about truths and goods, but the faculty of seeing and understanding truths and goods; a faculty which man has from the Lord. (A. E. n. 998.)
The reason why the capability of being wise increases with those who are in love that is truly conjugial, is that this love with the married is from wisdom and according to it; and also because the sense of this love is the touch, and this sense is common to all the senses, and is also full of delights. It therefore opens the interiors of the mind as it opens the interiors of the senses, and with them the organic forms of the whole body. It follows from this that they who are in that love, love nothing more than to be wise; for a man is wise in proportion as the interiors of his mind are opened. (C. L. n. 211.)
The Qualifications for receiving Conjugial Love.
None can be in love which is truly conjugial but those who receive it from the Lord; who are those that directly come to Him, and from Him live the life of the church. The reason is, that viewed from its origin and its correspondence that love is heavenly, spiritual, holy, pure, and clean, beyond every love that exists among the angels of heaven and among the men of the church; and these its attributes cannot be given except to those who are conjoined to the Lord, and are consociated by Him with the angels of heaven. For these shun extra-conjugial loves, which are conjunctions of one with others than his or her own consort, as injuries to the soul, and as they would the lakes of hell; and in so far as consorts shun such conjunctions, even as to the lusts of the will and intentions from them, in so far this love is purified in them, and gradually becomes spiritual,—first while they live on earth, and afterwards in heaven. No love can ​ever become pure with man; nor with the angels. Nor therefore can this love. But as the Lord primarily regards the intention, which is of the will, in the degree that a man is in this intention, and perseveres in it, he is introduced into and gradually progresses in its purity and holiness. (C. L. n. 71.)
They that love the truths of the church and do its goods come into this love, and can abide in it, because [they and] no others are received by the Lord; for they are in conjunction with Him, and on this account can be kept by Him in this love. There are two things which constitute the church and therefore heaven in man; namely, truth of faith, and good of life. Truth of faith constitutes the presence of the Lord, and good of life according to truths of faith effects conjunction with Him; and thus these produce heaven and the church. Truth of faith constitutes the presence of the Lord because it is [of the nature] of light. Spiritual light is nothing else. Good of life effects conjunction because it is [of the nature] of heat. Spiritual heat is nothing else; for it is love, and good of life is of love. And it is known that all light, even of winter, produces presence, and that heat united with light effects conjunction; for fruit and flower gardens appear in all light, but do not blossom and bear fruit except when heat conjoins itself with the light. From all this the conclusion is plain, that they who only know the truths of the church cannot be gifted by the Lord with love that is truly conjugial, but they that know them and do its goods. (ib. n. 72.)
Love that is truly conjugial in its first essence is love to the Lord. Hence it is that no one can be in truly conjugial love, and in its states of pleasantness, delight, blessedness, and joy, but who acknowledges the Lord alone, that is the Three in Him. They who go to the Father as a person by Himself, or to the Holy Spirit as a person by Itself, and not to them in the Lord, have not conjugial love. The genuine conjugial principle is given especially in the third heaven; because the angels there are in love to the Lord, acknowledge Him to be the only God, and do His commandments. To do His commandments, with them, is to love Him. The commandments of the Lord, to them, are the truths in which they receive Him. There is a conjunction of the Lord with them, and of them with the Lord; for they are in the Lord because in good, and the Lord is in them because in truths. This is the heavenly marriage from which love that is truly conjugial descends. (A. E. n. 995.)
Obstacles to Conjugial Love.
From what has been said respecting the origin of conjugial love it may be concluded who are in that love, and who are ​not: That they are in conjugial love who from Divine truths are in Divine good; and that conjugial love is the more genuine in proportion as the truths which are conjoined to good are more genuine. And as all the good which is conjoined to truths is from the Lord, it follows that no one can be in love that is truly conjugial unless he acknowledge the Lord, and His Divinity; for without that acknowledgment the Lord cannot flow in, and be conjoined to the truths that are with man.
It is evident from these considerations that they who are in falsities are not in conjugial love, and not at all they that are in falsities from evil. Besides, with those that are in evil and thence in falsities, the interiors, which are of the mind, are closed; there cannot therefore be any origin of conjugial love therein. (H. H. n. 376, 377.)
Nor can there be love that is truly conjugial between one husband and several wives; for this destroys its spiritual origin, which is, that of two there is formed one mind. It therefore destroys the interior conjunction, which is of good and truth; which is that from which comes the very essence of that love. Marriage with more than one wife is as an understanding divided between several wills; and as a man attached not to one but to several churches, for thus his faith is distracted so that it becomes no faith. The angels declare that to marry more wives than one is entirely contrary to Divine order. And that they know this from several causes; and in addition to others, from the fact that as soon as they have a thought of marriage with more than one they are alienated from internal blessedness and heavenly happiness, and that then they become as if intoxicated, because good in them is disjoined from its truth. And as the interiors, which are of their mind, come into such a state from the mere thought with any intention, they perceive clearly that marriage with more than one wife closes the internal, and causes the love of lasciviousness to enter,—a love which leads away from heaven,—in place of conjugial love. They say further that man scarcely comprehends this, because there are few who are in genuine conjugial love, and they that are not in it know nothing at all of the interior delight that is in that love, but only know of the delight of lasciviousness; a delight which after a brief cohabitation is turned into what is undelightful. But the delight of love that is truly conjugial not only endures to old age in the world, but also becomes the delight of heaven after death; and is then filled with interior delight, which is perfected to eternity.
The love of domination of one over the other entirely banishes conjugial love and its heavenly delight; for, as was said above, conjugial love and its delight consists in the fact ​that the will of the one is that of the other, and this mutually and reciprocally. This the love of dominion destroys in marriage; for he who domineers wishes that his will alone should be in the other, and none of the other's reciprocally in himself. There is therefore nothing mutual, and accordingly no communication of any love and its delight with the other, and no reciprocal return; yet this communication, and the consequent conjunction, is the very interior delight that is called blessedness in marriage. This blessedness the love of domination utterly extinguishes, and with it all that is heavenly and spiritual in that love, even to such a degree that it is unknown that there is [anything heavenly and spiritual in it]. (ib. n. 379, 380.)
Difference of Religion incompatible with Conjugial Love.
Neither is there love that is truly conjugial between two who are of different religion; since the truth of the one does not accord with the good of the other, and two dissimilar and discordant principles cannot make of two one mind. The origin of their love takes nothing therefore from the spiritual. If they cohabit and agree, it is only from natural causes. For this reason marriages in the heavens are formed with those that are within the same society, because they are in similar good and truth; and not with those that are out of the society. (C. L. n. 378.)
They that are born within the church, and from infancy have imbibed the principles of truth of the church, ought not to unite in marriage with those who are out of the church and so have imbibed such principles as are not of the church. The reason is that there is no conjunction between them in the spiritual world; for in that world every one is consociated according to good and the truth therefrom. And as there is no conjunction between such in the spiritual world, there ought to be no conjunction on earth; for in themselves regarded marriages are conjunctions of the inner and outer minds (animorum et mentium), the spiritual life of which is from goods and truths of faith and charity. For this reason marriages on earth between those who are of different religion are ever regarded in heaven as heinous; and more so between those who are of the church and those that are out of the church. This too was a reason why the Jewish and Israelitish nation was prohibited from contracting marriages with the Gentiles (Deut. vii 3, 4); and that it was utterly heinous to commit fornication with them (Numb. xxv. 1-9). This is the more evident from the ​origin of conjugial love, which is from the marriage of good and truth. When conjugial love descends from this it is heaven itself with man. This [heaven] is destroyed when a married pair are dissimilar in heart from a dissimilar faith. Now it is on this account that a maid-servant of the daughters of Israel, that is of those who are of the church, might not be sold to a strange people, that is to those who are out of the church; for they would afterwards betroth her, that is be conjoined to her, and so profane those things which pertain to the church. It is therefore said (Ex. xxi. 8) that this is to act perfidiously. (A. C. n. 8998.)
Conjugial Pairs are born for each other.
For those who desire love that is truly conjugial the Lord provides similitudes; and if they are not granted on earth He provides them in the heavens. And how they are provided in the heavens I have heard thus described by the angels:—That the Divine Providence of the Lord respecting marriages, and in marriages, is most particular and most universal; for the reason that all the enjoyments of heaven stream forth from the enjoyments of conjugial love, as sweet waters by the streamlet of a fountain. And it is therefore provided that conjugial pairs be born, and that they be educated for their marriage, both the boy and the girl being unconscious of it, continually under the auspices of the Lord. And after the required time they somewhere meet, as if by chance, and see each other,—she then a maiden and he a youth, fit for marriage; and then at once, as by a certain instinct, they recognise that they are mates, and from a kind of inward dictate, as it were, think within themselves, the young man "She is mine," and the maiden, "He is mine." And when for some time this has been settled in the minds of both, they deliberately speak to each other, and betroth themselves. It is said, as if by chance, instinct, and dictate; but the meaning is, by the Divine Providence, because when it is unknown this so appears. In reality the Lord opens the internal similitudes, that they may see themselves. (C. L. n. 229.)
That conjugial pairs are born, and, both being unconscious of it, are educated for marriage, the angels confirmed by the conjugial similitude visible in both their faces; as well as by the eternal union of their inner and outer minds (animorum et mentium), which could not be, as it is in heaven, unless foreseen and provided by the Lord. (ib. n. 316.)
Marriages that are interiorly conjunctive can with difficulty ​be entered into on earth, because there the choice of internal similitudes cannot be provided of the Lord just as in the heavens. For it is restricted in many ways; as, to equals in rank and station, within the country, city, and village of their abode. And accordingly for the most part external [attractions], and so not internal [qualities] there bind them together. These do not come forth until after an interval of marriage, and are only known when they force themselves into the externals, (ib. n. 320.)
True Conjugial Love is scarcely known at this Day.
Love which is truly conjugial is at this day so rare that it is unknown what the nature of it is, and almost that it exists; because the state of pleasurable gratifications before marriage is changed after it into a state of indifference, from insensibility to them. The reasons of this change of state are more than can here be adduced, but will be referred to hereafter, when the causes of coldness, separation, and divorce are to be laid open in their order; from which it will be seen, that with most persons at this day that image of conjugial love which exists in the first state after marriage is so completely destroyed, and with it the cognition of it, that it is not known what conjugial love is, and scarcely that there is such a love. It is known that every man when he is born is merely corporeal; and that from corporeal he becomes more and more interiorly natural, and thus rational, and finally spiritual. That he is thus progressive is because the corporeal is as the ground in which the natural, rational, and spiritual in their order are implanted. Thus man becomes more and more a man. Almost the same takes place when he enters into marriage. Man then becomes a completer man, because he is conjoined with a consort with whom he acts as one man. But this takes place in the first state in a certain image, referred to above. Then likewise he begins from the corporeal, and advances into the natural,—but in respect to conjugial life and thence conjunction into one. They who then love corporeal-natural things, and only love rational things from them, cannot be conjoined with a consort as into one, except as to these externals; and when the externals fail coldness enters into the internals, which dissipates the delights of that love, as from the mind so from the body, and afterwards as from the body so from the mind; and this until no reminiscence is left of the first state of their marriage, and consequently no cognition of it. Now, as this takes place with the most at this day, it is plain that it is not known what truly conjugial love is, and scarcely that there ​is such love. It is otherwise with those who are spiritual. With them the first state is the initiation to perpetual happinesses; which are progressive in proportion as the spiritual-rational of the mind, and from this the natural-sensual of the body, of the one and the other conjoin and unite themselves. But these instances are rare. (C. L. n. 59.)
Semblances of Conjugial Love.
There is a certain resemblance of conjugial love with some; but yet there is not conjugial love if they are not in the love of good and of truth. It is a love that appears like conjugial love, but is from causes relating to the love of the world, or of self; such as, that they may be served at home; that they may live in security; that they may live in ease; that they may be ministered to in sickness and in old age; for the sake of the care of children whom they love. With some it is constrained, by fear,—in respect to the married partner, to reputation, to adversities. With some it is the love of lasciviousness that induces it. This in the first period appears like conjugial love; for then they emulate something of innocence, sport like little children, and perceive a joy as a something of heavenly origin. But in process of time they are not united more and closer like those who are in conjugial love, but separated. Conjugial love also differs in married partners; with one there may be more or less, with the other little or none. And since it differs, to one it may be heaven, to the other hell. Affection and reception determine this. (A. C. n. 2742.)
There are marriages in which conjugial love does not appear, and yet exists; and there are marriages in which conjugial love appears, and yet does not exist. The reasons are many on either hand,—knowable in part, from what has been said above concerning love that is truly conjugial, and the causes of coldnesses and separations; and concerning the causes of apparent love and friendship in marriages. But appearances in the externals determine nothing as respects the ascription. The one only thing that determines is the conjugial [principle], which has its seat in one's will, and is protected in whatsoever state of marriage a man may be. This conjugial principle is as the balance in which that love is weighed; for the conjugial [union] of one man with one wife is the jewel of human life, and the repository of the Christian religion. And because it is so, that love can exist in one consort, and at the same time not in the other. And that love may lie more deeply hidden than that the man (homo) himself shall observe any thing of it; and it may also be ​inscribed in the course of life. The reason is that that love accompanies religion in its steps; and religion, because it is the marriage of the Lord and the church, is the rudiment (initiamentum) and inoculation of that love. Conjugial love is therefore ascribed to every one after death according to his spiritual rational life; and for him to whom that love is ascribed marriage is provided after death in heaven, of whatsoever quality his marriage may have been in the world. From these considerations, now, there results this conclusion: — That it is not to be concluded respecting anyone from the appearances of marriage, nor even from the appearances of fornication, that he has or has not conjugial love. Wherefore Judge not, that ye he not condemned (Matt. vii. 1). C. L. n. 531.)
Second Marriages.
[Whether] to marry again after the death of a consort depends on the preceding conjugial love. Love that is truly conjugial is as the scale of the balance in which the inclinations to repeated marriages are weighed. In so far as the preceding conjugial love approaches that love, inclination to another marriage recedes; and in so far as the preceding love recedes from conjugial love the inclination to another marriage is wont to approach. The reason is obvious: — Because conjugial love is in a like degree a conjunction of minds, which remains in the bodily life of the one after the death of the other; and this holds the inclination as a balance, with two scales, and causes a preponderance according to the appropriation of true love. But as at this day no approach is made to this love, except for a few paces, the scale of preponderance of inclination at the utmost raises itself to an equipoise; and from this wavers, — and inclines to the other side, that is to marriage. The contrary is the case with those whose preceding love, in the former marriage, receded from love that is truly conjugial. The reason is, that recession from this is in like degree a disjunction of minds; which also remains in the bodily life of the one after the death of the other; and this enters into the will disjoined from the other, and causes an inclination to a new conjunction, — in favour of which the thought excited by the inclination of the will induces the hope of a more united, and so more delightful cohabitation. (C. L. n. 318.)
With those who had not a truly conjugial love there is no obstacle or hindrance to their marrying again. There is no spiritual or internal bond, but only a natural or external bond, between those who have not had a truly conjugial love; and if ​Page:A Compendium of the Theological Writings of Emanuel Swedenborg.djvu/567 ​472 MARRIAGE. mutual aids and offices are necessities ; and other such reasons. (iJ. n. 321.)
The I^aturb op the Intelligence of Women and of Men. The intelligence of -women, in itself, is modest, refined, pacific, yielding, gentle, tender ; and the intelligence of men, in itself, is grave, harsh, unyielding, bold, and fond of license. That such is the nature of women and of men is very plain from the body, the countenance, the tone of voice, the speech, the bearing, and manners of each : — From the body, in that men are hard and women soft in skin and flesh. From the countenance, in that the faces of men are harder, more resolute, rougher, tawnier, and also bearded, and therefore less beautiful ; and the features of women are softer, more flexible, more delicate, whiter, and therefore more beautiful. From the tone of voice, in that the tone of men is deep, and of women soft. From the speech, in that with men it is fond of licence, and bold ; and with women modest, and pacific. From the bearing, in that with men it is stronger, and firmer ; and with women weaker, and feebler. From the manners, in that with men they are more unrestrained, and with women more elegant. How much from very birth the genius of men differs from the genius of women, has been made very clear to me from boys and girls seen in their assemblages. I have at different times, through a window, observed them on the street in a great city, where more than twenty gathered in a day. The boys, according to their innate disposition, played by making an uproar, shouting, fighting, beating, and throwing stones at each other; but the girls sat peacefully at the doors of their houses, some playing with little children, some dressing their dolls, some sewing, on bits of linen, some kissing each other. And what I wondered at, they yet looked with delighted eyes at the boys, who were so different. I could plainly see from these manifestations that man is born an understanding, and woman a love ; and also what the nature of the understanding, and what the nature of the love is, in their beginnings ; and so what the understand- ing of the man in its progress would be, without conjunction with feminine and after that with conjugial love. (C. L. n. 218.) The wife cannot enter into the proper duties of the man ; nor the man, on the other hand, into the proper duties of the wife ; because they differ, as wisdom and its love, or thought and its affection, or understanding and its will. In the proper duties of men the understanding, thought, and wisdom act the chief part ; but in the proper duties of wives the will, affection, and ​MARRIAGE. 473 love act the chief part. And from these the wife performs her duties, and from those the man performs his. Their duties are therefore in their nature different, — but yet conjunctive, in a successive series. It is believed by many that women can per- form the duties of men, if only they are initiated into them, in the same manner as boys, from their earliest age ; and they can come into the exercise, but not into the judgment of them, on which the right performance of duties inwardly depends. For this reason those women who are initiated into the duties of men are bound in matters of judgment to consult with men ; and then, if they are free to choose, they elect that which is favourable to their love. By some it is also imagined that women are equally capable of elevating the sight of their under- standing, into the sphere of light in which men may be, and of viewing things in the same [intellectual] altitude ; an opinion to which they have been led by the writings of certain learned authoresses. But these being examined in their presence in the spiritual world were found to be products not of judg- ment and wisdom, but of genius and eloquence ; and what comes of these two, from elegance and beauty in the style of composi- tion, appears as if it were sublime and erudite, — but only to those who call cleverness wisdom. The reason why men, on the other hand, cannot enter into the proper duties of women, and rightly perform them, is that they are not in their affections, which are entirely distinct from the affections of men. As the affections and perceptions of the male sex are by creation and hence by nature thus distinguished, therefore among the statutes given to the children of Israel there was also this : — " A woman shall not put on the garment of a man, neither shall a man put on a woman's garment ; for this is an abomination." (Deut. xxii. 5). The reason of this was, that in the spiritual world all are clothed according to their affections, and the two affections, of woman and of man, cannot be united except [reciprocally] between two, and never in one person, (ib. n. 175.)
The Wife should be under the Guidance op the Husband. Since every law and every precept springs from what is celestial and spiritual, as from its beginning, it follows that this law also, which is a law of marriage, does : — That the wife, because she acts from desire, which is of the proprium, and not so much from reason as the man, is subject to the pru- dence of the man. (A. 0. n. 266.) 36 ​474 MARRIAGE.
The Beauty op the Angels originates from Conjtjgial Love. That IS beautiful which in the sight of the eye is true and good. (D. P. n. 312.) All beauty is from good in which there is innocence. Good itself produces beauty when it flows from the internal man into the external. All human beauty is from this origin. This may be seen too, from the fact that no one is affected merely by the face of another, but by the affection which beams from the face ; and that those who are in good are affected by the affection of good that is in them ; and in the degree that there is innocence in the good. Thus it is the spiritual in the natural that affects [as beauty], and not the natural without the spiritual. They that are in good are affected in a similar manner by little children, who appear beautiful to them in proportion as the innocence of charity is in their face, action, and speech. (A. C. n. 3880.) Spiritual beauty is an affection for interior truth, because truth is the form of good. It is good itself, which is from the Divine in heaven, from which the angels have life ; but the form of their life is by the truths which are from that good. Yet the truth of faith does not produce beauty, but the affection itself that is in the truths of faith, which affection is from good. Beauty from the truth of faith only is like the beauty of a painted or sculptured face; but beauty from an affection for truth, which is from good, is like the beauty of a living face animated vrith heavenly love. For such as is the quality of the love, or such as is the quality of the affection beaming from the face, such is the beauty. Hence it is that the angels appear of ineffable beauty. The good of love beams from their faces by the truth of faith ; which not only appear to the sight, but are perceived also by the spheres that proceed from them. {lb. n. 5199.) The marriage union of good and truth is the origin of conjugial love. (C. L. n. 60.) The angels derive all their beauty from conjugial love ; so that each angel is beautiful according to that love in him. For all the angels are forms of their affections ; for the reason, that in heaven no one is permitted to feign with the countenance things which are not of his affection. Their face is therefore the type of their mind. And consequently when they are possessed of conjugial love, of love to the Lord, of mutual love, of the love of* good and the love of truth, of the love of wisdom, these loves in them give form to their faces, and present themselves as the fires ​of life in their eyes ; to which moreover innocence adds itself, and peace, which complete their beauty. Such forms are forms of the inmost angelic heaven, and are truly human forms. (A. E. n. 1001).
Genuine conjugial love is an image of heaven ; and when it is represented in the other life, this is done by the most beautiful things that eyes can ever see or mind conceive. It is represented by a maiden of inexpressible beauty, encompassed with a white cloud ; so beautiful that it may be said she is beauty itself in essence and in form. It is declared that in the other life all beauty is from conjugial love. The affections and thoughts of it are represented by brilliant auras, sparkling as if with particles of ruby and carbuncle; and this with delights that affect the inmosts of the mind. But as soon as anything unchaste inter- venes they are dissipated. (A. C. n. 2735.)
A form of beauty appeared to me, very slightly presented [to view], veiled as it were with a kind of cloud lest I should look upon it ; and at the same time a perception was given me that it was the beauty of conjugial love. It was such, — it was given me, from an affection, to perceive, — that scarcely anything can be said of it but that it was beauty itself. For it is conjugial love thus formed, so that it is conjugial love itself, which con- stitutes beauty, affecting to the inmosts. All beauty is from this source. (S. D. n. 4175.)
A Likeness of Marriage in all Created Things.
This conjugial sphere fills the universe, pervading it from first to last; which is evident from the consideration that there ​476 MABRIAGE. are marriages in the heavens, the most perfect in the third or highest heaven; and that on earth, besides the marriages among men, it is in all the subjects of the animal kingdom, even down to the worms; and, also, in all the subjects of the vegetable kingdom, from the olives and palms down to the smallest grasses. This sphere is more universal than the sphere of heat and light that proceeds from the sun of our world; of which reason may be convinced, from the fact that it is even opera- tive in the absence of the sun's heat, as in the winter, and in the absence of its light, as in the night, especially among men. The reason why it is thus operative is that it is from the sun of the angelic heaven, and there is a constant equalization of the heat and light therefrom, that is, a conjunction of good and truth; for heaven is in perpetual spring. The changes of good and truth, or of the heat and light of that sun, are not such variations of it as those that take place on earth by the changes of the heat and light from the sun there, but arise from the subjects that receive them. (0. L. n. 222.)
Origin of the Love of Infants. Tlie love of infants is originally from conjugial love. It is known that mothers have a more and fathers a less tender love of infants. It is evident from the lovely and winning affection of little girls for infants, and for the images of them which they carry, dress, kiss, and press to their very heart, that the love of infants is inscribed upon the conjugial love into which women are born. With boys there is no such affection. It appears as if mothers had the love of infants from the nourishment of them in the womb from their own blood, and hence from the appropria- tion of their own life to them, and so from a sympathetic union. But yet this is not the origin of that love ; for if witliout the mother's knowledge, after birth, another infant be substituted for the genuine one, she will love this with just as much tenderness as if it were her own. Besides, infants are sometimes loved by their nurses more than by their mothers. It follows from all tliis, that that love is from no other source than the conjugial love implanted in every woman ; to which is adjoined the love of conceiving, from the delight of which the wife is prepared for reception. This is the beginning of that love, which after the birth passes fully over, with its dehght, to the offspring. (C. L. n. 393.) A sphere of innocence flows into infants, and through them into parents and affects them. That infants are innocent is known, but it has not been known that their innocence flows into them from the Lord. It flows in from the liOrd because He ​Page:A Compendium of the Theological Writings of Emanuel Swedenborg.djvu/573 ​478 MARRIAGE, It is the inmost heaven through which the Lord insinuates true conjugial love. Its beginning or origin is from the inmost heavon ; and then [it passes] through the medium of the lower heavens. From thence also is parental love. For the celestials of the inmost heaven love infants much more than parents, — even than mothers ; yea they are present with infants, and have care of them.^ It was told me, indeed, that they are present and are watchful over them, that they may be nourished, in the maternal womb. They therefore preside over the womb during gestation. (S. D. n. 1201.)
Different Quality of the Love of Infants and Children WITH THE Spiritual and the Natural. To appearance the love of infants with married partners who are spiritual is the same as with those that are natural ; but in fact it is more interior and hence more tender, because that love springs from innocence, and from the nearer and so more present perception of it in them. For the spiritual are spiritual in so far as they partake of innocence. And in truth spiritual fathers and mothers, after that they have tasted the sweetness of innocence in their infants, love their children altogether differently from fathers and mothers who are natural The spiritual love their children from their spiritual intelligence and moral life. They therefore love them from the fear of God and from actual piety, or piety of life ; and at the same time from an affection for and devotion to uses beneficial to society, thus from the virtues and good morals in them. From the love of these, principally, they provide for and supply their wants. If therefore they do not see such virtues in them they withdraw their favour from them, and do nothing for them except from duty. The love of infants is indeed from innocence with fathers and mothers also, who are natural ; but this received by them is wrapped about their own love, and they therefore love infants from the one and at the same time from the other, — kissing, embracing, carrying them, pressing them to their bosoms, and caressing them beyond all measure, — and regard them as one heart and one mind with themselves. And then after their state of infancy, up to and beyond early manhood, when innocence is no longer operative, they do not love them from any fear of God and actual piety, or piety of life ; nor from any rational and moral intelligence in them ; and they pay little regard, — scarcely any at all indeed, — to their internal affections, and hence to their virtues and good morals, but only to the outward things towards which they are inclined. To these 1 Matt, xviii. 10. ​Page:A Compendium of the Theological Writings of Emanuel Swedenborg.djvu/575
* ↑ The author must not be understood to mean that this account is to be interpreted literally, and that the woman was created from the man after the manner of the literal sense. He distinctly states otherwise (A. C. n. 152). But that, as
* ↑ In the original the correlative terms here are intellectualis and voluntaria. As we have in English no adjective that is perfectly correlative to intellectual, the translator, in order to convey precisely the author's meaning without circumlocution, is constrained to use the word voluntary somewhat out of its usual sense. As here used it bears the same relation to the will that intellectual does to the understanding. Its sense would be suggested but hardly expressed by the word affectional, in its common acceptation: thus—"The male is born intellectual and the female affectional."
* ↑ There are in general four distinct terms which the author applies to the spiritual part of man, each with a different and very definite signification; viz. spiritus, anima, mens, and animus. Spiritus (the spirit) is the whole immortal part of man,—all that which lives as a man after death,—and includes the anima, mens, and animus. Anima (the soul), strictly, is the very inmost of man's spirit, the first receptacle of life from the Lord (C. L. n. 101, 315, end); and by derivation it inmostly pervades and is the life of the whole mind and body below it. Metis (the mind) is intermediate between the anima and the animus, and in itself comprises three discrete degrees, viz. the highest, middle, and lowest (C. L. n. 270). The animus is a still lower and outer mind, composed of "affections, and hence outward inclinations insinuated principally after birth, by education, association, and consequent habits of life." (ib. n. 246.) See Chapter on the Human Soul.
* ↑ The original of this descriptive clause is, — "per auras adamantinas ex quasi ruhinis et pyropis sdntillantes." The adjective adamantinus, here and elsewhere in the author's writings, has commonly been rendered by "adamantine," a word which has an established meaning in our language, — referring merely to the hardness of the diamond, — quite different from that intended by the author, as explained by him, with an excuse for its inadequacy, in A. C. n. 1526. He there speaks of the "living sparkle of diamond light" (" rutilatio viva lucis adamantince,") and adds, " I cannot otherwise describe the light, for it was as a diamond sparkling in its minutest particles. " But in the extract above he evidently uses the word adamantinas with reference exclusively to the sparkling brilliancy of the diamond, apart from its colour. To translate it with " diamond," or " diamond like," would therefore be at the least incongruous. The reading of the sentence above given is believed to express the author's meaning, as interpreted by the light of the explanation just referred to, more exactly than a strictly literal or verbal rendering. But the reader will bear in mind that the author is endeavouring to convey some faint suggestion of what is in its nature indescribable, — being spiritual, — by a comparison confessedly inadequate. If the reader would carry this obviously just consideration continually in mind, as applicable generally to the author's descriptions of scenes and occurrences in the heavenly world, it would undoubtedly help lo prevent a certain materiality of conception with regard to them, and possibly some substantial misapprehension-