# After the Inquest

From Short Stories, Nov 1894
    "A' right, George," said the other, as he meditatively felt the stiff gray whisker which framed his red face. "What's the news?" "The news," said George, who was of slow habits and speech, "is that you was found last Tuesday week off St. Katherine's stairs, you was sat on a Friday week at the Town o' Ramsgate public house and buried on Monday afternoon at Lowestoff."
AFTER THE INQUEST
By W. W. Jacobs
IT was a still, fair evening in late summer in the parish of Wapping. The hands had long since left, and the night watchman having abandoned his trust in favor of a neighboring bar, the wharf was deserted.
An elderly seaman came to the gate and paused irresolute, then seeing all was quiet, stole cautiously on to the jetty, and stood for some time gazing curiously down on the deck of the billyboy Mary Ann lying alongside.
With the exception of the mate, who, since the lamented disappearance of its master and owner, was acting as captain, the deck was as deserted as the wharf. He was smoking an evening pipe in all the pride of a first command, his eye roving fondly over the blunt bows and untidy deck of his craft to the clumsy stem, when a slight cough from the man above attracted his attention.
"How do, George," said the man on the jetty, somewhat sheepishly, as the other looked up.
The mate opened his mouth, and the pipe fell from it and smashed to pieces unnoticed.
"Got much stuff in her this trip?" continued the man, with an obvious attempt to appear at ease.
The mate, still looking up, backed slowly to the other side of the deck, but made no reply.
"What's the matter, man," said the other testily; "you don't seem over and above pleased to see me,"
He leaned over as he spoke, and laying hold of the rigging, descended to the deck while the mate took his breath in short gasps.
"Here I am, George," said the intruder; "turned up like a bad penny, an' glad to see your hansum face agin, I can tell you."
In response to this flattering remark, George gurgled.
"Why," said the other, with an uneasy laugh, "did you think I was dead, George? Ha, ha! Feel that!"
He fetched the horrified man a thump in the back which stopped even his gurgles.
"That feel like a dead man?" asked the smiter, raising his hand again. "Feel——"
The mate moved back hastily.
"That'll do," said he, sulkily. "Ghost or no ghost, don't you hit me like that again."
"A' right, George," said the other, as he meditatively felt the stiff gray whisker which framed his red face. "What's the news?"
"The news," said George, who was of slow habits and speech, "is that you was found last Tuesday week off St. Katherine's stairs, you was sat on a Friday week at the Town o' Ramsgate public house and buried on Monday afternoon at Lowestoff."
"Buried!" gasped the other. "Sat on! You've been drinking, George."
"An' a pretty penny your funeral cost, I can tell you," continued the mate. "There's a headstone being made now—'Lived Lamented and Died Respected,' I think it is, with 'Not Lost, but Gone Before,' at the bottom."
" 'Lived respected and died lamented,' you mean," growled the old man. "Well, a nice muddle you've made of it between you. Things always go wrong when I'm not here to look after them."
"You ain't dead, then?" said the mate, taking no notice of this unreasonable remark. "Where've you been all this long time?"
"No more than you're master o' this 'ere ship," replied Mr. Harbolt, grimly; "I've been a bit queer in the stomach an' I took a little drink to correct it. Foolish like, I took the wrong drink and it must have got into my head."
"That's the worst of not being used to it," said the mate without moving a muscle.
The skipper eyed him solemnly, but the mate stood firm.
"After that," continued the skipper, still watching him suspiciously, "I remember no more distinctly until this morning, when I found myself sitting on a step down Poplar way and shiverin' with the morning newspaper and a crowd around me."
"Morning newspaper!" repeated the mystified mate. "What was that for?"
"Decency. I was wrapped up in it," replied the skipper. "Where I came from or how I got there I don't know no more than Adam. I s'pose I must have been ill. I seem to remember taking something out of a bottle pretty often. Some old gentleman in the crowd took me into a shop and bought me these clo's, an here I am. My own clo's and the £30 o' freight money I had in my pocket is all gone."
"Well, I'm hearty glad to see you back," said the mate. "It is quite a home-coming for you. Your missis is down aft."
"My missis? What the devil's she aboard for?" growled the skipper, successfully controlling his natural gratification at the news.
"She's been with us these last two trips," replied the mate. "She's had business to settle in London, and she's been going through your lockers to clean up like."
"My lockers!" groaned the skipper. "Good heavens! there's things in them lockers I wouldn't have her see for the world; women are so fussy an' so fond o' making something out o' nothing. There's a pore female touched a bit on the upper story what's been writing love letters to me, George."
"Three pore females!" said the precise mate; "the missis has got all the letters tied up with blue ribbons. Very far gone they was, too.".
"George," said the skipper in a broken voice, "I'm a ruined man. I'll never hear the end o' this. I guess I'll go an' sleep for'ard this voyage and lie low. Be keerful you don't let on I'm aboard, an' after she's gone 'ome I'll take the ship again and let the thing leak out gradually; come to life bit by bit, so to speak. It won't do to scare her, George, and in the meantime, I'll try an' think o' some explanation to tell her. You might be thinking, too."
"I'll do what I can," said the mate.
"Crack me up to the old girl all you can; tell her that I used to write to all sorts o' people when I got a drap o' drink in me; say how thoughtful I always was of her. You might tell her about that gold locket I bought for her an' got robbed of."
"Gold locket?" said the mate, in tones of great surprise. "What gold locket? First I've heard of it."
"Any gold locket," said the skipper, irritably; "anything you can think of; you needn't be pertikler. Arter that, you can drop little hints about people being buried in mistake for others, so as to prepare her a bit—I don't want to scare her."
"Leave it to me," said the mate.
"I'll go and turn in now. I'm dead tired," said the skipper. "I 'spose Joe and the boy's asleep."
George nodded and meditatively watched the other as he pushed back the forescuttle and drew it after him as he descended. Then a thought struck him, and he ran hastily forward and threw his weight on the scuttle just in time to frustrate the efforts of Joe and the boy, who were coming on deck for a little yelling space. The confusion below was frightful, the skipper's cry of "It's only me, Joe!" not possessing the soothing effect which he intended. They calmed down at length after their visitor had convinced them that he really was flesh and blood and fists, and the boy's attention being directed to a small rug in the corner of the foc'sle, the skipper took his bunk and was soon fast asleep.
He slept so soundly that the noise of the vessel getting under way failed to arouse him and she was well out in the open river when he awoke, and after cautiously protruding his head through the scuttle, ventured on deck. For some time he stood eagerly sniffing the cool, sweet air, and then after a look around gingerly approached the mate, who was at the helm. "Give me a hold on her," said he.
"You'd better get below ag'in if you don't want the missis to see you," said the mate. "She's gettin' up—nasty temper she's in, too."
The skipper went forward grumbling. "Send me down a good breakfast, George," said he.
To his great discomfort the mate suddenly gave a low whistle and regarded him with a look of blank dismay.
"Good gracious!" he cried, "I forgot all about it. Here's a pretty kettle of fish. Well, well!"
"Forgot about what?" asked the skipper uneasily.
"The crew take their meals in the cabin, now," replied the mate, " 'cos the missis says it's more cheerful for 'em, and she's larnin' 'em to eat their wittles properly."
The skipper looked at him aghast. "You'll have to smuggle me up some grub," he said at length. "I'm not going to starve for nobody."
"Easier said than done," said the mate; "the missis has got eyes like needles. Still, I'll do the best I can for you. Look out, here she comes!"
The skipper fled hastily and, safe down below, explained to the crew how they were to secrete portions of their breakfast for his benefit. The amount of explanation required for so simple a matter was remarkable, the crew manifesting a denseness which irritated him almost beyond endurance. They promised, however, to do the best they could for him and returned in triumph after a hearty meal and presented their enraged commander with a few greasy crumbs and the tail of a bloater.
For the next two days the wind was against them, and they made but little progress. Mrs. Harbolt spent most of her time on deck, thereby confining her husband to his evil-smelling quarters below. Matters were not improved for him by his treatment of the crew who, resenting his rough treatment of them, were doing their best to starve him into civility. Most of the time he kept in his bunk—or, rather, he kept in Jimmy's bunk—a prey to despondency and hunger of an acute type, venturing on deck only at night to prowl uneasily about and bemoan his condition.
On the third night Mrs. Harbolt was later in retiring than usual, and it was nearly midnight before the skipper, who had been indignantly waiting for her to go, was able to get on deck and hold counsel with the mate.
"I've done what I could for you," said the latter, fishing a crust from his pocket, which Harbolt took thankfully. "I've told her all the yarns I could think of, about people turning up after they was buried, and the like."
"What'd she say? " queried the skipper eagerly, between his bites.
"Told me not to talk like that," said the mate; "said it showed a want o' trust in Providence to hint at such things. Then I told her what you asked me about the locket, only I made it a bracelet worth £10."
"That pleased her?" suggested the other, hopefully.
The mate shook his head.
"She said I was a born fool to believe you'd been robbed o' it," he replied. "She said what you'd done was to give it to one o' them pore females. She's been going on frightful about it all the afternoon; won't talk o' nothing else."
"I don't know what's to be done," groaned the skipper despondently. "I shall be dead afore we get to port if this wind holds. Go down and get me something to eat, George; I'm starving."
"Everything's locked up, as I told you afore," said the mate.
"As the master of this ship," said the skipper, drawing himself up, "I order you to go down and get me something to eat. You can tell the missis it's for you, if she says anything."
"I'm hanged if I will," said the mate, sturdily. "Why don't you go down and have it out with her like a man. She can't eat you."
"I'm not going to," said the other, shortly. "I'm a determined man, and when I say a thing I mean it. It's going to be broke to her gradual, as I said. I don't want her to be scared, pore thing."
"I know who'd be scared the most," murmured the mate. The skipper looked on him fiercely, and then sat down wearily on the hatches with his hands between his knees, rising after a time to get the dipper and drink copiously from the water cask, then replacing it with a sigh, he bade the mate a surly goodnight and went below.
To his dismay, he found when he awoke in the morning that what little wind there was had dropped in the night, and the billyboy was just rising and falling lazily on the water, in a fashion most objectionable to an empty stomach. It was the last straw, and he made things so uncomfortable below that the crew was glad to escape on deck, where they squatted down in the bows and proceeded to review a situation which was rapidly becoming unbearable.
"I've 'ad enough of it, Joe," grumbled the boy. "I'm sore all over with sleeping on the floor, and the old man's temper gets wuss. I'm going to be ill."
"Whaffor? " queried Joe, dully.
"You tell the missis I'm down below ill. Say you think I am dying," responded the infant Machiavelli, "then you'll see something if you keep your eyes open."
He went below again, not without a little nervousness, and, clambering into Joe's bunk, rolled on his back and gave a deep groan.
"What's the matter with you? " growled the skipper, who was lying in the other bunk, staving off the pangs of hunger with a pipe.
"I'm very ill—dying," said Jem, with another groan.
"You'd better stay in bed and have your breakfast brought down here, then," said the skipper, kindly.
"I don't want no breakfast," said Jem faintly.
"That's no reason why you shouldn't have it sent down, you unfeeling little brute," said the skipper indignantly. "You tell Joe to bring you down a great plate of cold meat and pickles an' some coffee—that's what you want."
"All right, sir," said Jemmy. "I hope they won't let the missis come down here in case it's something catching. Better close the scuttle, sir."
"Eh?" said the skipper in alarm. "Certainly not. Here, you go up and die on deck—hurry up with you."
"I can't. I'm too weak," said Jemmy.
"You can go up on deck at once, d'ye hear me?" hissed the skipper in alarm.
"I c-c-c-can't help it," sobbed Jemmy, who was enjoying the situation amazingly. "I b'leeve it's sleeping on the hard floor's snapped something inside me."
"If you don't go I'll take you," said the skipper, and he was about to rise to put his threat into execution when a shadow fell across the opening, and a voice which thrilled him to the core said softly, "Jemmy."
"Yes'm," said Jemmy, languidly, as the skipper flattened himself in his bunk and drew the clothes over him.
"How do you feel?" inquired Mrs. Harbolt.
"Bad all over," said Jemmy. "Oh, don't come down, mum, please don't."
"Rubbish," said Mrs. Harbolt, tartly, as she came slowly and carefully down backward. "What a dark hole this is, Jemmy. No wonder you're ill. Put your tongue out."
Jemmy complied.
"I can't see properly here," replied the lady, "but it looks very large. S'pose you go in the other bunk. Jemmy. It's a good bit higher than this and you'd get more air and be more comfortable altogether."
"Joe wouldn't like it, mum," said the boy, anxiously. The last glimpse he had of the skipper's face did not make him yearn to share his bed with him.
"Stuff and nonsense," said Mrs. Harbolt, hotly. "Who's Joe, I'd like to know? But you come."
"I can't move, mum," said Jem, firmly.
"Nonsense," said the lady. "I'll just put it straight for you first, then in it you go."
"No, don't, mum," shouted Jem, now thoroughly alarmed at the success of the plot. "There's—there's a gentleman in that bunk. A gentleman we brought from London for a change of sea air."
"My goodness gracious!" ejaculated the surprised Mrs. Harbolt. "I never did—why, what's he had to eat?"
"He, he didn't want nothing to eat," said Jemmy, with a woful disregard for facts.
"What's the matter with him?" inquired Mrs. Harbolt, eying the bunk curiously. "What's his name? Who is he?"
"He's been lost a long time," said Jemmy, "and he's forgotten who he is. He's a oldish man with a red face an' a little white whiskers all around it—a very nice-looking man, I mean," he interposed hurriedly. "I don't think he's quite right in his mind, cos he says he ought to have been buried instead of some one else. Oh!"
The last word was almost a scream, for Mrs. Harbolt, staggering back, pinched him convulsively.
"Jemmy," she gasped, in a trembling voice, as she suddenly remembered certain mysterious hints thrown out by the mate. "Who is it?"
"The Captain," said Jemmy, and, breaking from her clasp, slipped from his bed and darted hastily on deck just as the pallid face of his commander broke through the blankets and beamed anxiously on his wife.
Five minutes later, as the crew, gathered aft, were curiously eying the foc'sle, Mrs. Harbolt and the skipper came on deck. To the astonishment of the redoubtable mate the eyes of the redoubtable woman were slightly wet, and she clung fondly to her husband as they walked slowly to the cabin, regardless of the presence of the men. Ere they went below, however, she called the grinning Jemmy to her, and, to his indignant grief and shame, tucked his head under her arm and publicly kissed him.
This work is in the public domain in the United States because it was published before January 1, 1929.
The longest-living author of this work died in 1943, so this work is in the public domain in countries and areas where the copyright term is the author's life plus 80 years or less. This work may be in the public domain in countries and areas with longer native copyright terms that apply the rule of the shorter term to foreign works.
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