# Life of Saint Catharine of Sienna/Part 1

FIRST PART
Chapter I
Of Catherine's Parents And Their Worldly Condition
There lived in the city of Sienna, in Tuscany, a man named Jacomo, who was descended from the family of the Benencasa, a man simple, loyal, fearing God, and separated from every vice. After losing his parents he married a countrywoman called Lapa. This woman had none of the defects so common at the present day; she was industrious, prudent, well-versed in domestic affairs, and as she still lives, those who are acquainted with her may still render her this precious testimony. The good couple dwelt peaceably together, and although of the humbler class, they possessed a certain position among their fellow-citizens, and besides enjoyed a considerable fortune for their rank. God blessed them with a numerous offspring which they reared in the ways of eminent virtue.
As Jacomo has, as we have every reason to believe, gone to the abodes of the blest, I can with propriety make his eulogium here. Lapa has assured me that he was so mild and moderate in his words that he never gave way to anger, notwithstanding the numerous occasions which might have led him to do so; and whenever he saw any member of his household becoming vexed and speaking with violence, he would try to calm the person, ​saying cheerfully, "Now, now, do not say anything wrong, so that God may grant you his blessing." On one occasion a fellow-citizen had injured him very considerably, by claiming a sum of money from him unjustly, and employing the influence of his friends, and falsehood also to bring about the ruin of poor Jacomo. Still he would not hear his enemy spoken of in any way that could detract from him, and as Lapa thought it no fault he gently reproved her; saying, "let him alone, dear, let him alone, and God will bless you; he will show him his error, and will become our defence," This soon took place; the truth was discovered almost miraculously; the guilty man was condemned and acknowledged the injustice of his persecutions
The testimony of Lapa is above suspicion; all who are acquainted with her will easily credit her; she is an octogenarian, and is so simple that even would she, she could not invent anything false. The friends of Jacomo can also testify to his simplicity, uprightness and virtue; he was so reserved in his speech that his family especially the female portion of it, could not support the least irregularity in conversation. One of his daughters named Bonaventura, had married a young man of Sienna, named Nicolas. This young man received at his house friends of his own age, and their conversation sometimes savoured of levity. Bonaventura became so depressed in spirits on this account, that she fell into a languishing state of health, and sensibly wasted away. Her husband inquired the cause of her illness; she replied: "I have never been accustomed to hearing in the house of my father, language such as I hear in yours; my education has been widely different, and I assure you that if these ​unbecoming discourses continue, my life must soon terminate."
This reply inspired the husband with a great respect for her and her family. He forbade his guests to pronounce in the presence of Bonaventara any words that could possibly displease her; they obeyed, and thus the correct government in the household of Jacomo, corrected the license of the house of Nicolas, his son-in-law.
Jacomo's occupation was the preparation of colors employed in dying wool; hence his surname of the dyer. The daughter of this virtuous artisan was destined to become the spouse of the King of Heaven.
Chapter II
Birth Of Catharine - Her Infancy - Wonderful Circumstances That Take Place
Lapa became the mother of two delicate daughters at a birth; [1347] but the weakness of their bodies was not destined to impair the energy of their souls. The mother not being able to nourish both, found herself obliged to confide one of them to the care of a stranger. God willed that the infant she herself retained, should be her whom he had chosen for his spouse; and when the infants received baptism, the mother's choice was called Catharine, and the other Jane. Jane soon bore to Heaven the name and grace that she received in baptism; she lived but a few days, and Catharine remained alone to save, in after years, a multitude of souls. Lapa consoled herself on the death of her daughter, by tending more carefully the one that was left, and she frequently acknowledged that she loved her more tenderly than all the others, probably because she had been able to nurse her herself, for it was the only one out of the twenty-five children, with which God had blessed her, to whom she had been able to give this maternal attention.
Catharine was educated as a child that belonged to God. As soon as she began to walk alone, she was loved by all who saw her, and her conversation was so discreet, that it was with difficulty her mother could keep her at home; her neighbors and relatives would bring her to their houses in order to listen to her child-like reasonings, and enjoy her infantine sweetness. They found so much consolation in her company that they did ​not call her Catharine, but Euphrosyne, which signifies joy, satisfaction. Perhaps they were ignorant of this meaning, and did not know what I learned later, that Catharine had resolved to imitate St. Euphrosyne; and it may be, also, that in her childish phrases she uttered some words resembling Euphrosyne, and those who repeated her words gave her this name.
Her youth realized the promises of her early infancy: her words possessed a mysterious power which inclined the soul to God. As soon as one conversed with her, sadness was dispelled from the heart, vexations and troubles were forgotten and a ravishing peace took possession of tho soul, so extraordinary indeed that one could only imagine it to resemble that enjoyed by the Apostles on Mt. Thabor when one exclaimed — "it is good for us to be here!" Bonum est nos hie esse. She was scarcely five years old when she would recite an Ave Maria (Hail Mary), on each step of the stairs on going up and coming down, accompanying it with a genuflexion, and she has since assured me that she thus strove to raise her mind from things visible to things invisible. The mercy of God, deigned to recompense this pious being, and encouraged her by a wonderful vision, thus lavishing the dews of his heavenly grace on this tender plant which was destined to become a towering and magnificent cedar.
Catharine was six years of age, when her mother sent her, with her little brother Stephen, to the house of their sister Bonaventura, either to carry something, or obtain some information: their commission being executed, the children were returning by the valley known as the Valle Fiatta, when Catnarine, raising her eyes to heaven, saw opposite to her, on he gable end of the Church of the Friar Preachers, a splendid throne occupied by our Lord Jesus Christ clothed in pontifical ornaments, and his sacred ​brow adorned with a tiara. At his side were St. Peter, St. Paul and St. John the Evangelist. Catharine stood still ravished with admiration and contemplated with love Him who thus manifested himself to her in order to captivate more fully her devoted heart; the Saviour gave her a look of serene majesty, smiled upon her with benign tenderness, and then extending his hand gave her his blessing in the form of a cross, as is customary with Bishops. But while she was looking at our Lord, her little brother Stephen, continued descending, fancying that she followed him, while on the contrary he had left her far behind. Turning around, he perceived his sister looking up to heaven; he called her with his utmost voice, but she made no reply; until at length he went to her, and taking her by the hand, said, " Come on, why do you stay there?" Catharine appeared to awake from a profound sleep looked at him an instant and then said: "did you but see what I see, you would never have disturbed me in such a sweet vision," and her eyes again turned towards heaven, but all had vanished, to the great grief of Catharine, who wept, and reproached herself for having lowered her eyes. From this moment Catharine seemed to be no longer a child; her virtues, her manners, and her thoughts were superior to her age, and would have done honor to men of mature years. The fire of divine love inflamed her heart and enlightened her understanding; her will strengthened, her memory developed, and her every action became conformed to the rules of the Gospel. She disclosed to me since, that the Holy Spirit then taught her, without any human teaching, and without any reading, the life pursued by the Fathers of the desert, and proposed to her the imitation of some saints, particularly of St. Dominick. She experienced such an ardent desire to follow their example, that she ​could not dwell upon any other thought; and to the astonishment of all, she sought retired spots in order to scourge her feeble body with a little discipline. Her meditation and prayers became continual, and to accomplish them she forsook all the ordinary amusements of her age; she became daily more silent, and diminished her food, contrary to the habits of growing children. Catharine's example attracted other little girls who wished to hear her pious discourses, and imitate as far as possible, her devout practices. They assembled in an apartment remote from the house, practiced corporal austerities with Catharine and said as many times the Pater Noster (Our Father), and Ave Maria, as she prescribed to them. This was only a prelude of the future.
Our Lord deigned to encourage these acts of virtue by sensible graces. Her mother informed me, and Catharine was obliged to acknowledge it to me, that when purposing to mount the stair-case she was borne up to the top without touching the steps with her feet, and such was the rapidity of her ascent that the mother trembled lest she should fall. This favor happened to her when she shunned little assemblies, above all when persons of the other sex were present.
The knowledge of the life of the Fathers of the Desert, which Catharine had received from heaven, also determined her to withdraw into solitude; but she was ignorant how to accomplish her project; and God who destined her to another mode of life did not furnish her the means and left her to the dreams of her imagination. One morning, she set forth in search of the desert; after having prudently provided herself with a loaf of bread she directed her course towards the residence of her married sister, who lived near one of the gates of Sienna. She left the city for the first time in her life, and as soon ​she perceived the valley, and the habitations a little more distant from one another she thought she was certainly approaching "the desert." Having found a kind of grotto underneath a shelving rock, she joyfully entered it, convinced that she was now in her much desired solitude. She knelt, and adored Him who had condescended to appear to her and bless her, and God who accepted the pious desires of his spouse, but who had other designs over her, would testify to her how agreeable her fervor was to him. She had scarcely begun her meditation, than she was elevated little by little to the very ceiling of the grotto, and remained thus to the hour of None. Catharine, presuming that this was a snare of Satan to distract her, and turn her from her holy purpose, increased the ardor of her prayers.
At length about the hour in which the Saviour completed his sufferings on the cross, she descended to the earth, and God revealed to her that the moment of sacrifice had not yet come, and that she was not to quit the house of her father. On leaving the grotto she became anxious on finding herself so far from the town, and dreaded the trouble that would arise in the hearts of her family who would imagine her to be lost; she recommended herself to God, and suddenly the holy child was transported, in the twinkling of an eye, to the gates of Sienna, whence she speedily returned home, and never disclosed this circumstance to any but her confessors, of whom I am the last and the most unworthy.
Chapter III
Of Catharine'S Vow Of Virginity, And A Circumstance Of Her Early Years
The apparition of our Lord exerted such a powerful influence over the heart of this devout child, that the germs of self-love were destroyed, and it became inflamed with the sole love of Jesus Christ and of the glorious Virgin Mary. All besides appeared to her only misery and corruption, and her supreme desire was to be united to the Saviour. The Holy Spirit gave her grace to understand that purity of soul and body is necessary for pleasing the Creator, and she sighed after the treasure of perpetual virginity. She implored the Queen of Angels, and of virgins, to be so kind as to obtain from God, the lights which were necessary for accomplishing what would prove most acceptable to his divine majesty and the most conducive to her soul's salvation, expressing to her merely the extreme desire she felt of embracing on earth an angelic mode of life. At length heavenly prudence bade her no longer stifle the holy emotions produced in her soul by the Spirit of God, and being one day retired quite solitary in prayer, she knelt down and invoked the Blessed Virgin, concluding her prayer thus — " I promise thy Son, and I promise thee, never to accept any other spouse and to preserve myself to the best of my ability pure and unspotted."
Catharine did indeed obtain her divine Spouse, and was strictly united to him by her vow of virginity: the blessed Mother of Jesus Performed the nuptial ceremony ​which was miraculously celebrated, as we shall see in the course of our narrative.
After this perpetual vow, Catharine advanced rapidly in sanctity; in imitation of Jesus Christ, she crucified her innocent body, and she resolved to deny herself as far as possible, all nutritious aliments. When meat was served to her, she secretly gave it to her brother Stephen, or put it secretly away; she continued and augmented her disciplines, either alone or in concert with her youthful friends. She felt a burning zeal for the salvation of souls, and entertained a special devotion towards such saints as had labored most diligently in promoting it: she chiefly loved St. Dominic, whose apostolical charity God had made known to her.
The child advanced in age, but faith, hope and charity were developed far before her tender years, and her daily conduct commanded the respect of her seniors. The following instance Lapa often related. Catharine had scarcely attained the age of ten, when Lapa desirous of having a Mass said in honor of St. Anthony, sent her to the curate of the parish to acquiesce in her wishes, and to offer a certain number of candles on the altar, and present a sum of money mentioned. The pious child joyfully fulfilled her mother's commission, but would profit by adding her own prayers to what she felt was promoting God's glory. She therefore remained in the Church until the end of Mass, and did not return home until the Office had terminated. Her mother, — persuaded that she should have come home after having spoken with the priest, found her absence too much prolonged, and reproached her in a way common among "the people" for her slowness. "Cursed," said she, "be the tongue that pretend that you should not have returned!" ​The child listened to these words without making any reply, but a few moments after, she invited Lapa aside, and said to her with as much gravity as humility, "Dear mother, whenever I commit any fault, or execute your order badly, punish me, beat me even if you will, to force me to do my duty better, but, I entreat you, never to curse any one on my account, for it is unbecoming your years, and gives me great pain. " The mother was greatly surprised at this lesson from her child, and more edified than surprised when she discovered that she had remained to offer the Holy Sacrifice, instead of loitering by the way as she had hastily judged.
Chapter IV
Of A Relaxation Of Fervor, Which God Permitted In Order To Augment Her Grace, And Of The Great Patience Of Catharine In Supporting Persecutions For The Love Of Jesus Christ.
The increated Wisdom, which governs all things, sometimes permits the fall of his Saints, so that they may afterwards arise and serve him with much greater ardor, and tend with greater prudence towards perfection, and gain more splendid victories over the enemies of their salvation.
When Catharine, who had consecrated her virginity to God, had attained the age of twelve years, she never left the paternal roof alone, according to the usage established for all unmarried females. Her father, mother and brothers, who were ignorant of her solemn promise, thought of finding her a suitable partner. Her mother who desired for her a husband worthy of her merit, and who knew not that she had already selected a spouse far above all human alliances, took great pains in adorning her interesting daughter; she caused her to have her hair dressed, and her head covered with ornaments, while her neck, face and arms were attempted to be displayed in a manner calculated to please such as might ask her hand in marriage. Catharine entertained other thoughts, but she concealed them from her parents, fearing to afflict them; she submitted unwillingly to the wishes of her mother, seeking to please God rather than men. Lapa was pained at the opposition she could not help observing; she summoned to her aid her married daughter ​Bonaventura, and charged her to persuade her sister to assume the ornaments suited to young persons of her age. She was well aware of Catharine's tenderness towards her sister, whose influence was able to produce the success of her projects. She was not deceived, God suffered the victory of Bonaventura's little maneuvers; she influenced Catharine by her conversations and examples to devote herself to the occupations of her attire without however prevailing upon to renounce her vow. She accused herself of this fault with so many tears and sobs, that one would have supposed she had committed some great crime. And now that this lovely flower is transferred to the garden of heaven, I may disclose the secrets that will redound to God's glory, and expose what passed between us on this subject. There was a question of it in all her general confessions, and it was always with signs of the liveliest contrition. I knew well that holy souls frequently fancy they discover faults where there is none in reality, and exaggerate much the imperfections they commit. But as Catharine appeared to believe she deserved eternal misery I thought it my duty to inquire if she had thought of renouncing her vow of virginity when acting thus. She answered me no, and that such an idea never even approached her heart. I then inquired whether, without wishing to infringe her vow of virginity, she had sought to please men in general, or any one man in particular; her reply was that nothing was more painful to her than to see men or to find herself with there. When her father's apprentices, who lived in the house, came where she was, she fled as though she had met with serpents, to the astonishment of all. Neither would she ever take her place at a door or in a window, in order to look at those who passed by. But then, said I to her, ​how can you believe that the care you took in your attire can cause you to merit hell; above all if there was nothing excessive in your attire? She said that she had loved her sister too well, by preferring her pleasure to God's will, and then recommenced her tears. On my deciding that there might be imperfection, but that there was no violation of a formal precept, she exclaimed, "O dear Lord, see I my spiritual father excuses my sins. Can a creature so vile and contemptible, who has received so many graces from her Creator, without having ever merited them, have thus passed her precious time innocently in adorning her miserable body, and that to please a mere creature ?"
This conversation proves how that beautiful soul was ever preserved from mortal sin, that she guarded her virginity spiritually and corporeally, and never tarnished her purity either by word or action. In all her general confessions, and in all her particular ones, I have found no other faults than those which I have just related. Her whole time was consecrated to prayer, meditation and the edification of her neighbor. She granted herself but a quarter of an hour of sleep daily. During her repast, (if the little food she took could be called by that name,) she prayed and meditated on what our Lord had taught her. I know, and can attest before the Church, that during the period of my acquaintance with her, it was more painful for her to take food, than it is painful for one who is fainting with hunger to be deprived of it, and that she suffered more when she took any, than others endure in a violent fever — hence eating became to her a cruel penance. It would be difficult to imagine what fault a soul could commit which was so continually occupied with God, and yet she accused herself with so much ​sorrow, and succeeded in finding so many imperfections, that a Confessor who did not know her mode of life, might be deceived and fancy there was evil where none in reality existed. I have dwelt at length upon this fault of Catharine in order to show to what a high degree of perfection grace had raised her.
Bonaventura who had succeeded in occupying her with her attire, had not inspired her with a wish to please the world, yet her fervor in prayer and meditation had abated. Our Lord would no longer permit that his chosen spouse should thus be separated from his heart, and he destroyed the obstacle that prevented this holy union. Bonaventura, who had led Catharine in the path of vanity, died in childbirth, and in the flower of her age — and her death caused Catharine to comprehend more deeply the vanity of earth, and she devoted herself with new ardor to the service of her divine spouse. At this epoch she dates her devotion to St. Magdalen, of whom she asked a contrition similar to hers; this devotion always increasing, our Lord and the Blessed Virgin gave her Mary Magdalen for mistress and mother, as we shall hereafter see.
The enemy of salvation, perceiving that his snares were overthrown, and that she whom he was desirous of destroying, had sought refuge with more love than ever in the bosom of her spouse, determined to excite obstacles in her house, and bind her to the world by the violence of his persecutions; he inspired her relatives with the determination of obliging her to marry so as to fill the void created in the family by the death of Bonaventura. Catharine, enlightened from above, only increased her vocal prayers — her meditations and austerities, — avoiding the society of men, and proving in every way the inflexibility ​of her resolution never to give to a simple mortal the heart that had been accepted by the King of kings.
Her parents left no means untried of overcoming her resistance, and addressed themselves to a Friar Preacher, whom they besought as a friend of the family to do all that he could to procure the consent of Catharine. He promised to second their views, out when he conversed with her, and found her will so firm, his conscience obliged him to sustain her, and instead of contending with her, he said to her: "Since you have decided to consecrate yourself to God, and those who surround you oppose it, prove to them that your resolution is not to be shaken. Cut off your hair, entirely; perhaps they will then let you enjoy tranquility." Catharine received this advice as coming from heaven; she took her scissors and joyfully cut off her beautiful tresses, now become hateful to her, because she supposed them to have been the cause of her committing a fault. She then covered her head, contrary to the custom of youthful maidens, whom however the Apostle recommends never to go forth without a veil. When Lapa saw this veil, she asked her the reason of wearing it; Catharine neither dared to tell a falsehood nor avow the truth, and spoke in as low a tone as possible. Her mother then seized the veil, and in removing it discovered her head shorn of its beautiful locks. "Ah I daughter what have you done?" cried she, but Catharine quietly resumed her veil and withdrew. At the mother's shriek the whole family met, and when they learned what had been done all in unison gave way to violent anger.
This was the occasion of a new persecution for Catharine, and more terrible than the former; she triumphed over it by the aid of heaven, and the means they adopted for separating her from our Lord, served on the contrary ​to unite her more closely to him. They loaded her with injurious words and harsh treatment, telling her that her hair should be allowed to grow notwithstanding the revolts of her heart, and that she should enjoy no peace until she consented to be married in obedience to their determinations. It was also decided, that she should perform all the menial work of the house, and that no leisure should be left her for conversing with God. So as to humble her to the utmost, they even dismissed the kitchen-maid, and forced Catharine to fulfill her functions. Every day they loaded her with affronts such as are most sensible to a woman's heart — and at the same time proposed to her a highly honorable connection, and took every possible means to induce or constrain her to accept it. But the devil was again vanquished; Catharine instead of yielding, became stronger with the help of grace, and gave way to no trouble in this storm; the Holy Spirit had taught her to erect a little cell in the interior of her soul, whence she resolved never to come forth, notwithstanding her pressing exterior occupations. When she was privileged with a room, she was often obliged to leave it, but, nothing could oblige her to leave this interior retreat — eternal truth has declared that the kingdom of God is within us — Megnum dei intra nos est, (Luke xvii 21) and the prophet proclaims that all the glory of the King's daughter is within. Omnis gloria filiae regis ab intus. (Ps. xliv. 14)
The Holy Ghost also inspired Catharine with a means of supporting affronts and of maintaining in every crisis the joy and peace of her soul. She imagined that her father represented our divine Saviour, and that her mother took the place of the Blessed Virgin. Her brothers and and other relations were the Apostles and disciples of our ​ Lord to her; hence she served them with a delight and ardor that astonished every one; this means assisted her to enjoy her divine spouse whom she believed she was serving; the kitchen became a sanctuary to her, and when she seated herself at table, she nourished her soul with the presence of the Saviour. richness of Eternal Wisdom, how numerous and admirable are the ways thou has for delivering those who hope in thee ! Thou can draw them out of every danger and conduct them to the port through the most difficult and dangerous channels.
Catharine considered that recompense which the eternal Spirit promised her, and suffered all these trials with joy rather than patience, and her soul was inundated with the sweetest consolations, while fulfilling her duties. As she was not allowed an apartment to herself, but was ordered to share one with another, she chose that of her youthful brother Stephen, who was unmarried: because she could profit by his absence during the day, and his profound sleep at night, to devote herself to her practice of prayer; thus she continually sought the presence of her spouse, and was never weary of knocking at the door of his sacred tabernacle. She implored God to deign to protect her virginity, repeating with St. Cecilia this verse of the Psalmist Fiat Domine cor meum et corpus meum immaculatum, (Ps. cxviii. 80) Her spirit of recollection and her hopes gave her such strength and energy that with her trials her spiritual joy increased; and her brothers who witnessed her constancy, said to one another; "We are vanquished!" Her father, who was better than the others, examined her conduct in silence, and comprehended daily more and more that she was doing the will of God, and not following the fancies of a capricious maiden.
​One day while the servant of Jesus Christ was praying fervently in her brother's room; the door being open, because her parents had forbidden her to shut it; her father entered to take something that he needed in the absence of his son. While looking about, he saw his daughter who was kneeling in one corner of the chamber, and having a snow-white dove reposing on her head; at his approach it fled, and seemed to disappear through the window: he enquired of his daughter what dove that was that just flew away; she replied that she had not seen a dove or any other bird in her room. This occurrence filled him with astonishment, and awakened serious reflections in his mind.
Catharine felt an increasing desire to accomplish a project which she had entertained indeed from her infancy; namely to be clothed with the habit of the order founded by the illustrious St. Dominic, hoping she could thus more easily accomplish her holy vow. She prayed continually to God through the intercession of that saint, who had displayed such an impassioned zeal for the salvation of souls. Our Lord, seeing this young and generous athlete combating in the arena, encouraged her by the following vision. During her sleep, she seemed to behold all the Founders of the various orders, and among them St. Dominic, whom she recognized by a lily of dazzling brightness which he bore in his hand, and which was burning without being consumed. They each and all engaged her to select an order, so as to serve God in higher perfection; she turned towards St Dominic whom she saw advancing towards her and presenting her with a habit of the Sisters of Penance of St. Dominic, who are very numerous in Sienna. He addressed her in the following consoling words: "Daughter, be of good ​heart, fear no obstacle, excite your courage, for the happy day will come when you shall be clothed in the pious habit you desire." This promise filled her heart with joy, she thanked the great St. Dominic with an effusion of tears, which awakened her, and restored her to her senses.
This vision so comforted and strengthened her, that on that very day she assembled her father and mother with her brothers, and with great assurance declared to them: "During a long time you have resolved that I should marry, and have endeavored to force me to do so; you are aware that I hold this project in horror; my conduct must have convinced you of this; I have not however explained myself, on account of the respect due to my parents, but duty obliges me to be silent no longer; I must speak candidly with you, and declare to you an engagement I have assumed, which is not novel, since I contracted it in my infancy. Know therefore, that I have taken a vow of virginity, not through levity, but deliberately and with full knowledge of what I was doing; now that I have a maturer age and a more perfect acquaintance with the nature of my actions, I persist with the grace of God in my resolution, and it will be easier to dissolve a rock than to induce me to change my will; renounce therefore these projects for an earthly union; it is quite impossible for me to satisfy you on this point, because it is better to obey God than man. If you desire to retain me as a domestic in the house, I will render you cheerfully all the services in my power, but if you desire to oblige me to leave it, know that I shall remain immoveable in my resolution; my spouse has all the riches of heaven and earth, his power can protect me and provide abundantly for my every necessity."
At these words all present melted into tears; the sobs ​broke forth with such vehemence that no one could respond to her words; there were no longer any means of opposing the accomplishment of her vow. The hitherto timorous and silent maiden had declared calmly and firmly her resolution; she was ready to quit the home of her infancy and all the delights of social intercourse rather than be wanting to it. When the emotion of the listeners had subsided a little, the father who loved his daughter devotedly, and who feared God more, recalling to mind the mysterious dove and other remarkable circumstances, gave her this reply. "God preserve us, dearest child, from longer opposing the resolution with which he inspires you; experience proves it, and we clearly perceive that you have not been actuated by levity, but by a movement of divine grace. Accomplish freely therefore the vow you have taken, do all that the Holy Spirit commands you; henceforth we will no longer oppose your pious exercises; only pray for us that we may become worthy of the promises of that Spouse who chose you at so tender an age." Then turning to his wife and children he added: "Let no one presume to contradict my dear child or seek to turn her from her saintly resolution; let her serve her Saviour as she will, and render him propitious to us. We can never find a more beautiful and honorable alliance; for it is not a mortal man whom we receive into our family, but a man God that never dies." After that, some still wept, especially the mother who loved her daughter too sensibly. Catharine on the contrary rejoiced in the Lord and thanked him for rendering her thus victorious; she humbly thanked her parents also, and disposed herself to profit in the best possible manner by the liberty that had been granted to her.
Chapter V
Her Austere Penances, And The Persecutions Of Her Mother
As soon as Catharine had the liberty of serving God conformably to her desires, she set to work in an admirable manner; she procured a small apartment separate from the others, in which she could build a solitude, and torment her body at will. It is impossible to describe the austerities that she practiced and the ardor with which she sought the presence of her Spouse.
From her infancy, Catharine seldom touched meat; she interdicted herself so completely at that time, and so habituated herself to this privation, that in the end, she could not smell the odor of it without her stomach being offended. One day as I found her in a state of extreme weakness, because she had taken nothing to sustain her strength, I caused a bit of sugar to be put into the water that she was drinking; when she perceived it, she said to me: "I see that you are anxious to extinguish the remnant of life that I yet have." As I asked her why, she replied that she had become so accustomed to taking unsavory dishes, that whatever was sweetened, sickened her; it was the same thing in reference to animal food: as to wine, she mingled it so, that at the time in which she dwelt in her cell, it had neither taste or odor, and hardly preserved the rich color of the wine of that region. At the age of fifteen she renounced it entirely and drank only pure water, and by daily curtailing some new article of diet, she terminated by taking only a little bread, and some cooked vegetables.
​Her body was weighed down with infirmities, and subject to insupportable indispositions; her stomach was incapable of performing its functions, and yet the want of nourishment did not diminish her physical strength, her existence was a miracle, for medical men assured me that it was quite inexplicable to them. During the whole time that I had the privilege of being witness of her life, she took no food, and no drink that was capable of sustaining her, and this she supported, however, joyously even when undergoing sufferings and extraordinary fatigue.
We must beware of supposing that this was the natural consequence of a certain diet and graduated abstinence; it is quite evident that her strength was maintained by the ardor of her soul, for when the spirit superabounds in the body and is satiated with heavenly food, the body easily endures the torments of hunger.
Her bed was composed of a few planks without any covering: she sat on them when meditating and knelt on them when praying, and then extended herself on them for sleeping, without laying aside any portion of her clothing which was wholly composed of wool. She wore a hair-cloth, but as she cherished exterior neatness as a figure of interior purity, she exchanged this hair-cloth for a chain of iron which she drew around her person with such force that it entered her flesh: this I learned from her companions who were obliged to change it on account of the profuse perspirations, which caused her fainting fits. When her weakness increased towards the close of her life I obliged her, in virtue of holy obedience, to quit this chain, which occasioned her great pain. At first she prolonged her vigils until the hour of Matins; afterwards she overcame sleep so entirely, that she gave a ​short half hour to sleep every other day, and she did not allow herself that repose, but when the feebleness of her body forced her to do it. She acknowledged to me that no victory had cost her so dearly, and that she had undergone great combats in this triumphing over sleep.
Had she found persons capable of understanding her, she would willingly have passed the days and nights in talking of God, and her discourses, instead of weakening her, on the contrary rendered her more joyous and appeared to fortify her, for while she spoke of holy things, she seemed to be redolent with the vigor of youth, and when she ceased, she became languid and without energy. Sometimes she spoke to me of the profound mysteries of God, and as she never wearied, and I did not possess her sublime elevation of soul, I would fall asleep. But she, absorbed in God, would not perceive it, and continue talking, and when she discovered me asleep, she would arouse me with a louder tone of voice, and recall to my mind that I was losing precious truths and consideration in thus allowing her to converse with the walls.
Peruse the lives of the fathers of the desert; run over the pages of the Sacred Writings, and in vain will you seek any similar instance. You will see that Paul the Hermit lived a long time in the wilderness, but a raven daily brought him half of a loaf. The celebrated St. Anthony practiced astonishing austerities, but he had gathered, like odorous flowers, the example of the other anchorites whom he visited; for St. Jerome relates that St. Hilarion, during his youth, had gone to find St. Anthony, and had taught him the secrets of solitude, and the means of acquiring victory. The two Saints Macarius, Arsenius and numerous others, had masters ​who led them in the paths of the Lord; all these lived amid the peace of solitude, and in the protecting shade of some monastery; while this worthy daughter of Abraham was neither in a convent nor in the wild, but in the bosom of her family, without the help of spiritual direction, and surrounded by obstacles of every sort; and yet she attained a degree of abstinence that no Saint besides had ever attained. True, Moses fasted twice during a period of forty days; Elias did it once, and the Gospel teaches us that the Saviour deigned to give us the same example, but these are not fasts during consecutive years. When John the Baptist was conducted by the spirit of God into the wilderness, it is written, that his food was the locust and wild honey; but this was not an absolute fast; there is none but St. Magdalen of whom history and not the Gospel, writes that she fasted during thirty-three years on a rock which is still pointed out, and therefore we may conclude, that the holy examples I have cited give us to understand with what magnificence, and inexhaustible bounty, God enriches his saints and bestows on them new perfections. They should also prove the admirable virtue of Catharine, and that the Church may say of her, without injury to her other saints: "We find none like her!" Non est inventus similis illi. The infinite power of Him who sanctifies souls, can give them, when it seems to him good, a particular glory.
One more fact will recapitulate all I have said of Catharine, and will give you to comprehend to what point she had weakened her body and subjected her mind. Her mother informed me that her daughter, before her penances, possessed such physical strength, that she could easily take on her shoulders a weight sufficient ​for a horse, and carry it with speed up two flights of stairs, that is to the attic on top of the house. Her body was twice as strong and twice heavier than at her twenty-eight years of age, and she became so weak that a miracle was necessary to sustain her. When I was acquainted with her, the spirit had so exhausted her physical energies, that we always believed her end was approaching, and yet she was filled with an admirable ardor, especially when there was question of the salvation of souls; there she forgot all her infirmities and after the example of her holy patroness St. Magdalen, she suffered in her body and prayed by her soul, which communicated to her exhausted members, the superabundance of its strength.
The old serpent whom she had vanquished, did not, however, renounce his efforts to torment her; he addressed himself to Lapa, whom he knew to be a true daughter of Eve, and succeeded, by means of the love which led her to consider Catharine's body more than her soul, in inspiring her with the thought of hindering her penance. When she found Catharine lying on simple planks, she conducted her forcibly into her room, and obliged her to share her own bed. Then Catharine, docile to the lessons of Wisdom, would fall on her knees, before her mother, soften her by words full of humility and sweetness, entreating her to calm herself, and promising to repose by her side in accordance with her wishes. She would then lie down on the extreme edge of the bed and there meditate with fervor; and when she found her mother was asleep, she would softly arise and return to her devout exercises. It would not be long; for Satan provoked by her constancy, would awaken Lapa. Then Catharine sought a means of satisfying her love of austerities, and ​of leaving her mother in tranquility; she managed to elide one or two planks under the sheets in the place she was to occupy; but after some days her mother perceiving it said: "I see that all my endeavors prove futile; at least do not try to conceal it from me, and sleep now as you wish." She yielded to such perseverance, and permitted her to follow the divine inspiration.
Chapter VI
Of Her Self-Conquest At The Baths, And Her Clothing With The Holy Habit Of St. Dominic
Catharine resumed her pious exercises, and was continually speaking to her parents of her desire to give herself more fully to her divine Spouse. She also solicited the "Sisters of Penance, of St. Dominic," who are denominated Mantelees, to condescend to receive her among them, and allow her to wear their costume. Her mother afflicted at these requests, dared not, however, refuse her, and so as to try to distract her from her austerities she, without precisely knowing it, became the accomplice of Satan, by proposing to go to the Baths and to take Catharine with her. The spouse of our Lord, combated with invincible arms, and all the attacks of the devil turned to her advantage. She found a method of torturing her body; for, under pretext of bathing herself better, she approached the canals by which the sulphurous waters enter the Baths, and she endured the burning heat, on her uncovered and delicate flesh, to such a degree, that she suffered more than when scourging herself with iron chains. When her mother told me this fact, Catharine told me that she had asked to bathe after the departure of the others, because she was well assured that she would not be suffered to do this; and when I inquired how she could support such atrocious torture without dying, she answered me with dove-like simplicity: "When there, I thought much on the pains of Hell, and of Purgatory: ​I besought my Creator, whom I had so often offended, to deign to accept for the torments I had merited, those that I then voluntarily underwent; and the thought that his mercy consented to it, filled my soul with such heavenly consolation that I was happy in the midst of my pain."
On their return Lapa tried in vain to obtain from Catharine a relaxation in her austere practices; her daughter turned a deaf ear, and only implored her, day by day, to go and press the " Sisters of Penance/' to no longer refuse her the holy habit for which she languished. Lapa, overcome by her importunities consented to it. The sisters replied that it was not their custom to give their habits to young maidens, but to widows of mature age, who had consecrated themselves to God; that they kept no enclosure (or cloister,) but that each sister must be capable of governing herself at home. Lapa returned with this answer, which was, we may presume, less painful to her, than to her pious daughter.
The Spouse of Jesus Christ was not however troubled; she trusted in the promise she had received from heaven, and solicited anew its accomplishment. She told her mother that she was not discouraged, and that she must insist with the sisters, and Lapa yielded at length to her earnestness, but returned home without any better success.
In the mean time Catherine was seized with a malady common to young persons in her country. Providence had his designs. Lapa loved all her children with tenderness, but this one in particular. The poor mother sat by her bedside, giving her every imaginable remedy and seeking to console her; but Catherine, amidst her sufferings, only pursued with new ardor the object of her desires ​and strove to profit by a moment in which her anxious and loving mother was ready to accord her any thing she requested. She said to her sweetly: " Dearest mother, if you wish me to recover my health and strength, try to obtain for me the habit of the "Sisters of Penance." I am convinced that God and St. Dominic who call me, will take me from you, if I wear any other religious dress."
Lapa gave way to sadness on hearing these words, but as she feared losing her daughter, she once more addressed herself to the Sisters, and was so importunately persuasive that they were shaken in their resolutions. They answered: "If she be not handsome, nor of a beauty too remarkable, we will receive her, on her account and yours, but if she be too pretty, we are bound to avoid the inconveniences that might spring from the malice of men of the present period." Lapa invited them to come and judge for themselves. Then, three or four of the sisters, selected among the most enlightened and prudent, accompanied her to see Catherine and examine her vocation. They could not judge of her personal appearance, for her whole body was covered with a kind of eruption consequent on her malady, which quite disfigured her, besides her beauty was not excessive; but they heard her express herself with so much fervor, and remarked in her such a profound wisdom that they were quite enchanted; they comprehended that the maturity of her mind redeemed the fewness of her years, and that there were not very many aged persons who were as rich in virtues before God
They retired filled with pious joy and edification, and rendered an account of their visit to their associates. These after having taken the opinion of the monks of the Order, assembled and received Catherine unanimously.
​They announced to her mother that, as soon as she would soon recover from her illness, she might repair to the church of the Friar Preachers, to take the habit of St. Dominic, in presence of the Brethren and Sisters, with the customary ceremonies. At this happy news, Catherine shed tears of joy, and gave thanks to her heavenly Spouse and to Saint Dominic, who realized at last his promise. She implored her restoration to health, not in order to be released from sufferings, but so as to accomplish more promptly the first and strongest wish of her heart. She was heard, and became quite well in a few days, for how could our Lord refuse her when she asked him to remove an obstacle in the way of his greater glory, and the service of one who loved him so devotedly.
The mother now sought to retard the happy day of her reception, but in vain; she was obliged to yield to the pressing solicitations of Catherine, and go to the Church, where in the presence of many Sisters of the Order who rejoiced at it, and the Friar Preachers who directed them, Catherine was clothed with their habit which by its black and white draperies represented humility and innocence. It seems to me that the habit of no other Order would have been so suitable for her; had it been wholly white or wholly black, the signification would have been incomplete: gray which results from their mixture, could indeed have represented her mortification, but not her triumph over poisonous natural pride, nor the bright purity of her virginal innocence. Catherine was the first Virgin that was ever received, in Sienna, among the Sisters of Penance, but many followed her, and the words of David may appropriately be applied to ​her: Adducentur regi, virgines post earn. (Ps. iv. 15) In her train virgins were presented to the Lord. Had the Sister reflected more seriously I presume they would not have refused her request, for she was more worthy than they to wear a habit given to the Church to symbolize innocence, and the innocence of virginity is assuredly superior to the chastity of widowhood.
Chapter VII
Of The Origin And Establishment Of The "Sisters Of Penance" Of St. Dominic, And Of Their Mode Of Life.
The following particulars I have drawn from manuscripts which I consulted in Italy, from informations taken from the seniors of the Order, and the members of it most worthy of trust, and the history of our blessed Founder St. Dominic. That glorious defender of the Catholic Faith, that valiant soldier of Jesus Christ, combated so victoriously the heresies that arose in Toulouse and in Italy, that by himself and his disciples, it was proved at his canonization that his doctrine and his miracles had converted, in Lombardy alone, more than a hundred thousand heretics.
However the poison of error had corrupted minds to such a degree, that all the benefices of the Church were usurped by laymen, who transmitted them in regular inheritance. The Bishops, obliged to beg for their own subsistence, had no means of reforming these abuses, and could not, in accordance with their charge, provide for the wants of regulars nor of the poor. St. Dominic who had chosen poverty for his own portion, did not wish however to see it in such a degree in the Church, and he resolved to strive to restore to her, her wealth. He collected some laymen, whom he knew to be filled with the fear of God, and organized from among them a pious soldiery, for recovering the riches of the Church, defending them, and insisting the injustice of the heretics; this plan succeeded Those who enrolled themselves, swore ​to do all in their power for the attainment of their ends proposed, and to sacrifice if necessary, their fortunes and their persons; but as their wives might sometimes offer obstacles, St. Dominic induced them to promise never to hinder their husbands, but on the contrary to assist them as far as possible. These Associates took the title of Brethren of the Militia of Jesus Christ. The holy founder desired to distinguish them among other laymen by an exterior badge and assign them some particular obligations. He prescribed to them the color of the habit of his Order; the garments of the men and women, whatever might be their shape, were to be black and white, as emblematic of innocence and humility. He imposed on them the recitation of a prescribed number of Pater and Ave, which were to supply the canonical hours, when they could not assist at the Divine Office.
Later, when our blessed Father St. Dominic had left the earth and soared away to Heaven, and his numerous miracles had decided the Church to inscribe his name in the catalog of her Saints, the Brothers and Sisters of the Militia of Jesus Christ wished to honor their glorious founder, by taking the title of Brothers of Penance of St, Dominic; besides, the merits of St. Dominic and the apostolical labors of his Order had almost banished heresy; exterior combats were no longer necessary, but it remained yet to overcome by penance, the interior enemy of the soul, and hence the new appellation was more becoming than the old one. When the number of the Friar Preachers had augmented, and Peter, (virgin and martyr,) had shone among them as a radiant star, in triumphing over his enemies, still more by his death than by his life, the troop of foxes that wished to ravage the vineyard of the Lord, was completely destroyed, and ​ God restored peace to his Church. The reasons which led to the institution of the Militia of Jesus Christ no longer existed, the association therefore lost its military characteristic. When the men who were members of it died, their widows accustomed to the religious life which they had observed, renounced marriage, and persevered in their holy practices until death. Other widows who had not contracted the same engagements, but who would not marry again imitated the Sisters of Penance and adopted their rule in order to purify themselves from past faults. By degrees their number increased in the different cities of Italy, and the Friar Preachers directed them according to the Spirit of St. Dominic. But as there was nothing settled in this direction, a Spanish Friar, called Brother Munie, a Religious of saintly memory, who had governed the whole Order, committed the Rule to writing, and it still exists. This Rule is not absolutely a religious Rule, because it does not require the three Vows, which are the foundation of every Religious Order.
The Sisters of Penance continually increasing in numbers and sanctity, the sovereign Pontiff Honorius IV., in consideration of their merit, granted them by a bull, the permission to hear the Offices in the Churches of the Friar Preachers, even during the period of the interdict; John XXII, after having promulgated the bull Clementina against the Beguiues and the Begards, declared formally that his prohibitions did not extend to "St. Dominic's Sister of Penance, which existed in Italy and in whose Rule there was nothing that needed change.
Chapter VIII
Of Catherine's Admirable Progress In The Ways Of God, And Of Some Particular Graces She Received.
Catherine did not pronounce the three vows of Religion on taking the habit of Saint Dominic, but she took the resolution of observing them perfectly: there could be no deliberation concerning that of chastity, because she had already taken the Yow of virginity. She promised to obey all that the father Master of the Sisters of Penance prescribed her, and also the orders of their Prioress. During her whole life she was so faithful to this engagement, that she was able to declare to her Confessor on her death-bed: that she could not remember having failed even once in obedience.
Catherine also observed the vow of Poverty perfectly. When she lived in her father's house and plenty reigned in it, she took nothing for herself; only she bestowed alms on the poor, for her father had given her full latitude on this point. She loved poverty so much, that she acknowledged, that nothing could console her for not finding it in her family. She asked God ardently to deign to render her parents poor: "Lord,"' said she, "is it not better that I ask for my parents and brothers, the goods of eternity: I know that those of earth are accompanied with ills and dangers, and I wish that they may not be exposed to them." God heard her prayer: extraordinary circumstances reduced her parents to extreme poverty, without any fault on their part, as can be ​easily proved by those who know them. After laying such foundations, Catherine began to raise the edifice of her perfection, like an industrious bee she profited by every occasion of advancing and took every means possible of living a more retired life and one more closely united to her divine Spouse. She proposed, in order to preserve herself unsullied by the world, to observe the most rigorous silence, and never to speak except when she went to confess her sins. Her Confessor who preceded me, declared and wrote that she observed this resolution during three years. She remained in her cell continually except when she went to Church; not even leaving it to take her food, which was, as we have already said, the veriest trifle; again, she bedewed her repasts with her tears, and never commenced one without offering to God the tribute of her grief. Who can recount her vigils, her prayers, her meditations and her sighs, in the solitude which she had found in her own house and amid the noise of the city. She had arranged her time so as to watch while the Dominicans whom she called her Brothers were sleeping, and when she heard the second toll for Matins, she said to her divine Spouse: "Lord, my brethren who serve you, have slept until now, and I have watched for them in thy presence, praying thee to preserve them from evil and the wiles of the enemy. Now that they are rising to offer thee their praises, protect them and suffer me to take a short repose" — and then she would lie down on her planks using, a piece of wood for her pillow.
He whom she loved, smiled upon her ardor and encouraged it by new graces, he was unwilling that so faithful a lamb should be destitute of a pastor, and a pupil so desirous of improvement without a good master; but he ​gave her neither an angel nor a man, but appeared to her himself in her little cell and taught her whatever might prove useful to her soul. "Be sure, father," said she to me, "that naught that I know concerning the ways of salvation was taught by mere man; it was my Lord and Master, the cherished Spouse of my soul, our Lord Jesus Christ, who revealed it to me by his inspirations and by his apparitions. He spoke to me, as I now speak to you." She owned to me that, in the beginning of her visions, when she perceived them by her exterior senses, she dreaded being deceived by Satan; our Lord far from being offended extolled her prudence. The traveler, said he to her, should be ever on his guard, for t is written: Blessed is the man that lives in fear. (Prov. xxviii. 14) " If you wish I will teach you, how you can discern my visions, from the visions of the enemy." And as Catherine begged him earnestly, our Lord continued: "It would be easy to enlighten your soul directly and show you how to distinguish at once, the origin of thy visions; but for your utility and the benefit of others, I will tell you what the doctors teach, to whom I have made known my truth: my visions commence by terror and continue in peace; their arrival or presentation is attended with a certain bitterness which little by little changes into sweetness. The contrary happens in the visions of the bad spirit; — they begin with a certain joy, but always terminate by plunging the soul into trouble; and this is just, for our ways are widely different. The way of penance and my commandments at first appears rude and painful; but as the soul advances, it becomes easy and delightful; in the way of evil on the contrary, the first moments are agreeable; but trouble and danger soon show themselves. I will ​give thee one more, and an infallible sign. My vision render the soul humble, by giving it the grace of comprehending the truth of its unworthiness. But as the demon is the father of falsehood and the prince of pride, he can only give of what he possesses; his visions always engender in the soul a certain self-esteem which excites it to vanity. Examine thyself therefore, with care and see whether thy visions proceed from the truth, or the opposite; truth excites humility, falsehood creates pride."
From this moment, her heavenly visions and communications multiplied to such a degree, that the most active conversation between two friends, would not suffice to illustrate the exchange of thoughts between Catherine and her divine Spouse. Her prayers, meditation and spiritual reading, her vigils and her short repose, all were blessed with the same divine presence. These supernatural relations are the origin and cause of her abstinence, her admirable doctrine and her miracles, of which God rendered us witnesses during her life.
In the beginning of my acquaintance with her, I had heard so many marvellous things concerning her, that I hesitated in believing them; God permitted it for greater good. I sought in all possible ways to discover some means of assuring myself, whether these phenomena came from God or from some other source — whether they were true or false. I have found many deluded souls, especially among females, whose heads are easily turned, and who are more exposed to the seductions of Satan. Certain remarks troubled me, and I desired to be satisfied by him, who can neither deceive nor be deceived, when suddenly the thought came to my mind, that if I were to obtain from God by Catherine's prayers, a contrition for my ​sins superior to that which I felt habitually, it would be an evident sign, that all that occurred came from the Holy Spirit, for no one can have a true contrition except by the Holy Spirit, and although we are ignorant, whether we are worthy of love or of hatred, contrition of heart is a proof that we are in the grace of God. I did not say a word of these thoughts which occupied me; but went to Catherine, and earnestly asked of her to please to obtain from God the remission of my sins. She answered me with a joy replete with charity, that she would most willingly comply, and I then added, that to satisfy my desire I must have a satisfactory evidence, namely, an extraordinary contrition for my sins. She assured me that she would obtain it, and on the morrow she was conversing with me, when her discourse insensibly turned on God and on the ingratitude with which we offend his goodness. While she spoke, I had a sudden vision of my sins, of surprising accuracy and distinctness: I saw myself, divested of all things, in the presence of my Judge, and I felt that I merited death, as do malefactors when stricken by the justice of men; I saw also the bounty of my Judge, who by his grace took me into his service and replaced death by life, fear by hope, sorrow by joy, and shame by glory. These mental visions so triumphed over my hardness and obduracy of heart, that I began to shed torrents of tears over my sins: and my grief became so profound that I thought I should die of it.
Catherine, whose end was accomplished, kept silence, and left me to my tears and sobs. Some moments after in the midst of my surprise at these interior dispositions, I remembered my request and the promise she had made me on the eve: I turned towards her, and said, " Is not ​this the gift I asked for yesterday?" "The same," answered she, and added, "Remember the graces of God." My companion and myself were filled with gladness and edification — and I exclaimed with the incredulous Thomas — "my Lord and my God" — Dominus mens et Deus meus, (John xx. 28)
I received another proof of Catherine's sanctity which I relate to her honor and my own confusion. She was detained by sufferings in her bed, and she sent me notice that she desired to speak with me concerning some revelations. I went and approached her couch; she began then, notwithstanding the fever which burned in her veins, to discourse to me of God, and to explain to me all that had been revealed to her during the day; the things were so extraordinary, that I forgot what had just happened to me, and I asked myself, "must I believe what she says ?" While I hesitated and looked at her, her countenance suddenly changed into that of a stern man who was regarding me fixedly, and who filled me with terror: her oval face indicated the plenitude of life; her scanty beard was the color of wheat, and her whole countenance bore the impress of that majesty which revealed the holy presence of God. It was impossible for me to perceive any other countenance than hers. I was thoroughly terrified, and exclaimed, with lifted hands: "Oh who looks at me thus?" Catherine answered, "He that is!" The vision disappeared, and I again saw the face of Catherine, which I could not distinguish before. My understanding was enlightened with such an abundant light, chiefly upon the subject of our discourse, that I then comprehended that word of our Lord, when promising the coming of the Holy Ghost: "Et quae ventura sunt annuntiabit vobis. (John. xvi. 13 )
Chapter IX
Of The Admirable Doctrine Taught Her By Our Lord, And Which She Adopted As Her Rule Of Life.
Let us now examine the spiritual edifice of Catherine's perfection, with the grace of Him who is its cornerstone and foundation; and as faithful souls find their life and their strength in the word of God, let us first dwell upon the lessons that she received directly from the beloved Master. In the beginning of her visions, Catherine related to her Confessors, that our Lord appeared to her, while she was meditating and said to her: " Know, my daughter, what you are and what I am; if you learn these two things, you shalt be truly blest: you are what is not, and I am the great I Am; if thy soul is deeply penetrated with this truth, the enemy cannot deceive you and you will avoid all his snares; you will never consent to do any thing against my commandments, and you will acquire without difficulty, grace, truth and peace." In this short and simple doctrine, do we not find the "length, breadth, and height" of which St. Paul speaks to the Christians of Ephesus ? Our Lord also said to her in another apparition: "Daughter think of me and I will think continually on thee." Catherine comprehended this saying to mean, that God commanded her by this, to banish all her own thoughts from her heart, and keep no thoughts but his, without being anxious about herself and her salvation, so that no distraction could enter into it for God knows all, and can do all, and he will watch and provide for the necessities of such as meditate on him and ​find in it supreme happiness. Hence when we entertained any fear concerning ourselves or our Brethren, she would often say — "What do you wish to do with yourselves; let Providence act; amid your greatest dangers the divine eye watches over you; and it will ever protect you." This virtue of hope her divine Spouse had infused into her soul, when he said to her I will think on thee.
I remember that, being on board of a ship with her and many other persons, the wind lowered into a dead calm towards midnight, and the pilot became extremely anxious. We were in a dangerous channel; if the wind had taken us sideways, we might have been thrown on some neighboring islands or floated into the open sea. I gave notice to Catherine of our danger. She answered in her ordinary tone: "Why do you annoy yourself with that, or suffer yourself to be distracted ? "I remained silent and became re-assured; but soon the wind veered in the direction dreaded by the pilot; I mentioned it to Catherine: " Let him change the helm, in the name of God, " said she, " and let him sail in the direction of the wind that Heaven will send him." The pilot obeyed and we returned backward, but she prayed with her head bent forward, and we had not advanced farther than a bow shot, when the favorable wind that had forsaken us blew freshly, and we arrived at the hour of Matins, at the desired port, while singing the Te Deum, This narrative should not be placed here, in the order of time, but I relate it because it serves and explains my subject. Yes, whoever reflects, must see that the second verity follows as a consequence from the first, if a soul recognizes that she is nothing in herself, and that she exists solely by God, she will not confide in herself in any action, but in the agency of God alone. She will put all her trust in the Lord, ​and place all her thoughts in him, according to the words of the Psalmist. This does not hinder her from doing all that is possible to her, because this holy confidence proceeds from love — love produces in the soul a desire of the object beloved; that desire provokes to the performance of all acts that are capable of satisfying it. Activity is in relation with love, but that does not hinder her giving her confidence to God, and rejecting all self reliance, as she is taught by the knowledge that she has acquired of her own nothingness and of the perfection of her Creator.
She frequently spoke to me of the state of a soul which loves her Creator, and she told me that, "that soul finished by no longer perceiving herself and forgetting herself together with all creatures," As I requested an explanation, she told me: -"The soul that comprehends its nothingness, and is convinced that all its good comes from the Creator, resigns itself so perfectly and plunges itself so totally in God, that all its activity is directed towards him, and exercised in him. She is unwilling to come forth from the centre in which she has found the perfection, of happiness: and that union of love which daily augments in her, transforms her, so to speak, into God so that she is incapable of entertaining other thoughts, or other desires, or other love than love of him, indeed the remembrance of all things else forsakes her. This is the lawful love of ourselves and of creatures, a love that cannot err, because the soul of necessity follows the divine will, and does nothing, and desires nothing out of God."
In this union of the soul with God, Catherine found another verity, which she taught continually to those whom the directed: "The soul united to God," said she, ​"loves him as much as she detests the sensual part of her being. The love of God, naturally engenders a hatred of sin, and when the soul discovers that the germ of sin is in her senses, and that in them it takes its root, she cannot avoid hating her senses, and endeavoring, not indeed to destroy them, but to annihilate the vice that is in them, and she cannot attain to this but by great and continued efforts: the root of faults will indeed always exist; for according to St. John. "if we say that we have no sin we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us." (1 John i. 8)
"O eternal bounty of God !" exclaimed Catherine, "what have you done? From faults spring virtue, from offence pardon, and in contempt love puts forth its blossoms. O then, my children, endeavor to possess that holy hatred of self, it renders you humble, it will give you patience in tribulations, moderation in prosperity, restraint in your deportment, and you will become agreeable to God and man." And she added: "Woe, woe to the soul which has not this holy hatred, for where it does not exist, self-love must reign, and self-love is the cause of all sin, and the root of all vices."
The same doctrine is found in the words that the Apostle heard in Heaven, when he prayed for deliverance from temptation: "Strength is perfected in weakness; " and he added, "I glory in my weaknesses, in order that the power of Christ may dwell in me." We may, therefore, conclude that the doctrine of Catherine had for its foundation the firm rock of virtue which is Jesus Christ.
Chapter X
Of The Admirable Victories Which She Gained Over Temptations And Her Extraordinary Intimacy With Our Lord.
The pacific King had erected the fortress of Libanua, for protecting Jerusalem against Damascus. The haughty prince of Babylon, the enemy of peace, was enraged; he collected his armies against it, and wished to overthrow it. But he who gives and preserves peace, surrounded his fortress by magnificent and impregnable ramparts. Not only the darts of the enemy were powerless, but they returned against those who launched them and gave them death. So, when the old serpent saw Catherine, so young, mounting to such a high degree of perfection, he feared lest, with her salvation, that of many others would be secured; and that she might assist the Church by her virtues and her teaching. He therefore sought in his infernal malice, every means of seducing her; but the God of mercy, who permitted these attacks, in order to augment the glory of his spouse, gave her such excellent weapons wherewith to combat, that the war proved more profitable to her than peace. He first inspired her with the thought of asking God for the gift of fortitude: she did so continually during several days; and God to recompense her prayer, gave her the following instructions:
"Daughter, if thou wilt acquire fortitude, thou must imitate me. I could have, by my divine power, arrested the effort of Satan, and have taken other means of overcoming ​them, but I was desirous of instructing thee by my examples, and teaching thee to overcome by means of the Cross. If you want to become powerful against your enemies, take the Cross for thy safeguard. Has not my Apostle told thee that I ran with joy to the cruel and ignominious death of Mt. Calvary. (Heb. XII 2) Choose, therefore, to have trials and afflictions; endure them not only with patience, but embrace them with delight; they are lasting treasures, for the more thou wilt suffer for me, the more thou wilt be like me, and according to the doctrine of the Apostle, the more thou wilt resemble me in sufferings, the more, also, thou shalt be like unto me in grace and glory. Regard, therefore, my beloved child, on my account, sweet things as bitter, and bitter things as sweet, and be certain thou shalt always be strong." Catherine profited so well by this lesson, and after it received trials with so much joy, that she acknowledged to me, that nothing exterior consoled her so much as pains and afflictions; she suffered when she was deprived of them, because she felt that they were the gems which would enrich her heavenly crown. When the King of heaven and earth, had thus armed her who was destined to defend his cause, he permitted the enemy to advance and assail her. The devils attacked her on every side, and made unheard of efforts to overthrow her: they commenced by the most humiliating temptations and presented them to her imagination, not only during sleep, but in exciting phantoms which might have defiled her eyes and ears, and they tormented her in a thousand ways. These combats are horrible to relate, but the victory which followed them ought to be a source of joy to pure souls. Catherine combated courageously against herself, by mortifying her flesh with a chain of ​iron and shedding an abundance of blood. She augmented her vigils so far as to deprive herself of all sleep.
Her enemies refused to retire, — they assumed the appearance of persons who came to pity and advise her: "Why poor little one, will you thus torture yourself and so uselessly ? Why use all these mortifications — do you suppose you can be able to continue them — will you not thus destroy your body and become guilty of suicide? It is better to renounce these follies ere you become their victim, you can yet enjoy the world, you are young and your body would speedily recover its strength. You desire to please God, but there are many among the Saints who were married, as Sarah, Rebecca, Leah and Rachel, why be so imprudent as to select a mode of life in which you cannot persevere." To all these discourses Catherine only opposed prayer, and as to perseverance she simply replied, "I trust in the arm of the Lord, and not in mine." The devils could never obtain more. She gave as a general rule against such temptations, never to dispute with the enemy, for he relies very much on vanquishing us by the subtlety of his reason.
Then Satan laid aside his reasonings and adopted a new method of attack; the devils pursuing her with screams and inviting her to partake of their abominations. In vain did she close her eyes and ears, she could not banish these horrible spectres, and to crown her affliction, her divine Spouse, who had usually come to visit and comfort her, seemed to abandon her without any relief visible or invisible; hence her soul was plunged into a profound melancholy, without however obtaining from her the cessation of her austerities, or her mental prayer, and she gave this following maxim to souls which she conducted, "When the Christian soul perceives her fervor ​diminishing on account of some fault or some temptation permitted by Providence, she ought to continue her spiritual exercises and even multiply them, instead of forsaking or lessening them. "
Catherine, faithful to the inspirations of God, excited a holy hatred against herself — " thou vilest of creatures, " said she to herself, "art thou worthy of receiving any consolations, recall to mind thy sins, it will be a great favor if you avoid eternal wrath by supporting during a life time these pains and this obscurity. Why then be afflicted; should you escape hell, Jesus Christ can console thee during all eternity; it was not for present enjoyment thou resolved to serve him, but in order to possess him in Heaven; arise then, abandon none of thy pious practices, and celebrate in a more animated strain the praises of thy Creator." Thus by her humility she confounded the prince of darkness, and drew strength from the precepts of Wisdom. Her apartment seemed to be infested with these impure spirits, she therefore left it and stayed as long as possible in the Church, because these infernal obsessions tormented her less when there.
This trial continued during several days, when on returning from the Church, being engaged in prayer, a ray of the Holy Spirit beamed upon her soul and recalled to her memory that she had requested, a short time previous, the gift of fortitude, and that God had indicated to her the means for obtaining it. She instantly comprehended the cause of this dreadful temptation and resolved to bear it with holy courage, as long as it pleased her divine Spouse. Then one evil spirit, more malicious thin the others, said to her: " Poor miserable soul, what thou are about to undertake — can you pass thy whole life in this state — we will torment thee to death, unless thou dost ​obey us. " Catherine remembering the advice she had received answered: "I have chosen sufferings for my consolation; not only will it not be difficult for me, but even delightful to undergo similar afflictions and even greater ones, for the love of my Jesus, and as long as his majesty wills!"
Instantaneously the demons fled in overwhelming shame, and a great light from above descended into her room filling it with heavenly brightness: in the midst of its brilliancy appeared our Lord Jesus Christ, such as he was on the Cross, when he opened heaven with his sacred Blood. "Catherine my daughter," said he, "consider how I have suffered for thee, and it will never be painful for thee to suffer for me." Then he assumed a less dolorous form in order to comfort Catherine, and he spoke to her of the victory that she had just gained; but she, like St. Anthony, said to him; "Lord where were you, when my heart was so tormented?" "I was in the midst of thy heart." "Ah I Lord, thou are the everlasting truth and I humbly bow before thy majesty; but how can I believe that thou were in my heart, when it was filled with such detestable thoughts ?" "Did these thoughts and temptations, give thee pleasure or pain ?" "An excessive pain and sadness." "Thou were sad and in suffering because I was hidden in the midst of thy heart. Had I been absent, these thoughts would have penetrated thy heart and would have filled thee with joy; but my presence rendered them insupportable to thee: thou wanted to repel them because thou held them in horror, and it was because thou did not succeed that thou were borne down with sadness. I acted in thy soul, I defended thee against thy enemy; I was in the interior and I only permitted these attacks from without, inasmuch as they could ​prove useful to thy salvation; when the period which I had determined for the combat had elapsed, I sent my beams of light and the shades of hell were dissipated, because they could not resist the light. Is it not I in fine who gives thee to comprehend that these trials were serviceable to thou for the acquisition of strength, and that it was thy duty to support them cordially, according to my good pleasure ? Because thou have accepted them with thy whole heart, thou are delivered from them by my presence; what pleases me is not trouble, but the will that supports it courageously. I created thou in my own image and likeness, and I have assimilated myself to you, in taking thy nature. I never cease rendering thou like to me, so long as thou offer no obstacle, and what I did during my mortal life, I strive to renew in thy soul as long as thy pilgrimage endures. Therefore beloved daughter, it is not by thy virtue, but mine, that thou have so generously combatted, and merited such an abundant grace; now I will visit thou more often and more familiarly than ever."
The vision disappeared and Catherine remained absorbed with a joy and sweetness that words cannot express; her heart was especially inebriated with the way in which our Lord addressed her: "Catherine , my daughter." When relating to her Confessor what she then experienced, she besought him to employ the same expressions, in order to renew in her soul their ineffable sweetness.
From that moment the heavenly Spouse visited her with a familiarity which would appear incredible, were we ignorant of what has preceded. But the soul that knows by experience that the goodness of God is above all that man can imagine, will see in the following only things very possible and very probable. The Lord appeared ​to her frequently and remained a long time with her; sometimes bringing with him his holy Mother, sometimes St. Dominic, and occasionally both together; then St. Mary Magdalen, St. John the Evangelist, St Paul and other Saints, separately or in company, according to his good pleasure. But he came alone most commonly, and conversed with her as one friend with another, when on the most intimate terms. She blushingly avowed to me that our Lord recited Psalms with her, while walking in her room, just as two Religious when reciting their Office. The infinite benevolence of God varies his gifts in each of his saints, so that his magnificence may be made manifest in details as in combination.
Chapter XI
Of Her Marriage With Our Lord, And Of The Miraculous Ring That She Received
The soul of Catherine became daily more enriched with the grace of the Saviour. She flew rather than walked in the paths of virtue, and she conceived the holy desire of arriving at so perfect a degree of faith, that nothing would henceforth be capable of separating her from her divine Spouse, whom her heart aspired alone to please. She therefore besought God to augment her faith, and render it sufficiently strong to resist any and every enemy. Our Blessed Lord answered her, "I will espouse thee in faith." And each time Catherine renewed her prayer, Jesus Christ repeated the same answer. One day, at the approach of the holy season of Lent, when Christians celebrate the Carnival, or a foolish adieu to the viands which the Church is on the eve of prohibiting, Catherine withdrew into her cell there to enjoy her Spouse more intimately by fasting and prayer: she reiterated her petition with more fervor than ever, and our Lord answered her: "Because thou have shunned the vanities of the world and forbidden pleasure, and have fixed on me alone all the desires of thy heart, I intend, while thy family are rejoicing in profane feasts and festivals, to celebrate the wedding which is to unite me to thy soul. I am going, according to my promise to espouse thee in Faith." Jesus Christ then spoke once more, when the Blessed Virgin appeared; and with ​his glorious Mother, St. John the Evangelist, His apostle St. Paul, St. Dominic, founder of her Order, and with them the prophet David who drew from his harp tones of heavenly sweetness. The Mother of God took in her holy hand, the right hand of Catherine, in order to present it to her Son, asking Him to deign to espouse her in Faith. The Saviour consented to it with love, and offered her a golden ring, set with four precious stones, in the centre of which blazed a magnificent diamond. He placed it himself on Catherine's finger, saying to her: "I thy Creator and Redeemer, espouse thee in Faith and thou shalt preserve it pure, until we celebrate together in Heaven the eternal nuptials of the Lamb. Daughter, now act courageously; accomplish without fear the works that my Providence will confide to thee; thou are armed with Faith, thou shalt triumph over all thy enemies." The vision disappeared, and the ring remained on the finger of Catherine. She saw it, but it was invisible to others. She acknowledged to me, while blushes mantled her cheek, that it never left her, and that she was never weary with admiring it. There was already one Catherine, queen and martyr, who, after baptism, espoused our Lord. We have here a second, who, after many victories won of the flesh and the devil, celebrated also her regal espousals with Jesus Christ.
Let us admire the beauties of her ring, and observe its mysterious meaning. What is there stronger than diamond ? it resists everything by its hardness and penetrates the most solid bodies, nothing but lamb's blood can cause it to sparkle. In like manner, the faithful heart triumphs over all difficulties by fortitude, and only yields to the Blood of Jesus Christ. The four precious stones indicate four kinds of purity practiced by Catherine, ​purity of intention, purity of thought, of word and of action. This marriage seems to me to be a confirmation in divine grace; the ring was a visible pledge of it for her, but not for others. Amid the waves of the sea of life, she was destined to save a great number of souls, by confiding them to the succor of heaven and without dreading for herself either shipwreck or tempest. The holy Doctors explain why God often, by a special favor, reveals to his predestinate that they will persevere in his love and in his grace. It is because he wishes to send them into the midst of a corrupt world, for the glory of his Name, and for the salvation of souls. On the day of Pentecost, the Apostles received a striking evidence of their mission; it was also said to St. Paul, "my grace is sufficient for thee." Sufficit tibi gratia mea. (II. Cor. xii. 9) Catherine, although a woman, was to be an apostle in the world and convert many souls; she received a sensible sign of grace in order to accomplish with more courage the divine work that was entrusted to her. What was most surprising in Catherine, is that the token of grace, transient for others, was permanent and ever visible to her, I think that God bestowed it on her because of the weakness of her sex; the novelty of her mission, and the perversity of our time were to present difficulties greater than any other; and it was necessary that she should be continually sustained in her holy undertaking.
With this first part of her history terminates her silent and retired life. We shall see in the second what she did among men for the glory of God and for the salvation of souls. Her guide was always our Lord Jesus Christ, who lives and reigns with the Father and Holy Ghost, world without end. Amen.