# Heaven Revealed/Chapter 16

XVI.
MEETING AND RECOGNITION OF FRIENDS IN THE HEREAFTER.
IN view of what has been said in the foregoing chapter, questions like the following will naturally arise: Shall we not, then, meet our earthly friends in the spiritual world? Shall we not recognize them and be recognized by them in return? Will not the mother meet her darling child, and know and love it as her own? Will not husbands and wives, brothers and sisters, meet there in tender and loving embrace, and remember and renew the relation they sustained in the natural world? Is not the desire for such reunions in the Hereafter, among the implanted instincts of our nature? And in seasons of sore bereavement do we not derive support and solace from the belief that this natural and deep desire of our hearts will be granted?
Most assuredly. And there is no reason to doubt ​that it will be granted. Every implanted instinct of our nature will have its demands satisfied in the spiritual world. Every one will, therefore, be permitted to see and recognize the friends he has known and loved on earth, and to remain in their company so long as may be mutually agreeable. But such meeting and mutual recognition in the Hereafter, take place in the intermediate state or world of spirits, where all souls go immediately after the death of the body. This is neither heaven nor hell, but a realm or state between the two, like the world in which we are now living, and having communication with both. This is the realm or state in which they find themselves immediately after leaving the body, for bodily death effects no change whatever in the character. They are, when they first awake to consciousness, in a state precisely similar to that in which they were before death. The same external thoughts or affections, the same natural or external memory, the same natural desires and feelings are still alive and active. Hence the reason why everything on a person's entrance into the other world, appears there precisely as it did here; for in that world everything without corresponds to the individual's own state—to the thoughts and feelings within him. So long, therefore, as he continues in the same external state in which he was before death, will he see around him objects similar to those by which he was surrounded on earth,—so similar, indeed, that it is often hard for a person to be quickly convinced that he has actually passed through the gate of death. And he will have precisely the same face as before; for the face in the other world ​corresponds to the mental state, or to the thoughts and affections that are present and active.
It is in the world of spirits, therefore, where all are in the same mental state in which they were when on earth, and therefore look just the same, that friends and natural relatives meet and converse, and share each other's society so long as their intercourse proves mutually agreeable. If some have died many years before, and gone to their final home, either in the upper or the nether realms according as their real character may have been heavenly or infernal, they are, through the Divine mercy, temporarily remitted into the world of spirits; that is, they are brought into the same state of exterior memory, thought and affection in which they were when in the flesh; consequently their faces appear just the same as they did in this world. In this state of their exteriors it may be mutually agreeable to remain in each other's company for a considerable time. But if they are spiritually and internally unlike, the dissimilarity will shortly reveal itself, and they will not long be happy in each other's society. As the interiors of each become more and more manifest to the other, they will feel a mutual repulsion, and will desire to separate. And when they shall have come fully into the state of their interiors, the quality of which determines the kind of society they are fitted for, then whatever disagrees with their ruling loves is removed from their exteriors; their external memory which enabled them when on earth to recall their relationship and all belonging to it, becomes closed or quiescent; and their faces take on an expression corresponding to the char​acter of their interiors. And when their interiors are fully laid open, if their characters or loves are different, they will not only be disinclined to remain together, but will appear as strangers to each other. Their natural memory being lost or closed, they will no longer remember their former friendship or relationship; nay, they will not know that they have ever seen each other before, though they may have dwelt for years beneath the same roof, and sustained the most intimate of earthly relations. Their faces, too, will appear unfamiliar, being no longer such as they had been in the world, but so changed as to be the images of their ruling loves.
In the intermediate state or world of spirits, therefore, where all, being still in externals, appear as they did on earth, friends and natural relatives meet and recognize each other, and remain together as long as they desire. But when their natural memory and affections have faded or become quiescent, and they have entered into the state of their interiors, then natural relatives cease to be remembered or thought of; and if their characters are essentially unlike, they will no longer desire to remain together, having no affinity for each other.
In accordance with what is here taught is the following. Which tells us why those who have been closely related on earth, will ultimately be as strangers to each other in the world beyond, if there be no internal likeness—no spiritual relationship between them.
It must not be inferred, however, from what has been said, that natural relationships are necessarily incompatible with spiritual; or that those who have been closely related on earth, cannot also be internally related, and so dwell together forever. On the contrary, we are taught that those who have been near and dear to each other in the flesh—members of the same family on earth—may, if they become regenerated, become still nearer and dearer to each other in heaven, and forever dwell together in the same angelic society. We are taught that marriages may take place in this world upon a deep spiritual ground—that is, between parties who are the spiritual complements of each other. Where this is the case, the union is a truly conjugial one—is at once both spiritual and natural. And because it is a union of souls as well as of bodies, therefore the death of the body will not dissolve it. They will remain united forever, being the complements of each other. And their union in heaven will be more full and complete, and attended with delights as far superior to those that accompany marriage here below, as heaven is superior to earth or angels superior to men. This, however, ​only when there is a union of souls between the parties. If the union is merely external, and the two have no spiritual affinity, it will not be renewed or continued in the Hereafter.
The same remarks are applicable to other earthly relationships. They may be, and sometimes are, continued in heaven, with their pleasures refined, their joys exalted, and their delights immensely increased. This, too, is what the great seer teaches.
Such is Swedenborg's teaching concerning the meeting and recognition of friends in the Hereafter, and the continuance or cessation of natural relationships. Does it sound like the ravings of a madman or the utterances of a fanatic? Stretch your imagination to the utmost, and see if you can conceive of any different view that is at once so rational, philosophical, and scriptural as this.
The doctrine here disclosed is one that fully meets the demands of our reason as well as of our God-implanted desires and instincts. It satisfies the cravings of even the strongest natural affection. It permits the ​bereaved wife or husband to indulge the fond hope of meeting in the Hereafter the beloved companion gone before. It gives to all who are bound by the ties of natural consanguinity, the comforting assurance that when death snatches from their embrace some dearly loved one—a parent, child, brother, sister, husband, or wife—the separation will be but for a season;—that they may confidently rely on a blissful reunion in the spiritual realm. What solace there is in such assurance! What balm to bereaved affection! What support in seasons of deepest sorrow!
And while the doctrine deals so tenderly with the natural affections, while it ministers all the comfort which the heart is capable of receiving in times of sore bereavement, it at the same time discloses a more exalted and heavenly state of affection than the natural, and a higher and holier relationship than that between members of the same family on earth. It teaches that the truest and holiest brotherhood, that of which the natural is but a faint image, exists between those who have been "born from above"—"born of the Spirit"—and have become children of the Heavenly Father. It teaches that natural relationships cease in the spiritual realm, and are succeeded by higher and holier relationships; that natural kindred, when they come fully into the state of their interiors, will (if they are spiritually far asunder) no longer see or know each other, and will lose all remembrance of their earthly relationship. It thus furnishes a rational and philosophical solution of a problem that has hitherto embarrassed theologians, and been a trouble to many pious minds. For it shows us that ​those who enter heaven will never have their peace disturbed by the harrowing thought that some of their near kindred in the flesh are in the nether realms; for although this may be true, they will know nothing of it, having no recollection of their natural kindred. And if their states are very unlike, they would not recognize them should they see them. Their voices would sound unfamiliar, and their faces would be as the faces of strangers. Though kindred in the flesh, they are kindred no longer; for the flesh and all its belongings have been laid aside.
Thus does the spiritual in all things transcend the natural. Thus do the tenderest earthly relationships, having fulfilled their appointed use on earth, fade and die out from the memory and the affections in the great Hereafter; and in their stead spring up those higher and nobler spiritual relationships, determined not by the accident of natural birth, but by the new birth from Above, and the consequent proximity or likeness to the Heavenly Father.
Such is the doctrine as revealed for the New Church on this subject. While it accords with the spirit of holy Scripture and with all we know of the Divine character and attributes, it agrees also with the highest spiritual philosophy, and satisfies the sternest demands of the understanding and the intensest longings of the heart.