# Punch/Volume 147/Issue 3817/Charivaria

A weekly selection of short humorous items, normally on the first page of each issue.
CHARIVARIA.
Reports still continue to come in as to the outbursts of rage which took place in Germany when the news of our participation in the War reached that country. Seeing that we had merely been asked to allow our friends to be robbed and murdered, our interference is looked upon as peculiarly gratuitous.
We here, by the way, that the Germans, who hold Kiao-chau on a long lease, appealed unsuccessfully to Leaseholders’ Protection Societies all over the world to intervene in defence of their interests.
We understand that a new version of the Kaiser's famous "Yellow Peril" cartoon (it bore the inscription "Nations of Europe, protext your property!") is in preparation at Tokio, in which a jaundiced Kaiser is delineated as the Yellow Peril.
Those persons who complain that the Allies are too frequently on the defensive forget that it is very difficult to be as offensive as the Germans.
The report that among the troops which entered Brussels was a bear dressed up in infamous taste to represent the King of the Belgians is denied in Germany. It is quite possible that he was merely one of the Prussian officers.
The Giornale d’Italia reports that, at a meeting of cardinals held in Rome, it was decided to issue an appeal to the belligerents to agree to a truce pending the election of a new Pope. It is thought, however, that the Kaiser will refuse even such a reasonable request as this.
It is rumoured that Wilhelm II. has despatched all his British uniforms to King George. This, anyhow, should be remembered to his credit. He did not wish to disgrace them.
The temptation to call the Kaiser names is, of course, almost irresistible, but we are rather surprised to come across the following head-lines in our serious contemporary, The Observer:—
   "Brussels—and After. The German Sweep."
There would seem to be no end to the social horrors of the War. The Teuton journal Manufakturist is now prophesying that one of its results will be the substitution of German for French fashions.
The title of "The King of Prussia," one of the oldest licensed houses at Barnet, is to be altered. Every effort, we understand, is being made in Germany to keep the news from the Kaiser.
People must not come down too heavily on Keir Hardie. We honestly believe that he honestly believes that his little views are right. That's what makes his case so sad.
The Dominican Revolution, it is announced, has ended. It is supposed to have been unable to stand the competition of the bigger war.
There appears to be considerable difference of opinion as to whether those persons who are in want of a holiday should take it as usual or not. The "Take your Change" movement may be quite right for women and children; but the "Leave your Change" movement is better still.
According to The Evening News three elephants have been requisitioned from the Zoo at the White City by the military authorities. In Berlin, no doubt, this will be taken to signify that our heavy cavalry mounts are giving out.
The Committee of the Masters of the Foxhounds Association have decided that, while regular hunting will be impossible, they consider it would be most prejudicial to the country in general if it were allowed to lapse altogether. In this, we understand, the Committee and the foxes to not see eye to eye, the latter taking the view that hunting men ought now to devote their entire attention to more important matters.
"German Driven Back From Antwerp" read an indignant old lady. "Driven, indeed!" she explained; "I'd have made them walk!"
The statement issued to the Press by Messrs. Sutton and Sons to the effect that large supplies of bulbs from Holland are now being delivered at Reading in as good a condition as ever has, we hear, had a distinctly steadying effect on the country at large.
From Hoylake comes the news that certain persons who live in a street there called Prussia Road have petitioned the Urban District Council for a change of name—and it is rumoured that the Council, with a view to saving the ratepayers’ pockets, have hit upon the ingenious idea of obliterating the first name only of the present name—thereby also paying a well-deserved compliment to a distinguished ally.
A clerk who left a month ago for a week in lovely Lucerne and has only just been able to get back found his employer (a merchant with a strain of German blood in his veins) quite angry. "I have half a mind to dismiss you for exceeding your leave," he said. "However, you are useful to me. Only please understand that you have now had your holiday for the next three years as well."