# Because of Julie

Extracted from Appleton's magazine, v.10 1907, pp. 651-659. Accompanying illustrations by Frank Verbeck may be omitted.
BECAUSE OF JULIE
HOW THE MEMBERS OF TURTLE LAKE CLUB ELECTED OFFICERS
By EMERSON HOUGH
THE chairman of the Central Committee leaned back and reached for the match box the table. A yelp announced the presence of a recumbent hound beneath him when he let down his chair legs.
"Well, look out then!" he commented, annoyed. "Hang it, Buck, these dogs are under foot all the time. Why don't you keep 'em out at the kennels?"
Buck, the keeper of Turtle Lake Club, threw down his armfuls of wood and smiled. "Bâ oui, M'sieu," he replied, "dose dawg, she's nuisance all right."
"As I was saying, Williams," went on the chairman, resuming his conversation with the president of the bank, "the whole country's crazy these days. We're hysterical. First it's one thing and then another. One editor finds all our troubles due to the abolishment of the Bible from the public schools. Another insists we ought to love the negro as ourselves. Then there are the ladies, God bless 'em. Our committee was besieged with delegations of women insisting on the extension of the franchise. What with one thing and another, I must say that the rights of capital toward what it has earned in the building up of this magnificent civilization of ours——"
The bank president reached up and pulled the bell toward him, sounding it loud and long. "Violation of house rule Number Three! No shop may be talked within four miles of the clubhouse. What was Turtle Lake established for, my friend?"
"By Jove! I forgot. All right. Buck, inquire of the gentlemen." The chairman passed the matches for the other's cigar when it was brought; but resumed his discontent.
"What can we do even here? Our rights as men of prominence are denied us even in the wilderness. Once we could spear muskies right out here in front of the dock. If one of us was caught with a spear in his hand now, it'd be him for the rock-pile as soon as the dear people got wind of it. Here's our dogs—whole pack lying around, decrepit, worn out, no good. The dear people objected to our running deer with hounds. If I had my way I'd chloroform the whole kit and boiling of these dogs to-day, and the dear people with 'em. Get out, Bose! I declare, as chairman of the board of governors, I'm going to see if I haven't a little authority here."
The bank president laughed, knowing that most of this was the talk of an irritated city man wearing his first soft shirt for the season.
"Yes," said he, chuckling, "I'd like to see you around here with your little old chloroform sponge. Start in with the chloroform, Oldham, and you'll run against the whole Turtle Lake system clear back to the real and actual sovereign on the real and actual throne. Ain't that right, Buck?"
"Bâ oui, M'sieu'!" grinned Buck, making himself comfortable in a chair. At Turtle Lake men are democrats who in the city may be almost anything; plutocrats, socialists, conservatives, what it may chance. The tariff and the ghost of Thomas Jefferson, national expansion and uncrowned kings—all these questions compose themselves amicably under house rule Number Three, which has penalties attached.
"Besides, as to the dogs," went on the bank president, getting up in his moccasin feet and reaching for a black pipe over the chimney jamb, "they couldn't be kept any place else. We undertook to get rid of the dogs once. Then's when we discovered several great truths that you don't seem to have grasped as yet."
"When was that?" asked the chairman of the Central Committee.
"The first fall after the dog and deer law was passed. Tell him about it, Buck. Mr. Oldham isn't posted on the archives,"
Buck propped his great shoulders against the side of the wall and put his feet on the chair round as he felt in his own pockets for fuel for his pipe.
"I'll not know much 'bout dose h'archive," he began, "but if you mean dat tam' I'll take dose h'eighteen dawg down to Judge Gill' on Detraw', I know dat tam' all right."
Oldham raised his eyebrows in query. "How'd he happen to take the club pack down to Detroit?" he asked of the bank president.
"Oh, some of the others thought that since the dogs were no longer of use they ought to be disposed of. Theory was that Judge Gillam would take the pack over to the dog show down there and sell them for what they'd fetch. Go on, Buck, tell him about it. Show him who's boss here."
"Sure Mike, M'sieu'," rejoined Buck. "Me, I'm remember dose tam' like to-morrow, The gentlemens on dose committee tell me tak dose h'eighteen dawg on Detraw' and give it on Judge Gill'. I'll break my heart that day, when I'm start for Detraw'. Dose dawg been on the club five year, t'ree year. It belong on the club same like me. I seeck when I'm start for take dose h'eighteen dawg on Detraw'. I'll break my heart. I'll mos' break my neck also.
"You see, M'sieu' Old', it was thirty mile from dis place to Alpeen', for take schooner on Detraw', Alpeen', she's thirty mile now, she's thirty mile then, also. So me, Buck, I'm lead dose h'eighteen dawg thirty mile, all on wan rope.
"I'll know, when dose dawg come on the trail 'bout where we run the deer, all dose dawg she'll think she run deer, same like always. Dose dawg ain't know dose legislate' pass the law she ain't to run deer no more. So I'm take long rope, nineteen, forty feet long, and I'm tie dose h'eighteen dawg on dose rope, like what what you call the catfish on the set-line—bimeby, one dawg, bimeby two dawg, bimeby seven h'eight dawg; each dawg 'bout two, four feet from both dawg all 'round him. Some of dose dawg got collar, and some ain't got collar, also. When she ain't got collar I'll tie rope on his neck. All dose dawg, she's use' for to have rope on his neck till she'll come to dose place on the trail where she'll run the deer. When she'll come on dat place, she ain't use' for to have rope on his neck no more, him.
"Ba gosh, I not like for lose my dawg. No hear him no more in the sunrise—'Wow, wow woo-o-o!' No hear him no more in the wood, run the deer—'Wow, wow, woo-o-o!' And ba gosh, also I'm think we're not h'eat dose deer so much when dose dawg gone. When I'm go in dose buckbor' I'm look down my face, I'm tell you. Dose dawg, he look down its face too, also. Two, three things dis world you're not fool it. First is dawg, next is h'woomans. I'll not fool it dose dawg when I'm tell it we go run some deer. He'll walk on dose rope and he'll feel seeck, too. He'll put its tail between its head and he'll look down its nose, same like me.
"Bimeby, I'll come in dose buckbor' and lead dose h'eighteen dawg on dose rope behin' the buckbor' till we get on that place where dose dawg she's use' to run some deer. Ba gosh, then was troubles! 'Wow, wow, woo-o-o-o!' all dose h'eighteen dawg she'll holler. Also she'll tie dose rope on dose stump. I'm maybe one hour, two hour, get dose rope untie. From that place to Alpeen' is nineteen thousand stump; and every tam' dose h'eighteen dawg she'll come on a stump she'll wind itself around it. Me, Buck, I'm climb down from buckbor' and unwind dose dawg nineteen thousand tam's to Alpeen'.
"I'll goin' take some schooner from Alpeen' on Detraw', and dose schooner she'll make sail bimeby. Me, I'm step on saloon of Jacques to get a petit verre de bier. Dose small boy of Jacques, she'll stand on the dock—petit garçon, just like this—and I'm give the end of dose rope to dose small boy to hol' dose h'eighteen dawg while I go in and have petit verre de bier chez Jacques. Me, I'm wish to forget dose forty thousand stump from Turt' Lak' to Alpeen'.
"Bimeby I'm sit chez Jacques, when some wan come and say Jacques his small boy is go drown on the baie. We'll talk litt' while more, and bimeby Jacques he put his hand on his head. He say, 'Mon Dieu! dose boy she'll pull off the dock with dose h'eighteen dawg on some rope.' Me, I'm plaintee scare also. I'm think maybe dose h'eighteen dawg she'll get drown' sure. 'Spose then what'll Judge Gill' say to me?
"Well, I'm go on the dock and look on the baie. Sure 'nough, dose small boy she's on the baie, and she's swim, mix' up with dose h'eighteen dawg on the rope. Dose boy, she'll holler plaintee, and all dose dawg she'll holler plaintee, too, 'Wow, wow, woo-o-ow, woo-o-o-o-owl' I'll know what that mean. She'll say, 'For sake of Bon Dieu, Buck, save it the life!' So me, I'm find the life preserve' and throw it on the baie. Dose small boy she'll catch the life preserve' and bimeby she'll swim on the dock, and walk on the step. But dose dawg, seven, h'eight, she'll try to climb up the pile, and she'll can't do it. Seven, h'eight, she'll swim wan way; seven, h'eight, she'll swim other way. Me, I'm find the boat-hook, and Telesphore Aubien she'll find the boat-hook also, and Jacques, she'll find it too, and we'll reach down and hook on the rope. Bimeby we'll pull dose dawg on the dock. Pretty soon he'll hol' up his head and wag itself, and say 'Wow, wow, woo-o-o!' I'm hear some man's on the schooner will see dose h'eighteen dawg and for some joke she'll whistle to dose dawg and she'll all go on the baie, and dose small boy, also; but dose dawg ain't call it some joke now. Eh bien, annyhow, we get all dose dawg on the schooner sometam'. I take some more petit verre de bier with Jacques. 'Good-by, mon ami,' I say to him pretty soon, 'that's lucky we save dose dawg, eh?'
"'Bout three, four clock that afternoon the captain she'll say it's tam' for schooner for sail. All the peop' of Alpeen' she'll stand on the dock and see dose dawg on the schooner. Long tam' I'm sailor man, me, and I'm know dose dawg she'll get bust down in dose hold where the lumber is, so I'm stay on the deck; and dose dawg she'll braid itself on the mainsail, and the fo'sail also. When the main boom come 'round she'll bust dose dawg on her head, and every one of it she'll sit up on its tail and say 'Woo, woo, woo-o-oh!' Me, I'm not sleep much.
"Bimeby the wind come up and blow strong. Some of dose dawg she'll get seaseeck, too, same like peop'. Me, I'm seeck too. When the schooner go up on the wave, and go down on the wave, some tam' dose dawg fall out on the lak'. I'm pull 'em back mos' all night. Dose rope, she's good thing.
"Bimeby dose schooner she'll come on Detraw'. The captain say, 'Ba gosh, I'm glad dose dawg walk on dock now.' Me, I'm glad also. But I'm not glad for long.
"I'm not know dose city, Detraw'. I'm ask policeman where Judge Gill' live, and dose policeman say go on the street-car on Judge Gill'. Ba gosh, he'll not tell that, if some tam' hisself he'll try put h'eighteen dawg on wan street-car.
"M'sieu', you'll be city man? You'll know dose street-car? You'll know she ain't stop for long. My faith, 'spose you go try put h'eighteen dawg on wan street-car—that's what dose schoolma'am call tres difficile. Seven, h'eight, she'll braid herself on the front wheel; seven, h'eight, on the doorstep; seven, h'eight, on the platform; seven, h'eight, she'll try get on behin'; seven, h'eight, she'll go on front. Dose conductors she'll be crazy, too, and say dose car is for lady. Me, I'm say where Buck go, dose dawg go also, like the sheep of Marie. Two, three lady, she'll smile on me and say dose plaintee fine dawg; bimeby so many fine lady—myself not yet know where Judge Gill' 'll live—I'm get out on dose car; and my dawg she'll got out too, all h'eighteen.
"'Bout dose tam' come along wan mans with two dawg, to take it on dose dawg show—two boule dawg. She's got blue ribbon on its neck, and dose mans she lead it both on fine string. I don't know, me, maybe dose boule dawg she's worth seven dollar' on dose dawg show. Dose boule dawg the both two she'll look on my h'eigteen dawg that's braid' on the lamp-post and tree both side dose street. My faith, gentlemen, you ought to see dose fight!"
"You ought to have been more careful, Buck," said Oldham, interested now. "Of course you got a lot of the dogs killed and crippled up."
"What, me? Dose dawg—dose h'eighteen dawg of the pack of Lac de Turt'? You mak' fun, M'sieu'! You'll not know dose dawg. She'll fight the lucivee, she'll fight the skonk, she'll fight anythings. Dose two boule dawg they come on dose h'eighteen dawg for to eat all dose dawg up, and dose pack of Lac de Turt' she'll unbraid itself off dose lamp-post and dose tree and in one minute, two minute, she'll eat up dose boule dawg the both two and dose blue ribbon also. Then those h'eighteen dawg, she'll lick its face, and she'll smile, and she'll put her tail on its back and she'll go on the street much what you call, complaisant then. 'Spose dose boule dawg she's worth seven dollar' I'm sorry for dose mans, for he ain't got no boule dawg now!
"That's all right, all right, I'm walk on the street plaintee tam'—two, three hour, on Detraw'. I go two block; maybe wan block. Dose dawg go on both two sides the street and the middle side also. There's plaintee tree on both sides dose street, and plaintee lamp-post also. Seven, h'eight dawg she'll braid itself 'round tree one side street some more; seven, h'eight, she'll go other side; seven, h'eight, she'll sit down and say 'Woo, woo, woo-oo!' Some wagon'll come on the street and she can't get by dose dawg. Three, four policemens come and pull dose dawg on the rope. All right, bimeby I'm go on up the street with all dose dawg, and all dose dawg run different way. Me, I dinno where is the house of Judge Gill'.
"I'll walk on the street five hour, seven hour, and I'll get plaintee hongree. Bimeby I'll come on what they'll call dose City Park. She'll have seven, h'eight, dose tame deers in dose park—deers that come eat the peanut on the fence. My dawg she'll walk along, whole h'eighieen plaintee tire' now. Her tail not up on its back now. She'll look down her face and put her tail between her face now, and she's plaintee hongree. But when we're come on dose City Park, where dose deers come and eat the peanut, all dose h'eighteen dawg she'll smell it, and she'll lift up her head and she'll say, all the same like here in the woods, 'Woo, woo, woo-o-o-oo!' Then she'll make for dose fence. Me? I'm hol' on to the rope. I'm pull through the fence three, four, different way. Dose dawg is the mos' bes' dawg in all the worl' for deers. 'Spose they get loose on the rope, she'll catch dose deers, sure. Ba gosh, all dose deers she'll jump the fence pretty soon and run on the city. I'm think seven, h'eight dose deers she'll climb the tree. Me, I'm inside dose h'eighteen dawg. Two, three more policemans come and ask me what is le diable Me, I'm say what le diable, also. 'Why you ain't told me where live dose Judge Gill'?' I'm say.
"I pound on my breas' on dose policemen. Me, I say on them, 'Behol' Jean Marie Guillaume LeClair! I come from Lac de Turt', and I bring dose h'eighteen dawg on Judge Gill', me!'
"When I say dose word to dose policemans she'll stand on one foot and she'll look on each other and she'll say, 'All right.' All dose policemans she'll know Judge Gil!', Eh bien, messieurs, you know our club she's made up of the mos' bes' peop' on all dose different city. Judge Gill', she's prominaw' in Detraw'.
"Dose policemans she'll show me two, three tam' which way I'll go on Judge Gill'. I'm plaintee tire' now, I'm willing for sell dose h'eighteen dawg for ten cent. But pretty soon I come on some beeg house.
"When I'm come on the gate by dose beeg house dose dawg she'll smell on the walk. Ba gosh, I think me, she'll know somethings! She'll smell on dose walk, on dose flower bed, on dose porch. She'll run up on dose porch, seven, h'eight on wan side; seven, h'eight on other side; seven, h'eight on walk; and me, I'll go too, on rope. Dose dawg she'll be gad. Bimeby, she'll lift up its head, all h'eighteen, and she'll say, 'Wow, wow, woo-o-o-o-ww!' I'm shame' of dose dawg. But I'm not know whose house this is.
"And then, M'sieu'—ah, what you mean by chloroform dose dawg? She's got the mos' bes' sense of any mans. She's got more sense than me, Buck. It's dose h'eighteen dawg I'll take on Detraw' that find me my wife, Julie!"
The chairman raised his eyebrows in query, but the bank president nodded assent.
"You know dose Julie gal that live on dose clear' 'bout six mile, where we put dose dawg on the deer bush?" resumed Buck. "All the tam', 'bout ten, eight year, I'm goin' ask Julie if she'll marry on me. But I'm get so busy here attend on my gentlemans I'll forget till the season close. Bimeby I'll go on the place where Julie live, but Julie, elle est vanie! She's gone. Where does she go? Her peop' say maybe on Detraw'. She'll get work on some house on Detraw'. She don't write on her peop'; they don't write on her. So Julie she lose itself, yaas; and me, I'm not marry on that gal!"
"Well, you're married to her now, aren't you?" asked the chairman of the Central Committee, reaching for another match. "Isn't the housekeeper's name Julie?"
"Don't hurry this story, Oldham!" The bank president raised his hand,
"Bâ oui, M'sieu'!" continued Buck. "I'm say that's all because dose dawg got more sense than any mans. I'll stand there on the porch, seven, h'eight dawg on wan post, seven, h'eight dawg on 'nother, and all dose dawg she'll holler. Just then, ba gosh, I'll look up, and voila Julie! Behol' dose gal I'm lost so long!
"Dose Julie she'll walk around the side walk on the corner of the house and look at me, Buck, and dose h'eighteen dawg! And dose Julie gal, she'll look what you call good to me. How do I know she'll live on the house of Judge Gill'? How do I know this is the house of Judge Gill'? I don' know. Dose dawg, she'll tell me! Dose dawg, she'll find me Julie; and also she'll find me Judge Gill', because of Julie!
"M'sieurs, on the club of the Lac de Turt' all dose members she'll fish good, she'll shoot good, she'll drink petit verre not too much, she'll ride good, and she'll admire la belle femme. Me, I'll get dose 'abit from dose gentlemans. Maintetnant, annyhow, dos Julie she'll look what you call good. Besides, I'll not know for more as two year where Julie she'll go. 'Mon Dieu, Julie!' I'm cry; and I'll make out the arm wide; and Julie—she'll be seeck, too, for Turt' Lak'—she'll put out his arm wide also. We'll fall on the neck, wan tam', two tam', and several plusieurs tam' also. Dose h'eighteen dawg she'll wrap itself 'round us, seven, eight wan side, seven, h'eight on both two side, and she'll stand look up, hees tail on its back. Hees eyes very fine, and she'll say on me, all h'eighteen, 'What I tol' you. Buck; what I tol' you, Julie? Ba gosh, here we be; us and Buck also!'
"Well, bimeby Julie she'll pull itself loose from my neck and she'll say, 'Va t'en! what you do at Judge Gill', his house?' Me, I'll say, 'I'm lose it dose gal Julie, and I'm take dose h'eighteen dawg to fin' dose gal Julie on the city Detraw'.' Me voila, Julie,' I'll say, 'and my h'eighteen dawg also! I search my Julie,' I'll say, 'all over end of dose earth, yaas!' I'll pound on my breas' some more. Then I'll kiss dose Julie some more, also. Julie, she'll take her apronne and wipe it on the mout' and say, 'Va t'en' but me, ba gosh, I'll think she'll like dose kiss all same.
"'Ma foi! Julie,' I'll say bimeby, 'if this is house of Judge Gill', 'spose you got anything for h'eat? Me, I'm hongree, one day, two day.' Julie she'll say, 'Come on kitchen, then.' I'll go on the kitchen. And now, ba gosh, what you think? Dose h'eighteen dawg she'll walk on a string, straight, wan dawg before the other! She'll not fight, she'll not run, she'll not go both sides the post, she won't run both sides the step. She'll put dose tail on its back and its face straight on the front, and she'll follow Julie like wan judge! Ba gosh, I'll not understan' that! Me, I'm have plaintee troub' with dose h'eighteen dawg; Julie, she'll have no troub' 'tall!
"She'll feed dose h'eighteen dawg, and bimeby dose h'eighteen dawg she'll go out on the grass and she'll curl up in a ring and she'll go fas' asleep. Yaas, all dose dawg she'll think it's home now. Why? Because of Julie! Dose dawg she's elect its president then.
"You'll go sell dawg like that on dose dawg show, M'sieu' Old'?" asked Buck. "My faith, you'll no can do that thing. Listen; ecoutez!
"Bimeby Judge Gill' he'll come borne on dose machine of benzine, dose autobominal! He'll come up the road on the house. Hell see dose h'eighteen dawg all sit on its tail on the grass and wag its head at him. I'll say to Judge Gill', 'Me voila, Judge Gill'; also behol' tous les chiens de Lac de Turt', dose whole h'eighteen! Here we'll be, Judge! I'll say to him.'
"'Yaas, damme!' say Judge Gill', 'and we'll sell every d—n one of them,' say he, 'What use dose blamed things to the club now when we can't run the deer? Here, you Tige!' he say, 'here Billy, you Bose—you Sounder, and here you, you lowdown yellow thing, Fanny, by gad! I'm glad to see you.' That's the way he'll talk bimeby. 'And you Ranger—be a good dawg, Dasher—and little Pete, that killed a lucivee; and Willy and Fly!'
"M'sieurs, naturel'ment, being one of my gentilhom' at Lac de Turt', Judge Gill' he know each of dose h'eighteen dawg by name hisself. All our gentilhom' they'll know by voice each wan of dose h'eighteen dawg every tam' in the wood. Of course Judge Gill' he'll know each dawg by her name, and all dose dawg she'll know its name too. So all dose h'eighteen dawg she'll set up on its tail and say 'Woo, woo, woo-o-o-oo!' 'We're glad for see you, Judge,' she'll say plain.
"Why don't Judge Gill' sole dose dawg? Ba gosh, he can't sole dose dawg because of Julie. Julie she'll go for cry. She's know dose dawg long tam', wan year, two year, and she's seeck for home in the wood. Judge Gill' he'll look on dose dawg, and he'll pull his handkerchief out his pant and he'll say, 'Me, I can't do it. D—n you. Buck, what'd you bring 'em down for?' Me, I'll put my hand on my eye, too. Julie, she'll put her apronne on her eye. Dose dawg, she'll say, 'Wow, wow, woo-oo-o-ooo!' We'll all cry. But we'll can't sole dose dawg, no, no.
"'Come on the house, Buck,' Judge Gill' he'll say to me bimeby. 'Julie, get him the supper. Get the supper for dose dawg also. I may sell my house yesterday, my wife also, but not dose dawg, ba gosh, no!' So Julie, she'll get the supper encore for me, encore for dose dawg, and I'll make the spark on Julie now for make up los' tam'.
"Bimeby, two, three day, Judge Gill' he'll say to me, 'Buck, I'm president of dose club, and I'm direct you take dose dawg back on the club.' Me, I'll tell Judge Gill' dose dawg was seeck for home, and Julie she's seeck for home, too. Me, I'm seeck for home. S'pose I'm make for marry dose Julie, and she keep the house on the club, and keep dose dawg also?'
"Judge Gill', he'll think for while and then he'll say, 'My faith, that's good thing. Buck! I'm seeck for home, also.' He'll make me marriè on Julie next day yesterday. Yesterday after that, Julie and myself, me and all dose h'eighteen dawg, and Judge Gill', we'll take the schooner back for Alpeen'.
"No, we got no troub' now. Now dose dawg she'll follow Julie in wan long string, on the street, on the street-car, on the dock, on the schooner, on the road for Alpeen'. She don't make the mix on the rope with dose tree or dose lamp-post no more. All dose dawg she'll put its tail on its back and walk easy and she'll be parfait gentilhom' and not fight. Why? Because of Julie!
"Judge Gill', he'll see dose dawg act like parfait gentilhom' and he'll say, 'Buck, I don't see no troub' on dose dawg.'
"'Ne moi non plus,' says I on him. 'Me neither also.' 'S'pose I got that Julie gal long, there'll not goin' to be no more troub', nowheres now.'
"Well, me, annyhow, and that Julie also, we come on the club bimeby; and Julie, she'll be the housekeep' on the club seven year, five year, long tam' all right, in dose h'archive maybe. You know, that year, Judge Gill' she'll be elect' president. He'll be president now—all the tam', 'cept Julie! Dose Julie, ba gosh, maybe so she's real president this club." Buck chuckled.
"And just can't she cook, Oldham!" said Williams. "I say, don't things taste just absolutely bully up here?" The chairman of the Central Committee nodded an emphatic assent.
Buck let down his chair to the floor. "And dose h'eighteen dawg," he concluded, "some of it'll get gray, like nos austres; s'pose not quite so much use now, eh, like us, eh? But it was once beaux temps of dose dawg, yaas, eh?"
"Me, I'm sit on what you call pat. When Julie lead dose dawg so easy, I'll not say much, but I'll think it plaintee. Ah, m'sieurs m'sieurs, dose Femme! Dose Femme! Dos H'woomans, she'll be the president on the club, also on the countree. I'll pound on the breas' and say, 'me, voila! I'm boss!' But dose dawg, she'll follow Julie! Good tam' here, eh? Why? Because of Julie! M'sieur, you h'order dose dawg h'outside, if you please. Me, I'm scare' for do it. Why? Because of Julie!"
This work was published before January 1, 1929, and is in the public domain worldwide because the author died at least 100 years ago.
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