# The Songs of a Sentimental Bloke/XI. Beef Tea

* Beef Tea
* HE never magged; she never said no word,
* But sat an' looked at me an' never stirred.
* I could 'a' bluffed it out if she 'ad been
* Fair narked, an' let me 'ave it wiv 'er tongue;
* But silence told me 'ow 'er 'eart wus wrung.
* Poor 'urt Doreen!
* Gawstruth! I'd sooner fight wiv fifty men
* Than git one look like that frum 'er agen!
* She never moved; she never spoke no word;
* That 'urt look in 'er eyes, like some scared bird:
* "'Ere is the man I loved," it seemed to say.
* "'E's mine, this crawlin' thing, an' I'm 'is wife;
* Tied up fer good; an' orl me joy in life
* Is chucked away!"
* If she 'ad bashed me I'd 'a' felt no 'urt!
* But 'ere she treats me like—like I was dirt.
* 'Ow is a man to guard agin that look?
* Fer other wimmin, when the'r blokes go crook,
* An' lobs 'ome wiv the wages uv a jag, ​They smashes things an' carries on a treat,
* An' 'owls an' scolds an' wakes the bloomin' street
* Wiv noisy mag.
* But 'er—she never speaks; she never stirs…
* I drops me bundle… An' the game is 'ers.
* Jist two months wed! Eight weeks uv married bliss
* Wiv my Doreen, an' now it's come to this!
* Wot wus I thinkin' uv? Gawd! I ain't fit
* To kiss the place 'er little feet 'as been!
* 'Er that I called me wife, me own Doreen!
* Fond dreams 'as flit;
* Love's done a bunk, an' joy is up the pole;
* An' shame an' sorrer's roostin' in me soul.
* 'Twus orl becors uv Ginger Mick—the cow!
* (I wish't I 'ad 'im 'ere to deal wiv now!
* I'd pass 'im one, I would! 'E ain't no man!)
* I meets 'im Choosdee ev'nin' up the town.
* "Wot O," 'e chips me. "Kin yeh keep one down?
* I sez I can.
* We 'as a couple; then meets three or four
* Flash coves I useter know, an' 'as some more.
* "'Ow are yeh on a little gamble, Kid?"
* Sez Ginger Mick. "Lars' night I'm on four quid.
* Come 'round an' try yer luck at Steeny's school." ​"No," sez me conscience. Then I thinks, "Why not?
* An' buy 'er presents if I wins a pot?"
* A blazin' fool
* I wus. Fer 'arf a mo' I 'as a fight;
* Then conscience skies the wipe… Sez I "Orright."
* Ten minutes later I wus back once more,
* Kip in me 'and, on Steeny Isaacs' floor,
* Me luck wus in an' I wus 'eadin' good.
* Yes, back agen amongst the same ole crew!
* An' orl the time down in me 'eart I knew
* I never should…
* Nex' thing I knows it's after two o'clock—
* Two in the mornin'! An' I've done me block!
* "Wot odds?" I thinks." I'm in fer it orright."
* An' so I stops an' gambles orl the night;
* An' bribes me conscience wiv the gilt I wins.
* But when I comes out in the cold, 'ard dawn
* I know I've crooled me pitch; me soul's in pawn.
* Me flamin' sins
* They 'its me in a 'eap right where I live;
* Fer I 'ave broke the solim vow I give.
* She never magged; she never said no word.
* An' when I speaks, it seems she never 'eard.
* I could 'a' sung a nim, I feels so gay! ​If she 'ad only roused I might 'a' smiled.
* She jist seems 'urt an' crushed; not even riled.
* I turns away,
* An' yanks me carkis out into the yard,
* Like some whipped pup; an' kicks meself reel 'ard.
* An' then, I sneaks to bed, an' feels dead crook.
* Fer golden quids I couldn't face that look—
* That trouble in the eyes uv my Doreen.
* Aw, strike! Wot made me go an' do this thing?
* I feel jist like a chewed up bit of string,
* An' rotten mean!
* Fer 'arf an hour I lies there feelin' cheap;
* An' then I s'pose, I must 'a' fell asleep.…
* "'Ere, Kid, drink this"… I wakes, an' lifts me 'ead,
* An' sees 'er standin' there beside the bed;
* A basin in 'er 'ands; an' in 'er eyes—
* (Eyes that wiv unshed tears is shinin' wet)—
* The sort o' look I never shall forget,
* Until I dies.
* "'Ere, Kid, drink this," she sez, an' smiles at me.
* I looks an' spare me days! It wus beef tea!
* ​Beef-tea! She treats me like a hinvaleed!
* Me! that 'as caused 'er lovin' 'eart to bleed.
* It 'urts me worse than maggin' fer a week!
* 'Er! 'oo 'ad right to turn dead sour on me,
* Fergives like that, an' feeds me wif beef-tea…
* I tries to speak;
* An' then—I ain't ashamed o' wot I did—
* I 'ides me face… an' blubbers like a kid.