# An emigrant's home letters/Letter Four

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LETTER FOUR.
London, December 20th, 1838.
My Dear Sister,
I delayed acknowledging the receipt of the parcel containing the papers, &c., till I had ascertained whether or not we could go out in the ship which sails on the 29th. I did not get a decisive answer till last Tuesday, when I was told that the list of the Roxburgh Castle was made up, and we could not go by her, there being eight or ten parties which she could not take besides us. The next ship which we may get a free passage by sails on the 26th March next year. I hope we shall go then. Not going now has sadly disheartened us both, but it may be for the best. In case I should ​not remind you again of it, all letters (whenever we go) should have time to reach, us two or three days before the ship goes, as we must be on board at least a day before she sails from Gravesend, which is about twenty-six miles from London.
I hope none of you are unhappy at the thought of my leaving you, or will think much about me when I am gone. However I may fare on the opposite side of the globe, I do not think it can much more darken my prospects of the future. It is hard for me to think that I have seen my dear father and mother, in all probability, for the last time, but the thought is brightened by the humiliating recollection that I have been more a burden than a help to them, and the hope that if we never meet again in this world of change, we shall in a happier and changeless one. Give my best love to them, and tell my brothers to love them, and be more dutiful to them than I have been, and give my love to my sisters, Maria and Eliza. I wish you all a very happy Christmas, though I shall not be with you on that day. I shall think of you all a thousand times in the solitude of our little room in the heart of London, and I hope to spend many a Christmas day with you, my brothers ​and sisters, though noue of us may be then young. Thank Maria for the trouble she has had in getting the signatures, and for all she had done for me. We should be happy to hear from James, and hope he had got into something likely to do him good. Clarinda wrote to her father this week, but did not enclose it in this parcel, as it seemed more desirable to save you trouble than him expense. We are both blessed with good health for this unhealthy place, except that Clarinda has an ugly cold, and I have been murdered with the toothache for two or three days; but neither of us is happy. I have nothing to do at present; hope I shall have after Christmas.
I send a small book, which contains a great deal of information on the subject of Emigration to Australia, and part of a journal of a voyage to Sydney; also 'Campbell's Poems,' among which are some beautiful 'Lines on the Departure of Emigrants to New South Wales.' Be pleased to take particular care of this volume, and return it in the course of a month; also a very interesting book entitled 'Carwell,' out of which you may pick a good deal of knowledge relative to New South Wales, but you must read it quick, and return it if you are sending a ​parcel next week, as it is a library book. The other book you will be pleased to return also.
If I can get a regular job after Christmas till we go I will send the money for my shoes by the time appointed.
We have sent a few trifling things for you as Xmas boxes. I wish we could have sent something better. For the present, farewell.
Yours, H. PARKES.