# A Desk Book on the Etiquette of Social Stationery/Chapter 6

WEDDINGS
THERE IS NO form of stationery so dear to the feminine heart as the wedding card.Wedding Cards It piques the interest of every woman, married or single, into whose hands it chances on its travels, and leaves a flutter of delightful expectancy in its wake. The wording, paper, style and engraving of the wedding invitation must be unquestionably correct, or the success of the wedding, from its social side, is marred.
The newest lettering embraces the shaded Caxton Lettering
the solid French script most pleasing in its clear, distinct character:
also a variation of this, the shaded French script:
intricate M and W into stronger outline:
Among the types which still retain their popularity are the shaded Old English shown here:
the plain Roman block letter:
the shaded Roman:
and the English Script:
The most approved card for the large church wedding is in shaded Caxton type. See the engraved example which accompanies this book. ​Who Invites YouWedding invitations are issued first in the name of the bride's parents, or in the name of the surviving parent. If the bride is orphaned, the name of a married brother and his wife may be used, a bachelor brother or a married sister and her husband. Failing these, the nearest relative or guardian.
The wording of a church wedding invitation requests the honour of your presence, the English spelling of honour being used.
The home wedding invitation requests the pleasure of your company.
The rank of officers in the regular army or navy above lieutenant is prefixed by full title on invitations. The prefix Mr. is used by lieutenant with rank following, thus: Mr. James Hudson Brown, Lieutenant Eleventh Regiment United States Infantry.
Reverend prefixes a clergyman's name.
The Guest's NameThe guest's name is written on both invitation and reception card, and should correctly be added on the church presentation card as well, but as this necessitates a vast amount of ​writing, it is often omitted. A few enterprising women, in some of the larger cities, have taken up the work of filling in the wedding cards and attend also to addressing, stamping and mailing at a nominal charge. This is sure to be an appreciated business.
Enclosed CardsThe church and reception cards are enclosed in a heavy matching envelope of white unglazed with the invitation, which is once folded in paper. The envelope is unsealed and bears simply the guest's name without address. A second envelope, addressed, sealed and stamped, carries the card to its destination.
"At Home" cards may be enclosed with the wedding invitation, but are not engraved upon it. The card does not show the name, but merely the new address and hour for receiving, as the bride has not taken her married name at the time the cards are sent.
An "At Home" card may be sent separately after the return of the couple, in which case it bears the name of both bride and bridegroom, thus:
​Actual Size 5⅜ x 3¼
Reception and "At Home" cards must not be confused. Both may be enclosed with the wedding invitation, but the first invites one to the reception immediately after the wedding, the second indicates the receiving day of the bride at her new home.
The Pew Number The addition of the pew number on church cards is a happy innovation, greatly simplifying the usher's duties in seating the guests. A plan and the seating capacity of the pews are carefully studied before the invitations are addressed, and the placing of each guest is ​dicated according to relation or intimacy. The late arrival is thus assured of a seat, and there is no occasion for uncomfortable crowding.
Addressing the CardsA wedding invitation is addressed to Mr. and Mrs. James Brown; another to The Misses Brown, includes the unmarried daughters. It is not necessary to send a card to each member of the household, nor is it correct to add the words and family to the parents' invitation, but a separate card must be sent to each son.
Invitations should be sent to the bridegroom's immediate family.
​The line is drawn between acquaintances and friends by the enclosing of the reception card to the latter.
AnsweringThe church wedding invitation needs no acknowledgment, not even a card. For the home wedding, where an answer is requested, it must follow the invitation wording exactly even to the detail of date and place, and be written in the third person, on the first page of a note sheet. It is addressed to the person who invites you, no matter if an entire stranger.
A card should be sent on the day of the wedding, if one cannot attend, or if the invitation includes the reception, at the hour of receiving.
Wedding GiftsWedding gifts are addressed to the bride in her maiden name, and should reach her before the day of the wedding. The sender's card is always enclosed.
Gifts are not so obligatory as heretofore, and are hardly sent unless the invitation includes a reception card. The bride must acknowledge all presents herself, writing a graceful, cordial note ​of a few lines, and neglecting no gift, however small, before she leaves. Should a gift be delayed, however, until the eleventh hour, or arrive after her departure, she may acknowledge it upon her return, and add a word of apology, showing it was impossible to thank the giver at once.
Marking and EngravingWedding silver is marked with the initials of the bride's maiden name, and occasionally, in cases of extreme intimacy, may combine the letters of the last name of bride and bridegroom.
Stationery GiftA charming gift to a bride and one sure to be appreciated, is a full set of monogramed paper, from tiny note to letter size; the die cut with the interlaced letters of her new name, and the engraving shown in her favorite color or simple gold.
The Wedding PlateA second suggestion is the converting of the copper plate from which the invitations are made, into a card tray. This can be arranged through one's stationer after the card order is completed. A narrow copper rim is added to ​the plate, and the little tray, bearing the simple wording, becomes a prized possession. It may also appear as a cigar tray, with match box and cigar holder added on the sides. This makes a charming token for the bridegroom.
The Home WeddingFor the quiet home wedding where only the family or closest friends are asked, the invitations may be verbal or written in the name of the bride's parents, or nearest relative. Immediately after the ceremony the marriage is announced by an engraved card to all relatives and friends who might have been included at a large wedding.
Announcement CardThe card takes the form shown on page 53.
Another form is shown on page 54.
It folds once in a matching envelope, and is addressed in a second envelope for mailing.
​The following is a form of announcement for the quiet home wedding, referred to on page 52:
Actual Size 4⅛ x 2½
When the wedding is the bride's second marriage, announcement card quite correctly omits the parents' name and appears thus:
For the silver or golden wedding reception, a card bearing the date of marriage and the present year, with the combined monogram of husband and wife, is charmingly attractive.
The engraving for the silver anniversary may show the entire lettering in silver, including monogram, date and wording.
The names of the couple with the wife's maiden name appear at the heading thus:
| John Hudson Brown | Mary Stewart Smith |
When Sent Wedding invitations should be issued from two to three weeks before the wedding, and include the bridegroom's relatives and friends, equally with those of the bride.
Recalling Cards If for any serious reason the marriage is postponed, the invitations are immediately ​recalled by a printed card which briefly states the reason, thus:
Owing to the sudden death of Mr. Charles Hudson's mother, Mr. and Mrs. Charles Hudson beg to recall the cards issued for their daughter's wedding.
Who pays for Wedding Cards The bridegroom never pays for the wedding cards. The bride's parents or family arrange the entire expense of the wedding, with the exception of the bride's flowers, the wedding ring and the minister's fee. At a large wedding where maids and ushers attend, the bridegroom provides gifts for the ushers, their gloves and ties, and arranges for the bridal carriage.
Crane's Kid Finish has been found to be the finest surface on which engraving can be done. As such it has long had the sanction of the most exclusive stationers for wedding papers for the most particular people.