# Memoirs of Vidocq, Volume III/Chapter 37

One night, half of which had been spent in the obscure lurking places of the Halle, hoping to fall in ​with some thieves who, in the overflow of that good-nature which two or three glasses of liquor, offered at a fitting time, produces, allow themselves to be pumped, as to their past doings, those now in hand, and these meditated,-I was retiring, very much discomposed at having, to the detriment of my stomach, swallowed from pure vexation a good number of small glasses of that diluted spirit to which vitriol gives the strength and flavour, when, at the corner of the Rue des Coutures Saint-Gervais, I saw several individuals squatted in the embrasures of the doors. By the light of the lamps, I easily distinguished beside them packets which they were endeavouring to squeeze into a smaller compass, but the suspicious whiteness of which could not fail to attract attention. Bundles at this hour of the night, and men who seek an obscure shelter, when no water was falling;—a prodigious portion of perspicuity was not wanting to find, in such a combination of circumstances, all the characteristics of a suspicious occurrence. I made up my mind that they were thieves, and the bundles the booty which they had just obtained. "Good," said I to myself, "let us evince no suspicions, but follow the procession when it sets forth, and if it passes by the corps de garde, catch is the word; on the other hand I will see them to their homes, take the address, and send the police after them." I thereupon made up my mind, without appearing to be troubled with what was behind me, but scarcely had I advanced ten paces when some one calls, "Jean Louis!" it was the voice of a man named Richelot, whom I had often met at the various thieves' haunts. I stopped naturally.
"Ah! good evening Richelot," said I, "what the devil are you doing here at this time of the morning? Are you alone? You look frightened."
"Well I may be, I have narrowly escaped being nabbed on the boulevard du Temple."
"Nabbed! and why?"
​"Why? here, come this way; do you see our friends with the bundles?"
"I am awake; you are loaded with swag," (plunder.)
I approached them; and the whole party instantly rising, as soon as they were on their feet I recognised Lapierre, Commery, Lenoir, and Dubuisson; they all four hastened to assure me how glad they were to see me, and to extend the hand of friendship to me.
Commery. "Ah! we narrowly escaped; my heart still thumps, put your hand upon it, feel how it goes tick-tack."
Vidocq. "That is nothing."
Lapierre. "Oh! we have had a fright in real earnest: I know very well that when I saw the greens, my heart jumped bang into my mouth."
Dubuisson. "And just above the market-place were the hirondelles de la Grève, (dragoons of Paris,) whom we met nose to nose on horseback just by la Gaité (the theatre.)
Vidocq. "What spoonies you are! you should have had a drag to whisk off the swag in. You are but greenhorns."
Richelot. "Greenhorns if you like; but we had no means of conveyance, and we have therefore chosen the back streets."
Vidocq. "And where are you now going? If I can assist you in any way ——"
Richelot. "If you will pilot us, and give us your company as far as the Rue Saint-Sebastien, where we are going to deposit the swag, you shall have your whack."
Vidocq. "With pleasure, my boys."
Richelot. "Well, then, go first, and spy if you twig any coves or beaks."
Richelot and his companions took up their bundles and I went forward. Our progress was fortunate and ​we reached the door of the house without interruption, each of us taking off our shoes to make no noise as we went up stairs. We reached the landing-place on the third story; they were awaiting us. A door opened softly, and we entered a vast chamber dimly lighted, of which the tenant was a shipwright's man, who had already been before the police. Although he did not know me, my presence seemed to trouble him, and whilst he was helping to conceal the bundles under the bed, I heard him ask a question in a low voice, which I could guess by the reply, which was spoken in a louder tone.
Richelot. "It is Jean-Louis, a good fellow; be quiet, he is staunch."
The Tenant. "That's all right; there are now-adays so many noses and sneaks, that we should be fly to every cove.
Lapierre. "Oh be easy! be easy! I can answer for him as for myself: he is a friend and a Frenchman."
The Tenant. "Since it is all right, I will trust him, and upon the strength of it we will have a shove in the mouth all round."
He got on a sort of stool, and lifting his hand up to the shelf of an old cupboard, he took out a full bladder.
"Here's the stuff, brandy and nothing but some of my own prigging. Come, Jean, you shall begin."
Vidocq. "With all my heart, (pouring forth into a green glass and drinking.) It is capital out and out tipple, which cheers as it goes down—now it is your turn, Lapierre; come, sluice your ivories."
The glass and bladder passed from hand to hand, and when each had drank enough we threw ourselves on the bed until the morning. At daybreak we heard in the streets the cry of the sweep, (in Paris we know that the savoyards are the cocks of the least frequented quarters.)
Richelot. (jogging his neighbour.) "Ah! Lapierre, we must go to the fence."
Lapierre. "Let me sleep, do."
Richelot. "Come, come, stir your stumps.
​Lapierre. "Go by yourself, or take Lenoir."
Richelot. "You had better come, as you have already dealt with the old woman, and can make a surer bargain."
Lapierre. "Let me alone, I am sleepy."
Vidocq. "My G—, what sluggards you are, I will go if you will tell me where."
Richelot. "You are right, Jean Louis, but the fence has never seen you and will not deal for the swag but with us. But if you like we will go together."
Vidocq. "Yes, we two, and then another time she will know my phiz."
We went. The fence lived in Rue de Bretagne, No. 14, in the house of a sausage-maker, who appeared the owner of it. Richelot entered, and asked if Madame Bras was at home. Yes, was the answer; and after having gone through the passage we went up the stairs to the three pair. Madame Bras had not gone out, but, actuated by a principle of honour, she would not take in any property by daylight. "At least," said Richelot to her, "if you cannot take the goods now, give us earnest; come, it is a good haul, and you know we deal all upon the square."
"You say very true, but I cannot allow myself to be compromised by a pair of good eyes; come in the evening, then all cats are grey." Richelot tried by every effort to extract some coin from her, but she was inexorable, and we retired without having obtained any thing. My companion cursed, swore, stormed, till it did one's heart good to hear him.
"Well," said I to him, "one would imagine that you had lost every thing. Why vex yourself? If she will not, another will; come with me to my fence, I am sure she will lend us four or five crowns."
We went to the Rue Neuve-Saint-François, where I had fixed my domicile. By a low whistle, I made Annette understand that I wanted her, and she quickly ​descended and came to us at the corner of the old Rue du Temple.
"Good day, Madame."
"Good day, Jean Louis."
"If you are inclined to be obliging, lend me twenty francs, and this evening you shall have them again."
"Yes, this evening! if you gain any thing you will go to la Courtille."
"No, I assure you I will be punctual."
"May I believe you? I will not refuse you then; come with me, whilst your friend waits for you at the cabaret at the corner of the Rue de l'Oseille."
On being alone with Annette I gave her the requisite instructions, and when I found that she clearly understood them, I rejoined Richelot in the cabaret; "Here," said I to him, showing the twenty francs, "is what you may call a mot, and nothing but a good one."
"Parbleu, wo'n't she post the blunt for the whole of the swag."
"I think not. She is only a fence for metal, tickers, and frippery."
"It is a pity, for she is an out and out mot, and just such a one as would suit us well."
After finishing our bottle, we set out to regain the lodging, where we found ready a Normandy goose of first-rate quality, and some other prog. I produced the money, and as it was intended for further supplies for the victualling office, our host went out for a dozen of wine and some bread. We were all so sharp-set that the provisions seemed only to appear and then vanish instantly. The bladder of brandy was drained to the last drop. Our meal terminated, it was proposed to open the packets. They contained most beautiful linen, sheets, shirts of extraordinary fineness, gowns with superbly worked borders, cravats, stockings, &c. all damp and wet. The thieves told me that they had taken the booty from one of the largest houses in the ​Rue de l'Echiquier, where they had introduced themselves by a window, of which they had broken the bars.
The inventory concluded, I proposed that we should make different lots, and not sell them all in the same place. I insinuated that they would give as much for each lot as for the whole in a lump, and that two sales were better than one. My comrades were of the same opinion, and made two divisions of the booty. It then became a matter of question as to how to get rid of them; they were sure of the sale of one lot, but wanted a purchaser for the second. A clothes-seller, called Pomme Rouge, in the Rue de la Juiverie, was the man whom I pointed out to them. He had long been pointed out to me as a regular fence,—goods taken in and no questions asked. Here was an opportunity of putting him to the test, and I was unwilling that it should escape, for if he were caught, the result of my plans was infinitely more agreeable; for instead of only one fence, I should cause the arrest of two, and thus I should kill three birds with one stone.
It was agreed that they should make an offer to my man, but nothing could be done till the darkey, and what was to keep us from ennui till then? What could we converse about? Amongst robbers the communion of martyrs has not mental resources sufficient to keep up conversation for more than a quarter of an hour. What can be done? prigs do nothing, unless at work, and when at work they do nothing. But yet it was necessary to kill time; we had still some money before us, wine was voted for by acclamation, and we again commenced our libations to Bacchus. The sons of Mercury drink fast and long, but yet one cannot always be drinking. If, indeed, topers were like the buckets of the Danaïdes, open at one end and with holes at the other, disgust would not proceed from plenitude! Unfortunately, each man has his capacity, and when, between the bladder and the brain, the wave, whose place of exit is too narrow, remounts towards its source, there is no need to say, my worthy friend, that if we ​would avoid unpleasant consequences we must stop: this our companions did. As they thought they had need of their head for some later period, and as a thick cloud already began to spread over the osseous vault which covers the potent ruler of all our actions, that they might not lose all guidance, they insensibly ceased to make a funnel of their mouths, and only opened them to talk. What was the nature of their conversation? The talk, which they would have been much posed to keep up on any other subject, turned on their comrades who were at the Bagne, or in prison. They also spoke about spies.
"Talking of spies," said the shipwright, "you must have heard of the celebrated rogue who has turned nose, that Vidocq; do any of you fellows know him?"
All together. (myself in chorus.) "Yes, yes, but only by name."
Dubuisson. "I know they talk a good deal about him. They say he comes from the Bagne, where he was sentenced for twenty-four years."
The Shipwright. "You are wrong, you flat. This Vidocq is a prig, who was sentenced for life for his many escapes. He was allowed to be set at liberty because he promised to blow the gaff, and that is the reason that he stops at Paris. He is a deep file; when he wants to trap a covey he tries to make friends with him, and, as soon as he has done that, he slips some swag into his cly and then all is done; or else he leads him on to some job that he may be caught at work. He it was who floored Bailli, Jacquet, and Martinet. Oh G—, yes it was he! let me tell you how he did them."
All together (myself in chorus.) "Did them, well said, my lad."
The Shipwright. "Whilst drinking together with another —— like himself, you know him, the rip Riboulet, Manon's fancy man."
All. "Manon la Blonde's?"
The Shipwright. "Yes, she. They were speaking ​of one thing and another, Vidocq says, as he had just left the Bagne, he wanted to find some friends to prig. The others are caught in the net. He tickled them so well, that he leads them to a spot of work, in the Rue Grand Zurleur. It was thought that he would blow the gaff to the police, and so he did. They were all taken, and in the mean time the rascal escapes with his comrade. This is his plan for catching good fellows. It was he who brought all the chauffeurs to be kissed by the headsman's daughter after having been their leader."
Every time the narrator paused we refreshed ourselves with a glass of wine. Lapierre, profiting by one of these pauses, spoke thus.
"What, is it that cock and bull story? He talks like a magpie. He is chaffing us. Do you think such gammon amuses us? I like to amuse myself."
The Shipwright. "What the deuce will you do, then? If we had any books, (cards,) we might handle them a bit."
Lapierre. "I'll tell you what we will do, act a play."
The Shipwright. "Go it then, M. Tarma (Talma.)"
Lapierre. "Do you think I can play by myself?"
Richelot. "We will help you, but what shall be the piece?"
Dubuisson. "The play of Cæsar; you know there is one of that name, who says, the first who was king had a happy lot."
Lapierre. "Oh, none of that blarney; let us play the piece of Vidocq caught, after having sold his brethren like Joseph."
I scarcely knew what to think of this singular business: however, without being at all disconcerted, I cried out suddenly, "I will play Vidocq; they say he is a stout chap, and it will suit me."
"You're stout," said Lenoir, "but he is much stouter."
"That is no matter," observed Lapierre, "Jean Louis is not a bad representation, he weighs his weight."
​"Come, then, we don't want so much jaw about it," said Richelot, lifting a table into one corner of the room. "You Jean Louis, and you Lapierre stand there; Lenoir, Dubuisson, and Etienne, (the shipwright) go to the other end: they shall be the friends, and I will seat myself on the bed and be the people."
"What people?" inquired Etienne, "Why the audience if you like. The shipwright is a booby."
"I am a spectator too."
"No, you stupid ass, I am. You are a friend, take your place, the play is going to begin."
We imagine ourselves in a public-house at la Courtille; each talks. I get up, and, under a pretext of asking for some tobacco, enter into conversation with the friends at the other table, I speak a little slang, they find me a downy cove, and give me a knowing look, which I return, and it is found we are all lads of the same profession. They follow the customary usages of society,—a glass more than necessary. I complain of being without a job of work. They complain, and we all complain together. We commence to be very full of mutual compassion and sympathy; I curse the beaks, they curse them too; I swear at the big wigs of my quarter who persecute me; my friends look at each other, consult each other's eyes, and deliberate upon the opportunity offered by, or the disadvantages of, my acquaintance. They take my hand, they press it, I consent; it is agreed that they may rely on me. Then comes the proposal—the character I play is that which, with but few variations, I always have played—I only alter a little, by putting the stolen goods into the pockets of my friends. Then was heard the unanimous applause, accompanied by shouts of laughter. "Well done, well done," cried the actors and the witness of this scene.
"Well done, certainly," said Richelot, "but see the sun is setting and it is time to tramp; the play can finish in the drag, or elsewhere, when we have done ​with the fence; I will go and gel a jarvey, if you fellows like?"
"Yes, yes, let us be off."
The drama was progressing well, we were approaching the climax, but it was doomed to be a very different one from that anticipated by these gentlemen, for the catastrophe was not in accordance with the title of the piece. We all got into a hackney-coach, and desired the coachman to stop at the corner of the Rue de Bretagne, and the Rue de Tourraine. Bras, one of the fences, was waiting at a short distance. Dubuisson Commery, and Lenoir alighted, taking with them the portion of the merchandise which we had agreed to sell. Whilst they were agreeing about the price, I saw, on looking from the window, that Annette had fulfilled my intention. Persons whom I saw, some with their noses in the air, as if seeking for some number, others walking about like idlers, were not in this quarter, I thought, without some motive.
After ten minutes of expectation, we were rejoined by our comrades who had been to Bras. They had brought away one hundred and twenty-five francs for things worth at least six times as much; but it was of no consequence, they were not sorry to realize what they were in haste to enjoy.
There remained those bundles which we had reserved for Pomme Rouge. On reaching Rue de la Juiverie, Richelot said to me, "Come, you must go and bargain, you know the downy fence
"That will not do," I replied, "I owe him money, and we have had a row about it."
I owed Pomme Rouge nothing, but we had seen each other, and he knew that I was Vidocq. It would, therefore, have been imprudent to show myself, and I left my friends to arrange these matters, and on their return, as the appearance of Annette in the vicinity of the shop gave me the certainty that the police was on the qui vive, I proposed to discharge the coach and go and ​sup in the cabaret of the Grand Casuel, on the Quai Pelletier, at the corner of the Rue Planche Mibray.
After the visit to Pomme Rouge we were richer by eighty francs, and the sum at our disposal was so considerable, that we might give way to some excess without fear of distressing ourselves, but we had no time to expend it, for scarcely had we got our glasses in hand when the guard entered, followed by a posse of inspectors. At the sight of the veterans and the spies all their countenances fell, and the general feeling was "we are caught." Thibault, the peace-officer, asked us for our papers, some had none, and others were not correct, mine were amongst these latter. "For the charge of all these sparks," said the peace-officer, "safe bind, safe find." We were tied two and two, and conducted to the commissary. Lapierre was coupled with me. "Have you good legs?" I said to him in a low tone. "Yes," was his reply, and when we reached the top of the Rue de la Tannerie, taking out a knife I had concealed up my sleeve, I cut the cord. "Courage, Lapierre, courage!" I cried. With a blow of my elbow I prostrated the veteran who had taken me by the arm; perhaps it was the very man who has since become food for Martin the bear; whether or not I darted away, and with a few leaps reached a small alley leading to the Seine. Lapierre followed me, and we reached the Quai des Ormes together.
They lost all traces of us, and I was very glad to have escaped without being recognised. Lapierre was equally rejoiced, for not having had any time for reflection, he was far from suspecting any sinister motives in me; but, in fact, if I favoured his escape, it was in the hope of introducing myself, under his auspices, into some other band of thieves. By fleeing with him I removed all suspicions that himself or his companions might have conceived, and kept up the good opinion which they had of me. In this way I hoped to make ​new discoveries, for as I was a secret agent I was desirous of acting as quietly as possible.
Lapierre was free, but I kept him in sight, and was ready to give him up the moment he was no longer useful to me.
We continued running towards the hospital, where at length we stopped, and entered a cabaret to recover breath and rest ourselves. I ordered a measure of wine to refresh us; "Here, lad," said I to Lapierre, "here is a comforter."
"Oh yes, it is hard work."
"And difficult to keep up, is it not?"
"Nothing can drive the idea from my mind ——."
"What?"
"Here, let us drink."
And no sooner had he emptied his glass than he became more pensive; "No, no," he repeated, "nothing can drive the idea from my mind."
"What do you mean? tell me."
"Well, then, I will tell you."
"You are right; but first you will do well to take off the stockings you have on your feet, and the cravat about your neck."
Lapierre was nearly in the same condition as the celebrated author of the Pied du Mouton, when, to descend in the garden of the Palais Royal, he had no other covering on his feet than the dress-stockings and white satin slippers of his mistress. As it seemed to me that I perceived in the eyes of my friend that dark scowl of mistrust which, if one does not take care, increases so rapidly, I was glad to testify one of those marks of interest, the effect of which is to reassure a suspicious mind: such was my aim in advising him to remove from his attire some articles of small value, which, during the overhauling of the booty, his associates and himself had immediately applied to their own use.
"What shall I do with them?" said Lapierre.
"Throw them into the river."
​"I'll not be such a fool! the silk stockings are quite new, and the cravat has never been hemmed."
"Silly nonsense."
"You want to laugh at me, my boy; throw away your own first."
I begged him to observe that I had nothing on that could compromise me. "You are like the hares," I added, "you lose your memory as you run; do you not remember that there was no cravat for me, and with trowsers like these (touching those I wore) would you have me wear women's stockings?"
He took off the stockings which, folding up, he enveloped in the cravat.
Thieves are at the same time misers and spend thrifts: he felt the necessity of removing these convicting articles out of sight, but his heart bled at the thoughts of not making a profit by them, it is because the produce of robbery is often so dearly paid for, that the sacrifice of it is always painful.
Lapierre was most anxious to sell his stockings and cravat, and we went together to the Rue de la Bûcherie to offer them to a shopkeeper, who gave us forty-five sous for them. Lapierre appeared to have made up his determination since the catastrophe of Grand Casuel; yet he was constrained in his manners, and if I am any judge of what was passing in his hind, in spite of my efforts to reestablish myself in his opinion, I was strongly suspected. Such feelings were not very favourable to my projects, and persuaded that henceforward I must not temporize, but being matters to a speedy termination, I said to Lapierre, "If you like we will go and sup at Place Maubert."
"I will, if you please," was the reply.
I took him to the Deux Frères, where I called for wine, pork chops, and cheese. At eleven o'clock we were still at table, every body had retired, and they brought us in a bill which came to four francs fifteen centimes. I immediately cried out, "My five-franc ​piece, my five-franc piece! where can it be?" I rummaged all my pockets and searched myself from head to feet. "My God! I must have lost it in running: look, Lapierre, if you have it?"
"No, I have only my forty-five sous, and not a dump besides."
"Look for it, I am going to try and arrange with the people." I offered the cabaretier two francs fifty centimes, promising to bring him the remainder on the morrow; but he would not listen to me. "Ah! you think," said he, "that you may come and have all you want here, and then pay me with monkey's allowance."
"But," I observed to him, "it is an accident which might happen to the most honest man."
"That's all my eye! When one is low in cash we are trickish or so; a cup of wine, or so, one would not mind, but it is no go to have a whole supper on tick."
"Oh, never mind, old lad; if it accommodates good fellows, never mind."
"Come, come, not so much jaw; pay me, or I'll fetch the guard."
"The guard! that for the guard and you too;" accompanying the words with a gesture of contempt much used by common people.
"Ah! you vagabond! is it not enough to carry off my property?" cried he, doubling his fist and thrusting it in my face. "Do not strike me," I replied to his apostrophe, "do not strike me, or ——"
He advanced towards me, and I instantly hit him a blow. A quarrel and uproar followed, which Lapierre thinking would come to serious consequences, judged it best to mizzle; but on the very moment when he was about to make off and leave me to extricate myself as best I might, the waiter seized him by the throat and cried out "thieves."
The guard-house was nigh, the soldiers came in, and, for the second time in that day, we were placed between two ranges of those candles of Maubeuge whose wicks ​have a smell of gunpowder. My comrade endeavoured to prove to the corporal that he was not in fault, but the veteran was immovable, and we were shut up in the guard-house. Lapierre became silent and sad as a brother of La Trappe, he did not even unclose his teeth. At length, about two o'clock in the morning, the commissary went his round, and asked to see the persons in confinement. Lapierre first appeared, and was told he might go if he would pay the bill. I was called in my turn, and on entering the room recognised M. Legoix. The recognition was mutual, and in two words I explained to him what I had done; I told him the place where the stockings and cravat had been sold, and whilst he hastened to seize on these articles, which were requisite to convict Lapierre, I returned to him. He was no longer silent.
"The bandage has fallen," said he, "I see what is done, it was all a plot."
"What! you are laughing at me, but I will speak frankly. Yes, it is done, and it is a plot, but it was you who got us into the trap."
"No, my friend, it was not me; I do not know who, but I suspect you more than any one else."
At these words I grew angry, he furious: to threats succeeded blows, and we proceeded to fight until we were separated. As soon as we were parted I found my five-franc piece; and as the cabaretier had not reckoned the thump I gave him, it was enough for me not only to satisfy all his demands, but also to offer to the corps de garde, I will not say the stirrup-cup, but that small drop of farewell token which the snob always pays willingly. This tribute paid, there was no further reasons for my detention, and I started off without paying my adieu to Lapierre, who was now known; and the next day I learnt that the most complete success had crowned my efforts. The two fences, Bras and Pomme Rouge, had been surprised in the midst of ample proofs of the nefarious traffic which they carried on; the robbers had been apprehended with the property ​which they had instantly applied to their use, and they were compelled to confess; Lapierre alone had tried denial of the facts, but, confronted with the shopkeeper of Rue de la Bûcherie, he was decidedly and positively recognised—the stockings and cravat were his accusers. The whole gang, robbers and receivers, were sent to La Force, in the expectation of judgment; there they soon learnt that the comrade who had played the part of "Vidocq caught," was, in fact, "Vidocq the catcher." Great was their surprise; how they must have commended the admirable talents of the comedian! The sentence confirmed, all were ordered to the Bagne. The evening before their departure I was present when they were fettered, and, on seeing me, they could not forbear smiling.
"Behold your work, you villain," said Lapierre, "you are content, no doubt."
"I have, at least, no reproach to make against myself, I did not advise you to steal. Did you not make up to me? Why be so confiding! When a man exercises a profession like yours, he ought to be more on his guard."
"It is all well," said Commery, "you are sure to be at the galleys again yourself."
"In the mean time a good journey to yourself. Keep my place for me" and if ever you return to Pantin (Paris) do not play at such dangerous games again."
After this reply they conversed together, and Richelot said, "Well, well! I owe him a turn."
"As for you," replied the shipwright, "you brought him amongst us. Since you knew him, you ought to have known that he was a nose."
"Ah, yes! it was Richelot who brought it upon us," sighed Pomme Rouge, who was being fettered, and nearly had his head broken by the hammer which was rivetting his collar.
"Do not move," said the smith roughly. "It was he, it was he," replied the fence, "who floored us, and but for him ——."
​"Stand steady, you fool, and mind your eye." These were the last words I heard, but as I went away I saw, by certain gestures, that the colloquy grew warmer. What are they saying? I know not.