# Lord Stranleigh, Philanthropist/Chapter 7

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CHAPTER VII.
THE NAPPING OF THE KID.
No man in England was held in such diverging estimation by the public as the Right Honourable Dennis Macgregor Wynn, Secretary of State for the Blue. He was of Irish, English, Welsh, and Scottish blood, and the result of this mixture somewhat bewildered the man in the street, who is a plain, straighforward chap, rather impatient with subtilty. The Right Honourable Mr. Wynn possessed the virtues of those four differing nationalities, and the people who recognised this regarded him as a demi-god. He was also endowed with the defects of this nationalistic quartette, and those who appreciated that side of him called him a demagogue. Of one thing everyone was convinced, namely, that he was a very astute politician; an Englishman in England, a Scotchman in Scotland, a Welshman in Wales, and an Irishman in Ireland, ​as you will learn by perusing his speeches in those divisions of the British Isles.
He was supposed to rule the Cabinet much more effectively than the Premier, or, indeed, any other member of it, half the nation earnestly believing he was luring it down to destruction; the other half that he was heading straight for Elysium. It was generally agreed that he never spared himself, but worked like a demon, and, if he believed everything he said in his eloquent and popular addresses, his opinions must have been as varied and tumultuous as his blood.
The more militant section of his audiences listening to his eloquence on the brotherhood of man, were filled with distrust, believing him to be indifferent regarding the defence of his country. Everyone was prepared to welcome brotherhood, but many of them thought that the Big Stick should be within reach, in case brotherhood happened to slip a cog.
One hot afternoon in late July the Right Honourable Mr. Wynn was hard at work in his official Downing Street room, entirely alone. There were some knotty points of Government to settle, and for once the Minister desired peace and quietness. He had dismissed all his underlings and had abandoned successively coat, waistcoat, necktie and ​collar. Thus he sat at his work, absorbed in thought and calculation.
There came a gentle knock at the door, and with a frown of impatience the Minister called:—
"Come in!"
The outside guard entered, a card in his hand.
"Oh, I say, Sims," cried the Minister, "it's impossible for me to see anyone just now!"
"Very good, sir," replied the man, turning away, but on reflection Wynn said sharply—
"Who is it?"
"Lord Stranleigh of Wychwood, sir."
"Oh! Wait a moment."
The piercing eyes of the Minister seemed to look through the attendant, and gradually a gentle smile curved the corners of his mouth.
"Lord Stranleigh!" he muttered, and then:—"Oh, well, Sims, bring him in!"
There entered the most admirably groomed young man the Right Honourable had ever seen, and the Minister's first wonder was how he could look so cool, coming from the outer furnace of London in hot July. The silk hat he held in his hand was as glossy as the coat of a thoroughbred. Not a hair of his smoothly-brushed head was out of place. No crease was visible in his clothes, and ​actually the very white linen collar seemed as stiff as if made of steel. The Right Honourable could not help glancing at his own neckwear, lying abandoned, limp, and visibly soiled, on a chair.
The Minister rose, shirt open at the neck, his abundant hair wildly touzled, moustache unkempt, and laughed. Lord Stranleigh smiled in sympathy.
"It is very good of you to receive me on such a hot day. It's beastly warm outside."
"I can testify to that, but I must say you don't look it."
The Minister shook hands cordially with his visitor.
"I think I've never had the pleasure of meeting you before, Lord Stranleigh."
"No, that pleasure was denied you by your own followers. I called upon you in a rather rough town up north. You were to address the virtuous working man that night. It was during the heat of last election, much higher in temperature than to-day, even."
"Ah, yes. I remember. I was very sorry indeed to hear you had been ill-treated."
"'Ill-treated' is putting it mildly. I was slugged. However, that did not matter so much as the fact that I was not allowed to have speech with you. ​I carried in a little brown bag one million pounds in Bank of England notes."
The Minister's face grew serious.
"What became of them?" he asked.
"They are back in their birthplace. It seems that even when insensible I clung to the bag with the tenacity of my caste, or perhaps you would say like Judas, who also carried a bag, though not so well-filled, I fancy."
At first the right honourable gentleman smiled, then his face became grave, and indeed, menacing.
"For whom was that money intended, my lord?" he asked.
"I hoped to place it in your hands," replied Stranleigh.
The other did not speak for a few minutes, then he said slowly:—
"You mentioned your caste a moment ago. It is true that I hold it in scant respect, but I never went so far as supposing it foolish enough to believe I could be bribed into abandoning the course I have marked out for myself."
Lord Stranleigh blushed a delicate pink, and his embarrassment interfered with his utterance. He almost stuttered.
"You m-mustn't think that because I am a ​good deal of a fool other men of rank in England resemble me. Within my caste, as we seem agreed to call it, there are many whom I respect and admire; yes, and envy for their gifts in statesmanship. I do not sympathise with their opinions. I disbelieve in a hereditary house, and wish to see legislation by the Lords abolished. The money I hoped to donate was not intended for you personally, but to promote, in legitimate manner, of course, the reform we both have at heart."
The Right Honourable's alert mind gleamed from his eyes as he gazed across the table in amazement at his visitor. Could it be possible that his party, clutching everywhere for money to carry on a desperate warfare, had actually sandbagged the man who would have endowed it with a fortune so tremendous; a fortune which would have changed the feebly encroaching tide into an overwhelming flood?
"Do you mean to say," he cried, "that you are actually a Radical?"
Again Lord Stranleigh stammered.
"I-I-I don't exactly know how to label myself. I have always been rather mixed so far as opinions are concerned. For instance, although my views and yours coincide regarding the House of Lords, ​I find myself at variance with you touching the defences of our country. I should call myself, perhaps, a Torified Socialist."
"Oh, the defences of our country are all right!"
"I have practically proven that they are not."
"You refer to the coastguard question, and what you have proved is merely that you do not understand it. With the rise of wireless telegraphy, and the tremendous increase of speed both on sea and land, coastguards are now as picturesque and antiquated as bows and arrows. No one appreciates more than I do the stalwart, manly, efficient coastguardsman, and there is enough of the Celt in me to be touched by the thought that while we sleep, this splendid body of men marches to and fro along the ramparts of England, never out of sound of the sea. To north, south, east and west of us, these vigilant sentries are on guard, watching the darkened waters, but it is all simply an æsthetic fancy. The stolid policeman on his beat is a useful functionary. The coastguardman on his is obsolete."
"I am not so sure of that, sir. I visited the wireless telegraphic station on Brow Head a short time since, and what was shown me there impressed me very much. Particularly was I struck with its Chamber of Death, the key to whose door is never ​out of the possession of the man in charge. If the lever across the doorway is not properly adjusted, and a man enters, his life flashes from him like the flame from a blown candle. Yet as I stood on that wild headland, I realised that so great has been the advance in modern gunnery that a warship, quite out of sight over the horizon, could smite the station into ruins with a single shell."
The Minister looked at him with a quizzical smile, his eyes twinkling.
"Any Irish blood in your veins, Lord Stranleigh?"
"Oh, yes! My grandmother——" here his lordship paused. It was quite alien to make any boast of his ancestry, and the young man was proud of his grandmother.
"I thought so," commented Wynn. "I had an Irish grandmother, too. To return, however, to our muttons——"
"That's Welsh," said Stranleigh.
"Yes, Welsh and good. No sheep like them, you know. As I intended to remark, all you say about the destruction of wireless stations holds good of the coastguards. A well-aimed shell would knock one of them out of business quite as effectually as it would an electrical installation."
​"That is true, sir, but the wireless locations are few, while the coastguard depôts are many. You took a retrograde step in abolishing the coastguards, whereas you should have taken a forward step by supplying all the coastguards with wireless apparatus."
"That was proposed, my lord, but fortunately overruled."
"Why fortunately?"
"Because this dream of invasion is a mere nightmare; the effect of ignorant imagination. No foreign country would be so foolhardy as to land men on this island; they'd never get them off again. Invasion is impossible."
"It has been accomplished in the past, nevertheless."
"In the past! Pouf! Remember our advance in science and speed of communication."
"Other nations have advanced as far as we; some of them further. America excels us in invention, and Germany in execution."
The Right Honourable Dennis Macgregor Wynn leaned back in his chair, and drew a handkerchief across his brow.
"It is really too warm, Stranleigh, to discuss a policy so momentous. Besides, we should never ​agree. In any case, I should prefer a cooler debating ground."
Stranleigh rose.
"I am much obliged for your kind reception of me. I realise that I am but an idler, while you are a very busy man."
"A working man, merely. It is the title I am proudest of holding. But you are quite mistaken in thinking my remark was a hint for you to go. Even my enemies admit that I am a plain-spoken person, and if I had wished your departure, I should have said so. There is one subject on which I should like further information. I heard vaguely in the spring that you made some experiments on one of your estates touching the welfare of the unemployed. I should like to know more about that."
"I am sorry to say, sir, it was a complete failure."
"Ah! Were you your own manager?"
"No, I was one of the unemployed. I engaged a very faithful, sympathetic, well-intentioned man as head of the scheme, and quite unknown to him, I accepted a spade and did my share of the digging, I wished to learn what the derelicts thought, from the inside, as it were."
"And what did they think?"
​"They don't think."
The Minister laughed.
"You are pessimistic, I see, but we must talk further about your project and the cause of its failure. It seems to me that in the hands of the right man it should succeed, that is, premising the scheme were sound. Now, in a couple of weeks I shall take up residence by the sea, in Walmer Castle, which has been very kindly placed at my disposal during the hot weather by my friend, the Warden of the Cinque Ports. I shall have with me some of the minor members of the Government, who are quite interesting, although they hold subordinate positions. I should be delighted if you would spend a week-end with me, when we could thresh out these important matters."
"Walmer Castle," mused Stranleigh. "That's near Deal, isn't it?"
"Within half a mile of Deal and golf."
"Well, I'll visit you if I can, and many thanks for the invitation. I hope the spirit of the ancient stronghold will act upon that Celtic temperament of yours."
"What do you mean?"
"Why, in Walmer Castle the great of England have resided. The Duke of Wellington died there, ​not in luxury, but in a small, bare room, with a mattress and a coverlet on an iron camp bedstead. In a chamber eight feet broad, Premier Pitt and Lord Nelson planned the amazing naval operations that followed. On the lawn grows a willow transplanted from Napoleon's grave. Oh, you'll be surrounded by military memories at Walmer! Yes, I shall call on you there, even though you will have dungeons at your disposal. Before taking my leave, too long delayed, am I to understand that my intended object-lesson with the coastguard stations has made no impression on your mind?"
"None in the least, Lord Stranleigh, except to recall the adage about parting with money."
The Minister's smile eliminated the sting from his reference, and Lord Stranleigh smiled in sympathy.
"I came to-day to place myself at your disposal in case you considered I had infringed the law."
"There are many laws that ought to be infringed, my lord, but the present Government hopes to repeal them, and put something newer and more helpful to humanity in their stead. No, Stranleigh, I'm sorry to disappoint your efforts towards economy, but you'll receive no help from me to board and lodging at His Majesty's expense."
​"I see. Now, listen to my final words, Mr. Wynn. Before the summer is past I shall endeavour to prove that you are wrong in a number of the statements you have made. In doing so, I shall try to inflict upon England a humiliation greater than she has ever suffered in her most disastrous war, and so I bid you good-bye, sir, with a renewal of my gratitude for your kind reception."
"Great heavens, wait a bit, wait a bit! I want further particulars. What do you propose to do? Dynamite the Houses of Parliament?"
"Wait and see," replied Stranleigh, as with a laugh he let himself out into the lobby.
A fortnight later, the Right Honourable Dennis Macgregor Wynn was at liberty to work in a cooler spot than the narrow thoroughfare of Downing Street. He had taken an afternoon train from London, and in a little over two hours was wandering round the grounds of Walmer Castle, by the sea. It would have been difficult to imagine a more ideal place for the purposes Mr. Wynn had in mind. The Castle was quiet and secluded, situated amidst ample private grounds, and thus free from intrusion. To the front of it lay the broad blue Channel, and to the south-east the sinister Goodwin Sands, which in their time had swallowed up many a ​goodly merchant ship, and many a stalwart man-of-war; thus in a way an object-lesson constantly before the eyes of England's shrewdest politician. No one knew better than Wynn the political quicksands that surrounded him. He could afford to make no mistakes; he must overcome Great Britain's latent distrust, which permeated even into his own party. To make his position more sure, he had determined on a series of secret summer conferences, at which he was resolved to say little, but to learn much. He had invited colleagues on whom he could depend, and others of whom he was not certain. On no occasion would any of these meetings assume the seriousness pertaining to a Council of State. Guests were invited in batches of not less than four or more than ten. The length of their stay was definitely fixed, and the reason for the visit was always that everyone needed now and then a sniff of the salt sea.
In the earlier part of the year Wynn had been in a quandary regarding this series of gatherings. His own summer residence was situated on the east coast of Scotland, and was merely a very commonplace marine villa, without either the room or the servants to take care of more than one or two guests at a time. Another objection was the ​distance from London and the expense of the journey.
Those whom Wynn wished to meet were in the main poor men, and the question even of railway fare was to many of them a serious one. It was at once an odd and an encouraging thing that people who helped to guide the destinies of a great Empire and one of the richest on earth, had yet to be so economical that the price of a third-class railway ticket from one end of the island to the other was a matter for consideration.
At this point Wynn's friend, the Warden of the Cinque Ports, placed at the Minister's disposal the official Castle of these five harbours, a retreat as secluded as any stronghold in the Highlands, and yet but two hours from London.
During the first few moments of his inspection of this sumptuous residence and its noble park, Wynn could not help feeling exultant that he, born in poverty, in a humble cottage, should in so short a time have risen to such a position that he was owner pro tem., of this historic palace, with numerous servants at his disposal, and yet this thought brought with it a disturbing element. Wynn was still a poor man, although in the enjoyment of a salary that a few years ago would have seemed to him wealth.
​There are some invitations in England that a poor man dare not accept, no matter how cordially they are given by his would-be host. He cannot accept an invitation to shoot, for the head-keeper will look with disdain at a tip of any amount less than five pounds, and there are a host of others, outdoors and in, who must be solaced with gold. However generous the host may be, he cannot save his guests from these exactions. The traditions of ages are against him. King George decrees that none of his servants showing visitors through Windsor Castle shall receive a tip, yet they receive it, despite the King-Emperor's command.
With a constant influx of guests at Walmer Castle the tips expected would be numerous and heavy. Wynn had some notion of attempting a compromise with the head servant, but he knew it would be infra dig. to do this; something not to be ventured by a man in his position, despite his own fixed opinion that the whole system was degrading both to giver and taker. On more than one occasion the Minister had found some pet project come to nought because it ran counter to an ancient custom or prejudice, and although he despised these relics of feudalism, he could not but respect their silent, invisible force of obstruction.
​But in the present instance the wind was to be tempered to the shorn lamb, and strangely enough, the amelioration came to him from the head servant at Walmer. Alert as Wynn undoubtedly was, he never suspected that here was an instance of the power of money exerted so as to overcome an old servant's reluctance to do anything out of the ordinary.
The ancient underling who accompanied the Minister in his peregrinations through the estate, pointing out this and that of interest, approached his mission with humble diffidence, and was forced to brace himself up with the memory of gold already received and the anticipation of much larger sums still to come, the total of which would render him financially independent for the rest of his life.
"Have you ever dined, sir, at the Imperial Grand Hotel in London?"
This hostelry was one of the newest and most luxurious with which the metropolis had been endowed. The Minister smiled.
"It's not a hotel I usually patronise; still, I have been there on one or two occasions."
"Perhaps you did not notice the head-waiter?"
"I take note of most things I see, and if you are referring to Heinrich, he is one not to be ​overlooked; a world-celebrated man, in fact. Have you seen him?"
"Yes, sir, he was here last week."
"Really! A magnificent-looking man with a splendid golden beard."
"Yes, sir, that is the person."
"What was he doing at Walmer, and how did they get on without him at the Imperial Grand?"
"Oh, he has left that hotel, sir. He has made his fortune, and purchased a hotel for himself on Lake Lucerne."
"Why, Heinrich is getting on in the world. Did he wish you to join him in the Swiss enterprise?"
"Well, so to speak, sir, he did, without any risk on my part."
And are you going?"
"Yes, sir, it's too good an offer to refuse. I have sent in my resignation to the Warden, but he wants me to stay on while your parties are here."
"I'm sorry if I interfere with your advancement, but perhaps Heinrich does not take over the Swiss hotel at once."
"He has taken it over already, and some foreign friends of his are in charge, but most of the customers are English, and he wished me there to see to them."
"So far as I am concerned, I shall not stand in ​your way, if the Warden desires you to remain only until I have gone. If you provide an efficient substitute, you have my consent to leave as soon as you install him."
"That is just the point I was coming to, sir. You see, Heinrich knew nothing of me, but he read in the London papers that you were to be here for some weeks. Now, as he wishes English custom for his Swiss hotel, being, as you remarked, so well-known, he hoped to see you, and make arrangements to look after the catering here while you are in residence."
"Oh, bless my soul!" cried the Minister with a laugh. "I could never rise to anything so magnificent as Heinrich, nor so expensive."
"It was that very thing he was speaking of. The papers said that many celebrated persons would be guests of yours, and Heinrich offered, if the catering was put into his charge, to please you and the most particular of your guests, doing it all for half the amount I have been in the habit of spending, as you can see by my accounts. He would accept no salary himself, and allow no tips to be given or received."
"I'm afraid I could not permit such self-sacrifice on his part."
​"'Twould be the making of him, he said, if next year he might announce with truth that he had catered in England for you and the other distinguished people."
"Oh, I see! A little advertising plan on Heinrich's part. Would he expect me to write anything on the subject, and sign the same?"
"No, sir. Nothing further than what you are in the habit of writing about any servant who has given you satisfaction."
"He would understand, I suppose, that he could dismiss none of the help at present employed here?"
"Of course, sir, but he wished to bring with him a few cooks and assistants."
"Yes, Heinrich would need a chef or two. Well, I am quite agreeable, but this is a matter which rests between your master and yourself. If you write to him, and show me a letter from him agreeing, I will give my consent."
Everything passed off according to the old servant's desire, and Heinrich being duly installed, more than made good his promises. The Right Honourable Mr. Wynn found himself relieved of all hospitable anxiety. Every wish of host and guests seemed to be anticipated, and Heinrich's genius for organisation was so complete that the duties ​of the household went on as noiselessly and efficiently as the works of a well-oiled watch.
The days began to draw in, and, on the last night of Wynn's occupancy, the electric lights were burning all through the dinner hour. That afternoon Heinrich asked the Minister for any line of commendation that he cared to give, and the maître d'hôtel received a written eulogy in Mr. Wynn's well-known hand, which may be seen to-day, sumptuously framed, in the chief public room of Heinrich's hotel on Lake Lucerne.
Including the host, seven sat down to dinner that night, and a very hilarious meal they made of it. At the end Heinrich, with great respect, asked if he might prepare a little tableau for them, and on obtaining enthusiastic permission, he retired, leaving them to their coffee and liqueurs. Suddenly the electric light went out, plunging the dining-room into pitch darkness. Then, amidst great laughter, an invisible finger seemed to write on the wall, after the fashion of those electric signs so familiar to us all.
"Hello!" cried one. "Belshazzar up-to-date!"
"TO BE OPULENT AND UNARMED IS TO SECURE EASE IN THE PRESENT AT THE ALMOST CERTAIN COST OF DISASTER IN THE FUTURE."
​There was a pause, and then, in admirable imitation of the statesman's chirography, in letters of white fire, appeared the word—
"ROOSEVELT."
Applause rang out loud and long. The handwriting on the wall disappeared, leaving the room once more in darkness, then the regular lights were switched on. With his back to the door furthest from the Minister stood Heinrich in new splendour, arrayed in the uniform of a captain of Bavarian Guards. Along each side of the table stood like statues a dozen men, also in foreign regimentals. The butt ends of their rifles rested on the floor; the glow of electric lamps shone like summer lightning on their well-polished bayonets.
"Gentlemen," said Heinrich quietly, "you are my prisoners."
The diners looked at one another, and at their host, who sat impassive at the head of the table.
"Heinrich!" he said.
"Captain, sir, if you please."
"Very well, captain. We are quite pleased with your tableau. You may now withdraw, and take your men with you."
So accustomed was the captain to obedience, and to the carrying-out of orders, that his first motion ​was towards compliance, then military discipline asserted itself. He spoke with decision.
"Just as you sat down to dinner the Earl of Stranleigh's yacht arrived outside, as near as possible to the shore. During the meal she landed, in her three boats, these twenty-four men, who entered this Castle unobserved. You will credit that, knowing my talent for organisation. All the English servants about the place have leave of absence for to-night, and are enjoying themselves at Deal, where a performance of 'An Englishman's Home' is being given. I presented each of them with a ticket."
"Burke, the telephone!" whispered the Right Honourable. "Police!"
Burke sprang to his feet, and instantly three bayonets fell to the level of his breast, whereat he paused.
"Sit down, Mr. Burke," said the captain. "All this is foolishness. There are but two courses open to you. Either you go quietly with us to Earl Stranleigh's yacht, like gentlemen, and if there is any quarrel about our action, settle it with your countryman, his lordship; or make a futile resistance and go to the yacht trussed like so many fowls sent into the kitchen of the Imperial Grand Hotel. Choose!"
​The Right Honourable arose.
"Such a choice, Captain Heinrich, does not take long to make. We will go with you quietly if you allow me to get certain of my belongings from my room."
Heinrich bowed with dignity.
"Everything belonging to you, sir, and to these six gentlemen, is already on board the yacht."
"The deuce you say!" replied Wynn. "You are an admirable servant, Heinrich."
"Thank you, sir. I hope to prove so when my country is my master."
He marshalled them down to the beach, where three boats awaited them. It was arranged that the seven prisoners should go to the yacht on the first trip of the boats, with sufficient guard in each craft, whilst Heinrich and the remainder of his men were taken on the second journey. Wynn and his secretary. Burke, sat together in silence; then the younger man spoke.
"We'll make Stranleigh sweat for this, were he a thousand times an earl!"
"Alas!" cried Wynn, "that is the grinding part of it. We daren't open our mouths. Ridicule kills, in England as elsewhere. We dare not make ourselves the laughing-stock of the Empire."
​As the strenuous section of the Cabinet came up the ship's water-stairway, Lord Stranleigh received them on deck with great cordiality.
"I am delightcd to meet you again, Mr. Wynn. Wc can now in comfort finish our discussion on Governmental affairs. I believe that England never before suffered the humiliation in any war of having a portion of her Government captured. But I assure you that your detention may be as long or as short as you choose it to be. To-morrow's London papers will announce that the Right Honourable Dennis Macgregor Wynn and his party, having concluded their visit to Walmer Castle, accepted the invitation of the Earl of Stranleigh for a brief voyage along the coast, in his yacht. As this yacht is fitted with a powerful installation of wireless telegraphy, Lord Stranleigh has secured a special Government operator in addition to the one he always carries, and thus the members of the Cabinet aboard will be in constant touch with Downing Street.
"And now, Mr. Wynn, you are at liberty to telegraph anything you like to anybody; there is no censorship on my yacht. I am compelled to make a run to Hamburg, to put ashore the picturesque Bavarians who accompanied you hither. After that 1 shall steer direct for London, or any other port ​you name, or if you will consent to be my guests, I should be delighted to give you a run completely round the island.
"Gentlemen, cooling and refreshing drinks are set out on the table in the music-room, or you may order what you like here on deck. See how beautiful the lights of Deal look as we pass them, like a string of pearls."
"I didn't notice we had got under way," said the Minister, "but I see now either Deal is going west, or we are moving east."
"We've twin-screw turbines, you know. Wait till we develop full speed."
"I will," replied the Minister, with a sigh.