# Book of Etiquette/Volume 2/Part 3/Chapter 3

CHAPTER III
LUNCHEONS
PURPOSE OF THE LUNCHEON
In England, and especially in London, the luncheon is held in quite as high esteem as our most formal dinners. For it is at the luncheon, in England, that distinguished men and women meet to discuss the important topics of the moment and exchange opinions. It is indeed easy to understand why this would be a delightful meal, for there is none of the restraint and formality of the late dinner.
But in America, perhaps because most all of our gentlemen are at business "down-town" during the day, perhaps because we disdain to ape England's customs, the luncheon has not yet reached the point where it rivals the formal dinner. And yet it holds rather an important place all its own.
The "place" is distinctly feminine. The ladies of America have taken the luncheon in hand and developed it into a splendid midday entertainment and means of hospitality. The gentlemen are of course welcome; but they are rarely present. It is usually among themselves that the ladies celebrate the ceremony of the luncheon—both formal and informal—and that it has survived, and is tending to become permanently popular, is sufficient proof of its success. It is often preceded or followed by cards or other simple entertainment.
INFORMAL LUNCHEONS
Invitations may be sent only a few days before the day set for the luncheon, and are usually written in the first person instead of the third which is the convention for more elaborate functions. The hour of luncheon is stated, but need not be as rigidly followed as the dinner hour. If guests are reasonably late they may be excused, but the late dinner guest is correctly considered discourteous. Lord Houghton, famous in England's social history, used to word his invitations simply "Come and lunch with me to-morrow" or "Will you lunch with me Tuesday?" He rarely mentioned the hour. Incidentally, Lord Houghton's unceremonious luncheons earned for him widespread comment, and they had much to do with the ultimate popularity of the informal luncheon in England.
The informal luncheon lost none of its easy congeniality in traveling across the ocean. There is a certain friendliness that distinguishes this meal from all others. Sometimes, in fact, the hostess dispenses with the ceremony of service altogether, and her guests help themselves from the buffet or side-table. If such is the case, the luncheon consists of cold meats, ham, tongue, roast beef, etc.; salads, wine jellies, fruits, cakes, bonbons and coffee. The most usual way, however, is to serve a more substantial luncheon, retaining just that degree of dinner formality that is so gratifying to the social sense.
ABOUT THE TABLE
Often the informal luncheon is served on the bare table, making use of numerous lace or linen doilies instead of ​the usual table-cloth. (This does not hold true of the formal luncheon and may not be true even of the informal one.)
The menu must be appropriate to the season. Tea or coffee are never served in the drawing-room after the informal luncheon. If at all, they are served right at the table at the conclusion of the meal.
The informal luncheon guest never remains long after the luncheon unless the hostess has provided special amusement. If the luncheon lasts an hour the guests may sit around and chat with the hostess for about a half hour; but they must remember that she may have after-noon engagements, and it would be exceedingly inconsiderate and rude on their part to delay her.
THE FORMAL LUNCHEON
The formal luncheon is very much like the formal dinner, except that it is not so substantial as to menu. The table is laid the same, except that linen doilies are used in preference to table-cloths. The latter are in good form, however, and it is merely a matter of taste in the final selection. Then too, there is never any artificial light at a luncheon, whether it be simple or elaborate.
The formal luncheon usually opens with a first course of fruit—grapefruit, ordinarily, but sometimes chilled pineapple or fruit cocktails. When the fruit glasses are removed, bouillon in two-handled cups is served. Some times a course of fish follows, but it is really not essential to the luncheon and most hostesses prefer to omit it. An entrée is next served—chicken, mushrooms, sweetbreads or beef according to the taste and judgment of the hostess; and usually a vegetable accompanies it.
​A light salad, prepared with a regard for harmony with the rest of the menu, is always acceptable at the luncheon. Desserts may be the same as those served for dinner,—jellies, frozen puddings, ice-cream, tarts, nuts, etc. It is not customary to retire to the drawing-room for coffee; it is good form to have it served at the table. If the weather is tempting, and if the hostess is so inclined, coffee may be served on the porch. However, these lesser details must be decided by personal taste and convenience.
It may be taken for granted that the hostess would not give a formal luncheon if she had afternoon engagements. For that reason, the guests may stay later than they would at an informal luncheon. Sometimes music is provided, and often there are recitations and dramatic readings. Usually the hour set for a ceremonious luncheon is one-thirty o'clock; it is safe to say, then, that three o'clock or half-past three is ample time to take one's departure.
THE TABLE FOR THE FORMAL LUNCHEON
The appointments of the formal luncheon table are, as was pointed out above, almost identical with those of the dinner table.
In the first place, butter may be served with the formal luncheon and rarely with dinner. Thus we find tiny butter dishes added at the left of each luncheon cover. These plates are usually decorative, and sometimes are made large enough to contain both the bread and butter, instead of just the butter alone. Another difference, though slight:—cut-glass platters for nuts and bonbons take the place of the silver platters of dinner. Candles are not used; nor is any other artificial light whenever it can be avoided.
​The formal luncheon offers an ideal time for the hostess to display her finest china, her best silver. It is an occasion when dignity and beauty combine with easy friendliness to make the event memorable, and the wise hostess spares no effort in adding those little touches that go so far towards making any entertainment a success. Menu cards and favors, of course, are "touches" that belong to the dinner table alone; but flowers, service and general setting of the dining-room are details that deserve considerable attention and thought.
HOSTESS AND GUEST
The primary requisite of a successful luncheon is harmonious and agreeable relationship between hostess and guests. This holds true both of the formal and informal luncheons, though particularly of the former. One cannot possibly enjoy a luncheon—no matter how carefully the menu has been prepared, no matter how delightful the environment—if there are awkward lapses in the conversation; if there are moments of painful, embarrassing silence; or if the conversation is stilted, affected or forced.
Spontaneity of conversation and ease of manner, together with a hostess who knows how to plan delightful little surprises, and simple though delicious menus,—these are the secrets of successful luncheon-giving. And if they cannot be observed, the hostess had better direct her energies toward strictly formal entertainments; the luncheon is not one of her accomplishments.
The hostess receives in her drawing-room. She rises as each guest enters the room, greets her, or him, as the case may be, with outstretched hand, and proceeds with any necessary introductions. As soon as all the guests ​have arrived, she orders luncheon served, and she herself leads the way to the dining-room. The guests may seat themselves in the manner that is most congenial; but in arranging the formal luncheon, the hostess usually identifies the correct seat with a small place card. If there is a guest of honor, or a lady whom the hostess wishes to show deference to, she is given the place to the right of the hostess.
If there are gentlemen at the formal luncheon, including the hostess' husband, they do not remain at the table to smoke and chat as they do after dinner, but leave the dining-room with the ladies. Neither do they offer the ladies their arms when entering or leaving the dining-room. If the host is considerate, and is fortunate enough to have a porch, she will suggest that the gentlemen have their cigars on the porch.
A well-bred guest will never take advantage of the leniency toward late-comers to the luncheon. It is always rude to keep people waiting; but it is doubly so to be lax in one's punctuality because one rule is not as exacting as another. The guest must also bear in mind that a great part of the enjoyment of the luncheon devolves upon his or her own cordiality and friendliness. Every guest must feel it a duty to supply some of the conversation, and if he is not naturally conversant, it might be wise to decide upon and remember several interesting little anecdotes that the company will enjoy hearing. No one can be excused from silence or lack of interest at the luncheon.
To the hostess, then, goes the responsibility of providing the means of enjoyment; to the guests goes the responsibility of utilizing this means, and cooperating with the hostess in making the entire thing a success. There ​are huge social possibilities in the luncheon, and it is rapidly becoming one of America's favorite functions. With both hostess and guest observing their duties, it must inevitably be a triumph that will vie with the important dignity of the formal dinner itself.
FORMAL AND INFORMAL BREAKFASTS
Breakfast to some people may mean a hastily swallowed cup of tea or coffee, and a bit of roll or cake. The early breakfast, of course. But to many there is a later breakfast that is as elaborate as it is tempting.
The formal breakfast may be held any time between ten and twelve-thirty. A fruit course opens the menu, with a mild hors d'œvre following. Soup is never served. After the fruit, fish, broiled or sauté is served, and sometimes deviled lobster if it is preferred. In England, steamed finnan haddie is the favorite breakfast fish.
The personal tastes of the guests must be taken into consideration in deciding upon the main course. Lamb or veal chops are acceptable, and egg dishes are always welcomed. They may be accompanied by mushrooms, small French peas or potatoes. For the next course, chicken meets with favor especially if it is broiled or fried with rice. Dessert of frozen punch, pastry or jellies follows immediately after the chicken; and coffee, in break-fast cups, concludes the meal. And of course, the hot muffins and crisp biscuits of breakfast fame are not forgotten—nor the waffles and syrup, either, if one is partial to them.
For an informal breakfast, the menu is correspondingly less elaborate. Once again it begins with fruit, and it may be followed by the good old-fashioned course of ​ham or bacon and eggs with johnny-cake and potatoes; or the simple breakfast may be started with cereal, served with cream, and followed with broiled finnan haddie and baked potatoes. Eggs, quail or chops, and a crisp salad is another menu often adapted to the late informal break-fast. Desserts should be simple; sweets are seldom indulged in at breakfast. Buns with marmalade or honey are always acceptable, and frozen puddings seem to be a just-right finish to a delicious breakfast.
The informal breakfast is given at ten or eleven o'clock in the morning. It is never very elaborate; it is, in fact, one of the simplest, yet most dignified of informal meals.
DRESS FOR LUNCHEONS AND BREAKFASTS
Whether she is hostess or guest the woman at a breakfast or luncheon should wear an afternoon gown of silk, crêpe-de-chine, velvet, cloth or novelty material. In the summer preference may be given organdies, georgettes, etc. The simpler the affair the simpler the costume should be.
Men may wear the cutaway coat if the luncheon is a formal one while for simpler affairs the sack coat or summer flannels, when the season is appropriate, may be worn.