# The true spouse of Jesus Christ/Chapter 4

CHAPTER IV.
THE DESIRE OF PERFECTION.
I. How Holy Desires are Useful, and even Necessary.
An ardent desire of perfection is the first means that a religious should adopt in order to acquire sanctity and to consecrate her whole being to God. As the sportsman, to hit a bird in flight, must take aim in advance of his prey, so a Christian, to make progress in virtue, should aspire to the highest degree of holiness which it is in his power to attain. Who, says holy David, will ​give me wings like a dove, and I will fly and be at rest. Who will give me the wings of the dove to fly to my God, and, divested of all earthly affection, to repose in the bosom of the divinity? Holy desires are the blessed wings with which the saints burst every worldly tie, and fly to the mountain of perfection, where they find that peace which the world cannot give.
But how do fervent desires make the soul fly to God? "They," says St. Laurence Justinian, "supply strength, and render pains light and tolerable." On the one hand, good desires give strength and courage, and on the other they diminish the labor and fatigue of ascending the mountain of God. Whosoever, through diffidence of attaining sanctity, does not ardently desire to become a saint, will never arrive at perfection. A man who is desirous of obtaining a valuable treasure which he knows is to be found at the top of a lofty mountain, but who, through fear of fatigue and difficulty, has no desire of ascending, will never advance a single step towards the wished-for object, but will remain below in careless indifference and inactivity. And he who, because the path of virtue appears to him narrow and rugged, and difficult to be trodden, does not desire to climb up the mountain of the Lord, and to gain the treasure of perfection, will always continue in a state of tepidity, and will never make the smallest progress in the way of God.
On the contrary, he that does not desire, and does not strenuously endeavor, always to advance in holiness, will, as we learn from experience and from all the masters of the spiritual life, go backward in the path of virtue, and will be exposed to great danger of eternal misery. The ​path of the just, says Solomon, as a shining light goeth forwards and increaseth even to perfect day. The way of the wicked is darksome: they know not when they fall. As light increases constantly from sunrise to full day, so the path of the saints always advances; but the way of sinners becomes continually more dark and gloomy, till they know not where they go, and at length walk into a precipice. " Not to advance," says St. Augustine, " is to go back." St. Gregory beautifully explains this maxim of spiritual life by comparing a Christian who seeks to remain stationary in the path of virtue to a man who is in a boat on a rapid river, and striving to keep the boat always in the same position. If the boat be not continually propelled against the current, it will be carried away in an opposite direction, and consequently, without continual exertion, its station cannot be maintained. Since the fall of Adam man is naturally inclined to evil from his birth. For the imagination and thought of mans heart are prone to evil from his youth. If he do not push forward, if he do not endeavor, by incessant efforts, to improve in sanctity, the very current of passion will carry him back. " Since you do not wish to proceed," says St. Bernard, addressing a tepid soul, " you must fail." " By no means," she replied; " I wish to live, and to remain in my present state. I will not consent to be worse; and I do not desire to be better." "You, then," rejoins the saint, "wish what is impossible." Because, in the way of God, a Christian must ​either go forward and advance in virtue, or go backward and rush headlong into vice.
In seeking eternal salvation, we must, according to St. Paul, never rest, but must run continually in the way of perfection, that we may win the prize, and secure an incorruptible crown. So run that you may obtain. If we fail, the fault will be ours; for God wills that all be holy and perfect. This is the will of God — your sanctification. He even commands us to be perfect and holy. Be you therefore perfect, as also your Heavenly Father is perfect. Be holy because I am holy. He promises and gives, as the holy Council of Trent teaches, abundant strength, for the observance of all his commands, to those who ask it from him. " God does not command impossibilities; but by his precepts he admonishes you to do what you can, and to ask what you cannot do; and he assists you, that you may be able to do it." God does not command impossibilities; but by his precepts he admonishes us to do what we can by the aid of his ordinary grace; and when greater helps are necessary, he exhorts us to seek them by humble prayer. He will infallibly attend to our petitions, and enable us to observe all, even the most difficult, of his commandments. Take courage, then, and adopt the advice of the Venerable Father Torres to a religious, who was one of his penitents: "Let us, my child, put on the wings of strong desires, that, quitting the earth, we may fly to our Spouse and our Beloved, who expects us in the blessed kingdom of eternity."
​St. Augustine teaches, that the life of a good Christian is one continued longing after perfection. " The whole life," says the saint, " of a good Christian is a holy desire." He that cherishes not in his heart the desire of sanctity, may be a Christian; but he will not be a good one. If this be true of all the servants of God, how much more so must it be of religious, who, though it is not imperative on them to be actually perfect, are strictly obliged to aspire after perfection. "He that enters the religious state," says St. Thomas, "is not commanded to have perfect charity; but he is bound to tend to it. It is not," continues the saint, "obligatory on him to adopt all the means by which perfection may be attained; but it is his duty to perform the exercises prescribed by the Rule, which at his profession he promised to observe." Hence, a religious is bound not only to fulfil her vows, but also to assist at public prayer; to make the Communions, and to practise the mortifications ordained by the Rule; to observe the silence, and to discharge all the other duties of the Community.
You will, perhaps, say that your Rule does not bind under pain of sin. That may be; but theologians generally maintain, that to transgress without a sufficient cause even the rules which of themselves do not impose a moral obligation, is almost always a venial fault. Because the wilful and unnecessary violation of rule generally proceeds from passion or from sloth, and consequently must be at least a venial offence. Hence, St. Francis de Sales, in his Entertainments, teaches that though the Rule of the Visitation did not oblige under ​the penalty of sin, still the infraction of it could not be excused from the guilt of a venial transgression, " Because," says the saint, "by disobedience to her Rule a religious dishonors the things of God, violates her profession, disturbs the Community, and dissipates the fruits of the good example which every one should give."
Whoever, then, breaks the Rule in the presence of others, will, according to the saint, incur the additional guilt of scandal. It should be observed that the breach of rule may be even a mortal sin, when it is so frequent as to do serious injury to regular observance in the Community. To violate the Rule, through contempt, is likewise a grievous transgression. And St. Thomas re- marks, that the frequent infraction of rule practically disposes to the contempt of it. This is my answer to those tepid religious who excuse their own irregularities by saying that the Rule imposes no obligation. The fervent spouses of Jesus Christ do not inquire whether their rule has the force of a precept or not: it is enough for them to know that it is approved by God, and that he takes complacency in its observance.
As it is impossible to arrive at perfection in any art or science, without ardent desires of its attainment, so no one has ever yet become a saint, but by strong and fervent aspirations after sanctity. " God," observes St. Teresa, " ordinarily confers his signal favors on those only who thirst after his love." Blessed, says the royal prophet, is the man whose help is from thee: in his heart he hath disposed to ascend by steps in the vale of tears. . . . They shall go from virtue to virtue. Happy the man who has resolved in his soul to mount the ladder of perfection: he shall receive abundant aid from God, and will ascend ​from virtue to virtue. Such has been the practice of the saints, and especially of St. Andrew Avellino, who even bound himself by vow " to advance continually in the way of Christian perfection."' St. Teresa used to say, that " God rewards, even in this life, every good desire." It was by good desires that the saints arrived in a short time at a sublime degree of sanctity. Being made perfect in a short space, he fulfilled a long time. It was thus that St. Aloysius, who lived but twenty-five years, acquired such perfection, that St. Mary Magdalene de Pazzi, who saw him in bliss, declared that his glory appeared equal to that of most of the saints. In the vision he said to her: My eminent sanctity was the fruit of an ardent desire, which I cherished during my life, of loving God as much as he deserved to be loved: and being unable to love him with that infinite love which he merits, I suffered on earth a continual martyrdom of love, for which I am now raised to that transcendent glory which I enjoy.
The works of St. Teresa contain, besides those that have been already adduced, many beautiful passages on this subject. " Our thoughts," says the saint, " should be aspiring: from great desires all our good shall come." In another place she says: "We must not lower our desires, but should trust in God, that by continual exertion we shall, by his grace, arrive at sanctity and felicity of the saints." Again she says: " The divine Majesty takes complacency in generous souls who are diffident in themselves." This great saint asserted that in all her experience she never knew a timid Christian to attain as much virtue in many years as certain courageous souls acquire in a few days. The reading of the Lives of the saints contributes greatly to infuse courage into the soul.
​It will be particularly useful to read the Lives of those who, after being great sinners, became eminent saints; such as the Lives of St. Mary Magdalene, St. Augustine, St. Pelagia, St. Mary of Egypt, and especially of St. Margaret of Cortona, who was for many years in a state of damnation, but even then cherished a desire of sanctity; and who, after her conversion, flew to perfection with such rapidity, that she merited to learn by revelation, even in this life, not only that she was predestined to glory, but also that a place was prepared for her among the seraphim.
St. Teresa says that the devil seeks to persuade us that it would be pride in us to desire a high degree of perfection, or to wish to imitate the saints. She adds, that it is a great delusion to regard strong desires of sanctity as the offspring of pride; for it is not pride in a soul diffident of herself and trusting only in the power of God, to resolve to walk courageously in the way of perfection, saying with the Apostle: I can do all things in him who strengthened me. Of myself I can do nothing; but, by his aid I shall be able to do all things, and therefore I resolve, with his grace, to desire to love him as the saints have loved him.
It is very profitable frequently to aspire after the most exalted virtue, and to desire it; such as to love God more than all the saints; to suffer for the love of him more than all the martyrs; to bear and to pardon all injuries; to embrace every sort of fatigue and suffering, for the sake of saving a single soul; and to perform similar acts of perfect charity. Because these holy aspirations and desires, though their object shall never be attained, are, in the first place, very meritorious in the sight of God, who glories in men of good will, as he abominates a perverse heart and evil inclinations. Secondly, because the habit of aspiring to heroic sanc​tity animates and encourages the soul to perform acts of ordinary and easy virtue. Hence it is of great importance to propose in the morning to labor as much as possible for God during the day; to resolve to bear patiently all crosses and contradictions; to observe constant recollection; and to make continual acts of the love of God. Such was the practice of the seraphic St. Francis. "He proposed," says St. Bonaventure, "with the grace of Jesus Christ, to do great things." St. Teresa asserts that "the Lord is as well pleased with good desires as with their fulfilment." Oh! how much better is it to serve God than to serve the world. To acquire goods of the earth, to procure wealth, honors, and applause of men, it is not enough to pant after them with ardor; no, to desire and not to obtain them only renders their absence more painful. But to merit the riches and the favor of God, it is sufficient to desire his grace and love. St. Augustine relates that in a convent of hermits there were two officers of the emperor's court, one of whom began to read the life of St Anthony. "He read," says the holy Doctor, "and his heart was stripped of the world." Turning to his companion, he said: "What do we seek? Can we expect from the emperor anything better than his friendship? Through how many dangers are we to reach still greater perils? and how long shall this last? Fools that we have been, shall we still continue to serve the emperor in the midst of so many labors, fears, and troubles? We can hope for nothing better than his favor; and should we obtain it, we would only increase the danger of our eternal reprobation. It is only with difficulty that we shall ever procure the patronage of Caesar, but if I will it, behold ​I am in a moment the friend of God." Because whoever wishes, with a true and resolute desire for the friendship of God, instantly obtains it.
I say with a true and resolute desire, for little profit is derived from the fruitless desires of slothful souls, who always desire to be saints, but never advance a single step in the way of God. Of them Solomon says: The sluggard willelh and willeth not. And again: Desires kill the slothful. The tepid religious desires perfection, but never resolves to adopt the means of its acquirement. Contemplating its advantages, she desires it; but reflecting on the fatigue necessary for its attainment, she desires it not. Thus "she willeth and willeth not." Her desires of sanctity are not efficacious; they have for their object means of salvation incompatible with her state. Oh! she exclaims, were I in the desert, all my time should be employed in prayer and in works of penance! were I in another convent, I would shut myself up in a cell to think only of God! if my health were good, I would practise continual mortifications. I would wish, I would wish, she cries, to do all this; and still the miserable soul does not fulfil the obligations of her state. She makes but little mental prayer, and is even absent from the common meditations; she neglects Communion; is seldom in the choir, and frequently at the grate and on the terrace; she practises but little patience or resignation in her infirmities; in a word, she daily commits wilful and deliberate faults, but never labors to correct them. What, then, will it profit her to desire what is inconsistent with the duties of her present state, while she violates strict obligations? Desires kill the slothful. Such useless desires expose the soul to great danger of everlasting perdition; ​because wasting her time, and taking complacency in them, she will neglect the means necessary fur the perfection of her state, and for the attainment of eternal life.
"I do not," says St. Francis de Sales, "approve of the conduct of those who, while bound by an obligation, or placed in any state, spend their time in wishing for another manner of life, inconsistent with their duties; or for exercises incompatible with their present state. For these desires dissipate the heart, and make it languish in the necessary exercises." ' It is, then, the duty of a religious to aspire only after that perfection which is suitable to her present state and to her actual obligations; and whether a Superior, or a subject, whether in sickness or in health, the vigor of youth or the imbecility of old age, to adopt, resolutely, the means of sanctity suitable to her condition in life. "The devil," says St. Teresa, "sometimes persuades us that we have acquired the virtue, for example, of patience; because we determine to suffer a great deal for God. We feel really convinced that we are ready to accept any cross, however great, for his sake; and this conviction makes us quite content, for the devil assists us to believe that we are willing to bear all things for God. I advise you not to trust much to such virtue, nor to think that you even know it, except in name, until you see it tried. It will probably happen that on the first occasion of contradiction all this patience will fall to the ground."'
2. Means for Acquiring Perfection.
Let us now come to what is most important — the means to be adopted for acquiring perfection.
The first means is mental prayer, and particularly the meditation of the claims which God has to our love, and of the love which he has borne us, especially in the great work of redemption. To redeem us, a God has ​even sacrificed his life in a sea of sorrows and contempt; and to obtain our love, he has gone so far as to make himself our food. To inflame the soul with the fire of divine love, these truths must be frequently meditated. In my meditation, says David, a fire shall flame out. When I contemplate the goodness of my God, the flames of charity fill my whole heart. St. Aloysius used to say, that to attain eminent sanctity it is first necessary to arrive at a high degree of mental prayer.
We should frequently renew our resolution of advancing in divine love. In this renewal you will be greatly assisted by considering, each day, that it is only then you begin to walk in the path of virtue. This was the practice of holy David: And I said, now have I begun. And this was the dying advice of St. Anthony to his monks: "My dear children, figure to yourselves that each day is the day on which you begin to serve God."
We should search out continually and scrupulously the defects of the soul. " Brethren," says St. Augustine, "examine yourselves with rigor; be always displeased with what you are, if you desire to become what you are not." To arrive at that perfection which you have not attained, you must never be satisfied with the virtue you possess; "for," continues the saint, "where you have been pleased with yourself, there you have remained." Wherever you are content with the degree of sanctity which you have acquired, there you will rest, and, taking complacency in yourself, you will lose the desire of further perfection. Hence the holy Doctor adds, what should terrify every tepid soul, who, content with her present virtue, has but little desire of spiritual advance​ment; "But if you have said it is sufficient, you have perished." ' If you have said that you have already attained sufficient perfection, you are lost; for not to advance in the way of God is to retrograde. And, as St. Bernard says, "Not to wish to go forward, is certainly to fail." Hence St. John Chrysostom exhorts us to think continually on the virtues which we do not possess, and never to reflect on the little good which we have done; for the thought of our good works "generates indolence and inspires arrogance," and serves only to engender sloth in the way of the Lord, and to swell the heart with vain-glory, which exposes the soul to the danger of losing the virtues she has acquired. "He that runs," continues the saint, "does not compute the progress he has made, but the distance he has to travel." He that aspires after perfection does not stop to calculate the proficiency he has made, but directs all his attention to the virtue he has still to acquire. Fervent Christians, as they that dig a treasure, advance in virtue as they approach the end of life. As St. Gregory says, in his comment on this passage of Job, that the man who seeks a treasure, the deeper he has dug the more he exerts himself in the hope of finding it; so the soul that pants after holiness multiplies its efforts to attain it in proportion to the advancement it has made.
IV. The fourth means is that which St. Bernard employed to excite his fervor. " He had," says Surius, " this always in his heart, and frequently in his mouth: ​"Bernard, for what purpose hast thou come?" Every religious should continually ask herself the same question: I have left the world and all its riches and pleasures, to live in the cloister, and to become a saint; what progress do I make? I do not advance in sanctity; no, but by my tepidity I expose myself to the danger of eternal perdition. It will be useful to introduce, in this place, the example of the Venerable Sister Hyacinth Mariscotti, who at first led a very tepid life, in the convent of St. Bernardine, in Viterbo. She confessed to Father Bianchetti, a Franciscan, who came to the convent as extraordinary confessor. That holy man thus addressed her: " Are you a nun? Are you not aware that paradise is not prepared for vain and proud religious?" "Then," she replied, " have I left the world to cast myself into hell?" "Yes," rejoined the Father, " that is the place which is destined for religious who live like seculars." Reflecting on these words of the holy man, Sister Hyacinth was struck with remorse; and, bewailing her past life, she made her confession with tearful eyes, and began from that moment to walk resolutely in the way of perfection. Oh! how salutary is the thought of having abandoned the world to become a saint! It awakens the tepidity of the religious, and encourages her to advance continually in holiness, and to surmount every obstacle to her ascent up to the mountain of God. Whenever, then, O spouse of Jesus, you meet with difficulties in the practice of obedience, say in your heart: I have not entered religion to do my own will; if I wished to follow my own inclinations, I should have remained in the world; but I have come here to do the will of God, by obedience to my Superiors, and this I desire to do in spite of all difficulties. Whenever you experience the inconveniences of poverty, say: I have not left the ​world and retired into the cloister for the enjoyment of ease and riches, but to practise poverty for the love of my Jesus, who for my sake became poorer than I am. When you are rebuked or treated with contempt, say: I have become a religious only to receive, and bear with patience, the humiliations due to my sins, and thus render myself dear to my divine Spouse, who was so much despised on earth. By this means you will live to God and die to the world. In conclusion, I recommend you frequently to ask yourself this question: What will it profit me to have abandoned the world, to have confined myself in the cloister, to have given up my liberty, if I do not become a saint; but if, on the contrary, I expose my soul to everlasting misery by a careless and tepid and negligent life?
V. The fifth means for a religious to attain sanctity is frequently to call to mind and to renew the sentiments of fervor and the desires of perfection which she felt when she first entered religion. The Abbot Agatho being once asked by a monk for a rule of conduct in religion, replied: " See what you were on the day you left the world, and persevere in the dispositions you then entertained." Remember, O consecrated virgin, the resolutions which you made on the day you retired from the world, to seek nothing but God; to have no will but his, and to suffer all manner of contempt and hardship for the love of Jesus Christ. This thought, as we learn from the Lives of the Fathers, brought back to his first fervor a young monk who had fallen into tepidity. When he first determined to retire into a monastery, his mother strongly opposed his design, and endeavored by various reasons to show that it was his bounden duty not to abandon her. To all her arguments he replied: ​"I am resolved to save my soul." And in spite of her opposition he entered religion; but after some time his ardor cooled, and tepidity stole into his heart. His mother died, and a little after her death he was seized with a dangerous malady. In his sickness he thought he saw himself before the judgment-seat of God, and his mother reproaching him with the violation of his first resolution: My son, said she, you have forgotten the words, "I am resolved to save my soul," by which you replied to all my entreaties. You have become a religious, and is it thus you live? He recovered from his infirmity, and, reflecting on his first fervor, he began a life of holiness, and practised such mortifications that his companions advised him to moderate his austerities. To their admonitions he answered: "If I have not been able to bear the rebuke of my mother, how shall I, if I abuse his graces, support the reproaches of Jesus Christ in judgment?" The reading of the Lives of the saints is very profitable to us; their examples humble us, and make us know and feel our own miseries. The poor understand their poverty only when they see the treasures of the rich.
VI. The sixth means is, not to lose courage when you perceive that you have not as yet arrived at the perfection to which you aspire. To be discouraged by the imperfections which you desire to correct, would be to yield to a great illusion of the devil. St. Philip Neri used to say, that to become a saint is not the work of a day. It is related in the Lives of the Fathers, that a certain monk, after having begun his religious career with great fervor, relaxed his zeal, and remained for some time in a state of tepidity; but reflecting on his unhappy condition, he began to sigh after his former piety, and became greatly afflicted because he knew not how to recover it. In this disposition of mind he sought advice from an aged Father. The good Father con​soled and encouraged him by relating the conduct of a parent who commanded his son to clear a certain portion of land from thorns and briars. Disheartened by the difficulty of the task, and despairing of success, the son neglected altogether the duty imposed upon him, and excused himself to his father, saying that he had not courage to undertake such labor. In answer the father said to him: My son, I only ask you to cleanse, every day, as much land as will be the size of your body. The son began to work, and by degrees he removed every useless and noxious plant. This example is well adapted to encourage and stimulate us in our progress to perfection. He that always cherishes an ardent desire of advancement, and strives continually to go forward, will, with the divine assistance, obtain the perfection after which he aspires. St. Bernard says that to make constant exertions to advance in virtue is the perfection that can be attained in this life. " Continual efforts for perfection," says the saint, "are reputed perfection.'" You must be careful never to omit your usual exercises, your meditations, Communions, or mortifications. This rule must be particularly observed in the time of aridity. It is then that God tries his faithful servants, and that they prove their fidelity to him, by discharging, in spite of their darkness, pains, and difficulties, the duties which, amid the abundance of his celestial consolations, they were accustomed to perform.
VII. The last and most efficacious means of perfection is, to have continually before your eyes the examples of the Sisters who are most distinguished for sanctity, in order to imitate the virtues which they practise. St. Anthony says, as the bee gathers honey from every flower, so a religious should draw lessons of perfection from the good examples of all her companions. She should emulate the modesty of one, the charity and ​affection for prayer of another, the frequent Communion of a third, and all the other virtues practised by the rest of the Community. Such is the holy zeal with which a good religious should endeavor to rival, and even to excel, all the Sisters in all virtues. Worldlings seek to surpass one another in riches, honors, and earthly pleasures; but a religious ought to struggle for the superiority in humility, patience, meekness, charity, love of contempt, poverty, purity, and obedience. To outstrip one another in loving and pleasing God should be the object of their emulation. To succeed in this holy contest, a religious must perform all her ordinary actions with an intention of pleasing God, and of edifying her companions that thus she may sanctify herself, and give greater glory to the Lord. So let your light shine before men, that they may see your works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven. Hence, they who admit to the religious profession a novice whose conduct has disedified her Sisters, incur a great responsibility; for as good example stimulates to virtue, so the loose and irregular lives of the tepid scandalize the Community, and lead many of its members into the faults which they witness every day.
Prayer.
O divine Heart of my Jesus! Heart enamoured of men! Heart created to love them! how is it possible that thou hast been so much dishonored and despised by them? Unhappy me! I, too, have been one of those ungrateful souls; I, too, have lived so many years in the world and have not loved thee. Pardon me, O my Jesus, the great fault of not having loved Thee, who art so amiable, and who hast loved me so much, that Thou couldst not have done more than Thou hast done to oblige me to love Thee. In punishment of having so long despised Thy love, I would deserve to be condemned to that miserable state in which I could never love Thee. But no, my ​Spouse; I cheerfully accept every chastisement except the eternal privation of Thy love. Grant me the grace to love Thee, and then dispose of me as Thou pleasest. But how can I fear such a chastisement when Thou dost continue still to command me to love Thee, my Lord and my God. Thou shall, thou sayest, love the Lord thy God with thy whole heart. It is Thy will that I love Thee with my whole soul, and I desire nothing but to love Thee with all my strength. O loving Heart of my Jesus, light up in my soul that blessed fire which Thou camest on earth to enkindle. Destroy all the earthly attachments that still live in my heart, and prevent me from belonging entirely to Thee. O my beloved Saviour, do not reject the love of a heart which has hitherto so much afflicted Thee. Ah! since Thou hast loved me so much, do not permit me to live for a single moment without Thy love. O love of my Jesus, Thou art my love. I hope that I shall always love Thee, and that Thou wilt always love me; and that this mutual love shall never be dissolved.
O Mary, mother of fair love; O thou who dost desire to see thy Son loved, bind and unite me to Jesus, so that I may become entirely his, as he desires me to be.
* ↑ 1 Cor. ix. 24.
* ↑ Phil. iv. 13
* ↑ Prov. xiii. 4.