# Original Stories from Real Life/Chapter 11

CHAP. XI.
Dreſs.—A Character.—Remarks on Mrs. Trueman's Manner of dreſſing.-Trifling Omiſſions undermine Affection.
MARY'S procraſtinating temper produced many other ill conſequences; ſhe would lie in bed till the laſt moment, and then appear without waſhing her face or cleaning her teeth. Mrs. Maſon had often obſerved it, and hinted her diſlike; but, unwilling to burden her with precepts, ſhe waited for a glaring example. One was ſoon accidentally thrown in her way, and ſhe determined that it ſhould not paſs unobſerved.
A lady, who was remarkable for her negligence in this reſpect, ſpent a week with them; and, during that time, very frequently diſconcerted the œconomy of the family. She was ſeldom fit to be ſeen, and if any company came by chance to dinner, sſe would make them wait till it was quite ​cold, whilſt ſhe huddled on ſome ill-choſen finery. In the ſame ſtyle, if a little party of pleaſure was propoſed, ſhe had to dreſs herſelf, and the hurry diſcompoſed her, and tired thoſe, who did not like to loſe time in anticipating a trifling amuſement.
A few hours after ſhe had left them, Mrs Maſon enquired of Mary, what effect this week’s experience had had on her mind? You are fond of ridicule, child, but ſeldom in the right place; real cauſe for it you let ſlip, and heed not the ſilent reproof that points at your own faults:—do not miſtake me, I would not have you laugh at—yet I wiſh you to feel, what is ridiculous, and learn to diſtinguiſh folly. Mrs. Dowdy's negligence ariſes from indolence; her mind is not employed about matters of importance; and, if it were, it would not be a ſufficient excuſe for her habitually neglecting an eſſential part of a man's as well as a woman's duty. I ſaid habitually; grief will often make thoſe careleſs, who, at other times, pay a proper attention to their perſon; and this neglect is a ſure ​indication that the canker-worm is at work; and we ought to pity rather than blame the unfortunate. Indeed when painful activity of mind occaſions this inattention, it will not laſt long; the ſoul ſtruggles to free itſelf, and return to its uſual tone and old habits. The lady we have been ſpeaking of, ever appears a ſloven, though ſhe is ſometimes a diſgusting figure, and, at others, a very taudry flirt.
I continually caution Caroline not to ſpend much time in adorning her perſon; but I never deſired you to neglect yours. Wiſdom conſiſts in avoiding extremes—immoderate fondneſs for dreſs, I term vanity; but a proper attention to avoid ſingularity does not deſerve that name. Never waſte much time about trifles; but the time that is neceſſary, employ properly. Exerciſe your underſtanding, taſte flows from it, and will in a moment direct you, if you are not too ſolicitous to conform to the changing faſhions; and loiter away in laborious idleneſs the precious moments when the imagination is most lively, and ſhould ​be allowed to fix virtuous affections in the tender youthful heart.
Of all the women whom I have ever met with, Mrs. Trueman ſeems the freeſt from vanity, and thoſe frivolous views which degrade the female character. Her virtues claim reſpect, and the practice of them engroſſes her thoughts; yet her clothes are apparently well choſen, and you always ſee her in the ſame attire. Not like many women who are eager to ſet off their perſons to the beſt advantage, when they are only going to take a walk, and are careleſs, nay ſlovenly, when forced to ſtay at home. Mrs. Trueman’s conduct is just the reverſe, ſhe tries to avoid ſingularity, for ſhe does not wiſh to diſguſt the generality; but it is her family, her friends, whom ſhe ſtudies to pleaſe.
In dreſs it is not little minute things, but the whole that ſhould be attended to, and that every day; and this attention gives an eaſe to the perſon becauſe the clothes appear unſtudily graceful. Never, continued Mrs. Maſon, deſire to excel in trifles, ​if you do, there is an end to virtuous emulation, the mind cannot attend to both; for when the main purſuit is trivial, the character will of courſe become inſignificant. Habitual neatneſs is laudable; but, if you wish to be reckoned a well, an elegantly dreſſed girl, and feel that praiſe on account of it gives you pleaſure, you are vain; and a laudable ambition cannot dwell with vanity.
Servants, and thoſe women whoſe minds have had a very limited range, place all their happineſs in ornaments, and frequently neglect the only eſſential part in dress—neatneſs.
I have not the leaſt objection to your dreſſing according to your age; I rather encourage it, by allowing you to wear the gayeſt colours; yet I inſiſt on ſome degree of uniformity: and think you treat me diſreſpectfully when you appear before me, and have forgotten to do, what ſhould never be neglected, and what you could have done in leſs than a quarter of an hour.
​I always dreſs myſelf before breakfaſt, and expect you to follow my example, if there is not a ſufficient and obvious excuse. You, Mary, missed a pleaſant airing yeſterday; for if you had not forgotten the reſpect which is due to me, and hurried down to breakfaſt in a ſlovenly manner, I ſhould have taken you out with me; but I did not chooſe to wait till you were ready, as your not being ſo was entirely your own fault.
Fathers, and men in general, complain of this inattention; they have always to wait for females. Learn to avoid this fault, however inſignificant it may appear in your eyes, for that habit cannot be of little conſequence that ſometimes weakens eſteem. When we frequently make allowance for another in trifling matters, notions of inferiority take root in the mind, and too often produce contempt. Reſpect for the underſtanding muſt be the baſis of conſtancy; the tenderneſs which flows from pity is liable to periſh inſenſibly, to conſume itſelf—even the virtues of the heart, when they degenerate into weakneſs, ſink a character ​in our eſtimation. Beſides, a kind of groſs familiarity, takes place of decent affection; and the reſpect, which alone can render domeſtic intimacy a laſting comfort, is loſt before we are aware of it.