# Shakespeare - First Folio facsimile (1910)/The Merry Wives of Windsor/Act 2 Scene 1

Actus Secundus. Scæna Prima.
Enter Mistris Page, Mistris Ford, Master Page, Master Ford, Pistoll, Nim, Quickly, Host, Shallow.
Mist.Page. What, haue scap'd Loue-letters in the holly-day-time of my beauty, and am I now a subiect for them? let me see?
Aske me no reason why I loue you, for though Loue vse Reason for his precisian, hee admits him not for his Counsailour: you are not yong, no more am I: goe to then, there's simpathie: you are merry, so am I: ha, ha, then there's more simpathie: you loue sacke, and so do I: would you desire better simpathie? Let it suffice thee (Mistris Page) at the least if the Loue of Souldier can suffice, that I loue thee: I will not say pitty mee, 'tis not a Souldier-like phrase; but I say, loue me: By me, thine owne true Knight, by day or night: Or any kinde of light, with all his might, For thee to fight.Iohn Falstaffe.
What a Herod of Iurie is this? O wicked, wicked world: One that is well-nye worne to peeces with age To show himselfe a yong Gallant? What an vnwaied Behauiour hath this Flemish drunkard pickt (with The Deuills name) out of my conuersation, that he dares In this manner assay me? why, hee hath not beene thrice In my Company: what should I say to him? I was then Frugall of my mirth: (heauen forgiue mee:) why Ile Exhibit a Bill in the Parliament for the putting downe of men: how shall I be reueng'd on him? for reueng'd I
will be? as sure as his guts are made of puddings.
Mis.Ford.
Mistris Page, trust me, I was going to your house.
Mis.Page.
And trust me, I was comming to you: you looke very ill.
Mis.Ford.
Nay Ile nere beleeue that; I haue to shew to the contrary.
Mis.Page.
'Faith but you doe in my minde.
Mis.Ford.
Well: I doe then: yet I say, I could shew you to the contrary: O Mistris Page, giue mee some counsaile.
Mis.Page.
What's the matter, woman?
Mi.Ford.
O woman: if it were not for one trifling respect, I could come to such honour.
Mi.Page.
Hang the trifle (woman) take the honour: what is it? dispence with trifles: what is it?
Mi.Ford.
If I would but goe to hell, for an eternall moment, or so: I could be knighted.
Mi.Page.
What thou liest? Sir Alice Ford? these Knights will hacke, and so thou shouldst not alter the article of thy Gentry.
Mi.Ford.
Wee burne day-light: heere, read, read: perceiue how I might bee knighted, I shall thinke the worse of fat men, as long as I haue an eye to make difference of mens liking: and yet hee would not sweare:
Ford. Good mine Host o'th' Garter: a word with you.
Host.
What saist thou, my Bully-Rooke?
Shal.
Will you goe with vs to behold it? My merry Host hath had the measuring of their weapons; and (I thinke) hath appointed them contrary places: for (beleeue mee) I heare the Parson is no Iester: harke, I will tell you what our sport shall be.
Host.
Hast thou no suit against my Knight? my guest-Caualeire? Shal. None, I protest: but Ile giue you a pottle of burn'd sacke, to giue me recourse to him, and tell him my name is Broome: onely for a iest.
Host.
My hand, (Bully:) thou shalt haue egresse and regresse, (said I well?) and thy name shall be Broome. It is a merry Knight: will you goe An-heires?
Shal.
Haue with you mine Host.
Page.
I haue heard the French-man hath good skill in his Rapier.
Shal.
Tut sir: I could haue told you more: In these times you stand on distance: your Passes, Stoccado's, and I know not what: 'tis the heart (Master Page) 'tis heere, 'tis heere: I haue seene the time, with my long-sword, I would haue made you fowre tall fellowes skippe like Rattes.
Host.
Heere boyes, heere, heere: shall we wag?
Page.
Haue with you: I had rather heare them scold, then fight.
Ford.
Though Page be a secure foole, and stands so firmely on his wiues frailty; yet, I cannot put-off my opinion so easily: she was in his company at Pages house: and what they made there, I know not. Well, I wil looke further into't, and I haue a disguise, to sound Falstaffe; if I finde her honest, I loose not my labor: if she be otherwise, 'tis labour well bestowed. Exeunt.
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