# Clarel/Part 3/Canto 21
## 21. In Confidence

Towers twain crown Saba's mountain hight;
And one, with larger outlook bold, Monks frequent climb or day or night To peer for Arabs. In the breeze So the ship's lifted topmen hold 5 Watch on the blue and silver seas, To guard against the slim Malay, That perilous imp whose slender proa Great hulls have rued--as in ill hour The whale the sword-fish' lank assay. 10
Upon that pile, to catch the dawn, Alert next day see Derwent stand With Clarel. All the mountain-land Disclosed through Kedron far withdrawn, Cloven and shattered, hushed and banned, 15
Seemed poised as in a chaos true, Or throe-lock of transitional earth When old forms are annulled, and new Rebel, and pangs suspend the birth.  That aspect influenced Clarel. Fair 20 Derwent's regard played otherwhere-- Expectant. Twilight gray took on Suffusion faint of cherry tone. The student marked it; but the priest Marked whence it came: "Turn, turn--the East! 25 Oh, look! how like an ember red The seed of fire, by early hand Raked forth from out the ashy bed, Shows yon tinged flake of dawn. See, fanned As 'twere, by this spice-air that blows, 30 The live coal kindles--the fire grows!" And mute, he watched till all the East Was flame: "Ah, who would not here come, And from dull drowsiness released, Behold morn's rosy martyrdom!" 35  It was an unaffected joy, And showed him free from all annoy Within--such, say, as mutiny Of non-content in random touch That he perchance had overmuch 40 Favored the first night's revelry.  For Clarel--though at call indeed He might not else than turn and feed On florid dawn--not less, anon, When wonted light of day was won, 45 Sober and common light, with that Returned to him his unelate And unalleviated tone; And thoughts, strange thoughts, derived overnight, Touching the Swede's dark undelight, 50 Recurred; with sequence how profuse Concerning all the company-- The Arnaut, and the man of glee-- The Lesbian, and calm grave Druze,
And Belex; yes, and in degree 55 Even Rolfe; Vine too. Less he who trim Beside him stood, eludes his doubt-- Derwent himself, whose easy skim Never had satisfied throughout. He now, if not deemed less devout 60 Through wassail and late hint of him, Was keenlier scanned. Yet part might be Effect of long society, Which still detracts. But in review Of one who could such doubt renew, 65 Clarel inveighs: Parhelion orb Of faith autumnal, may the dew Of earth's sad tears thy rays absorb? Truth bitter: Derwent bred distrust Heavier than came from Mortmain's thrust 70 Into the cloud--profounder far Than Achor's glen with ominous scar.  All aliens now being quite aloof, Fain would he put that soul to proof. Yet, fearful lest he might displease, 75 His topics broached he by degrees. Needless. For Derwent never shrunk:  "Lad, lad, this diffidence forget; Believe, you talk here to no monk: Who's old Duns Scotus? We're well met. 80
Glad that at last your mind you set In frank communion here with me. Better had this been earlier, though; There lacked not times of privacy Had such been sought. But yes, I know; 85 You're young, you're off the poise; and so A link have felt with hearts the same Though more advanced. I scarce can blame. And yet perhaps one here might plead These rather stimulate than feed. 90 Nor less let each tongue say its say; Therefrom we truth elicit. Nay, And with the worst, 'tis understood
We broader clergy think it good No more to use censorious tone: 95 License to all.--We are alone; Speak out, that's right."  The student first Cited the din of clashed belief So loud in Palestine, and chief 100 By Calvary, where are rehearsed Within the Sepulcher's one fane All rituals which, ere Luther's reign, Shared the assent of Christendom. Besides: how was it even at home? 105 Behind the mellow chancel's rail Lurked strife intestine. What avail The parlor-chapels liberal? The hearers their own minds elect; The very pews are each a sect; 110 No one opinion's steadfast sway: A wide, an elemental fray. As with ships moored in road unsafe, When gales augment and billows chafe, Hull drives 'gainst hull, endangering all 115 In crossing cables; while from thrall Of anchor, others, dragged amain, Drift seaward: so the churches strain, Much so the fleets sectarian meet Doubt's equinox. Yes, all was dim; 120 He saw no one secure retreat; Of late so much had shaken him.  Derwent in grave concern inclined. "Part true, alas!" Nor less he claimed Reserves of solace, and of kind 125 Beyond that in the desert named, When the debate was scarce with men Who owned with him a common ground-- True center where they might convene. And yet this solace when unbound 130 At best proved vague (so Clarel deemed). He thought, too, that the priest here seemed Embarrassed on the sudden, nay, He faltered. What could so betray? In single contact, heart to heart, 135 With young, fresh, fervid earnestness, Was he surprised into distress-- An honest quandary, a smart More trying e'en than Mortmain's dart, Grieving and graveling, could deal? 140  But Derwent rallied, and with zeal: "Shall everything then plain be made? Not that there's any ambuscade: In youth's first heat to think to know! For time 'tis well to bear a cross: 145 Yet on some waters here below Pilots there be, if one's at loss."  The pupil colored; then restrained An apt retort too personal, Content with this: "Pilots retained? 150 But in debates which I recall Such proved but naught. This side that side, They crossing hail through fogs that dwell Upon a limitless deep tide, While their own cutters toll the bell 155 Of groping."  Derwent bit the lip; Altered again, had fain let slip "Throw all this burden upon HIM;"
But hesitated. Changing trim, 160 Considerate then he turned a look Which seemed to weigh as in a book Just how far youth might well be let Into maturity's cabinet. He, as in trial, took this tone: 165 "Not but there's here and there a heart Which shares at whiles strange throbs alone. Such at the freakish sting will start: No umpirage! they cry--we dote To dream heaven drops a casting vote, 170 In these perplexities takes part!"
 Clarel, uncertain, stood at gaze, But Derwent, riving that amaze, Advanced impulsively: "Your hand! No longer will I be restrained. 175 Yours is a sect--but never mind: By function we are intertwined, Our common function. Weigh it thus: Clerics we are clerics, my son; Nay, shrink not so incredulous; 180 Paternally my sympathies run-- Toward you I yearn. Well, now: what joy, What saving calm, what but annoy In all this hunt without one clew? What lack ye, pray? what would ye do? 185 Have Faith, which, even from the myth, Draws something to be useful with: In any form some truths will hold; Employ the present-sanctioned mold. Nay, hear me out; clean breast I make, 190 Quite unreserved--and for whose sake? Suppose an instituted creed (Or truth or fable) should indeed To ashes fall; the spirit exhales, But reinfunds in active forms: 195 Verse, popular verse, it charms or warms-- Bellies Philosophy's flattened sails-- Tinctures the very book, perchance, Which claims arrest of its advance. Why, the true import, deeper use 200 Shows first when Reason quite slips noose, And Faith's long dead. Attest that gold Which Bacon counted down and told In one ripe tract, by time unshamed, Wherein from riddle he reclaimed 205 The myths of Greece. But go back--well, Reach to the years of first decay Or totter: prithee, lad, but tell How with the flamens of that day? When brake the sun from morning's tents 210
And walked the hills, and gilded thence The fane in porch; the priest in view Bowed--hailed Apollo, as before, Ere change set in; what else to do? Or whither turn, or what adore? 215 What but to temporize for him, Stranded upon an interim Between the ebb and flood? He knew.-- You see? Transfer--apply it, you."  "Ill know I what you there advise.-- 220 Ah, heaven!" and for a moment stood; Then turned: "A rite they solemnize An awful rite, and yet how sweet To humble hearts which sorrows beat. Tell, is that mystic flesh and blood-- 225 I shrink to utter it!--Of old For medicine they mummy sold-- Conjurer's balsam.--God, my God, Sorely Thou triest me the clod!"
 Upon the impassioned novice here 230 Discreet the kind proficient throws The glance of one who still would peer Where best to take the hedge or close. Ere long: "You'd do the world some good? Well, then: no good man will gainsay 235
That good is good, done any way, In any name, by any brotherhood. How think you there?"  From Clarel naught. Derwent went on: "For lamp you yearn-- 240 A lantern to benighted thought. Obtain it--whither will you turn? Still lost you'd be in blanks of snow. My fellow-creature, do you know That what most satisfies the head 245 Least solaces the heart? Less light Than warmth needs earthly wight. Christ built a hearth:the flame is dead We'll say, extinct; but lingers yet, Enlodged in stone, the hoarded heat. 250 Why not nurse that? Would rive the door And let the sleet in? But, once o'er, This tarrying glow, never to man, Methinks, shall come the like again. What if some camp on crags austere 255 The Stoic held ere Gospel cheer? There may the common herd abide, Having dreamed of heaven? Nay, and can you? You shun that; what shall needier do? Think, think!" 260  The student, sorely tried, The appeal and implication felt, But comfort none.  And Derwent dealt Heaped measure still: "All your ado 265 In youth was mine; your swarm I knew Of buzzing doubts. But is it good Such gnats to fight? or well to brood In selfish introverted search, Leaving the poor world in the lurch? 270 Not so did Christ. Nor less he knew And shared a troubled era too; And shared besides that problem gray Which is forever and alway: His person our own shadow threw. 275 Then heed him, heed his eldership: In all respects did Christ indeed Credit the Jews' crab-apple creed Whereto he yet conformed? or so But use it, graft it with his slip 280 From Paradise? No, no--no, no! Spare fervid speech! But, for the rest, Be not extreme. Midway is best. Herein 'tis never as by Nilc From waste to garden but a stile. 285 Betwixt rejection and belief, Shadings there are--degrees, in brief. But ween you, gentle friend, your way
Of giving to yourself the goad Is obsolete, no more the mode? 290 Our comrades--frankly let me say-- That Rolfe, good fellow though he be, And Vine, methinks, would you but see, Are much like prints from plates but old. Interpretations so unfold-- 295 New finding, happy gloss or key, A decade's now a century. Byron's storm-cloud away has rolled-- Joined Werter's; Shelley's drowned; and--why, Perverse were now e'en Hamlet's sigh: 300 Perverse?--indecorous indeed!"  "E'en so? e'en sadly is it so?" "Not sad, but veritable, know. But what--how's this!" For here, with speed Of passion, Clarel turned: "Forbear! 305 Ah, wherefore not at once nameJob, In whom these Hamlets all conglobe. Own, own with me, and spare to feign, Doubt bleeds, nor Faith is free from pain!"  Derwent averted here his facc 310 With his own heart he seemed to strive; Then said: "Alas, too deep you dive. But hear me yet for little space:
This shaft you sink shall strike no bloom: The surface, ah, heaven keeps that green; 315 Green, sunny: nature's active scene, For man appointed, man's true home."
 He ended. Saba's desert lay-- Glare rived by gloom. That comment's sway He felt: "Our privacy is gone; 320 Here trips young Anselm to espy Arab or pilgrim drawing nigh. Dost hear him? come then, we'll go down. Precede. "  At every step and steep, 325 While higher came the youthful monk, Lower and lower in Clarel sunk The freighted heart. It touched this deep: Ah, Nehemiah, alone art true? Secure in reason's wane or loss? 330 Thy folly that folly of the cross Contemned by reason, yet how dear to you?