# Memoirs of James Hardy Vaux/Volume 1/Chapter 21

CHAPTER XXI.
THE anchor was no sooner down, than the cutter was hoisted out, in which Captain King went ashore and immediately proceeded post to London. The following day the Buffalo weighed, and sailed into Portsmouth harbour, where she was lashed alongside a hulk near the shore, and preparations instantly made for clearing and dismantling her, preparatory to her survey and expected condemnation. Those persons who had obtained a passage on various acounts, and were not on the ship's books, were now permitted to dis-embark, and depart to their respective homes. I now felt the full weight of the misery in which I was involved. After an absence of nearly seven years from my native land, to enjoy once more the sight of that much-loved ​spot, and when within a hundred yards of the shore, to be debarred from a nearer approach, was mortifying in the extreme, and my situation could only be compared to that of Tantalus in the Heathen mythology. The purser was now busily intent Upon making up the Buffalo's books, to be transmitted to the Navy-office, previous to her being paid, and her crew drafted into other ships. As these accounts were extensive, and required both care and expedition; Mr. Sherard, the purser, requested that I would assist the captain's clerk of the ship in their arrangement, for which he obtained the sanction of Captain Houston, promising to reward me for my trouble. I was now excused from all other duty, and immediately set about the required task with alacrity, conceiving hopes that I might by this compliance facilitate my grand object of escaping from the ship. By dint of unremitting assiduity we completed the whole of the accounts in about a fortnight, to the satisfaction of the purser, and I had no sooner acquitted myself of this duty than Captain Houston requested I would bring up his journal, which was many months in arrear. I gladly undertook this service, from the same motives as before, and now wrote from morning till night in the cabin, Captain King and his family having totally quitted the ship, and taken lodgings in Portsmouth, as had also Captain Houston and his lady. The latter officer came on board daily, and was highly pleased ​at the progress I made in his journal. Captain King also came on board occasionally, but did not deign to notice me, and I preserved the same strangeness towards him.
Soon after our arrival, I had written to an aunt in London, for information respecting my father, and other relations. About this time I received, in consequence, a letter from my mother, informing me that my father and grandmother had been deceased about two years, and that my venerable grandfather was still living at S—— in health and spirits; she added that herself and my two sisters were residing in Middle-row, Holborn, and should feel inexpressibly happy at seeing me again. My whole thoughts were now turned to the object of getting ashore, but the quo modo was to be considered, and of this I could form no idea. I could not swim; I had no money to bribe a waterman to fetch me away; and of gaining my liberty I had little or no hopes. I still continued assiduous in writing the journal for Captain Houston and I had reason to build upon some indulgence from the first lieutenant Mr. Oxley, should it rest with him to grant leave of absence, as I had occasionally written his log, during the voyage, and he had been pleased to shew me many marks of kindness.
After the pay-books were completed and sent up to London, I one day had some conversation with ​a respectable looking woman, who attended the ship with a bum-boat, and supplied the sailors with necessaries on the credit of their approaching pay, which was considerable, the ship having been six years stationed in New South Wales. As this woman appeared to possess some sensibility, I ventured to represent to her the distress I was in at my confinement to the service, and particularly my fears that I should not obtain leave to visit my friends before I was sent to sea again. The good woman, whose name was B——y, had sufficient penetration to perceive my drift, and that I wanted to take French leave of an English man-of-war. After expatiating on the risk she should incur in case of a discovery, and many injunctions of secrecy, she declared her willingness to assist me as far as lay in her power, as she had, she said, children of her own and pitied my situation. She. then advised me to pack up a suit of clothes, (which I informed her I had by me,) and commit them to her care, saying, that she would take them privately to her lodgings, to which she directed me, and that I must next contrive to get ashore on duty, or by any other means, when I should immediately come to her, and she would assist me in my further proceedings. Having treated this worthy creature with a glass of grog, and overwhelmed her with thanks for her disinterested kindness, (for such it certainly was,) I hastened to put up my clothes, consisting of a genteel black ​coat, boots, &c., which I had preserved for the purpose, and on her quitting the ship she concealed these articles among her merchandise without observation. This took place on a Thursday, and my only concern now, was to make good my landing On the following Sunday it was promulgated throughout the ship, that a certain number of the crew were to be allowed leave to go on shore in the afternoon. I determined, therefore, to make an effort and the dinner hour being over, I heard orders given to man the cutter for the liberty-men. The latter were in the mean time busily employed in rigging themselves for the occasion, in their best togs. I, of course, intended to go in my working dress, consisting of a red flannel shirt, blue jacket, and tarry trowsers, as I thought the officers would less suspect me of a design to run away. Full of anxiety but not without hope, I entered the gun-room, in which were Mr. Oxley, then commanding. officer of the ship, and Mr. Sherard the purser. The former inquiring my business, I answered, that I wished, with his permission, to go on shore for two or three hours, having a friend in Portsmouth, who I was in hopes would supply me with some necessaries I stood in need of. Mr. Oxley smiled and hesitated, remarking the shabbiness of my appearance; at length on my urging my suit, with a trembling voice, (for no one who has not been similarly situated, can conceive what I then felt,) he inquired ​if he might depend on my returning on board at sun-set in the ship's boat? I assured him that he might, and he then consented to my going. Having thanked him from the bottom of my heart, I quitted the gun-room, but had no sooner closed the door than I was recalled by Mr. Oxley. Somewhat alarmed lest he should be about to retract, I returned, and found I was called at the instance of Mr. Sherard, who, drawing out his purse, presented me with half-a-guinea! saying, he had promised me something for my late assistance. I thanked him and again withdrew. I had scarcely shut the door a second time, when I was again recalled, which still more surprised and alarmed me. On re-entering, Mr. Oxley said, (but in what I thought a good-natured way,) "Mind, Mr. Vaux, if you're not on board by six o'clock, I shall send the marines after you." I again promised obedience, and once more retired. I then hastened to inform a friend of my good fortune, and gave him the key of my chest, desiring him, in case I did not return in the evening, to take out such articles as he chose, as well as my bedding, &c., before they were seized by order of the captain. On ascending the deck I was again alarmed. The acting master, who was on the quarter-deck, seeing me about to enter the boat, called me aft, and inquired where I was going? I answered that Mr. Oxley had given me leave to go ashore. He replied, "Mr. Oxley, I am sure, would ​never give you leave to go ashore in that dirty dress," and absolutely forbad my going. It was in vain that I remonstrated, and referred him to Mr. Oxley; and during the delay occasioned by this conversation the boat was on the point of departure; when, luckily, the master turning his back to give some orders, I hastily descended to the Waist, and leaping through. one of the midship ports, found myself happily in the cutter, at the moment when the coxswain gave the word to shove off. I concealed myself in the foresheets until out of danger, and in bout ten minutes was landed at Common-Hard. I need not labour to paint the joy I felt at that moment, though it was certainly mixed with anxiety as to my further success. I immediately left the other liberty-men, who pressed me in vain to drink with them; and pleading urgent business, ran with the utmost expedition along the streets, inquiring for the Point, where having arrived, I found several ferry-boats ready to cross over to Gosport. A fellow calling out "over. Sir?" I jumped into his boat, and in a few minutes found myself on Gosport-beach. Thus far, I sailed before the wind; I walked up the beach, and the first object that presented itself was the London stage-coach, standing at the door of the Red Lion Inn. This novel sight which I had not beheld for so many years, wad so gratifying that I admired and examined it for some minutes, as minutely as a ​countryman would do the King's state-coach. I soon found on inquiry, the lodgings of Mrs. B——y which were at a public-house near the Red Lion. On asking for her of the landlady, I had the mortification to learn that she was out on board of some ship, and that her return was uncertain. It was now near four o'clock, and the days being short, my term of leave would soon expire. However, as there was no remedy but patience, I entered the tap-room, and calling for a pint of ale and a pipe, sat down to wait the arrival of my worthy friend. I had scarcely taken a dozen whiffs when I heard a footstep in the passage of the house; and my landlady putting out her head, inquired "Is that you, Mrs. B——y?" I had the pleasure to hear that good woman answer, "Yes." On the landlady informing her there was a young man waiting for her, she opened the door; and seeing me, said with a significant look, and evidently much pleased, "O, is that you, William, step up stairs with me, and I'll give you those things." I paid for my ale, and followed Mrs. B——, who was accompanied by her husband, and both of them loaded with goods they had brought from their boat. On entering their apartment, they expressed much pleasure at my good luck in getting ashore, and gave me the most cordial welcome. The old woman put on the tea-kettle, and while it was boiling, she looked out my clothes, which she set about airing by the ​fire. Having obliged me to take a dram, they began to consult on the measures to be adopted in my favour. Mr. B——y informed me that the coach I had seen would set out at six o'clock; that the inside fare to London was twenty-four shillings, and the outside seventeen shillings, inquiring, which I would prefer, and how I stood for cash. I answered that I had about twenty-four shillings, (namely the half guinea I had brought from New South Wales, another which I had received from the purser, and three or four shillings I had acquired since our arrival,) but that an outside place would answer my purpose, and I should then have a trifle for expenses. This worthy couple assured me I should not be lost for a few shillings, if I found myself at all deficient; but I declined this favour, knowing I could make shift with what I had. Mr. B——y then offered to go himself to the coach-office, and secure me a place. I accordingly gave him the required sum, and he hastened to the Red Lion. During his absence Mrs. B——y gave me some warm water to wash myself, which having done, she desired me to put on all my clothes but my coat; she then put an apron over my shoulders, and proceeded to dress my hair as well as she could, and, for want of powder, made use of some flour, with which she plentifully whitened my head. Having put on my coat, she next threw some flour over my back, and taking a view of me, ​me, declared she never saw so great an alteration in a man. She complimented me upon my genteel appearance, and added, that she was sure if I was met by any of my own officers, they would not know me in this garb. Her husband now returning, informed me that he had taken a place for me in the name of Lowe, as I directed, and had told the coachman to take me up at the Dolphin Inn, near the extremity of the town. Every thing being now arranged, I anxiously wished for the hour of six; and though I had not the least grounds for fear, yet I could not wholly divest myself of it. It is true, as I had landed at Portsmouth, it was not likely, in case there was any suspicion, that a search would be set afoot in Gosport, which is on the opposite side of the harbour; besides, no inquiry was likely to be made for me, till after six o'clock, at which hour the coach would set off. Having taken a dish of tea, and the time approaching, I took an affectionate leave of the good woman, promising to write to her on my arrival in town, and at a future day to reward her kindness. The old man insisted on accompanying me to the Dolphin, and seeing me safe off. The weather being intensely cold, they would have pressed me to accept a greatcoat, but I refused to trespass further on their goodness. At length we departed, and walked without interruption to the Dolphin; but I trembled at the approach of every officer or genteel person ​we met, so great was my fear of miscarriage on this important occasion. Having some minutes to wait for the coach, Mr. B—— insisted on my drinking a parting glass at the bar of an adjacent public-house, which having done, we heard the joyful sound of the horn, and the rattling of the coach-wheels. In a few minutes I ascended the vehicle, and as it drove off, I saw my worthy old friend waving his hand at the corner of the street, apparently as much affected as myself on the occasion. Having thus described my escape from a state of thraldom, in which I might otherwise have suffered much vexation and hardship, I shall here conclude the twenty-first chapter of my Memoirs.