# Diamonds To Sit On/Chapter 38

Contents
CHAPTER XXXVIII
UNDER THE CLOUDS
THREE days after Mechnikov had disposed of the two chairs the Columbus Theatre company left Pyatigorsk and went by train to Tiflis. Not satisfied with the contents of the two chairs which they had taken to the summit of Mashuk, the two friends had been waiting for the promised third chair, but Mechnikov had exchanged the twenty roubles vodka and had got himself into such a state that he could not come out of his room at the back of the stage.
'What a beast!' said Bender when he discovered that the company had left the town. However, he was undismayed and was more active than ever, for he considered that the chances of discovering the treasure had been enormously increased.
'We've no time to lose,' he said. 'We need money for our fare to Vladikavkaz, and from there we shall travel to Tiflis by car along the Georgian military road. What views! What landscapes we shall see! What beautiful mountain air we shall breathe! And in the end? One hundred and fifty thousand roubles, nought nought copecks! Yes, there's good sense in letting the good work go on.'
But it was not so easy to leave Pyatigorsk. Hippolyte had absolutely no talent for travelling without a ticket, and as all his efforts to get into a train had failed, he had to go on begging in order to collect some-more money. But that too was not very successful, for after twelve hours of weary and humiliating work he had managed to collect only two roubles. This was sufficient, however, for the fare to Vladikavkaz.
Just as they were approaching Beslan, Bender, who had been travelling without a ticket, was turned out ​254
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of the train, but he managed to jump on to the steps of a carriage, and from here he enjoyed the glorious panorama of the Caucasian mountains. At the Vladikavkaz station the train was met by a large open bus, and a voice called out: ‘ If any one is going by the Georgian military road they’ll be taken into the town for nothing.’ ‘ What are you thinking about. Pussy ? Get in and let them take us for nothing.’ They got in and a few minutes later they were in the town. The bus drew up outside the booking office. Bender was in no hurry to book a seat for travelling along the Georgian military road, so keeping up an ani­ mated conversation with Hippolyte he walked rapidly away from the bus. They had to stay several days in Vladikavkaz. All their efforts to get some money for their journey along the Georgian military road were either fruitless or only provided them with sufficient money for food. There was no opportunity here to collect money from sightseers, for the mountains in the Caucasus were too high and too obvious to be shown as a special exhibit. They could be seen every­ where, and there was nothing else to be shown off in Vladikavkaz. Their joint efforts at begging brought in thirty copecks in two days. ‘ WeU,’ said Bender, ‘ there’s only one thing to be done : we shall have to walk to Tiflis. We can easily do two hundred versts in five days. Don’t you worry, old man ; just think of the wonderful mountain views and fresh air. We don’t need anything else except a little money for bread and sausage. Perhaps you can add a few Italian phrases to your vocabulary. Do whatever you like, but you must bring in two roubles by this evening. And, my dear friend, we shall have to cut out our dinner to-night. Alas ! it is a wearv world ! ’ Early the next morning Bender and Hippolyte crossed the little bridge over the River Terek, walked ​UNDER THE CLOUDS
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past the barracks, and plunged into the green plain leading towards the Georgian military road. ‘ We’re lucky,’ said Bender. ‘ It has been raining during the night and we shall not need to swallow dust. Breathe the pure air, my friend, and sing some Cauca­ sian songs or recite some poetry ! ’ But Hippolyte could not sing nor could he remember any poetry, for the road was uphill, his back was aching, his legs were heavy from all the nights he had had to spend out of doors, and he had terrible indi­ gestion from the sausage he had eaten. He walked slightly weighed down to one side because of a fivepound loaf which he was carrying, and he could hardly drag his feet along. They walked on and on towards Tiflis along the most beautiful road in the world; but Hippolyte did not care how beautiful it was. He could not enjoy the scenery like Bender ; he did not even notice the River Terek, which was beginning to roar at the bottom of the valley. When the sun lit up the snow-clad mountain-tops he was merely reminded of the glitter of diamonds and of Bezenchuk’s white coffins. After Balta the road lay between rocks ; it rose upwards in a spiral, and by the evening Bender and Hippolyte found themselves at Lars, three thousand feet above sea-level. They spent the night in a humble cottage, for which they did not have to pay anything: their host had been so entertained by their card tricks that he insisted on rewarding them with a glass of milk each. The following morning was so beautiful that even Hippolyte felt better. He was able to walk more rapidly than before. Beyond Lars they came in sight of a magnificent range of mountains where the valley of the River Terek was hidden from them by rocks. The landscape became more and more sinister and the inscriptions on the rocks grew more and more numerous. At a certain point, where the huge rocks were almost ​256
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choking the river so that the bridge across it was only severity feet in length, the two friends read so many inscriptions on the rocky walls that Bender forgot all about the majesty of nature and tried to shout against the noise of the rushing waters : ‘ Oh ! What great people. Just look at this : " Nicky and Micky 1914.” An unforgettable sight ! See how artistic it is ! Each letter is a yard long and is painted in oils. Where are you now, Nicky and Micky ? ’ ‘ Pussy I ’ shouted Bender, ' let us immortalize our­ selves. Let us surpass Nicky and Micky. I’ve got some chalk. I’ll climb up and write “ Pussy and Ossy have been here.” ’ Without hesitation Bender put the last remnants of their sausage on the parapet of the road that separ­ ated them from the raging waters of the Terek and began to climb up the rock. At first Hippolyte watched him climb, then he lost interest, and turning away began to examine the ruins of the castle of Tamara. Meanwhile, and two miles away from the two friends, Father Theodore was coming away from Tiflis by the Georgian military road. He was walking along with a measured soldier’s step, staring straight ahead of him, and leaning slightly on a long stick with a shep­ herd’s crook. Father Theodore had reached Tiflis on his last money, and was now walking home. He was entirely depen­ dent on the generosity of others for his food. On one of the mountain peaks, which was seven thousand and thirty-five feet above sea-level, he was bitten by an eagle, but he beat the bird off with his shepherd’s crook and continued on his way. As he walked on and through the clouds he muttered to himself every now and then : ‘ I’m not a miser. ... I am simply ful­ filling my wife’s last wish.’ The distance between the enemies was shrinking. Turning a sharp comer. Father Theodore suddenly ​UNDER THE CLOUDS
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came face to face with an old man wearing gold-rimmed pince-nez. Father Theodore recognized Hippolyte. After his terrible experience in Batum, where all his hopes had been dashed to the ground, this fresh oppor­ tunity of discovering where the treasure was hidden had a curious effect on the priest. He clutched Hippolyte by the throat and shouted in a hoarse voice: ‘ Where are those diamonds that belonged to your mother-in-law ? Yes, to your mother-in-law, whom you killed ? ’ Hippolyte, who had been taken completely by sur­ prise, could not say a word ; his eyes were almost darting out of his head. ‘ TeU me ! ’ commanded Father Theodore. ‘ Con­ fess, you sinner! ’ Hippolyte felt he was being throttled. Suddenly, just as Father Theodore thought he had triumphed over Hippolyte, he saw Bender leaping down the rocks. He was coming down blissfully unconscious of what was going on and was gaily whistling a tune. Father Theodore was overcome with fear. Quite mechanically he continued to hold Hippolyte by the throat, but his knees were shaking. ‘ Aha ! ’ shouted Bender in a friendly way, ‘ who is this I see before me ? Our competitor ? ’ Father Theodore wasted no time, and obeying his instincts he seized the sausage and bread which Bender had left on the parapet and ran off as fast as his legs could carry him. ' Chase him ! ’ shouted Hippolyte, who was now able to breathe freely again. Bender began to call and shout after the priest. ‘ Hi! ’ he shouted. ‘ Look out! Bender’s on the hunt ! Where are you going ? I can let you have a splendid chair without any stuffing in it.’ Father Theodore could not bear the torture of being pursued and began to climb a steep rock. His heart was thumping loudly, but his cowardice urged him on. X7 ​258
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‘ Seize him ! ’ shouted Bender. ' He’s taken our food ! ’ yelled Hippolyte as he ran after Bender. ‘ Stop ! ’ roared Bender. ‘ Stop, I teU you ! ’ But these words only added fresh energy to Father Theodore, and a few minutes later he was some seventy feet above the highest inscription on the rock. ‘ Give us that sausage back,’ yelled Bender, ‘ and I’ll forgive you everything ! ’ But Father Theodore could not hear what was being said, for he had managed to climb up a rock that had never been climbed before. He found he was on a small, flat space at the top of the rock, and as he looked down he was horrified. He suddenly realized that he would never be able to get down again ; that it was an absolutely sheer drop from where he was down to the high road, and it was hopeless even to think of trying to descend. He looked down and saw Bender and Hippolyte far below on the road. ‘ I’ll give you the sausage back,’ shouted Father Theodore. ‘ Only help me to get down.’ But no one could hear what he said. ‘ Help me down ! ’ cried Father Theodore piteously. He could see Bender and Hippolyte, and judging from their gestures they were furiously angry. An hour later he lay down on his stomach and craned his neck over the edge of the rock. Bender and Hippolyte were moving away; they were evidently walking towards Tiflis. Night fell. Father Theodore shivered and wept in the darkness as he lay under the clouds. He was ready to give up all earthly treasures; he only wanted one thing, and that was to be taken down from the rock. He shouted and bellowed all night, and in the morn­ ing, after fortifying himself with sausage and bread, he roared with demoniac laughter as he saw motor-cars chasing along the road. He spent the rest of the day in contemplating the mountains and the sun. ​UNDER THE CLOUDS
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The next night he saw Queen Tamara. She came flying to him from her castle and said playfully : ‘ We shah be neighbours.’ And he rephed with considerable vehemence ; ‘I’m not a miser.’ The Queen said : ‘ I know,’ and then flew away. The third day Father Theodore began to preach to the birds.
your sins in public ! ’ On the fourth day he was pointed out to tourists. ‘ On the right is the castle of Tamara,’ said the experienced guide. ‘ On the left is a live man. How he climbed up that rock and what he lives on no one knows.’ ' What strange people ! ’ said one of the tourists. I‘ He must be a child of the mountains.’ Clouds gathered and eagles began to soar overhead. The boldest among them swooped down and stole the last piece of sausage, while a second eagle lifted the last piece of bread in its beak and then dropped it into the Terek. Father Theodore threatened the eagles with one finger and began to recite a nursery rhyme. The eagles looked at Father Theodore ; then they gave a £ piercing screech and flew away. Ten days later the fire-brigade came from Vladikavkaz with the necessary equipment and hauled ' Father Theodore down. As they were bringing him down he was clapping his hands and singing, but once on the ground he turned to the superintendent of the fire-brigade and shouted: ‘ I am not a miser. I’m only----- Ha, ha, ha ! ’ And the priest, roaring with laughter, was taken by the fire-brigade to the nearest lunatic asylum.