# Diamonds To Sit On/Chapter 35

Contents
CHAPTER XXXV
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THE next morning the two adventurers were approaching Cheboksar. Bender was dozing at the rudder and Hippolyte was rowing sleepily. Both of them were shivering with cold. The sun was slowly rising in the east and birds were singing loudly on the river-banks.
Bender opened his eyes and stretched himself.
'Good morning, Pussy,' he said, suppressing a yawn.
'There's a landing-stage ahead of us,' said Hippolyte.
Bender pulled the guide-book out of his pocket and consulted it.
'Judging from what it says here it must be Cheboksar.
"We must now draw the reader's attention to the beautiful situation of the town of Cheboksar." Well, Pussy, do you think it is beautifully situated? "At the present time there are 7,702 inhabitants." Oh! Pussy, let us give up chasing diamonds and raise the population of Cheboksar to 7,704. What do you say to that? I think it is a very good plan. Well, well, let us see what else it says. "Founded in A.D. 1555, there are several very interesting churches in the town. Apart from the administrative offices of the Chuvash Republic, there are a workers' faculty, a party school, a pedagogical institute, two schools, a museum, a scientific society and a library. The Chuvash and Cheremiss peoples are to be seen on the landing-stage and in the market-place."'
But before the two friends arrived at the landing-stage their attention was drawn to an object that was floating down the river a short distance away from their boat. ​232
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The chair ! shouted Bender. ‘ Pussy ' it’s our chair! ’ K friends rowed up to the chair. ±Itl was wa.s bobbing up and down in the water and was steadily floating away from their boat. The water was lapping its s^es. This was the chair they had thrown over­ board, and it was slowly wending its way towards the Caspian Sea. ‘ Hallo, my old friend ! Why, we haven’t seen each other for many a day! You know. Pussy, this chair reminds me of our own life, for we too are floating ■ down with the current. We sink, we come up agam, although no one is excited about it. Nobody loves us. Not a soul worries about us, and if the chess amateurs had managed to drown us yesterday there would have been nothing but an inquest held. “ Both bodies were lying with their feet south-east and their heads north-west. There were several wounds on the bodies, evidently inflicted by some blunt instrument ” certainly have beaten us with their chess-boards, and there’s no need to tell you that a chess-board is a very blunt instrument “ The first corpse was of a man of fifty-five, dressed in a tom coat, a shabby pair of trousers, and old boots. In one 01 the pockets there was an identification certificate in the name of Konrad Karlovich Michaelson.” Yes Pussy, that s all they’d say about you.’ 1 what would they have to say about you ? ’ asked Hippolyte glumly. ‘ something quite different about me. lhe second corpse was of a man aged about twenty-seven. He had loved and suffered: he had loved money and suffered from the lack of it. His face, with a noble forehead and a mop of curly black dTd towards the sun. His beautiful feet. Clad m boots size seven, were stretched towards the aurora borealis His body was enveloped in pure white underclothes and on his heart lay a golden harp ​ETCETERA
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inlaid with mother-of-pearl and a roll of exquisite music, “ Good-bye, my Gipsy It was obvious that the youth’s occupation had been poker work, for there was a certificate in his coat pocket issued by the Craftsmen’s Union ‘ Pegasus and Parnassus ’ on the 23, viii, 24, Number 86/1562.” And, Pussy, they would give me a wonderful funeral, with an orchestra and many speeches.’ As they went on talking, the two friends approached the Cheboksar landing-stage. In the evening they managed to increase their capital by five roubles by selling the Vassuki boat, which they had hired. Then they went on board the steamer Uritsky and were soon on their way to Stalingrad, where they expected to meet the Columbus Theatre company, for they hoped to overtake the Scriabin on the way. The Uritsky sailed down the river. The Scriabin put in at Stalingrad at the beginning of July, and the two friends watched it come in as they hid behind some packing-cases on the landing-stage. Before unloading there was a lottery on board, and large money prizes were offered. They had to wait about four hours before the chairs were taken off. The Columbus Theatre company were the first to leave the steamer, and Bender recognized Persitsky’s shining face among them. From their ambush the two con­ spirators heard him shout: ‘ Yes, I’m going to Moscow at once. I’ve already sent them a telegram, and what d’you think I said to them ?—“ I rejoice with you.” Let them guess what it means ! ’ Persitsky then examined a motor-car carefully, and after feeling the radiator, decided to hire it, got in, and drove away to the mysterious accompaniment of ‘ Hurrah ! Hurrah ! ’ from the other passengers. The hydraulic press was lifted out of the hold, the Columbus Theatre properties came next, and it was only when it was quite dark that the chairs were taken off the steamer. ​234
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The Columbus Theatre company got into five motorlomes and, shouting gaily, were taken straight to the railway station. ® in J. soing to give a performance m Stalingrad, said Hippolyte. Bender was decidedly puzzled. ‘ We’ll have to follow them. But how can we when we haven t any money ? Anyhow, we can go to the station and see what we can do.’ At the railway station they discovered that the Pyatigorsk via Tikharetskaya and Mmeralnye Vody. , friends had not enough money for more than one ticket. « j 1 know how to travel without a ticket ? ' asked Bender. ‘ I’ll try,” said Hippolyte timidly. ‘ Oh, the devU ! I think I’d better do the trying I U forgive you this time. I’U go without a ticket.' A ticket was bought for Hippolyte in an unreserved oompartment, and in time the former marshal of nobility arrived at the Mineralnye Vody station in the Caucasus. As he got out of the train he did his best not to be seen by any of the members of the Columbus lheatre company and started to look for Bender The actors left for Pyatigorsk, but Bender had not 1 arrived in the evening and found Hippolyte in great agitation. Where have you been?’ moaned Hippolyte I m so worn out.’ ’ You who have had a tired“ yoiir pocket And I’m not supposed to be your tram at Tikharetskaya, was it ? It wasn’t I sat there for three hours like a fool waiting with Sre’s™the?b ’ You’re a Last! wnere s tne theatre company ? ’ Gone to Pyatigorsk.’ ​ETCETERA
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' Then we must go there too. I’ve managed to scrape a little money together on the way—a clear profit of three roubles. Not much, I admit, but it’ll be enough for our tickets and a bottle of Narzan water.’ The train rattled along like an old cart, and within fifty minutes it managed to take the passengers to Pyatigorsk. Bender and Hippolyte found themselves at last at the foot of the mountain Mashuk.