# Memoirs of James Hardy Vaux/Volume 1/Chapter 20

CHAPTER XX.
HAVING resumed our voyage with a favouring breeze, and the ship being, to all appearance, tight and sea-worthy, with a pretty ample supply of wet and dry provisions, our prospects were now a little more cheering; and I looked forward with innate satisfaction to the moment when I should set my foot on English ground, free from the horrors attending a state of bondage, and at liberty to realize the ideas I had formed of atoning to society, and to my own conscience for the manifold errors of my past life.
We had, however, the mortification to find that the repairs the ship had undergone at Rio de Janiero, had only produced a temporary effect; for shortly after leaving that port, the ship again began to leak, and in a few days made as much water as before. The consequence was that all hands, ​except officers, were obliged to take their turn at the pumps, and it was only by pumping her out every watch that she could be kept free. I, of course, took my spell at this this necessary but fatiguing labour during the day, without murmuring; but I was not disturbed in the night, which, indeed, I considered would have been unfair, as I was on duty all day. The carpenter found, on inspection, that the principal leak was occasioned by some part of the stem being loose, where there was a large aperture some feet under water. Every exertion was made, by lightening her forwards, and applying what is termed a fothering mat to her bows, to remedy this evil, but without effect; for the working of the ship occasioned every particle of the stuffing used on such occasions to wash out immediately. This expedient, indeed, at first, promised to succeed to admiration, for it decreased the leak from sixteen to ten inches an hour; but the experiment was made in a calm, and the first rough weather undid all that had been done. It was now discovered that certain parts of the stem, called the fore-hoods, were loose, which occasioned the principal leak; and this was so far under water, that it was impossible to repair the defect while the ship was afloat. In fact, she was altogether in a very decayed state, being an old ship, and having endured much severe service; so that having now a voyage of three months before us, and reason to expect bad weather, as we ​should approach the English channel in the winter season, those who were best able to form an opinion entertained serious doubts of the ship's capability to perform the voyage; however, these doubts were not suffered to transpire publicly, and every precaution, which the experience of Captain King and his officers could dictate, was made use of. The stem, of the vessel, being the most defective part, was first secured, by passing very strong ropes over her bows, and under her keel, which were then boused taut athwart the fore-castle, and there made fast, in order to lash her bows together; for some fears existed that by the violent working of the ship in a head sea, her bows would absolutely part asunder! That she might be strained as little as possible, it was also determined not to carry a press of sail on the boltsprit when sailing on a wind. In this manner we continued our course for several weeks, without any incident worthy of notice; we had upon the whole pretty favourable winds, but as we approached the equator they were interrupted by occasional calms.
On the 17th of September, we crossed the equinoctial line, with the usual ceremonies, in which every officer and passenger cordially joined, and not a single person (the ladies and Captain King excepted,) escaped a complete ducking. The weather being delightfully fine, with a light and favourable breeze, every one was in high spirits, and the rites ​of Neptune having been celebrated in due form, a plentiful allowance of grog succeeded, which, by wetting the inside, made ample amends for the salt-water baptism, which all hands had mutually and liberally bestowed on each other without respect to rank or persons. This was a remarkable day with me, for on this day my original term of transportation expired. This event naturally produced a train of reflections in my mind. I took a retrospect of the miseries and vicissitudes I had undergone within the last seven years, and I returned fervent thanks to Heaven for my deliverance from exile, and for the unlimited freedom which I expected shortly to regain. But, alas! I was soon to experience another reverse, which, as it was both unexpected and unmerited, fell with the greater weight upon me: and thus it happened.
Hitherto, as I have before observed, I was not called upon in the night to take my spell at the pumps, but a few days after our crossing the line, by what accident I knew not, I was desired by the boatswain's mate of the watch, to turn out in the middle of a wet and windy night, and pump ship. As remonstrance with such a fellow as this would have availed nothing, I complied; but the next day took an opportunity of acquainting Captain King, and requested he would give directions that I should not be disturbed in future. To my great surprise, however, he informed me, that I had been called ​upon by his express orders, and that he was ignorant till that very night of my being excused from the duty of pumping, but had taken for granted that I always took my spell. I replied to this by submitting in the most respectful terms, that as I was employed in writing, &c., from morning till night, and also assisted in pumping the ship every watch, it was but fair that I should sleep every night, as all persons under the denomination of "Idlers" invariably do in king's ships. Captain King rejoined that the emergency of the case required every one to assist; that he had given orders to have no idler or other person excused, and that he should therefore insist on my compliance. I observed that he grew warm towards the end of this conference, though I had preserved the respect due to him, in all I had said; however, as I was conscious of being in the right, I ventured to hint that the situation in which I stood, being only a passenger not belonging to the ship, receiving neither pay nor even the allowance of spirits common to the meanest cabin-boy in the service, and which was essentially necessary to support the united hardships of labour and inclement weather; that all these considerations might, I submitted, entitle me to some distinction from the class of persons called idlers, who actually belonged to the ship; and I concluded with an intimation that the emergency of the case could not be so great as that my feeble assistance could not ​be dispensed with, as the ship was always freed from water with ease in half an hour, and not one of his (Captain King's,) domestic servants, who were stout able men, (five or six in number,) and all receiving pay from the ship, were ever called upon at all in the night, and but rarely in the day. The justice of my remonstrances appeared to have exasperated Captain King, who was of a very irascible temper, and he at length worked himself up into a violent rage, the consequence of which was (as usual with him,) a torrent of abuse; and as I knew by experience that it was in vain to attempt pacifying him, when in this mood, I quitted the cabin, and retired to my birth between decks. About an hour after, as I was sitting on my chest ruminating on the unpleasant situation in which I was placed, and heartily wishing for the moment which was to free me from a state of dependence, I was accosted by a master's mate, who informed me it was Captain King's orders that I should do my duty in the larboard watch of the after-guard, and that I was to be mustered with the watch at eight o'clock the same night. I now clearly saw the malevolence of Captain King's designs, and the illiberal advantage he was about to take of my helpless and dependent situation. I nevertheless cheerfully obeyed his orders, and that night kept what is termed the first watch, (from eight to twelve,) two hours of which I was stationed at the lee-wheel. At twelve o'clock I retired to my ​hammock, and was no more interrupted till eight the next morning, soon after which I was summoned to the cabin of Captain Houston, the acting commander of the Buffalo under Captain King, who, on my appearing before him, inquired abruptly, "if I chose to enter?" I was not surprised at this question, as I had foreseen in what manner Captain King intended to act, in order to place me more immediately in his power, and to give him an authority over me, which as I was before situated he did not possess. Beings therefore, prepared for such a question, and knowing the nature of the service, I answered Captain Houston in the affirmative. The latter then ordered me to attend the captain's clerk, and get myself duly entered on the ship's books. This I accordingly did, and now found myself suddenly placed in the capacity of a common sailor on board a king's ship; and it being war time, I had before me the disheartening prospect of being drafted, on our arrival in England, on board some other ship, (without a probable chance of once setting my foot on shore,) and of being perhaps immediately ordered abroad to some foreign station from which I might not return for several years. My motive for voluntarily entering was this: I was aware that had I refused to do so it was in the power of Captain King to press me against my will, and I doubt not but such was his intention. In the latter case I should have been entered as a pressed ​man, which might have operated at a future day against my obtaining leave to go ashore, and by that means effect my escape; whereas I was now entered as a volunteer, and became entitled to a small bounty. I am persuaded the reader will view this conduct of Captain King's in a very unfavourable light; as I had really been guilty of no crime, it was taking a most cruel and illiberal advantage of the power he had over me. Having released me from a state of banishment, and taken me into his service on the terms he did, without any immediate compensation, he had of course left me every reason to expect, not only my liberty at the end of the voyage, but also his future countenance and protection. Besides, the reader will remember that he had declined putting me on the ship's books when I first joined her at Port Jackson, in which case I should have had nine months' pay to receive on my subsequent arrival in England, and should have also had a daily allowance of spirits during the passage, for want of which I had suffered much in the cold climate and severe weather we encountered; instead of which, and after I had actually become a freeman by servitude, he had forced me into what may be termed a second bondage, almost equally irksome with the first, and that too when within six weeks of the end of our voyage. However, as I am of opinion with Shakspeare, that
"Things without remedy should be without regard."
About a fortnight after the event I have just related. Captain King, finding I was perfectly reconciled to my new duty, and that I offered no apology, as he perhaps expected I would, sent for me one morning, and ordered me to attend in the cabin every day at nine o'clock, for the purpose of writing as usual. As I did not conceive myself justified in refusing, I complied, and paid every attention to his commands. The boatswain's mates, understanding how I was again employed, desisted from calling me up to pump ship for several nights; when by some means Captain King hearing of this fact, actually gave orders that I should regularly turn out ​as well as the other idlers. This I considered such a proof of his determined wish to oppress and harass me, that I ventured a second remonstrance on the subject; when he again fell into a violent rage, and cautioned me not to offend him by a repetition of (what he termed,) my insolence, reminding me that it was now in his power to flog me, though it was not before!
He concluded with saying, that he left it to my choice either to write for him during the day, and take my turn at pumping in the night, or to do my duty before the mast entirely, and keep my watch in common with the rest of the crew. I made no hesitation in replying, that, with his permission, I should prefer doing my duty on deck. To this he assenting, I made my bow and withdrew. Here ended my functions in the clerical capacity with Captain King. From this day I never wrote a line for him; and thus was I rewarded for my past services. To shew the inconsistency of this treatment, I will just quote a line from the pardon granted me by himself, when Governor of New South Wales. In documents of this description, it is indispensably required to state the grounds, or motives, which induce the Governor to exercise the power vested in him by His Majesty's instructions. The blank left for that purpose, was thus filled up, "I, Philip Gidley King, Esquire, Captain general, &c. &c., taking into consideration the good conduct of ​James Vaux, and to enable him to serve as my clerk on board His Majesty's ship Buffalo, Do hereby absolutely remit, &c."
Just before we entered the channel, we had the singular fortune to fall in a Second time with the Thisbe frigate, in company with three sail of transports. On speaking, we ascertained that the latter vessels had on board a part of the army, lately under the command of General Whitelocke in the Rio de la Plata, and who had survived the ill-managed and fatal attack upon Buenos Ayres. We also learnt that the general himself had been put under arrest for his deficiency and misconduct on that occasion, and was now on his voyage home to answer for the same. Captain King now represented to the agent on board one of these transports, the distressed state of the Buffalo, and requested the aid of some soldiers to assist in pumping her, as the leaks daily grew more alarming. Forty privates were accordingly put on board us, and we continued our voyage in company with the transports, the Thisbe having outsailed us. About the 5th of November we made the land, which proved the coast of Cornwall, near Falmouth. We proceeded along shore to the eastward, and on the 8th came to an anchor at Spithead, (after a passage of nine months from port Jackson,) in company with two of the transports, but the third was missing. We had afterwards the melancholy information that this vessel (the John ​and Elizabeth;) had been wrecked during the preceding night, having struck upon some rocks in consequence of her keeping too near the shore; and it blowing a fresh gale, she went to pieces, when upwards of three hundred persons unhappily perished.